this is a me bollocks thread
First
will sausages be okay a day over the use by ladsunopened
poo smells
>>203050058yeah
get the old sausages exchanged for fresh new sausages
mistook me bollocks for a sausage and ate them
pulsating me bollocks into deepspace
>>203050070what if they ain't?they're morrisons best. like 90 percent porkwould be gutting if they go off proper
britain thunders out for>a load of commie shite no one read
>>203050058I've had sausages long past the best before date that had developed unsightly dark patches on them and they were absolutely fine, it's all a con
>>203050049>>203050072>>203050073'bit bollocks innit?
>>203050085if you don't eat them I willgobble those sausages right up I will
Britain cries out for deindustrialisation and a return to simpler times
NASA found an asteroid coming toward earth so deflected it with me bollocks
can already feel the weekend is going to be wasted
britain chunders out on account of the overeating and binge drinking
>>203050091alright i reckon i'll only leave them til tomorrow thoughcos i'll have a sunday fry up>>203050102please don't eat my sausages :(
>>203050085Sniff test. We can't tell definitively over the internet
>>203050104right this bollocks bollocks has run it's course now
wonder if mixing chopped up sausage with porridge makes a good combination
x-ray couldnt find me bollockstechnician says its because there's nought bone in them
>>203050031gm
Hey lads lads“Bollocks”
>>203050031>>203050049>>203050093>>203050110johhny foreigner wogs OUT
>>203050103*blocks you in you are path*
can't feel me bollocks
>>203050137Excellent post
nevermind the bloody bollocks
another week of 50% off 5 orders offered to be by ubereatsbergordered a greggs the other day with it. then realised subway had opened just as i placed the orderwas guttedso it's cheap subway for me this mornmeatball marinara. that's what i likei'll get the double meathalf price double meataka what your prostitute mum calls an outcall to my address
my blog: listening to azealia banks sipping a coffeesick as a dog going yo have a vanilla coke after thinking about doing some uni work soon thinking about quitting 4chan about to hit masters rank on overwatch cat meowing at me just had 3 panadolshad a mega wank for its curative proprieties
>>203050103>Britain cries out for deindustrialisationThatcher already did
do you think these panties make me bollocks look big?pic related
>>203050159subway has got to be the grimmest possible fast food choice, the definition of runtslop
britain is silent as ever
corr me poor bollocks
>>203050178>vanilla cokenice
bollocks marinara
>>203050189stupid post thatyou get all sorts of veg and some meat. not sure how that's grimmer than the others
as strong as an ox i ama bollox
>>203050208alri jared
>>203050208ah yes limp watery veg and the lowest quality "meat" they can get away with, that makes it much better
get the bullocks bolloxed
>>203050178>listening to azealia banksshame what she said about dasha
might apply for a job, thursdays setback gave me the menthol elves with a side of the 'cide, but I'm ready to bounce back
puffing on a poo like an old man on his pipe
doctor said i was pregnant in me bollocks
>>203050257what did she say lolfor me it was when she called australia a shithole and said our currency is worthless (FACT)
When someone asks for my opinion on Israel/Palestine I just refuse to engageBut funnily enough, that will always make the other present thing that you aren't engaging because you hold the exact opposite view to themWhich really drills down to the core of why people ask: looking for an argument
mad how gaza is in the bible
>>203050317was he drinking back then?
a man bereft of his foreskin
don't believe I've ever listened to an azaelia banks song
>>203050287https://x.com/azealiaslacewig/status/1842041431558353233
>The bibleI sleep>The bi bullWHOA
>>203050340212s a chewn
blowing poo bubbles, to be frank
>>203050340Don't think anyone has ever cared what you listen to
>>203050344
subjected me bollocks to cosmic rays
>>203050340i heard that song Anna Wintour at club77 and it was kinda bangin
no carly on brat remixeswow WOW charli is a fucking bitch
right that's the xitter screenshots ignored
>>203050365yes they havehave had several people compliment me on my music choices much to my delight
>meatballsi sleep>me bollocksWOW
>>203050369lmao
an american wanker in /brit/
>>203050412good post to be absolutely fair
>>203050392right that's the 4chan post ignored
Don't know why so many are opposed to the simple pickle and peanut butter sandwich
these bollocks are going to sleep now
>>203050445count me among them
she's nothing without AG cookfucking talentless whore
so basically this is me
>>203050369Raped
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me bollocks, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed bollocks. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me bollocks but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me bollocks over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with me bollocks. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire bollocks of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bollocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "me bollocks" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit me bollocks all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Americans be like>Yep that's a pizza alright
the 'arf 'rice 'ubway
>>203050514this is an ai-generated image made with the prompt "pizza peanut-butter cup"
sat here picking my bellybutton lint out and eating it
i'm, /brit/ing aroundmove out of my way
>>203050532what does "american style" mean
japanese people think you catch a cold by going out in the rain or sleeping somewhere that isn't a bed
>>203050536What's the difference between you and your belly button Nobody picks you
>>203050445You should be tried at The Hague
>>203050557american style cheeseother options shredded mozzarella & cheddar blend (cheddar doesn't go well with meatball mazza imo) or vegan cheeZe (woke rubbish)
>>203050294Maybe people want to practice their assertiveness skills
>>203050561your mum picks the worms out my arse and puts them in your morning breakfast mate
>>203050590You should probably get that checked out mate
any man with a brogue man in
>>203050581should've done mozzarella
>>203050590Trying to enjoy my cup of tea here
Bro talking about "practicing assertiveness skills"...
>>203050615like i said, it's a blend with cheddar cheese and cheddar doesn't go well with meatball mazza
thinking about BLACK women
>>203050632
was sexually assaulted last thread and i've finally gathered the nerve to speak out about it
>>203050560Japanese people are freaks.Their workplace culture is horrendous
>>203050618Yh maybe you should do the same and @ me rather than make passive aggressive little comments like this
>>203050031I hate it when people lie to me I had someone say I look nice but I feel like a rat
JEW ISRAEL PUPPET PROTECTOR KEIR STARMERhttps://files.catbox.moe/c5yise.mp4
mad how movies unintentionally popular with incels are very good films (like Joker 2019) and how movies intentionally and deliberately made for people who hate incels (like Joker 2 2024) are utter dogshit
What’ll it be then
>>203050660What did you just say to me you 48-laws-of-power self-help cretin
enjoyed it to be fair
>>203050484Fit.
>>203050721Oh er nothing… nothing*scurries away*
>>203050560not wrong are they
>>203050560yes being cold and wet generally causes colds
Get the wokeness ended
keep japans name out of your fucking mouth
>>203050734Rugby is such a gay shit sport
>>203050734ha! that guy is thinking, "ohhhh, ME BOLLOCKS!"priceless
How's trump not been on Rogan yet he's done a few other podcasts
>>203050737192.168.56.10151°33'00.0"N0°13'48.0"W
>he doesn't believe in the divine right of kingsoh, you're a whig
Get her farts sniffed and her poo scranned.
>>203050785odd post
>>203050785joe rogan endorsed bernie sanders in 2020, maybe trump doesn't trust him
>>203050785Eh? Why would Trump go on Terry Wogan’s show?
my sweatshirt i WON (the opportunity to spend £144.99 on) yesterday morning has been dispatched by nikeof course, as soon as it arrives on monday i will be shipping it off to stockx, where it will be verified as the real thing, and then sent off to whatever wretched darkie decided that spending £257 to buy it off me was worth ithere is the sweater in question. horrible. it literally says NIG on it
All me btw
And before you go all crazy about "doxxing" janny IT'S A JOKE, IT'S A FUCKING JOKE WITH MADE UP INFO ALRIGHT
get the coordinates pasted into maps
>>203050799niggo
>>203050785Rogan is committed to the anti-woke centrist schtick and doesn't want to be seen as decisively joining team Chud
BizzasedAmeritarqs fuming
>>203050799might as well make money off them if they're here
>>203050822another victory for Paulie Walnuts
Should we switch from "me bollocks" to something else?
>>203050822Trumptards were saying this was going to deliver him the election
get the streetviews from 2022 and 2008 comparedmad how ugly cars are now
>>203050844foy
Is it normal to only be attracted to someone enought to want a blowjob from them and not go far enough for sex?There's a girl at toil who I'm attracted to. But theoretically I'd happily take a blowjob from her but can't imagine myself shagging her Is that normal? If you're going to get a blowjob why not go all the way to shagging?
>>203050859The post I was replying to was specifically about america
mad how there's like a good 25% (conservative) chance any 18-25 year old woman you meet has sold nudes online
most people who seethe about unions are just jelly their industry doesnt have a strong one
Q patriots standing back and standing by to protect the Republic from a Second Steal
>>203050866that's normal for gay man
'Now, Johnny Dods, my man! O Johnny Dods, think if that be lie a Christian, and ane o' the heroes o' Boddel Brigg, to entertain: stranger, an' then bind him in a web wi' his head down, an' mell him to death! O Johnny Dods, think what you are about! Slack a pin, an let the good honest religious lad out.'
not sure what to do this weekend. im usually doing nice things with the gf but shes at a wedding so im at a loss
>>203050872didnt ask
>>203050689
>>203050874that's fine since i don't meet any
>>203050866>Is it normal to only be attracted to someone enought to want a blowjob from them and not go far enough for sex?this is the norm for most bisexuals and convicts
scheduled a rendezvous with the weedman at 2
jew york
armpits are aerated to be fair
>>203050914what type of weed are you buyig
>>203050897Weird she didn't invite you to your wedding
might update my linkdin profile and see if any recruiters contact me
Remember when /pol/ memed Q-anon into a thing, and the thought-virus escaped containment, infected the normies and led to them storming the US capitol building? I think about it a lot.
>>203050905>pupet>new word order
>>203050806No it’s not that’s my address you bastard
the self checkout is supposed to be for people who are just running in for a couple little things really quickits not your little i have social anxiety machine
bbc spammer was even more unhinged last night. very strange behaviour
>>203050897She’s gonna get some dick
mad how it's society's fault i smoke
>>203050968dont bother reading any post with a frog or wojack attached
>>203050961In the uk there are bigger self checkouts for if you have a trolley of shopping
Gravy’s good tonight
>>203050961i do click and collect these days.
don't bother reading any post longer than 8 words
>>203050999>>203051011i stole it from twitter sorry
uk = you gay
>>203050933loose Cali
>>203050961There's self checkouts for large quantities of items these days Infact at my local supermarket there's only two checkouts staffed, the rest are self checkouts
>>203051019your mum stole you from the gay retard baby hospital
why do yanks have gravy with pasta
>i do click and collect these days.
oh lads I do not feel good. need this leftover kizza for brekky to sort me out
>>203051049Get the slop on
Do people really believe accountants will never be fully automated? Like seriously?
mad how nobody has ever seen my erect penis
>Polish verminYou take that back!https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/czeg6xk6rkko
cant stop farting
>>203051066AI can already analyse large sets of data. i do it at work.
>>203051078kek this is me
>>203051068why don't you post it here then
just saw my reflection in my phone screen and im actually attractive mental
>>203051113good lad love the positivity
>>203051105er, blue board mateplus it's ugly
I'm a mutant
Beard coming along nicely
age is just a number
Right wing chudcelsOn your boardGooning over your women
Morning lads What shall I be making for breakfast this morning? I think I’ll be making myself an omelette.
>>203051088Your being replaced
>>203051208I’m having overnight oats and black coffee
>>203051078been farting so much this morning I had to open some windows to aerate the flat
>>203051221im not an accountant
>>203051011seems like the worst of both worlds to mecan't pick your stuff by date or looks and still have to go there
>>203051208a 'shroom 'lette?
>>203051221*You’reWe use proper spelling around these parts.
>>203051243its the best of both worlds for me
>>203051238Oh I am sorry but it seemsike most white collar jobs are gonna be automated in the future. Its already happening so they are gonna lay off people
>>203051237Alri Emma.
so is roobz x blakeney actually a thing?
>>203051258how though?
can see catberge out the window hiding in some grass
>>203051226Overnight oats sound terrible.>yeah here’s some slip which I left in the fridge all night to get even sloppier
>>203051287The Hawk Tuah legion
>>203051292what in the world could he be hiding from?
>>203051293Idiot
>>203051285i dont like big shopping deliveries, i live close to the supermarket, and i dont want to spend any time inside the supermarket
Todays plan: Read at a cafe and wander around aimlessly for hours cause ive got no mates
me subway had arrived, lads, so i'll be off to scran it while watching mad men nowtoodle oo!
>>203051311the world
>>203051326sad little life you lead
>>203051322you really shouldnt be taking up a table in the cafe that a normal couple or group of people could be using instead.
>>203051208bagels
>>203051319yeah spose if you live nearby it's not bad. didn't think about that as i'm equally very far away from all big shops in my town
>>203051344Not my problem
>>203051326horrible little rapist
>>203051342You’re literally on /brit/
>>203051342>>203051364you're made me feel absolutely dreadful
dreadful, simply dreadful
>>203051326Which episode
>>203051326twat
>>203051322after your cafe-read and aimless wander perhaps you could wander into the pub and have a pint or two>>203051381enjoy your subway stay happy
>>203051388i'm up to s02e06
a man is coming to fix the oven. he could be here any minute.
>>203051381wretched little vermin
>>203051397Never been to the pub on my ownWhat do you even do, cant read in there
Anyone wanna play Pokémon Go with me?
deary deary DEARY me
>>203051360no one wants to have their wholesome cafe experience ruined by seeing an incel. just stay in your smelly incel bedroom your entire life
>>203051410um
>>203050799Yesterday I spent £120 on a three piece suitlad
>>203051381be off with you, at once!
>>203051381Don't be bothered by runts on /brit/ lad, enjoy your sandwich.
>>203051416maybe you should Pokémon Go have sex
Today's plan: stay in my smelly bedroom and post on /brit/
WMAF is based and natural, and the best thing is, no porn companies need to push it. It just happens.
first one and last one for me
>>203051415you can have a read with a pint just as you can have a read with a coffeeyou could also potentially have a chat with someone
that lad spent twice as much money as I'd spent on a three piece suit just to buy a sickly yellow hoodie that calls him Niggor
tonight's plan: find my way out from the corn maze i've entrapped myself in
got the Pokemon Emerald on
>>203051420honestly don't understand what the article is saying
>>203051454why cant you people be normal about sexualitycouldve just said 'i want to fuck asian women'
>>203051473best of luck
>>203051459second one for me i reckon, love the hammer
THIS close to relapsing on kfc someone talk me out of it please lads
mfs get a macbook and all of a sudden they got work to do in public places
It’s so easy to laugh. It’s so easy to hate. It takes GUTS to be gentle and kind
Had a KFC ricebox yesterday it well nice
>>203051470you are poor in runescape and in real life
>>203051483GOOD LADgood lad
>>203051499corrr a zinger box meal would go down a treat so it would
>>203051499get the kernel ordered lad
>>203051510To be fair I was shocked at how cheap the suit was, I would have spent over twice that if need be
>>203051505now what if i turned that aroundit takes guts to laugh, it takes guts to hateit's so easy to be gentle and kind
>>203051504i went to a cafe recently and it had signs saying laptops were banned between certain hours.
>>203051483>you arrive in Hoenn
Sir Keirnal Sanders
people who get corn as their side order from kfcwhy?
>>203051570it yummy
>>203051567good post, really enjoyed it
>>203051543ahaha
Test drove a Dacia Duster yesterday and that anon is right, they're fantastic little cars
>>203051427>>203051470i also sold these which i got for 140 quid retail for 380 in june
craving some fried chicken
>>203051499I buy a large bargain bucket, eat about half, then wrap it up and put it in the fridge. KFC chicken reheats extremely well in the oven. It's a bit like how you can get triple cooked chips. Oven reheated or double cooked kfc is brilliant. Improves rather than harms the texture. KFC and some takeaway pizzas are arguably better reheated than initially sold, and is also an economical way of buying large amounts of cheap KFC, not wasting it, and having it convenientlyOh you said talk you OUT of it
telling my family how i get all my social interaction through /brit/
>>203051601they look like chris chan's shoes
i dont own a suit
>3 piece suitLmao alright Gareth Southgate enjoying your waistcoat lad? Off to a Deano wedding are we?
KFC Operatives on a mad one. I will NOT buy your slop!!
quite like those kfc sliders
>>203051627ktim
coleslaw and potato wedge is the only way
>>203051584Pokemon sapphire was the first game I can remember preordering/anticipating Was exciting
>>203051629No, an awards ceremony next Friday, where I expect to win the biggest award in the biggest department of the biggest insurer in britain
decided to put the ol' dressing gown in the washprobably got a years worth of cum and ballsweat on it
>>203051627i own several
get the popeyes bought
>>203051601You dress like youre cosplaying bananaman
We're raping the disabled tomorrow.
>>203051629I'd prefer a 3 piece meal from KFC
>>203051649Corrrr look at Mr Wolf of Wall Street here
OMG!!!!
Going down to Gaza gonna meet some friends of mine
>>203051326>>203051381wish i could take my words back. there's nothing wrong with a sandwich and a bit of telly. i'm sorry
>>203051647nice lad
urrgooo
>>203051649I'm sure this comes natural to you as you have won the boring bastard award multiple times already
>left side of me face got sunburnt from 10 seconds exposure to direct sunlightThe svffering
>>203051666mmmm hitler cake
>>203051666niggas really eating a hitler cake lol
>>203051693
>>203051650send it to me
>>203051714>giffuck off
>>203051693screaming
>>203051689Used to lock him in the fridge
>>203051723why do you hate gifs, mate? it really sets me on edge
>>203051597>>203051691um
>>203051693sent that cunt flying
>>203051723>>203051723>>gif>fuck off
got the washing machine going at 1400rpm, fuck the downstairs neighbour lmao
>>203051666not really a hitler cake thoughjust a swastika
curse these unscrupulous wretches
>>203051789>>203051789>>203051789
>>203051693ruined that lads weekend
>>203051421Since when is reading seething? Do you think incels all go to cafes to read mein kampf or lolita or something? Fuck off
>left of me face is still hot and stinging
