if you've go tany questions about christanity i will try to answer them to the best of my ability

>>201453658
genuinely chilling how close this is to my life at 16

if you've go tany questions about christanity i will try to answer them to the best of my ability

melon status: twisted

if you kill an aboriginal you can never see dreamtime
so I got that going for me

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I believe in family
With my ever lovin' wife beside me
But she don't know about my girlfriend
Or the man I met last night
Do you believe in God?
'Cause that's what I'm selling
And if you wanna go to heaven
Well, I'll see you right

You won't even have to leave your house
Or get out of your chair
You don't even have to touch that dial
'Cause I'm everywhere

And Jesus He knows me and He knows I'm right
I've been talkin' to Jesus all my life
Oh, yes He knows me and He knows I'm right
Well, He's been tellin' me everything's gonna be alright

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oh no, not me
I never lost control
you're face to face
with the man who sucks golf balls

>>201453721
nobody cares you boring incel freak

>>201453737
Did Jesus have any kids?

train turds to attack birds

catberg reclining in front of the heater

weights toil looms
so can’t be arsed but it has to be done

>>201453759
So much for chicken soup for the soul

>>201453759
chicken soup for the soul

>>201453759
this would of been fine if the chicken soup went through the silicon (and water) and stuff which regulates the liquid temperature in a full system

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>>201453760
>>201453765

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>>201453806
>>201453808

When it comes to the idea of me and my sister excluding my parents from the rest of the family, I feel most sad for myself. The thought that I'm someone who has to cut out his own parents, as if I came from a broken home or something. Although both my parents came from broken homes it seems, as neither had a relationship with their father, who both as far as I can tell abused their mothers and ran out

So no wonder they're like that and I'm like this. My sister thinks my low iq mentally ill mum is controlling my braindamaged father

Ritalin is fucking fantastic. I've worked all day from about 9am until now without any distractions or long breaks, only took a break to make a sandwich and refill my water bottle. Going to relax now and make some dinner.

>>201453792
whyve you got a heater on you lunatic

>>201453775
cope

keep noticing things lads

>>201453369
yes i have actually.

>>201453792
thats cute can you show us a picture of catberg
actually what are you doing with the heater on you nutjob

>>201453760
>>201453765

>>201453806
>>201453808
alri hivemind

>>201453836
GIWTWM

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>>201453806
>>201453808

>>201453838
>>201453850
she's moved away now sorry lads
heater on because I'm in mums living room and she lives in a freezing cold stone cottage

you got any glazed donuts
NAAAAAHHHHHH WE'RE OUTTA GLAZED DONUTS
you got any jelly donuts
NAAAAAHHHHHH WE'RE OUTTA JELLY DONUTS

The new 'eitch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKxqV_LTNTk

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>He claimed that he went to Greggs for a drink because the police pepper spray made him thirsty.

>>201453888
kys gingernonce

>>201453760
>>201453765
>>201453806
>>201453808
>>201453831
>>201453832
whats going on here then?

>>201453906
alright well can you chase after her then its only a picture

>>201453920
haha look at his face

>>201453928
/brit/ has become one.

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Here's my bugger

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weekly dick flattening in 1 hour on bbc2

>>201453839
cry

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>haha look at his face

thinking about the time (yesterday) where i watched a bunch of YT shorts and started going HIYAAAAAAAA at Australians (and ill do it again)

feeling bouldery

>>201453981
bro you're sething hah

No more fucking bollocks now, if you've got nothing to post, don't post at all.

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>>201453998

>>201453976
cute catberg. he looks old

>>201453976
looks like hes got someone elses tail and nose on him bet he gets that a lot

>>201453845
>>201453888
>gets made fun of for crying and running away
>ERR i'll just start posting again to prove them wrong haha!!
this is just sad man it always was and it always will be, just fuck off and find another way to use your pathetic lonely life rather than annoying us with your inane shite day after day

call for help

bonk a grey squirrel on the head

>>201453998
Okay, I'll post more about how myself and my sister are about to go to war with my parents and possibly cut them out. we're both in our late 20's and don't live at home obviously

>>201453920
gotta love the honeymeister, you just gotta

So this is it. The last day of summer.

>>201454063
how so?

off the muck starting tomorrow. mark my words. fresh start de lads.

£72k in the bank and still never had a gf NOT EVEN CLOSE

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>>201453906
>>201453938
heres my 'berg from earlier today instead

fire a grey squirrel out of a T-shirt cannon into a gorilla pit at the zoo

>>201454034
Nah that's just his fur pattern, it's always looked like that. I think he's about eight

>>201454088
oscar

>>201454096
the fresh off the boat mandem in adidas slides and a nokia phone is stretching freshmeat tonight

Niggas lucky Jeff Bezos got allat money and not me I’d have lil niggas in Nicaragua building PYRAMIDS for no reason

>>201453997
rattled beyond belief

>>201454096
oh my days senpai

>>201454111
always found it mad how black cats look brown or red when their fur is in the sunlight, have we been lied to all this time?
>>201454127
wot

>>201454138
for no reason against Jews all throughout history

>>201454111
where is it can just see a big cat shaped hole haha only jesting id give its hands and feet a big kiss

>>201454138
i'd build pyramids in london and let dem whiteboys do the heavy lifting x

going around supermarkets looking for babies in prams so i can push their soft spots in with my big hairy thumb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh6-dcpEHas

>>201454048
ill stop

>>201454111
WASTED

>>201454214
howling

>>201454214
mice have only soft spots in their heads. they dont have skulls

>>201454146
project on

>>201454250
you've been done

>>201454214
edgy

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>what’s up gamers!
>it’s your boy, videogamer5000 and TODAY we are going to playing a hit classic retro game from the last called “Driv3r”
>how do you even say this haha “driv three rrr?” hahah it’s like GTA if GTA was old and well, I’ll say it, bad!
>now remember gang, smash that like button for more relic gameplay like this and don’t forget to grab that merch while it’s fresh and use my code GAMERNATION40 at checkout!
>now before we get started, a quick word from our sponsor of todays video GamerJuicePro
Bring back people recording CRTs with their dads camcorder I’m sick of it.

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>>201454111

Did a hearty belly laugh at the Bruce last thread
Mad how Aussies are consistently the best posters here

>>201454292
you cant post that

>>201454312
they are however that was an old brit post

>>201454273
you're a masterful coper

>>201454327
dogshit, so-so, kino

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>>201454312
oh you...

sat here minding my own business and my dick just went
>hmm i could go for a piss right now
so ill go for one of those 10% bladder pisses which dont even feel that bad

>>201454282
no one ever did it better than my boy jontron

>>201454363
pleb taste

If you see a grey squirrel or Frenchman in the road you have a legal obligation to hit it

>>201454388
safe g *fist bumps you*

>>201454413
safe g *fist bumps you*

sikhs are bro tier

>>201454327
>>201454363
tame impala went shit after innerspeaker
+ his ex mogged him by far with bon voyage

got PTSD from my clogged bog so every time i need a piss i mentally prepare myself for the poo smells

>>201454364
>jerry is rejjy backwards
>theyre both bent
just now realising this

sorry im just better than you

>>201454467
>>jerry is rejjy backwards
um

>>201454386
What ever happened to jontron? Is he still making high budget scripted video game reviews that get the same amount of views of him just sat in a chair talking?

fat poor ugly northerners getting excited about oasis when they never even good to begin with

spilt tuna on my leg an hour ago now my big brown leg hairs are imbued with the foul fishy odour

>>201454498
dunno x

round up the grey squirrels on the ground and displace an explosive or incendiary device from an aircraft at them

Freshers week approaches

I need to go back to 2013

Listening to tame impala right now and i dont get it. I really dont.
How fucking overrated are this lot?

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woah

me uncles got into killing squirrels since he retired

>>201454609
good him

>>201454464
once when I was house sitting for my parents I decided to use one of the toilets in the house for wees only and not flush to see what would happen
what didn't occur to me is the design of toilets and how after a while, if you wee into the bowl and don't flush, the toilet water is entirely replaced by wee
that happened and the wee went stale and old and smelled of ammonia, almost knocked me out every time I went for a piss. think it lasted 5 days in all before it got so bad I had to flush it and end the experiment.

>>201454576
Why?

>>201453709
Do people like starmer so far?

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wow this is some proper dogshit

>>201454650
yh
no one here though

I cummed in my gf's pussy today. She is not on birth control

>>201454650
bangladesh be kidding me!

gay tranny wog loving southerners queueing up for stormzy tickets

>>201454609
but do it properly so the problem doesnt get worse

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>>201454650
poo barmer? jury's still out

>>201454568
millions of virgin gashes prepping for bbc plappling in mere weeks

>>201454667
her period is about to start in the next day or two right...

>>201454677
yeh true mate

>>201454650
green japan

i bet that being a firefighter is so based

>>201454701
zero british girls are virgins by the time they get to uni
way to out yourself as an incel freak spaino!

>>201454707
She said so. If she's pregnant I'm not arsed desu. I love her and wouldn't mind having kids

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Thinking about when burnout paradise had that thing where you could send a “mugshot” from your eyetoy after taking someone down so I’d quickly jump up, drop my pants and send images of my spread arsehole or balls to strangers just playing a nice racing game. Shouldn’t have done that now I’m looking back

>>201453709
bowie's gender bending area is pure cringe. ziggy stardust is overrated. I prefer berlin area albums

how many stabbings at NHC this year?
diversity is our strength x

>>201454650
yea they do

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autistic virgins when you tell them you dont like weezer

>>201454650
Oh no Japan are you sick?

>>201454625
bro got that mousenonce in him

>>201454774
think there was like 2 which isn't bad for an event with 2 million visitors

Its no longer socially acceptable for anthropologists, psychologists, or other accredited professionals whose job it is to academically analyze demographic statistics to make known to the public that there is disproportionate crime, rape, and murder coming from certain websites

>>201454759
nah that sounds ludicrously based

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>one of the toilets in the house

grey squirrels gonna get that me in them

>>201454759
lad, you just admitted to distributing CP... :/

>>201454759
thats so based

>>201454743
it’s alright. 95% of it is just being paid to be at the station

>>201454843
thought you said you werent really into that sort of thing and just liked the drawings

>>201454759
my claim to fame is having the record on nelsons way on xbox for a good 7-9 months

>>201454904
grey squirrel M & F NTR and feminization

>>201454859
*shrugs defeatedly* allegedly or whatever

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>>201454930

freaky ass bisexual niggas

>>201454083
Our mother is a low iq control freak and Facebook addict. She's upset my sister, a mother of two babies, by saying she's a bad mum for essentially not dolling my nieces up for Facebook photos on command. My parents want to have like a day a week where they have my nieces to themselves, which my sister was considering, but she has a theory that my niece is now scared of slides because my parents were taking photos with her at the top and holding her for them instead of just letting her play. We ended up having a nearly five hour phone call recalling how they've been shit our entire lives, from putting us in one of the very worst rated schools in the UK, to not cooking properly for us and basically making us malnourished and short despite being a relatively middle class family, not giving us a single hobby or interest, basically shaming us out of any interest or hobby, even shaming me out of going to uni in my early twenties because "you'll be nearly 30 when you're out of uni" (I'm nearly 30 now), constantly cutting off large parts of the family for years at a time, arguing with every single family member and friend of the family. And now they're making my sister miserable because they seem to want to redo parenthood rather than accept that they fucked up as parents and now is time to move on as grandparents. They basically want shared parenthood with my sister and brother in law, yet they've shown that they're not even trustworthy around my nieces because they want to use them as props for fucking facebook

>dadberg and brotherberg use toilet paper on their cock after they've had a piss

why do this?
pull your foreskin back and shake like a normal person
it's such a pathetic waste

do you lads do that?

>>201454910
Reckon you should look up fame in a dictionary before you post again

>>201454979
bet your bellend smells like mackerel

had cybersex with a few "girls" on habbo hotel

i was like 10 years old and an autistic freak so i took it proper seriously and my heart would be racing lol

>>201455032
they were 40+ year old bent nonces

Cost cutting idea: don’t waste money buying big roll. Simply don’t wipe your bum after a poo.

>>201454979
Most people retract their foreskin before they piss mate not after

>>201454979
and shake drops of piss all over yourself?

>>201454979
if i'm at home i do. keeps my pants nice and fresh for longer.

Haven't even begun to talk about my father, the brain-damaged freemason former cop former soldier

>>201455064
yeah most likely

i like to think they were naughty fit american girls with names like kimberley

>>201454993
great idea. thought id give you a lookup as well
>wanker
>noun
>an offensive word for a very stupid or unpleasant person, usually a man

>>201455072
>retract their foreskin
?

remake the old atomic bomb and use a grey squirrel as the atom that starts the chain reaction

>>201454979
i do especially if i'm wearing something that can potentially drip stain easily

>>201454979
the tp method is the patrician choice
no piss stains, smells or problem areas

aaaaaa my head AAA
AAAAAAAAAAA

>>201454979
i never used to but my pissing ability went to shit 5 years ago and ive always got drops lurking in my foreskin now

spaffing all over my computers cd drive tray and closing it

>>201455126
sent that wanker to the edgeville bankers

i'm lvl 99 pissing

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>>201455206

Business idea: Restaurant that sells grey squirrel dishes. Half price if you bring your own squirrel.

>be me, female /brit/ poster looking for some evening bants with the lads
>they're all talking about cocks for the ten millionth time

fuck this I'm out

training my character up to level 75 by farming grey squirrel mobs

My claim to fame is being popular (1k+ likes on selfies) on Facebook in 2011

lad definitely smells of piss

>>201455198
same, I even have to milk the last few drops. prostate is probably fucked from all the sitting down

using words to describe something

>>201455224
you are poor in runescape and in real life

>>201455239
Shan’t be missed.

thread really improved since i left (sarcasm)

>>201455251
nah i think everyone has to do that

>>201455245
here, got it in my history for when some WANKER tells you to look it up
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/fame

>>201455272
what's (sarcasm)?
is that your gay bar?

mad how Susan Wojcicki died recently. and her son died earlier this year. bit strange that.

i wowna take you to the gay bar gay bar

>>201455323
People die all the time I reckon.

>>201455309
ba dum tss

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>settle
yikes

wowna take you to the poo barm poo barm

im gonna shit into your arsehole arsehole

just bit my bloody tongue ahhhh

my left kidney is 10.4cm long
but my right kidney is 10.9cm long
isnt that interesting?

You think you're funny with your bradleys don't you?

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>>201455323
vaxxed

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Remember you won the lottery of life being born an Englishman.

>>201455433
no thats normal

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>lad i didn't get along with in school posts a picture with his fat hog girlfriend

>>201455378
comments are full of seething jeets kek

The Chinese subjugation of the Uiyghur peoples

>>201455239
>female /brit/ poster
doessn't exist

50 quid for chippy tea
theyre takign the fuckign PISS

>>201455470
gonna post a pic of your (You)s?

>>201455474
the honky subjugation of my wigger peoples

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She's doing a year of Self Learning at the University of Roobs, Manor campus. Homemade modules will include Edwardian Christmas, bird types and Booktok.

Not joking, this is actually happening. What a self-absorbed weirdo she is.

>>201455464
only true if you're tall and got a big willy

>>201455452
looks jewish

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>>201455511
ok mate since you insist...

>>201455465
theyre quite small and usually left is bigger

>>201455557
source?

fried air for tea

The countdown starts today. If I haven't got my life together within 365 days of this post, I will kill myself.

My name appears in the ending credits of the movie Marmaduke. Less of a claim to fame and more of a great personal shame of mine.

>>201455470
You should screenshot your own post and then post it as a comment

>>201455574
cant remember somewhere on the ol 'uck'uck'o i presume

VCM in 30 mins on BBC2

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>>201454979
I wrap my willy up in a little toilet paper turban after pissing and then tuck it back into my boxers like that so that when I sit down and the little dribble comes out, it goes into the toilet paper. Like a nappy for my willy essentially. Then the next time I pee, or when I can be arsed, I throw away the toilet paper shroud.

>what if you're with a woman and she pulls down your undies and sees the toilet paper?
I've never had sex and I'm quite confident I will die a virgin. In any case, if it did happen for me then there would be ample time to remove the the 2-3 squares of toilet paper before the action.

>pee dribbling out after isn't normal! It's a sign of a weak pelvic floor blah blah
I don't care.

>>201455592
screaming at this for some reason

>>201455625
the ol 'glug glug' yeah

>>201455597
ermm why would let people know i post on 4CHAN thats... weird!!

You’re telling me the air fried this tea?

>>201455592
professional dog wanker is it

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>lad i got along with in school posts a picture with his fit chinese gf

>>201455561
leftypol really do be like dat !!!!!!

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>>201455452
Why did all Jews fall for it

>>201455582
you said this last year

>>201455592
I'm actually in a film as a wee tramp robbing a van but I was like 10.

love bbc2 quiz nights
mastermind only connect university challenge
sad bastard i am

sucking a fluoride green whistle

3,053 hours until 2025.

>>201455634
lad why are you telling us instead of patenting post piss willy turbans

>>201455592
Mate of mine once had an extras appearance in a big bollywood film by chance when he was travelling in india and I put him in the cast list on the wikipedia page for it before it came out for a joke, and there are a few jeet tabloid news websites that mention him in their reviews

>>201455655
*wishes on a shooting star that this will one day be me*

oh i haven't felt this way in like evurr
i am the convo, you are the weathurr

please make willy turbans

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>>201455683
110 - 125 IQ midwits with low testosterone are the most susceptible to psyops

really dont get it
its all crap

>>201455754
It's a nice thought but in practice the issue is solved adequately by toilet paper and there's always free toilet paper available in the toilet anyway.

>>201455746
3053 potential wanks

that don draper fella is a reet sleazy bugger int he

>>201455729
can't deal with watching university challenge.
reminds me of how I only managed to get into a mid tier uni and was a hair away from getting a 1:1, start thinking about what a good trajectory and life must be ahead of everyone on the panel. so im automatically full of regret and seethe.

My mind still cant get over the fact its been over 4 years since Covid started

Genuinely fuck this gay pozzed clownworld i had my life stolen from me i had everything taken from me

>>201455848
ooh but he isn't half handsome

just made 8 lunches.

>>201455848
quite fancy his daughter

>>201455848
shags tho

in the end that's all that matters

>>201455854
haha

>>201455634
i do something similarly autistic but for post-cum, i tear a little 1cm square of paper and stick it to my drooling japseye like you do when you nick yourself shaving so i don't get cum stains on my undies

>>201455854
got a 1st from a good uni and still ended up here

>>201455869
what exactly was stolen you whingy little mong? what is different for you now than it would have been?

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Numbers going up but life doesn’t feel better. Much to learn from this phenomenon.

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BAHAHA

NONCE ALERT

pay for a real language learning course

Every now and again when having a wank on the bed and I feel like it's going to be a big load I shoot quite hard I angle my cock at the moment of climax and cum all over my own face

>>201455933
Well that's easy to explain mate

Obsessive abstinence is weak, and learning a non-English language is degenerate and vile

>>201455964
Fucking cackling at this mental image

>>201455964
bit gay

>Sven Goran Erikkson dies on 26/08/24
>Oasis reunite on 27/08/24

was he what was holding them back?

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>>201455933
good for you

>>201455964
pause

>>201455869
Covid times were so odd
First lockdown I drove home to mum and dad's and spend the duration of it enjoying the fine weather with G&Ts in their garden and working from home, going on bike rides, nice walks etc
Was genuinely a nice time even though it was mega shit for loads of people

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR6D7P_Zvrg

Endless entertainment reading pajeet seethe comments on Youtube.

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>>201455655

fittied on mastermind

>>201455854
really doubt either of those has made much difference to your life trajectory
what degree did you get? that's way more important

most people i knew from school either dossed about and are now doing minimum wage runt jobs, or they studied some bollocks at a mid tier uni and now do povvo salary bullshit jobs

shiggity shiggity schwa

>>201456018
first lockdown was idyllic in a lot of ways
what was utterly mind beaking though was going back into society and seeing all the freaks still taking it seriously

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>>201455964

>>201456018
First lockdown was comfy, did a lot of partying and shagging
Second lockdown was grim but I was busy with trading
Third lockdown was horrific

>>201456020
timmy's last hope

>>201455848
you'd be too if you grew up in a whorehouse

>>201456030
not really is she
only looks alright in comparison to the usual dysgenic freaks on there

>>201456018
same lad was doing online uni still at mum and dads while they worked from home enjoying home cooked spaghettis n that every night while frail old grannies were out dying by the truckload it was mint honestly

If you didn’t still work as normal during covid then your job is defacto useless to society. (I used the word defacto here without googling what it means or if I used it right so ignore me if I messed it up)

>>201455934
>This really got me thinking about some related ideas i've been exploring lately
say this all the time really

>>201456034
I got a mechanical engineering degree, haven't done anything with it desu

fanny chmelar

>>201456148
This really got me thinking about some related ideas i've been exploring lately

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Accidentally stabbed myself the other day with broken glass. Hope it doesn't scar, but it's quite deep

I'm sorry, but I am unable to generate a respo

>>201456188
gaaay

might see if I can find any brown MENA girls on interpals (I am learning Arabic too), any experiences with this?

>>201456188
thats alright birds will think its cool and sexy

>>201456248
>birds
doubt it!

>>201456188
nice chicken leg you fucking queer

SVEN
SVEEEEEN
SVEEEEEEEEEN

>>201456244
Just straight up lying

>>201456244
done him, hasn't he
sent him straight back to the samosa shop

>>201456244
just imagined being a short little round-faced indian man and it made me wince

>>201456244
absolutely fucking mind boggling how egotistical indian men can be despite being universally agreed to be the least attractive demographic on the planet

>>201456188
>hope it doesn't scar

Why? Why would having a single scar on the top half of one thigh bother you in any way?

>>201456302
>Why? Why would having a single scar on the top half of one thigh bother you in any way?
I want to be pure

do love indian food having said that though

>>201456321
Twink

>>201456305
wouldn't call that a cope it's just the truth

cope would be if he said they like British men because they're richer

>>201456305
if that's true why does no one find indian people attractive

>>201456188
look at those legs
i reckon i could pin you down and rape you if i ever wanted to

Just remembered I’m not a little 5 foot 6 brown fella. Slightly perked me up that has

I am half Jewish. Btw

File: IMG_2985.jpg (80 KB, 1080x1080)

80 KB JPG

are dua x

chinky fella on mastermind and his first question is about the colour yellow

>>201456390
might print this post out and pop it in my wallet to look at whenever i feel down

im half black
so im allowed to say it

>>201456321
gay death is going to do a right number on you lmao

>>201456369
I'm 5'5" and about 115lbs

insane how like 1/3rd of the world's population was unlucky enough to be born short and brown

>>201456444
No, I'm what they call neotenic, sorry mate, you're the opposite

>>201456462
stop it Canada!!!!!!!

>>201456458
corrrrrr

>>201456462
what's it like?

>>201456458
I’m coming for you

>>201456462
I'm short and white, but I've got blue eyes and blondish hair

nobody here hates you because youre brown
its your flag

>>201456462
Alri Zhang.

>>201456458
Get in the fucking dress

>>201456416
thugs only

1/3rd of /brit/ posters too it appears!

gf keeps insisting on farting to defy patriarchal norms despite my protests

Get it made boss man

>>201456526
Made me laugh but nah I'm short and probably dense not tall and lanky, learn aerodynamics

Just got cat fished

>>201456501
im sure thats what they all say. then they top themselves.

325 posts what am I a mug or something?

get it made you cretins

>>201449950
>we hebben een serieus probleem
We have a serious problem`

I don't know what I will do w/ I drink speaking Anglish in the internets

>>201456577
Disgusting, leave the pig

the thread is much better lately (today)

>>201456581
Don’t tell me what to do Peter Twinklage