The Man Who Sold The World edition
if you've go tany questions about christanity i will try to answer them to the best of my ability
>>201453658genuinely chilling how close this is to my life at 16
melon status: twisted
if you kill an aboriginal you can never see dreamtimeso I got that going for me
I believe in familyWith my ever lovin' wife beside meBut she don't know about my girlfriendOr the man I met last nightDo you believe in God?'Cause that's what I'm sellingAnd if you wanna go to heavenWell, I'll see you rightYou won't even have to leave your houseOr get out of your chairYou don't even have to touch that dial'Cause I'm everywhereAnd Jesus He knows me and He knows I'm rightI've been talkin' to Jesus all my lifeOh, yes He knows me and He knows I'm rightWell, He's been tellin' me everything's gonna be alright
oh no, not meI never lost controlyou're face to facewith the man who sucks golf balls
>>201453721nobody cares you boring incel freak
>>201453737Did Jesus have any kids?
train turds to attack birds
catberg reclining in front of the heater
weights toil looms so can’t be arsed but it has to be done
>>201453759So much for chicken soup for the soul
>>201453759chicken soup for the soul
>>201453759this would of been fine if the chicken soup went through the silicon (and water) and stuff which regulates the liquid temperature in a full system
>>201453760>>201453765
>>201453806>>201453808
When it comes to the idea of me and my sister excluding my parents from the rest of the family, I feel most sad for myself. The thought that I'm someone who has to cut out his own parents, as if I came from a broken home or something. Although both my parents came from broken homes it seems, as neither had a relationship with their father, who both as far as I can tell abused their mothers and ran outSo no wonder they're like that and I'm like this. My sister thinks my low iq mentally ill mum is controlling my braindamaged father
Ritalin is fucking fantastic. I've worked all day from about 9am until now without any distractions or long breaks, only took a break to make a sandwich and refill my water bottle. Going to relax now and make some dinner.
>>201453792whyve you got a heater on you lunatic
>>201453775cope
keep noticing things lads
>>201453369yes i have actually.
>>201453792thats cute can you show us a picture of catbergactually what are you doing with the heater on you nutjob
>>201453760>>201453765>>201453806>>201453808alri hivemind
>>201453836GIWTWM
>>201453838>>201453850she's moved away now sorry lads heater on because I'm in mums living room and she lives in a freezing cold stone cottage
you got any glazed donutsNAAAAAHHHHHH WE'RE OUTTA GLAZED DONUTSyou got any jelly donutsNAAAAAHHHHHH WE'RE OUTTA JELLY DONUTS
The new 'eitchhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKxqV_LTNTk
>He claimed that he went to Greggs for a drink because the police pepper spray made him thirsty.
>>201453888kys gingernonce
>>201453760>>201453765>>201453806>>201453808>>201453831>>201453832whats going on here then?
>>201453906alright well can you chase after her then its only a picture
>>201453920haha look at his face
>>201453928/brit/ has become one.
Here's my bugger
weekly dick flattening in 1 hour on bbc2
>>201453839cry
>haha look at his face
thinking about the time (yesterday) where i watched a bunch of YT shorts and started going HIYAAAAAAAA at Australians (and ill do it again)
feeling bouldery
>>201453981bro you're sething hah
No more fucking bollocks now, if you've got nothing to post, don't post at all.
>>201453998
>>201453976cute catberg. he looks old
>>201453976looks like hes got someone elses tail and nose on him bet he gets that a lot
>>201453845>>201453888>gets made fun of for crying and running away>ERR i'll just start posting again to prove them wrong haha!!this is just sad man it always was and it always will be, just fuck off and find another way to use your pathetic lonely life rather than annoying us with your inane shite day after day
call for help
bonk a grey squirrel on the head
>>201453998Okay, I'll post more about how myself and my sister are about to go to war with my parents and possibly cut them out. we're both in our late 20's and don't live at home obviously
>>201453920gotta love the honeymeister, you just gotta
So this is it. The last day of summer.
>>201454063how so?
off the muck starting tomorrow. mark my words. fresh start de lads.
£72k in the bank and still never had a gf NOT EVEN CLOSE
>>201453906>>201453938heres my 'berg from earlier today instead
fire a grey squirrel out of a T-shirt cannon into a gorilla pit at the zoo
>>201454034Nah that's just his fur pattern, it's always looked like that. I think he's about eight
>>201454088oscar
>>201454096the fresh off the boat mandem in adidas slides and a nokia phone is stretching freshmeat tonight
Niggas lucky Jeff Bezos got allat money and not me I’d have lil niggas in Nicaragua building PYRAMIDS for no reason
>>201453997rattled beyond belief
>>201454096oh my days senpai
>>201454111always found it mad how black cats look brown or red when their fur is in the sunlight, have we been lied to all this time?>>201454127wot
>>201454138for no reason against Jews all throughout history
>>201454111where is it can just see a big cat shaped hole haha only jesting id give its hands and feet a big kiss
>>201454138i'd build pyramids in london and let dem whiteboys do the heavy lifting x
going around supermarkets looking for babies in prams so i can push their soft spots in with my big hairy thumb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh6-dcpEHas
>>201454048ill stop
>>201454111WASTED
>>201454214howling
>>201454214mice have only soft spots in their heads. they dont have skulls
>>201454146project on
>>201454250you've been done
>>201454214edgy
>what’s up gamers!>it’s your boy, videogamer5000 and TODAY we are going to playing a hit classic retro game from the last called “Driv3r”>how do you even say this haha “driv three rrr?” hahah it’s like GTA if GTA was old and well, I’ll say it, bad!>now remember gang, smash that like button for more relic gameplay like this and don’t forget to grab that merch while it’s fresh and use my code GAMERNATION40 at checkout!>now before we get started, a quick word from our sponsor of todays video GamerJuiceProBring back people recording CRTs with their dads camcorder I’m sick of it.
>>201454111
Did a hearty belly laugh at the Bruce last threadMad how Aussies are consistently the best posters here
>>201454292you cant post that
>>201454312they are however that was an old brit post
>>201454273you're a masterful coper
>>201454327dogshit, so-so, kino
>>201454312oh you...
sat here minding my own business and my dick just went >hmm i could go for a piss right nowso ill go for one of those 10% bladder pisses which dont even feel that bad
>>201454282no one ever did it better than my boy jontron
>>201454363pleb taste
If you see a grey squirrel or Frenchman in the road you have a legal obligation to hit it
>>201454388safe g *fist bumps you*
>>201454413safe g *fist bumps you*
sikhs are bro tier
>>201454327>>201454363tame impala went shit after innerspeaker+ his ex mogged him by far with bon voyage
got PTSD from my clogged bog so every time i need a piss i mentally prepare myself for the poo smells
>>201454364>jerry is rejjy backwards>theyre both bentjust now realising this
sorry im just better than you
>>201454467>>jerry is rejjy backwardsum
>>201454386What ever happened to jontron? Is he still making high budget scripted video game reviews that get the same amount of views of him just sat in a chair talking?
fat poor ugly northerners getting excited about oasis when they never even good to begin with
spilt tuna on my leg an hour ago now my big brown leg hairs are imbued with the foul fishy odour
>>201454498dunno x
round up the grey squirrels on the ground and displace an explosive or incendiary device from an aircraft at them
Freshers week approaches
I need to go back to 2013
Listening to tame impala right now and i dont get it. I really dont.How fucking overrated are this lot?
woah
me uncles got into killing squirrels since he retired
>>201454609good him
>>201454464once when I was house sitting for my parents I decided to use one of the toilets in the house for wees only and not flush to see what would happenwhat didn't occur to me is the design of toilets and how after a while, if you wee into the bowl and don't flush, the toilet water is entirely replaced by wee that happened and the wee went stale and old and smelled of ammonia, almost knocked me out every time I went for a piss. think it lasted 5 days in all before it got so bad I had to flush it and end the experiment.
>>201454576Why?
>>201453709Do people like starmer so far?
wow this is some proper dogshit
>>201454650yhno one here though
I cummed in my gf's pussy today. She is not on birth control
>>201454650bangladesh be kidding me!
gay tranny wog loving southerners queueing up for stormzy tickets
>>201454609but do it properly so the problem doesnt get worse
>>201454650poo barmer? jury's still out
>>201454568millions of virgin gashes prepping for bbc plappling in mere weeks
>>201454667her period is about to start in the next day or two right...
>>201454677yeh true mate
>>201454650green japan
i bet that being a firefighter is so based
>>201454701zero british girls are virgins by the time they get to uniway to out yourself as an incel freak spaino!
>>201454707She said so. If she's pregnant I'm not arsed desu. I love her and wouldn't mind having kids
Thinking about when burnout paradise had that thing where you could send a “mugshot” from your eyetoy after taking someone down so I’d quickly jump up, drop my pants and send images of my spread arsehole or balls to strangers just playing a nice racing game. Shouldn’t have done that now I’m looking back
>>201453709bowie's gender bending area is pure cringe. ziggy stardust is overrated. I prefer berlin area albums
how many stabbings at NHC this year? diversity is our strength x
>>201454650yea they do
autistic virgins when you tell them you dont like weezer
>>201454650Oh no Japan are you sick?
>>201454625bro got that mousenonce in him
>>201454774think there was like 2 which isn't bad for an event with 2 million visitors
Its no longer socially acceptable for anthropologists, psychologists, or other accredited professionals whose job it is to academically analyze demographic statistics to make known to the public that there is disproportionate crime, rape, and murder coming from certain websites
>>201454759nah that sounds ludicrously based
>one of the toilets in the house
grey squirrels gonna get that me in them
>>201454759lad, you just admitted to distributing CP... :/
>>201454759thats so based
>>201454743it’s alright. 95% of it is just being paid to be at the station
>>201454843thought you said you werent really into that sort of thing and just liked the drawings
>>201454759my claim to fame is having the record on nelsons way on xbox for a good 7-9 months
>>201454904grey squirrel M & F NTR and feminization
>>201454859*shrugs defeatedly* allegedly or whatever
>>201454930
freaky ass bisexual niggas
>>201454083Our mother is a low iq control freak and Facebook addict. She's upset my sister, a mother of two babies, by saying she's a bad mum for essentially not dolling my nieces up for Facebook photos on command. My parents want to have like a day a week where they have my nieces to themselves, which my sister was considering, but she has a theory that my niece is now scared of slides because my parents were taking photos with her at the top and holding her for them instead of just letting her play. We ended up having a nearly five hour phone call recalling how they've been shit our entire lives, from putting us in one of the very worst rated schools in the UK, to not cooking properly for us and basically making us malnourished and short despite being a relatively middle class family, not giving us a single hobby or interest, basically shaming us out of any interest or hobby, even shaming me out of going to uni in my early twenties because "you'll be nearly 30 when you're out of uni" (I'm nearly 30 now), constantly cutting off large parts of the family for years at a time, arguing with every single family member and friend of the family. And now they're making my sister miserable because they seem to want to redo parenthood rather than accept that they fucked up as parents and now is time to move on as grandparents. They basically want shared parenthood with my sister and brother in law, yet they've shown that they're not even trustworthy around my nieces because they want to use them as props for fucking facebook
>dadberg and brotherberg use toilet paper on their cock after they've had a pisswhy do this?pull your foreskin back and shake like a normal personit's such a pathetic wastedo you lads do that?
>>201454910Reckon you should look up fame in a dictionary before you post again
>>201454979bet your bellend smells like mackerel
had cybersex with a few "girls" on habbo hoteli was like 10 years old and an autistic freak so i took it proper seriously and my heart would be racing lol
>>201455032they were 40+ year old bent nonces
Cost cutting idea: don’t waste money buying big roll. Simply don’t wipe your bum after a poo.
>>201454979Most people retract their foreskin before they piss mate not after
>>201454979and shake drops of piss all over yourself?
>>201454979if i'm at home i do. keeps my pants nice and fresh for longer.
Haven't even begun to talk about my father, the brain-damaged freemason former cop former soldier
>>201455064yeah most likelyi like to think they were naughty fit american girls with names like kimberley
>>201454993great idea. thought id give you a lookup as well>wanker>noun >an offensive word for a very stupid or unpleasant person, usually a man
>>201455072>retract their foreskin?
remake the old atomic bomb and use a grey squirrel as the atom that starts the chain reaction
>>201454979i do especially if i'm wearing something that can potentially drip stain easily
>>201454979the tp method is the patrician choiceno piss stains, smells or problem areas
aaaaaa my head AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>201454979i never used to but my pissing ability went to shit 5 years ago and ive always got drops lurking in my foreskin now
spaffing all over my computers cd drive tray and closing it
>>201455126sent that wanker to the edgeville bankers
i'm lvl 99 pissing
>>201455206
Business idea: Restaurant that sells grey squirrel dishes. Half price if you bring your own squirrel.
>be me, female /brit/ poster looking for some evening bants with the lads>they're all talking about cocks for the ten millionth timefuck this I'm out
training my character up to level 75 by farming grey squirrel mobs
My claim to fame is being popular (1k+ likes on selfies) on Facebook in 2011
lad definitely smells of piss
>>201455198same, I even have to milk the last few drops. prostate is probably fucked from all the sitting down
using words to describe something
>>201455224you are poor in runescape and in real life
>>201455239Shan’t be missed.
thread really improved since i left (sarcasm)
>>201455251nah i think everyone has to do that
>>201455245here, got it in my history for when some WANKER tells you to look it uphttps://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/fame
>>201455272what's (sarcasm)?is that your gay bar?
mad how Susan Wojcicki died recently. and her son died earlier this year. bit strange that.
i wowna take you to the gay bar gay bar
>>201455323People die all the time I reckon.
>>201455309ba dum tss
>settleyikes
wowna take you to the poo barm poo barm
im gonna shit into your arsehole arsehole
just bit my bloody tongue ahhhh
my left kidney is 10.4cm longbut my right kidney is 10.9cm longisnt that interesting?
You think you're funny with your bradleys don't you?
>>201455323vaxxed
Remember you won the lottery of life being born an Englishman.
>>201455433no thats normal
>lad i didn't get along with in school posts a picture with his fat hog girlfriend
>>201455378comments are full of seething jeets kek
The Chinese subjugation of the Uiyghur peoples
>>201455239>female /brit/ posterdoessn't exist
50 quid for chippy teatheyre takign the fuckign PISS
>>201455470gonna post a pic of your (You)s?
>>201455474the honky subjugation of my wigger peoples
She's doing a year of Self Learning at the University of Roobs, Manor campus. Homemade modules will include Edwardian Christmas, bird types and Booktok.Not joking, this is actually happening. What a self-absorbed weirdo she is.
>>201455464only true if you're tall and got a big willy
>>201455452looks jewish
>>201455511ok mate since you insist...
>>201455465theyre quite small and usually left is bigger
>>201455557source?
fried air for tea
The countdown starts today. If I haven't got my life together within 365 days of this post, I will kill myself.
My name appears in the ending credits of the movie Marmaduke. Less of a claim to fame and more of a great personal shame of mine.
>>201455470You should screenshot your own post and then post it as a comment
>>201455574cant remember somewhere on the ol 'uck'uck'o i presume
VCM in 30 mins on BBC2
>>201454979I wrap my willy up in a little toilet paper turban after pissing and then tuck it back into my boxers like that so that when I sit down and the little dribble comes out, it goes into the toilet paper. Like a nappy for my willy essentially. Then the next time I pee, or when I can be arsed, I throw away the toilet paper shroud. >what if you're with a woman and she pulls down your undies and sees the toilet paper?I've never had sex and I'm quite confident I will die a virgin. In any case, if it did happen for me then there would be ample time to remove the the 2-3 squares of toilet paper before the action.>pee dribbling out after isn't normal! It's a sign of a weak pelvic floor blah blahI don't care.
>>201455592screaming at this for some reason
>>201455625the ol 'glug glug' yeah
>>201455597ermm why would let people know i post on 4CHAN thats... weird!!
You’re telling me the air fried this tea?
>>201455592professional dog wanker is it
>lad i got along with in school posts a picture with his fit chinese gf
>>201455561leftypol really do be like dat !!!!!!
>>201455452Why did all Jews fall for it
>>201455582you said this last year
>>201455592I'm actually in a film as a wee tramp robbing a van but I was like 10.
love bbc2 quiz nights mastermind only connect university challengesad bastard i am
sucking a fluoride green whistle
3,053 hours until 2025.
>>201455634lad why are you telling us instead of patenting post piss willy turbans
>>201455592Mate of mine once had an extras appearance in a big bollywood film by chance when he was travelling in india and I put him in the cast list on the wikipedia page for it before it came out for a joke, and there are a few jeet tabloid news websites that mention him in their reviews
>>201455655*wishes on a shooting star that this will one day be me*
oh i haven't felt this way in like evurri am the convo, you are the weathurr
please make willy turbans
>>201455683110 - 125 IQ midwits with low testosterone are the most susceptible to psyops
really dont get itits all crap
>>201455754It's a nice thought but in practice the issue is solved adequately by toilet paper and there's always free toilet paper available in the toilet anyway.
>>2014557463053 potential wanks
that don draper fella is a reet sleazy bugger int he
>>201455729can't deal with watching university challenge.reminds me of how I only managed to get into a mid tier uni and was a hair away from getting a 1:1, start thinking about what a good trajectory and life must be ahead of everyone on the panel. so im automatically full of regret and seethe.
My mind still cant get over the fact its been over 4 years since Covid startedGenuinely fuck this gay pozzed clownworld i had my life stolen from me i had everything taken from me
>>201455848ooh but he isn't half handsome
just made 8 lunches.
>>201455848quite fancy his daughter
>>201455848shags thoin the end that's all that matters
>>201455854haha
>>201455634i do something similarly autistic but for post-cum, i tear a little 1cm square of paper and stick it to my drooling japseye like you do when you nick yourself shaving so i don't get cum stains on my undies
>>201455854got a 1st from a good uni and still ended up here
>>201455869what exactly was stolen you whingy little mong? what is different for you now than it would have been?
Numbers going up but life doesn’t feel better. Much to learn from this phenomenon.
BAHAHA
NONCE ALERT
pay for a real language learning course
Every now and again when having a wank on the bed and I feel like it's going to be a big load I shoot quite hard I angle my cock at the moment of climax and cum all over my own face
>>201455933Well that's easy to explain mateObsessive abstinence is weak, and learning a non-English language is degenerate and vile
>>201455964Fucking cackling at this mental image
>>201455964bit gay
>Sven Goran Erikkson dies on 26/08/24>Oasis reunite on 27/08/24was he what was holding them back?
>>201455933good for you
>>201455964pause
>>201455869Covid times were so oddFirst lockdown I drove home to mum and dad's and spend the duration of it enjoying the fine weather with G&Ts in their garden and working from home, going on bike rides, nice walks etcWas genuinely a nice time even though it was mega shit for loads of people
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KR6D7P_ZvrgEndless entertainment reading pajeet seethe comments on Youtube.
>>201455655
fittied on mastermind
>>201455854really doubt either of those has made much difference to your life trajectorywhat degree did you get? that's way more importantmost people i knew from school either dossed about and are now doing minimum wage runt jobs, or they studied some bollocks at a mid tier uni and now do povvo salary bullshit jobs
shiggity shiggity schwa
>>201456018first lockdown was idyllic in a lot of wayswhat was utterly mind beaking though was going back into society and seeing all the freaks still taking it seriously
>>201455964
>>201456018First lockdown was comfy, did a lot of partying and shaggingSecond lockdown was grim but I was busy with tradingThird lockdown was horrific
>>201456020timmy's last hope
>>201455848you'd be too if you grew up in a whorehouse
>>201456030not really is sheonly looks alright in comparison to the usual dysgenic freaks on there
>>201456018same lad was doing online uni still at mum and dads while they worked from home enjoying home cooked spaghettis n that every night while frail old grannies were out dying by the truckload it was mint honestly
If you didn’t still work as normal during covid then your job is defacto useless to society. (I used the word defacto here without googling what it means or if I used it right so ignore me if I messed it up)
>>201455934>This really got me thinking about some related ideas i've been exploring latelysay this all the time really
>>201456034I got a mechanical engineering degree, haven't done anything with it desu
fanny chmelar
>>201456148This really got me thinking about some related ideas i've been exploring lately
Accidentally stabbed myself the other day with broken glass. Hope it doesn't scar, but it's quite deep
I'm sorry, but I am unable to generate a respo
>>201456188gaaay
might see if I can find any brown MENA girls on interpals (I am learning Arabic too), any experiences with this?
>>201456188thats alright birds will think its cool and sexy
>>201456248>birdsdoubt it!
>>201456188nice chicken leg you fucking queer
SVENSVEEEEENSVEEEEEEEEEN
>>201456244Just straight up lying
>>201456244done him, hasn't hesent him straight back to the samosa shop
>>201456244just imagined being a short little round-faced indian man and it made me wince
>>201456244absolutely fucking mind boggling how egotistical indian men can be despite being universally agreed to be the least attractive demographic on the planet
>>201456188>hope it doesn't scarWhy? Why would having a single scar on the top half of one thigh bother you in any way?
>>201456302>Why? Why would having a single scar on the top half of one thigh bother you in any way?I want to be pure
do love indian food having said that though
>>201456321Twink
>>201456305wouldn't call that a cope it's just the truthcope would be if he said they like British men because they're richer
>>201456305if that's true why does no one find indian people attractive
>>201456188look at those legsi reckon i could pin you down and rape you if i ever wanted to
Just remembered I’m not a little 5 foot 6 brown fella. Slightly perked me up that has
I am half Jewish. Btw
are dua x
chinky fella on mastermind and his first question is about the colour yellow
>>201456390might print this post out and pop it in my wallet to look at whenever i feel down
im half blackso im allowed to say it
>>201456321gay death is going to do a right number on you lmao
>>201456369I'm 5'5" and about 115lbs
insane how like 1/3rd of the world's population was unlucky enough to be born short and brown
>>201456444No, I'm what they call neotenic, sorry mate, you're the opposite
>>201456462stop it Canada!!!!!!!
>>201456458corrrrrr
>>201456462what's it like?
>>201456458I’m coming for you
>>201456462I'm short and white, but I've got blue eyes and blondish hair
nobody here hates you because youre brownits your flag
>>201456462Alri Zhang.
>>201456458Get in the fucking dress
>>201456416thugs only
1/3rd of /brit/ posters too it appears!
gf keeps insisting on farting to defy patriarchal norms despite my protests
Get it made boss man
>>201456526Made me laugh but nah I'm short and probably dense not tall and lanky, learn aerodynamics
Just got cat fished
>>201456501im sure thats what they all say. then they top themselves.
325 posts what am I a mug or something?get it made you cretins
>>201449950>we hebben een serieus probleemWe have a serious problem`I don't know what I will do w/ I drink speaking Anglish in the internets
>>201456577Disgusting, leave the pig
the thread is much better lately (today)
>>201456581Don’t tell me what to do Peter Twinklage
>>201456633thanks mate, ive been on top form as usual
so this is it, the final /brit/ ever
pizza in de oven
>>201456462mad how they're 40% of your population now too
>>201456602>im sure thats what they all say. then they top themselvesI'm more of a bottom myself
329? what are you lot playing at
rorke huffing ozone depleting comupter duster to give himself muscle spasms as he clicks around YouTube to realyl throw the algo off
new>>201456282>>201456282>>201456282
*doesn't make the new*
>>201456683
alright hang on i'll make it now
number 4.Leftypol BUYS a RATM T-shirt
GET IT FUCKING MADE
>>201456677>clicks aroundsurely you'd have to search for specific things to throw the algorithm off? If you're clicking anything that it has shown you of its own accord, it's still very much within the ballpark of the algorithmsuppose one could argue that even the search results you are shown are curated by the algorithm, and thus your search results would be different from mine for the same search. There's no escape.
>>201456768
>>201456739Hurry I need to describe a fart I’ve just done!
don't worry guys, I'm just about to post the new*runs off cackling*
>>201456683UM
>>201456754rorke means that hes clicking the suggested/related videos