1998 edition>Banzuke:http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspxhttps://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/>Fight Schedule & Results:https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoMain/torikumi/1/1/>Some sumo links and how to watch live:https://rentry.org/uwbgc88dPrevious thread >>255236
This chanko is decent. Kind of exactly how I thought it'd be desu. The stock plus onions sauce adds a ton of flavour.
Have any of you actually tried sumo wrestling
>>256104I do stuff like this sometimes.
>>256104No but I've watched fat men fight.I'd actually be up for joining an amateur sumo club. I imagine it being sort of like Fight Club where it's just dudes just exerting themselves to get it out of their system, minus the part where people break each other's faces apart.
KUSANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Kusa, yes!
>>256106I've tried it recently, it's really fun
Futaslophttps://youtu.be/nQsY0xSLaO4?si=CVMdI48Ht6CPF-3i
>の>ノ>乃Rank them in order of shikona kino. Shikino, if you will.
>>256113ノ>の>之>乃
>>256112Shunta has nice hair.
>>256112Good to see Nabatame hasn't lost his power, even if that's two month old video. Also Roga giving his chest to Sandanme shitters is just a humiliation ritual lmao, none of them got close. I guess he only recently got that mawashi and is breaking it in? Never seen a silk mawashi used in training before.
>>256116>he only recently got that mawashi and is breaking it inCorrect. Common practice for a new one.
Speaking of mawashi I don't like Onosato's new darker blue one. The emerald one he uses on tour looks nice.
>>256104Yes! I went to one of Konishiki’s touring events. My wife paid the extra bit so I could fight one of the guys after all the exhibition stuff. I took it autistically serious and ate like crazy for months leading up to the event. Went from my normal 178 to 199 in like 4 months (fat and muscle, please don’t bully). It’s a real chore to eat so much.>day of event>first two guys klutz around and get tossed>pick who you want to fight>pick the heaviest dude who also won the exhibition tournament >hit him as hard as I possibly can at the tachiai>genuinely push him back a couple steps>real momentum stops>try to trip him, no fucking way. It was like a tree>try to work an arm in>get katasukashi’d, flipped and spun 180It was a really great time and I got pictures with all the guys afterwards
>>256123Sorry, don’t know why it uploaded sideways.
>>256123Lol lmao you got put to your place jonidan man
>>256124because you're low IQ
>>256123Based. Absolute unit.When I do amatuer sumo it's against other novices so really fun.
>>256104I tried to get some of my judo buddies to do it with me, but they didn't want to.
>>256104Coach ran sumo drills for linesmen back in high school, but I've never been in a real bout, even amateur.
>>256127would have been funnier if your image was sideways too
>>256064osaka is the rowdiest stadium too. it should be good
>>256138the keks after dan pwns horseyru again are going to be deafening
Tochi's restaurant is openJap basedboys can now go to le foreign restaurant to have le authentic novelty foreign slop
I would eat at Orgian Ho.
restaurant gonna go out of business cause all the Georgians in Japan are massively dieting
>>256142looks sloppy
>>256145Georgia is a poorfag country so their food is necessarily going to be slop.
>>256145I'd chanko that nabe.
Any bold banzuke predictions?
>>256150Hoshoryu will be listed at the top right.... in bold.
Maybe I'll remember to make a bingo card this time, though obviously not until the banzuke is out.Here's what I have so far:>Yoshinofuji gets another kinboshi>Uchimuso>Shimpan bowling>Tom #1 makuuchi fights>Blood>Torinaoshi>Fusen>Rare kimarite>Playoff>Loss to Juryo>Gyoji falls over
>>256153cushion throwing should be automatic win
>>256155With the kinboshi printers we have right now? No way.
>>256150roga won't change rank
>>256148
>>256155osaka zambutons are nailed to the floor and celebratory throwers are subject to execution. I don't know why the jsa is trying so hard to kill the tradition, but they are
>>256153You could swap blood for Oho's cut re-opening.
>>256158Roga going 7-8 sounds like a bingo square.
>>256116>just a humiliation ritual lmao, none of them got closewhy is this, is it that they are skipping leg day too much or more technique? roga looked like he was just messing with ten year olds
>>256168Most rikishi aren't naturally strong and don't try very hard because they're content to live in fatso daycare. What you're seeing is fat losers get exposed. Roga's last weigh in was 156kg which isn't even that heavy all things considered.
>>256123Nice
>>256170>and don't try very hard because they're content to live in fatso daycareFutagoyama losers are guilty of that far more than the denizens of most stables are. Futagoyama is a joke stable, only trash would agree to go there.
If I were to join a stable it wouldn’t be futogoyama it seems very sterile and autistic there. Somewhere like otake would be much better.
There is nothing humiliating about not being able to push Roga.
>>256182>Futagoyama is a joke stableFucking what? Three sekitori is not a joke stable.
>>2561891 sekitori
>>256190Mita and Nabatame are sekitori level and your irrational hatred of Futagoyama won't change that.
>>256188>Asakoryu, tired of being bullied in Makuuchi, takes it out on his stablemates
>>256191I don't hate them, you were just wrong.
>>256191sumo is littered with trash who can still barely manage to make juryo for two or three bashoes
>>256194Indeed.
>be 12 time champ yokozuna>open stable in tokyo>still no sekitori after 13 yearswhat went wrong?
>>256196Nothing wrong, bro. Everyone is smiling, bro. Aloha spirit!
>>256196He is doing his style of coaching
>>256199>He is doing his style of coaching
>>256200Maybe if he had coached Onosato he would have told Ono to bend his elbows.
>>256196Musashimaru could probably get diagnosed as brain damaged. Have you even heard the guy talk? I know he doesn't use English much these days but holy shit man:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNZr4OeuyrwAlso that Maezumo clip of him. Holy shit what ridiculous power.>>256202Onosato's dohyo-iri being so shit remains an enigma. I actually kinda like Hosh's desu. Can't wait until he gets so jaded and hurt that he gives the crowd that Akebono death stare.
>>256196dan jr will rise up and bring back the PIA era
I used to like Hoshoryu's dohyo-iri, but he's subtly changed it recently so that his arms are almost vertical when he does the chirichozu bit. I prefer when they stay horizontal.
>>256208
>>256208Hiradoumi must be so fucking sick of holding that sword.
>>256210He just imagines that it's a bone.
>>256211God I love that lil nigga. He got that dog in him.
https://strawpoll.com/Q0Zp7rWQ6gMhttps://strawpoll.com/Q0Zp7rWQ6gMhttps://strawpoll.com/Q0Zp7rWQ6gMhttps://strawpoll.com/Q0Zp7rWQ6gMhttps://strawpoll.com/Q0Zp7rWQ6gMALRIGHT YOU FUCKING GAYLORDS LETS GET YOUR VOTES IN RIGHT FUCKING NOW
If the International Sumo Federation wants Sumo in the Olympics so bad why did they get so pissy about El-sefy celebrating those years ago at the World Games.If you want to preserve the Shinto religious aspects why in the world are you trying to make it an international sport.Who the hell is going to look at it as anything more than something funny Japanese people do if you insist on enforcing the Shinto religious values?I'm not saying Sumo has to be diluted, but if you want to be international, and god forbid in the Olympics, you have to dilute it obviously. I'm not the one saying it should be in the Olympics, the ISF is.Olympics is a reality TV show fundamentally, so of course in order to be in you need to have the winners cry and jump for joy as the coach rushes in to hug them and give them a flag to shake around. If you don't allow that its not even up for debate. And frankly even if the Olympics did allow that there's no way it would become international anyway.
>>256218international sumo is full of ruskis so it's not going to happen
>>256218>>256218>you need to have the winners cry and jump for joy as the coach rushes in to hug themNo one is trying to stop them from doing that. Just don't do a backflip on my heckin' dohyo, camelfucker. And definitely don't pull a Hakuho and completely chimp out over a decision that doesn't go your way. It's not hard.
>>256142Tochi is looking good.
>>256214Who the hell do you think will win March if not the big three?
>>256230Kirishima or Atamifuji.
>>256232Kirishitma is a bold pick. Atami is a suicidal pick. Great as he did last basho he didn't have to face many of the top guys, including:>Takayasu>Oho?>WMH>YoshiHe primarily plugged away at the M5-7 dudes. Sure he double 'boshi'd, but he also lost to both Ozeki. If he goes double digits he'll have had an incredible basho, but he sure as hell ain't winning it.
>>256230oho, he shat the bed in sanyaku again, time to get double digits.
banzuke doko?
>>256248Three day weekend.
>>256234Oho chads can he do it this basho? I thought last basho was his time to shine but other than beating Dan he didn’t look too good. Why can oho beat Dan but no one else? Will it ever be our day in the sun?
>>256251He will KK with double digits this basho, with win over Onosharto and Aonishiki
Oho is the new Shodai. He exists to ruin storylines.
>>256253him ruining kinbozo yusho was pretty kino
>>256254That was the basho where Shodai handed Hosh his 2nd loss and everyone thought the rope run was over. Hiradoumi simply made everyone nod in agreement.
its out
onokatsu is at m6w for the 3rd basho in a row with 7-8
OUR HEROES
>4-11 Ichiyamamoto M1e -> M6ewtf even is this. All of 2025 Ichi had insane banzuke luck. I like him, but cmon. Also Ura with 4-11 went from M2e to M8e. Why ????Fucking Takanosho with 5-10 went from M3e to M4w LMAOOOOOO
>>256264sometimes i wish they took in results from the previous basho and tried to equalize the rankings. takanosho still in the joi after two 5-10s from komusubi is pretty stupid.
>>256264>Ura with 4-11 went from M2e to M8e>Takanosho with 5-10 went from M3e to M4wi get that they factor in strength of opponents but that's ridiculous
>>256230>the big threeHorseryu isn't part of any "big three" or any other sort of superlative group. As things currently stand in sumo, there is one big guy and that guy is Dan.
>>256267>there is one big guyexcuse you
>>256268>le 10-5 faceonly a kwab would lose as many as 5 in makuuchi and imagine how little hinkaku you'd have to posses to lose that much as a yokozuna
My dick throbbing thoughts>Atami making his Sanyaku debut fuck YEAH>WTK beating Yoshi to M1e is questionable>The Ultimate Manlet at M2e fuck yeah>Goshima making his Makuuchi debut fuck yeah>Holy shit they actually demoted Roga on 7-8?!?!?>Enho at only Ms4e? Fuck outta here>Okaryu is so close to Sekitori come on my dude you can do it
>>256151He was right!
Is Ura unironically the best pick for mid-maegashira? No-one else there seems likely to do better than 8-7, while Ura at least has a chance at 9, assuming last bash was a fluke.
>>256275the problem is ura blows his knees out trying to be spiderlard
>>256269He had single digit wins as an ozekiZak tier
How far will Takahara make it? He seems like too much of a manlet
>Fujiryoga in makuuchiMy ugly bastard :)
Wait Hakunofuji is 3 ranks below Takanosho despite them being at m3w and m3e with the same score. They hate his ass.
Atami making it to sanyaku brings tears to my eyes, hope he can get a KK.
>>256285It was either that or overpromote Abi and Kotoshoho.
>>256287the problem is thay they DID get overpromoted by being ahead of Hakunofuji.
>>256288Nah, more like Onokatsu and Oshoma should have dropped. Oh well. Don't get hurt next time.
Are they factoring in previous under and over promotions/demotions in this time? I can't see why else they'd give Kinbozo -8 on a 4-11 except that he's a combined 18-27 over three basho but has only gone -5.
well, he made it to sanyaku finally
>>256302>Yes, I'm taking all these meatballs>What are you gonna do about it, bitch?
>>256301They are factoring the general mood around a given rikishi on /sp/ and /xs/. We kept calling him Kinbozo and the committee acted accordingly
>>256304Then explain to me why Roga was demoted on 7-8. That's not what's meant to happen. Also WTK being put above Yoshi is fucking wild. Everything below the Sanyaku is a complete clownshow this banzuke.
>>256305The new guy making the banzuke was told to put Kusano over WTK but he's such a newfag he didn't know what to do when he didn't find Kusano on the list
>Enho is injured againJust find him a non-sumo job, he's never getting elder stock
>>256263FUARKKKKK
>>256311very traditional
>>256309Man what the fuck
>>256309Why does he even bother anymore?
>>256309Holy shit did a Futagoyama rikishi really ruin Enho's entire career by winning that 6-0 match?>>256263Fujinokawa is going to be pronounced dead in the dohyo after either his Onosato or Hoshoryu match and the crowd are going to go fucking wild. Godspeed you mad cunt.
>watch new Chris video>get to part hyping up Fujinokawa's career high>clip is him getting picked up like a baby with legs flailing and put outsidedamn this feels like a malicious choice, Chris didn't have any other clips?kek I think we know who one of those rikishi who wasn't "nice" to him was
>>256329Enho was already injured when he fought Nobehara.>>256309source? I haven't seen anything
>>256304Dan was underpromoted, he should be at least one rank above HorseSHITryu
>>256309Letting manlets in the to JSA is terrible idea. Sumo is a big man's sport, manlets aren't psychologically capable of participating effectively in the sport's management. The whole deal with Keisho becoming skinny is already bad enough, but at least he used to be a big guy, Enho never was so he can never understand what it means to be huge and what big guys experience.
>Asahifuji going +111 on 7-0How is this fair???
>>256338He only had 1 difficult match the entire basho, the rest were him gently walking the newbies and old men.
>>256336I'm fine with the occasional manlet for that exact reason. It's nice to have a visual showcase of why sumo is a big man's sport, to avoid feeling complacent about the typical maegashitter's abilities.
>>256340Yeah, Enho is OK in the tsukkomi role in the ring, someone has to lose every match, but you don't want a guy like that in management.
Dan was the only guy in upper sanyaku who earned a promotion on the newest banzuke.
>>256347Why is he blushing? Is he drunk on OZEKI sake?
>>256349Because he just made his Sanyaku debut.
>>256336I give zero fucks about their size, it's about skill and winning.
>>256342You are a complete retard. Fuck off and watch soccer or some other gay shit already.
>>256351Being huge is a skill. The ability to consume and digest 10,000 calories during the day when you only burned 8,000 is a skill. Just look at Onosato, dude is a big winner and he has two moves. Enho is a manlet with an eating disorder and he is probably gay too. He doesn't have skills, if he had skills then he'd be good like Onosato. People who like manlets do so because they see themselves as oppressed losers, it effeminate behavior.
>>256353If you're gonna bring up an outlier Yokozuna please talk about Chiyonofuji or Harumafuji.>Enho is a manlet with an eating disorderHey man he just doesn't like rice.>and he is probably gay tooAlright I got nothing on that he do be kinda zesty.>He doesn't have skillsFuck off, anyone even close to the joi at that size has mad skills. What next? You gonna talk shit about Fujinokawa?
>>256349>Why is he blushing?Japs think Europeans are always flushed.
Eastern Europeans are over-represented at the World's Strongest Man competitions. Consider that while wondering why a Ukrainian kid on steroids is able to shove fatsos around so easily.
>>256356They inject them directly into his brown patch, where he stores it for use later in the ring
Anyone got the webm of the Atami stride as he entered for the last playoff?
>>256354how do you grow up in Japan and not like rice?sounds like a disgrace
>>256338>How is this fair???Because that's what usually happens.
>>256361He has an eating disorder, its a common psychological problem people get. it started when he was young trying to assert himself in power struggles over food with his parents by refusing to eat and later on he decided to reject rice because its the stable food of Japan, so he is trying to assert authority over Japanese society by rejecting rice. And the only thing he got out of his assertiveness is he ended up as a manlet and failure, he is a living embodiment of how not to lead your life. Good decent people in Japan eat rice
>"Japanese psychology is such that we root for smaller people." - 66th Yokozuna WakanohanaI'm so sick of this rage baiting faggot who thinks height is self-determined. Height gives you a head start, but skill and perseverance make you a true champion.
>>256364Dan be like>Woah, he was under Akebono, I should model myself after thisBro everyone was under Akebono lmaoooo
>>256364Its easy to confuse people who enjoy being surprised on the rare occasions manlets like enho win with actual support for manlets.
The dohyo was silent except for the distant murmur of the crowd. Hōshōryū had just completed his ceremonial steps when a gleaming sword, a ceremonial prop, slipped from the bearer’s hands. Time seemed to stretch. The sword clattered across the clay dohyo—and in a surreal, horrifying instant, Kinbōzan Haruki stumbled backward, and the impossible happened.Chaos erupted. Wrestlers scrambled, attendants shouted, but in this world, where the rules of reality bend for the macabre, Dr. Frankenstein—hidden among the audience in a long coat—sprang into action. With lightning crackling across the dohyo, he moved with surgical precision.Machines whirred, wires snapped into place, and Kinbōzan’s head was reunited with his body. Sparks flew as electricity coursed through the veins, and for a tense heartbeat, nothing happened. Then, slowly, Kinbōzan stirred. His eyes flickered open, alive again, but there was a strange stiffness in his movements. The crowd gasped, unsure whether to cheer or flee.“Back in the ring… but not quite the same,” Dr. Frankenstein muttered, a mix of triumph and unease in his voice. Kinbōzan stood, slightly jerky but upright, his sumo mawashi glinting under the arena lights. He raised a fist, not in ritual, but in eerie acknowledgment of a second life.From that day forward, the dohyo would remember not only the strength of its wrestlers but the day science and horror danced on clay, and Kinbōzan Haruki became a legend… both alive and something otherworldly.
>“Back in the ring… but not quite the same,”
>>256359
>>256378Was it autism?
>>256378can you add some camera shake each time he steps
>>256379Probably. My turn to request Atami doing that breath holding thing like inflating himself big and round.>>256380No, can you?
>>2561244chan strips exif data from images, which is what your phone uses to set the orientation of the picture in your camera app. You need to re-rotate it on your pc before posting.
>>256369kuso ai
>>256382What does the floor feel like ?Is it similar to concrete? Did he just ura nage him?
Do you think these guys live in a lot of daily pain i.e back pain, knee pain , ankle pain?
>>256389Yes.
>>256388it's like a clay tennis courtIs it similar to concrete?no. there are levels to hardness and that would actually destroy everyone
>>256389diabeetus pain
>>256391So skateboarders are the toughest of all
>>256382Asa could've probably beaten that twink in an MMA fight too.
>>256393トーニー鷹。。。跪く。。。
time's up
>>256397>Losing to HoshoryuObviously fake.
>>256398winning against onosato and losing to hoshoryu makes for a better storyline
>>256397>Loses KotozakuraLmao
>>256403He finishes 10-5, loses to yokozunas, fujinokawa, oho and kirishima who gets a 13-2 JY and ozeki promotion
>>256364>I'm so sick of this rage baiting faggot who thinks height is self-determinedI don't know I think staying up all night to talk to other internet wierdos from the age of like 12 really stunted my growth
King K Rool ass looking MF'r
It's official: Dan is the most popular rikishi of all time according.
>>256378strut
Fujinokawa's first joi basho, how does he do? He put up 10-5 from M7 last time around beating up on mediocrities like Roga, Gonoyama & Onokatsu. Everyone decent he faced beat him and he was never matched against joi or higher, so high double digit losses for him this time around seem like a good possibility.
Anti-Danners are facing down a decade and a half of seeing their arch nemesis cemented atop the banzuke as yokozuna. How do they cope?
>>256417The anti-Dan posters. Are they in the room with us now?
>>256389>these guys live in a lot of daily painAbsolutely.
Abema's new graphic for the Osaka tournament feature Dan and completely ignore both yokozunæ.Imagine how little hinkaku you'd have to posses to be a yokozuna who gets overshadowed like that
>>256423They should've put someone random on there with Dan like WMH.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opOVPJRBhykIchi: I don't like plain rice, fish, or raw meatHosh: Are you sure you're even Japanese?LOL
>>256422Mirin those delts.
>>256423Atamifuji is on pace to break Takayasu's futility record for most JYs with zero Ys
>>256434Takayasu's record isn't in JYs so much as it is in playoffs. Most matches are a 50/50 so losing 9 without a single wild is ultra unlucky desu. This was only Atami's 2nd playoff loss, with his other being Takakeisho at 11-4 in September 2023.
>>256435Oh wait, shit, I got confused. Takayasu has only lost 3 playoffs, it is his JYs that are at 9. Holy shit Atami is blowing away his pace so far.
>>256436I was about to call you a megaretard, but you pulled it back. lol
>>256436Atami won't wrestle till he's 36, he might not even make it to 30 with his arthritis.
>>256389Takayasu spends half an hour after waking up rolling around his bed to get his back set.Tomokaze can't feel his left foot, which isn't pain but still.It was generally shocking seeing Ura without knee braces at the London exhibition.
>>256439I doubt Atamifuji has any health problems whatsoever at this point. A random translation of a random thing a fucking year ago means nothing. Did the guy going double 'boshi and barely losing a playoff to Dan look like he was struggling with his health? Just LOOK at this young man's swagger >>256378, he's the picture of sumo health.
>>256442I get you are bored and baiting for fun but cmon man. At least find something more believable than claiming Atamifuji is a paragon of health.
>>256443I said sumo health, not health. Call me when he kyujos because as far as I'm seeing Atami is fine and always was.
>>256444>I doubt Atamifuji has any health problems whatsoever at this pointHe hasn't had any significant physical injuries in the past year is the strongest claim I would make.In general rikishi won't disclose health issues unless there is something already noticeable to the regular person or can be used as an explanation.God I hope he never hits 300kg.
>>256442retard
Just for you I'm picking Atami for my fantasy stable. Fujinokawa is in there because I believe in manlet power. Yoshi and Haku really need new pictures that weren't taken in a public restroom.
>>256442>barely losing a playoff to DanDan dominated him both times they matched up, in their 2nd contest Dan authoritatively threw him into the clay
>>256452You know he can't here you lie for him, right?
>Japan: OMG we finally got the first Japanese dai yokozuna of this century, this is so epic!!!but then instead of just dominating easily as he already proved himself capable of Onosato decides to spend his time shoving sake bottles up his ass rather than keeping himself in shape and he stops winning yushoes and now he isn't even y1e and some foreigner is taking home all the cup again. japs thought they had finally regained control of sumo but it was a mirage, control and domination just passed from mongs to the slavs kwabjapan
>>256454nips just want a good anime storyline and dan's is superior
>>256456fellow storyline chad
>>256456THE SUPERIOR STORYLINE WAS ZAKGOD FUCKING WHYWHY DID YOU HAVE TO PROMISE YOUR GRANDFATHER'S GRAVE YOU'D RETURN TO PERFORM YOUR DOHYO IRIEVERY EVIL SPIRIT ON THE PLANET SWARMED YOU AT THAT MOMENTIS DAN SIMPLY THE ULTIMATE MANIFESTATION OF ZAK'S HUMILIATION RITUAL???
>>256458Zak allowed dan to win those to ensure that there's a skilled Ozeki in place when he gets promoted
>>256123that looks like fun. good for you
Why does this old man look perpetually confused and unsure of where he is?
>>256363rice is actually just plant excrement. you are all earing white plant poo
>>256463Because he is. RoboCop's a legend though, so show some respect.
>>256464It's a seed, dummy. Egg, not poop.
>>256466did you know that good japanese noodles always contain a small amount of maple tree sawdust for texture ?
Are you okay, Anon?
anyone have the atamitantrumfuji webm?
>>256463He has terrible eyesight and has to squint to see shit
>>256470
>>256470>>256473he really is majin buu
>>256477Looks like Atami went in with zero gameplan or awareness of anything.
Do you think some women genuinely like the way these guys look and want to fuck them? Or just because of the status?
>>256481Was that a serious question?
>>256481dont make me post that asanoyama groupie
>>256478Buttered, oiled and iced up his feet in preparation for that bout, that was an outrageous amount of sliding about.
Nabatame bros it’s getting close to showtime again. Last basho we had some minor setbacks at the end but we can just chalk that up to knocking the rust off and getting back in shape. Two weeks from now we will see Niggatame in prime time form and ready to zensho in sandanme.
>>256488I will get my dick out for Nabatame
how do you even choose for the M5 to M10 box?the guys on the top of that list are gonna get rolled by the people above, but the guys on the bottom are always dudes who are so middling they've hovered in mid Maegashira for agesI'd pick Hakuoho but I've heard jack fucking shit about his injury since he dropped, seems like a bust.I went with Ura since I literally have no other idea what to do in this category and I feel like he can probably do well at M8, all the other categories I think I did fine.
>>256494In this day and age you'd pretty much want to ask AI lots of questions to the point where it writes code to process sumo data, and subsequently produces a prediction model for it. You can then tweak it over time to have features you think are important.Copilot tends to be pretty good for this. Once it's done you just run your app and don't have to think hard about it anymore.
>>256499What level of autism is this? Seems like a terminal case.
>>256499damn did I step on a landmine here?Is this why so many picked the Yokozuna in January despite the very obvious context that they were both going to struggle?
https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202602260001524.htmlISEGAHAMA IS A CURSED BEYA
>>256504Wait so Teru smacked Haku? Little shit probably earned it.
>>256504>uppity Hakuho recruit acts out and is treated properly for his bullshitThe only reason Teru bothered reporting himself is because he knew the spineless tard would whine to the press about it first.
>>256504
>>256504Beer bottle, glue, golf club or?
>>256508Disappointed glare. Atami is used to it but Haku ended up in tears.
>>256504How will they punish him? Will they actually be lenient since Teru admitted it himself?
>>256512He will be put under Ajigawa's guidance, Iseghama will lose the ichimon flagship role and become subservient to Ajigawa.
Maybe forcing a beya to handle 50 wrestlers was a bad idea idk
>>256514Maybe Teru is human garbage and has zero hinkaku and should never have had as many as one under his tutelage. Let him go work on girl's sumo with Hakuho kwabamb
>>256473>>256477I feel so bad for the little guy, he looks heartbroken. Hope he wins his big trophy eventually.
>>256514>50 wrestlersThat's like a platoon with attachments and isn't difficult to manage at all.
It's only ~30 now anyway.
>>256514The truth is they never should've tried to rehab Hakuho's rabble in the first place. They're all trash, due to being handpicked by the yokozuna with the most trash hinkaku in sumo history. All of them should be kicked out, immediately. It's only a matter of time until all of them cause more problems for everyone else.
>>256521Teru is shit, they should've cut his head off instead of just his hair. Hakuoho dindu nuffin
>>256521>>256522You are both retarded
New issue of Sumo Magazine is out. This is the 5th consecutive time Dan has been on the cover, thats how thoroughly he is dominating, his performance is so exceptional that it can't be ignored
>>256524anti-danners are bound to be upset by this turn of events
>>256521Is Atamin one of them because I like him
>>256527no
>>256526>anti-dannersThat's like saying Bigfoot is sure to be disappointed by the recent developments in the Middle East.
>You won the bout today, how did you feel?>I am happy.>You lost the bout today, how did you feel?>My body did not move the way I wanted it to.>What are you thinking about tomorrow's bout?>I'm just taking it one day at a time and performing my own style of sumo.Was it autism?
Which Pokémon had the best starters?
Can't find a group pic for this one. :(
>>256534How are there 5 dudes as Yokozuna? Were there like 0 Sanyaku or something?
>>256542Azumafuji retired at the same time as Tochinishiki was promoted. There were only ever four dudes on the banzuke at the same time.
When did the current heya system start? Where these uncs in the black and white pictures making their juniors buttchug like onosato?
>>256544Mid 18th century was when both the heya and kabu systems became formalized.
>>256521Hakuho was a god of hinhaku compared to Asashoryu.
>>256547This, but the opposite.
Dan is the luke skywalker of hinkaku while hakuho is vader
>>256547Outside of sitting in the crowd throwing a tantrum with his arm up that one time, what did Hakuho do that wasn't hinkaku? Calling a monoii on Goeido ain't it because he was within his rights and was actually right.
>>256553CONSTANT late shoves on opponents.>Outside of sitting in the crowd throwing a tantrum with his arm up that one timeYou say that like it wasn't the biggest chimpout ever. It was like spitting in those Oyakata's faces... Just standing there like the biggest faggot while the bow twirler was brought up in front of a packed crowd. Shameful.
>>256532No, it was his style of commenting
>>256504funny, I'd have expected Atami to be slapped instead of Hak, well, I bet he deserved it.
>>256552>Now you will meet with Harumafuji and he will teach you the true nature of hinkaku...
>>256552Asashoryu is Sidious?
>>256553hakuho was a good guy at the start of his career. years of jsa bullshit made him who he is
Looks like Isegahama threw a sake bottle at Hakunofuji at a fucking party with supporters of all the places. It doesn't get more retarded than that.
>>256566>Hakunofuji was stating his opinion about his shikona change to some supporter, and Terunofuji heard that while being drunk and threw sake bottle at himJust my speculation
Please god let the JSA tell Teru his stable has to merge with Miyagino while he learns to be a better behaved oyakata please god it would be so fucking funny.
>>256569nah, let them split, hakunofuji going back to hakuoho and toshinofuji to seihakuho would be funnier.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUqO82FHVOUC H R I S
>>256570Hakunofuji taking Hakuho as his shikona would be way funnier
Hakunofuji to HakuhoYoshinofuji to HarumafujiHoshoryu to Asashoryu>Hakkaku's face reading his morning paper
>>256566>>256567Imagine being enough of a shithead that you draw your master's ire in front of influential sponsors. Dumbass can't read the room, just kick his ass out.
>>256574There's no way that's a legitimate opinion because you're an actual piece of shit if you really think what you just said is acceptable.>"It's your fault that I hit you in public!"That would ACTUALLY get Teru the Hakuho pipeline. You wait until you're in private to deal with people acting like faggots, and even then hitting them is unacceptable. Officially, anyway.
>>256575Don't lie to yourself that Teru is some sperg who acts violently for no reason. Hakunofuji obviously did something retarded that made him deserve it, which is doubly atrocious since he did it in front of sponsors. Absolute disgrace.
>>256566Hakunofuji was probably being a racist, talking about how much he loves Sanseito and hates foreigners for eating all of Japan's rice. Got what he deserved
>>256577If Teru really did do something at a fan club meeting in front of the (sort of) public then Teru's behaviour is actually beyond stupid. That's worse than what got Harumafuji retired. Absolutely nothing Haku could've done would warrant any sort of violent response in public. Don't get mad, get even. Next training session put on a mawashi and give Haku butsukari until he's fucking crying, then spit in his chanko and make sure it's visible.
>>256582It's the exact opposite actually, since Hakuoho (he doesn't have the hinkaku to deserve a -nofuji name) was acting like a shithead, Teru needed to show to the sponsors that he's capable of properly disciplining the shitheads. The actual sponsors understand and wouldn't complain. It's only the whiny shitheads themselves as well as tabloid media who try to make it into a big scandal. The real scandal is that the JSA keeps allowing Hakuho's stench to continue infesting sumo instead of cleaning all of his trash out.
>>256577>Don't lie to yourself that Teru is some sperg who acts violently for no reasonYou're either a mong yourself or new. It's no surprise at all that he would chimp out like a retarded animal.
>>256583>Teru needed to show to the sponsors that he's capable of properly disciplining the shitheadsSo you agree with me that what he's (possibly likely maybe) done is worse than what got Harumafuji retired, okay. Hell the little shitheel that Haru smacked showed way more disrespect than anything Hakunofuji could've done.
>>256587Harumafuji was still an active rikishi, not a stablemaster. Not only was he acting violent towards a fellow rikishi outside of a bout, but he was also overstepping his place by interfering in the affairs of another stable.
>>256588He interfered with the jaw of a little shit showing disrespect to the greatest Yokozuna in history and nothing more. Takanohana should've dogeza'd at Hakuho's feet for his deshi's actions and thanked Harumafuji for disciplining him.
Stop interacting with disingenuous posters
Is Terunofuji already going to get the boot? What a Mongolian retard and further evidence mongols should be kicked out and sent back to their shithole country.
>>256573>Hakkaku's face reading his morning paper
>>256595>nottodisushittyagainu
>>256592the JSA is being extremely lenient or maybe dangerously naïve allowing mongs to continue competing. how many times does this cycle need to repeat itself before all mongs are banned from sumo? asashoryu, harumafuji, terunofuji, ichinojo, hokuseiho, hakuba, mokonami and many other all humiliated themselves and were removed, thats got to be well over 20% of all mongs who brought that fate upon themselves. its time to finally just ban mongolia from sumo
Dan will vanquish the Mongol menace from Japanese shores, Dan is the divine wind, Dan has never lost to a mong, except that one time to kiriSHITma
>>256600had to double check, he lost to tamashoho and kinbozo (honorary mong)
>>256596>Sir, a second violence scandal has hit the newspapers
>>256597Has a European ever done anything verboten? Georgia isn't far away and Tochinoshin once dared to go clubbing (his oyakata did too). Did the Hawaiians ever cause a scandal?
>>256608>Did the Hawaiians ever cause a scandal?Konishiki whined to the press about not getting yokozuna (then lied and said his attendant did it), and Akebono had engagement problems that resulted in his supporters club dissolving. Nothing violence related though.
>>256609>Akebono had engagement problemsArranged marriages you weren't aware of will do that.
>>256608Russians got softbanned because they were all smoking pot at their heyas. Roga only got in because they thought he was a Mongol
>>256611>Russians got softbannedBut they let Shishi and Dan in???
Chris referencing the classic Costanza >2011 meme in his concluding statement, what an absolute CHAD he is for slipping that one in
>>256614Lets get one fucking thing straight here faggot, Chris is a schizophrenic faggot. Yes he puts out consistent content about things we wouldn't normally know about, but that doesn't mean he isn't a schizophrenic faggot who routinely makes shit up.
Its Enhover https://www.sponichi.co.jp/sports/news/2026/02/27/articles/20260227s00005000172000c.html
>>256618Nobehara will pay. Futagoyama MUST pay.
>>256618It never Enbegan.
Will they give Enho a pity promotion on 4-3 the way Kisenosato was given rope?
>>256623Bold of you to assume he'll even get 4 on a busted ankle.
>>256602lol
>>256608Gagamaru and Kokkai got drunk and smashed up an Indian restaurant once. Roho, and Hakurozan got the boot for smoking pot on vacation.Wakanoho was a mess. He got caught with a joint, said he smoked with Tochinoshin, claimed to be involved in match fixing (named Kotooshu among others)Naruto (Kotooshu) has had a few violence problems with rikishi at his stable.
Terunofuji broke Enho's ankle in fit of drunken mong rage as revenge for not adopting Teru's favored suffix
>Teru: MY PREFERRED SUFFIXES ARE FUJI AND NOFUJI, BIGOT!!!
anyone know his beverage of choice?
>>256637Dan
>>256632>IF YOU AREN'T ENHONOFUJI THEN YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME>*slings a glass bottle across the room hitting Hakunofuji*
>>256547
https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/6019966eb418aeb2b3658bd9e80675e473c5c5c2DOUBLE DEMOTION IMMINENT
>>256646Holy kek I was actually shitposting before, but Hakunofuji actually was being a retard and Teru was 100% in the right to slap his shit. Hakunofuji deserves to be suspended until he drops out of sekitori completely.
>>256646>師匠による弟子への暴力行為は極めて異例>[pause for laughter]
>>256646>According to multiple sources, before the Spring Grand Sumo Tournament rankings were announced on the 24th, a drunk Hakunofuji harassed a woman at a bar, and in a fit of rage, Isegahama Oyakata assaulted him.
>>256649plausible
kek redditors btfo. those faggots literally act like Hakunofuji is a innocent cuddly teddy bear and not a dumb jock rapist.
Your face when you're getting your own ichimon as well as a crew of young joi & sanyaku level training partners for your new yokozuna and its all because mongs are hopelessly uncivilized drunken barbarians
>>256654>hopelessly uncivilized drunken barbariansDo you know about Ukrainians?
>>256654>all because mongs are hopelessly uncivilized drunken barbariansLiterally the opposite though. Entitled university faggot tried to get fresh with a lady, and the yokozuna opened a bottle of hinkaku on his punk ass.... the fact that Terunofuji was drunk at the time was pure coincidence.
So a disciple of Hakuho tried to rape a waitress. What a fucking spoiled punk. He should be forced to retire and go get heemed in RIZIN like the nepobaby silverspoon faggot he is.
>>256649BEAST OF REIWA
>>256646>>256647>>256649>>256657Hakuoho was flirting with a girl and Terunofuji simped out on him from jealousy.
Teru got mogged and his cortisol spiked.
>Hakuoho raped a waitress >300kg Atamifuji ate a waitress which is worse?
>>256663Women consider rape to be a worse crime than murder, so Atamifuji did nothing wrong he's just a hungry growing lad.
>>256663Nothing is worse than rape.
>>256664Anyone should. It is worse.
>>256666>a penis going in a vagina>half the time women are aroused by it because they are evolutionarily designed to enjoy rape>worse than being literally dead
>>256667women are evolved to die also
Everything is worse than being dead. Death is nothingness.
>>256670Then kill yourself faggot.
>>256670zen slop
>>256670So is dreamless sleep. It's no biggy. Rape is the worst thing in the world. Hakuho is a disgrace who should be forced to retire.
>>256673Hakuho has been retired for half a decade, retard.
>>256667Okay, assuming they are in that 50% they then live the rest of their life completely fucked up from the struggle of trying to square the fact that they enjoyed it with the fact that it was a horrifying experience of powerlessness. You're a fucking moron.
>>256671You first, bud.
>>256675>Okay, assuming they are in that 50% they then live the rest of their life completely fucked upCalm down you histrionic cunt. A few minutes of getting fucked isn't something that changes the rest of your life.
>>256672Keep saying that, but it's not going to get the taste of your priests balls out of your mouth.
>>256677Please film yourself telling that to your mother.
>>256679Rape alarmists love abortion so why don't you get one of those? Also pregnancy rapes are like 0.01%, statistically insignificant.
Hakuōhō is a disgrace who should be forced to retire.
>>256680>Has no leg to stand on so he completely changes the subject.Neville detected.
>>256681There is no rikishi on the banzuke by that name.
>>256683>Use my preferred pronouns
Zero tolerance for violence against women. Get this faggot out of here now.
>Someone who isn't Chad flirted with me, this is literally rape!
Hakunofuji should be beaten, held down, and sodomized with a sake bottle so he knows what it is like to be a vulnerable woman.
>What no pussy does to Terunofuji
I've never been in the same room as a wet pussy and I've never raped someone. Surely a pro athlete could manage it.
>>256689>I've never been in the same room as a wet pussyThat much was obvious.
new>>256691>>256691>>256691
>>256647Is getting drunk and hitting on the rich donors to the stable really worthy of getting a bottle thrown at you?
Yup.
Zero tolerance for violence against rikishi. Get this faggot out of here now.
>>256649Man what a twist. Terunofuji is actually pretty based
I always thought Hakuoho had an aggressive cut to his jib.
>>256649>You're at a bar, having a quiet drink with your girlfriend>A group of sweaty rikishi enters the establishment>They all smell like greasy ramen>This guy slaps your girlfriend's buttWhat's your next move?
>>256714get NTR'd
Can someone post the webm of Takakeisho taking 5 business days to sit down on his cushion?
>>256716
>>256714>What's your next move?
>>256717Thanks
>>256718Haven't seen anyone tsuridashi a 9mm yet, just saying.
Been watching Chris' vids for a fair bit, but have they always felt this propagand-y?His coverage of info is generally good but for a while at least it felt as if they were loaded with particular sentiments towards topics, who does this man have a bone to pick with?
>>256731all of the current board members.
>>256731Anyone he perceives a disagreement with.He left Sumoforums over a decade ago after he asked for critique on the sumo book he was writing. And then had a massive sperg out when people had critiques.
