One of my weird memories growing up is a priest straight up dismissing me and saying I had no soul when I asked for directions on how to become a confirmed cath. How could I confirm this? It may be loneliness and overcompesation speaking, but I genuinely love life and see others as my equals. If I were to dismiss everything and just try to be ridiculously positive, what would happen, assuming I'm really accursed? Btw how do I reaccess traumatic memories?I just want to be kind.
I have very unsettling memories. I recall confronting harassers and gangstalkers since childhood. Something akin to what GATE anons described too, specially theater and the pink liquid. I have some vague recolections of ritual abuse, but is so distant, what I'm sure is that every time I tried asking for help as a kid I got gaslighted and humiliated. I remember dying at least 3 times in the most offputing ways. Namely: jumping on a subway trainline as a kid. Meeting a giant girl with yellow eyes that told me among many things reality is a simulation (I beat her and ended up tortured for it, this was supposed to have occured on 4th grade and I remember trying to ask peers if it was real and i they too remembered it, was immediately swarmed by people asking me to elaborate on it). Last but not least, slicing my writs aged 13 while under the effect of shrooms. Recently I've developed the delusion that I actually really died back then and that the last week was foreseen as the end of a purgatory-like punishment. I have had deja vu non stop. Just caught myself planing to hang myself on the open to "fullfill the scenario". I think genuine gangstalking is taking its tool on me. I recently moved to a small town and the weight of so many people gazing at me as if I was a monster, of animals stirred at me, I feel as if already in hell, constantly mocked by something I can't even grasp. Vajrayana Lamas told me I was unfit for further teachings, 5 different cath paroquies ghosted me.Pic related. Could it be my eyes seem off to people?
"What's reality? I don't know. When my bird was looking at my computer monitor I thought, "That bird has no idea what he's looking at." And yet what does the bird do? Does he panic? No, he can't really panic, he just does the best he can. Is he able to live in a world where he's so ignorant? Well, he doesn't really have a choice. The bird is okay even though he doesn't understand the world. You're that bird looking at the monitor, and you're thinking to yourself, I can figure this out. Maybe you have some bird ideas. Maybe that's the best you can do." ~Terry Davis
>>39606960>>39606960No need to confirm it, for fucks sake don't waste your time.The fact that you still ask questions and have an interest in the world means you have a soul.The priest probably had unsolved shit and overactive pattern recognition, and you the poor bastard just happened to look like someone who fucked him over in the past.Look for the positives, and express thankfulness/gratitude in ANY constuctive manner. Acknowledge the bullshit that will inevitably come your way but don't dwell on it.When you learn how to consistenly do that last bit, for the love of fuck please share with everyone else in the class.
>>39606960I have no idea why that priest said that. He was probably just an anal retentive faggot. You aren't damned as long as you're living. There's no such thing as being permanently damned to hell while you still walk the earth.
>>39606960You're not damned
>>39607777holy quads
>>39606960It was just priest being cunt.And catholics are not real christians.
