captain poo is ready to fly

mental how quickly life passes you by when you do nothing with your time apart from rot in your childhood bedroom

>>217472622
pffffftbahahahahahaha

two link to the new lad loves his two links to the new even though he knows it should be three links to the new, hate him

>>217474243
yet you're here every day spamming the same shite spaki

>>217474243
haha yeah spent 20ish years doing that. mad how far behind I am

>>217474243
I saw myself heading down this path and managed to change it, it's not too late lad

>>217474233
>yeah sorry mum i only spent a long time thinking about what you specifically like and your personality and all our memories of driving home from school with the radio on and all your old CDs and stuff you've said about david bowie and all them in the past and that. really sorry i didn't get you that bath set for £25 and call it a day rather than show you you're seen and loved and cared for

File: G63w-SVboAAgnhF.jpg (674 KB, 2048x1448)

674 KB JPG

cognitive load theory is the most important concept to know about for learning

right well since the French lad was no help at all I'm using google translate to make some chat up lines

kek just received a spam call from a lass in India and I mocked how she spoke and then hung up

>>217474287
i have a undergrad degree but i just can't be arsed to get a job or do anything
i tried applying to jobs and having friends (when i was at uni) but nothing good ever came of it so i have no motivation anymore

sorry mum but this autistic twat on 4chan told me you wouldn't understand the context of this curated and crafted gift i made you so i got you this plushie of the grinch instead, happy xermas

>>217474322
rude, she was trying her best

>>217474320
why not use an AI chatbot, it helped the lad with banter ideas for the wedding he went to

File: KH (1).mp4 (2.29 MB, 720x960)

2.29 MB MP4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UilJwSCHv0Y

>>217474310
mums don't care about that they just want another shitty scented candle to put among the other ones on the mantelpiece so other people can see how caring their son is

>>217474333
ktim ktim ktim!!!!!!

>>217474310
Super super gay

https://x.com/Markos_mom/status/1998477988883497445

Fuck me that's Martin Lewis and by extension ISAmong utterly raped to death.

>>217474243
already accepted my fate
going to be jobless, middle aged, and looking like alan moore, getting dragged out of my house by the police for posting thoughtcrimes on the internet like that yank fella who got arrested for threatening that floridian sheriff on /pol/

it's over it's over it's over it's over

>>217474354
so in other words, your mum's a cunt

>>217474314
not going to read all that though am i

Really don't think I should have told her I was a virgin, lads.

I think I've blown it.

>>217474310
you would have to be literally 13 years old to think a memory stick with mp3s is an acceptable christmas present for your parent. Maybe your mum has set her bar of expectations so low for you that she's happy to receive something like that but that's probably because you're a hopeless spacker that doesn't know any better x

>>217474409
have sex

gymtoil? officetoil? studytoil?
all done lads

>>217474417
so in other words, your mum's a cunt

>>217474314
Yeah? How about this

*farts in your face*

>>217474409
fucking hell are you still here? you were on about this in the morning as well

>>217474390
yh pretty much

got my mum a kindle a few years ago, bitch

i reckon becoming a dedicated member of /fit/ is the only way for me to ever escape my impending doom

the exercise regime:
>400mg of modafinil and some pre-workout for energy
>do my workout
>200mg tapentadol to come down from the stimulants and as a reward for doing my workout

I got too cocky I forgot to plug in a certain cable

>>217474328
if you ever want to get out of this rut you HAVE to get a job, it's the only option
it's that or steadily turn into a recluse creepy weirdo that thinks the squirrels are spying on him, up to you really

>>217474454
Well I'm in panic mode.

>>217474479
mug

>>217474493
honestly think there might be no hope for you lad, even lachie was never this autistic

>job
>socialise with colleagues
>fit
>gf
currently on stage 2

>>217474517
it's a fucking larp ffs

>>217474440
no, she just has a good level of respect for her son. Your mum is probably overwhelmed with pride if you turn up on time with your shirt on the right way round

>>217474500
It’s fine though idc it still works

Hello lads, I'm an attention seeking twat with a shit made up gimmick about how I've fallen in love with a prostitute because I'm too stupid to find a real girlfriend

>>217474480
you are right.
it's just where i live there are no jobs going and there is a massive demand for them
no one wants to hire me out of all the other candidates

>>217474493
pathetic mode

>>217474529
that's a very optimistic attitude, but you've seen the levels of depravity that have appeared in /brit/ in recent times, would you really be that shocked that someone here could be this much of a hopeless spacker?

>>217474549
would rather our relationship be based on love than respect

>>217474526
ktilm, I have no problem at all socialising with people but I've got zero core strength and a small gut

pastry chef gf with a pet eel

ask me anything about Amazon EBS lads. I know it

>falling in love with a prossie
oh no
oh no no no

>>217474595
vintage gimmick

>>217474591
what you don't think she's capable of feeling both?

i like...
old movies

>>217474600
I can't really judge since I've fallen hopelessly in love with female colleagues more than once

pushing out a huge poo

i need a mcdonalds hash brown

there is a 5 minute window of conversation when you meet a woman where if you fail to make a good impression then it's over
most important thing is to not come across as a desperate weirdo

>>217474622
was just a short response i'm not going to carry on a pointless conversation with someone who is either trolling or coming from a completely different perspective with no intention of changing it

>>217474582
sure but he's been relentlessly spamming about the same topic for weeks despite being told to fuck off and that he's a hopeless retard dozens of times
he consistently refuses to provide any proof of his claims and just forgets all previous advice he was given
either he's an actually braindead downie who shouldnt even be able to post here, or it's all completely made up for attention. one of these is more likely than the other

>>>/v/728010416

>>217474582
>>217474674
maybe you should treat it like a weed and your discussing it is water

so you guys like stuff or whatever?

>>217474669
I accept your concession

found a chip worth £17 in the television OwO
might go PC the other parts that ive found over the years before getting the gold off the worthless ones

>>217474707
I'm stuff

>>217474674
He belongs on /britfeel/ you only become this retarded if you’re an /r9k/ poster (which he is because he was a virgin at 29 and was caught crossposting) whenever you see a post he made, make sure to tell him to fuck off back.

File: raf,360x360,075,t,fafafa_(...).jpg (17 KB, 360x360)

17 KB JPG

>>217474664

+17 £ to my money

>>217474713
yeah mate you really showed me that my mum who still listens to her playlist every day was actually negatively judging my financial expenditure

>>217474726
+£17 to your carats fund

>>217474707
https://x.com/oldfriend99/status/1306746038598930433

watching videos of indian men frantically mixing curry slop with their bare hands
just need to find a video of one of them doing this on the train tracks and my life will be complete

>>217474738
get him eaten
get him breakfast wrapped (brown sauce)

>>217474755
nah, or maybe
if its only £6.99 then it comes out the JSA payments. and £6.99 is 1 time drinking, but I would enjoy it much more. was thinking about it yesterday, and unless they are still blinded by hate then they would agree (or turn 180 and now be for it) that I could do with spending less on alcohol as I have done this fortnight (only got drunk twice)

File: IMG_5241.jpg (536 KB, 1170x1409)

536 KB JPG

Will this work at uni? Can anyone confirm

frantically mixing some curry slop with my bare hands

>>217474726
mousey theres basically no gold in electronics
you'd have to spend far more on the chemicals and equipment needed to extract and purify it than it would ever be worth

>>217474707
More of a things appreciator than a stuff enjoyer, myself

>>217474775
There's one on /gif/ right now if you dare

>you've been warned

Holy fuck you guys are gay af
>comes to 4chan
>gets assblasted reading a headline about a kid dying
>reports it and crys because I attached a Bradley Walsh image to my post

GET A LIFE LMAO

File: 1765099523456213.jpg (85 KB, 680x680)

85 KB JPG

>>217473999
Based and checked
Good job anon

>>217474801
you people are always talking like this as if I dont do my own research - but was probably a sudden med expert during COVID

just scranned a box of guylians
kms

my iud fell out ;)

File: seasidekitchencry.png (1.13 MB, 1084x680)

1.13 MB PNG

>wondering why the car keeps stalling
>left the handbrake on

Fuck my life

how the heck do parents afford private school fees

>>217474825
you scranned guy loins?

>>217474792
Yeah I would rather get drunk too but to be fair you can drink AND play uma game at the same time, there’s nothing stopping this

>>217474828
sex sex
come sex me

watching the father ted christmas special and eating scrambley egg

File: 1765028029363985.gif (470 KB, 140x140)

470 KB GIF

bite toby

>>217474817
Holy fuck you're gay af
>comes to 4chan
>gets arseblasted because he got reported
>cries because the janny gave you a warning

Don’t reply to it

>>217474853
Don't recall asking for updates on your shitty life m8

Another gif....


Excellent

>>217474707
stuff? yeah

ew especially ew if the "mousey hurr durr im smarter than u dont do what you are doing" is the tranny faggot whos been doing a driving test for 1+ years. keep the name on so I can mentally filter you and your dogshit advice (stop giving advice when you are gonna cut off your own dick)

>>217474820
Thanks man :D

rich coming from a fucking yank

>>217474822
if your research led you to believe it was economically viable to extract gold from waste electronics, your research was bad. sorry pal.

>>217474875
s

disco 82

>>217474868
don't recall inviting yanks to post in this general

>>217474866
You're a cockroach. Get a life narc

melty

>>217474875
It's not me mousey. You're my friend I'd never be mean to you.

>>217474875
Bodied that agpaedo

>>217474902
kys

>>217474875
Why don't you just use a real filter if his posts make you this angry every single time?

>>217474817
>>217474897
the raped 67

>>217474888
youre just jealous that I can go find televisions, because you dont have any televisions
>EPCOT and you never wouldve made it

could kill dogberg sometimes, annoying fucking screaming cant be left alone for ten minutes

>>217474383
thank you for confirming yourself as a complete piece of shit

i am the apex predator.

Getting called raped ITT is all he has

mental how nobody has put an IUD in their nose (not talking about your used fallen out one I mean use a fresh one)
one in their nose for winter time to prevent colds and flu. IOD (inter-os-device)

>>217474929
get it shagged

>>217474958
already done mate

>>217474897
You're a seething little bitch because the janny warned you

copper IUD in the nose (IND - inter-nos-device)
zinc tablets by os I just realized it isnt the nose UwU. snos. Nasus

File: Vincent_Willem_van_Gogh_104.jpg (226 KB, 1256x1492)

226 KB JPG

More British than you. Buster

>>217474409
Who, the escort?

>>217474950
Invent it then
Genuine billion dollar idea you've got there

da waped

>>217474930
a mealy-mouthed response

got a £20 amazon gift card as a christmas thank you from one of the department heads in the uk
of course i'm grateful for the gesture but £20 is a bit weak when all the people located in britain got some nice bottle of something probably from his big personal reserve in his massive house

>>217474973
it's a new day!

hostility rising in the /brit/ house. THe ads i desperate need of a poo based joke the calm the tensions

File: QmQoj7qVUe9ejspcLh3VHsAyE(...).png (1.03 MB, 615x835)

1.03 MB PNG

>>217474817

File: IMG_5269.jpg (1.89 MB, 3600x4400)

1.89 MB JPG

the paedoph isles

I want to do one of the pregnancy tests where it measures for your fertile window. the ones where it measures progesterone
>>217474981
OK I will invent it! where do I post my idea?
>>217474992
ty I need to get a game queued because my TP is > 90

>>217474308
oof lil bro

LOVE the phrase mealy-mouthed

>>217475001
Hooting and hollering and running in circles on the floor like Homer Simpson

>>217474999
had a fucking stroke typing this it seems

dropped my vape into a crate of customers shopping last night
customer was cracking up
very embarrassing

oguri cap's nice bum

I also have got a £17 dollar chip from a spicy television that shot sparks at me today

>>217473823
>>217474383
Ah yes

>>217475033
why do you have broken televisions

>>217474972
NEWSFLASH: Kid died. You reporting me won't change that fact. Maybe the parents will send you a thank you email for being such a stand up guy. Stupid cuck fagget

can’t wait to be in st moritz next month

>>217475007
Don't post it anywhere
Get real legal advice about how to proceed with a patent
I'm guessing you will need someone to foot the initial capital investment required to produce the product once it's been prototyped and approved for sale
I am not a lawyer or a doctor

rorke laughing hysterically

thanks anon for the carats reminder. I claimed 11K carats on my alt account and can do like a thousand games with that
it might be worth something if I play 1000 times on the account because that is time spent and maybe it will get some whale some 3* umas

>>217475049
silence raped slave

I've been having a lot of fun with uma game actually
mouse posting about it non stop must have shilled it to me somehow kek

>>217475059
no worries mate fucking kill yourself!!

bro paying £17 for a single chip when blue lagoon sells a bag of them for £4.20

File: 446kib-808x805-pink-wojak(...).png (629 KB, 840x859)

629 KB PNG

>LEAVE OUR THREAD
>YOU WERE RAPED HAHA

British banter, everyone.

>>217475059
are you going to have a main account and an alt account which you use to farm parents and fans that your main account can borrow and have for your club :3

File: 1720284876410510.jpg (409 KB, 1170x1599)

409 KB JPG

>>217474322
>not phone sexing the female scammers

>>217475043
Cheaper than working ones

>>217475092
thats not banter
>>217475079
this is maybe banter (idk im autistic)

>>217475092
th6 rap7d

>>217475049
What are you trying to get out of this behaviour?
You misuse a gimmick, spam it, annoy the regular users of the thread, get warned (ie mods didn't ban you), then l come back crying like a child about not being accepted.
I'm guessing you did not have any friends growing up and were neglected by your parents.

You shouldn't bully Mousey he is mentally unwell and vulnerable

>>217475092
silence raped slave

>>217475039
are you a yank by any chance? seems like you've got their trademark combination of hostility and pathological earnestness

>>217475092
this is literally the first thing I've seen since entering the thread and I just know that someone must have heemed you into the sun for you to post this

>willis trending on twitter for some reason
>click it to find out why
>big arsehole front and centre because willis is present in "emily willis"
thanks elon

love will tear us apart

king halo star piece in the daily shop!!!!! 53 king halo star pieces in my collection

catstein always barges in to the bathroom when i poo

>>217475096
id be fuming if my parents matched me with her

File: IMG_5244.jpg (1.04 MB, 1170x1681)

1.04 MB JPG

am I a wigger

>>217475124
He is seething because he WASN'T banned.
Make it make sense.

>>217475137
i need 2 more tachyon star pieces

>>217475133
really do not understand what you're trying to convey here

File: F3is1sGagAAf4R4.jpg (48 KB, 450x597)

48 KB JPG

>l-leave.. JUST Leave Okay!!!!
>holy fuck guys why won't he leave
>report him!!!

HOWLING

File: stupid.jpg (142 KB, 900x450)

142 KB JPG

you now remember king stupid

>>217475149
why

>>217475145
yes

>>217475145
Yes and you have dire taste.

>>217474243
how do people get jobs without references?

mega raped slave meltdown

King halo? Master chief?

>>217475172
firm handshake and applying in person

>>217475155
You've said yourself you don't want to post here anymore.
What do you want from the thread?
Have you tried just having normal conversations instead of spamming?

File: Screenshot_20251210_15110(...).jpg (453 KB, 1080x1732)

453 KB JPG

>>217475145
blacker than me

>>217475145
no, you're a zoomer

>>217475145
oh my days

>>217475162
science outfit

>>217475171
What’s dire on there and why

>>217475195
so 3*? oo I hope you get it before the next daily transfer (unlikely)
she gets it mid-career anyway if you win enough races for a few cutscenes hehe

why would you stay in a thread thats only making you angrier?
bizarre behaviour

>>217475188
Good taste

>>217475199
All of it and it is self evident

right well I'm off to wank to some really weird shit

File: Screenshot 2025-12-10 161011.jpg (199 KB, 1319x920)

199 KB JPG

>>217475151
here's a diagram

aw its a new day
at least I got the trophy on the first try with narita

im off to have a wank to normal stuff.

>>217475187
>>217475207
It was all act. You sound really upset btw

File: Gntj8XIXAAEIr0e.jpg (381 KB, 1536x2048)

381 KB JPG

nth for the gyaldem

>>217475122
womanly response

>>217475218
nothing illegal i hope x

its a new champion/legend*
and the trophy with og cap

>>217475247
silence raped slave

>>217475219
thought you meant emma willis who presented big brother

>>217475247
Which part was an act? Why'd you avoid my questions?

OK BRB
see you in 5. glad the other anon is playing uma game too now >.<

>>217475259
Samefagging shameless idiot. Hope someone decapitates you in Minecraft

been sacked from my last 2 places of employment for assault and job centre berg won't recommend me for any toil courses cause they think I'm a risk

mental how far he got sent flying last thread

>>217474600
I haven't fallen in love with her. I just want to be a regular client.

>>217475292
silence raped slave

>>217475276
an arsehole picture turns up after searching that too for the same reason funnily enough

>>217475314
Download bumble and get a girlfriend

>>217475317
silence raped slave

>>217475302
well you do sound like a risk to be honest

>>217475302
sounds like free bennies forever

mental how good pooing feels

magnitude 6.7 meltdown in progress

File: Screenshot_20251210_151825.png (4 KB, 297x28)

4 KB PNG

anyone ever try this before

>>217475367 screaming

>>217475317
*ahem*
>>217475187
Brain dead

>>217475366
yeah if i realise a post might run afoul of janners

nearly died earlier

a few years ago there was a lad posting here about how his boss raped him up the arse and he ended up getting a huge payout could basically retire
wish that would happen to me

the only third worlders i like are filipinos

>>217475397
you'd need to br able to get a job first

>>217474979
Yes.
I told her towards the end of our second session together. She seemed surprised but congratulated me and gave me a big kiss. She then said I could pre-book a date for January. She also left me feedback saying she can't want to see me again. But after my experience with the Russian escort, I have severe trust issues.

I'm just panicking because I'm currently awaiting a response from her regarding times for January. I keep thinking she's not gonna respond, and I'll have to chase, which will make me look desperate.

She told me she'd get back to me in a "few days" on Monday evening.

Do you think she'll get back to me?

>>217475292
That's not what samefagging
Is this your first day on 4chan?

>>217475397
diego's origin story

what does training wit even do

there's always someone to reply to him and ask for more boring blog details

>>217475417
THE RAPED
>THE GAPED
THE RAPED
>THE GAPED
THE RAPED
>THE GAPED

>>217475377
You're brain dead? That's why you still post here? Help me understand

>>217475395
Having a shower won't kill you

Right I'm not responding to that escort shite anymore, utterly shite gimmique

>>217475302
so what now? other than "free" bennies forever?

>>217475449
A clue gained far too late

a lot of old timers with houses about to die off, expected to be noticed in the market next year

>>217475446
tell that to my dead nan

>>217475433
wit increases skill activation chance, reduces late start/rushed chance, in general improves positioning and timing during races

Obviously no one uses filters here otherwise you wouldn't bitch and moan about things that could be hidden with almost zero effort

>>217475471
More room for migrants, gotta keep property prices high you see.

jingled all the way once, took me like a week to recover

just filter things with my brain, me

Only 2 weeks til the big day chaps

just got covid

>>217475496
the sensible, non-dramatic approach

>>217475341
I'm not a risk imo

>>217475346
it's grim, I need a new PC and £400 a month is the price of 32gb of ddr5 ram. getting invited to places and I'm gonna have to explain I've done fuck all this year again

>>217475455
I'm in therapy, once that completed maybe they'll recommend me for stuff again. I know the gov needs toilers

File: 1765327388415616.png (108 KB, 285x321)

108 KB PNG

>>217475155
Your soyjack collection and ongoing meltdown make you look like, as you'd say, a total loser dude

I genuinely think I must be the most pathetic and nervous man on the planet when it comes to my interaction with women.

wish i was attractive enough to get raped tb h

217475526
I genuinely think you should be shot out of a cannon

>JUST IN: Tourists visiting U.S. will have to submit 5 years of their social media history under new proposal.

zenno rob roy
boioioiong

>>217475547
why would we have to provide that surely it's all on yank servers anyway

lotus eaters have sold out in the last week or two

>>217475547
"Sir, this guy's a ghost. He must be one of them"

drank so much last night I ended up decking the halls

>>217475570
kill yourself nonce

Men's humour be like
>rape lmao

why is that toddler so jacked

was in costa coffee in london earlier and a homeless man started grabbing all the sandwiches and walked out with them in front of everyone
i asked the staff what they were going to do and she said "we are told not to intervene"
this is how we lose our capital city, when nobody does anything

>>217475526
I'm worst, I looked down at my therapists thighs cause I struggled with eye contact and I wanted to glance at the notebook on her lap then she abruptly crossed her legs. felt like a perv. this has happened before, me struggling with eye contact and a lass thinking I was staring at her tits

Molested melty

>>217475547
wonder how they'd react if you haven't used social media at all in that time

>>217475616
Then you'd be refused obviously you stupid twat

first he was raped physically
then he was raped mentally

>>217475627
but that's unreasonable!

is that malnutrition

>97 year old new york diner still makes poo the old fashioned way

File: eyJidWNrZXQiOiJhcmVuYV9pb(...).jpg (11 KB, 300x300)

11 KB JPG

>kiĺl yourself nonce

alcoholic monkey: got to get this human off my front

wish I had a computer powerful enough to generate AI video slop

File: file.jpg (562 KB, 850x1071)

562 KB JPG

>>217475558

>>217475675
Cool cartoon kid

>>217475675
most right
most right

File: file.png (661 KB, 1894x873)

661 KB PNG

eu5 bros...

loli feet

File: 1280px-View_of_Quinebaug_(...).jpg (207 KB, 1280x960)

207 KB JPG

Liquid diet starts today

in dik tus her feet would get it if u know what I mean (my dick)

job centre want an extra appointment with me. wonder what that's all about

waiting for the amazon man

+1 to my careers goals

>>217475736
just busting your balls hoping you miss it (so they can sanction you)

>>217475736
going to give you a promotion, youre the best
x

every spring in parts of China urine is collected from prepubescent boys and is subsequently used to boil eggs. It’s a delicacy which is sold for twice the price of a standard boiled egg.

>>217475751
how far are you getting in careers now? me I just started winning with vodka again yesterday

Doctor mousenonce, are you sure a prostate exam is necessary

>>217475755
it's with a claim review agent

>>217475798
*prostated in front of u* yes

Been out of work for a month and parentbergs are pestering me about jobs and threatening to kick me out more with each passing day

>>217475794
quite far with oguri cap, I'm having a lot of fun with it and I think I actually get the game now

making a tinder and its hard work

Mousey buying gallons of horse cum off eBay

>>217475547
doubt this will pass because it's logistically insane and bad for tourism and business, as well as being retardedly invasive

>>217475826
og cap is so fun. her ultimate is literally a teleport lel

>>217475824
what were you working as before?

>>217475049
I didn't report you. Also you're so much of a cuck to the janny that he's got you crying, faggot

>>217475841
it really is and it's my favourite
just shoves you in front of even the fastest racers :)

>logistically insane
lol they will just get AI to do it

Great now he started samefagging too

>>217475843
Data entry

>>217475824
ask for their help with getting a job and a girlfriend. if they want to be pushy parents then put the responsibility to them. then they cant just blame you or threaten to toss you out with the rubbish. if they consider you a failure you are their failure.

i may or may not be brewing a cuppa shortly

>>217475911
My mum kicked me out for the night when I was 17 because I didn’t have a part time job while in college yet it’s up to me to find one and fast. Spent the night roaming the local shopping centre like a hobo until it closed and then I walked around for hours lol

>>217475824
Get a job then

doing a metaphorical poo

A firm smileshake and a hand

>>217475914
brew a good post instead

>>217476003
You're asking too much from these meatheads anon. Their lives and everything in them are a joke

rorke's instagram feed rated by ai

saw some earlier
mad how short their skirts are
just saying

Fucked up the new with autocorrect. Someone make 1

>>217476081
>>217476081
>>217476081
>>217476081
>>217476081
>>217476081
[spoiler][/spoiler]