ktim edition
stop shitting up /cum/
unironically if there was a vote taken from the /brit/posters across all timezones, the majority (if not all, minus the Discord) would vote "out" or "against" the report announcer who goes around saying people should be banned/locked up or sent to a nuthouse, making his entire personality about reporting people (on 4chan, if this was a democracy. he also wont stop, despite no one liking him
>>202266495cool story bro
Mad the kind of autistic retards who post here
Haha ok that was fun for a few hours now how about we go back to good posting?
decided i actually really like kde
wazzuppppppp
>>202266511love it how every time you try to play it off ilke "heh i dont care" when youre what the YOU ARE TALKING TO A FUTURE US MARINE kid wouldve turned out like if he posted on 4chan and kept being a faggot instead of joining the marines
What does it mean when a girl puts "xx" at the end of messages?
She's gone mental
>>202266495FOMYEG
Does anyone know any good strong jeans? Every pair I've ever owned have just ripped in the crotch area after a while.Do they make jeans with a reinforced crotch gusset or something?
would love a gf who has a willy but it'd have to be smaller than my (unimpressive) one
scran
started drinking before i finished cleaningtoil lol
Really need a shit shower shave
>>202266559nothing bby xx ;)
>>202266566spam/flooding
>>202266543you was meant to grow out of your linux phase at 15 lad
>>202266553It’s all just a shitty rape bollocks mate, forget it, just make your brain fuzzy like the clouds and chill
>>202266579used to get a lot of use out of zara's jeans before crotchular failure desu
>>202266543It's great Havent tried 6 yet but 5 was amazing
>>202266566spam/flooding >>202266581tarqtarq chicken i can tell its fancy by looking at the tail bit of the shape. poshwanker
>>202266543This is an xfce thread
>>202266599just wait til janny gets back and sees all the mice you posted
>>202266581honestly looks nicer than some of my scrans
>>202266584KTIMIAFOSH
genuinely don't understand how you fat cunts blow out crotches in jeans. I have massive legs from gymtoil and even if I squeeze into them, I've never once had it.
>>202266579You want selvedge jeans mate
could go for a breakfast burger
>>202266638you cannot post the mice
>>202266593should i respond with "xx" at then end of my messages? its not something id ever usually do
>>202266657WTFAYTA
>>202266666checked
yeah its gold leaf which has the nice seal on the packet (not Amber Leaf) i think Amber is cheaper but does taste better so idk
>>202266661Big legs from muscle don't get wide on the inside like when you're a fat cuntt. fat cunt
>>202266709just put one
watching the top gear burma special where the people drive on the right in right sided drive cars
>>202266661alri tiny cock and balls
>>202266709No, don't be gay
>>202266711kek that is me in about five to six hours
>>202266581whats the thing on the top left? is it grilled chicken or wtf
sexo
>>202266768mongmong loves being a mong
>>202266768How do you not know what garlic bread looks like?
>>202266768It's this strange little thing called "bread"
>>202266788that'd be so uncomfortable to shag
>>202266768tarqlic bread >>202266809nah
>>202266768Isn't it garlic bread?
>>202266793>>202266796>>202266798Why does it look like he put the loaf up his ass then
>>202266581White people be like mmm yum my favourite flavour: plain
>>202266589Just had a lovely shit me
>>202266838this nigga eats untoasted garlic bread
>>202266788sexxington
>>202266853Yes.
>>202266589need to renovate my bathroom so that i can do all 3 at once
hopefully i cross paths with that femboy with anxiety again if not just one more time and if hes legal
On a cut and fucking hungry already
Untoasted garlic bread? Ooh yes I’ll just put my garlic bread in the toaster shall I
>shartinelli
>>202266856It's burnt not toasted
>>202266899How about you "cut" your bitching
>>202266899Nicotine pouch and a water x
>>202266899>On a cutyou emo or something
>>202266893hope you cross paths with a muslim who stabs you to death for being a homosexual
business idea: garlic tiger bread
man thinks toasting was invented when they made the toaster :skull:
even IF the "fallen angel" painting was LITERALLY the devil, and i said i love him, and that i could save him (i really could), and i WOULD really be the type of person that would require, then it still is less bad than wanting god and the devil to make up and be friends again because it would still be me beating the devil if i won
Back into datingTiresome business, even if you tell yourself to have fun with it
mad how peng peng twinks pooing peng gay poo porn is
why's britain always warm nowfeel like pure shit just want bad weather back
>>202266928Nah I only use 0 nic vapes>>202266933Need to stop being a fat cunt
>>202266979Were literally*Hypothetical, subjunctive mood
so thats my justification so its probably not evil then :)
>>202266991I find everyone on apps just wants a shag and no more, I want a relationship>>202267010Global warming innit
>>202267011>0 nic vapesWhat's the point in that then?
HOWEVER, trying to beat the devil would piss him off (and so would a few other things), so by doing that - or by trying - you would be risking your soul. he would punish you for it... so, in that way, it would be evil
my willy will be in a vagina this time tomorrow
>>202267011>0 nic vapesthis is the most retarded thing everI reckon vapes are way worse than cigs and the only reason you'd vape is because you're fiendishly addicted to nicotine
I do not want another date with another bland lower middle class woman who is into taylor swift and LOVES christmas and her favourite food is pizza and her favourite alcohol is flavoured ginI've been on dates with at least 10 women like that and each one progressively makes me feel like I'm turning into a schizo
>>202267054So I can not smell cigs when out with smokers mainly, it's really only a social thing
>>202267054So you don't miss out on the socialising / Machiavellian scheming that goes on during smoke breaks at work.
The vape escape
is there a big football match on at this time or something because I can hear the neighbours shouting
>>202267091did you not think to change it up after the first 9 women no?
>>202267121North london derby m8
>>202267091how many shags?
>>202267091And what makes you so interesting that you're above her basic enjoyments
>>202267091the only one of these ive had trouble with is taylor swiftbut then i got her into my music lel
>>202267010No it’s not we just had the coolest summer since 2014.This year was also the wettest year since records began
>>202266741>>202266757conflicting advice. it does feel like putting x'es on messages isnt masculine. i dont want her to think im bent. but it does feel nice receive x'es on messages, feels affectionate and lord knows im starved of affection
steak and sausage pie with mashed tatties and green beans all drowning in some thick gravy for tea tonight lads x
>>202267133I don't really have a choiceI can either be alone or I can date a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy>>202267157dunno>>202267161dunno
>>202267174Just do what feels right x
>>202267186Get over yourself mate
>>202266893have some watermelon
>>202267183horrendus face
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA281OuU3rk
>>202267183cock mogs me
>>202267174Fwiw I put x on messages and I am a bender
I'm a worthless human being, sometimes I just want to end it all >>202267183corr spaff
i wanna get into premier leaguewhat teams should I watch?
>>202267183Instinctively I think that a big willard, but then I notice the hand right next to it and think "hang on a minute, that's not even two hands worth. I can put both hands around my cock and still see a bit of the head poking out the end"I should work out how to take pictures of my cock at angles like this to make it look massive
>>202267183
>>202267253all of them
my fantastic post about tonight's dinner has been overshadowed by a rule breaking post of a trannard with a big willydon't know why I even bother posting sometimes
>>202267253Ipswich
>>202267183would succ
was once chatting to this goth bird in a pub and she randomly went "you're too chatty, I bet you're really vanilla in bed"needless to say, she had done me in and I had no response
>>202267179Cor
>>202267258post your giant willy
>>202267179corr mogs my dindins
>>202267281>you're too chatty, I bet you're really vanilla in bed
>>202267258You've either got tiny hands or an absolutely enormous 1 in a billion cock
>>202267320i can do that too and have neither
>large mixed kebab down the hatch>niccy pouch lodged firmly by my gumyeah we living
>>202267281Only women I have ever known to talk about sex like that were abused by all their boyfriends as in they'd get cut with knives and beaten
>>202267281Should have told her you're a bratty switch
>vanilla in bed is badwhat do women want?
>>202267091Taylor Swift reminds me of my dads gf. I was visiting him 9-10 years ago and we were in her car with her and she insisted on playing Taylor Swift, specifically "Love Story" which she played back to back. She is like 60 years old so girls in their 20s/30s who like Taylor Swift seem cringey to me.
you just need to put yourself out there bro get on the apps get a haircuthttps://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1726267322725010.pnghttps://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1726272940165180.jpghttps://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1726283238517787.jpg
>>202267353based
>>202267281She was literally leading things into sexYou could have spun that with something like "then let's stop chatting and see if you like the taste of vanilla"
>>202267373to essentially be raped but only if you're handsome
>>202267350Nah he's right
>>202267373they wanna get choked and spanked and manhandled
>>202267284>>202267320I just measured my hand and it's 9cm across my palm. Don't know if that's big or small.I wrapped both my fists around the ruler too and it only went up to 16cm. It's not that big really
>then let's stop chatting and see if you like the taste of vanilla
this reduced salt ketchup mixed with some salt on my fingers and wiped off smells like spice/legalhighs>>202267218why? what
Hearing stories about wom*n makes me glad gay men will just say what they want lmao
>"then let's stop chatting and see if you like the taste of vanilla"
sometimes think you lot are pretending to know this little about women just for attentionsurely you can't be this thick when it comes to women they arn't that hard to work out
>>202267413Mate have you considered it would just be a little more straightforward to measure your cock
Which single country would you say has the most peng women? Korea?
not that i would say i love the devili like that painting though. a very handsome guy *drools*
>>202267462Colombia
>>202267413I misread your original post and thought you said the whole head was out Still have a decently nice cock at 16+ cm bro haha x
>>202267381the dog one is so class
>>202267402your phones probably 7 inches put your hands round it and then imagine it had about an extra inch on it
is my cum meant to taste like vanilla ice cream or something?
for me it's autistic birdsespecially the ones in their late 20s who are pretty good at hiding itbut once you let them get comfortable they unmask and they're really fun in bed
>>202267443>>202267431Girls love a bit of cheesy-but-suggestiveWhat would YOU say?
>>202267462watched this flick recentlyperson in front of me in the cinema was crying
so if I eventually have sex now I'll be worrying about:>my willy being too small>not being good at the act itself>being too vanilla
>>202267193>>202267234well im not bent but might throw in a cheeky x if the convo is good. thanks lads x
>>202267462america because they have a high populationand obviously zero indians and chinese are uggo
yeah I'm getting another 4 beers from the BP desu
>>202267447well, personally, I get my information on women from here and I regurgitate it with my own incelish tinge
>>202267450Bit gay. I just know it's my hands about half the tip
>>202266809bones are erotic
>>202267381these are horribly accurate
>>202267505it’s affected by your diet. mine tastes like watermelon
>>202267509It was in a cinema recentl? But yeah it's amazing. Super gimmicky twist but I love sappy films.
>>202267531How do you not know the exact measurements of your cock like every other man on earth?
>>202267513People overthink, the best sex happens when you're both clear about what you want
>>202267381never shagged a fattyalways get skinny birds and gym rats
>>202267597You have sex with birds and rats?
>>202267437sorry the watermelon comment was directed at someone else i must have hit (you) by mistake lmao
i don't even deserve love and happiness so it's whatevs x
>>202267218>>202267569what did he mean by this
>>202267576I've never measured it. Never really felt the need to. Last thing I'm thinking when I've got a boner if corrr yeah lets get the ruler out!It's fine. 6 or 7 inches ish.
never had sex because my cock is the size of a bic lighter
>>202264390i had that book when I was little
>>202267381Fucking love fat women, always get a stiffy from this wojak OC
>>202267513loldon't let the internet memes get youwomen don't care about your dick or how good you are at shaggingthe only things women care about are that you don't have to repeat yourself to the waiter and that you can make them cum from oralthat's it
>>202267508Certainly wouldn't admit to the thing she was accusing me of
Fucking sharting myself
>>202267447no i really am hopeless with women. its been years since ive been around any in any meaningful way
>>202267513You will be bad the first time you have sex which is why you need to do it with someone who loves and respects you
>>202267667>Certainly wouldn't admit to the thing she was accusing me ofThat's exactly what you should do, playing it off as a jokeGoing all "WELL ACTUALLY I AM RATHER KINKY" just shows she got under your skin
>>202267513porn has ruined your mind mate >>my willy being too smallif you have an average size willard you'll be fine>>not being good at the act itselfits just in out in out dont overthink it >>being too vanillashe'll let you know if she wants you to choke, slap etc but most women are just as vanilla as men
dehydratedcatatonicsweatingunable to remember the last 24 hoursphone at 1%50+ unread messages
corr i have no aim or goal in life anymore, im just wageslaving and collecting money to put into my ISA
lost my virginity to a size 20 slightly chubby girl in unino regrets as i got to practice and get any weird traits out of the way
looking at drawn depictions of breasts
>>202267645watermelon makes your cum more juicy......
>if you have an average size willard you'll be fine
>>202267745Incel Savings Account?
>>202267729I wouldn't have got myself in that situation but even just saying >why not come back to mine and find outWould be better as it isn't an admission of blandness nor overcompensating
Just remembered it’s Sunday and it fucking looms
>>202267699i dont understand the mechanics of sexdo you just like gyrate your hips or summin
>>202267797oh nonot meI have the next 2 weeks off
I'm in no way surprised the Irish flag is a virgin
>>202267699or a prossie
>>202267785yea
>>202267807You put your cock in her pussy and move it back and forth Yes usually you use your hips but sometimes she will be on top and do the movement for you
>>202267813You'll have your jaw off if you're not careful
>>202267777sex
anyone here ever ripped their frenulum during sex?done it so many times hahablood everywhere
>>202267813You're spending that time travelling and doing great things I hope
have my three probation review tomorrowshould be fun
Missionary position is a rather tiring position really, compared to the others
>>202267833That's just asking for permainceldomThe problem is these virgin freaks have made not having sex their entire world when there are more important and nicer things about being with a woman If people put love first then we wouldn't be down so bad nowadays
>>202267860please dont do that
>>202267862Is this your rehearsed sex story to be deployed when the lads start talking about sex and you need to pipe up with something so they don't think you're a virgin, clammed up and unable to contribute?If so, it needs work.
>>202267865nah I'm rewatching the wire, cleaning my house, and posting on /brit/I thought about going somewhere but I don't like solo travel and I'm between girlfriends at the moment
Asshole Fever
>>202267885ikr. prefer sleeping me
>>202267957I'd prefer if you were sleeping as well
>>202267813You're faceTo faceWith the man who beat toilberg
Reckon Britain would go wild for a kaffee und kuchen place.The middle class and working class cry out for a place to take instagram pictures of cakes and pastries that isn't starbucks or an old shitty cafe or tearoom.
>>202267917lolnah, most of my mates are virgins so nobody talks about sex in my social group
>tell someone to fuck up with their yapping>they accuse me of being a twitter zoomer because apparently "yapping" has become a fucking twitter memeFucking zoomers stole our slang and made it a bad thing.
>>202267977what's wrong with tea rooms?
>>202267918*Buries the muzzle of a gun into your cheek*Which season
>lads start talking about sexdo people actually do this?seems like a pretty boring topic?
got outed as a virgin by my so-called mates and they proper made fun of me
>>202267977Are you saying the UK doesn't have coffee and pastries
>>202268007They're for old people and harry potter fans. Not cool and hip.
>>202268023I have never talked about sex with my friends because some in our group are still virgins after 30 years old
>>202268045you have a very weird view of tearoomsafternoon tea is more popular than ever
>>202268023mate outed himself as a foot fetishist when we did this and never been able to look at him the same way again
>>202268023I've never been in an actual full-blown conversation with the lads about sex beyond someone asking "what's your number?" and someone else mentioning they made a bird squirt once and he didn't even seem to be happy to be telling us that. Was like the alcohol had taken over and forced the information out of him. Talking about sex with the lads seems gay.
>>202268054Surely if one of you ever has sex he'll become drunk with power and shoot to the top of the social hierarchy within the group, no?
all virgins should be banned from 4chan
>>202267893i did it with a prossie and now have a gf of 3 years
>>202268090>Talking about sex with the lads seems gay.>Talking about fucking women is gay
I'm starving and have no foodwill a whey protein shake with milk sustain me
just saw a tranny omw back from tesco, how the fuck do these freaks even have the confidence to go outside lmao, you could literally see hair on its knuckles
>>202268106The virgins are the minority and the rest of us are getting married, having kids. Sex talk would be so awkward I wouldn't even know where to bring.
>>202268129Talking about fucking women WITH MEN is gay. Talking about your willy to other men is gay. Talking about your sexual prowess with other men is gay.
>>202268023Yeah but my friend group is all gays
>>202268140They are extremely mentally ill. Also now they believe the government and society at large is on their side, "the right side of history" if you will.
>>2022680101 at the moment
>>202268149Do you find it hard to respect the non-sexhavvers in the group?
do the irish cheer for tottenham?
just sold my car, with webuyanycar
>>202268183Yeah, well I beg your pardon*Backs off*
>>202268225could have gotten a better price elsewhere
>>202268157Dear oh dear lad
>>202268248Really?
>>202268189Yes but for more reasons than just their inceldom
>>202268269This is you just learning that you're gay.
if I wasn't so hairy I reckon I'd be pretty good as a troonfortunately for me I am not mentally ill
>>202268225I'm rich!
>>202268140lots of women have hair on their knuckles
>>202268292yeah their whole business model is flawed. if they will buy any car that means they can be assured that they can get a better price for it.
mental how fit they are
>>>/sp/144447279why can't sacked tranny accept this
might watch a film or two or three tonight
Worth a cop?
trains busy todaylots of uni students with their huge suitcases blocking the aislesmorons
>>202268345T.
>>202268396it's giving autism
>>202268396>7.5footlet
>>202268396
yeah we had a good thread there for about an hour let's go back to talking about namefags for another eight hours
>>202268396virg shoe
>>202268396post feet
woke up at 2am and all i've had today is ket and a protein shakereally really really should kill myself
>>202268396>black and white shoesyou are a closeted tranny
>>202268409that's actually a poorly-drawn cartoonprobably about time you grew out of such things no?
>>202267281screaming at this
>>202268396Feel like navy trainers are the ultimate virgin shoes.
>>202268439
>Former US presidential candidate Robert F Kennedy Jr has said he is being investigated for cutting off the head of a dead whale with a chainsawjust a great headlinewould read again
missed out on the adidas samba harris tweed drop, gutted
>>202268396avoid any trainers you can buy from next you virgin
>>202268388Such as?
>>202268521well that's the big question isn't it
bfberg left his toenail clippings on the living room floor
Hi, Elliot Rodger here
>>202268502in his defence a worm ate part of his brain
rorke buying a woman a drink at the pub and tripping over when walking back to the table
bought some new balance 990v4 creps last year and haven't used them once, not sure what I was thinking tbqh
i ascended from having an android now i just need some non black and white trainers and i'll be shagging
>>202268483good postthey don't go with anything
>>202268543rape his arse in revenge
anyone remember that show where a few guys were competing for a tranny but they weren't told it was a tranny? then the bloke who won decided to date the tranny instead of taking a million pounds or something like that
>>202268521>>202268529thinking this and then i might watch some more pacino kino after
>>202268597He's the top usually
>>202268503Jesus christ what were they thinking?
>>202268580kek literally me I ended up selling mine didn't wear them once
>>202268624should learn his lesson then
>>202268605there's something about miriamlistened to the xfm show it was mentioned on the other day
>>202268617Good choice And which snacks are you going to enjoy with your kino?
>>202268583What's the best alternative
>>202268605>>202268661For some reason many of the male contestants were quite upset about the reveal. It was never clear why they were upset though since trans women are women.
alright lads?
watching the footy, laugh every time they show sakas face
>>202268671no snacks i don't thinkhaving pasta for tea then i'll just drink
waiting for the weedman, says he will "be 15 minutes g"
sucking diarrhoea up through a straw but the woke mob took away the plastic ones so it's a paper straw and it falls apart and leaves me crying next to my bowl of liquid shite that I can't eat
Considering buying a Suzuki Jimny. Seems like a lovely little virgin mobile for someone like me
>>202268773Mx5
>>202268756is he usually punctually?
Why do troons go on grindr to message gay men ffs, fuck off
>>202268661>>202268710I remember one bloke was giving the trannard a massage and said "eugh that back doesn't feel like a woman's back", but at the end I assumed they were actors because who wouldn't take the cash prize.
>>202268705https://www.endclothing.com/gb/adidas-bern-gtx-if3800.htmlthese will do you lad
>>202268773I had two of these some years ago as I needed a 4x4 that was cheap to insure they're great cars, reliable and fun but I got shafted twice by buying rust buckets without knowing what I was looking at make sure you either take a mechanic mate with you or take a bright torch and be prepared to crawl underneath and poke at the vulnerable areas to see if they're rustypay particular attention to the rear of the car, such as rear wheel arches and the panels on the underside of the boot as these are seriously rust prone and can be an expensive MOT fail
>>202268859greng
>L'Amour Toujours - Slowed + Reverb
>>202268838me tugging in the grocery isle
>>202268876>grengthis you?https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=greng
>>202268838Imagine.Imagine the smell.
wish i had real hobbies. all i really do is watch esports all day.
>>202268748What kind of pasta? What poison?
>>202268909screaming
>>202268838nice AI video
>>202268925i guess just like peas and tagliatelle in some sort of saucegot some cans of premium continental lager and some red wine
>>202268909heh
>>202268871worth noting as well that a lot of places will try and hide the rust underneath paint or waxoyl, always check the MOT records to see if it's been flagged up beforea recent clean MOT isn't proof enough it's in good nick, the first one I bought had no advisories at all but that turned out to be because the garage that sold me the car did their own MOT on it, ended up having to bin it a year later
>>202268960Fun hope you enjoy your evening I'm drinking coffee out of my $1000 mug and the gf is making me a sandwich
>>202268838would colonise them all
>>202268991why is your mug $1000
mugging a poo
>>202269025>>202269025>>202269025
>>202269035>>202269035>>202269035
Cute guy is messaging me on grindr lads
what's going on?
>>202267684Is that her from above? Shes sexy
>>202267684What mean?