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File: 2008 almost over.jpg (282 KB, 948x1024)
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6 years of manmode, and I've had enough. My mental health is worse that's been in years, I've been crashing out almost every day for the last two weeks. I always knew honmode is a viable path for some because I've seen it work (as in, I personally knew some hons and twinkhons), but I always thought I'm better off as a manmoder.

Turns out, I'm just a fucking coward. The intensity of my dysphoria in fact 100% justifies a full social transition. I'm just afraid to take the risk, and desu I'm also just v. mentally dysfunctional and can barely keep a job and do the most basic tasks. But time is running out, I'm getting older, and I wanna give a full transition another shot.

Yeah, I'll be visibly trans, but at least I'll be able to connect with people on a genuine level without this retarded fucking man LARP. I just don't care anymore about what some stupid transphobic idiot might think about it, and I can handle any practical problem that's caused by not passing.

Other manmoders can have fun lying on their death beds, thinking about "it would never have worked, iwnbaw" without ever fully, properly trying. I won't be one of them.
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>>42179477
based, congrats op
>>
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>>42179532
That's where you're wrong kiddo, I literally used to girlmode part time plus I personally know two twinkhons (and know of many others twinkhons and hons) who both have interesting jobs, friends, and long term partners.
Yes obviously not passing entirely is a problem, but it still beats crying every day and getting drunk due to untreated (discounting hrt) dysphoria.
You are of course welcome to be a scared little faggot who sadposts on /tttt/ in 2026, 2027, or even fucking 2040 for all I care. But you don't have to be. (This is assuming you're a manmoder, if you're a shartyfag then i g do whatever you want).
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>>42179477
based dream-pursuer self-actualizationmoder
>>
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>>42179550
Ty :D. I mean honestly I am already getting stares during summers because of boobs, and it's typically late middle aged women and very, very low status men. I will have to switch jobs and also sort out some other things tho, and also I have a few other practical concerns, but I truly, genuinely cannot go on like this.
>>42179573
Thanks!
>>
>>42179608
>shartyfag
I wonder what's causing the TDS in those polyps

why'd this thread get pruned all of a sudden?

>>42165971

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Therapy: useless
>hello doc I was molested for 3 years as a kid, loneliness is crushing, my parent was abusive, my ex used to threaten to kill herself and hit me, my heart starts racing if someone closes a door too forcefully near me
>Hmm. *writes notes* How does that make you feel :)
>IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SHIT WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT
>Hmm okay see you next week :)
Venting to someone anonymously: useless
Talking to a friend: helps a little but people have a limit (as they should)
drugs/alcohol: temporary relief but you feel even worse when it's gone and have numbed your pleasure nodes so food and activities are less enjoyable for a while, also costs money that could be spent on clothes or games or food
working out: feels like you're in direct battle with everything that bothers you. Requires leaving the house, being around people, get sunlight and fresh air. Skill you slowly progress at. Increases metabolism and you're permanently less fat even if you eat like shit. Put your demons into the bar and then hoist it off the ground and smash it back into the floor. Relief like with drugs except your brain starts feeling better day to day instead of worse. Posture and body language changes to be more confident subconsciously.
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>>42176070
based
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>>42176070
This is literally me
If I stop working out for long enough I get suicidal but once I go back everything in life is possible
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>>42178224
Same. Like clockwork the suicidal ideation creeps back in if I stop for too long. 4 to 7 days a week keeps me sane.
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>>42176070
Based Quiet Riot poster. I wonder if it’s at all likely that the increase in frequency of mental health issues in the first world has anything to do with how little exercise is required for the modern lifestyle.
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>>42179413
It could be a factor. I try not to be all depression/anxiety isn't real bro just get exercise but it's true for at least some people. Idk what the answer to all of it is.

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Trans attracted men of /tttt/, what have your dating experiences been like with straight trans women?
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>>42178828
>won’t answer the questions
Exactly. This is what chasers do: abuse you, then be vague about what actually happened, even when pressed for details. Typical.
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>>42178902
stop brown nosing them, sis. most of these men are trash
>>
I wish I could've brought her to Christmas this year
Some times the tranner is the one using the choid
>>
Matched on bumble by accident because I didn't read the profile. She was an Asian hyperpassoid that diy'd since she was basically 14 years old.

Got curious, met up and basically hit it off. Dated for 2 months until her exchange semester ended and she had to go back to her country.

3 months later I downloaded grindr because I wanted to replicate the experience but realized I basically won the lottery and that this will never happen again, so I deleted the app. That was 4 years ago. No experience ever since.
>>
>asks question
>seethes uncontrollably at answers that don't satisfy her
awesome thread

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It's actually kinda funny how fast the guys calling me a man all day lose their minds when I call them a girl.
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>>42179246
It will be negative if they don't catch it during an attack. It's why it is difficult to diagnose and often most doctors won't even bother to test it as the basic treatments are generally simple with low risk of contraindications. But the symptoms fit.
>>
>>42179320
Wouldn't a mutation test show up as positive regardless of the presence of an attack? It's a genetic test.
>>
>>42176561
Hey bestie. Are you still holding strong? How is it going and come walk with me.
>>
>>42179338
No, that test is only to differentiate whether you have primary or secondary/idiopathic MCAS. The latter ones don't show on the gene test.
>>
>>42179677
Gotcha. This all sucks shit though and the meds I was given don't seem to be that effective.

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Trannies are very uninteresting people. We get it, you are a porn addict and you have autism. Oh wow you slit your wrists too, cool. We don't care.
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>>42179463
>still lifemogged by a tranny
cope
seethe
repeat
>>
>>42178548
Wait until you learn about trans men, the ftm drag queen femboys...
>>
>>42178548

>men pretending to be women

That's based

>don't look female

Giga based!

>don't act like women

Holy shit where can I find me some other trannies?

Only one question for you though... if trabs women aren't women than why did you type the words "trans women?" Why didn't you just say men?
>>
>>42179603
>still crying in my thread
Have a nice jump brother
>>
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>>42179643
>NPC response
picrel is literally you btw LMAO

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Typical tranny x chaser relationship be like.
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durianrider bros won, carnivores lost.
>>
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>>42179115
carnists always lose
>>
>>42174820
My experience (with cis guy chasers at least) goes as follows:

First chaser: sociopathic narracistic autistic porn addict who would pressure me into sex regularly and guilt me out of having needs.

Second chaser: sweet but overly obsessive in an unhealthy way. Also mildly narracistic and autistic. I honestly still feel bad about how I ended things but I'm glad it's over.

Cis women are a bit different in their chasing. I've had a few. They seem to want me for the sapphic-esc romantic stuff (and probably because I was easier to control and easier to acquire) but then want me to take a guy role in the relationship and during sex. Like lmao fuck no.

The reality of it is, t4t is the only time I've ever felt both comfortable and happy in a relationship. I hate being a stereotype but it's true.
>>
>>42174820
How is this video meant to make me feel because I feel nothing
>>
>>42179666
Are you a man or a tranny

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>came out at late 20s
>started hormones at 31,mid 30s now
>I'm tired of feeling like I look like an ogre.
>Im tired of watching other people transition and pass me up
>I'm tired of everyone getting surgeries done but me done
>Im just exhausted, its been going on 4 years and I really dont feel any further along outside of my paperwork

I feel like its only a matter of time until the people around me who transitioned in their 30s totally pass me up and leave me in the rear view mirror. They are all on their way to becoming women or are them now and im stuck looking like Fred in a dress from courage the cowardly dog

There are so many days when I think to myself I should have just ended it when I realized repping was a mistake and I'd permanently disfigured myself and probably destroyed any future I had.

Don't listen to the desistence bullshit it never gets better it just gets harder and when you finally bite the bullet you are so much worse for it. That kid that couldn't carry the weight and said fuck it and transitioned as a kid, they were right you carrying that burden like syssyphis was incredibly stupid
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>>42179559
Not something id kill myself over besides I'm too busy being better than every incel on this site even as an ogre
>>
>>42179515

I mean technically none of what you see there would be there if hair follicles didn't come back.
Before that i was half in most of those areas uptop for over a decade
>>
>>42179043
Please tell me all about your life I wanna know what’s it’s like please, I fear I’m gonna be doing the same I wanna know what’s in store for me
>>
>>42179553
whole genome sequencing. I swung by r/drwillpowers recently and that's what they're using to see which of the couple of dozen enzyme and receptor mutations you might be "lucky" to have, and with knowing the usual sex hormone (and adjacent) pathways, I see it helped figure out why some don't respond to certain regimens but do with others
>>
>>42179670
Ah okay. I've considered that before, but mostly for health reasons (I've feminized pretty well, almost too well considering my ego has not seemingly caught up to that).

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I’m autistic and I only hang out in places frequented by autistic people.
In the mix there are obviously trans girls.
(I used to have—and still have—the idea of transitioning, but I’d just look like a disgusting crossdresser anyway.)
I dated a trans girl for four years.
After that, I slept with a guy and a trans girl I met on Grindr.
And now I’m with another trans girl.
I’ve never slept with a cis gir
6 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>42179080
I accept that, but as I said, I should have started when I was 18, not now at almost 30.
>>
>>42179464
I've heard from reppers that they wished they'd started earlier, even if at 30. Depends on the pros and cons for you, but many report the cons turned out to be much greater.
>>
>>42178911
lienvke
>>
>>42179527
It won't make my life better, I think, anyway
This may solve some problems, but it will create others
>>
>>42179596
that's why I'd recommend manmoding for starters, hopefully that will avoid most of the problems, and still allow for a few months to see if you also get the much better mental health that others report

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qott: what are you going to do different in 2026
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>>42179431
>i learned that if im not the first one he’s met to be on high alert,
Do you live in saudi arabia or something, how is it rare to have met trans women
>>
If you met them online, on a dating app, or at an lgbt related thing they are a chaser every time. If you just have sex with a long time male you've known a while irl from before you were trans there is a small chance they are a normal man.
>>
>>42179495
You don't have to care that he's a chaser if he's respectful and you're not after anything serious
>>
>>42179521
well, pretty rare desu, i live in scotland and for most people i come across im the first one they’ve been aware of meeting (i pass so when i identify myself they tell me that)
>>
>>42179460
>If attractive trans tops weren't rare, there wouldn't be so many chasers constantly begging. Nice try though loser.

YOU ARE a chaser. You are male and chase tranny asshole to fuck.

I thought political lesbianism was a discredited meme
Why do bisexual and lesbian women want heterosexual women to read lesbian fiction so much?
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>>42174498
OK?
>>
>>42171504
Men are predators and BAD.

Lesbians would never use their strong gynephilic attraction to make unsolicited advances towards their objects of desire (see: probably some factory standard model bisexual girl who wanted a stunning male specimen to approach her, and not a lesbian)
>>
>>42174491
Some lesbians seem to have issues.
>>
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>>42171137
>yaoicucks are reading fagslop?
>women have fallen
>billions must protest
>>
>>42171137
Because the only true and possible love, besides being sweet, is between two women. The rest is slop. It's not political, it's simply perfect.

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Are hot dogs dogs?
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>>42178925
Are women
>>
>>42178925
trans men are women
>>
>>42178931
im confused trans women are women or not?
>>42178941
trans women*
>>
>>42178954
trans women are men
>>
>>42179647
trans men*

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mtfs with passing voices, what resources did you use to voice train?
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>>42179379
Go for it! I won't be mean I promise and I'll do my best to give you good advice. I'm also pretty tistic tho so def take some of it with a grain of salt.
And yeahhh autism may get you clocked sometimes. Alot of masking goes into trying to stealth pass and it sucksss. Hell I even know cis girls that get accused of being trans just because of their autism, and to my tttt using ass they don't even look like "clocky".
>>
>>42179105
>>42179124

"passing" in voice with a fagcent doesn't mean much normies ca 't voice clock for shit. If you want an actually nice sounding woman voice you should do professional coaching.

The training methods are pretty simple in themselves but having someone to hold you accountable helps.
>>
>>42179340
Hell confidence is apart of it too. Because I act like I belong people don't question it unless they're like, in the know. If we're classmates or acquaintances and I'm not bothering to mask that hard, they just assume I'm really autistic.
>>
>>42179340

It's so hard to resist not taking stairs 2 at a time and jumping around though lol
>>
>>42179414
well i pass over the phone and stealth (or else am the victim of the most elaborately coordinated hugboxing scheme ever contrived idk) in real, but i've never had somebody tell me in real life that my voice sounds androgynous (which makes sense bc why would they)
are inflections not what we are talking about when people say "mannerisms"?
if recordings are unreliable for this sort of thing i guess i kind of have no idea what the point of my posting something would be, anyhow. i just wish it were easier to know how my voice reads in terms of, like, vocal socialization or however you would call it. i'm trying to come across as fully androgynous to everyone and idk what i should do or not do to accomplish that
>>42179486
thank you thank you :)
https://voca.ro/14kQmjyh69lA
here. you can skip like forty seconds if you don't want to hear me ramble about basically nothing (but if you do skip it know that i am sick and i can post a different recording if that would be better)

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foamer edition
q what are your favorite transit vehicles
q2 if you could drive any transit vehicle what would you drive
>>42144666
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>>42179098
>That's funny about your coworkers comments though
I wouldn't be surprised to learn there's at least another repper there and at least another hrtrepper. As I said, plenty of weirdos in that building.

>I'm happy to hear that since I'd likely be manmoding
Do keep in mind that it is workplace dependent. If I had been working in a workshop, I doubt I would've sailed through smoothly.

>I don't want to lose all my melancholy
The first few months are very likely to be rough. The way I understand this is that it's age dependent but also neurology dependent. And your initial T and E levels too. I was low T to begin with so that probably helped a lot.
Still, a lot of things about yourself will have to be reconstructed. Even things that you want to keep.
I sailed through some of them easily but not all. I had to reconstruct my love for metal music, for instance. And the reconstruction is not quite the same as pre-transition. But good enough so I can stay in that community.
The feelings (melancholy included) change quite brutally. They become more intense in both directions. It's a process to adjust to that.
It was totally worth it for me now looking back. But I will also acknowledge it went shockingly smooth compared to what I expected. Or maybe it helped that I had very low expectations, idk.
>>
i'm so sick of everything, idk if i can do an entire year of this all over again.
>>
you guys ever feel like you want to type something here because it all feels awful but have nothing to say because you're fake and you're just a normal depressed guy
it's weird because i strongly remember feeling like i'm trans when things got bad again a year and change ago but don't really have anything like that now. why did i ever think i was trans?
now it's just a sense of emptiness, anxiety and nausea. wtf does that have to do with gender
>>
beating reppers until they transition
>>
>>42179610
kind of relatable i dont know what i am other than a suffering animal

make picrew cow. guess letters

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/2287052
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>>42176172
>transbian
>>42176209
>Transbian
>>42176279
>transbian
>>42176476
>afab cottagecore enby
>>42176660
>hsts, no ice cream, almond milk
>>42176667
>MtF

yes.
>>
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Hello my subjects
>>
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>>42176716
straight trans guy
>>42176667
>>42176660
transbian
>>42176476
bi mtf
>>42176279
gay trans guy
>>
>>42176784
boo lazyposter
>>
>>42176843
my gay twink little brother
>>42176716
weird girl who ate bugs to ukulele playing ftm pipeline
>>42176667
straight mtf who will completely switch personality to match her current boyfriend
>>42176660
hrt femboy with a sugar daddy
>>42176476
sporty gay


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