stop shitting up /cum/

unironically if there was a vote taken from the /brit/posters across all timezones, the majority (if not all, minus the Discord) would vote "out" or "against" the report announcer who goes around saying people should be banned/locked up or sent to a nuthouse, making his entire personality about reporting people (on 4chan, if this was a democracy. he also wont stop, despite no one liking him

>>202266495
cool story bro

Mad the kind of autistic retards who post here

Haha ok that was fun for a few hours now how about we go back to good posting?

decided i actually really like kde

wazzuppppppp

>>202266511
love it how every time you try to play it off ilke "heh i dont care" when youre what the YOU ARE TALKING TO A FUTURE US MARINE kid wouldve turned out like if he posted on 4chan and kept being a faggot instead of joining the marines

What does it mean when a girl puts "xx" at the end of messages?

File: file.png (359 KB, 564x482)

359 KB PNG

She's gone mental

>>202266495
FOMYEG

Does anyone know any good strong jeans? Every pair I've ever owned have just ripped in the crotch area after a while.
Do they make jeans with a reinforced crotch gusset or something?

would love a gf who has a willy but it'd have to be smaller than my (unimpressive) one

File: 7B298845-EE07-4D42-9FB3-F(...).jpg (519 KB, 2048x1536)

519 KB JPG

scran

started drinking before i finished cleaningtoil lol

Really need a shit shower shave

>>202266559
nothing bby xx ;)

>>202266566
spam/flooding

>>202266543
you was meant to grow out of your linux phase at 15 lad

>>202266553
It’s all just a shitty rape bollocks mate, forget it, just make your brain fuzzy like the clouds and chill

>>202266579
used to get a lot of use out of zara's jeans before crotchular failure desu

>>202266543
It's great
Havent tried 6 yet but 5 was amazing

>>202266566
spam/flooding
>>202266581
tarq
tarq chicken i can tell its fancy by looking at the tail bit of the shape. poshwanker

>>202266543
This is an xfce thread

>>202266599
just wait til janny gets back and sees all the mice you posted

>>202266581
honestly looks nicer than some of my scrans

>>202266584
KTIMIAFOSH

genuinely don't understand how you fat cunts blow out crotches in jeans. I have massive legs from gymtoil and even if I squeeze into them, I've never once had it.

>>202266579
You want selvedge jeans mate

File: file.png (1.64 MB, 1280x960)

1.64 MB PNG

could go for a breakfast burger

>>202266638
you cannot post the mice

>>202266593
should i respond with "xx" at then end of my messages? its not something id ever usually do

>>202266657
WTFAYTA

>>202266666
checked

yeah its gold leaf which has the nice seal on the packet (not Amber Leaf)
i think Amber is cheaper but does taste better so idk

>>202266661
Big legs from muscle don't get wide on the inside like when you're a fat cunt

t. fat cunt

>>202266709
just put one

watching the top gear burma special where the people drive on the right in right sided drive cars

>>202266661
alri tiny cock and balls

>>202266709
No, don't be gay

>>202266711
kek that is me in about five to six hours

>>202266581
whats the thing on the top left? is it grilled chicken or wtf

File: 1726035388416468.jpg (147 KB, 607x1080)

147 KB JPG

sexo

>>202266768
mongmong loves being a mong

>>202266768
How do you not know what garlic bread looks like?

>>202266768
It's this strange little thing called "bread"

>>202266788
that'd be so uncomfortable to shag

>>202266768
tarqlic bread
>>202266809
nah

File: Peter_Kay_comedy_mastercl(...).jpg (569 KB, 1920x1570)

569 KB JPG

>>202266768
Isn't it garlic bread?

>>202266793
>>202266796
>>202266798
Why does it look like he put the loaf up his ass then

>>202266581
White people be like mmm yum my favourite flavour: plain

>>202266589
Just had a lovely shit me

>>202266838
this nigga eats untoasted garlic bread

>>202266788
sexxington

>>202266853
Yes.

>>202266589
need to renovate my bathroom so that i can do all 3 at once

hopefully i cross paths with that femboy with anxiety again if not just one more time and if hes legal

On a cut and fucking hungry already

Untoasted garlic bread? Ooh yes I’ll just put my garlic bread in the toaster shall I

>shartinelli

>>202266856
It's burnt not toasted

>>202266899
How about you "cut" your bitching

>>202266899
Nicotine pouch and a water x

>>202266899
>On a cut
you emo or something

File: 1561695211685.png (34 KB, 941x636)

34 KB PNG

>>202266893
hope you cross paths with a muslim who stabs you to death for being a homosexual

business idea: garlic tiger bread

man thinks toasting was invented when they made the toaster :skull:

even IF the "fallen angel" painting was LITERALLY the devil, and i said i love him, and that i could save him (i really could), and i WOULD really be the type of person that would require, then it still is less bad than wanting god and the devil to make up and be friends again because it would still be me beating the devil if i won

Back into dating
Tiresome business, even if you tell yourself to have fun with it

mad how peng peng twinks pooing peng gay poo porn is

why's britain always warm now
feel like pure shit just want bad weather back

>>202266928
Nah I only use 0 nic vapes

>>202266933
Need to stop being a fat cunt

>>202266979
Were literally*
Hypothetical, subjunctive mood

so thats my justification so its probably not evil then :)

>>202266991
I find everyone on apps just wants a shag and no more, I want a relationship

>>202267010
Global warming innit

>>202267011
>0 nic vapes
What's the point in that then?

HOWEVER, trying to beat the devil would piss him off (and so would a few other things), so by doing that - or by trying - you would be risking your soul. he would punish you for it... so, in that way, it would be evil

my willy will be in a vagina this time tomorrow

>>202267011
>0 nic vapes
this is the most retarded thing ever
I reckon vapes are way worse than cigs and the only reason you'd vape is because you're fiendishly addicted to nicotine

I do not want another date with another bland lower middle class woman who is into taylor swift and LOVES christmas and her favourite food is pizza and her favourite alcohol is flavoured gin
I've been on dates with at least 10 women like that and each one progressively makes me feel like I'm turning into a schizo

>>202267054
So I can not smell cigs when out with smokers mainly, it's really only a social thing

>>202267054
So you don't miss out on the socialising / Machiavellian scheming that goes on during smoke breaks at work.

The vape escape

is there a big football match on at this time or something because I can hear the neighbours shouting

>>202267091
did you not think to change it up after the first 9 women no?

>>202267121
North london derby m8

>>202267091
how many shags?

>>202267091
And what makes you so interesting that you're above her basic enjoyments

>>202267091
the only one of these ive had trouble with is taylor swift
but then i got her into my music lel

>>202267010
No it’s not we just had the coolest summer since 2014.
This year was also the wettest year since records began

>>202266741
>>202266757
conflicting advice. it does feel like putting x'es on messages isnt masculine. i dont want her to think im bent. but it does feel nice receive x'es on messages, feels affectionate and lord knows im starved of affection

steak and sausage pie with mashed tatties and green beans all drowning in some thick gravy for tea tonight lads x

>>202267133
I don't really have a choice
I can either be alone or I can date a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy
>>202267157
dunno
>>202267161
dunno

>>202267174
Just do what feels right x

>>202267186
Get over yourself mate

>>202266893
have some watermelon

>>202267183
horrendus face

File: headphones stick.png (28 KB, 234x221)

28 KB PNG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA281OuU3rk

>>202267183
cock mogs me

>>202267174
Fwiw I put x on messages and I am a bender

I'm a worthless human being, sometimes I just want to end it all

>>202267183
corr spaff

i wanna get into premier league
what teams should I watch?

>>202267183
Instinctively I think that a big willard, but then I notice the hand right next to it and think "hang on a minute, that's not even two hands worth. I can put both hands around my cock and still see a bit of the head poking out the end"
I should work out how to take pictures of my cock at angles like this to make it look massive

File: 1723408869940348.jpg (24 KB, 318x409)

24 KB JPG

>>202267183

>>202267253
all of them

my fantastic post about tonight's dinner has been overshadowed by a rule breaking post of a trannard with a big willy
don't know why I even bother posting sometimes

>>202267253
Ipswich

>>202267183
would succ

was once chatting to this goth bird in a pub and she randomly went "you're too chatty, I bet you're really vanilla in bed"
needless to say, she had done me in and I had no response

>>202267179
Cor

>>202267258
post your giant willy

>>202267179
corr mogs my dindins

File: hqdefault.jpg (22 KB, 480x360)

22 KB JPG

>>202267281
>you're too chatty, I bet you're really vanilla in bed

>>202267258
You've either got tiny hands or an absolutely enormous 1 in a billion cock

>>202267320
i can do that too and have neither

>large mixed kebab down the hatch
>niccy pouch lodged firmly by my gum
yeah we living

>>202267281
Only women I have ever known to talk about sex like that were abused by all their boyfriends as in they'd get cut with knives and beaten

>>202267281
Should have told her you're a bratty switch

>vanilla in bed is bad
what do women want?

>>202267091
Taylor Swift reminds me of my dads gf. I was visiting him 9-10 years ago and we were in her car with her and she insisted on playing Taylor Swift, specifically "Love Story" which she played back to back. She is like 60 years old so girls in their 20s/30s who like Taylor Swift seem cringey to me.

you just need to put yourself out there bro get on the apps get a haircut

https://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1726267322725010.png
https://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1726272940165180.jpg
https://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1726283238517787.jpg

>>202267353
based

>>202267281
She was literally leading things into sex
You could have spun that with something like "then let's stop chatting and see if you like the taste of vanilla"

>>202267373
to essentially be raped but only if you're handsome

>>202267350
Nah he's right

>>202267373
they wanna get choked and spanked and manhandled

>>202267284
>>202267320
I just measured my hand and it's 9cm across my palm. Don't know if that's big or small.
I wrapped both my fists around the ruler too and it only went up to 16cm. It's not that big really

File: daisy.jpg (19 KB, 465x471)

19 KB JPG

>then let's stop chatting and see if you like the taste of vanilla

this reduced salt ketchup mixed with some salt on my fingers and wiped off smells like spice/legalhighs
>>202267218
why? what

Hearing stories about wom*n makes me glad gay men will just say what they want lmao

File: 1725920780193607.png (96 KB, 250x300)

96 KB PNG

>"then let's stop chatting and see if you like the taste of vanilla"

sometimes think you lot are pretending to know this little about women just for attention
surely you can't be this thick when it comes to women they arn't that hard to work out

>>202267413
Mate have you considered it would just be a little more straightforward to measure your cock

File: images.jpg (33 KB, 462x663)

33 KB JPG

Which single country would you say has the most peng women? Korea?

not that i would say i love the devil
i like that painting though. a very handsome guy
*drools*

>>202267462
Colombia

>>202267413
I misread your original post and thought you said the whole head was out
Still have a decently nice cock at 16+ cm bro haha x

>>202267381
the dog one is so class

>>202267402
your phones probably 7 inches put your hands round it and then imagine it had about an extra inch on it

File: 0777.png (434 KB, 646x595)

434 KB PNG

is my cum meant to taste like vanilla ice cream or something?

for me it's autistic birds
especially the ones in their late 20s who are pretty good at hiding it
but once you let them get comfortable they unmask and they're really fun in bed

>>202267443
>>202267431
Girls love a bit of cheesy-but-suggestive
What would YOU say?

>>202267462
watched this flick recently
person in front of me in the cinema was crying

so if I eventually have sex now I'll be worrying about:
>my willy being too small
>not being good at the act itself
>being too vanilla

>>202267193
>>202267234
well im not bent but might throw in a cheeky x if the convo is good. thanks lads x

>>202267462
america because they have a high population
and obviously zero indians and chinese are uggo

yeah I'm getting another 4 beers from the BP desu

>>202267447
well, personally, I get my information on women from here and I regurgitate it with my own incelish tinge

>>202267450
Bit gay. I just know it's my hands about half the tip

>>202266809
bones are erotic

File: 1711978263634277.png (228 KB, 525x438)

228 KB PNG

>>202267381
these are horribly accurate

>>202267505
it’s affected by your diet. mine tastes like watermelon

>>202267509
It was in a cinema recentl? But yeah it's amazing. Super gimmicky twist but I love sappy films.

>>202267531
How do you not know the exact measurements of your cock like every other man on earth?

>>202267513
People overthink, the best sex happens when you're both clear about what you want

>>202267381
never shagged a fatty
always get skinny birds and gym rats

File: images - 2024-09-06T082052.657.jpg (8 KB, 223x226)

8 KB JPG

>>202267597
You have sex with birds and rats?

>>202267437
sorry the watermelon comment was directed at someone else i must have hit (you) by mistake lmao

i don't even deserve love and happiness so it's whatevs x

>>202267218
>>202267569
what did he mean by this

>>202267576
I've never measured it. Never really felt the need to. Last thing I'm thinking when I've got a boner if corrr yeah lets get the ruler out!
It's fine. 6 or 7 inches ish.

never had sex because my cock is the size of a bic lighter

>>202264390
i had that book when I was little

>>202267381
Fucking love fat women, always get a stiffy from this wojak OC

>>202267513
lol
don't let the internet memes get you
women don't care about your dick or how good you are at shagging

the only things women care about are that you don't have to repeat yourself to the waiter and that you can make them cum from oral
that's it

>>202267508
Certainly wouldn't admit to the thing she was accusing me of

Fucking sharting myself

>>202267447
no i really am hopeless with women. its been years since ive been around any in any meaningful way

>>202267513
You will be bad the first time you have sex which is why you need to do it with someone who loves and respects you

>>202267667
>Certainly wouldn't admit to the thing she was accusing me of
That's exactly what you should do, playing it off as a joke
Going all "WELL ACTUALLY I AM RATHER KINKY" just shows she got under your skin

>>202267513
porn has ruined your mind mate
>>my willy being too small
if you have an average size willard you'll be fine
>>not being good at the act itself
its just in out in out dont overthink it
>>being too vanilla
she'll let you know if she wants you to choke, slap etc but most women are just as vanilla as men

File: 1715857238106.jpg (265 KB, 1135x1145)

265 KB JPG

dehydrated
catatonic
sweating
unable to remember the last 24 hours
phone at 1%
50+ unread messages

corr i have no aim or goal in life anymore, im just wageslaving and collecting money to put into my ISA

lost my virginity to a size 20 slightly chubby girl in uni
no regrets as i got to practice and get any weird traits out of the way

looking at drawn depictions of breasts

>>202267645
watermelon makes your cum more juicy......

File: 1699485073918716.jpg (67 KB, 633x758)

67 KB JPG

>if you have an average size willard you'll be fine

>>202267745
Incel Savings Account?

>>202267729
I wouldn't have got myself in that situation but even just saying
>why not come back to mine and find out
Would be better as it isn't an admission of blandness nor overcompensating

Just remembered it’s Sunday and it fucking looms

>>202267699
i dont understand the mechanics of sex

do you just like gyrate your hips or summin

>>202267797
oh no
not me
I have the next 2 weeks off

I'm in no way surprised the Irish flag is a virgin

>>202267699
or a prossie

>>202267785
yea

>>202267807
You put your cock in her pussy and move it back and forth
Yes usually you use your hips but sometimes she will be on top and do the movement for you

>>202267813
You'll have your jaw off if you're not careful

>>202267777
sex

anyone here ever ripped their frenulum during sex?
done it so many times haha
blood everywhere

>>202267813
You're spending that time travelling and doing great things I hope

have my three probation review tomorrow
should be fun

Missionary position is a rather tiring position really, compared to the others

>>202267833
That's just asking for permainceldom
The problem is these virgin freaks have made not having sex their entire world when there are more important and nicer things about being with a woman
If people put love first then we wouldn't be down so bad nowadays

>>202267860
please dont do that

>>202267862
Is this your rehearsed sex story to be deployed when the lads start talking about sex and you need to pipe up with something so they don't think you're a virgin, clammed up and unable to contribute?

If so, it needs work.

>>202267865
nah I'm rewatching the wire, cleaning my house, and posting on /brit/
I thought about going somewhere but I don't like solo travel and I'm between girlfriends at the moment

Asshole Fever

>>202267885
ikr. prefer sleeping me

>>202267957
I'd prefer if you were sleeping as well

>>202267813
You're face
To face
With the man who beat toilberg

Reckon Britain would go wild for a kaffee und kuchen place.
The middle class and working class cry out for a place to take instagram pictures of cakes and pastries that isn't starbucks or an old shitty cafe or tearoom.

>>202267917
lol
nah, most of my mates are virgins so nobody talks about sex in my social group

>tell someone to fuck up with their yapping
>they accuse me of being a twitter zoomer because apparently "yapping" has become a fucking twitter meme
Fucking zoomers stole our slang and made it a bad thing.

>>202267977
what's wrong with tea rooms?

>>202267918
*Buries the muzzle of a gun into your cheek*
Which season

>lads start talking about sex
do people actually do this?
seems like a pretty boring topic?

got outed as a virgin by my so-called mates and they proper made fun of me

>>202267977
Are you saying the UK doesn't have coffee and pastries

>>202268007
They're for old people and harry potter fans. Not cool and hip.

>>202268023
I have never talked about sex with my friends because some in our group are still virgins after 30 years old

>>202268045
you have a very weird view of tearooms
afternoon tea is more popular than ever

>>202268023
mate outed himself as a foot fetishist when we did this and never been able to look at him the same way again

>>202268023
I've never been in an actual full-blown conversation with the lads about sex beyond someone asking "what's your number?" and someone else mentioning they made a bird squirt once and he didn't even seem to be happy to be telling us that. Was like the alcohol had taken over and forced the information out of him. Talking about sex with the lads seems gay.

>>202268054
Surely if one of you ever has sex he'll become drunk with power and shoot to the top of the social hierarchy within the group, no?

all virgins should be banned from 4chan

>>202267893
i did it with a prossie and now have a gf of 3 years

>>202268090
>Talking about sex with the lads seems gay.
>Talking about fucking women is gay

I'm starving and have no food
will a whey protein shake with milk sustain me

just saw a tranny omw back from tesco, how the fuck do these freaks even have the confidence to go outside lmao, you could literally see hair on its knuckles

>>202268106
The virgins are the minority and the rest of us are getting married, having kids.
Sex talk would be so awkward I wouldn't even know where to bring.

>>202268129
Talking about fucking women WITH MEN is gay. Talking about your willy to other men is gay. Talking about your sexual prowess with other men is gay.

>>202268023
Yeah but my friend group is all gays

>>202268140
They are extremely mentally ill.
Also now they believe the government and society at large is on their side, "the right side of history" if you will.

>>202268010
1 at the moment

>>202268149
Do you find it hard to respect the non-sexhavvers in the group?

do the irish cheer for tottenham?

just sold my car, with webuyanycar

>>202268183
Yeah, well I beg your pardon
*Backs off*

>>202268225
could have gotten a better price elsewhere

>>202268157
Dear oh dear lad

>>202268248
Really?

>>202268189
Yes but for more reasons than just their inceldom

>>202268269
This is you just learning that you're gay.

if I wasn't so hairy I reckon I'd be pretty good as a troon
fortunately for me I am not mentally ill

File: file.png (21 KB, 372x291)

21 KB PNG

>>202268225
I'm rich!

>>202268140
lots of women have hair on their knuckles

>>202268292
yeah their whole business model is flawed. if they will buy any car that means they can be assured that they can get a better price for it.

mental how fit they are

>>>/sp/144447279
why can't sacked tranny accept this

might watch a film or two or three tonight

File: Screenshot_20240915_14590(...).jpg (285 KB, 1080x1394)

285 KB JPG

Worth a cop?

trains busy today
lots of uni students with their huge suitcases blocking the aisles
morons

File: IMG_2896.png (476 KB, 667x808)

476 KB PNG

>>202268345
T.

>>202268396
it's giving autism

>>202268396
>7.5
footlet

File: 1723988149558986.jpg (35 KB, 686x641)

35 KB JPG

>>202268396

yeah we had a good thread there for about an hour let's go back to talking about namefags for another eight hours

>>202268396
virg shoe

>>202268396
post feet

woke up at 2am and all i've had today is ket and a protein shake
really really really should kill myself

>>202268396
>black and white shoes
you are a closeted tranny

>>202268409
that's actually a poorly-drawn cartoon
probably about time you grew out of such things no?

>>202267281
screaming at this

>>202268396
Feel like navy trainers are the ultimate virgin shoes.

File: 157841.jpg (145 KB, 721x750)

145 KB JPG

>>202268439

>Former US presidential candidate Robert F Kennedy Jr has said he is being investigated for cutting off the head of a dead whale with a chainsaw
just a great headline
would read again

missed out on the adidas samba harris tweed drop, gutted

>>202268396
avoid any trainers you can buy from next you virgin

>>202268388
Such as?

>>202268521
well that's the big question isn't it

bfberg left his toenail clippings on the living room floor

Hi, Elliot Rodger here

>>202268502
in his defence a worm ate part of his brain

rorke buying a woman a drink at the pub and tripping over when walking back to the table

bought some new balance 990v4 creps last year and haven't used them once, not sure what I was thinking tbqh

i ascended from having an android now i just need some non black and white trainers and i'll be shagging

>>202268483
good post

they don't go with anything

>>202268543
rape his arse in revenge

anyone remember that show where a few guys were competing for a tranny but they weren't told it was a tranny? then the bloke who won decided to date the tranny instead of taking a million pounds or something like that

File: o79y65.jpg (130 KB, 550x800)

130 KB JPG

>>202268521
>>202268529
thinking this and then i might watch some more pacino kino after

>>202268597
He's the top usually

>>202268503
Jesus christ what were they thinking?

>>202268580
kek literally me I ended up selling mine didn't wear them once

>>202268624
should learn his lesson then

>>202268605
there's something about miriam
listened to the xfm show it was mentioned on the other day

>>202268617
Good choice
And which snacks are you going to enjoy with your kino?

>>202268583
What's the best alternative

>>202268605
>>202268661

For some reason many of the male contestants were quite upset about the reveal.

It was never clear why they were upset though since trans women are women.

File: columbo fishtank.png (1.48 MB, 1825x1005)

1.48 MB PNG

alright lads?

watching the footy, laugh every time they show sakas face

>>202268671
no snacks i don't think
having pasta for tea then i'll just drink

waiting for the weedman, says he will "be 15 minutes g"

sucking diarrhoea up through a straw but the woke mob took away the plastic ones so it's a paper straw and it falls apart and leaves me crying next to my bowl of liquid shite that I can't eat

Considering buying a Suzuki Jimny. Seems like a lovely little virgin mobile for someone like me

>>202268773
Mx5

>>202268756
is he usually punctually?

Why do troons go on grindr to message gay men ffs, fuck off

>>202268661
>>202268710
I remember one bloke was giving the trannard a massage and said "eugh that back doesn't feel like a woman's back", but at the end I assumed they were actors because who wouldn't take the cash prize.

>>202268705
https://www.endclothing.com/gb/adidas-bern-gtx-if3800.html
these will do you lad

>>202268773
I had two of these some years ago as I needed a 4x4 that was cheap to insure
they're great cars, reliable and fun but I got shafted twice by buying rust buckets without knowing what I was looking at
make sure you either take a mechanic mate with you or take a bright torch and be prepared to crawl underneath and poke at the vulnerable areas to see if they're rusty
pay particular attention to the rear of the car, such as rear wheel arches and the panels on the underside of the boot as these are seriously rust prone and can be an expensive MOT fail

>>202268859
greng

File: 1724959865238934.gif (87 KB, 220x275)

87 KB GIF

>L'Amour Toujours - Slowed + Reverb

>>202268838
me tugging in the grocery isle

>>202268876
>greng
this you?
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=greng

>>202268838
Imagine.
Imagine the smell.

wish i had real hobbies. all i really do is watch esports all day.

>>202268748
What kind of pasta? What poison?

>>202268909
screaming

>>202268838
nice AI video

>>202268925
i guess just like peas and tagliatelle in some sort of sauce
got some cans of premium continental lager and some red wine

>>202268909
heh

>>202268871
worth noting as well that a lot of places will try and hide the rust underneath paint or waxoyl, always check the MOT records to see if it's been flagged up before
a recent clean MOT isn't proof enough it's in good nick, the first one I bought had no advisories at all but that turned out to be because the garage that sold me the car did their own MOT on it, ended up having to bin it a year later

>>202268960
Fun hope you enjoy your evening
I'm drinking coffee out of my $1000 mug and the gf is making me a sandwich

>>202268838
would colonise them all

>>202268991
why is your mug $1000

mugging a poo

>>202269025
>>202269025
>>202269025

>>202269035
>>202269035
>>202269035

Cute guy is messaging me on grindr lads

what's going on?

>>202267684
Is that her from above? Shes sexy

File: skinnygirl.png (63 KB, 1024x422)

63 KB PNG

>>202267684
What mean?