>Labour to announce implement HUGE benefit rises of 500% - but only for pakis
>Keir Starmer: This is the morally correct decision

poo

I'M THE START OF THE SHOW

KNEEL BEFORE ME

this morning's bedtime kino
https://youtu.be/IdTDr0VH1aU?si=mTdvG8NeCsUVl_wW

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he was like

>oh this one is mint i'm gonna save that for the new

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>>196462153

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Where are you kraveanon? I know you've got something to admit to me

>>196462175
and he had a typo

do you enjoy going to cafes?

getting a latte in the morning?

got called toxic in willys

Had a dream that his majesty was having a beer with me at my place and then he started going through my book collection and going on about how shit it is.

>>196462153
announcing implement are they

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>>196462153

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>>196462175

>>196462121
It's completely worth mentioning
You don't have to vote for either

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>>196462192
Occasionally on my virgin walks about the town I will stop in for a coffee then sit there for a few hours.

Got the miso soup on

>>196462192
I do in fact
very good cafe culture here

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/Brit/ is my toybox and you're all my dolls

>>196462192
Yeah
Prefer a cappuccino in the morning

>BREAKING: Spain will be QUARANTINED by the LAbour goverment, should they win the General Election
>Starmer: We heard they've got Spainnonce germs

>>196462241
all me

>>196462220
What boots are those?

business idea: euthanasia but you get to choose your own mode of death
I'd like to get blown to bits with C4

>>196462200
sounds like something he'd do

>>196462225
I hate all that gook shit

Memory of the first time I had a cappuccino in a shopping centre that's now being ripped down

>>196462220
Penis POV?

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just made this psot

>>196462243
do you get it with the choccy powder

>>196462259
reckon you can diy suicide at any time mate

>>196462220
getting the ick imagining you posing your legs for this pic in the most nonchalant seeming way, taking a couple of pics and looking at them, rearranging the cup and twisting your feet a little and going back to take another

>>196462262
Lovely stuff

>>196462257
These but they don't make them in black anymore, just had a look:

https://www.panamajackshop.com/uk/en/man/gael-c9

Also they don't ship to the UK anymore since brexit so you may in fact have a very hard time getting these boots.

>BREAKING: Labour have just announced a statue of Mahatma Ghandi to be erected outside Wemblet
>Starmer: His sacrifice made the world a better place for the most important people, pakis

>>196462274
condolences to you for your lost shopping centre

>>196462303
Thought the same thing honestly lad, he seems like a creep, grim

had a dream i was playing for a good spanish football team
remember saying to the manager that i'm shite but i can run about a lot

>>196462259
Bike helmet filled with high explosive
If you did it right the blastwave would be faster than any nerve signal

>>196462303
holy projecto batman!

mental how weebl's stuff is still making videos in 2024

>>196462214
this might come as a great shock to you but there's only two parties that will ever win and nothing will ever change that because half the country can't even be arsed to vote

>>196462316
>Mahatma Ghandi to be erected outside Wemblet
he was also erect in your mum's bed back in the day

He’s replying to himself again

>>196462340
had a dream with snoop dogg in it the other day

>>196462303
kek i get the same vibe, made me cringe ngl

>Labour have just discovered oil inside a pakis arse
>Starmer: I'll drill into it myself

>>196462285
Of course
Sometimes an italian biscuit

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>>196462303
Got to consider the composition.

>>196462249
watched this all the time as a kid, Lois was hot

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>>196462380
ok this one wasn't bad tbf

Top 30 British expressions:

1. Right, what’s all this then?
2. Don’t get your knickers in a twist
3. All gone pear-shaped
4. I’m in a bit of a pickle
5. It’s not my cup of tea
6. I’m chuffed to bits
7. I’m full of beans
8. Happy as Larry
9. What a load of…
10. He’s off his trolley
11. On your bike, mate
12. Absolutely trolleyed
13. It’s the bee’s knees
14. Bob’s your uncle
15. Knackered / cream-crackered
16. It never rains but it pours
17. It is what it is
18. Off you trot
19. Living the dream
20. Have a good one
21. Lovely jubbly
22. I was stood/sat there, right, and…
23. Wind your neck in
24. Right, we’d better make a move
25. Bloody hell
26. Oi oi!
27. I beg your pardon
28. Sorry about all this
29. Blimey / Crikey
30. I’ll put the kettle on

took the day off for my birthday. watching frasier in bed with a cup of tea. might fry a few eggs in a bit. living the dream.

>>196462363
Yeah, so? Doesn't mean you have to vote for either

>>196462381
good lad
you know when you order a cappucino in america they don't give you the choccy powder
it's madness

>>196462415
How many eggs?

>BREAKING: Pakis discovered on the moon
>Starmer: Today I am pleased to announce the UK finally will have a space program

>>196462396
She was spectacular

>>196462415
>eggs
what are you going to have with them lad?

Crazy how fucking fit they are at that age

>>196462415
happy birthday mate, good to look after yourself like that. Have a good one

no bread in
might go to a cafe and get a pastry and coffee

>>196462433
i'm thinking three

>>196462450
the age in question?

>>196462420
no but if I don't vote for either I might as well not vote at all

>>196462415
Yooouuu and tony egg again

Never in my life have I had one of those fancy Starbucks coffees filled with sugar syrup and all that. None of your mappa frappa vanilla mochachinos for me; there's nothing wrong with a normal white coffee. These dessert coffees contain like 50g sugar a pop as well.

Got back acne

anyway thats my labour gimmick! hope youve all enjoyed yourselds

>>196462450
sending this to the manager of the nursing home that you work at

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on the train

>>196462439
got some nice sausages in the fridge

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>>196462492
based

>>196462461
Birthday lad? I'm thinking 4+

>>196462415
TOSSED SALAD AND SCRAMBLED EGGSSSSSS

jaundiced mf

>>196462409
Love 22

might try sending my undwear cleaning bill to Xhamster

>>196462482
i get black coffee me
don't care for coffee but developed the taste for black coffee cos uni exams back in the day
it's one of those things

>15 years ago
fuck this has unlocked a whole bunch of memories, the 'random humour' era
https://youtu.be/JtLMzIOlmbs?list=PL7C82E21EF966730F

10AM and this cunt's still in bed

day is nearly over. You've wasted your day off. The morrow's toil already looming like a loud foghorn.

>>196462468
Frees up some time doesn't it?

>>196462482
the only one I've ever enjoyed is the eggnog one, besides that it's just a straight latte for me

*slaps hands down on knees*

Right, I'm off

>>196462541
LOl
THIS IS ME

>>196462482
for me it’s instant coffee with a dash of milk

>>196462492
cut your nails you freak

>>196462497
sausages and eggs? that's what I shoulda had

>>196462512
QUITE STYLISH

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>>196462492
>>196462510
samesies

got called gay

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Can't imagine being arsed to vote

Perfectly beautiful missus upstairs yet I just wanted to jessy Dubai nailing a guy and a girl at the same time.
What am I like aha

Mhhhm heated up adrenaline bean juice

>>196462575
lovely rendition of the New Trainers gimmick there

you saw the opportunity in the wild and went for it. Excellent stuff. Organic.

>>196462415
I used to do this but it got boring so now I just work on my birthday and don't even tell any colleagues

>>196462575
ermpalthoseareyourshoes

>>196462583
a bizarre larper

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I want a divorce /brit/

You've changed

>>196462583
porn sick moid soon you’ll troon out

>>196462575
adam looking fresh

>>196462560
Scandis aren't human

>>196462249
>cream 4 sugars
why are they like this

>>196462577
in wimpy?

>>196462524
Taylor writing songs about how this will never be her because she knows she's ruined any chance for real love and will probably die from an overdose of the prescription drugs she's been given so she can stand up straight without fainting as she tours in support of her 50th anniversary compilation

>>196462609
bizarre news story

>>196462579
I usually wander in slightly drunk about 10 minutes before voting closes and scribble a cock on a ballot

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>Been off the toil all week
>gone to spoons every day at 11am and come home drunk at 5pm

Doing the same today

Morning de lads. Going to dentist soon to get a cap/crown fitted on my tooth. On a 12 hour fast too so no eating until 13:00pm

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>>196462629

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>On May 5, 1945, six civilians were killed near Bly, Oregon, when they discovered one of the balloon bombs in Fremont National Forest, becoming the only fatalities from Axis action in the continental U.S. during the war.[50][51] Reverend Archie Mitchell and his pregnant wife Elsie (age 26) drove up Gearhart Mountain that day with five of their Sunday school students for a picnic. While Archie was parking the car, Elsie and the children discovered a balloon and carriage, loaded with an anti-personnel bomb, on the ground. A large explosion occurred; the four boys (Edward Engen, 13; Jay Gifford, 13; Dick Patzke, 14; and Sherman Shoemaker, 11) were killed instantly, while Elsie and Joan Patzke (13) died from their wounds shortly afterwards.[52] An Army investigation concluded that the bomb had likely been kicked or dropped, and that it had lain undisturbed for about one month before the incident.[28] The U.S. press blackout was lifted on May 22 so the public could be warned of the balloon threat.

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scraaaaaaaaaaaaan

>>196462620
just don’t care, want my reggo each morning

>>196462636
how indescribably grim for you

This is a UKF exclusive

>>196462579
*gives you a $20 fine*

>>196462677
looks like thick cold poo

>>196462648
>big titted whore with hundreds of acres of land mad that children want to play on it

>>196462677
bloody hell

>>196462677
They really are disgusting animals

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There are no straight lines.
It's a commentary on technology and how it is designed.
What is it saying.

>>196462677
2 please

>>196462677
Fucking hell
How much does this cost?

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once at uni I decided to get a coffee before a lecture despite having already had my morning coffee with breakfast

then I sat in my lecture absolutely gakked like sweating, having palpitations and feeling extremely agitated. Swear she must have put a pinch of speed in that coffee because never before or since has simply having 2 coffees caused that reaction

>>196462648
I'd love to irrigate her garden

16 and completely bald still

Got a burger for dinner from a fish and chip shop
Do you get those at your chippie?

>>196462729
haha mental

>>196462677
seen this many times, only just noticed 263g of sugar. how is that even legal

>>196462729
gayboy

>>196462648
Article doesn't mention the fact that she's 10 feet tall and in a Oscar Wilde short story

>>196462636
that's so grim

>>196462757
Where, in America?

me?
voted for the 'ip in 2015
reason was that my seat was a safe tory seat
so it was a protest vote, or more - a vote so let em know i'm FULLY pakis out
then? leave.
then? nowt.
then?
nowt AGAIN
reason was tories were gonna win them ennit
but then?
i mean, but next?
it's gonna be reform for me
as they wont win but i wont vote labour and tory? PAH! never
yep. i think it's safe to say i'm based as anythjign

>>196462745
sexoooooo

going to a normscum engagement party tomorrow

tryin' to get some pie
i don't care
what's inside it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXJrnkwRv64&list=PL7C82E21EF966730F&index=44

>seasideMARK ordered a new PlayStation 5 from EE
>Box comes unsealed

He's absolutely fuming. He paid for a new product. It should be new.

>>196462768
Good lad

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Summer just won’t fucking arrive, almost May and the trees haven’t even begun sprouting buds yet

Grim life

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job interview next week and I just know I'll get the job because I'm very intelligent and good at interviewing but I don't want the job I don't want to have to work again arghhhhh FUCK WORK

>>196462757
Don't creme eggs have like 10 spoons of sugar in them?

after years of careful examination I've come to the realisation that jutting, conically-shaped breasts, colloquially known as "rocket" or "torpedo" breasts, are the most aesthetically pleasing and therefore best breast shape regardless of size

*does a gay porn dance*

>The power-sharing deal between the SNP and Greens in Scotland has collapsed
It has begun

>>196462812
Feel that la, only reason I've put off applying is I know I'll get a job I don't want

>>196462787
>unsealed PS5 on the 2nd hand market

30% chance it's one that he has personally owned before.

>>196462812
Better to have money mate.

brapped fanny is BACK

sorry, i mean he's ACK

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this is my world today

>>196462829
Give us some examples lad

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>>196462807
Consensual sex with Anya Taylor-Joy. Cuddling and kissing an Anya Taylor-Joy girlfriend.

Would let shamima begum peg me lol

>>196462815
26g apparently, so about 6 spoons. A lot mind you, but that drink is 10 times that

>>196462807
where's this pic of her from
she's not usually dressed so lushly

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>>196462873

hit the road, rorke
and don't you come back
no more, no more, no more, no more

>>196462876
creme eggs are pretty small
that drink really quite large

alright I'm off then lads

>>196462917
somewhere in nature innit

can tell from the waterfall and trees

>>196462928
see you in a bit lad x

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>>196462860
this is my world every day

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'lo /brit/

>>196462812
same, it’s a weekend-toil situation for me since i got me tradie course coming up in may

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>>196462926
Well done mate

>>196462969
Brixton?

I LIKE BUKKAKE

>>196462997
government should give me this star at the end of everyday if they want me to toil

>>196462865
classic example would be Danni Ashe. A British examples that springs to mind would be Samantha Fox

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>>196462997
For me it was these

>>196462872
why did she have to fucking ruin herself with surgery, she hadn't even hit the wall yet and she decided to speed up the process

tummy's rumbly
weather's shit
didn't sleep well
all good omens for my interview later

>>196462926
people don't just eat 10 creme eggs in one go, that drink however was designed to be consumed in one sitting

>>196463069
Hope you shit yourself and then pass out shivering

hit the road, blacks
and don't you come back

Mumberg is critical of my decision to get a crown too.

on the bus with me cheeky day saver

>>196463069
hope all goes well

so i'll fight for trans rights

>>196463095
Isn't a crown more expensive than a filling?

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>>196463076
>people don't just eat 10 creme eggs in one go

trans rights are mental health rights

>>196463069
feel like interviews goes better if you’re in slight discomfort for me, not sure why

>>196463096
smoke da reefa in di cornaaa

>>196463069
Buddy, listen, there’s really nothing to worry about.


Just don’t fuck up.

>>196463117
...yh

I have to stop this. I will have to say I'm not comfortable with a crown.

i'm bringing pastry back (yeah!)
when I transport it I like to wear a hat (why?)
I'm not too sure, but it don't look whack (word)
where we going to hide it to protect from attack? (hmmm)
Take it to the fridge!

>>196463095
My mum is always going on about how dentists tell you you need stuff that you don't actually need because "they want to make money off you".

Erm mum I'm an NHS patient and pay like £40 at the dentist I'm quite sure they make a loss on me and just want what's best. Also dentists make like £80,000 a year I'm quite sure they're OK for money.

was it Lord Davo who used to say he'd skip the toilet before a meeting so he was working on a full bladder?

>>196463119
mate even a fatty would struggle, the sickly intensity of the sugar would just make you start to feel nauseated by the fifth one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uja3W-ibifc

is this the best youtube video EVER?

>>196463119
we're all rooting for you on your weight loss journey mate

>>196463166
SCREAMING

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>>196463108

>>196463184
not watched it but i doubt it

im bringing gay porn backkkk

>>196463119
not me though, I hope you get one stuck in your windpipe and die

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They don't look like they people to fight for them.

>>196463179
he said it about big decisions iirc

>>196463201
needless, then, for you to have replied

>>196463196
To trannards really get rape threats or is that just their fantasies at play

showertoil looms

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>>196463184
>18 years ago

just not gonna support any company that uses vertical videos in their advertisements, nor, trap beats as their choice of music
fucking sick to death of it

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>>196463179
In some surgeries the surgeons will fill up the patient's bladder with fluid so it inflates like a balloon. It apparently makes the surgery easier and safer.

Learned this from the TV program The Knick (great show) when they were trying to perfect a safe method of cesarean section but the patients kept dying on the table. In the end the bladder inflation was the trick.

There's also a treatment for bladder cancer where instead of injecting / swallowing the medication they just fill up your bladder with it. Dunno why I have so many facts about bladders but there you go, hope you enjoyed them.

*breathily over the phone*
I wouldn't even rape you with your dick, you freak

Gonna have a bath to calm down my piles. Got grapes grown out me arse.
Hurts to wipe.

>>196463282
Thankyou, singular bladder poster

if a tranny is getting loads of shit for being a tranny and can't go anywhere cos they're a tranny couldn't they just take their dress and makeup off and be fine

>>196463323
bladdley poster

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MoOoOo

>>196463336
pffffahahaha

posted it again award

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I don’t mind trannies if they look like picrel and make the effort.
Blokes in a dress need to just die

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>>196463184
Police warn public to not approach man wanted for attacking somebody with a firearm
Kevin McAteer, 25, is wanted by police following a gun attack in Salford

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sam fox did have rather lovely boobs to be fair but my heart will always belong to donna ewin

Hawaiian flag looks quite nice

>>196463364
damn you could tell from his rap he was about that life

>>196463365
AWOOGA
that's somebody's mom now

>>196463354
mate that looks like sean bean in a wig

>>196463333
just deinflate the tits I guess, reverse the surgeries, easy

Two raw eggs down the gullet

Boomers and women don't know what a browser is. They just use a different app for every possible website they want to use, so their phones end up having 70 apps with notifications that ring every 30 seconds.

>8C in the sun

not on is it really it was 15C yesterday fuck off

>>196463412
this is true for old people and zoomers, I don't think it's a gender thing

>>196463412
>They just use a different app for every possible website they want to use
they call this the unix philosophy

>>196463385
It's the iconic "whoa there matey, this here's a professional port, we've got a knock-off East India Company flag and everything" flag

>>196463428
bloody freezing

guns don't kill people, brappers do
farting out me bum
toot toot toot

>>196463399
Don't be a cunt

Do you use an umbrella or a hooded jacket when it’s raining?

is it even possible to scromit

>>196463475
yes

>>196463475
neither cos im not a pussio

>>196463476
Jimi Hendrix did it once

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>>196463428
spring is fucked

i'm making u itch ur head

>>196463475
not chinese or bent so i don’t use umbrellas

>>196463412
Mumberg asked for help once, said no websites were working for her. Asked her to show me and she loaded up a page, tried clicking around and nothing was happening.

She was trying to click through the 'Agree to cookies' overlay at the bottom of the page. She didn't understand that she had to click Agree / Reject first. Bear in mind this was a good 2-3 years after all this cookie agreement shite came about. I was genuinely annoyed at her stupidity and respected her less for the incident.

>>196463441
aha well said

>>196463489
goodness me they must shag
the guy on the right is like a buff superman
ridiculous

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>>196463489
Without forced perspective

>>196463506
scuse me, while I scream and die

>>196463519
in fairness to your mum that is horrific web design

the life plan?
step 1. get a job as a brickie
step 2. fuck up my back doing work as an aforementioned brickie
step 3. get on the disability pension
step 4. retire to the philippines with a local woman of questionable repute

thing they don't tell you about the weather in their little numbers C is that it's windy as fuck all the time

didn't realise that like all the "iconic" saltburn shit happens in the last 30 minutes
what a meh film

>>196463536
how many could you take

>>196463539
kek

>>196463536
go back to japan chang

>>196463489
Mad how Australia is a nation of deanos with access to year-round bbqs

mad that I went this long without buying a pass, I can shitpost like mad now
wahey look at me go

>>196463545
interesting

>>196463519
mine woke me up once in a panic as she thought she'd accidentally clicked x and lost her email forever but outlook saves as a draft with every keystroke

Got some nice burgers from the butchers, some cheese and relish.

Absolutely STARVING right now and could scran 4 of those cunts easily but you can't have a burger at 10.30am

It isn't right, not in my name

>>196463562
what, even the bit where he's spinning about with his knob out?

without any warning at all I'm suddenly a fat bastard

hi brit

>>196463599
yes that's the final scene lol

>>196463579
the deano phenomena is just yet another strong cultural tie between our two great nations

>>196463536
Said this the last time this was posted too but 3 of the western lads are definitely on gear. The others possibly but it's not certain.

Most of the asians look natty.

>>196463604
Hi mate

Hendrix's All Along the Watchtower absolutely destroys Bob Dylan's

>>196463568
The two women, maybe

>>196463545
replace "brickie" with carpet fitter and you've just described my uncle lmao

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ahrfohoorv drpee iseor oeynt

>>196463598
why the fuck did you buy radishes

>>196463604
hello

>>196463614
nobody cares noodle man

Our Deanos have less entry level merc saloons and more jet skis

The Sopranos is only good when you watch it as clips on Youtube

>>196463616
>>196463641
hi friends

>>196463598
You should look at the bottom of the stack of meat buddy. At the very bottom of the pile there's always one weighted 6.66 ounces. He puts them there I think. Let me know if you discover it at yours too. Because I can't visit all the town's, my body has gotten too sick to continue my research into the simulation. My fatigue as a result of a life without sex has made me severely suicidal.

australia doesnt have deanos

witnessing someone being disrespectful of other cultures

you hate to see it you really do

>I Know That My Younger Sister, A Junior High School Graduate Who Has Been Living As A Shut-in In A Dirty Room For 7 Years, Had Her First Experience With Me While I Was Asleep, And Has Since Then Continued To Satisfy Her Sexual Desires By Having Sex With Me At Night (without Contraceptives)
well that's tonights wank sorted

>>196463618
Submitted without comment
https://youtube.com/watch?v=L3xpmfJp0Xc

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCcNbrrxEEY

mark got another PS5 after selling it ~2 months ago so get in

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>>196463662

anyone here has sciatica how the fuck do you get rid of it I’m not fat or old
is it even worth going to the doctors

rorke doing a trans ahhhh dance

>>196463684
why did blud do that

>>196463684
don't watch lads it's not worth it

>>196463670
presumably because in Aus you can get paid like 100 grand to drive diggers in the Pilabara desert, actually affording a decent life

here the wages are capped at like 28k

said this before but even with our tradie deanos aside there's plenty of actual english deanos here as well anyway

>>196463722
How do you know you have it if you haven't been to the doctor

>>196463760
my deano mate went to aus for a year abroad at uni and thought he was gonna be the talk to the country with his accent but it turned out they were all like "oh yer english mate got tons a muckers loike that" and that was that

Rorke wanking to Zendaya's new movie

do a trans porn dance

>>196463793
look I'm not gonna sit here and pretend those webms weren't arousing

>>196463793
she’s mid af

>>196463793
feel like bwc has been gaining a lot of power and influence lately

>>196463792
ahaha yeah feel like half of london's here working in advertising and recruitment

lads can i get your opinions. how fucked am i?

a few days ago i posted a korean news article onto the 'log. i literally just copied and pasted it and replaced some hangeul words with their chinese characters just to show what korean could look like if it used chinese characters.

but now i'm potentially in trouble with janny and i'm scared. i messed up. since then my experiecne on this website has become significantly laggier and i received a warning from mr janny.

i am scared, lads. can someone explain what the actual problem is with doing what i did please.

At dentist. Last minute thoughts on getting a dental crown?

>thye's mid ath fuck

Dadberg once told me we were going to move to Australia when I was about 2. He is an electrician and at the time the Aussie government was giving fast track citizenships to people with in-demand trades along with other benefits.

They had all the paperwork completed and accepted then my mum bottled it at the last minute because she didn't want to be so far away from my grandparents.

Stupid bitch.

>>196463868
mental
literally your ticket to paradise

>>196463855
she’s not going to shag you mate enjoy your asian gf

>>196463868
The alternative universe Bruce version of you laughing down the pub with his mates and his bird

>>196463868
You have strong memories of age 2? Mad that

>>196463868
>at the time the Aussie government was giving fast track citizenships to people with in-demand trades along with other benefits.
just signed a bunch of new agreements with your govt after brexit so it's never too late for you aha

can't move the aus me as i got caught with a tiny bit of speed once and got cuationed

>>196463899
enjoy your...
your...

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>>196463903
ktim

>>196463868
In every single one of these Wanted Down Under programs the life in Aus seems significantly better than the UK in every way.

Always a laugh when the couple tallies up their salaries and it works out that they'll both be making significantly more money and even with a higher cost of living they'd end up with significantly more disposeable income per month too.

If I had any actual skills like a medical degree I would be gone in an instant and I don't hold anything against the people who do go.

australia is boring and reddit imo

love my pints

if you tried to take my pints away from me i'd go mental

>>196463926
Does that really block you

New

>>196463904
>>196463903
>>196463903
>>196463903
>>196463903
>>196463903

>>196463973
>>196463973
>>196463973

>>196463949
don't even need skilled labour anymore tbf (as much), we've made it easier for you generally
>>196463959
rubbish

>>196463793
she fucking another white guy in it?

>>196464222
two