Has anyone ever felt they've gotten burned in a spiritual sense from a high intesity fap session?It's probably a dumb question but I just can't stop thinking about it even months later. But when jerking off one day high on edibles (40mg but I'm stupidly light weight), I felt like I was getting my brain injected with nonsense. I'm not the /x/ type but it really made me think. The stuff that I felt/thought of was so random like it wasn't my own thoughts and came to the forefront of my mind without any resistance. I felt like my heart was going to explode and my prostate was on fire. The thoughts were things that I have zero interest in/spiritual schizos typically talk about. Nature of time, spirit world, etc.Am I retarded or does this actually mean anything? Is this some Slaanesh tier bullshit where I can delve into something spiritual through what is basically pleasure torture or was I just high out of my mind and taking my own shit too seriously? I hope it's just nonsense.
>>39263279yeah now try it on stimulants and try to go as schizo as possible be careful as this will inevitably attract certain entities manifesting as voices and you should ignore them
>>39263279>I hope it's just nonsenseIt's just nonsense.
>>39263359>Manifesting as voicesWTF. I'm not the only one?
>>39263279One of the first genuinely spiritual experiences I had was after I got done masturbating to something vile. Heard a deep demonic voice declare>"YOU'RE MINE."Was very unsettled. Look I back, was obviously real. I don't know who it was who said it, probably some random demon of lust, but it was real.
Yeah I have and I think I know what it isFor background when I was 16 I had fantasies of raping and killing my mother and jerking off in her skin that I wouldve acted out if I thought I could get away with it and I almost started serial killing only stopping preparations to convert from satanism to Christianity as I figured out God existed and stopped being an atheist halfway through planning You might be wondering why its important but it's important because it shows that I dont have psychological guilt over much of anything I'll greentext how it played out >be me>16 >acceoy God >numb but pure waterworks for around 3 hours >get clean from porn for 8 months >feel nothing when relapsing but receive effects of an acute depression>mental doesnt change much apart from morally but get a growing sense everything is awful>have another moment a while after where I could sware God wanted to kill me >still numb mentally but theres a spiritual terror >Hard to describe but imagine knowing somewhere somehow you're scared but having no physical manifestations of said fear and not actually feeling or caring mentally (sounds paradoxical but that's really how it is) >made supplication and all is now well>never hear or feel Gods presence but know hes there>still oppressive thoughts of murder and general rage >those I can feel sorta properly>anything with God though only 'feels' outside of my head >only place I've ever gotten waterworks after 16 really is the church>still feel nothing mentally >know that God exists however and hes good and that's good enough for me I think what it is is that when you go numb in a certain area (not feeling guilt for jerking off is a big one rn because its ubiquitous do jerk until you're red raw) your soul and/or spirit if ur Christian still registers it and you feel the effects of it on your mind and body It's like a second psychology you cant corrupt as easy you should listen to it more
>>39266271This is one of the most insane things I've ever read on this board
Some of you ITT could probably use an exorcism or twohttps://youtu.be/DuzI8IM4hXU
>>39266734I highly doubt it's that bad I know its gonna sound faggy now but I've been tested for schizophrenia or psychosis and the closest I came was SSRI making shadow move in my peripheral (I was diagnosed with depression)If you saw me irl you would think I'm basically normal just a lil high and I still havent committed any real crimes yet God is good mate Remember that
>>39263279Depends on what you're doing I guess.I found sexual binaurals to be highly healing when applied to my traumas and practicing some seriously schizo mindfulness.The fap generates the energy, you go "become anyone you desire", stop fapping and meditate the energy to the wound and the (for example) past version of you whose wound you're healing now, and move on to the next version and the next version as needed.If you wanna do this in a hardcore way, don't use binaurals, get some of your favourite songs and change their pitch by -0,92 step or -92 cents.That changes their reference pitch to 417hz which is the solfeggio frequency of the sacral chakra. Happy healing.
