cool edish
about fucking time
>>204530494i have NEVER shat myself, don't lump me in with these freaks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxLIely1Ba8
poo
unruly /brit/posterswho shit themselves at school must be taken at hand
Remembered that weird lad who would keep making sex noises in class and shitOne time in RE when the class was talking among themselves there was that odd moment where everyone coincidentally went silent just as the lad went "prepare your anus" in a high pitched voice obviously not intending it to be that blatant and the teacher kept asking him what he said
leftypol showing rorke just what dat mouf do
>>204530610isn't defecation natural however
Learning hindi to speak with the missus’s parents fluently :3
used to have a pair of boxers that i called my "unlucky undies" because it seemed like i happened to be wearing them every time i sharted
>>204530613ahaha done himself the clown
>>204530620shut the fuck up
Get a thread going
>>204528285thanks polad
Thought I was feeling tired enough to sleep but I turned off the light and closed my laptop and then my sore teeth got me seething about the dentist and now i'm wide awake again and considering my options.
might get "you lucky bitch" tattooed on my penis
>>204528285good edition tbfnice, uncontroversial and not cringe
ruby
was friends with one of my neighbour's grandkid who would occasionally come visit he had a little brother who he was forced to take everywhere one memory I have burned in my mind is that time his little brother just randomly pulled his trousers down and pushed out a log in the middle of the street as the bin men were reversing up
A few years ago I was sitting here in posting in /brit/, blogging my life's troubles.Then some random guy responsed to me "Shut up *my name*."My first name isn't particularly rare. But it's not exceptionally common either. The chances of someone just randomly guessing it are astronomically low. I feel almost certain that the person who replied to me on that day was someone who knew me.Every time I think about that moment, I shudder and feel fear like I've never felt before. Someone posts here who knows me. And I just don't know who it is.
anime
>>204530652still made by a jf though
did a think
>>204530632how DID they know what a menu was?
>>204530651Bet your dog will be well chuffed
>>204530652took all the strength I had not to post a fox
please keep in mind that a large amount of Australians post on /brit/ and your British terminology may sometimes go over our headswe'd appreciate if you take that into consideration when making future posts
Still sweating thinking about the fit English teacher who did the flirty put down. Thinking about all those other awkward moments like when I accidentally bumped my hand against the fit IT teacher's arse and she laughed at me and said it was okay while I stuttered out an explanation and apology or when the Irish teacher overheard me say "nignogs" and she asked me what it meant, even though she knew exactly what it meant or the time me and my mate got a racism lecture cuz I slapped him in the nob and yelled JAP SLAP like you do, but he was actually Japanese lol
Does anyone else trade stock itt? Wanna work together?
>>204530656alri warwick
>>204530655what the fuck ahaha
there was a kid in my school who kept sneezing really loudly and did it once in the middle of an exam and the entire hall burst into laughter cunt gave me a fright and made me draw a line across my paper when i flinched
>>204530673A: it's a turn of phrase B: it's not at all unlikely that orcs had at least a passing familiarity with the concept of restaurants and menus
Might get a lottery syndicate started.
i told my friend (who also browses the 'chon) that i come here once while very drunk and he had a look and said you were all utter freaks
>>204530656Remember a lad on /brit/ saying "I know who you are. I can tell all the posts that are yours" and I asked him to pull one from the archive to prove it and he pulled one from like 4 years prior and it actually was me haha that was spooky
>>204530680sounds like pretty normal amusing secondary school antics
>>204530656fuck off derek
remember that show about a guy who traded a paperclip for something else and his trades steadily increased in value until eventually he was able to trade something for a house?sounds like bullshit to me
>>204530631bhenchod
The wealth fund of the largest maori tribe has just invested in a nuclear fusion startup
>>204530705/brit/ is one the of the least abnormie parts of 4chan
>>204530725he told people he was doing the show and it made them much more likely to accept the trade
>>204530680at least you never lost a fight in front of the whole school
>>204530737didn't zelensky say something about cheap nukes recently?
>>204530656This happened to me except it was most likely my brother since he noticed I had /int/ open on my PC tabs once and must have realised I was posting later on with the IP countdown on his mobile or whateverKind of embarrassing because I was properly making some weird posts too
>>204530687YeahYou wouldn't wanna work with me unless your goal is to lose money
sir rear'd 'nana
>>204530680science teacher once locked a lad in a cupboard for calling him a paki
>>204530688>>204530713>>204530723I just found it in the archive too.It wasn't "shut up" but the wording was slightly different.It honestly struck the Fear of God into me. I spazzed out and spent the entirety of the rest of that day shitting myself, thinking someone had called me out.Some time afterwards, I remember getting drunk and spamming the thread asking for the person who called me out to show themselves and challenge me.It was fucking terrifying.
>>204530738i think he was baffled by the concept of having a completely topicless thread thats more like an anonymous chatroom
>>204530687together, we could own this city
>>204530784
>>204530746Lost a fight in front of my mates once (a fight with one of said mates). Went full foetal position as I was getting battered and I never had their respect after that until I battered one of them back a few years later for being rude to my cousin.
i once did the monty python hitler walk in the playground and the head teacher started lecturing me about the nazis
>>204530748DunnoNot really a "Ukrainian news" guyMore of a "New Zealand news" man me
>>204530749See, I don't have any siblings. Nor anyone else who has access to my browsing history. The person who replied to me that day could only have identified me from my posting style + the content of my post. Which makes it all the more petrifying.
>>204530785>Some time afterwards, I remember getting drunk and spamming the thread asking for the person who called me out to show themselves and challenge me.Screaming, was this after the Euro finals too because I think I remember this
>>204530746oof sorry to hear lad
>>204530784Never interacted with a black or brown person until I was in uni. Simply didn't have any in any of my schools. Only that one Japanese lad.
>>204530787the topic of this thread is British culture try explaining that to him
>>204530656alri adrian
>>204530705He probably just got hatted and is mad
>>204530775>>204530788Help me help you
>>204530799Heard some politicians did the haka in parliament yesterday mate
>>204530816let's not kid ourselves here
>>204530799the most recent thing I know about NZ is the death statistics I was looking for to prove alcohol is deadly. neat stuff NZ good job
>>204530785very paranoid behaviour, even on the off chance that they did actually know who you are it's not like there was any significant chance they were coming to kill you or harass you in any way
First black person I ever met was some footballer who came to the school to do a Give Racism the Red Card lecture
>>204530737ngai tahu my arse nz is nuclear free
>>204530811No, it wasn't. It was 2022.
>>204530814>>204530853first time i ever saw a black irl was when i was at an airport play area and bumped into a black girl and i got scared because i thought i was going to turn black for touching her
Lied to the fit IT teacher once about us all being allowed to leave class and go roaming post-exams (because of peer pressure) and everyone left the class to go see their mates but I didn't have any so I stayed in her class and just chatted to her for an hour and a half. Was actually such an autistic spacker growing up.
the topic of 90% of 4chan is unironic noncery
>>204530853thats exactly the type of reason most young people hate blacks these days
>>204530835Yeah that happens sometimesThey are from a political party that is literally just about getting stuff for maori so they regularly act up
The third black person I ever spoke to in my life was Alex Iwobi. That's actually true lol. Was like 4 years ago. Can't remember if it was pre or post lockdown
>>204530883what are you on aboutmost young people like to think they're black with their roadman accents and grime music or whatever
>>204530853Old mate must have shagged the shit out of the frumpy teachers in the school haha
>>204530851It's not paranoid really. Like I said, the chances of someone just guessing my name were infinitesimally small.That's not the full extent of it either. 5 minutes after this Anon called me out, he made a new /brit/ thread with a subject which subtly - but directly - referenced something that only someone who knew me personally could understand.I feel absolutely certain that this guy knew me. I just wish I could figure out who it was.
>>204530853for me it was some abo who came in to teach us about boong culture, he gave me a quartz geode because he knew my father had died recently and he said "i want you to have this because crystals are connected to heaven"
>>204530892did you tell him he is shit? because he is shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4Q9vZr9eVg
>>204530897alri grandad its not 2014 anymore
I remember when peng and grim were all the rage in /brit/, moreso than now
best counter strike map?
counter shitejust not that good is it
>>204530862no it's notthe only ban is on nuclear weapons and nuclear powered shipsalso even if we were it wouldn't matter, no nuclear material is created during nuclear fusionalso how did you know NZ maori tribes lol
>>204530906Think I just said "alri lad, what you doing here then?" And he told me his cousin was playing for the Nigerian team in the football tournament we were at or something like that. Something to do with the Nigerian team anyway
>>204530853Fuck me that reminds me of that time the school forced us to pretend to be enslaved AfricansYou know those weird fucking "So Sorry" pics of white kids at UK schools where they're chained up and shit, it was like that except without the shirts and black people watching over usFucking weird shit in hindsight
>>204530941ah yes, when black twitter posting on /brit/ got so out of hand they had to filter desu senpai
>>204530953good lad
new zealand is much like the uk where everyone that leaves is white and everyone that arrives is brown
>>204530953>>204530968it was good 20 years ago. the question is still valid
>>204530965still can't believe tb(h) got filteredwas an outrage
>>204530954im the anon from chch>>204530974not true. im white and left nz for the uk.
desu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PozVPAfYias
>>204530998you'll end up in Australia like the rest of them
>>204530989its mad ting fa(m)
>>204531005owo oniichan?
as part of history/social studies our class put on a reenactment of a thanksgiving feast between french colonists and nativessome of us dressed as colonists and sat at a table, while some of us dressed as natives and sat on the floor (we were all white/asian)bit rum really
>>204530866https://desuarchive.org/int/thread/162940332/#162940962
Uh oh! Megumin peed herself again...
>>204531039my understanding is that Canadian natives are just Asians
look lads i've just caught me supper
>>204530974I know a lot of Māoris from nz Also a lot of 2nd and third generation fijian Indian-nzs for some reason
>>204531044Wow. Yeah, that's me. Impressive that you remembered it. It's very difficult for me to read that stuff. I'm looking at what was possibly the single worst moment in my entire life. 2022 was a fucking haze and I wanted to die for every single second of it.
>>204531054All Native Americans originate from a mammoth hunter culture from Siberia
>>204531063good job lad
>>204531068sorry to hear lad
IT'S AN OMEN
>>204531039never did any cringe shit like that
>>204531081SMACK MY BITCH UPTAKE A PICTURE
>>204531068I remembered it because some poster was ranting about how his life was over because he said something racist over the euro finals and I assumed you were the same poster
>>204531054Your understanding is wrong
2022 to me feels like it was yesterday. 2020-2024 went like a blink of an eye
>>204531017not bloody likely. what possible reason would i have to move to Australia? the only reason id bother is if i had a cocaine connection and a means of smuggling it from south america. or maybe heroin. cannot concieve of any other reason to move to Australia than easy money from criminality like the rest of the kiwis who move there.
watching jewish debates
>>204531044>first reply is a tranny picnothing ever changes
>>204531120yeah feels like one long year as opposed to a distinct half a decade
>>204531129mate we have normal jobs too
Going sleep lads. Nighty night
>halfway through the decade and a quarter way through the century in just over a month
might play a bit of 'an 'dreas now that they've improved the definitive trilogy
>>204531111Yeah. I don't like to talk about this stuff. I used to be notorious here. 2021 and 2022 were a blur for me. Even 2023 was pretty awful. It's only very recently I started to come out of that fog. To be honest, I wish every day I could take back all the shit I said in those days. I had a very vivid nightmare a few nights ago where some people compiled a wiki featuring all of my 4chan posts, exposing me as this terrible individual and outlining all the awful things I'd said over the years and attaching them directly to my IRL name. I woke up in a cold sweat believing it was all real.
sir fire starter
>>204531158noooooo stay up and chat with me baby :(
>>204531179Silently hoping you were the lad who would do coke and rant on vocaroo and the globalists
>>204531179self-improvement is a lifelong endeavour
>>204531148Why bother going to a shithole like Australia to work a normal job? I already have one of those in England and its a way nicer place to live than Aussie. You drongos may have other kiwis and Brits fooled but not me.
>>204531199Nah, not me. I did used to do coke though.
>>204531177remember talking about playing san andreas in this general as a kid and everyone was claiming i was a wog
>>204530899You know I was thinking about this and partially the reason we can joke about shit like this is because black people are not so existent in australia apart from sudos, whereas in the us they’re a very present existential group. Joking about being cucked by a black fella is like being cucked by an imp to most australians or people, i.e a non-matter Whereas for white american chuds it makes them see red. I imagine it’s the same for newzealanders and seeing a white girl with a maori fella
>>204531216>England and its a way nicer place to live than Aussiejust plain untrue isn't it
This is Chavoret Jaruboon, the head executioner of Bang Kwang Central Prison in Thailand for 35 years until his retirement in 2012 as well as a musician and Elvis impersonator. He was also known as Mr Music and Mr Murder. During his career he officially executed 55 people but the unofficially tally is believed to be in the hundreds. He took particular pleasure in executing foreigners and white westerners. Before a person's execution he would ask them their favorite song and once they answered they would be shot, and after they were declared dead he would then play the song.
>>204531179why was your life over because of a 4chan postyou must have been paranoid as fuck jesus>>204531221ah that's why
>>204531225>in this general as a kidAbsolutely fucking mad.This general didn't even exist til I was 17 years old.
Bang Kwang looooool
>>>/gif/28149524ahahaha someone posted the nz haka in parliament from yesterday
>>204531252>why was your life over because of a 4chan postNot because of a 4chan post. Because of IRL shit.The 4chan posts didn't help things though. I live in fear every day that everything I said and did on this website will one day be compiled and used to expose me as an individual.
>>204531245It's true. Ive been to Australia and you are not fooling me.
>>204531246Me tricking him into playing Justin Bieber so he kills himself haha
>>204531216if that were true more australians would be moving to england than the other way around, and half of the australian marketing and recruitment industries wouldn't be stacked with english-expats-turned-citizensengland's great lad just don't take the piss
Britain = simp countryRussia = based country
Gimmick idea:posting in all caps except the name of something you're talking about has a lowercase first letter, so that it's shown you went out of your way to not give them the basic respect of capitalising their name
Just bangin' out more Robbie tunes...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk-7umYwTig
England has the nicest countryside in the world but the cities are just too grim to be considered liveable
>>204531300>posting a meme map in spanish that no one here can read hello pablo
>>204531300i don't speak mexican
>>204531321boring countryside
sniffing jenkem
>>204531246>He took particular pleasure in executingSimply untrue. It was only a job and he took no pleasure in it.
>>204531297misguided fools who have been sold some ridiculous Australian dream and btw London is full to the brim with Aussies. sick of you cunts
wish we drove on the left like the rest of the english speaking countries just get a headache thinking about trying to adjust to that if i ever visited
>>204531362got a cat for this. unfortunately it is not a fox
>>204531277what happened
>>204531353even though thailand is not a communist regime so you have no vested interest in supporting it, i still get the distinct impression that you're commiemong
Some gay shitty song on the radio got stuck in my head.Normalfag music fucking sucks ass.
>>204531407Too complicated to explain. I would also be identified immediately if i explained it.
diarrhoealad lad here with another middle of the night update, just got back from another brutal toilet sesh having soiled the bed. can't have a shower to clean up as I'll wake housemateberg up so had to wipe clean as best I could, apply new undies and hope for the best, this brings the 24hr total poo count to a whopping 12, bed shit twice in that time as bonus points
>>204531285Oath. People don’t know how comfy England can be.
>>204531254can't tell if you're taking the piss or are just a dyslexic spacker
>>204531411They achieved their goal
where's a hundred and ninety?
>>204531423
Brad Pitt has a strong jawline but he doesn't have much of a chin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy4mXZN1Zzk
>>204531408You would be wrong. I found your post interesting and googled him and the first interview I found with him contradicts your nonsense portrayal of him as a sadistic executioner taking pleasure from killing.
getting the urge to lick water out of a bowl like a cat
looking at Birmingham in google maps and i keep seeing these orange things and have no idea what they're for
>>204531472just go do it. foxes do a similar ritual, but they also like to pee in the bowl
>>204531423mate go to the doctor that isn't normal
>>204531423what the fuck. you are disgusting. get some codeine or other opium based pain relief for future diarrhoea
>>204531467yeah because he's definitely going to publicly admit that he enjoys killing people
aww! how cute, she wet herself ^^
need australians out of business
>>204531502That's not cute. Jesus fucking christ. I want to kill you, you fucking cunt. Fucking piss and scat fetish bullshit. I want you dead. I'm being deadly serious right now. Die.
>>204531489it's just the shits mate. not that unusual but the first time I've had them myself>>204531499shall be popping to the shop at first light to buy immodiums aha x
used to like jim sterling's videos, can't believe he trooned out, probably should've seen it coming since back in the day he mentioned he was bisexual and in a polyamorous relationship
>>204531500Yet you unequivocally post that he did take pleasure in executions as though he had been bragging. Very disingenuous. You have dishonoured yourself in spreading lies about Chavoret Jaruboon.
>>204531423Surely your housemate would prefer being woken up by the sound of a shower instead of having o deal with the smell of dried diarrheoa
>>204531563i copypasted it from a random post i came across in the archives
so glad alone imagine you had a housemate just constantly shitting himself for days on end
>>204531423geez mate you've really been going through it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcWOviMI6Lkchoon
>>204531548solpadeine max will work better than immodium. get the type without caffeine. just paracetamol and codeine.
used to live alone but i could hear my neighbor's walk and talk through the thin wallsarguably just as bad as living with a housemate except it's much more expensive you just can't win
>>204531522chilli think him being a paedo is worse than having a piss fetish
How does this work? Eating shit makes you shorter?
>>204531662brown immigration
lost the private key to my bitcoin walletpretty mental
friday
>>204531579he won't have to deal with the smell as I cleaned the toilet up before I left and my laundry bin is in my room x
>>204531580Never copy/paste. Do your research. I hope you have learned a lesson here today because you have dishonoured yourself. You have lied about a man, potentially damaging his reputation. In the process you have shamed the flag you post under. You have shamed the entire nation of Australia, once held in high esteem in /brit/ and now besmirched as plagiarists, fantasists, and liars. Hang your head in shame.
date tonightmight explain the difference between pedophile and ephebophile to her, might not see where the wind takes us as it were
the very idea that australians are more sensible or civilized than americans is totally absurd
i've just had this calypsoit is fucking minging
>>204531722counterpoint: i don't care
watching vampires, pirates, & aliens
my legs and especially knees are heating up like crazy. I can feel the blood pumping in my veins and it's really uncomfortable.
hello chaps
>>204531744If you didn't care you wouldn't have replied. Too late to pretend now. Be gone from this thread, you are banished.
divorcing my wife because she won't let me name our first born son Æthelstan
>>204531765um
>>204531765you should go to switzerland and stay at the nice hotel there called dignitas
had too much to drink at mum and dad's last night now I won't go pub tonight
>>204531776what a fucking bitch
>>204531765what is that
>>204531765dont really understand your tranny fixation. id probably shag it if i was doing life in prison but at the end of the day the best a tranny can hope for is to resemble a bird with a knob, and why not just post actual girls.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uB1D9wWxd2w
>>204531771x enjoyer?
>>204531775you have severe autism
>>204531795spewing
>>204531744
Darth Revan was incredibly powerful in the Force and he also was a brilliant genius at military strategy, an excellent lightsaber duelist, a charismatic leader, and he had a wide array of skills including pazaak, demolitions, healing, mathematics, computer slicing, repairing, swoop bike racing, building droids and also he had cool robes.
Every second of my wretched life has been a mistake. Might join a monastery and spend the rest of my life praying
@204531847ah fuck here we go
>>204531819Be calm. Be very calm. Umm hello. I'm /brit/ btw, you must be Aussie. Do you want to go over to the park bench? *whistles* Well Aussie it seems we've both got autism. Thats good to know.
In March 1300, wardrobe accounts of King Edward I of England include a reference to a game called "creag" being played at Newenden by Prince Edward, then aged 15. It has been suggested that creag was an early form of cricket.
>>204531900I don't like cricket
>>204531882not him but I laughed at this post
>>204531847He is kind of like James Bond, i.e., a guy who is really cool and good at everything.
>>204531882haha x
>>204531914WTF i'm literally, literally listening to that right now and "I don't like cricket" came on right as I was reading the post
>>204531935Haha thats crazy
it seems your eyes are as brown as the tree... trunksthat's a lovely smile you've got there
>>204531914keep thinking it's just a silly coincidence
>>204531943is a little bit don't you thinkgood song though
oh well there's plenty more fish in the sea for me
>>204531919I'm like that too.
>>204531957bloke tried his best didn't he
>>204531974it's been over a decade, wonder if he found another fish in the sea since then
get the sheep shagged llywelyn
anyone ever watched that love on the spectrum showquite good
>>204532011no
>>204532016well you shouldquite good
>>204532025Is it good?
the abject thrill of winning an ebay auction
I can't really explain why, buthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNqDvr87GTAWhen I hear this song, it's January 2022 againAnd I'm fighting against the strongest fucking tide I've ever foughtBut at the end of the dayIt might all be okay. And maybe I believe in that possibility.
>>204532071You didn't need to swear.
>>204532051yeah pretty goodchatted with some lads here about the american and australian versions before, seems to be a fairly well received hit
>>204532080You didn't need to suck my cock, and yet, I am demanding you do that right now. Suck my fucking penis. Choke on it. Right NOW.
>>204532080casual swearing's british culture lad
Well slap my bollocks.
>>204532094bit homosexual that, anything you'd like to tell the class?
>see caterpillar on path>wriggling and rolling around, trying to dislodge two ants were attacking it>more ants coming>I could try to ward off the ants, or I could even squash the caterpillar to help them>walked awaywho am I to decide their fate?
>>204532121having a cheeky observe matequite the documentarian
>>204532119I am not gay.
one night I was listening to a song by fad gadget and I was about to post it here but I didn't and then the next day someone else posted itvery strange
>>204532011aye
no swearing allowed on /brit/
wheres tismomick
sucking dick isn't gay. but having it sucked is hella gay
Michael was extremely based
>>204532171even if a woman is doing the suckingin fact that's the gayest thing of all
>money can't buy happiness Who ever says this needs to be punched in the dick
>>204532151Legend who didn’t deserve the treatment he got
>>204532183literally fucking who
no doubt my manager has realised by now I'm just a totally useless employee
Sodomising a man for the purpose of humiliation and demonstrating dominance is not homosexual.Similarly, a homosexual man sodomising a woman for the same purpose is not heterosexual. In neither case is the act being performed as a desire of the person's own sexuality.
>>204532244any other gay rape opinions?
>>204532223very autistic australian man who was on a dating show
at what point it it too late to change your life for the better
>>204532269at the top bitch
>>204532269is that shrek at the top?
>>204532274never mate self-improvement is a lifelong endeavour
>>204532274life is a marathon not a sprint
Xbox Kinect what a pointless endeavour
>>204532299that image makes increases my aggravation
anyone here know SQL?
>>204532350thanks loosh eater buddha
>>204530737corr good kittingtonshire diss
Boring cunts
>>204532353no, but I know prequel
Conservatism is an ontologically evil, backwards ideology, while liberalism is goodIt's that simple
loving the facebook memes
I wish a schizo yank would spam random images
>>204532434just put the fries in the bag lil bro
>>204532441no no NO
>>204532417lol
Extremely surprising lack of interracial couples in the Christmas adverts this yearwtf's that about
*poot*
at maccies waiting for orderberg
>>204532586what you getted
i can't get a girlfriend or a job. people laugh at me behind my back. the west has fallen.
>>2045326126 piece mcnugget and a cheeseburger
>>204532629mmm very good yesand a sauce to dip?
JUST GOT NEARLY 5K ON MULTIPLAYERthe answer was really close it was like 4890 points
>>204532616I laugh at everyone behind their backs and to their faces bothis there something wrong with this?
>>204532646sweet and sourmy scran is taking forever, "fast food" my arse
I don't live in fear... I live in fury
>>204532702where in the uk is fury
>>204532721birmingham
yee
got some whey in the mail and upped my protein intakefarts are rancid
>>204532738>>204532738>>204532738
