Rob Beckett edition
hahahaha stupid yank
get the fucking arses out and up in the air I'm horny to fuck some brit holes
The elites are completely out of touch. A quarter pounder is 7 dollars
>>218623438 # I've got stacks, fucked 19 girls and one troon in my time, been accused of groping a fat chick (i was just on mdma and got too into the hug) but I'm drunk and have work early tomorrow. I'll come back some other time and do some stories about embarrassingly failing to get laid. Oh one just came to mind >Live in party house with people closely linked to local venue, so bands would stay at ours on their way through or sometimes play at our house >Swedish uni student who hangs about the gigs is back at ours for a party >Winding down and she hints she doesn't want to go home >Offer her my bed >Start making out and get close to having sex >I've been drinking and doing coke so my dick is in a fragile state, I know it's not going to stay hard with a condom >Act like I'm having a crisis of conscience while holding the condom and tell her I don't want to do this >She's cool with it, just goes to sleep >Unfortunately still very horny so start jerking off while groping her very flat arse, cum on her leg >Roll over and go to sleep >Next day she's very clingy and follows me and housemates to breakfast and then comes back to ours >I want to get stoned at this point and just ask if she's going to leave, which she does. >See her around for a while and she doesn't seem to be bothered by the nights actions
>>218623634Blinded by the sheer amount of British culture in this post
hate having to eat it's like a subscription service for being alive, it's gay as
cheeky phone wank on the cards. wee chinese fella spying on me through my phone's camera and microphone will have to go to chink therapy after tonight
Mouse is banning people from his Twitch stream for asking when they'll be getting their Mousey Merch You've been swindled!
in bed farting
>>218623652imagine sitting at your pc typing this shit out lmao
>>218623434>>218623472coming round the corner
>>218623660/brit/ is /anglo/ deal with it
>>218623691Phoneposting in bed actually
remember when Derren Brown won the lottery? how did he do that then?
>>218623634>simulationsare they talking about just running it through ChatGPT or what
i shag loads of twat
>>218623681best place to do it
no wonder this place is going down the pan yer a bloody waste of space
>>218623708It was on a delay Learn to use Google
>>218623652why didn't you get stoned with the swedish lass
>>218623708presumably he bought a lottery ticket
>>218623430I used to show my ex 4chan posts while we were chilling and she would laugh. She would show me tik-tok stuff and I wouldn't laugh.
>>218623660you don't say this about the gay sex or poo posts
>>218623737She was annoying
>>218623610it's alright matewe'll just use my thread next time
>>218623711https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCXnL8U6ops
>>218623708He watched it live and then said the numbers just after
>>218623743british culture
Timmy generating pictures of his ideal Pang Pang on Deepseek
Who’da thunk it.
>>218623763Isn't that what you do
>>218623752i will see to it that we do not, unless i've buggered off by then, in which case run wild
portuguese cunt never even replied to me
>>218623777you won't have a choice
>>218623776Yeah
need a good rogering
You’re from the Sainsbury’s aren’t you?
>>218623773if he truly had ocd he would have shot himself perfectly in the centre of his skull rather than haphazardly to the side
>>218623798STAY THERE
>>218623791even if you link yours first, all i have to do is advertise mine as a "non-yank edition" and the lads will take my side, many such cases
>>218623797rubes?
amazing cricket fact
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f07Bm9Rj5BUpickme foids are cosplaying as amelia lads
girl at toil has recently started asking me direct sexual questions out of nowhere and I don't like it
>>218623811WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?
>>218623805I reckon that image isn’t the real x-ray of his skull.
lying in bed shaking like a leaf
need to get a new laptopold one diedrec me a laptop boysi want you nerds to spoonfeed me links so i can just 1click buy and not have to spend hours searching and comparing thanks
currently having a philosophical poo
>>218623843like what?
>>218623798>>218623811>>218623852upboated bro's.. i get this reference
>>218623843>>218623858Bizarre posts
>>218623857I know, it just annoys me that it isn't accurate since I also suffer from OCD
>>218623843take it to hr get her done
>>218623816you think I can't post it with your shitty gay flag? don't under estimate me
BLOODY HELL TURN ON BBC NEWS RIGHT NOW!!!!
grow up
>>218623884bitch shut yo ass
>>218623843Do the needful bro.
>>218623893oh no what's happened? i haven't paid my tv loicence so i cant see it
>>218623893no thanks
>>218623893rip david attenborough
>>218623865recent examples:>have you ever had sex with a black girl?>are your balls larger than average?>would you spit in a girls mouth?always completely out of the blue and unsolicited
>>218623935so? have you had sex with a black girl?
>>218623840>Averages 30k views Where did you find this slop
just had a baked beans poo
>>218623935>>have you ever had sex with a black girl?Why would she ask this
>>218623935holy shit, go and fuck her for fucks sake
>>218623941no, I don't find black girls attractive. Maybe the mixed ones but I'm not sure that really counts
>>218623843just tell her you're not going to fuck her and to stop angling for it
there's been an explosion in the north tower of the world trade centre, a nigguh must've ate too many beans!!!!
40 minutes to cook and consume my chicken tenders before we tick over into dangerous territory.
I’ve never known a physically attractive autistic person
>>218623935is this the one that would smile at you and say hi
>>218623935she's kinky lad go and rape her (consensually)
>>218623972what if she asked you to fuck a black girl while she watches? would you do it?
>>218623935>would you spit in a girls mouth?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa2tDZxnm6w
>>218623968she has a bf lad, I really don't know why she does this to me I think she's just trying to get a reaction or something
>>218623950was in my recs for some reason
>>218623893fucking hellllll
>>218623979>tendersFOY
dated a stripper onceshe was super clingy like would follow me to the toilet, want to know where i was going, when id be back, would ask me to ring her when i left work and if i wasnt back home quick enough would kick offshe was convinced i was going to leave her for other women bizarre behaviour for a prostitute
https://youtu.be/sZYB5fFCiA4?si=CkEJ9o-JTaps-wKt
>>218623746and was also imaginary
>>218623935>no >yes>no Then shop her to HR for being a skank
>>218623860herehttps://www.gumtree.com/p/laptops/dell-g3-15-3500-gaming-laptop/1506156137
how would you even know if your balls are larger than average? who measures their balls?
>>218623634who cares fuck poor people
>>218623982Anthony Hopkins
>>218624003jay.jpg
>>218624002Says it on the packaging mate, Mr. Tesco knows his stuff
>>218623985no that's a different girl, this one is a slightly chubby 5/10 who I am very fond of but don't fancy at all
>>218624012you can just say you have tiny balls mate its perfectly alright
mi look
For me, it's isabella_simple_as
>>218623998Oh...well idk then. She might be a slut. Have you been with a black girl is I guess a normal question but the other two are weird. Usually if a girl asks me this It's usually their way of flirting.
>>218624037how old are they? zoomer?
>>218624012common for men to do this, you never played rugby before?
>>218624059does /brit/ seem like a place that has rugby lads
>>218624049well yeah i do now because i've been on the steroids for ages, but i don't really care because my knob's still chugging along at a respectable heft
this cunt is going run out of videos soonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTS9zErNjdQ
>>218624012if you don't know then they likely aren't larger than average
>>218624055she's a bit large
[YouTube] Measuring my balls for the first time. (embed)
>>218623979sell/use bys are a farce, use ur nose retard
shant be clicking sloptube or streamerslop links thanks
where's my knighthood?
>>218624058borderline zoomer, I think she's 24 or so. She actually comes across as quite innocent which makes these dirty questions even more jarring
do women like balls?
mi tink mi gwan tek mi own life
>>218624059larp>>218624080this
>>218624148they love the smell of them
how do you find out whether your gut biome is totally fucked
Wanna shag that Stevie Martin comedian bird. >>218624145>She actually comes across as quite innocent which makes these dirty questions even more jarringhot
>>218624166press F3
>>218624106fuck u got us there lad
just cant take women with those ridiculously large thighs and arses seriously like love, you look like mewtwoyoure basically just advertising youre only value is a warm hole for some blacks to dump their cum inside
>>218624166Poo flavour
>>218624148there are few textures more luxurious than that of a freshly shaven scrotum
>>218624145probably got it from social media, some zoomers seem weirdly open
>>218624166probably based on how horrific your farts smell
i bought incense sticks a while ago from a dude in the train, maybe i should light one up.
>>218624148They say that but I'm not sure I believe em.
>>218624145>borderline zoomer>24 or sooh brother, are you a special zoom'lennial, born just at the right time not to be a cringe faggot???fonc
>>218624166you visit a gastroenterologist mate
>>218624186>>218624196sounds unscientific
gymtoil in a bit then. will need to use the secret pre-workout to wake me up
>>218624221don't really understand what you're trying to say here, is 24 not a zoomer? (I'm 35 btw)
wonder what heatherpaedo is up to these days
>>218624166Do you have symptoms, are you often bloated, does your stomach hurt a lot? do you have liquid shits a lot?
>Turn every 3-4 minutesAnd constantly let all the heat out? No chance, you get one half way through and that's it
>>218624235giwtwm
>>218624225makes sense now where do i hire one
>>218624227>secret pre-workoutis that what you call a bump of coke
>>218624252Why
>>218624235insane dumper, one of my favorite phenotypes
>>218624145>She actually comes across as quite innocentalways the filthiest most kinky ones
https://thisvid.com/videos/worship-white-men/
>>218624259no i speed down the street with my head sticking out the window
>>218624265umm idk just want to be pretty with a huge dumper ig
>>218624275cant watch that without showing ID
>>218624245>often bloatedyes>does your stomach hurt a lot?yes but not agony or anything>do you have liquid shits a lot?the exact opposite even though i've tried eating more vegetables and beans to combat the problem
Just back from The Two Towers lads. Got there a bit late but luckily my entire row was empty except for me, though there was definitely many more people there than were at The Fellowship screening. That girl from yesterday went to the toilet after like an hour and when she came back she sat next to me, which I thought was a bit presumptive of her. Still, she was nice again so no harm really. Also the family in front of us left before it even got to Helms Deep, which I found a bit weird. That bird asked if I was coming to Return of the King tomorrow too and I said yeah and she said she'll see me there then, so I suppose she'll be sitting with me again tomorrow.Looking forward to Return of the King. Always cry like 8 times during it lol. That's my blogpost for today.
>>218624288Bizarre
>>218624290It's a cuck video and you're cucked lol
>>218623634>>218623660
>>218624305so are you gonna shag her or what
>>218624305she likes you
>>218624310really? why?
>>218624236consensus goes that 'zoomers' were born '96-'12(ish)big gap between 24 and 30, especially for a womanof course you know that, seeing as you are 35
>>218624305was she fit
just unironically done a pooat this time of night
>>218624313absolute gimp
This almost exactly matches my time at university and why I dropped out lol
>>218624326ok so shes not borderline zoomer, shes a full card carrying zoomer. Good to know I guess
>>218624279based
>>218624291I know this might be a controversial thing to say in this /gen/ but since I stopped eating legumes and beans (I used to love beans) all of my stomach problems went way. I used to feel bloated and slugish and couldn't understand why and when I stopped eating lentils and hummus and beans i'm like a new person. Kind of miss making sausage and beans or pork and beans but it's worth it.
>>218624366Gimp is a good thing right?
got karla_honey_ on
>>218624344had two shits a day every day for a fortnight until yesterdaywent and bunged myself up with peanuts didn't Itoday's single turd was a struggle
>>218624367When I was in halls they had a group chat called ‘[Anon] is a weirdo’
thinking about ruby granger's bum
>>218624406it is a nice bum
>>218624101it's survive the jive's sister, you could beakermaxx your offspring with her
>Prison officer jailed for having sex with inmatehmm
>>218624367probably should have made regular cookies instead of what looks like leprosy sores if he wanted to make friends
>>218624367maybe if he made something not freakish
>>218624367they look shite tbf just make normal cookies and people would scran them
>>218624410Handsome lad
>>218624419just remembered that one video of one noshing off an inmate
>>218624410post his cock
>>218624391>I'm gonna starve to death
>>218624419>it happened... again...
>>218624391why has she put it on the till then?
>>218624391promo's good
>>218624367>Matchewww no
>>218624391slop
Did a poo, stomach aching and screaming for another poo an hour later, just not on
>>218624456how do you even get this big
>>218624466probably thought the staff would listen to her sob story and let her take it all out of the kindness of their hearts or something then threw a hissy fit when they demanded payment
>>218624419>Isabelle Dale (pictured) was found to have one inmate's street name tattooed on her neck
>>218624321Haven't even thought about it tbqh mate, just went for the films, which have absolutely not disappointed so far. I didn't realise how beautiful some of the miniature work is in the films.>>218624322Yeah she seems to do. Tbf she's nice too so if someone asked I'd probably say I like her.>>218624339She has very soft pretty features and her hair is a lovely shade of ginger.
>homer bimpson
>>218624506ok mathew
got the kind of depression where i can recognize my problems but can’t ever find the wherewithal to do anything about them. the appropriate neurons in my brain simply do not fire when it’s time to take action to improve my lifesad!
>>218624503They're putting something in the water
>>218624506so you're saying you met a pretty girl that's infatuated with you at a LotR screening and you've been too engrossed in the miniature work to even acknowledge her?
>>218624473nonce bait
>>218624494A life long consumption of sugars and starches and grains and fried foods. People like her drink soda instead of water when they get thirsty.
>>218624503Need these slags locked up for a long time to set a precedent but that will never happen
>>218624506The extended boxsets came with their own respective "making of" which are just as long as the movies; if you like the minatures in the films give them a watch
>>218624506at least get your fingers wet lad ffs
>>218624321no>>218624322she doesn't>>218624339no>>218624305that said, based, I am seeing fellowship tomorrow. very excited-- pretty sure i saw one of them in the cinema a long time ago but if i did, i was drunk so i dont really remember.my proto-normie friend has never seen any of them so we are going to watch them all in the cinemai made sure that we didn't sit next to each other though, he complained a bit but I dont like being with people in the cinema, and didn't think he should be either. what is the point in going to watch a film on the 'big screen' if not to get immersed in the film. how can I do that with some mouthbreathing fucking mongaloid sat next to me slurping/yamming his £15.99 goyslush/shabboscorn next to me
>soft features>nice hairso she fat
>>218624503SHARIF DON'T LIKE IT
>>218624305Is she cute? please don't cry in front of her bro.
done a wank two days running and my spunk missle was bigger today dunno how
>>218624583sc
>>218624602Got that flouride stare
drank some water just then
>>218624391people just filming instead of heemingin my day these retards got put down
>>218624624What does that even mean you chuds just repeat this
>>218624602nothing wrong with a bit of fluoride once in a while.
>>218624557>The prison officer wrote: “I literally worship the ground you walk on, you are my best friend, my motivation, the reason I keep fighting.”>Dale also said his music was “phenomenal” and praised his ability to “create all those bars in such a short period of time”.>She continued: “You are so talented and I am honoured to be the girl that gets to stand by your side.”>Dale added: “I would take a bullet for you without a doubt.>“I will remain right next to you in all that you do, whether it’s through good or bad, I am right next to you.>“I will do anything I can to help you and that’s because the love runs deep.”
>>218624549I don’t see how an adult woman in her 20s could be described as such
stopped wanking when i got a girlfriend and never started again after thatheard stories off people about losing sensation in their cocks because of death grip dry wanking for their entire lives
>>218624602>and fluoridemousey seething
>>218624376great, and your a card carrying faggot, go back
brushing my teeth then getting into bed
Changing the narrative on America
Everyone deserves a chance to start over
>>218624647lol what a mong
nothing like falling asleep with the soft patter of rain outside. Night lads
>>218624650>heard stories off people about losing sensation in their cocks because of death grip dry wanking for their entire livesktim
My first gf at the ripe age of 28
>>218624466we get a lot of shoplifters in our store who still go to the trouble of scanning it all on the self service then just walking out without even trying to pay very odd behaviour when they could just steal it the old fashioned way
>>218624650Based. I used to do that so my loads were bigger for her.
>>218624649because non nonces like women who look like women with arses and tits and not flat chested flat arsed 5ft tall skinny bitches with the body of a small 12 year oldsimple really
>>218624548I'm hardly gonna sit and have a chat during the last march of the Ents lad, am I? Seriously though, the miniature work during the flooding of Isengard is absolutely incredible.>>218624562That's a very good shout lad. I still have the DVDs from like 2004 or whatever. The ones with that cracker Dom Monaghan prank interview with Elijah Wood.>>218624568Sure we'll see what happens lad.>>218624577You'll enjoy it lad. Fellowship has some of my favourite shots in all the films and the sound is really good in that urround sound thing.>>218624606I'd say she's pretty yeah. I'll cry in front of whoever I please. I'm not ashamed to be brought to tears by Sam's loyalty or Aragorn's reverence to his friends.
>>218624664you gonna stop being a tranny freak any time soon then?
>>218624664Some people don't get second chances mate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Za1lKdXed5U
Looking up land, I wonder how much it costs to build a home
>>218624305Amazing how completely dogshit the films are compared to the novel. One of the worst book to movie adaptations.
>>218624664sorry but we are unable to reattach your penis
>>218624698I like Sydney Sweeney and Elle Fanning as well. Emma is cute and attainable
>>218624705>I'm not ashamed to be brought to tears by Sam's loyalty or Aragorn's reverence to his friends.what a fucking melt
Can’t believe Uma Thurman was only 24 in Pulp Fiction
>>218624698You've never had sex.
>>218624738in my experience the cute attainable ones are usually the ones with a literal queue of blokes lining up to be with them and are never single for more than a couple weeks
>>218624705>I'd say she's pretty yeahget her number or socials or whatever>I'll cry in front of whoever I please.fair Not that I have ever cried in front of a girl haha...no sir
>>218624741I shake my head while reading this in public so everyone knows I disagree with it
>>218624583lol na tbf she's not fat. weirdly, nobody at the screening was fat, which surprised me.>>218624749What's the point in pretending you're above emotions when watching films? Never understood that. I'm there to be engaged by the art in the way the art is trying to engage me. It's like going to a panto and being too cool to shout "IT'S BEHIND YOU".
>>218624675is she sexy and funny? thatsall that matter if you ask me.
would never propose if I got a gf cos id have nobody to invite to a wedding
>>218624738>Emma is cute and attainablemmmmmhmmm. lad...idk manidk
I only get emotional watching films if I haven't had a wank in a few days and then I'll cry watching any old shite. what's that about then
>>218624741Nodding my head while reading this, a thumbs up to any Black men on the train
>>218624796it's the best man for me, I have friends but none of them close enough to be the best man with loads of funny anecdotes to share, they're basically just one notch above acquaintances because I'm very distant and reserved with everyone
>>218624796You can invite me, I love a wedding, it's the only time i drink alcohol and I dance and stuff, it's fun.
>>218624796Big weddings are overrated
>>218624391Is this the new netflix series?
https://i.4cdn.org/int/1768906909934435.mp4boysmy penis was not prepared
wish everyone had the same opinions as me
>>218624795yeah she’s alright
banger of a choonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeIYpNOEnUw
>>218624698destroyed that little mollusc
>>218624796civil marriage is the way to do it if you ask me, without all the bullshit draining your bank account.
Might apply but I don’t know if it’s for late middle aged cat ladies
detest this bitch
>>218624907Get them homed, fed, on the bennies, and on their way on your tax money
>>218624907do you speak urdu
and the very latest from heatherpaedo?
Mental how in a years time half of /brit/ will be conscripted to fight in greenland and the other half in ukraine
>>218624907this is bait right?
>>218624875the japussy
Enoch Powell was fluent in Urdu
>>218624907you reckon she's hosting migrants in her own home?
>>218624889ktimmad how i'm right about everything but people just don't see it
>>218624940I'm afraid that I don't meet the minimum fitness requirements
>>218624705>I'm hardly gonna sit and have a chat during the last march of the Ents ladbased>Sure we'll see what happens ladgood luck>You'll enjoy it ladim sure I will>I'm not ashamed to be brought to tears by Sam's loyalty or Aragorn's reverence to his friendsbased>>218624749small penis here lads
>>218624932Yeah
>>218624940War is for fools.
>>218624731epic fail that was lad
>>218624898this was on an advert and it really annoyed me
>>218624608Use it or lose it. If I wank/shag regular its a good colour, consistency, and quantity. When I leave over a week its yellowish, thick, and gloopy.
Fun fact30% of this country has absolutely no personal or familial link to pre 1997 Great Britain.
huge israeli clitoris donkey cunt
I wouldn't vote for Trump if I could but I do like how he's shaking things up and bringing unpredictability back. Those 'end of history' cunts are truly destroyed now
>>218624947MORE LIKE URDONT!!!!
>>218624731lotr movies were fantastic the hobbit on other hand, fucking awful
>>218624907err but leftypol said asylum seekers don't get benefits
>>218624944No, you are witnessing the terminal stages of a society lead by women.I'd tell you to learn from our mistakes but it seems that you're on the same path towards self destruction.
>>218625012I like both biden and trump, they both are funny and loveable, for different reasons.
>>218625012i pity his successor almost as much as i pity his future orphans
>oneitis has herpesEasiest way to get over a girl
>>218624305Good lad. She sounds nice. If she looks nice you should ask her if she wants to go for a drink after.
>>218624907ah yes, a very real and authentic advert
ziedy and yamgodhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwUkGjKSyGg
>>218625012I would vote for Trump
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At8v_Yc044YThis is peak.
>>218625032>I'd tell you to learn from our mistakes but it seems that you're on the same path towards self destructionIt's gonna be hard but we'll see.
I’d vote for Marky CarneyHe seems like an honourable man
>>218625012Fukuyama predicted all of this
why are women like this
could not give a single fuck about the beckhams
>>218625062both dead now of course(this is a good song)
>>218624907They put me on wank duty
I voted for Drumpf in 2016 then slept too late the last 2 timesEvery candidate serves Israel and Jews
>>218625032if it's really and truly that bad then there would be no need to fake adverts like that
I'd vote for Walt DisneyHe seems like an honourable man
>>218585268>>218585268>>218585268
>>218625083idk it's pretty depressingprobs something to do with the (media) obsessing over niggers being attractive+you watching too much pov blowie porn
>>218625099is it true you have to wait hours in those voting linesI have honestly never been in a voting line longer than 5 mins
>>218625118>>218625118
>>218625036Boomers crack me up. I hope the next President is another doddering old fella that says inappropriate stuff. It's becoming tradition for the Yanks now and I don't like cynical Gen Xers.
>>218625099Not reallyIsrael is an ally in a historically hostile regionAmerica is conquering the Middle East, and that's a good thing
>>218625086https://soundcloud.com/lareena61030/fgkck42sj0wl
