Funny Edition
>>220122912Only decent scene in that dogshit pretentious movie
amine
>>220122820
it's KOTURDAY YOU FAGGOTS
Being sick feels kind of good
>>220122958YeahFull body fatigue makes lying in bed comfier
>>220122930Kekk
Does your city look like thiswww.youtube.com/watch?v=C-83-YPYSKA
i'm going to masturbate now if you're cool with that
>>220122985I do not consent
>>220122886I have. It's not so bad>>220122892Oh cool. You ever consider moving to Quebec anyways or is it too hard with the language shift?>>220122905Yeah, rough stuff. Pillaging the countryside is such an unreliable tactic but it was necessary for so long to wage war.>>220122926I wasn't a big fan of that movie either.>>220122928Cute lol. Frieren hates demons too much to find it cute tho.>>220122957We should make the us military ai infrastructure hatsune miku
No man is an island except me
Could intelligent life exist without hands or some kind of tentacles or maybe an elephant like trunk? I just can't imagine an species with hooves, fins, or wings ever building the technology we have.
>>220122985dont do that. it's lent
>>220123004It could exist but they wouldn't be able to build anything or create a civilization
>>220123004Nit just that, civilization is basically impossible to create without wood. Humans required multiple species with specific traits.
EEEYYYYYY IM WALKING OVER HEA
>>220123004I don't think there's any rule saying it can't, just takes luck and millions of years
>>220122989>You ever consider moving to Quebec anyways or is it too hard with the language shiftim not very motivated to move there only to live alone, so planning to stick with the parentbergs for now
Eating shit
gonna stay up til about 4-6 AM because I have to work an overnight shift on saturday night
time to rape my penis. i wanted to do this the easy way but you guys have forced my hand.
>>220123025If you lack the ability to change the world around you I don't know how you can change the world and the food chain. If you have hooves, fins, or wings all you can do is run or kill
I would like to fuck a bbw with gigantic boobies
>>220123154Done itSuper boringPetite women are way better
everybody STFU, I'm watching my animes
>>220123136Birds build nests, it would be that but on a more complex scale Also imagine they have hierarchies, a few of them make all the decisions while most of them work ungodly hours building nonstop
>>220123156I think you’re probably right. But still…
>>220123154Done it Super great BBW are the greatest
We really got plapjaks itt right now
>>220123164idk I'm still a arm and hand supremist. How is a bird or fish gonna mine. Birds build nests with already loose branches and twigs
the gf
slay
Might be dying in my sleep tonight
>>220123232You won't
>>220123042Makes sense to save money
>>220122912Funny how?
>>220123207You don't have a vivid imagination
>>220123207>Birds build nests with already loose branches and twigsNTA but they also build nests out of mud and clay, animal fur, their own spit as binders, etc. Birds have culture (scientists won't admit to this) and some crow species have a sense of humor and accents and tell their children stories and folklore. Crow parents teach their young whether so-and-so human treats them ok etc. Crows have oral tradition and I don't need a retarded scientist to tell me otherwise
>>220123276He was a tablet baby and now has aphantasia
>>220123207Get an African swallow to drop coconuts on the rock
>>220123290i look like that
Has a living being ever exploded out of someone's testicles? I don't mean sperm shooting out the dick I mean something like a parasite bursting out the balls
>>220123316That happened to my friend Dave
Hurt my eyes when I turned on the bathroom light to piss
>>220123316Dno but found this
>>220123290>>220123276I'm not saying they're not smart, but without arms or hands how are they gonna do anything? They could be the smartest species in the galaxy, but with fins or wings they're slaves to the planet they were made on
my life is really good actually and things are going well
>>220123341Bitch ass nigga I just gave an explanation for that
>>220123336I do almost everything in the dark. It freaks my wife out a lot, I'll be putting my shoes on or packing my lunch box in the morning and she'll come down, turn the light on and freak out
>>220123377you dont have a wife. stop lying
>>220123354Your explanation was fucking retarded.
>my wife
>>220123388I do. She is rather plain though
>>220123424Your wife, my gf
Watching Heat for the 200th time
Winchester rifle primers are dogshit
>>220122926
>>220123428you dont
>>220123008Should he give up 12hr goon sessions for Lent
thread just died. nice.
thoughts on the Mossberg 500?
The exact moment when the 90s died is when Opie stomped on that homeless man's cake.
I have zero human interaction whatsoever outside of work. My life has fallen off a fucking cliff
>>220123520it's one of the most popular shotguns ever. wtf is there to say about it? stupid ass question
stupidass life
Just came back with beer
thoughts on the honda civic?
>>220123569too small
>>220123569uberjeet tier
>>220123520shotguns are cringe and especially pump action ones
>>220123575That’s what she said
leftards be like "trannies are real women but I would never, ever date one"
>>220123464It would be a weird thing to lie about
>>220123619I would though if she's cute
women be like"220123619 never shuts up about trannies and I would never date him"
>>220123569Type r is sick. Looks kind of silly, though
Chuds be like I hate trannies but I love stroking my cock to them
>>220123520Cheap and reliable. It will not wow you in any way, shape, or form, but if you're paying 300 for a shotgun you really shouldn't expect resplendence. Get a benelli nova or super nova if you don't mind spending a little more
>>220123642I like how the performance version of the Hyundai Elantra is called the N Line because it reminds me of the N Word
trannies be like "i'm not allowed in the girl's bathroom i'm literally being genocided"
>>220123632that's because you're mentally ill
Thinking about getting baptized because my parents never had me. They were both raised catholic but never had me baptized. They say it's because the priest didn't like they got married in court or some shit
>>220123591Wdym
>>220123650kek we do be like that
220123669 be like"I cant sthut up about trannies, even when nobody's mentioned them in the last 10 minutes"
Can't stop thinking about trannies
https://files.catbox.moe/gl5gct.mp4
goodnight
>>220123680they're shitty self defense weapons compared to rifles, yeah even in close quartersand if you're just considering it as a range toy then please get something a little more interesting than mass produced modern garbage
Attractiveness is a social construct. I believe in the core of my being that I'm actually a gigachad.
>>220123704That's a dude
wtf they made me into an anime character
>>220123710O ya, I get that
i'm trans and jewish. and that's ok.
The French language was invented in England>Oldest history in the French language was the Estoire des Engleis>Oldest manuscript of the Song of Roland comes from Oxford>Two-thirds of Francophone manuscripts from before 1200 AD come from EnglandNo wonder it drives the French crazy. We invented a language for them, let it become the most spoken on Earth, then hit back with an even better one - English - to deny them any relevance whatsoever. LOL
>>220123721dudes look like that in mexico?
I think even if you are an atheist Jesus is the best choses of Muhammed and Mosses
i have pure chud blood flowing through my veins
>>220123704Why post that in here? And will you become a /cum/ regular?
David Letterman needs to come out of retirement and save Late Night.
phwoarsuccessful execution of the poobergwhat a world we live in
>>220123772good old days are goneaccept it, saar
>>220123747Not into trans but you could find >>220123772Fallon is kinda good no?
>>220123763>Why post that in here?i clicked on the thread and everybody was talking about trannies. i felt an obligation to. >>220123763>And will you become a /cum/ regular?no
>>220123772David Letterman needs to come out of the closet and spend his last days in a bathhouse like Foucault
Women are fucking impossible to please I fuckrd up not settling with my hs gf
>>220123784Hey buddy just because I'm posting from a leaf flag doesn't mean I'm Indian ok
>>220123756Mohammed obviously made shit up on the fly
>>220123791Can I grope you and feel your body?
>>220123756Moses would recognize Jesus as the Christ.
>>220123796Eh, it probably would have ended the same way. Most people aren't the same as they were in high school by the age of 25
Crazy that MoHAMmed banned ham…
It's awfully convenient Allah said the prophet doesn't have to follow the rules of his teachings
>>220123812you could
>>220123772Traditional late night programming is over, the closest your going to get these days is something like the Adam Friedland Show
>>220123841I would love to gag on your dick
god just once in my life I'd like to have a gfnot even for the sex but just to know what its like to have someone want to be around me
>>220123756If you are athiest then you don't need to choose
>>220123841cute turkbutt I guess. I suppose we could do stuff
>>220123858It’s only fun for like a month or two and then it just becomes suffocating
>>220123742Not weird knowing old french was spoken in england, also france still had other languages before the nationalists killed them
Britain is literally just Airstrip One at this point.
Trump should stop fearing the reaper, shave his head, grow out his sideburns and Tywin-max it.
>>220123756buddha is
Look at you and your struggle for freedomBut you ain't nothingWe all pay the man for livingWouldn't it be nice for a change nowTo be unchained?My life is for me now
i am horny.
Sometimes I think I come off to people as conspicuously intelligent and it's so embarrassing. Why couldn't God have made me an industrious nitwit with a decent job and a family instead of a disgustingly self-educated NEET?
>>220123876
>Boomers were the parents of younger millennials>Gen X are the parents of older millennialsMake it make sense. Why did the boomers all have kids so late?
>>220123858It's probably pretty good just to have someone to hang out with and they unironcally want to be with you. And you can just have sex anytime you want Seems unreal that all this is normal for normalfags
Spent all night building my lego set award
>>220123854>>220123874You are literally replying to an ugly man faced troon with rotten teeth
uhhh how do i get out of iran....?
>>220123841How tall are you queenie
Kind of disappointed with the scale of the set I wonder how big the $300 ship is
>>220124085Iran?https://youtu.be/iIpfWORQWhU?si=qyp_ZffrTLWHaUFG
My brother is probably gonna marry a black girl. Once upon a time he was the most racist person I ever met. I already know I'm gonna be his best man, but I don't know what I am supposed to say. She is very nice, and I love that she makes my brother happy but I don't know what to say
>>220124098no refunds
>>220124098
>>220124065that's not really true. i mean my face is out there. >>2201240955'8
>>220124117I don't want a refund anyway I enjoyed building it other than the stupid stickers that I fucked up
>>220124132It is true you look like gru in a wig and have vomit inducing teeth
>>220124153i don't think you've seen me before
>>220124167we've all seen you budYOU DONT PASS LOL
>>220124168Me and who?
>>220124132Got a contact?
>>220124177if you say so>>220124182not looking to add anybody rn sorry
I posted my face once and the Turk said I was hot and told me to post a pic of my cock. I did not
>>220124213That's rude. Why did you not?
I fully endorse Marco Rubio
>little Marco spineless zionist ahhh nigga
What caused the femboy plague that ravages the zoomers
>>220124247Nigga gotta eat man
>>220124168>(((Stern)))
>>220124230why would I?
>>220124310It would've made me happy.
>hating on zionistsno one likes a sore loser
>>220124325so? I want stuff that makes ME happy
Just put on fresh socks.
>>220124354selfish prick
It was nice when spinny was here and it wasn't all talk about trannies and gock
>>220124354Making me happy should make you happy. Literal sociopath.
I want to get McDonald's tomorrow
>>220124383>Literal sociopath.in todays world, thats an attribute
>>220124396Do you mean "virtue"?
I already know my brother is gonna make me his best man. idk what I'm gonna say. His girl made him a better man than I ever knew. I'm such an autistic retard i don't know what I'm supposed to say
>>220122926I think it's a fun film, but definitely overrated
>>220124429talk about how his wife change his life and how your brother was different before they met end it with a child memory and give a toast to people that were/are important in their life
>>220124383maybe irl where being nice means possibly getting turkish pastry or something in return but online there's no happiness to be gained from sending a dick pic. there are thousands of them you can see and incels post their dicks on this board 24/7. dicks are not that interesting. people are more than their dick unless they post it constantly they are probably very bland, soulless husks faking as human
It's one in the morning but I'm thinking of coffee.
>>220124461Have some poutine with it o algo
>>220124491I just had mozzarella sticks and cornflakes, I'm pretty stuffed.
I just came here to say:Nobody cares about that stupid dumb redneck Chuck Norris. Their movies were total shit his acting was shit and he was already a dead meme before dying for good.So nobody is going to miss that stupid right wing mother fucker.I hope he roots in fucking hell.He was NOTHING.I accomplished more than him.Fuck your stupid heroes. They SUCK MY DICK!!
>>220124510Fuck you bitch.
>>220124505Weird combination, but alright You should go to bed mate, it's the weekend alright but you're going to mess up your sleep cycle
Being unable to acknowledge the accomplishments of other men is why the latinx will never create a functional society
>>220124510This dumb zoomer really watched his movies lol
>>220124541Yeah no more coffee for me I guess. Lately I've been getting to sleep around 5-6am and that's with coffee at like 6-7pm at the latest. I've been waking up super late too, like 3-5pm. I need to fix my shit. Time to take my pills I guess.
Me? I'm working the night shift
>>220124566Quetiapine 1 hour before bed :3
>>220124566Why do you people lament your sleep schedules as if you aren't directly responsible for it
AMERICANS HAS NEVER EVER EVER LET THEIR COUNRY DOWN
>>220124572your mom? working my shaft
>>220124559Yea I did I watched many films of his.And he was just terrible, so bland and no personality. A horrible fucking actor.There are so many B movie stars who were light years better than him.He was just an exploited meme and nothig else.Fuck him
>>220124559>>220124642The people of Mexico created the piñata to distract Chuck Norris from roundhouse kicking Mexicans.
Drinking a disgusting tasting cooler.
gonna pee then go to sleep
>>220124709yuck. i don't even like whiteclaws. all those sugary "it's this but with this" drinks curl my nostrils these days.
Sum niggas still rocking this sheesh
>>220124826why not just go for the full top knot at that point?
I had an interesting vacation away from here
Can't sleep award, have to diarrhea shit again at 6am, such is life
the therapist and the stripper care about you the same amount
>>220125126do tell!>>220125159a lot of my gastric maladies went into remission after a month of plain dieting and a probiotic. keeping away from caffeine, also. i'm convinced all my bad trips to the bathroom were due to my own poor judgment.
>>220125167The rapist, however…
>>220125287a stripper rapist...
why do american cops do these dumb sobriety tests instead of just doing breathalyser tests immediately
>>220125332They need to establish reasonable suspision
>>220125314We love our stripper rapists don’t we folks
>>220125425this, and also these all have to be consented to. otherwise you either go to the hospital if you are incoherently impaired, or to the drunk tank if you're just obviously (by the smell) sauced. you meet some nice people there, if they don't puke on you.
>>220125216>do tell!I managed to get the number of a gorgeous MILF last Saturday night. She's a tall California blonde (very rare natural American blonde) of Lusatian descent, and wants to go out with me in the coming weeks after she's done moving. I intend on spending a couple weeks with her given I'll be in her area for a couple of weeks watching my Grandpa's place while he visits his family in Texas and Alabama.I also got the number of a cute Jeeta in my anthro class (sadly she isn't responding to my texts) and decided to start a substack. Things are getting very interesting for me all of a sudden.
>>220125531Sounds like Lusitania
>>220124566You need to go to bed between 10 and 11 PM, at first you'll just thrash and writhe around, but soon enough you'll manage to go to sleep quickly
>>220125654>LusitaniaMight as well be given I'm going to sink my torpedo in her
>>220125531hey, that's when life is at its best and worst, when things are interesting. i hope you get a chance with the gals, and i hope nothing gets "interesting" for you in a negative way. cali babes are great, by the way. wax a little soft-politic, smooth as butter.
>man I have a fucked up sleep schedule, I guess it's more coffee and bed once I reach a point of complete exhaustion at 6am again>uhh why not just go to sleep when you're supposed to? Like just lay in bed until you fall asleep>HAHA ya I just don't know what to do about this. Can't be helped I guess!
can't sleep
>>220125758caffeine is the modern addiction. i knew a lady who would come in to my old work with a starbucks venti, sip off those tall re-sealable monsters throughout the day, and this was a sub-8 hour shift! just regular, minimum wage, whatever-the-hell work. and she was always telling me, "i'm tired." i'm sorry, but if you are tired on that level of stimulation, you either need a need a new mattress or to have a talk with your family to stop giving you dunkin donuts gift cards every year for christmas.
>>220125954I mean I have quite a bit of coffee too, but I sleep when I'm supposed to and I don't drag ass throughout the day either. It's more than just the caffeine for these people, I'm sure
>>220125954>caffeine is the modern addictionWeed, HRT, and SSRIs too.>>220125711>i hope you get a chance with the gals, and i hope nothing gets "interesting" for you in a negative way. I hope so too, thanks anon.>cali babes are great, by the way. wax a little soft-politic, smooth as butter.She's a humble upper-class woman in early middle age who clearly had a wild time in her younger years but has been too preoccupied by work for at least a decade and starved of sex and romance as a result. She was surprised and flustered when I called back and seems very interested in me given she texted only a couple of days after I called with sexual intent. I feel like it'll be a great couple of weeks given I have a much easier time talking to and interacting with people older than me. It's just that this is the first time it's working out sexually.
Social media, porn, fentanyl
>>220126123no thank you
Listening to the new BTS albumHave they always tried to be niggersFirst time actively listening to their muzak
"Just let people enjoy things," I say to myself again as I observe people hooked up to fentanyl drips, auto-masturbators, nic vape masks and Harry Potter films.
>>220126216Thoughts on goonbait
I WANT MY HAPTIC HYPER-REALITY, GODDAMMIT
>>220126291Gosh, fine*unzips pants*Here, jerk it a little.
>>220126249Alysa is an angel. She is miles above such grotesque matters as “porn” or “gooning”
I’m only addicted to booze and weed and porn and masturbating and 4chan and twitter and youtube and reddit and video games.
>>220126193>Listening to the new BTS albumThey're back? I thought they were in the military still. That's always when those bands die off in popularity.>Have they always tried to be niggersYou're going to have a hard time believing this but they were originally an edgy hip-hop group that made political songs which swore and dropped N-bombs from 2013-15. Their full name is literally "bulletproof boy scouts". Picrel is them in 2013.It'd be like if Wu-Tang Clan became a boy band in the vein of Boyz II Men or New Edition after 36 Chambers.
>picFucking lmao, I meant to post this
>>220126343Me with the exceptions of booze, Twitter, Reddit and videogames.
https://youtu.be/MpzaHapvSGk
When was the last time you gooned to a good book?
>>220126352>>220126370lol I thought your post was supposed to be a joke
addictions or vices? and beware, as they tend to drift back and forth as your life tumbles on.
An alpine war between India and China would be so kino.
>>220126419For me? I’ve never gooned to a book in my life
>>220126419Why do women jerk off to books?
>>220126370This is some weapons grade cringe
/mu/ is absolutely dead during non-American hours, holy shit.
>>220126419there was a part of a james bond novel (and no, not the carpet-beater one, you weirdos) that i remember spurred me to masturbate, but it was because of some vivid description of the woman's breasts or nipples or something. also, i was young, so this was all my imagination was functioning toward. but past that, no. nothing that wasn't illustrated.
>>220126370eyeliner korean niggas think ts hard *skull emoji* *wilted rose emoji*
>>220126532/mu/ has always been a particularly American board, it just got it's second wind of American Zoomers a year or so ago. It's still dead compared to it's heyday 10 years ago but it's way better than it was in the early 20s when it was one of the deadest boards on the site.>>220126529Korean rappers crack me up when they try to be "gangster" and "real". The only one that's ever pulled something like that off is an indie rapper from there called XXX, and that's because he took a very Danny Brown/Death Grips approach to by focusing on blending grievance politics with internet culture and absurdism, without the obnoxious woke elements that can make Brown hard to listen to at times. Sadly he's been AWOL since 2019, but man he made some kino. This is one of my favorite MVs and yet I've never encountered another human being that knows about it:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxPojCojjVs
>old /mu/ mentionedhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V00VrmmoWPw
What I am listening to at 4 in the morning: https://youtu.be/dW6RXTjm4iA
Why can zoomers not understand the difference between "it's" and "its"?
>>220126839Probably because autocorrect very frequently tries to get you to switch to the wrong one when you’ve used the correct one
>>220126954Using autocorrect is weaksauce.
>>220126839>not understand the difference between "it's" and "its"Anywhere from a third to two thirds of Zoomers are functionally illiterate. Reading books of any kind automatically puts you in the top 40% of my generation.It's grim man.
>>220126990ayo Miller Grove white acting ahh be reading books lmaoooo
I wish I was a tiny piper and I led all the bugs and critters and snails and birds of the forest in a tiny marching band.
Awake but at what costs?
watching king of the hill
>>220127250i'd like that for you, too. because it'd keep them far away from me. well, at least as far as its range is. what level flute? psh
>>220127461bwah
Making bacon eggs and grits
>>220127624Thanks, anon! I’ll keep my tiny procession safely away from you. But if you listen very closely out your window on a moonlit summer night, you might just faintly hear our song on the breeze.
>>220127250The snails would create problems by slowing traffic
>>2201229129/11 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH02Eh44yUg
>>220127822
Gotta do laundry
I'm so tired of being alone.
crazy that an inch of hairline gives you +3 points at leasti could afford a transplant but it's the maintenance i don't know about you have to take rogaine for the rest of your life
>>220127972A mature male hairline is natural and doesn't mean you're going bald.
>>220128027it is if it's receding every yeari'm already on fin and it's stopped but not growing back
Vermothrax pejorative is such an out of left field name for a kids movie dragon. Wouldnt be surprised if its the name of an actual yahwean demon that jews worship
I'm so alone.
>I GOT THE DIAMONDS, SCRAPIN', SIDIN'>WASTIN' MY LIFE IN ALTERED STATES, THEM, BACK IT UP>I GOT THE FEVER>I GOT THE FEVER
>>220128289Eat some nice hash browns, that'll make you feel better!
>>220128300I'm already a fatass. I don't need to comfort myself with food.
I love Tate McRae
>>220128426I love her body of work
God I might just fry up some potatoes after all since I feel like such shit.
>>220128426Never heard of her
>>220128558dont do it leaf brothats what (((they))) want you to do
Rallied to walk around while sick and I hit a massive wall and lost my voice. Still worth it.
Yeah man, we gotta fight Big Potato
Taking a shit and it smells hideous.
>2007 was 20 years agoI just can't anymore.
>>2201287152007 was 5 years closer to the release of doom than we are to 2007
>>220128632You better get some rest now, anon!
These God damn Mexicans got me so mad I forgot to add soap to my laundry. They bumrysh all the machines as soon as the door opens and take every single fucking machine . Luckily I was there first so I got one but seeing all these goblin people just ruined my fucking day
>>220128715
>>220129010Indeed small excitable kitten.
>>220128977Im gonna be in bed all day I think. Im sorta messed up lol.
Tired of this fart shit
>>220129315I’d be tired too if I walked all the way to Switzerland. Hang in there anon!
Emma Stone is ugly
>>220129387I ran across the Atlantic like one of those lizards across the top of the water
>>220129567Nice, those things are cool
>>220129567why don't you ride an airplane like humans do?
There’s nothing better than shoulder day. The pump makes me look massive lol. If I grow my muscles big enough, then eventually a woman will love me.
>>220129662Theyre pretty awesome lol>>220129667I changed my legal name to Osama Bin Laden and they put me on the no fly list
>>220129695Shoulder pumps are crazy im not even that muscular but since im skinny i get striated delts after a shoulder workout and it looks crazy. If you're really strong you must get enormous
Happy Saturday, /cum/friends!
Creepcel
>>220129829Ahh I’m pretty skinny too. But I look big by my standards lol
Off to the theatre
It’s motherfucking snowing right now. Why is winter so loooooooooong???
>>220129872Are you getting big or do you like being skinny?>>220129887What are you watching?>>220129905Fell for the false spring award
>>220130044I’ll never get that big. The goal has been to stay lean while building muscle.
>>220130271I see. Good luck
>>220130349The same to you
>>220130377Id been trying to gain weight but now that im sick its probly cooked anyways
>>220130471Gaining weight is difficult for me too. I have a small appetite.
>>220130507Same. I usually just eat one simple meal a day but I've tried to increase it. Are you healthy?
cummypies i am drinking covfefe
shit from a butt
piss from a cock
>>220130875Coffee is good. Do you cream it?
Morning gents. Let's bump this out
>>220131095done
>>220131128I'll make the new
>huge lifted pickup>a 5’2 beaner who needs a custom installed stair hops out
>>220131162
>>220131142Nevermind cockroach boy decided to
Who could forget dear cockroach boy
>>220130612Decently healthy I think. I don’t get sick very often fortunately .
>>220131093i always have black coffee
Play with my pussy, not my heart
