Dan goes to Paris edition >Banzuke:http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspxhttps://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/>Fight Schedule & Results:https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoMain/torikumi/1/1/>Some sumo links and how to watch live:https://rentry.org/uwbgc88dprevious thread >>262614
2nd for Hosh will never win a yusho as Yokozuna.
He already did chud
>>263566
>>263566He will redeem the yusho. I believe.
>>263566I berieve in him.
>>263566>onosato still injured>dan is gonna play safe to score the 10 wins>kirishima has never gone above 9 wins in nagoya>zak is gonna secure his demotion>wakatakakage will choke his ozeki run againThe stars have aligned for him like 4 times in a row now. He'll get it.
Is FutaGoyKing in Paris with Russian Koga?
The only Russian Koga was Orora, really.
>>263578Toлcтый.
Good to see my filter putting in the work.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Fx2G1hbVlrw>kiai yo!
Paris in 2 days! Do we know which of the usual suspects are restreaming? Anyone without commentary would be fine imo.
I'm just going to catch a France.tv stream on a sports streaming site. Seems the easiest option.
>>263584Hm. i still have a DAZN profile from London, but I don't think they're in for Paris. I'm guessing you mean one of those sites that stream soccer and the like? Never seen sumo there.
>>263585Yes, it's airing free on French television, so any site that streams TV, really.
>>263586man they can't stream it to my country, have to do vpn shit if i want to watch it there
>>263587Yeah, same here or else I wouldn't've asked.
Might have to try Firefox's new vpn for this
>>263575>day 1 vs yoshinofuji>rolls his ankleThe evil spirits smirk
>>263559What do you think zak's being told here
>>263592Fresh bread is a thing of beauty and France does it best.
>>263592This is full headcanon but Onosato looks a lot more relaxed than usual in these photos. Maybe the dude is quiet quitting for real
>>263614That's what pussy does to a man
>>263603I think it's the opposite. He's telling his dad about his knee injury.
>>263614He's a big guy who loves food. Of course he's happy munching on some new food he's never tried before
パン
>>263608Neat.
>>263614Dude just took 6 months off work and got paid the whole time, no fucking wonder.
Will KiriSHITma really be promoted to yokozuna if he wins the Paris basho? what about on a JY?
>>263641Please go away.
>>263641Its just jungyo, not real basho. You won't be seeing any good sumo in there.
>>263644>London>The first three matches were lift outs>Even fucking Shishi did oneGod at least TRY. IIRC Kirishitma and WTK seemed to put some effort into their matches. Maybe 90% instead of the usual jungyo 75%.
>>263644He knows that, don't feed him.
What's the Tsuridashi over/under
>>263647Ask your mom, she invented it.
>>263647It's 100%. Maybe if you wanna narrow it down to within the first 10 fights or something.
>>263644Maybe they remembered the lesson they learned from London day 1 and staged the matches less.I don't have any disillusions of it being anywhere close to a real basho, I just pray it'll be fun to watch.
>>263649I think anon means how many total
>>263652Too fucking many.
>>263652Yeah... 100%, all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAc9QD78TSo
>>263660Damn that's a lot of third worlders.
>>263661Yeah they can afford to travel all over the world, such third world
>>263660Man, Paris looks filthy as fuck.
>>263684Always has
>>263662Yes? Air travel wasn't invented yesterday.
>>263684What? I mean... it is, but what in that picture screams filth to you? It's just stone, trees, metal and people.
>>263686>all content promoting sumo must be as sterile as possible>every other sentence must end with "please support me, i will do my best"thanks jsa
>>263697I guess thats why beya-slop is so appealing. You get to see the wrestlers be themselves instead of>I'm gonna take it one day at a time yoroshiku onegai shimasu
>>263698My god put some fucking socks on at least, you can lose toes doing that shit.
Hell yeah
The french anthem mogs the jap one so hard.
Did it start?
>>263702
>>263703>>263702https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k_4gzmyZes
>>263703>>263704Danke
>>263704Thank god it's in a much better suited arena than London was.
There's also Polish women's sumo on apparently.
>>263707
How long is this fucking song?
Not long enough.
There are tears rolling down my cheeks.
I don't remember there being shokkiri in London.
>humour, japan
Is there really no sumo-adjacent nip with better English than Hiro?
God these kids are stupid.
>Asakoryu bullying a child.
>The child most willing to be aggressive is the black one
>>263716He didn't know what he was supposed to do and suddenly he was in the middle of an arena with a bunch of jacked Japs pushing him around. Just panicked, lol.
Take a drink every time Hiro says "pint sized".
Does france.tv have any audio options for english or am I stuck listening to fr*nch?
>>263723I'd rather hear french than Hiro.
Is this on any french tv channels? rip stream
>>263724By the looks of it now we're not hearing either
>>263723>>263724Switch streams.
>>263725Should be on France3.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evYyNOdsCxI
Kotoeiho a ham.
L'uwatenage.
If this SB Design retard could stop kwabbing his stream that'd be great.
Can the French do literally anything right at all?
>>263733What's your problem? Working fine for me.
For me? It's l'enka.
Certainly showing more spirit than London. Still obviously hanazumo to this fan's eye, but could easily look good to the uninitiated.
Is Tobi going to insist on going 4-0 again because he's an attention whore?
>>263735le henka because the h isn't silent.
>>263738Do the French pronounce "h" at the start of words? I ain't hearing them do it.>'akunofuji
>>263739Only some of them. It's more implied than pronounced.
And there it is. Of course it's Kinbozan.
>Kinbozan defeats Mitakeumi by tsuridashi.
>OH LA LA YORIKIRI
These fake belt fights are so gay. Do some fatslap.
>thes es Abby, le giant killa
>>263745*L'Abby
Looked like Abi did that for real, nice.
He seems so tired and confused.
>honhonhonbasho
>>263749jej
Are they setting up a Tamawashi revenge henka?
>>263751Nope, lol.
Shishi went on before the gyoji was even set. What goes on in that skull of his?
>Gunbai to the side>Shishi goes
He's so back!
>>263753He looks tired as fuck.
>>263718
Why is Hosh fighting lil Koto bro?
How come maegashitters are facing off after a yokozuna match
another yorikiri
>>263760They seem very excited by these "yorikiri" lol
>>263759I believe it's a round-robin format.
>>263762> roundthat part is doubtlessly correct
>>263737Nope
>>263767This shokkiri is great.
LAMOGUS
ABI!!!
JE SUIS ABIIII
Hmm... Fujinokawa pulled something there.
>amateur shrimpanswtf these bitches aren't even on the shrimpman committee
WMH can't help but try and kill people.
>>263774I wish I was as cool as him.
>manlet vs manlethad to put on my reading glasses to watch that one
Oho would destroy Koga if they ever faced off
>>263776
>>263778Suddenly Jojolion
>>263777Thank you for your service, Captain Obvious.
That hag's outfit behind the on deck gyoji is almost as revealing as Wakamotoharu's
>>263781Have you come out to your parents yet?
that was probably tom's last ever shot at a kinboshi.
>>263700This just feels so wrong.
>>263783Why are you so far behind?
>Aonishiki defeats Churanoumi by Tsuridashi.
That yankee hair on the yobidashi is primo
kman dan do a fakkin uchimuso
X-DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
>vain queer
Dantomodachis…we are so back
One of the best fights yet. Almost looked real. So far Abi is the realest fighter.
>>263792Wait until your slowpoke ass gets to the Abi-Fujinokawa match, lol
>>263794Yeah that was pretty lame. Could be explained as Fuji not trying though.
>>263795Fair, Fujinokawa did tweak something.
Wakamotoharu definitely not pulling punches with his Tachiais
LMAO
Onosato lost LMAO
Ahahaha, you get utchari'd, and you get utchari'd... everyone gets utchari'd!!!!
>walk forward>w-ACK
>Injure Dan before May>Injure Kirishima mid-May>Go off script and eliminate Onosato from ParisThis man exists to spite anyone who threatens WTK's yushos.
can wakatakakoga get promoted to ozeki if he wins here?
>>263804Yes this is a real basho and will affect the banzuke.
>>263804He could have with a zensho, but he already lost.
who's that in the tunnel when kotozakura does his warm up?
>>263807la compagne lesbienne
That was not a torinaoshi....
lmao abi
Abi learning from the great Moriurara
>>263811Still the best Kisenosato break of character.
Say his name.>Byambachuluun Lkhagvasuren
Whoever put this schedule together should be shot.
Abi Kiri Final like we were all expecting
They took everything they learned from the London event and did the opposite.
ZAK = BACK
Is that Akua doing the bow twirling? Does he usually do that?
>>263821He's been the twirler for many a basho.
>>263822Huh... I knew it must have been someone from the Yokozuna's stable, but I never realized it was him until now. Neat.
>>263823It switches between Akua, Kamito and some others
Has a Yokozuna ever been a former bow twirler?
>>263825Not to my knowledge. Most never even make it to Makuuchi.
I'm just now catching up on Paris, during the children's practice demo, that taller of the 3 kids in the black shorts was legit going for a leg throw on my boy Tankanosho. Kid's got that spirit in him.
>>263828If you told me that was Konishiki in the back I'd do a double take.
>>263829That was Konishiki in the back.
So how does this format work? What exactly did Zak win today?
>>263825Tanikaze
>>263833>Debuted at OzekiAncient sumo was a joke.
>>263833Sort of. He was Yokozuna first.
>>263832standard bracket bracket format from what I gathered. Tomorrow it's probably gonna be the same with different seeding
>>263837If that's the case they must have given first round byes for certain ranks because Hoshoryu's first match was Kotoeiho's second.
>>263838Not sure but maybe the Sanyaku got byes
>>263839That would make sense.
>>263841Imagine going back 10 years and telling Dan that by 2026 he'd weight 150kg.
>>263707imagine the grip
>'L'ichiyamamoto
>try to watch replay on the france public tv site>"you need to disable your ad blocker to watch">literally do not even have one on this machineand these idiots wonder why we watch third party broadcasts
>>263852Works fine in Chrome, and I DO have an adblocker, lol.
>>263853>Chrome in current year
>>263854If it ain't broke....
any torrent out there for the full event?
>>263857https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k_4gzmyZesDownload this if you want the vod
>>263858I think anon is looking for a different source of the full broadcast, as much as I appreciate SB uploading a vod their stream kept crapping out and there's so many fucking ads that seem like they were put in by whatever streaming service they were using. Might as well just watch a highlight reel like this.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kjkiI4Iv-U
>>263858I want this but with better quality and no watermarks basically. How did the English do so much better production wise?>>263863Thanks for the analysis I didn't watch this one
Has anyone ever heard/read if there's criteria that determine how many days an exhibition tournament will be? Do you reckon it's mostly to do with the venue's availability / cost?
This exhibition is lame. At least have the decency to rig it so the Yokozuna win.
>>263875Jungyous are lame af. in japan it's basically women who are keeping it alive and buying most tickets. It's just an entertainment, like a circus so utterly boring
>>263876Retard. Jungyo has always been for the fan service stuff, not the sumo.
>>263864>and no watermarksEven the official France.TV broadcast had watermarks. I think you're asking for something that doesn't exist.
Did day 2 start yet?
>>263883Yes. The kids are back.
>>263883The introduction stuff, not the sumo.
Matches are beginning.
>>263878No. It's just a promotion, that's it and that's why it's boring af and NSK gets more money obviously.
>>263889Yes... a promotional event where there are wrestlers milling about and doing Q&As and autographs and whatnot. That's the fan service stuff.
le takayasu du paris
Onosato lost again before semi-finals...
Daieisho a bull.
MONKEY
Someone threw a pillow, lol.
ZAK WINS! Kadoban no more!
>>263900>pictured: Kotozakura's final days as an ozeki
>>263903Because he's going to get the rope, right?... right?
>>263904yeah i got some ropes for him to take right here
>sport is called fatslap>all they do is fight on the belt
Some of those bouts seemed almost realBetter acting than in London
>>263914Same as last year, Kirishitma and WTK are willing to go the extra mile to make Ozumo look cool to gaijin. WMH was willing to risk everyone's necks with utcharis too. I just wish everyone in a tsuridashi match a painful asshole after their next spicy chanko.
Paris had more arm dangling than Hokuseiho's heyday. Shameful.
Lot of BL fanservice in the May basho.
https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2026-06-12/jaadugar-a-witch-in-mongolia-anime-casts-mongolian-sumo-wrestlers-tamawashi-tamashoho/.238452https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sfpsqVQ49wTamawashi is being cast as Genghis Khan in a television anime series airing this July.
>>263942>best thing to see in mongolia?>uhmm...sky and stars
>>263960>Did I ever tell you about Ghengis Khan?
>>263962
>>263960Hey, there's lots of steppe too
>>263985How is Mongolia not a world leading farming nation with that much flat grassland? Is it all just dogshit quality ground? Is being landlocked a dealbreaker?
>Mongolia is mostly not arable. Less than 1% of the country's total land area is suited for crop production due to its extreme, arid climate and mountainous terrain. Instead, the vast majority of its agricultural land (over 99%) consists of permanent pastureslmao
>>263990its all short grass and moss, nobody is farming anything on that wasteland
>>263993Back in my day the Mongs farmed yusho.
The mongolia episode of the grand tour is one of the best but it really is an empty, dreary hellhole I mean, its sat next to china for millenium and at no point did anyone actually want that land
>>263962>>263980>Tamawashi was the man they picked to voice Genghis Khan>NOT Hoshoryu>NOT Kirishima>NOT any of the other mongolians in makuuchiTamawashi confirmed as the most important Mongolian in sumo and the true representative of his people. I for one look forward to his retirement from sumo and promising new career as a seiyuu.
>>264001counterpoint:they would've had to pay a higher ranker morealso Tamawashi has been going at it for long enough that even people who haven't followed sumo in 15 years will recognize him
Someone actually literally explain how Atamifuji can see when his eyes look like Brock from Pokemon.
Sumo invented the hydration break before soccer copied it
Has Kotozakura not considered simply eating the other rikishi
>>264017
>all of these highly accomplished and loved athletes are younger than me>most of them have children>34 and i've never had a gf
>>264001Hakuho must be seething
>>264022it's never too late to get really fucking fat and get diabetes anon
>>264022You'd be surprised how many historical figures only because historical in their 40s and 50s.Gambarize your style of living and heal your spirit on the dohyo of life. Take it day by day and keep moving forwards. You won't win going backwards or standing still, you know.
>>264022Tolkien only started writing at 38.
>>264025>heal your spirit on the dohyo of lifeTakakeisho's neck would like a word
>>264025What is the chanko of life and the shiko of life then?
>>264032Ass and titty.
>>264022harrison ford was a carpenter in to his late 30s
Jesus was a carpenter until his early 30s.
>>264037>>264038There is an untapped niche in the Jesus-Harrison Ford pipeline for carpenters in their mid 30s.
>>264038he was already healing cripples and resurrecting people as a kid *allegedly*
>>264032>ChankoWine in a beer stein>ShikoI'm still searching for that one. Focus on each bout (against life) and find it along the way.
Trying to get into this, is there a video on YT or some forum of guide that'll get me the basics and understandings of this the best? And how to start watching?Oh I just saw the sticky for that part. Should I just go into it raw without knowing the general rules or try and learn some first?
>>264048https://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/tv/sumo/sumopedia/
>>264049Arigato!
>>264050Hakkeyoi!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki4WaTTu828Shodai made me lol
Finally caught up with the paris shit.Some actually decent matches, and whoever threw the pillow is giga based
>>264054I'm actually curious. Does anything happen to pillow throwers in regular bashos?Like do they have staff keeping an eye on the venue lookin gat people who threw and what seats the occupied and does anything actually happen?
>>264055If it's just one or two people tossing stuff for no reason then they'll get kicked out and probably blackballed. But if everyone is doing it then they won't bother. The "please don't throw your zabuton" announcement is to prevent liability in case someone gets injured by someone else throwing one.
>>264055Not that we know of. Just that they have been nailing the cushions down in some locations for the last year or two.
>>264048Remember that first and foremost Ozumo is a religious Shinto ceremony and not a sport, even if you can treat it as such. Go watch some yusho (tournament (basho) wins) of Yokozuna. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_yokozuna
>>264061>Remember that first and foremost Ozumo is a religious Shinto ceremony and not a sportTokyo sumo was based in Buddhist temples actually, specifically the Eko-in temple in Ryogoku, which is also where the first Kokugikan was built (originally called the Shobukan).
>>264063All formal Buddhism is a LARP.>Hmmm we aren't attached to anything, what should we do?>I know, lets build a temple to prove we aren't attached to anything!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9Vt6NGBVBc
>>264025>>264029>>264037Yeah but see I'm likely going to be back here making the same post when I'm 40.
>>264066You should try executing your brand of living and taking it one day at a time.
>>264067That's what I've been doing for the last 10 years. I go work then I go home then stay home until I go work.
>>264068I drink beer, play video games, play the guitar/piano, and sometimes buy Lego :3c
>>264068I would suggest learning to tie all sorts of knots. That way, there will be one of two outcomes: either you will meet a kinky girl who is into shibari and be happy, or you will know how to tie a noose and end your miserable existence and be happy.
>>264065So the shinto rituals were added as a sort of larp grift, Interesting video.
>>264059My boy didn't deserve this :(
>>264071More like re-introduced after sumo drifted away from its roots, but yes, basically. Although since they were added a couple hundred years ago, I think it's still fair to call them traditions.
Zak is gonna go 8-7 in July and you're gonna seethe as he holds rank AGAIN.
>>263828man, Ura's lost a lot of weight, hasn't he?
