h salt edition
good morning /brit/what's for breakfast?french toast for me :)
>>201644375i had bacon and eggs earlier
would love rachel reeves to fuck right off
>>201644375do you add nutmeg?
>>201644375just had eggs
shitting my bum off
Imagining being a male from a place like this. One day you end up in europe where women are walking around in bikinis and shorts. How do you control?
>>201644334The religious dreams >be in large gymnasium>riding light up automated skate board trains in circles>performing>we got HIIGGHSSS>WE GOT LOOOOWSS(lowie lowie lows!)Always some weird cheesy evangelical shit
>>201644389evil flavour
>>201644417egregiously brown post
might start spamming really shit gimmick then post a desuarchive search result link to said gimmick posts accompanied by something like ‘what’s his end game’ as though it wasn’t me lol
scheming a poo
should i a)try to sleep for another hour and see if my hangover improvesb)order a lovely mcdonalds breakfast before it shuts and get a brown man to deliver itorc)get up and make eggs with the frying pan
>>201644462swear these people are closer to animals than humans
sausage sarni is on
>>201644504C but go in shower and get dressed first you will feel loads bette
>>201644504it's nearly midday mate you need to sort yourself outshower and a coffee and your hangover is dealt with
>>201644504all three, check em
>>201644417The same way I go to the bathroom to shit instead of doing it on my bedroom floor. It's called not being an animal
going to the barbican tonight to see magnetic fields play 69 love songs hahagoing by myself ahha
The murder dreams are unique. It's always so surreal. Someone's gonna know, the cops are gonna find out. You didn't do it, it's a dream? It's not in your nature. There's someone at your front door btw. Actually you're facing the door and someone's knocking
"ah yes, the bottom bit of a lettuce leaf, the white basically inedible bit, that'll be perfect to go in his sandwiches" - the missus
would never eat something that came out a chickens arse
>>201644547can I come mate
business idea: fish and chip shoppe called "a salt and battery"
>>201644453I love it tho
>>201644547like a chicken with it's head cut off haha
>>201644558*wipes pooey mouth*haha y-yeah same
>>2016445041) get up and have a glass of water 2) hop in the shower and have a wank3) make a coffee and ONE egg + a buttered toast and some more water if you want
>>201644571But they don't sell batteries
might watch the crickey before the footy
You didn't kill them!But you had toThey're buriedNo one will know But someone will find out It's a dream, it has to beBut it's not you've been at this for awhile now.They deserved itYou killed them, you're a killer
>>201644547aww poor lad how are you getting home
>>201644607Sports, eugh... There but for the grace of God go I
OasisGet them ticketsGet them mollyGet them housedGet them wanked off
got no drive for sex just want to hold stroke and grope a female body all over
solitaire sex mods
>>201644608*standing at the sink looking in the mirror***normal voice to skull voices**>yeah..it's a trick to get me to shoot up a school, I don't have a gun...**voices turn to gibberish ever increasing volume**AwakenYou can't screamF-fuck!-exploding head syndrome
>>201644677Snogging with a girl while she fondles your crotch through your pants.
>>201644677Sounds a bit like a sex drive to me lad
i been wankin on the poo barmall the live long day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25G83SGkZL4well said michael
>>201644682A post like this would get you locked up in today's CommieStarmer Britain.
every board is full of mutt politics for their election gamehad enough
>>201644530can tell u're young as fuck if you think the average hangover is anywhere near done by middayif i'm smashing it until say 6am no way i'm spritly at midday>>201644547good lad haha
>Insomnia the entire night>anxiety>fear>exhaustion takes over, about to fall asleep>"it's been awhile since you had a ground visit">sleep paralysis >they're in the corner of the room>f-Fuck
wanks are a very good hangover remedy
>>201644562sold out tonight matethere are still tickets for tomorrow x>>201644584yeah haha >>201644619train
I hope you lads have been behaving yourselves
average australian gaming experience
*gets nuked by starmers trident %200bn nuclear missile for smoking on the path*
a fu nad hani kevgo naes avl vy e
>>201644825Erm this thread is called /Brit/ not /Aus/.
Another weekend sat inside again is it?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HWRGKfSq3A
>>201644761why are you smashing it until 6am? i feel like you're the one who needs to grow up
>>201644850...prefer not to say
finna go to the world market and get some fentiman sodas so that i can experience british culture
>>201644858cos that's when the good clubs run and usually best artists on around that time and if i made it until 4 might as well stay until closing unless i'm superfucked
>>201644715You can't reverse Brexit because it would mean accepting the Euro (and that's gay)
>is that white nose off YouTube?>AAAHHHHHHHH>....AHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>201644850nah going on a likkle bike ride in a bit, might go round my mates tomorrow, something of a social butterfly me
>>201644889gimp
>>201644868These are dogshit since the sugar tax came in
>>201644914hs?
You lads need some Oasis tickets? Happy to sell you some for £5000 each
>>201644954>Oasisdogshit
>>201644962no the band not the drink
>>201644983i know
I wish I could be an outdoors man and do cool wild bush type things but instead I was born in England, the middle of a city, and would be completely useless outside of the city thanks no exposure in my life
>>201644889>artistsDJs.Whom play yank trashhttps://youtu.be/OyQ2I-hTV8s?si=zeY3SNNFjo-NteNv
>You lads need some Oasis tickets? Happy to sell you some for £5000 each
>>201644991don't think you do I meant tickets to go see the rock band Oasis and not tickets to buy the fruit flavoured water
threatening to take dogberg to the pound if he doesn't stop misbehaving
>>201644995just play rdr2 la
Deano just said he got Oasis tickets and uploaded a bottle of Oasis in the group chat. PMSL. Fucking legendary banter Deano mate.
>>201644995not too late to learn
Im WINTERTAL..
evening laddoshow's it going (beering)
>>201644813
rorkestead... i'm from rorkestead
it's nearly cricket o clock
LETS PRETEND WE'RE BUNNY RABBITS
>>201645037oi hang on mate he can't help it
>>201645080Erdbeermund
any of you lads got oasis tickets then? I managed to get 3 for Murrayfield :)
>>201645107well the sad part is he's a purebred poodle and less than 2 years old so if i took him to the pound he'd get adopted instantly so it's kind of an empty threat
poor lass...
>>201644995ktim and the wish to live wild somewhere in africa like botswana
>>201645126Ask your mates. Not us
>>201645092It's Over, thief, die with the honor of a Nord
>>201645126wake me up when it's the smiths reunion
>>201645133swings and roundaboutsbet he'd rather have your company than adjusting to a new family though
wonder if oasis will write any new songs, and if they do, if anyone will care
>>201645149read in the news the other day that won't be happening due to Morrissey being the most unlikeable cunt on the planet
most people that smoke in the UK are now buying their tobacco from abroad to avoid the huge UK tobacco tax.
turns out she's innocent lads
>>201645190feel for marrsounds like a genuinely decent man
currently in an online queue for oasis tickets. got 200,000 people ahead of me. at the rate that number is decreasing it will be 2am before i am at the front of the queue and able to buy tickets, by which point i assume they'll be sold out. shambles by ticketmaster.
>>201645176why do british women think orange skin and caveman eyebrows are attractive
>>201645176never quite understood great britain's unique obsession with fake tanthought it was a phase at first, but so many of them still do it
Noel Gallagher & Liam Gallagher, kissing, on stage at Glasgow Green Festival (2000)
>>201645213Marr didnt want to do it because morrissey voted for brexit that's it. Pathetic little grub of a man.
has there ever been a good reunion tour?
>>201645176my best friend from childhood turned into one of these
got 4 tickets just after 9 this morning, wonder how much I can sell them to the runts for
>>201645231>shambles by ticketmasterthey do this on purpose to drive up pricesthey're just legal touts
>>201645231yeah no good aye lad
>>201645231can tell you dont try to buy tickets to anything popular that's how it is literally everytime nowyou'll get thorugh at teh end and it's like SUPER VIP £3,000 ticket leftand £150 wheel chair support user ticket leftit's a jokeyou lost the lottery when u got put into the queue so you're fuckedhappens everytime to me with these thingstried so many times for eurovision tickets
>>201645204Private Eye did a pretty good investigation
yeah make sure you give all your money to rich people to see them play music or football
>>201645252
>>201645248that and being the most unlikeable cunt on the planet
>>201645248pints with moz
>>201645261BIBLICAL x
Moved out of London. fml it really is over
Zoomers aren't drinking, smoking, or engaging in any risky behaviour.It's now coming from wisdom. They're addicted to their phones and social media instead.
lads. shag Katie Price but it meant you had to spend an hour a week hanging out with Harvey would you do it?
I'm on the nightrainReady to crash and burn, I never learnI'm on the nightrain, I love that stuffI'm on the nightrain and I can never get enoughI'm on the nightrain, never to return, no
>>201645204well if the experts are saying it it must be true
>>201645260aussie deanos are a real thing
>>201645321No, can I just hang out with big harv anyway?
>>201645321can i pal about with harv and not have to deal with katie price instead?
>>201645321nah, not after the 'oo 'ic
>>201645329yeah he used to manage a night club on the gold coast so he's about as deanified as you can get
>>201645322TRAIN?!
I am position 109292 in the queue for a gig at a 70k capacity venue.So that's all good.
>>201645315howling can tell you have no interactions with zoomers
>>201645350No idea how you can walk around in public knowing that millions of strangers have seen that 'ic
>>201645354crikey
is it just me or did chelsea buy everyone in the world yet sell the one guy who could hit the target
Japanese fella wearing a bumbag and walking fast
i luve cheeeseburger
>>201645408american fella wearing jandals and harrassing someone for directions
>>201645404>the one guy who could hit the target
>>201645385Yeah that ruined it for me, completely destroyed any sexual attraction
>>201645385>>201645439what are you lads on about
>>201645367https://youtu.be/w3u9WC9TLi0?si=qZWP7LL1WL30MPuwThis you?
can't be doing with these falling leaves
maddie a qt
>>201645322Patrician taste
>>201645458not a steam train so no couldn't be arsed
you lads are blooming mental if you wouldn't shag Katie Price
superglueing the leaves back on
>>201645456https://desuarchive.org/int/search/text/katie%20price%20poo%20pic/
>>201645456For your own good, it's better you don't know, lad x
>>201645404It's just you. Sterling was horrific last season he started off well for a month and then utterly shit the bed.
lads that steam train nonce is back
>>201645477sweetie. Would love to live in a cottage and go to farmers markets with her
Remembering when The Stone Roses reformed and it seemed like everyone forgot they had 6 tracks, at a push, worth listening to They soon remembered!
>>201645501>>201645504what the
Morning team. Last day of August today.
watching futurama
>>201645489>bogged woman pushing 50 known for being a slut, being shat on and having a disabled half black sonYeah. Prime real estate really
pokemon soundtracks are much better than they have any right to be
>>201645508ye his finishing over his career is just as unlucky as mudrik or whoever. but he is at this stage finally experienced enough to know what to do in front of the goal. more so than the rest of them
I miss skype
>>201645404>sell the one guyDidn't even sell him He's on loan for no loan fee and they're even covering half the wages The rentboys got bent FULLY over, but then they like that
>>201645555how much money do you make?Before and after tax please
>>201645252faith no more the second coming
>>201645555morning mate. you finally got a date for getting the old willy chopped off then?
>>201645555morning mate, hopefully september is the month
>>201645567remember MSN?
>>201645560She's a pot noodle. Ready to go in an instant
what's more unhealthy, beer or tobacco?
walked into the break room this morning and someone shouted "there he is. top shagger!". I looked over both shoulders then pointed at my chest and said "me?".Getting better at social interactions lads
>>201645567was never quite sure why everyone abandoned it for discord>>201645598was never quite sure why everyone abandoned it for skype
talking about football yeah really interesting tell me more
>>201645619depends
The frogposter imagined a situation where someone called him a shagger Didn't even imagine losing his virginity or anything, that would be too far
>>201645569and replaced him with sancho. isnt he a rapist or something
lasagne for teafew peas in therebroad beansgreen beansspinachmushroomsa very earthy dish i expect
>>201645619tobacco
>>201645477nice thighs
two tier kiers woke stasi media laying the groundwork for their next move
>>201645581Don't know specifically.But generally I get £400 PIP, about £500 Universal Credit and £1200 wages every month ON AVERAGE.>>201645592They won't do it because I have nobody to take me to surgery and take me back and look after me during recovery.>>201645594I like September TBF. August hasn't been particularly bad for me though.
>>201645619Depends how you take your tobacco
the latest waste of money
>>201645623dunno about you but for me when MSN shut down everyone I knew just went to facebook and cbf'd skype
>>201645671people were jumping ship from MSN long before it shut down
>>201645246including tongue
>>201645661wasn't the tories' plan to ban smoking completely?
>>201645619there is no world where beer is more unhealthy than tobacco, unless you're a crippling alcoholic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Fu_uld7SIQ
Last day of summer today as it were
Remember I've got to go for a day out with my older sister tomorrow to do some shopping and have lunch somewhere.
duckett GONE
>>201645663>But generally I get £400 PIP, about £500 Universal Credit and £1200 wages every month ON AVERAGEWhat the fuck. I work full time and barely make more than that after tax. Finished country
>>201645690i'm a 27 year old boomer so that wasn't the case for me
>>201645719would shag you both rotten
ye still another 15 hours left in the oasis queue lads, just redid the numbers. it's not on.
desgosting people
report him to the DWP
Arsenal XI: Raya; White, Saliba, Gabriel, Timber; Ødegaard, Partey, Rice; Saka, Havertz, Trossard. Brighton XI: Verbruggen; Veltman, Dunk, Van Hecke, Hinshelwood; Baleba, Milner; Minteh, Joao Pedro, Mitoma; Welbeck.
>>201645762I am SEETHING
People at work always think I'm a shagger. I'm not. I'm just tall, have a car, lift weights and have the autism where you stand their silently instead of talking about digimon or trains.
>>201645733how are you paid that little?boggles the mind
>>201645734i'm a 29 year old boomer and it was for me
>$1,187 a month stolen from the taxpayers to sate a tranny's final fantasy addictionbroken britain. and he has the gall to ridicule struggling parents
>>201645753fuck you and your ticket
>>201645801mental how the world worksfor us 27 year old ultra-zoomers we clung on until the bitter end
>>201645693did they ever do bum sex
why don't you lads have ST filtered
>>201645753have they said how much tickets are?
he doesn't need pip or uc
>>201645814rude. i was going to invite you along but you can't come just for that.
>>201645786I'm a trainee and this is my first job. Still rankles me that a STRIVER like me has to pay a portion of my wage so that a SCROUNGER like that can mince around pretending to be a woman
>>201645833why would i?if i don't like a post i simply scroll past it
>>201645649I watched a lot of sterling last season but not a lot of sancho. Did he even play much? I don't think he could possibly have been as bad as sterling.
>>201645833I don't believe in filtering. I believe everybody has a right to speak whatever is on their mind.
>>201645176imagine wanting people to know you have fake teeth as a status symbolimagine wanting people to be aware that you paid money to have your perfectly healthy teeth shaved down to nubs and then topped with fakes which will eventually need to be replaced possibly numerous times just as a way of showing off that you can afford itimagine thinking glow in the dark chiclet teeth look nice because they look expensivesomething quite eerie about it
>>201645835don't be silly lad they only tell you when you get to the front of the queue after 15 hours of queuing. have read the cheapest ones are £75 though.
i'm in total disbelief how is it not a wakeup call for you all that your government gives this retard a $1,187 hand out every month for no reason whatsoever.our government abolished this kind of nanny state welfare 30 years ago
>>201645779"sure" they do mate
bored might have another wank and then a showermight kill myself for a laugh
>>201645713Which beach are you going?
>>201645875that's like having a hole in a roof and letting the rain come in
Hate consuming media made by other people like music and sports and tv. Something about it isn't nice.
wonder what the world will be like in 1000 yearshonestly think we'll be wiped out by AI or nuked back to the stone age within a century
>>201645832yes and fisting as well
the norf is not all lost
Daddy long legs are getting bigger and spiders are now neon coloured. Climate change is real.
>>201645903off to the pub with you asap
>>201645934but theyre brothers?!
>>201645898M8 your politicians passed a law yesterday giving free loans to illegal immigrants to buy houses.
>>201645915Probs gonna go in septemberBeach can be a bit overrated imho
>>201645930with any luck it will happen before we all have to go back to work on monday
>>201645898and what do you propose the average brit does about it? Britain hasn't been a functioning democracy for decades we don't have any say in anything. The average brit has always been opposed to Bennie scroungers and mass immigration and it's made fuck all difference
>>201645786Somebody working full time (38 hours a week) on "national living wage" takes home about £1,650 after tax. Assuming they don't pay any pension, loans, etc.The average rent in England in July 2024 was £1,310.Country's a joke.
>>201645946least deluded greeniac
I have hidden disabilities and it's all above board.
>>201645930>>201645963more of a glass half full person me
any certified fluff men in
>>201645996Fuck you
>>201645967don’t worry we’ll cram in a few million more pakisimmigrants solve all the countries problems
>>201645967Average rent may be that, but that is avereage, half way between high and low end. You can rent a place for £500
>>201645967yeah no good mate something seriously wrong there, even accounting for currency conversion
>>201645996Vile scrounger
currently having a virgin coffee by myself at an undisclosed cafe in Glasgow city centre
>>201645955it's some kind of occult thing to do with taboos and breaking boundaries in order to become more powerfullots of people in show business do it but it's secret
>>201645956you can choose to believe bullshit clickbait headlines, i won't stop you. our politicians make perpetual promises to use govt land for the kind of free immigrant housing you're describing, especially during election years, and it never ever happens. an illegal immigrant has never got a free down payment in this country.>>201645965i don't know man. i'm sorry.
The older I've got the more I have lost my sanity and the world seems more and more like a meaningless flu dream
>>201646002for me it's "the glass is too big"
>>201646039how's the air quality today
>>201646031The median annual earnings in the United Kingdom was £34,963 British pounds per year in 2023. Their take home pay would be around £2,390. Again assuming they pay zero pension or student loans or anything, which they all do.Average rent is 55% of average after tax pay in this country.
>>201646071People who come under the refugee act in America are given free houses or apartments, the same as any other Western country.
having powerful arse wankgetting my whole arm up there and powerfully thrusting and rummaging around it’s a proper mess up there, fucking filthy
>>201646039good lad
don't really care about bennie scroungers me
>>201646046Breaking taboos is so much fun. And hot. Can’t blame them!
>>201646100Pretty good, nice sunny day. It was the usual smelly air under the bridge at central but it’s always like that there. There’s also a protest outside the Barclays on Argyll street, some shite about Palestine.
who the fuck is this tashka lass outer/int/ keeps posting about?
>>201646132imagine if your mother saw this postshame on you
>>201646123?
*smashes the 5th wall*
k hn nea faav aavve uney dgl is o
mental how you can live to be 100 and spend the entire latter two thirds of it thinking you're old
>>201646173why are you on outer int? fucking wogshow there’s nothing worth seeing there
>>201646158well said tbf lad, it's enflaming but it is ultimately just a distraction
>>201645946saw this bugger in the baff last night
>>201646170actually I think noel was just passing a drug to liam in those photosyou sick pervert
>>201646184https://www.ons.gov.uk/economy/inflationandpriceindices/bulletins/privaterentandhousepricesuk/june2024?
>>201645965Yh that’s it, keep whining about benny scroungers and expect everyone to turn up to soul crushing jobs king>>201645996You keep doing you fella
>>201646158thing is i dont believe their estimatesthey estimated they was like 500k people from eu to were staying herewhen they did the right to remain shit turned out there were 3 million +the stats aren't worth the paper they're printed on
me? I don't plan on dying. too much to do.
bewildering take
>>201646191If you wanked at least once a day from the age of 14 onwards, then that would be around thirty thousand wanks over the space of 86 years.
>>201646191read an interesting article recently citing a study which showed that people tend to think they're much younger in their head than they actually are if they're 40 or over, and people in their late teens and early 20s think they're older than they are in their heads
>>201646191quite mad the idea of living to 50 and only being halfway done
>>201646158what does "benefits unclaimed" mean?
don’t blame tax evaders at allI kept £12k of my last £30k pay rise which is a fucking disgrace what’s the point with returns like that
>>201646191The course of most people’s lives is well and truly set by the time they’re like 22. Arguably long before that with regards to their upbringing. >dude you can retrain as a doctor aged 40no one does thoughbeit
>>201646229ah yes don't believe the actual numbers, just go on gut feel lad can tell you're a thinker
>>201646158Where's the circle representing "benefits paid out that wouldn't be if we were a normal country"
>>201646158that's naive.5.5 million people claim Universal Credit and PIP in the UK. That's £1,000 per month * 5.5 million * 12 months in a year.It's fucking massive.Also, most tax avoidance is priced into the tax system so is irrelevant in a sense.
>>201646261>no one does thoughbeitmaybe because of naysayers like you
>In Great Britain, average rent was highest in Kensington and Chelsea (£3,397) and lowest in Dumfries and Galloway (£480).Might move to Dumfries and Galloway.
>>201646124nice job shameless changing your point.yes we take 30k refugees a year, a miniscule drop in the bucket in a country of 330 million. Under the refugee act. they then get $2,000 a month for 12 months and after that they're on their own. Trump managed to get it down to 15k a year but they reversed it post-covid
>>201646279you tell him mate
>>201646218Give it a go. Breaking taboos can make you feel alive!
Welfare bill is 55% of total expenditure yearly
>>201646158most benefit fraud is captures in stats as legitimate. people leave work for long covid or have depression or anxiety technically meet the standards of the dwp and get doctor's notes etcbut it doens't change the fact that it's still a lie. just that everyone's in on it
>>201646257Monstrous. Makes me want to flee to Dubai
any of you lads seen the falkirk wheel?
>>201646304seethe on toilfreak
>>201646269are you illiterate? it says estimates you utter retard
>>201646304That’s it keep licking corporate boot, everyone should go to work regardless of how they feel
>>201646304tsmt. Used to volunteer for citizens advice and you would not believe the number of people out there who basically just choose not to work and still get to claim UC entirely legitimately
>>201646338>>201646327why are you booing me im right
>>201646331yeh that's much less accurate than your feelings lad that's what i was saying
>>201646235RETARD FIGHT
>>201646221?
mad how I’m sat here in this cafe and everyone around me is normal with jobs, friends, relationships etcfeel like an outsider, like I don’t belong and need to scurry home to the safety of my virgin boxroom flat
>>201646362didn't say anything about my feelings did I you illiterate retardi referenced an actual recent real world example of how bad their estimates are, fuck me you're thick as all
>>201646324no but i've seen the wheels on my car, that tyre tread should last for years
catberg looking at me funnythink she knows i need a poo
>>201646385Calm down batteredbumhole lad
>>201646287Actually quite peng round there
>A London school is launching the UK's first AI-taught classroom
>>201646391good lad
>>201646397you've been utterly done
rimming a poo
>>201646397
if you're under 25 your opinion on anything doesn't matter in the slightest
>>201646384howling this is me whenever i leave the housestill feels better leaving the house than never doing soeven if it's just "phew at least i'm home">>201646429this but for under 34 (my age)
Teachbot 3000 asking Jamal for dick pics
farting nonstop for the past 30mins
>>201646384I couldn't even sit in a cafe alone, too much autism
>>201646429we should employ the barstaff of wetherspoons and the tesco worker on the self service checkouts who 'think 25' to work the polling stations
>>201646461>>201646461>>201646461
>>201646440sorry bro 35 is the cut off and it's going up next year
When you're twenty-one, you're no fun
>>201646453thought autistics liked being alone
>>201646304correct, mad that some people ITT who probably think they're pretty clever were stupid enough to look at that graphic and think "oh well thats not too bad then is it"
>>201646448you'd think you'd be all farted out by now
>>201646370>>201646221>>201646184>>201646123Regardless of all these ''''facts'''' if you look on rightmove you can rent for £500 in a full sized apartment or house depending on location
