I am trapped between waking and dreaming. I can't wake up. I find relationships, people, events, they change. Not their faces, not who they are. But the nature of things, the nature of our relationships. Someone is friendly one day and hostile the next. Someone else is making plans with me then forgets I exist. I have become unanchored from time. I can't wake up and face reality, but I can't stand looking at the fucking fake cloud sky, it makes me sick. I CANT STAND THE FAKE CLOUD SKY.I am waiting for a train. I am alone. A train arrives, it is not my train. People get off, people get on. The train leaves, I am alone. I am waiting for a train, there is no one around. A train arrives, people get on, people get off. I am alone. I wait for the train to arrive and it's never my train. Should I kill myself?
there are layers to reality I don't even know them all but when you find an anchor you can hear it in their voice it isn't their faces. it is the dreams the live violently for you to live yoursit is their minds that you walk through nothing has continuity because you are seen by those you meet as an element even I think you might be an element and that isn't to say the sky is entirealy real but if you think about the dimensions its clear 0=1 >2 >3 > 4 ect so in your self you have total control with another you have control ect but if you find anchors in these AI PEOPLE NOT SKY you will see you can tend them against their demons the fates the spirits but the angels most of all.
>>38275674If you were unmoored from time the cause and effect of you killing yourself wouldn't return you to simple cause and effect terms, you'd still be in an illogical state where causes and effects are seperate.You kill yourself.You're still alive because the past is nullified by your time sorcery.Then again, you might just be going through derealization or some other schizo bullshit. In which case killing yourself will kill you.So you probably shouldn't.Clipping your fingernails would be a safer test.If you clip your fingernails and tomorrow they are longer than they should be, or if you clip your fingernails and they immediately become longer, then you'll be suicide proof.Then it'd be pointless to even try so you still shouldn't.
My friends get wiped cause I know to much. I had people show me how they lift a mind you wouldn't believe "death" if you were dead right now you might have been killed as a kid and they don't know how you survived and forcing their truth IDK maybe you're baby hitler I definitely twisted to the sky to survive but does this make the sky fake or my interpretation of it where does the art stop if the insertion is so perfectly placed as to be part of plan out side of itself you know you don't know what they want you just can't die and someone want yous you dead quantum. If you killed yourself you might get a choice into how to twist the line next coins and chances. Flip and find out.
>>38275724>Clipping your fingernails would be a safer test.I clipped them yesterday. They are still clipped. I feel like some continuity is maintained, it's just seemingly random parts that change.If you were unmoored from time the cause and effect of you killing yourself wouldn't return you to simple cause and effect terms, you'd still be in an illogical state where causes and effects are seperate.You are right, and this is my dilemma. I am trapped in an incoherent world of cause and effect. I am ready to wake up, but I can't I can't help but wait for a train that isn't coming. Unable to live yet unable to die. My dreams are so articulate and clear and real. Last night I dreamt I was working a job and I was sent to a theater production, I met a girl and I liked her, she wanted me to follow her but I didn't realize until I had woke up that she liked me. My dreams are real and stable now. How can I continue to live in a world where dreams are stable and normal but waking is unstable, to live in a dream or reality, how can I choose when they both are the same?
>>38275794Done anything weird to you brain chemistry lately?The most likely answer is that the world is exactly as it's always been and that your perception is buggered.Happened to me a few times, though time never stopped working.
>>38275836>Done anything weird to you brain chemistry lately?Yes, but it's too late. Simply not continuing is not an option. I have lost so much, there is no reality to return to now. What will it have been for otherwise? No, I must go forward and find the 'treasure' in the labyrinth
>>38275674Get some sleep.
>>38275870Same boat. Being crazy is too fun to give up entirely.Maybe mix some Law of Attraction in with your time wizardly to have nothing but positive effects regardless of past causes? That's what I'd try.
Went for a walk and I am feeling better. I used the feeling to create some (hopefully) interesting photos that attempt to convey the sense of limbo I'm in
I am ready to wake up now.
>>38275674you and many people around you are going through derealization from mild repeat brain damage. it's in the air. use a respirator, avoid crowds, and take some nootropics, if you really want off the ride.
