I'm currently severely mentally ill, I felt a little better when I was DIYing injections but I was still severely mentally ill. I'm in the process of getting prescribed HRT but I was denied it until I have relative stability in my psychological state, only then they're gonna look into it because alledegly I could have severe shifts in my mental state from a hormone imbalance.
What is the severe mental illness?
>>42339478The psychs don't know what I have because I have overlapping symptoms but I'm on 10mg of antipsychotics
This isn't what was supposed to happen. I knew it would, but I hoped it wouldn't.I never wanted to feel reverse dysphoria. I wanted to be able to enjoy the effects of estrogen.But now, I constantly feel as if my skin is melting off and I'm constantly in a state of panic because of the effects.I really don't want to be a man, but it's what I always was and always will be. My regular dysphoria was fake from the very beginning.I cannot ever be a woman, simply because my very own brain refuses it against my will.I really hate, really despise being a cis man, but I will need to accept it.
>>42339220The higher dose is almost certainly making me feel worse, but as mentioned previously, I really can't help but feel that all my normal "dysphoria" is fake as well. It feels like I deeply despise being a man, because I just loathe myself
>>42339270i mean does it matter if its fake? i also feel "inherently male" sometimes but at the end of the day i really do hate the effects of testosterone and enjoy the benefits of estrogen so why does it matter if im actually trans or just faking it?also i mean i think its natural to dread living as a woman. its obviously something you havent done before and the social expectations and stuff are pretty scary especially when you havent been tought them.imo you really shouldnt worry about it too much. i think what you described is pretty normal and common among trannies. it sounds to me like a combination of dysphoria, impostor syndrome and the higher dose making you spiral.
>>42338649same, i hate the boobs, i hate being a man, i dont want to be an ugly unpassable tranny, i cant be a man. its just suffering, is it better to suffer towards an impossible goal than to suffer by giving up? who am i? am i what i am physically forced to be against my will? am i whatever my petty desires tell me i want to be? am i just nothing? i feel like im just nothing
>>42338649i think estrogen actually has an inflammatory effect on the body which is why it rises and falls in cis women and is counterbalanced by other hormones.high levels of E are not good and will make you feel crappy. it also blows out your estrogen receptors and makes them less sensitive, slow and steady is the way
>>42339427Estrogen is a histamine liberator and testosterone is an anti-inflammatory so it makes sense. I actually have an MRI today to check to see if high E levels are causing some kind of inflammation there. Too high and I get headaches. Too low and I get depressed. It's hell.
who is she
>>42339437the person reading this
does it make me a bad person if i respect transgender women but internally sigh and lose respect for them when they bring up how "sapphic" they are
>>42335989you're a retard. kill yourself
That's not ridiculous at all to say that.
>>42336460>do regular lesbians even say "sapphic"yea but usually when they're being gay about something or commenting about something's gayness.sapphic poetry, sapphic energy/vibes, sapphic art, etc.describing oneself as sapphic is kinda eh unless you're a tumblrina lesbian, the "regular" lesbians just say yeah i like birds or yeah im a dyke or i'm a lover of women or just "GUHH" usually.
>>42336015fake word
no
I dont like being mean to people... it takes its toll on me..... people who force me to be mean to them are thusly abusive abusers. They are abusing me by forcing me to be mean. Just leave me alone. Respect my boundaries. Stop being an abuser.Leave me alone. Stop visiting my threads in any way. Dont post on them. Please.
>>42337670Yes. As a stoic stacy queen. Im allowed to have a lil fun on the side ^_^
>>42337494what is your ideal person like?
>>42338951are you even attractive? you probably should have taken the crazy girl if she is actually pretty
>>42338975She is if she were more coherent tbqh. And if she wasn't a cheater harlot. And if she wasnt utterly broken. I want the manic pixie gf without the feeling like im drowning in the chaos of bpdemonI kinda wanted to ask her to do the reze dance for me ... it would capture the current zeitgeist of the situation and i think she'd be cute AF doing it
>>42339137Im mid as fuck. Id say she is perhaps two leagues above me. If leagues even exist, silly concept really.But i disagree with you. Ur desperate. Not me.>>42339413Also like to add, if she weren't parasitic. I get why bpdemons are seen as succubi now. They literally try to chain your heart like in that gif the person postedI thank god for my stoic defenses thamk you god
Estrogen isn't only useful for trans women. I'm a cis man without gender dysphoria and I've been taking weekly injections of estradiol cypionate for four years now, in order to curb my libido and for other benefits.When I was a freshman in college, I would masturbate so often that it genuinely and seriously affected my academic performance. I started taking it my sophomore year and the problem went away entirely. Now, instead of failing a class every semester, I'm a Master's student in a very well regarded molecular biology program. I'm a second author on a published paper from a good laboratory as of last week. I get compliments on my skin and, after laser, no longer have to shave. Because doctors in the U.S. prescribe ED medication like candy, I can still have sex whenever I like. I think that estrogen should be considered more often for its non-HRT therapeutic qualities.
I think men, real men, can do this because the self-assured male mind is not diminished by the adornment of glowing skin and perky breasts.. It's kind of a cliche but it's true.
>>42330941Being trans is to transition. Doing hrt and enjoying the effects is being trans it doesnt matter how u identify. Identity was just some bs enbies did to feel included.
>>42339167I think it's more than just a chosen identity. There is a real difference in how males and females think and act. This is controversial to say but perhaps it shouldn't be.
>>42339206Are you saying that from personal experience? Actions are learned and identity is built. Only by having experiences as a women do you build a identity as one. Its been cool watching how one slowly fades and the other takes its place. I dont think it would happen without choice and reflection but it is like being way more attuned to everything. Men walk around with blinding agency but little attunement. It makes them seem tone deaf now but i was exactly the same before hrt. Now i feel like i can read people so well and think about so many things and feel so many things at once. It has drastically changed how i act or want to act. And i started on hrt vaguely to stop my labido and hair loss. I didnt think i was a woman i just hoped i could be.
>>42339260>Are you saying that from personal experience?corroborated by many men and women who say similar things, there's endless discource on the differences in behavior between men and women. On this board people consider behavioral differences alongside social transition.>Having experiences as a woman is how you build an identity as a womanThis is somewhat circular but yeah. I do actually believe that in the vast majority of people this (wo)manliness is developed unconsciously and by the time people are developed enough to reflect on how they measure up to the standard of a man (or woman), they have already been thoroughly gendered in their psyche through which they recognize the standard which applies to them. So there are disctinctly male and female insecurities that are obvious in adolescence. Gender identity theory makes the unconscious explicit and it also simplifies it down to something like a choice, a preference, a favorite color on a spectrum. For trans people it is different since they undertake conscious work on what for most people is unconscious, in order to pass better, or to truly be the thing that they must be, because of some deep gendered mismatch between psyche and anatomy, which if left untreated means confused maturation. That's where the difficulty in translating trans experience to cis people lies to a large extent.
My bf is taking me out to try on bikini's how the fuck do I not panic at the store and when wearing it later
Hot
where is it edition>qott: why did no-one else make a thread for so long am i the only one who is desperate
>>42332233especially the>alter ego of like half of the other girls in this chartand the goofy eyes get me every timeit's good to relax and let somebody else make all the decisions and do all the thinking from time to time
>>42332233THE ARTIST (repper sub-type waiting for my evolution stone)
mustbreed
I switched to Linux recently and now my libido is maybe coming back a little I'm really missing my modded skyrim with defeat mods (ie, instead of dying, "sex" happens)
>>42324949I need a power bottom twink or girltwink to ride me this instant or the northen hemisphere explodes
How did e affect your depression? Did it make it worse or better? Personality it made me stop saying I should kms over and over but when I'm really sad I start saying it again
as a cis man it makes it worse since it lowers my already low energy
>>42337513It changed it, kind of. Hard to describe since my depression is largely cyclical and I started E coming off of the one period in my life that I can remember not being depressed.
>>42339071>the one period in my life that I can remember not being depressedI feel this
>>42337513i think it made me more in touch with my emotions which is like worse for depression imoi just feel more like shit now and do less productive stuff
>>42337513for a few months when I started i felt a lot less depressed, I think it was mostly just a psychological thing because two years later im more depressed than I was before starting
they didn't do anything at the previous airport but at IAH they pulled all that shit out in it's full glory when passing though TSA security. like- 29 orange capped syringes strewn everywhere, red box of sanitary wipes. what a thrill. in the end they confiscated only one type of sunscreen i packed for some reason?
>>42337493Read the instructions, they don't let you take liquids in the carry on
Protip: put the hrt vials with your makeup cause it just looks like foundation under the scanner then put your syringes in a seperate placeT. Taken like 10 international flights with my hrt this year.
>>42337493i fly international from the USA to EU all the time and never had my bag searched because of hrt but they did search my bag on terf island once because my 8inch didlo set off the sensor which was rly embarrassing and made me want to die
>>42337493>like- 29 orange capped syringes strewn everywherethats suspicious as fuck anon of course they searched you WHY ARE YOU CARRYING SO MANY THROUGH TSA
>>42339285seriously, take what you need and a couple extra
any other furry bifags here?
i was kicked out of my local furry community for triying to oust pedophiles at the ageo f18
>>42337721sometimes i forget anything furry related happens in meatspace
>>42337721Do you mean actual groomers or just ageplayers who like cubshit, because most people who jerk off to anthro animals probably don't care about antishipper drama if it's the latter
>>42336655I don't consider myself a furry butif I did my fursona would be a fox
>>42336655Eugh.
how are things going fellow pizza eating fags?going to post this once a week
>>42329792 i second whoever said /lgbt/ should have flags
>>42334645already planning to, i would be a fool to waste this opportunity.>>42335044very true. i have family in western europe that have a hard time understanding why the U.S. government hates trannies so much.
>>42329792my grandpa is Italian and I visit sometimes, it's a very beautiful country
not italian but went there in vacation once, really pretty country from what I saw :)also could I ask a question for my southern europe sisters?
>>42338771sure thing, ask
I feel like there’s lots of veritable ground to be covered and legitimate insight to be gleaned from the union of accelerationism and transness, but it doesn’t seem like something many people in either camp take seriously. Nick Land may be a chud but I do think he was right about a lot of things, Capital and Artificial Intelligence being one and the same force for one thing. But where I tend to disagree with him is in thinking that it’s a doomed system that we’re trapped in. I feel like as trannies we really represent the human soul distilled to its most primal principles. I could see the transgender person as a species wide ambassador for Human-ness in the face of a war against the Inhuman which has slowly ingrained itself into our psyches and is draining the Earth and the World Soul of resources faster than we could possibly imagine. Idk. Just interested to know if g/acc is just a meme like l/acc or if there’s any trannies out here thinking critically about our place in the Immanentization of the eschaton
>>42339217they’re all in 2019, sorry dude
>>42339127nice to see this thread here. here are some writings i made which speak on this subject:>https://hidwehproject.nekoweb.org/pages/blog/posts/2025-11-04-On-The-Transgender-Question.html (i make some commentary on g/acc)>https://desuarchive.org/his/thread/17457468/personally i do not like accelerationism because it is too fatalistic so i have a rather different understanding of economics and praxis. what is more important to me is capital as power, this power becoming an actualized entity through its circulation. rather than a unitary entity, the ecology is important as well. ecosystems already show self-adaptive behaviour and degrees of auto-sophistication, but it is possible, through a sufficient imbalance of power, to start designing new ecosystems altogether.. we see this of course in the conscious terraforming of the external world afforded by man's enhanced intelligence. man's species-being sundered the ecological. perhaps it is then possible to also sunder the capital as well with a transmuted species-being? one not just turned outwards but also inwards, transforming our flesh and hence the ontological horizon that mediates our relation to the worldi like the idea of capital being not simply an artificial intelligence but a sort of egregore as well. it is something which possesses us and conditions our consciousness of what is and is not possible. if that is the case, a parallel question would be that of semi-permeability. we can mold our spirits and the spiritual substance constituting others anew through various embodied practices, thereby effecting what egregores or godforms come to possess usimo trans people are a group of ppl that are more open to this inward transmutation, insofar as transition realizes the violence of transforming the flesh .. anyways thts y u should join my cult ok join my cult
>>42339127>But where I tend to disagree with him is in thinking that it’s a doomed system that we’re trapped in.Was there ever a time when people who think like this werent doomed? Nothing ever works how you want it automatically except for apple macs. People figure out how to do things to their liking. If not you or me then somebody else will.
>>42339244oh yeah to add on, a thinker i really like who sort of has ideas that looks like acceleration but diverges on the point of fate is jason reza jorjani. you should check him out. he is sort of schizo but you need to see behind the mythologization towards the truths of power, ethos, and orientation towards the future which is realized in his work
>>42339244I’m really digging what you’ve got to say, started reading your article and will finish after work. It really feels nice to know I’m not the only one knocking these ideas around in my head. Would genuinely love to talk to you more on a private platform nona
what % of trans women do you know personally who have voice trained? i know a lot of trannies in my city and i'd say maybe 15% put effort into their voice outside of the average 'not trained faggy tranny' voice. i can count on one hand how many i know who have passing voices. i know voice training is hard for most people but considering it'll get you clocked no matter what you look like i don't understand why more women don't even bother? do they just give up after a month because it's 'too hard' and accept never passing to anyone? i don't get it at all.
just get VFSyou still have to voice train before and after but if the results are good you get to basically never worry about that stuff ever againi got it 2.5y ago went fulltime and never looked back
>>42336775I do but its been a long time and i still sound like a whiney fag. Making a little progress though
>>42339125i got unlucky w/ my dad, but got lucky w/ my mom. my dad was very much the stereotypical "gay guys make me fucking sick but lesbians are ok i guess" kinda guy. he regularly did a fagvoice to make homophobic jokes all thruout my childhood. i now know he did this bc hes a repressed bisexual, still to this day. hes a little more work & mellow now & will admit he would "spoon" w/ several of his fav male movie stars, doesnt admit beyond that tho. growing up he strongly disencouraged me having any feminine behavior or interests... which, unlucky for him lmao. its very obvious he wanted a son. it always was my entire life. he wanted me to be a strong masculine hard working "honest" blue collar son. instead he got an autistic goth sex worker daughter. at least my mom prevented him from making it as bad for me when i was little as he couldve. she came from the hair metal 80s era & was a lot more open & understanding of me being different. this one girl i was friends w/ who lived next door to me most of my childhood used to invite me over so i could sneak playing w/ barbies & bratz w/ her tho. greatful i knew her. was a semi normal girl part of childhood i got to live. my dad never gave me the love i needed from him, so i always wanted his approval. that hindered me for a lot of my teens too. glad we both made it on the other side.
>>42339239*woke & mellow
>>42339239My dad is in jail for extreme rapesHe's bi thoughKekGlad ur OK too
I want to fuck her asshole
Can’t we leave these threads in 2025Sage
>>42339134>zoomzoom feels the passage of time and gets insecureHeh, just like every other on earth...
>>42339134I haven't fucked her asshole yet, why would I stop making these threads?
