sophisticated humor-edition
You always had a chance, just never took responsibility
>>202049960what do you call a fish in a bowtie?so-fish-ticatedhuehuehuehuehuehue
>>202049991congrats on coming to the US brazilbro
Tomorrow's my last day then I go back to a normie flag
>>202050027who ores
I love most of you
>>202050074EVEN ME?
>>202050074who is the exception?
The haitian eating cats in ohio story is so retarded that I'm actually a little concerned that anyone believes this shit. It's not even a "connect the dots!" thing like pizza gate.
applying for bottom of the barrel wagie jobs truly makes me feel like i'd be better off dead
Should rename Christianity "Paulianity" or something, since without him the religion would've died out during the Roman-Jewish wars. Probably understood Jesus better than all the apostles did combined.
>>202050093Then apply something where you can progress
>>202050093just move to evropa where even the grocery store wagies get a billion dollars per annum.
got my mind on your body and your body on my mind~~
>>202050089Ratpedo and the politics posters
You're right, I DO have a case of The Mondays.
on my first break at my new job, chill so far, there's a ukrainian working here oddly enough
>>202050091>American Black guy goes to city council meeting and complains Haitian refugees are slaughtering ducks in parks and eating them>city has been flooded with haitians courtesy of the Federal gov't>suddenly various unrelated cat stories go viralreally makes you wonder...
Menopause must be such a motherfucker if it makes hags act like fucking demons
>>202050126You don't mind the foreign flag posters?
>>202050146at least in my area, a huge influx of ukranians came over after the crimean invasion in 2014. i've matched with a few on dating apps.
What do you think will be the high water mark for the percentage of people who don't own homes? 95%?
>>202050181this is the first i've met and he's 100% a draft dodger, can't say i blame him doe
>>202050146In the bars in Buenos Aires Ukranian and Russian cowards share beers and relax. I saw it
>>202050175I don't like most of them, but i still love them.I don't love the shitsraeli either
>tfw lived in a flyover state>worked with only like 2 foreign born people who weren't latinx
hey-de-hey.
Think I might have found the one, bros.
>>202050199how far into the future are we talking? something like 60% of americans own their home, it's more common than not.
should I play FFX or more wolf 3D?
>>202050237How
>>202050256Play FFX-2 instead
>>202050282>play the sequel that relies on having played the first game
youngest brother has developed a taste for weird ass arthouse films and forces my mother to watch them at night. and they're not even the interesting type of arthouse it's always about a romance of some kind.
im back
>>202050289>it's always about a romance of some kind.based
Cum con bagenie
>>202050293welcome back
US Virgin Islands? Unincorporated, organized territory? No; to Statehood! >Territory of US Virgin IslandsNow the US State of Sex-Having Islands >US Territory of American SamoaAmerican Samoa State>US Territory of GuamIt's fucking Guam. What else does it need to be called?>Territory of Northern Mariana IslandsNorthern Marinara Islands>Puerto RicoState of San Juan Bautista (or New Dominican Republic) >District of ColumbiaDistrict of Columbia, with the National Mall (along with other federal buildings of importance) split off from the new state of DC and made into the City of Washington>State of WashingtonRenamed State of Losers and Posers who can't come up with their own unique nameThis is how we save the country from the 50+ year old white people who're running it into the ground.
>>202050311sexo con cum?
>>202050289what is the most quintessential human experience if not love?anyways i'm gonna go jerk it to wmaf webms on /gif/ you guys have fun.
It looks like I don’t get to back to Japan until February.
>>202050326why
>>202050238Most homeowners are probably over 40 or 50>>202050093The more I learn about working class life in this country the more I'm convinced we need something radical.
>>202050324it's incredibly strange that an 18 year old boy wants to watch the shit he's watching. standing here trying to enjoy my leftovers and all I can hear is singing in French. zoomers are some really weird people.
>>202050316Fucking lmao
>>202050289>watching romance films with momnigga
>>202050288You don't need to play X first. Its more of a spinoff than a sequel
remember to get a consistent sleep schedule and sleep for 7-8 hours
I've been accused of being a bad hugger.
>>202050320Could be
>>202050093>>202050345Same but to be fair, life for the common man as been shit for 95% of human history. Beats the 19th century with no safety laws and people breaking the backs working 12+ hours a day
I've been accused of being a bed hogger
legs: colddisposition: irritablebooze: what i have
my favorie french film is le samourai because he's a cool and quiet protagonist just like me.
Me?Canadian
Nap in 15 minutes
need aloe vera for my neck
>>202050376she's asked him to turn some of them off when they get "inappropriate". it's like he's creating these nightmarish scenarios and just sitting there waiting for a reaction. don't know how to interpret this.
>>202050453i don't wanna
I have a twin bed, and if the girl thinks there isn't enough room for two, I tell her she should lose weight.
laptop is unbanned.felt like years 2bh
I worry if I get in a relationship it turns out I'm some sort of freak
>>202050406That's a low bar. Early industrial England for example was a hellscape.
Do Americans have city funded leisure centres that have swimming pool and stuff?
>>202050467what'd you do
>>202050435my condolences>>202050490my small town in the sticks has a big community pool. Had a lot of wonderful, wonderful summers there
>>202050490i have city funded guatemalans and haitians
she doesnt like me back. im upset for tonight lads
As a follow-up, this is 100% true no matter how much foaming at the mouth it causes. The electoral college is simply one massive affirmative action program for rural white America. If their votes weren't weighed more than the votes of everyone else, they'd whine they weren't being provided a ladder to help them overcome the stigma of being utterly unqualified to be giving their irrational opinions on anything ever.
>>202050505ban evasion
>>202050490anecdotally, those are usually not publicly-funded and are more HOA-funded in nicer neighborhoods.
>furniture delivery delayed>moving company delivery delayed>lease start date delayed>can't sign up for basic things because I didn't have a US address at the time>even work stuff is delayeddude what the fuck goddamn it moving to NYC of all places shouldn't be this hard
>>202050537I see you're trying to get your laptop banned again.
>>202050528fuck that dumb bitch
>>202050542meant for>>202050496>>202050556not me. im not some politics obsessed glue eater
>>202050546any moving across national borders will have lots of logistical challenges.
>>202050546Why do you think things would work well in JYS when the people doing those jobs are retard tier ESL's
>moving to poo yorkLMAOOO
>>202050546also>can't pay off my debts and bills bills because my work for whatever retarded reason is consolidating the biweekly pay into one month for September
>willingly living in NYC
>>202050546Please don't let those things get in the way of enjoying the best city in America. Hope you enjoy yourself when you get here. I will welcome you as a brother.
>>202050585>>202050578it's a stepping stone I don't want to be here forever
>>202050537you posted this spurious claim already, /cum/'s greatest minds have already dismissed it as provocative poppycock
>>202050563naww its alright. I gotta accept I cant control everything if im ugly im ugly
>>202050596Thank you brother, I even ate a burger for dinner in honor of living in America
ha! yeah, what a bunch of faggots, living in new york...>whiles away in las vegas
>>202050490IME they're often membership funded. We desperately need public gyms and pools though.
>4°C tomorrow morningit's over
>>202050609pew pew!
>>202050636The beginning of the end
>>202050625I'd rather live in Vegas, but I'd really rather live in neither
>>202050636comfy
>>202050636I woke up in beautiful sunny southern California today and it was 90 degrees at 8am.
cow and cornfields dont vote, thats just the way it is.
>>202050631>We desperately need public gyms and pools though.nah the private ones are way better, they keep the riff raff out
>>202050679Just because I'm a cow doesn't mean you can restrict my inalienable right to vote.*chews cud*
>>202050537if you have a problem with rural whites then who exactly are you and what are you doing in my country?
>>202050700you cant even hold the pen to mark the ballot, you bovine
i can't imagine anything public being good
For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.
nigga you are BRAZILLIAN
>>202050709Clearly you underestimate the dexterity of my tongue. Ask your mother, she knows all about it.*moos*
>>202050717too expensive nowadays
>>202050724In Brasilia, mere existence is heavenly. God shines down upon you and your tropical paradise with big bunda and nature's bounty to share with all.
>>202050672Just checked the forecast for SoCal and it seems rather humid these days, at least on the coast. Though if you ignore the humidity, it does seem pretty much perfect.
Do you like toast?
>>202050690t. rich boomer
>>202050717spicy one is better
>>202050637
>>202050773yes, i toast to your health.
went to chick-fil-a for lunch$14.30 for>spicy chicken deluxe>large fries>banana pudding milkshakebidenomics really did a number on this country
>>202050830
>>202050830this is my exact order but just the regular spicy chicken and a regular fryexcellent taste anon
how do you cope with going from smoking weed all day every day to cold turkey?
>>202050840you don't, the next three to five days are going to be very frustrating. avoid as many social interactions as possible.
>>202050840I take edibles once a week, its not that hard to wean myself
i think it's over buds
bitches all over my dick
>>202050830In Canada that would be $18.07 aand we don't have the banana milkshake, you do not suffer in America
>>202050962oh wait, he said large fries, more like $19, americans have never known suffering
I accidentally forced a /fit/ meme that's now gone on for over 4 years
i often forget that humans are meat crayons, jelly in a sack, completely disposable at the slightest whims of nature.
What can I do to pull a bitch with short hair?
Why does no one want to dance with me?
>>202051067on a freaking rock in freaking space no less...
>>202051078>virgin island
>>202051081please stop being mean to me. i did nothing weird.
me? yes im shallow af
https://youtu.be/s4rh3YrFiEMhttps://youtu.be/s4rh3YrFiEMhttps://youtu.be/s4rh3YrFiEM
>>202051098this but unironically
>>202051072have you tried talking to them?
>>202051109I'm going to pee in your face you hohol
get his ass
>>202051111Why would I do that?
Niggers are America's gods. Americans fear niggers like a mortal would fear God. They're not allowed to curse or speak ill of niggers, like how you mustn't blaspheme God or take His name in vain. They devote entire institutions in academia and media to remind themselves of their sins against niggers and beg for mercy, like you'd beg God for forgiveness for your sins. The only landmarks and monuments they're allowed to revere are parks, schools and statues dedicated to famous niggers, immortalized in marble like gods. While their ancestors expressed devotion to gods through offerings of food and drink, present-day Americans created food stamps for niggers for this very purpose. Jesus gets two annual days of reverence, while niggers get an entire month plus MLK's birthday. Americans prostrate themselves in the streets to appease niggers. This is because nigger worship is the official religion of America. American culture is centered around niggers. They have holidays for niggers. They killed hundreds of thousands of white men to free niggers. They listen to nigger music. They elect a nigger as their president. They dress and act like niggers. They draw the entirety of their modern culture from niggers. They post sassy gifs about niggers. They watch sportsball in worship of niggers. Their biggest event of the year involves throwing parties in honor of niggers playing sports. They use nigger slang like "bruh" and "thot". When you say "Martin Luther" they're not thinking of the father of protestantism. They're thinking of the nigger. Their cities are completely overrun with niggers. They worship their ZOGbot police force disproportionately filled with niggers and their global police force of soldiers filled with niggers. Their men sit around watching nigger ball while their women sit around watching nigger talk shows. They worship niggers like Muhammad Ali and Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson and the late Mike Tyson while attacking the whites who built their country.
We're bringing this back in the Post-Collapse USA
that do be tru tho
using chatgpt for rizz
>>202051145about 83% accurate
>>202050724literally me ^^
i have a really big head, for being so stupid.
>>202051212same. water on the brain probably
gn
>>202051254what's good about it
>>202051266you *smooch*
>>202051159me in the far left
>>202051282mwah
slow /cum/ today, one of the regulars banned or something?
>>202051304wads the dranslations?? :DDD
>>202051304spinster got a boyfriend and jason is MIA. turns out the two of them account for 60% of all non ratpedo posts
i'm going to be alone shortly. i always want solitude, but always woefully unprepared when it arrives. i can hear it now. i'm going to answer the door. give me a minute...
>>202051304I'm playing FFX
I'm sick and everything hurts. Waiting until I get tired enough to go to sleep
>>202051370it's barely september you're not supposed to be sick yet
>>202051322>It’s a pity that elephants don’t understand what Russian melancholy really is))) there are not many creatures on planet earth who can understand really)))
where do you get your ideas
>>202051416jews
>>202051411dhat is a bity :DDD
>>202051416things i feel, but i would never put those anywhere permanent.
would it be racist to use Mr. Roboto in a Gundam live-action series?
drinking milk
Fuck hiccups
American black pipo are now addicted to nitrous oxide
resolved myself to the fact that i'll never have a gf now i'm contending with the likelihood that i'll never have any f at all
looking at googlemaps and it seems those vagrants and covid really fucked seattle up. it wasnt always some stinky gray landfill
>>202051613Cascadia has fallen, millions must move to Red states to repeat their old politics.
lets be honest, we're never having sex in our lives
2019
>>202051633I was a KHHV until 25, you have a chance
I have a coworker who is a womanizer, there is no way that guy has an iq over 95, and he is compulsive and violent. He manages it though.
>>202051653>a womanizer>he is compulsive and violentyeah foids love that, not surprising at all
2024
>>202051653>manages ityou say as if any of that is a deficit when dealing with women
empty hollow shell of a man, me
>>202051332>spinster got a boyfriendsource?
>>202051633tsmt>>202051678ktim
>>202051683yo momma
>>202050091The Underwear Bandits MC is on their way to Ohio to get the situation under control!
>>202051332spinster used to reply to nearly every post in the thread, that really got the general through off-peak hours tbqh
>>202050091i believe it
>>202051659>>202051665Yeah doesn't seem to hard when he talks about it. I don't have the stomach to be an asshole though.
https://youtu.be/7ae0TGSvGFghttps://youtu.be/7ae0TGSvGFghttps://youtu.be/7ae0TGSvGFg
>>202051683someone else said it and i'm propagating misinformation
Fuck these fucking hiccups
>>202051727>>202051690>regular poster is busy for two nights>everyone starts spreading rumorsu guys are like lil children
>>202051626round up every goddamn vagrant and line themup against a wall
https://www.cnn.com/2024/09/09/us/rancho-palos-verdes-california-landslide/index.htmlA bunch of rich Californian's homes are going to collapse into the ocean within the next couple years, stay tuned
>>202051736https://www.youtube.com/shorts/c0UWhMr2vI8
>>202051771if you're living a beach side villa in california you probably have 5 other summer homes you can retreat to
there’s two endings for a guy like me. high-profile guy. dead, or in the can. big percent of the time.
If you were a real regular poster you would know that the so called "spinster" is just Grayson's tranny persona
>>202051771>they all get insurance claims paid>meanwhile the next forest fire will destroy thousands of homes who will all be denied coveragewewlad
jason scared her away because only he can be the attention hog diva of cum.
>>202051817actually she scared jason away, that's what he said in the /fa/ thread lol
Stupid people should not be allowed to talk back to smart people
me after winning (yet again) on rocketman games
>>202051837why would he be scared of her
>>202051845He is extremely mentally ill
>>202051837she also scared gosh pedo away and probably several other unnamed posters that's why normies took over
jason is literally spinster, you morons.
>>202051845>heJason goes by she/her pronouns
>>202051845who can presume to understand jasonian thought
me thinks i need to set my end date.
dat ASS
posting in /cum/ from the bathtub haha
>>202051845trannies hate biowomen
Jesus was genetically engineered by non human intelligence according to Bob Lazar
>>202051771Social security is such a fucking scam, I subsidize literal retards
Bbq Beef rib meat and a garlic butter seafood medley for din din
>>202051897this sweet ass nigga taking a bath
>>202051897post pic with timestamp
>>202051904That was an original plot point in Prometheus before they scrapped it
>>202051897nigga probably giggles as he calls his girlfriends in the phone and twirls the wire while kicking his legs
>>>/r9k/78759621well? which one?
>>202052055neither cause im a volcel
>>202052055height
>>202052055height. im already above average dick size
>>202052055my dick is already skinny it would look even skinnier if it was longer so height
>>202052055that thread is such a sperg fest, but I'd swallow my pride and take height, dick would only matter to like 20 people max, height would be a factor in all of my social interactions
>>202052055Dick easy. I'm 6'+, size 14 feet, large hands. But nope god cursed me with a pain averagely dick
Fucking fuck these fucking hiccups
GN for real this time
I hate how no one can read more than a few sentences online anymore. Everyone is an illiterate fucking retard who calls anything longer than a text yapping
i aint reading allat
>>202052225bluds yapping :joy:
i got places to be, not reading your novel
yap yap yap
>>202052225lol it happens here too, it's like 4 sentences but mobilefags see a paragraph and ignore it
>>202052184would you just hold your breath already? you know that cures it right? look, breathe deep, in your stomach, hold for thirty seconds. God!
But Nick is a guy's name!
>>202052251Already tried. What worked was box breathing
>>202052280then if it worked, fuck off! fuck off with your hiccups, you idiot!
>>202052196https://youtu.be/56IZMGxG8r8
>>2020520556'3" OR7.5" weinerhmmm. all gravy really
anything longer than 6.5" is uselessgirth is everythingi would be unstoppable with another inch to my girth
new job update: fucked up building a pallet and it collapsed when the forklifter went to grab it, spilled every single box and everyone's mad at me know kek, not my problem
>>202052414wtf is that webum?
My impression of Russians is that they have a greater capacity to endure suffering than other peoples, a spiritual resilience, as it were.
>>202052414based, fuck forklifters
woah. okay. sorry. i'm very sorry for calling a man an idiot. jesus, what is wrong with me?! man. i need to cool down. cool down... jesus christ, i really am sorry, guy. i don't know why i posted that. something juat bubbled up in my veins.
>>202052414new job soon to become old job
>>202052429average day in nyc
>>202052430they commit a lot of suicide
>>202052430They drink a lot of alcohol to cope
>>202052459Yes, but given their circumstances the suicide rate should be much higher.
>>202052488most of them are self suicidal, hardly doubt they are strong as they claim
Hit 180 lbs shoulder pressFailed on 190
>>202052488They have the 10th highest suicide rate in the world, poor countries in Africa have less suicide
ice cold beer goes with a hot bath :)
>>202052561dilate
>>202052561bath bombs?
>>202052561jason-esque
>>202052561
rikku my wife
>/int/ used to have a ridiculously pro-russia mod/jannies>replaced with ridiculously pro-ukraine mod/jannies>/int/ currently has a ridiculously pro-india mod/jannieshow long before the SAARs are replaced? I got tons of AI jeet shit webms to post
>>202052561what kind of tranny doesn't paint their toenails
>>202052561missed your smooth legs bby <3
>>202052605>I got tons of AI jeet shit webms to postdo they still get asshurt if you crosslink them?
Ate too much BBQ beef now I don't have room for the garlic butter seafood medley, i suffer
>>202052618the anatomy of those legs are distinctly male, retard
>>202052605there's wont be anymore, this is the end game
>>202052655he never said any different, retard
With 9/11 being tomorrow I just wanna say that I was three when it happened, so all I remember was my parents making this face at the TV and telling me that I need to remember what was happening. I didn't give a shit about the towers or terrorism, I was a toddler. I just got the whole toilet thing down.
>>202052655that's not news to me
>>202052668I was 14 when it happened. didnt care then. just wanted to go back to bed
>>202052634>do they still get asshurt if you crosslink them?they seem to search the image hash and delete on any board, even /pol/. I haven't tried crosslinking /b/ thoughbeit
me? im jelly of women's teeth and lips
>>202052668muslim kid came to my school like a week or 2 later with a Twin Towers burning t-shirt and got sent to the principals office
>>202052698wouldn't changing a single pixel change the hash?
>>202052701You want woman-like skin, hair, and teeth? There's an easy solution to that.
>>202052737>You want woman-like skin, hair, and teeth?that would be amazing desu desu
>>202052727as far as webms go, you'd need to re-encode it
>>202052725Deadass funny as shit
>>202052727yes but that doesn't work for webms easily which is why they seem to chimp out much more at those than AI jpgs
>>202052414Dylan still there yes or no? Julio? Still blasting 90s nu-metal? How many times has Headstrong played so far? G-Eazy?
slow your roll, wagie
>>202052825Me in my subaru
>>202052824dylan i dont think so, julio idk unless hes the forklift guy, dude training me is 19 and blasting cringe russian music mixed with congo bop, definitely worst in slot so far
the beginning of fall always makes me feel a certain way
>>202052851i miss my shitbox honda
>>202052874SameSAMEEVERY YEAR FOR LIKE 4 YEARSALSO COINCIDES WITH HEALTH AND DEPRESSION ISSUES
back to the toil, 8 more hours of this shit fuggin hell :DDD
>they say toil in /cum/very cute =>
>>202052939I love Runescape. I LOVE RUNESCAPE.
> troonscape
>Using a troonputerCouldn't be me
FUCKIKNG EYEBROWS SO FUCKING ITCHY aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
so fucking angry. would it have killed them? would it have KILLED them to fix the sink today? no. no, of course it woudln't, BECAUSE ITS A FUCKING BASIC JOB! you hear me?! BASIC. FUCKING. JOB. you come over, you're on time, ANS YOU FIX THE FUCKING SINK!
>>202050205sovl
More Americans post in /brit/. Make of that what you will.
THE VOODOO WHO DO WHAT YOU DON'T DARE DO PEOPLE
hello
>>202053089hey
>>202053089good evening mr nigel sir how are you on this pleasant nighttime where it is dark and not sunny outside
bit miffed the image got rotated
Late night eats
im tTRIAWRSD
>>202053116is it good
>>202052668I wasn't even alive lol you guys are old
>>202053135>>202053135>>202053135>>202053135
>>202053116looks good. very good. Christ, if i had that... well, i need to pipe down anyway.
>>202053133why are you on 4channel and not zoomerette sites like tiktok
>>202053189to make you question things
>>202053194you didn't answer the question though so I can't question things any further
