first for me

I lied

Beasting and feasting x

Sniffing an arse

>>204348413
based, love (You)

sometimes the reply window auto fills in my email and have a complete sense of dread that I almost doxxed myself
reckon I'd have to play it off and reply to the post claiming I did it on accident in the hopes that everyone would assume I was just taking the piss

M Night Shyamalan's daughter is insanely beautiful holy shit

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>Simpson-pusey

>>204348459
The prevalence of the fake doxx gimmick means you'll always have a cushion to land on if you do accidentally post it.

>>204348484
city’s endless mutt academic production line is a madness

>>204348459
>on accident
FOY

What do you want for Christmas?

So he’s dropped his gimmicks and gone back to posting his boring shite anonymously?
Slight improvement I suppose

>>204348459
I'm pretty sure they've made it so that emails are automatically ignored

>>204348511
Could I have a council house please mate

>>204348511
a will to live please x

where's mousey

>>204348560
No!

>>204348511
I'd like to get a clue please

>>204348511
a pot of molten lava to dip my bollocks in please

>>204348511
gf

*gives the irish diaspora last names coal*

*looks up what the word permanently means*
wait a moment

new Papa Meat just dropped

>>204348612
being gay

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5:15am pot noodle

I am literally Don Draper from Mad Men except I don't have a job and I'm a virgin.

lads when im using spotify my monitor randomly turns off/on and i have no idea why, any you lads know?

hate self want die

I'm Johnny Knoxville reporting live for Jackass.

>>204348612
were you nonceposting? be honest.

>>204348642
highly grim

>>204348656
dognappers x

>>204348666
*glues my pubes onto your face live on air*

>>204348642
you have pot noodles in aus? they're genuinely the shittest instant noodles you can buy
they have a sort of nostalgia bonus though

Elliot Rodger here.

>>204348642
why you done that lad

>>204348656
Music too loud

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2.2 MB JPG

>>204348671
you wouldn't get it

>>204348649
Hi Don

>>204348656
>using spotify
heh

About to reheat some leftover taco bell
Goodbye lads

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

*opens up to you*

>>204348511
New laptop please Santa

>>204348703
Literally me except I'd heightmog this chimplet

>>204348683
not brand specific it's one of them more asiany ones

mad how peng california is

was always told taco bell gave you diarrhea but ended up just doing my usual 30 minute struggle to poo

hungry for... something... don't know what...

1+1=2

how kill self

>>204348761
Calicorrrnia aha

hot water has been sabotaged...
my life is being sabotaged by these vile thugs in this disgusting place i am stuck in...
these disgusting thugs they can't beat me so what they do is they sabotage me and cheat me like this they arent strong ennough not human beings enough to beat me...
im saying urgently SOS please come to my rented flat now i dont want to wait til tormorrow and rescue me from these vile turds im trapped with... these vile turds have put me in a no hope situation in my life...
im Timothy james byrne and for some reason im being terrorised by these disgusting thugs here... basically I'm going to end their lives forr rhinking they can mess me around even once...please come here now and rescue me from this disgusting place im stuck in...i want somebody to sort this thing out... i am who i am saying i am and im not anybody else ok theres people hiding me away in this place and harassing my life... that thing up there in the ceiling is a particularly evil thing i want to sort this thing out and end its life for putting me in this situation where its messing me about... i want that thing up there to be killed ok...

might play spongebob battle for bikini bottom

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>>204348761

>>204348761
for me, it's indian wells

>>204348791
based

>>204348773
Reckon I'd jump infront of a train
Quick, painless, nobody gets hurt, keeps the cleanup crew in work

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*enters brit*

>>>/trash/70642983

>>204348791
gay freak

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BRAAAAAAP

Wtf this thread sucks

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>>204348818
silly git me haha

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going to watch this couple react to movies on a saturday night again all alone

>>204348820
Is bellyposter in there? Not seen him for ages

>>204348820
mate, that’s got to be the grimmest part of the internet what the fuck is that

that chilli double cheeseburger be looking fine tho

>>204348815
i thought a cable tie swiftly tightened around the neck could be easy

>>204348848
what a lass

>>204348825
no need for that

>>204348848
Wahey look at her go

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Alri what's the craic then lads

https://i.4cdn.org/trash/1731028327723427.webm

any gamers in? has there been a single good game made for the new gen of consoles?

>>204348894
wouldn't know mate not a child that plays on consoles

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anora was good

>>204348820
Scared to enter that thread but curious at the same time.

I love beautiful women

>>204348903
just a child that plays on PC are you

About to smoke

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I'm the oldest person at my retailtoil

>>204348891
Don't think I'll be clicking this after seeing just how grim that board is

are there any people autistically into toothpaste and toothpaste brands

a DOLLAR?

>>204348894
exclusively new gen? no, except demon's souls, but it's just a remake of a ps3 game so it doesn't really count

>>204348903
You are a child if you're still playing video games

>>204348930
smoke em

>>204348917
Here's the highlight
>>>/trash/70643020

>>204348924
why you asking if I'm a child bit odd behavior that mate

Deleted my 30+ porn bookmarks last night
It's a never ending addiction innit. Just wasting my youth away wanking

>>204348969
Based.

Consider semen retention.

>>204348863
From where??

>>204348729
rip in peace lad goon too soon

>>204348965
mate...

>>204348366
Public speaking and long car journeys and dates lol. The most spastic of anxieties.


>>204348398
I'd run it by a doctor desu mate. The meds might be worth it.

>>204348969
never bookmarked porn

>>204348969
rookie numbers

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>>204348969

>gamers, goon out today

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1.41 MB JPG

Live footage of me being mindraped by DTFIC

>>204348969
Posted it again award

>>204348953
so theres no point in buying a ps5 or xbox series x then?
>>204348903
im not buying a gaming pc id prefer to play from the sofa

>>204349027
used tissue under your monitor bit disgusting to be honest

>>204349047
yeah?

>>204349027
what game is that?

those old spyro games are very nostalgic for me

What's a good birthday present for a middle-aged man

Listening to Nine Inch Nails while engaged in a bit of anal play

>>204348761
would love to move to LA but the proto gf wants to move to San Diego

ha ha of course I can't buy a pc I'd have to sit on that seat instead of sitting on this seat

>>204349073
elden ring

>>204349078
booze

>>204349076
i liked the remake me, very comfy

>>204349078
Get a job, or a girlfriend, or do anything at all for a goddamn change
That's how to really impress your old man

>>204349050
it’s that easy, just gotta have a bit about you. Take notes incels

>>204349064
Well spotted but it’s my telly
>>204349073
Animal Crossing New Horizons on the Switch, me and the Mrs are really into it at the moment

>>204349101
>>204349105
saw my nephew playing that a while ago just running past most of the gems and was close to slapping the stupid little cunt

>>204349075
how would i do that nerd you cant use a keyboard and mouse on the sofa

>>204349078
Wool socks

Question of the night:

Bobs or vegene?

>>204349120
don't care what it is get it tidied up you grotty little twat

>>204349078
Hoover

>>204349148
and?

load of lads sitting at their epic battle stations getting triggered, normal lads phone post on the go

>>204349146
Suck on bob
Finger in vagene

>>204349027
Screaming
You mindraped him so hard x

Did you know: that's a bannable offence?

your body my choice

>>204349027
It's so funny how posters here think we aren't friends lmfao

>>204349137
you can get one of those wireless keyboard and trackpad combos
with steam big picture you can use a controller for almost everything

>>204349165
Israel is evil and controls America.
American us evil and controls us.
We're controlled by puppets which are in turn controlled by more puppets.

>>204349187
alri nick still glowing these days?

>>204349148
why doesn't our country just buy them then if it is that easy?

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big bowl of frozen yoghurt with chocolate in it

>>204349189
Best pals that listen to CP audio together x

laptopchad me, post anywhere and not a massive bender, win win

>>204349078
T-rex shaped dildo>>204349079

>>204349148
Sauce needed

>>204349197
so?

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>>204349206

>>204349197
okay but how does that affect me personally

>>204349234
mmmmm lovely

>>204349215
https://www.opensecrets.org/industries/summary?cycle=All&ind=Q05&recipdetail=S

recommend me a good show to watch lads

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>Did you know: that's a bannable offence?

have you lads ever fallen asleep while having sex?

>>204349250
mcafee

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>>204349264

Fucking hate trannies like. There's a few of them in this fetish discord server I'm in and they're all whiney rude cunts. Just fuck off and join the 41% already

(prospective) badoo gf is doing my head lads

>>204349274
Kill yourself instead

>>204349269
yeah your mum showed me your posts

Hate working
Hate not working

>>204349284
Badoo is grim as fuck. Some peng things on there, but also ogres.

Hardly working, more like it

>>204349120
lol I bet your mum only plays it with you so you don't have meltdowns and try to punch her

>>204349309
The toes of a genocidal maniac

got the food and beers, heading over to gfs in a minute where we’ll have a nice evening cooking, watching a film and shagging

>>204349317
can't not think of the bear from jungle book when i see "badoo"
gives me a poor impression of its users even if completely unfounded

sending a singular lol to my mate on whatsapp after he sends me the most unfunny video imaginable because we've been friends that long that I need to keep up appearances

>>204349300
would be funny except my gf is fuming at me

>>204349361
Why are you friends with an unfunny guy

I hope your parents and siblings and any future children you have are all forced to read your entire posting history

>>204349352
you're going to start cooking at this time of night? should have been finishing up your dinner half an hour ago

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>>204349205
yummie! haha

only left my bed to answer the door for takeaway the last 2 days
it's one of those phases atm

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>We're controlled by puppets which are in turn controlled by more puppets.

>>204349274
What sort of fetish discord server?

>>204349389
would throw a party with all my mates and we'd laugh at it all cos im such a legend x

>>204349309
she look amazing for a 60 year old woman ngl

>>204349402
I like this post

>>204349391
what are you waffling about there’s no universal dinner time you bloody nutcase

>>204349402
I HATE this post

>>204349413
BNWO.

>>204349256
>show
Depends what's on at the theatre mate

listening to dnb on a good speaker lads, i am the terror of the flats

>>204349422
go ahead then start cooking your dinner at 7 like a fucking psychopath

>>204349457
autistic freak

>>204349460
absolutely based, we need more like him

>>204349471
never heard of that show before

>>204349429
I should do 10,000 steps in my bedroom?

>do coke with mates until 6am
>sleep at 7:30
>wake up 11:30
>watch youtube in bed until 14:00
>fall asleep again
>wake up 18:30

right then, that's my life ruined for the next week
starving

>>204349460
>>204349466
love hearing about things going bad in England

>>204349440
That would turn me on but don’t wanna go down that rabbit hole. Doesn’t it fuck with your self respect?

>>204349487
fucked it lad but your 20s are there to be enjoyed

>>204349391
isn't it 6:42 PM there?

I'd agree with you if it were later but it's not that late

Farage the bonce
Rees-Mogg the ponce
Starmer the nonce

What do you imagine the world would be like if men outnumbered women 100 to 1?

What do you imagine the world would be like if women outnumbered men 100 to 1?

Assuming it's that ratio just simply because of the natural ratio of what sex people are born as is different

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https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1731177307744230.webm
https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1731177307744230.webm

>>204349508
he said START COOKING not he'll go over there and start eating for all we know he won't even be sitting down to start eating until 19:45 fucking hell even 20:00
does no one have fucking standards anymore

waiting until 8pm to commence steamingtoil bed by 10pm

admittedly I'm a bit slow

>>204349501
Don't. I'm a recovering porn addict who used to be into it.
Destroys your confidence and makes you a mentally ill nervous wreck.

>>204349517
actually will in a bit
gives me something to do

Need me some of that simpson pusey

I ducked a razor, ducked some punches, even ducked a gun

>>204349538
sometimes I have my dinner at 9 mate how does that make you feel

>>204349558
you ducked a gun while i fucked ya mum

>>204349487
used to do 24 hour benders when i was addicted to speed
now that ruins your week

>>204349440
>>204349501
Rorke fantasizing about BWNO
Leftypol out organising trade unions and the wider cause of the proletariat

Dadberg wants me to watch a film with him, told him I'd be down in a bit but I'm not really going to bother

>>204349593
Flake

Just need someone to watch Solaris 1972 and Andrei Rublev 1966 with

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tea time

>>204349566
>>204349579
actual fucking state of you lot

>>204349593
You will regret not doing so when he dies.

>>204349607
Solaris film is wildly different from the book desu

>>204349607
gay

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AND IT'LL HAPPEN TO YOU

>BNWO stands for Black New World Order. A fetishistic term related to BDSM, specifically Race play. Wherein black supremacy over all races (especially white) is fetishized
fuck me what is wrong with you

need to start dressing smarter, tired of looking like a runt

can't remember the last time I wanked but it was nearly a month ago

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>>204349547
just do the best you can fren :)

>>204349593
remember being introduced to some of my favorite films by dad telling me to watch a film with him

today is the youngest that you will ever be

>>204349636
Funny how it's only the political right into this shit

>>204349653
did your willy fall off?

>>204349653
got superpowers yet?

>>204349629
>33
>ear rings

oh
my
days

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3.35 MB WEBM

/brit/ is home base

>>204349607
Go on sneedtv on cytube and pretend it's your birthday and arti will let you compile your own movie night.
Then you can watch it with 100 other runts like me.

>>204349670
They're gauges

>>204349668
don't think so

>>204349665
Adam

>>204349664
ain't the oldest I'll ever be

I really want a wife but I don't want to live with her or have to see her every day like

>>204349629
My grandfather had his 90th birthday and he got a cake that looked like a golf course. that shit never ends

cinq cent milliards de petits martiens et moi, et moi, et moi

Fight for balck riighsts tya fucking icnel chuid

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>>204349684
hit the threadmill fatty

>>204349695
you're gay

>deleted post
did the janny get him? did he accept I was right? did he get embarrassed and delete his post? who knows just one of those mysteries on /brit/

>>204349727
why do you want a wife then?

>>204349727
Nice avoidant personality please never date someone it'll only cause heart break

>>204349684
her body, my willy

>>204349608
CORRR egg chebs

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the reds

>>204349743
ban evasion innit
me? never evaded a ban in my life. i take the punishment and come back later

one of my best mates I ghosted a couple years ago has just messaged me out the blue
anxiety through the roof what the fuck does he want

>>204349755
Past a certain age a man without a family can be a bad thing

>>204349742
and?

she sent me a voice note lads

>>204349608
Ma'am location pls?

>>204349778
robertson to prove the doubters wrong

>>204349785
would simply delete his contact on whatever it was just better not knowing

>>204349797
dubs and you send her your best t rex roar

>>204349786
Should probably work on fixing your messed up mind if you expect someone not to be around you and still want to date you

>>204349797
Well, what's it say?

>>204349744
Past a certain age a man without a family can be a bad thing.

>>204349608
would marry and immediately impregnate her

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bbkwrf5lMqc

SEX SEX SEX

>Alien.Covenant.2017.BRRip.480p.x264.AAC-VYTO.mp4 451.07 MiB
it's kino time

>>204349785
why don't you ask him hmm

>>204349800
hope he's got the legs to keep up with bailey

sick of seeing james bond having sex all the time
get a job bond!

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2.06 MB WEBM

>>204349743
he got nuked, all his posts and images are gone

>>204349727
same, id like a wife for a couple days a week, a job for a few days a week, and to be on my own a few days a week.

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Lord forgive the French, for they je ne sais quoi what they do.

>>204349837
>$4 million house
What's the problem

>>204349837
spaino's villa

>>204349836
>BRRip.480p
uhh based

>>204349824
I bet he opens it and just hears moaning in the background

>>204349820
Nonsense I've seen plenty of marriages where they don't live together. My old professor and his wife both lived in separate houses worked in separate cities and only got together occasionally. That's the perfect marriage to me.

Come on every day? You really need to see your wife every single day? What if you had kids you'd expect to see them every single day too?

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>I've seen plenty of marriages where they don't live together.

>>204349906
Yes low iq people think like that
It's why they all hate their spouse and children

It's Saturday night and /brit/ 'the shagger's general' is discussing which version of marriage they prefer

>>204349837
what country is this?

Watching 90 day fiance the other way This American married to a thirdie jungle asian is trying to explain to her that selling bananas on the street won't make them enough money to have a life. She's started crying.

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I want to steal her heart and I want to smell her farts.

Might become a caporegime

>>204349955
Some balkan shithole, serbia, greece, albania, kosovo w/e

>>204349952
Settling down now we're all in our thirties

Bought a cock cage but couldn’t fit in it. Don’t understand how they do it

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>the Queen is dead

LOL

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wish i was a backbencher in a meme party entire day full of shitposting on the highest stage

>>204349952
What do you think shaggers do when they grow up?

>>204349962
Where were they living? In the US?

Because I've seen shows where an American/Thai couple live in Thailand for example

>>204350013
bunch of lads sitting off and having a laugh

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>>204350005

>>204349999
FOR WHAT PURPOSE

pooing a wee out my arse

>>204350080
Dunno. Bored and it was cheap on Amazon. Thought I’d try it out

>A British teenage girl is in intensive care with severe injuries after a paraglider landed on her during the last lunch of her holiday
sad but also a bit comical

Jean Luc Picard grinding against Worf in his private quarters whilst Data and Riker discuss moving on the Romulan Empire

>>204350104
link lad been after one myself

>>204350022
They were living in US where the guy was making $150,000 a year as an Elevator Mechanic. They've now moved to Thailand because she wanted to and she told him they can make banana chips in her dad's kitchen and they can sell them on the street for money. Her entire family has told her to go back to the US but she doesn't want to.

>>204350128
Have you been

>>204350105
Absolute garbage who does shit like that though. Like why are you landing amongst a crowd of people instead of an open space

what a fucking idiot

oh did i mention my giant cock was too big for my cock cage

told my mum I want to kill myself and she made it about her
hate her so much

vgh... the ancient trvdition of selling banana on the street...

Who can take a sunrise?
Sprinkle it with dew
Cover it with chocolate and a miracle or two

The Candy Man
The Candy Man can
The Candy Man can 'cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good,

>>204350105
I knew a girl whose brother died after a hot air balloon landed on him. She was Australian.

>>204350128
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CJ8MT9HN

>>204350148
women arent logical by nature

Watching Subservience
Megan Fox is a robot

>>204350105
>Describing what happened, she told the outlet: "We were meant to fly home at 7.30pm, so we went down for our last lunch together, having nice English food.
>"I just remember Lily just eating, biting into a slice of pizza and this paraglider just came from nowhere and just totally wiped her out over the table.

>>204350105
The paraglider should be executed.

>>204350201
amazon shouldn't sell disgusting perverse filth like this

>>204350227
fucking hell

>>204350148
mumberg told me to stop wasting my life and I told her that I could waste it in much worse ways, so then she said go ahead and do it then. called my bluff.

Theres no rule about me going to an all you can eat buffet and shoving all the food up my arse so i will do that

I'm a nervous wreck that barely leaves the house and my best mate from a few years ago is running a construction company and has 10 people under him

mad how things turn out

>>204350227
>having nice English food.
at least try to make your lies believable

>>204350252
Yeah but you can get a pocket pussy delivered next day for a tenner so it’s not all bad

>>204350272
ktim

>>204350272
ask him for a job

>>204350258
Could have said you'd continue talking to her and left it at that

>>204350272
you'd be happy with just one man under you

>>204350266
Maybe not, but there are laws about indecent exposure and outraging public decency. Might want to take that into consideration before shoving slices of prawn toast up your arse lad.

my mum was a right cunt to me when i was depressed
jokes on her cos she's dead now lol

>>204350337
She's alive mate and living under a false identity.

>>204350337
yeah we she's resting peacefully and you're still seething about her

>>204350005
lol

>>>/fa/18308239

twerk
twerk
twerk
twerk
twerk

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>shitty

>>204350272
ktim

NEW
>>>/fa/18308239
>>>/fa/18308239
>>>/fa/18308239

imagine seething at memories lmao
AHHHH NOT THE PAST NOOO AHHHHH

might r my own a

really needed to do laundry today, got nothing to wear for toil on the morrow