>be me 30m>have first gf, going on 8 months>meet another girl through a friend>she is pretty>she obviously likes me (probably the first time I've been confident I could ask a girl out successfully)>start falling for her>brain spends the next few days going into overdrive trying to work out how I can make it work with this new girlThis has happened before and I find that I can get over it after a few days. But is this the curse of being a man? Is this what it's like being hitched? It's extremely painful and will cause nothing but trouble.This girl in particular seems attainable and my imagination is telling me she would be a great match for me, and thinking of the qualities she has that I like, that my gf doesn't.And then my current gf, I mean I like her enough but the excitement has faded. I'm often fighting with a desire to leave; I have a few misgivings about her and the relationship but I think it's just as much a fear of commitment and a desire to see what else I could get, now that I have some confidence that I can actually get a girl. I think the biggest reason I haven't and don't is because I almost feel trapped. Not in any nefarious way but just because she likes me so much - she's chinese and they seem to be like as soon as you're dating it's super serious and you're getting ready for marriage. I've met all her family and friends and she talks excitedly as if getting married and having kids is a foregone conclusion. I think breaking up would break her.In this particular situation I know I can't just kick my current gf to the curb because another girl has taken my fancy. It's a matter of honor and integrity.I've been thinking that this is the challenge you have to deal with once you become committed to someone. I have to imagine it will happen no matter who you end up with, every so often you'll meet someone and the monkey brain does its thing. But it seems a true man holds steadfast to his commitments regardless how eager he is to do so.
After since the death of my grandmother I have a hard time having as much hope as I did with getting a girlfriend in the past. I feel more in a celibate asexual not want to be bothered with sex and romance as I get older.
>>32339110>But is this the curse of being a man? Is this what it's like being hitched?It's cruel to force another person to be "everything" to you, when they are not on a level of personal integration to live up to that.For example you wouldn't call your GF a cheating ho for buying groceries off someone else; making you two eat some other MAN's potatoes!So consider why exactly you are cussing yourself out and if that isn't just due to some sloppy reasoning on your part.>In this particular situation I know I can't just kick my current gf to the curb because another girl has taken my fancy.But to NOT kick your gf to the curb, just because another girl has taken your fancy, is also wrong.>monkey brain does its thingThis is a thought-stopping cliche. Cowardly way to pretend to reason while avoiding it.>But it seems a true man holds steadfast to his commitmentsThe commitments to himself, first and foremost.Idc what you do, but please be more sincere, more transparent with yourself, so you can improve your reasoning process.I'm not a therapist or a mediator, I just do my best sharing logic tips.There will soon be plenty of reddit refugees advising to stay or leave in your thread, dw lol
>>32339110All you need to know is men in a relationship are more attractive than single men, whether or not the girl who's interested in you knows you're taken. It's entirely subconscious on both ends. If you leave your current GF for her it probably won't work out unless she's actually made a move on you, like a real move.>>32339143>WORDS WORDS WORDSShut the fuck up you insufferable faggot I just told OP everything he needs to know
>>32339110Stay with your girlfriend, you answered your own doubts within your text. Yes, you can get attracted to others at times, but that shouldn't put you two appart.
>>32339110>But is this the curse of being a man?no, this is the exact opposite of being a man: look at you unable to be a good partner by getting distracted, straying, and being easily led by your (lmao) emotions. if you want to break up to pursue someone else, do it (and good luck, because it never works out the way you fantasize about it). but don't hem and haw while wringing your hands about it.
>>32339153>Shut the fuck up you insufferable faggot I just told OP everything he needs to knowI won't be taking you up on that offer, Mr. Shillengoy.
>>32339110Yep. They always come at once. You either get all, or none, never just the one.
Be loyal to the one that gave you a chance to begin with unless she gives you reason not to be
Not OP but similar boat, I asked my almost 10 year younger roomate if she wants to drink wine before she moves away next month, she said yes immediately, and I can tell her interest has been piqued since I got a girlfriend… what gives??
>>32339567In your case she might just want free booze. It is possible to drink with a friend and not have sex with them.
>>32339585Its possible but see>>32339480then again even if she’s down ill probably fumble
