>>35508677
>No tabs!! Just gliding the e string over the fret ridge on the 18th fret towards the back of the fretboard, bending the b string inwards over again on the 19th fret, and tapping the next few strings with heavy heavy reverb to create this lush psych sound. Would be super cool with some drums and bass.
huhhh ...is this the low e we're talking about? it feels like high...
trying it and im so confused
my mics clipping but is this it? https://voca.ro/19VrKKEZTdNJ

>>35508820
high e! there’s no real picking or strumming, just letting the reverb do its thing as the strings bend. kinda hard to describe but it reminds me a lot of 70s krautrock stuff. it’s mostly from experimenting with the reverb. so idk if that makes any sense

>>35508875
i think that does? i might not be high enougt ig...
also! pls go listen to chon. rnrnrnrn

uh with qott 1) ive been told multiple times that im gonna be forced into girlmoding so it might end early. idk if im DOING anything? maybe running more?

>>35508677
dont go outside in da summer :/

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>>35509167
very math rockyyy. math rock always reminds me of anime ops lol, but i like so far

>>35509209
shit, outed as agp

eh fave 'math rock' imo is origami angel who are like 2 sad white dudes from midwest usa

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>>35509227
ooo i like somewhere city. good recorddd

and yes you’ve been outed now >:3 expose more of your music taste i love talking music ^_^

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>>35509332
nao you might be the most pintrest cali arts motherfucker i know
somewhere is amazing, the self destruct on gami gang makes me cry bitch tears

mmm
heres my stats.fm

1 day hrt boymoder am i welcome

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>>35509484
>pinterest cali arts girl
ahhhhhhh ive been called out

i’ll have to listen to gami, i didn’t know they put anything else out.

here’s my top 10 from stats, kinda surprised at all the indie rock but i think i sometimes forget it’s playing lol.


>clairo
ahhh love !!

>girl in red
i’ve heard good things but never checked out

>>35508677
>QOTT
My titties are now a-cup and I can't hide in the summer. It feels really nice girlmoding though.

>QOTT
nothing at all im sitting in a hoodie the entire time
done it 3 times already i'll do it again

>>35509560
yes! i don’t see why not. it’s really exciting finally getting to start hrt, or at least it was for me.
>>35509828
congratulations, you have officially made it! hope to join you one day.
>>35509853
a difficult but impressive feat. i feel like it’s getting hotter and hotter, i don’t know how much longer i can keep wearing hoodies…

I saw a boymoder on 9th Ave NE by the park dressed as Mario a couple weeks ago.

I just want her to know that I know.

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>>35509560
ahhh congrats!!

>>35509828
goals


anyway /bmg/ it is my bed time work tomorrow night night

>>35510118
How cute lol, I love how she chose to be Mario so based!

>>35510118
w...why?
>>35509622
yeah, their new album uhhh summer days ornsomething i didnt like tho
>car seat headrest
>sonic youth
>joy division
>pixies
you and my mum have very similar tastes thats wild

>>35508677
anyone from 2021 bmg here? crazy its been 3 years

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>>35510655
sup

>>35508677
>qott
honestly i don’t know. i’ll probably just sweat my ass off in a hoodie until i cant take it anymore and get a binder. i live with my Very Transphobic parents and the temperature gets up to 36C/97F here and we haven’t got any air conditioning..

>>35509560
of course

>>35510118
should’ve told her “i know what you are 0_0” lol

>>35510721
lol still boymoding?

>>35510789
yes, never slipped so far.

>>35510721
ocre!

>>35508677
>QOTT

I got some long sleeves/light hoodies and sports bras so I think Ill be ok to even wear normal t shirts. Idk if Ill wear shorts my legs are shaved so thats scary

>>35508677
hmmm i think just a lot of oversized tees
and baggy jeans for me

>>35508677
Holy shit I'm so sleepy but I almost overslept for uni gonna kms

>Pretending like I'm working while clearly not having my laptop with me and using the school computer to browse 4chan
How have I not been found out, teach didn't even ask, also also how is 4chan not blocked

>>35510655
Hi it's bmgs most hated poster

>>35508677
>QOTT: With warm days approaching, what are you doing to prepare for boymoding in summer?
I have no idea what to do last year I boymoder in the summer by wearing baggy hawaiian shirts but this year my tits are much bigger and show through everything I wear

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>>35511126
i have been investing in band tees!!! ppl tell me my boymode slips but i will persevere
>>35511184
just go on phone

>>35508677
heyyy bmg long time no see

QOTT:
I don't care anymore lol, I can't keep layering up forever and I won't bother hiding my boobs this summer, won't show em off either but I'm done hiding...
Also thrifted lots of summer scarves, I'm well prepared
I hope... idk I'll see

Did I miss any drama or something?

>getting too warm for baggy sweatshirts and stuff
>I look sorta visibly trans if I wear a tshirt the past couple years now
Gonna be a long few months :( anyway I'm busy hope everyone has a good day even the haters

>>35511297
>drama
Not rly, but we learned that bmg lives and dies by charlotte's hands
Last thread was good

>>35510655
just snooping to see what the new era of boymoders are like

>>35508677
Oh yeah, for the hot question: I wear casual button-down shirts. They're pretty thick, but still give air. The chest pockets simultanously hide and accentuate my chest. it's quite genius actually

>>35511359
why the obsession with her she seems to be a normal 4chan poster

>>35511440
Did you only join bmg last thread

>>35511440
She tends to be a little extra doomery at times, which can derail the threads. Overall, though, I'm totally for expressing bad things here, just not to the point of killing the convo, you know?

>>35511440
Charlotte has complex past, I love her but sometimes I wanna bash her skull in

>>35511446
no?

>>35511297
i think thats the common theme
>i dont really give a shit if ppl see my tits but im still not girlmoding. its kinda real. if we're gonna get stares anyways....

you guys want to start an e-band with me?

>>35511359
yeah well that's been part of bmg lore for a while

>>35511703
I wouldn't even mind girlmoding tbdesu but once you start you gotta keep doing it else it's gonna get real weird and I'll need a few more electrolysis sessions before I'm willing to maintain that lifestyle
I girlmode occasionally but in day-to-day life it's just not sustainable for me right now

>>35508677
>im playing fo4 instead
Idk new vegas looks old

>>35508677
Does anyone actually like fallout new vegas or is it like an elaborate meme? I tried to get into several times and it just feels old boring and clunky

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>>35508677
>QOTT: With warm days approaching, what are you doing to prepare for boymoding in summer?
im gonna use this outfit the rest of the year until winter.

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>>35508677

>theme
I'm thinking of playing it again with some graphics mods
Also, FO4:London will be released soon, which I'm excited about. ^-^

PS: Almost forgot, whatddaya think of the fallout show? :3

>qott
not hard to boymode when you look like a boy xc

>>35509963
>"i don’t know how much longer i can keep wearing hoodies…"

currently 8°C, but summer is around the corner...

>>35511172
>"Holy shit I'm so sleepy, but I almost overslept for uni gonna kms."

wdym, that's the best part of uni Q-Q

I wake up at 08, get up at 09, and go to lectures wherever I like or just watch them from home

for example, today I had a yoga lesson I signed up for, and that's it, I'm free for the day, probably gonna watch some seminars about databases

------------

>question for /bmg/
>do you visit any queer events?
>meetups, pubs, meetings?

I visit a pub meetup every month, and it's pretty nice, I'm not out, though, not even there, so they see me as a gay boy.. xc

>>35512186
I have to go to uni in person and I only had 20 minutes to get ready in the morning

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>>35511829
I definitely recommend FO4 for your first time playing fallout games. The gameplay is fantastic.

FNV has a better story, but you need multiple mods just so it doesn't crash every 30 minutes. xc

>>35512198
I already put 45 mods on my fo4 list
Couldnt resist
just a few basic stuff like better ui and granades

>>35512306
>>35512198
Was also wondering if I can make a couple of "cute mods" to work but form ym experience with skyrim those a re a pain, so vanilla bethesda faces it is

>>35511862
It's a genuine question anons

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>>35512321
>>35511862
Yes, it's really dated and hard for new players to get into.
I played FO4 twice before I got into FNV, but I enjoyed both games a lot. ^-^

>>35512311
I think that there should be a lot of mods for nicer faces, and installing is usually simple with a mod manager like Vortex

>>35512306
desu even FO4 needs at least the community patch to be playable, I also like mods that improve performance in the city

>>35512193
do you have mandatory attendance? :c

>>35512428
>do you have mandatory attendance? :c
Yes :)
If I have enough absences I'll get automically failed and get removed from the students list

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>>35511862
It’s a pile of shit that runs really badly, but it’s probably among the best RPGs ever made for the depth of its story, narrative, and choice trees. You can also mod it to hell and have Hatsune Miku and Astolfo as a Securitron follow you around as you play as Marie Rose from Dead or Alive, so it’s fun just for the absurd mods.

>>35512186
Hi shoelace! I used to go to gay bars, besides that I don’t really like lgbt events, they’re intimidating and i don’t have honfidence to go to a tranny one. Gay bars i’ve given up on because i don’t drink anymore and they’re mostly just seedy and not a great experience, plus I really don’t like drag or flamers.

As for the FO TV show, have not seen it. I heard it does some funky not so good stuff with the lore of the NCR, but i don’t really watch tv anyway.

>>35510646
Idk if i should be flattered or not ;_; I don’t actually put JD or the Pixies on much, but they love to auto play after albums I like so i think they may be getting inflated from those plays lol. Oh well still like their music sooo.

>>35511809
Hi Juche!

idk for me it really feels like ffs and feeling less shit about my body would be the best way for me to start girlmoding (once laser is over). cried myself to sleep last night over how my shoulders and ribcage look so im making great progress…


Anyway morning boymoder general, I have my long boring day of work then class until 8pm. Looking forward to it ;_;

>>35512428
>>35512468
Any way to make fnv easier to get into? A lot of people are praising it and I wanna give it a chance but I just can't see the charm

>>35512488
Tagged a wrong post meant this>>35512480

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>>35512488
Nexus mods, there’s the JSawyer mod, adding sprint, texture packs etc. All modernize the game. Warning: NV crashes randomly so adding mods will make it more likely to crash

good morning bmg! happy we're starting to hit bump limit again. i’ve got a final exam in like 3 hours so i won’t be here for too long today.

>>35510786
DANG 36C?? i live without air conditioning but it never gets that bad.
>>35511214
i’ll be manifesting your success. it’s an impossible choice between heat stroke or obvious boobs
>>35511991
that fit looks incredible!
>>35512186
>not hard to boymode when you look like a boy
the truth hurts to hear T^T

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>>35508677

>>35512844
>i’ll be manifesting your success. it’s an impossible choice between heat stroke or obvious boobs
I think I will choose the heatstroke :(
Idk it's a real struggle to hide them nowadays but I kinda have to because I don't have the confidence to rock being a twink with boobs

>>35511481
Omg thanks anon love you too
>>35512514
You shouldn't need to mod a game so heavily for it to be playable I don't get the NV love... Fallout in general is sorta ass and most Bethesda made games sell well despite being rushed glitchy messes

>>35512875
Drink plenty of water, put sunscreen on and don't stand out in the sun too much.
Being a twink with boobs is cool if you have the confidence but I understand not having it because I don't. I'd wanna be friends with a twink with boobs though.

>>35512983
Yeah I know how to not die in the summer, I just have to think of an outfit in which I won't burn alive and my tits won't be visible but idk if that's possible at this point
>Being a twink with boobs is cool
It just seems scary and awkward to me
>I'd wanna be friends with a twink with boobs though.
Me too desu

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I hope I'm not spamming /bmg/ too much xc

>>35512468
>university
ow :c

I heard some unis do that, but it's weird considering you're an adult, and it's your choice to study.

>>35511991
>outfit
It looks awesome, btw ^-^

>>35512480
Hi Naoto ^v^

>outside
yeah, that's understandable. I don't think I'll visit queer bars or events anytime soon, usually too loud for me, and I have a low alcohol tolerance, I get pretty woozy after one or two drinks.

>fallout
I can recommend the show ^-^
It's honestly great

>controversy
NCR as a whole is fine. Just wasn't shown.

I'm more interested in what they do with New Vegas.

Lots of fuss online about Mr. House, but him being in the show would retcon different endings. :c

>>35512488
>"Any way to make fnv easier to get into?"

I'm not sure, I don't usually have this problem.

You could try watching some videos on yt, edits, challenges, or lore to see if you like at least a part of the game.

Or, like others said, there are mods to modernise the game, if that would appeal to you.

>>35512844
Hii watergirl :3

yea... xc

It's kinda weird being seen as a boy, even if I never experienced anything else.
I can't relate to a lot of boy stuff, and people have expectations for me that don't line up at all with reality.

And it makes finding a partner impossible at the moment. Either way, with men or women, I'll be seen as a boy, which is an awful idea to think about.

>>35512875
Good luck, anonette u-u

>>35512978
yeah they’re piles of shit held together by glue and dreams. NV is still one of my top 5 games even if it runs atrociously and looks ugly.

Good morning bmg. I spelt terribly last night so today is gonna suck extra hard since it's a fasting day.

>qott
I think work will be okay since they blast the ac so hoodies inside won't be too sus. Gonna be tough to explain wearing so many layers when I go home to visit my parents tho - my mom commented on the "interesting design" of my hoodie around the chest area last night when I went home for dinner so fml I guess.

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>>35513057
Don’t worry about it !!

Yeah alcohol gets me really drunk now on HRT so i avoid.

Question for bmg
How do i not start dooming when I see my torso? I feel i’ll never be comfortable in my body because of the shape of my torso and it’s driving me crazy. Like i cried again this morning in the shower over it. :(


anyway work time and some husker du

>>35512875
ugh. i hear you on that one. like i don’t have the qualities to go full girlmode yet but i have lost the ability to freely boymode without hiding myself. it’s so frustrating!
>>35513057
hai shoelace ^-^ (i know i already responded to you but i wanted to say hi)

that dating thing is far too real. i don’t even wanna make friends irl cause it would make this dumb transitory phase so much more difficult to get out of…>>35513143
ouch. fasting days are really difficult. i always find the mid day hours the hardest.

>>35513172
Yeah exactly! I don't look enough like a woman to girlmode but I look enough like a woman that presenting as male is awkward

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>>35513172
omg yeah making irl friends and then being like im trans or later on seems super scary. but i also kinda realize that as someone who won’t ever really be fully stealth i guess im always going to be “coming out” in a way. idk maybe im wrong but it does kinda feel that way sorta. i’ve only told a few people irl being my therapist and two of my cis friends, one who doesn’t even live here anymore bc i told her when i was visiting Los Angeles

>>35513150
>How do i not start dooming when I see my torso?
Ugh same. My underbust is 36" and it's like, kinda barrel chested (its not super wide but it has like depth)? Sometimes I look in the mirror and it looks fine but sometimes I feel it looks like Elon musks ribcage from that one picture and then I start spiraling

>>35513172
>that dating thing is far too real
E is like amplifying how much loneliness I feel. All I crave is a boyfriend to hold me but dysphoria is keeping me from trying dating...hopefully it'll lessen eventually the longer I'm on HRT

>fasting days are really difficult. i always find the mid day hours the hardest
same

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>>35513294
I get that. My underbust iirc is 88cm. It’s wide but also kinda deepish that like i feel a flat tummy would still make me look uncanny. Idk when i see it i just see the same thing that’s bothered me since i was 12. I can wear clothes to cover it but it’s impossible to like not hyper fixate on it or my shoulders and then i just see this man staring back at me even if my face is androgynous my body will always be read as male and i’ll never really be able to truly girl mode mentally. it sucks.

my therapist asked me what the first word i think of when i see my body and i told her Refrigerator so that’s really how i see myself.


speaking of things that suck, my job is giving me bullshit tasks again. wonderful. im so done with this place

>>35511862
I really wanted to enjoy it but I never got further then like 30% in
just too clunky
I enjoyed FO4 though (heavily modded ofc)

>>35512186
>queer events
fuck no lol my therapist made me go to a group therapy a couple times and that was bad enough
Though I really wish I had someone irl to talk about trans stuff so maybe if I'm desperate enough I might change my mind

>>35512480
>>35513150
hey naoto! annoying coworker still bothering you?
yeah shoulders are tough to get over... though I genuinely think people on this board are way too obsessed with skeletons, you can compensate a lot of bad body traits with proper voice and mannerisms. Not trying to downplay any issues you have with your body, just remember we are extremely hard on ourselves and it's probably all less noticeable than we think to people out there!

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>>35513696
Hi!
oh god group therapy sounds miserable. having someone irl to be open with is good but like it’s so hard.

coworker is supposed to introduce me to a different dept today but he’s in a meeting atm. the tasks my project manager give me are just shit here. at least my office has a nice view lol

yeah i mean i dont freak about the measurements so much as just seeing it in the mirror makes me so dysphoric when i see it, like it has since i was young. but it’s not too bad because it’s balanced by my wider hips and butt but still like i don’t know how to not spiral over it because it feels like a hard barrier to dressing femininely the way i want to.
thanks for the uplifting words though :)


speaking of not noticeable to people, im wearing two layers today with a blouse underneath a sweater/jumper and my boobs are clearly visible. time to really consider wearing a bra full time lol

>>35511809
i mean ig since im done...facial laser at least ...except for the fact that i have electro throught the summer i would be ok? ppl say i just need to grow out my hair more..
>>35511862
tried it. i fucking hated it. much prefer stalker and into the radius
>>35512186
mmm ive been debating on going to some but idkkkk
>>35511991
hot. the shorts r cute but i can see it working...oh. i dont have any shorts besides gym shorts amd v tranny coded dolphin shorts. what shorts would yall wear?
>>35512875
bobtwinks r so hotttt tthoooo
>>35513143
oh. yeah. work.
so im working in the same office a close friend of mine has worked in for a while. And it appears hes regailed them with our stories or whatever, but i have no clue if hes told them im a girl or a guy or trans.
>>35513150
nao werent you happy ab it rarlier? am confused.

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>>35513836
Im ok with my WHR, but im not ok with my actual waist or ribcage or shoulder size. When i see those i see that picture of alex jones or a meatball. like my waist may shrink with weight loss but my shoulders and ribs are still so big that i feel a flat tum would still look naturally masc.

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>>35513381
holy shit why does this office not have a single use bathroom. i can’t stand using the mens bathroom, i go in there and there’s dudes washing their fucking feet and one had his cock out today. im so over using the men’s room and this job. i really don’t want to be a misandrist but i unironically do not want to be around men ever. shame because im attracted to guys physically and mentally and stuff but i just hate them around me they’re so disgusting and ive felt that way since i was young and was given an awful male sexuality with that hormone. ;_;

>>35513822
yeah it was terrible haha, there were like three people out of eight that seemed to take being trans serious at all and they were all at least theoretically binary and early to mid20s so it can only be far worse in "normal" lgbt meetups/groups

Looking in the mirror as a tranny has a certain russian roulette element to it for sure, and I know it's a bit of a useless thing to hear, but let's remember cis women come in many shapes and those that happen to look like us also struggle with dressing properly. Might not fix the actual problem but I find it occasionally validating to know if I was a real woman I might have the exact same issues

fwiw I personally feel like wearing a bra makes my boobs less visible because it smooths the area out or something
maybe I'm just telling myself that to justify wearing a bra all the time idk

>>35513836
you know best girl, just keep in mind if you stop laser your facial hair will start to grow faster again
I could go three days without shaving and cover it up with makeup but now that I stopped laser I'd have to shave every day and I won't do that to my skin as much I hate seeing that fucking stubble

>>35513057
One time I went to a trans group thing and an ftm shouted me down because another mtf asked me about hrt and I tried to explain it to her...
And everyone kept talking about how dangerous diy was

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>>35514329
oh jesus that’s how i’d imagine it would go. like super not trying at all hons, theyfabs, and boomerhons, at least in my experience. i once did activism with a group but i was literally the only young tranner there also pretty sure i was the only white tranner there too. not that that matters but it was notable.

yeah i get that. i try to remind myself that women aren’t one monolith and that helps, it just sucks when it really feels like you’re constantly trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t.

sometimes it just feels right and sometimes it’s tumbling down

>>35514353
jesus… sounds dreadful. i’d avoid spaces like that so much because i feel people love to be the loudest person in the room

saw y'all posting music earlier so contributing with something i wrote this morning

>>35514504
forgot to post the link lol
voca.ro/193h82rRTXcf

>>35513836
>bobtwinks r so hotttt tthoooo
Their confidence makes them hot, smth I don't have :/

>>35514517
ooo i like this!

>>35514526
No the boobs make them hot
>>35514415
Yeah the ftm was some richfag whose parents paid for them to go private overseas in Europe too so like opinion rejected desu

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>>35514573
jesus. here every tranner i’ve met at a bar or school or whatever has either been a theyfab or an insufferable hardcore commie. i’ve met cute and nice ones on grindr but never actually met them irl it was just conversations or sharing discord

>>35514573
>No the boobs make them hot
Let me cope :(

>>35514602
I met a girl off grindr and got catfished hard, had a beard and wore the most reddit tranny outfit possible. (yes programmer socks and amazon basics skirt)

>>35514646
>girl
>grindr
yes very curious how that happened to not be very nice

Has anyone else gotten hit on by women MORE after being on HRT for a while and boymoding and stuff? I swear it's a thing. I think a lot of girls just like prettyboys really, I mean I do, so... I'm like 95% into men 5% into women and I wish guys were hitting on me instead but women hitting on me does make me feel more confident and sexy

>>35514667
i mean i should've known what i was getting into going on grindr, but she was a cool person so i decided to meet up with her
>>35514682
i get hit on by more guys now and way less women

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>>35514646
i got catfished once by a “femboy” who then sent me pictures of his hairy ass and was obsessed with sissy shit. he wasn’t even feminine, full beard and hairy body. just disgusting


but uh that’s what i get for using grindr at all lol

>>35514728
yeah i haven't been on there since and have no plans to ever again

>>35513381
>>35513822
Wow haha are we doppelgangers? I have the same thing. Only thing that helps me cope with my 36" underbust and 18" shoulders is that my waist is narrowish and my hips are oddly wide for someone born male. The bone itself is like wide and flat, and viewing it from the side my ribcage sticks out further so it's making me think having a flat stomach will just make my lower ribs protrude out more aaaaaaaaaa I'm praying hrt will give me a fat ass and thick thighs once I start weight cycling. For now I still feel bricky

>>35514304
Where tfdl do u work that men do this lol
One of the offices I'm at is full of blue collar redneck types and I've nvr seem anything close
There's quite a few hot men my type too at my work and it's not making my life easy...

>>35514329
>>35514415
Wow you girls r scaring me out of going lol. I've been thinking of making some new friends by going to my city's trans support/activities group since all my current friends are all cishet but my biggest fear are literally meeting what you're describing

>>35514602
Yeah you will very rarely meet cute and nice ones and even those aren't by virtue free of all the mental illness that comes with trans people.
Sucks but it is what it is...
>>35514620
Sorry your opinion is just as valid as mine anon. I think it's a given that confidence is attractive!

>>35514781
I mean I'm just trying to cope about not having the confidence to be a boobtwink by convincing myself that I wouldn't be attractive as one anyways

>>35514856
Well idk what you look like but I think most people can be at least kinda cute with some self love, effort and time on hrt etc.
Excessive self hate guarantees that you're not attractive though let me tell you that kek.

>>35514781
>>35514758
>>35514646
Yeah lmfao I'm terrified of meeting these kinds of people, I've seen them in public a few times and I feel sick when I see them, ugh. There are definitely cool trannies I love talking to but a LOT of trannies are freaks that make me look away and make my stomach upset and make me worry that people think that's what I am.

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>>35514758
May just be doppelgangers lol. My hips are 98cm and i have a wide butt but i think my shoulders and torso just look so fucked. i don’t even know what shape you can call my body lol.
i’d still love a tummy that’s flat and not a fatty pouch though even if it makes my ribs protrude. maybe i’ll just get big boobs and it’ll look less bad.

i work for a government agency. the government does not hire the best people and a lot of the jobs require no real education or manners or anything and it’s a secure job so yeah this girl is stuck dealing with the disgusting mens room til she can girl mode. ;_;


you can def make trans friends irl! it’s just very hard for us out there if you want something relatively normal.
>>35514781 kinda sums it up lol

>>35514758
ah don't let me scare you haha it might not be that bad - if you do go, be sure to tell us if the stereotypes are true though

>>35514415
yeah my group had:
>someone who just freshly stopped repping, was barely shaved, wore mens stuff and didn't have a female name to address them with
>"trans man" who came in with a top knot updo, glittery shoes and painted nails, said HRT is dangerous and boobs are not feminine, first thing she did is complain about how people who don't know her assume she's a woman
>troon who was 6'2 with short hair whose main idea of transitioning seemed to be going into womens spaces (bathrooms, gym changing rooms etc)
ok I think that was it, there were two more pooners who barely said anything but seemed normal and were clearly trying to be seen as male and another pooner who was half-assing presentation but seemed very enthusiastic about getting on HRT soon so probably jsut a girlmoder, he was chill
and I think I'm forgetting someone but idk maybe we were just seven people after all

>>35514982
>98cm hips
jelly, I'm at 93 ._.

>>35514944
I don't hate myself? I put a lot of effort into my appearance I'm just not confident about being obviously trans

>>35514981
Meh by just talking to people you can easily filter out the undesirables and get to know the chill ones you enjoy the company of.
Unless ur on tttt cuz you're never getting rid of me until I get bored apparently lole

>>35515091
the cynicism is starting to be kinda endearing lol
>>35515004
yeah...i mean intrinsically trans support groups are going to be early trans fucks yk?

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>>35515004
ugh those pooners who think transitioning is a joke are the worst. the fact i have to go thru so much pain only to have someone be like transition means nothing!!! is so fucking invalidating. and that whole experience sounds horrifying.

> jelly
what im not telling you is my waist is 81cm :p so it’s less good looking ;_;

>>35514982
There's no way! We actually are just doppelgangers lmao.
My hips r 41" (~104cm) and my waist is like 32" at 6' and ~170lbs. I rly hate how wide I look in the mirror sometimes but at least my body is reasonably proportional. Too bad my head is like 59cm which is super big :(
I really want to drop to 150 for a flat tummy. I also work for government, but a municipal one in Canada :P

And yeah dealing with the men's room in the building the blue collar dudes work out of isn't ideal. Fortunately there's an accessible bathroom and I just use that one

I hope ur transition goes well and youll be able to girlmode soon!

>>35514981
>>35515004

Wow that sounds terrible. I'm afraid of meeting the stereotypical reddit hons, ik I shouldn't be and they're just trying to make the best of their situation but like, i rly don't want to deal with people described in >>35514728 irl
Maybe I'll give it a try lol, for science

>>35515170
I'm self aware enough to understand why I'm hated by many, I'm stubborn and I can turn an entire space negative, rather complain than put effort in etc etc.
I don't think I'm a villain just annoying!

>>35515170
of course I was one of those, my main gripes were with the "trans man" who couldn't present more feminine if forced to at gunpoint and the unapologetic rapehon
though I will always find it weird when adult trans people won't even have a name, like I knew what my name was since I was 13 or so

>>35515190
ok my waist is 74cm last time I measured so ratio-wise we're about the same actually
Is .8 really that bad of a WHR?

My real crime is being a hipdipmoder in a whr world

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>>35515364
i don’t think .8 is bad id just rather my waist be smaller

>>35515213
thankssss <3

>>35510655
Yes I was 16 years old and got banned from the discord and am still thinking about it to this day
I'm 18 and on hrt now

>>35515553
Omg are you that kid? Remind me your username again

>>35508677
Which one of these is the better option anons
https://www.calvinklein.pl/balkonetka-flirty-000qf5146e001
https://www.calvinklein.pl/biustonosz-typu-bralette-pod-t-shirt-modern-cotton-000qf7213eub1
The links are polish sorry about that, the sizes I'm interested in is either 70E or M

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>>35515004
>>"someone who just freshly stopped repping, was barely shaved, wore mens stuff and didn't have a female name to address them with"

haha, yeah, totally doesn't sound like me q_q

at least I have a feminine name, I guess (T-T)

>>35515221
>>I don't think I'm a villain just annoying!

No, I'm annoying. (-_- )
You're just unnecessarily mean sometimes.

>>35515553
>I'm 18 and on hrt now

Congrats ^-^
how's it going so far?

>>35513294
>>35513381
>>35514758
>depth
My people. I have found you. Although Elon's ribcage is probably over 40 inches. He's over 6 foot too, so it might even be more.
It's caused by breathing problems. I grew up with asthma. Mine's nothing like the Google pictures for barrel chest, but it will probably look weird as I lose more weight.

>>35515789
I'm unnecessarily mean bcuz I'm bitterhon

>>35515825
Yep. It’s less exaggerated if i wear high waisted stuff at least. If i get a good size bust it might at least balance out? I’d like a nice flat tummy though.

>>35515364
i mean i had 2 in mind but sticking with my normal name cause its already androgyne enough? and the other ones were clocky
>>35515221
i mean endearing as in i like it. its comft

>>35515945
Thanks, it's nice not being hated maybe I'll try be less of an asshole to everyone

>>35515527
>picrel
Wide just like me frfr

>>35515825
Yeah elons ribcage is freaky. Mines kinda weird too in how it's shaped, it has like a v shape in both frontal and side profile so my waist isn't fucked but my upper chest kinda is. I can't rly complain too much tho since my dad has a gigachad upper torso and very wide shoulders and pronounced v shape which I thankfully didn't inherit

>>35515364
>>35515527
>.8 WHR
>>35515213
>59cm skull
What the hell? Why are you all like me??
I'm >>35515825

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>>35515364
>though I will always find it weird when adult trans people won't even have a name
For me at least im stuck between a pretty name that i’ve always loved and want to use but its kinda clocky(in the sense that it’s very uncommon) and a shorter name that’s closer to my birth name but is kind of old fashioned. I’m not even close to girlmoding so i just use a shortened version of my name which is andro enough, and i can keep it if i pick the second option. maybe im just overthinking it and have been for like 3 years now :\
>>35515945
that’s cute! very lucky lol. my birth name is hypermasculine and strong sounding and it never fit me as a feminine dainty girlyboy…
>>35516034
all tranners, obv

hi! i just got back from my exam, it went really well! only like 4 more years of this

>>35515929
this is super difficult to balance. like i’m sure most of us want to ensure breast growth, which mean gaining weight, but we also want a slimmer waist, which means losing weight! it always seems like a lose lose situation.
>>35515990
i’ve really started to come around on you recently, sorry for pushing toxic positivity earlier, a space like this is unique and important.
>>35516074
my name is pretty male as well, but at least it has an androgynous nickname i can use to cope.

>>35516034
Genetically predispositioned to become a tranner. It nvr even began.

>>35516155
Positivity is good there needs to be some balance bc if everyone here was like myself then it'd be a purely negative space. Your posting adds more to the thread than mine so it makes me happy that you don't despise me lol!

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>>35516155
Ahhh congrats! school is awful but you got thru the exam at least!

yeah im like desperate to lose weight to better my waist but i also want to have my boobs be a normal size and not stunted or conical or whatever. mixed feelings on this :/

and yeah for the past 2.5 years ive been having people use the shortened version of my name but i honestly want to eventually have a genuinely feminine name. i’ve thought it thru and thru and thru for years at this point and i just can’t bring myself to take it because i still mentally feel like im just stuck as a male. idk brainworm moment my coworker just gave me some stupid shit he didn’t want to do for busy work and now i have to work on it ….

>>35516034
oh yeah I'm a skullhon too haha
I was ok with my waistline tbdesu but I hoped gaining weight would shape it out it a bit more
Instead it all went to my thighs and stomach pouch q.q

>>35516155
still waiting on my exam results from beginning of March lol, glad it went well for you though xx

what's especially hard is that simply no one knows what actually helps with breast growth/fat redistribution
some people peddle weight cycling but does it work? who knows
can you screw with breast growth if your hormone levels don't mimic natural puberty? who knows
does prog help or harm breast growth? who knows
it's all guesswork and it sucks not knowing whether what you're doing or not doing is helping or hurting your progress

but being trans is beautiful and empowering or something

>>35515945
my birth name is also androgynous but I still had a real name in mind since forever idk maybe I'm being unfair projecting my experience on others

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>>35516320
Im glad ive never done the weird phrenology thing of measuring my head i think that would just make me feel bad. besides i have thick curly hair so i dont even think id get an accurate measurement.
>being trans is beautiful and empowering or something
ha yeah… frustrating existence

>>35508677
Just saw a woman with beautiful straight blonde hair, day ruined.
I hate my hair so fucking much
t. brunette n wavy

>>35516074
eh i got named half-after get this a feminine autist weeb who gets groomed by americans to be...more american ig
he grows into a guy but at the ripe age of 20 well...
https://youtu.be/DZEpB4C7GTA?si=uAeTS_xW62DMqzbc
i do genuinely like it tho. idk.
ppl always agreed that it fit me so hey
>>35516320
being trans is smelly

wondering if im a ribhon

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>>35508677
thanks for giving me a reason to post this image. I just found out how to save an Instagram image.

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>>35516574
no worms! i hate being trans though
>name lore
;_;
my birth name was because my mom knew someone with my name when she was in elementary school and liked the name.
>>35516546
me whenever i see a cool girl in a cool outfit.

>>35516841
I really want to stop being so bitter but natural blonde hair is so fucking pretty and I'll never have it :(

>>35516864
i kinda feel u
i seeth at blake livelys hair

>>35516959
I seethed at this whole video lol https://youtube.com/shorts/m-MNOY_TbO4?si=BBUHm0LYterhnbmM
She's so incredibly pretty and literally every hairstyle in this vid suits her so well
And most important her hair looks so good I really wish I was naturally light blonde

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>>35516864
i get this way about girls with shaggy long hair that looks perfect and they don’t have my male looking face. people like kristen stewart or sophie thatcher or this one italian model i see or random girls i see on the street. like it just hurts so much and then i feel like a creepy skinwalker sigh i just wanna be a pretty girl and not a hideous androgynous moid thing

>>35517010
why did I watch this
iwnbaw

>>35516864
i have blondish brownish straight hair, and it's really one of those grass is greener situations. i really wish i had wavy brown hair instead of wire straight

>>35516864
yeah :x

>>35517093
>like it just hurts so much and then i feel like a creepy skinwalker sigh i just wanna be a pretty girl and not a hideous androgynous moid thing
God yes those are exactly my feelings as well, I feel like I live in hell
>>35517109
Sorry :(
>>35517121
Not my fault ur grass is greener than mine anonette

>>35517177
>Not my fault ur grass is greener than mine anonette
what, i was trying to make you feel better

>>35517195
I know I was just making a joke sorry

>>35517219
oh i had no clue lmao

>name stuff
dunno if its cope but i am thinking of keeping my birth name kai. its abt 10% female in the us but almost all famous kais are men
the name is soo common among transmascs too...
is this a bad idea, bmg?

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>>35515843
:c

>>35516320
>name
My parents gave me a girl name for some reason. Technically, it's gender neutral, but not in reality.
Most people assume I'm a girl when they read my name.
So I guess I won in that way because getting a female name as a trans person in my country is a massive pain.

>>35516546
>blonde hair

I can relate, mom and sister are blonde, and my hair turned like ash brown with puberty -_-

It kinda made me appreciate the boymoder character more though.
I feel like because brown eyes + brown hair are so common that they never actually get represented in media.

>>35517093
>>35517177
>>"like it just hurts so much and then i feel like a creepy skinwalker sigh i just wanna be a pretty girl and not a hideous androgynous moid thing"

yeah, this makes me wanna cry
thanks for reminding me of this awful reality T~T

being trans is a curse

>>35517342
if you like it and you're fem enough you can make it work, but most people will automatically think male when they hear it. my name is about 20% female in the us, but it's androgynous enough to work for me so i'm keeping it because it's easier

>>35517357
>I can relate, mom and sister are blonde, and my hair turned like ash brown with puberty -_-
I didn't even have a chance at blonde hair, my mom had brown hair snd my dad had black hair
>I feel like because brown eyes + brown hair are so common that they never actually get represented in media
I am lucky enough to have inherited central heterochromia from my mom
>being trans is a curse
It absolutely is, I will never understand people that don't hate being trans

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>>35517357
> thanks for reminding me of this awful reality T~T
noooo ;_;

i’ve cried many tears over this and a lot of time yelling into my pillow or squeezing my plushies as i shake and curl up in fetal position because of how desperately i wished i was a woman.

>>35517403
>i will never understand people that don't hate being trans
i’ll never understand the people who if given the chance wouldn’t take being cis. all the money effort time pain suffering and trauma from being a tranny is not worth it in the long run and it doesn’t make you cool or empowered or a rebel or whatever the fuck, it just makes me feel like im a freak and a genetic reject…

>>35517342
I'm keeping my birth name as a middle name but I generally don't think it's a good idea to keep androgynous names, just one more thing that makes people take a closer look at you

>>35517177
it's ok, part of life and all, it just makes me seethe to see women with very short hair knowing I could never in a million years pull that off
I wish I had hair like Olivia Rodrigo ._.

>>35517357
kinda funny how many of us seemingly have androgynous names, tranny gene strikes again

i keep seeing women who are dressed nice and want to compliment them but then i remember it would come off as creepy or desperate so i bite my tongue.

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>>35518298
god i know that feeling. ahhh im so desperate for feminine socialization. when women compliment an outfit of mine im like super excited and happy but it feels i could literally never do it the other way even tho they clearly think im gay or something.


so the thing that sucks about look at FFS is that so much of the results are 48year old hons looking more like hons or are super ugly to start so i don’t know what to think. the only surgeon i’ve seen with good results on his actual page is Keo, but maybe i haven’t looked deep enough

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shoulder to hip ratio is my newest brainworm and brainworms are meant to be shared
did you know women have a SHR ratio of 1 on average
that's right, if your shoulders are wider than your hips it's joever

>>35518436
Circumference wise my SHR is 1 but width wise my SHR is 1,17
It's over

>>35517093
ahh and it happened again. the real problem of being in an architecture school is how many of the students here fit the exact archetype of girl i want to be but never can be

>>35508677
>QOTT
luckily I get summers off so I plan to stay inside all day and not see anyone until it gets cooler :)

>>35508677
For some reason I'm feeling really hopeless and dysphoric rn
I don't specifically know why though

Why aren't you girlmoding anons

>>35519533
ugly

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>>35519533
im disgusting

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>>35519533
i look male and need ffs and to stop looking male

>>35519533
undeniably male

>>35519533
plan on it in a few months once i move. voice is shit though so i have work to do

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>>35519533
imma monster

>>35519533
I don't pass + I have a bad voice + I live with transphobic parents

>>35519533
need to wait for hair to grow...and crush my ribs somehow. by the time i hit 6 mo on i probably will

>>35519986
i break your ribs you break mine?

>>35520129
I have a bat!!!

real talk tho. is it possible to fracture your ribs and let them heal in a way that makes them smaller?

>>35518460
X_X
Circumference-wise, mine is like 1.14 or something
Death is the only solution

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>>35520161
let’s do this!

>>35520206
idk if bonesmashing works for ribs ;~;

>>35519533
I love all the replies to this, bmg hasn't changed at all

>>35512978
>Omg thanks anon love you too
xoxo, my favorite Irish poster

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>>35510655
>anyone from 2021 bmg here?
Who's asking >.>

>>35519533
I am! :3

>>35520340
This image is so cozy, nothing better than a nice day off outside with good beer good food and a full pack of smokes
God i miss cigarettes so much

I cant ever pass. Im not sure what to do anymore. Should I just suicide? There is no point to live anymore

>>35521391
>Should I just suicide?
probably not

>>35520846
i love that artist. i think i have some more art from them

>>35520340
disgusting foot fetish picture

>>35521923
feet being in a drawing does not make it foot fetish art. the fact that you see feet and think of them as sexual say a lot more about you than it does the artist

>>35508677
You stole my fuckimg JOKE!!!!!!!

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>>35521923
all pictures i post are foot fetish pictures if you think about it hard enough
>>35520846
here’s another

i just broke up with my girlfriend. i don’t know what to do. i don’t know what happened i don’t get it. what did i do wrong to drive her away? im such an idiot for thinking long distance could work. i mean it did for 18 months, but its just tumbled over these past three and i dont know what else to do. i nearly did it last friday but couldn’t bc it hurt. but today i think it was just it. i feel so terrible

sorry for using this general as my personal blog

>>35522313
sorry to hear that friend. i did long distance for about the same amount of time too, and i had to break up with them. it takes time and you won't understand a lot of what led to that decision but you will eventually. feel free to rant to me if you'd like, i know what it feels like all to well lol

>>35522337
it just i don’t know. her job starting getting really bad and she got leave for anxiety attacks caused by work but she’s just let her life fall to bits in that time. just playing ff14 and not even including me in her life at all. i have so much problems and when i talk to her about them it’s like it goes nowhere and i feel like i pushed her away. i feel like such a horrible person for breaking up with her when she’s at a low but im just not happy in this relationship anymore. i just don’t get how it happened she and i were so deeply happy together for so so long and then something just changed and now we’re separated

>>35522451
my ex did the exact same thing. when her life went down she brought me with her. our communication broke down and our relationship suffered as a result.
i want to make one thing very clear to you. it's not your fault. sometimes you need to choose yourself over others, even if you deeply care for them, and it sounds like that's what you did. do yourselves a favor and go no contact completely for a few months, and then if you want to, you can reevaluate, but you both need time to breathe.

>>35522451
>just playing ff14 and not even including me in her life at all
>i feel like i pushed her away
it really seems like she wasn’t engaging with you, and thus was pushing you away. it’s not your fault this happened, try as you might sometimes people just refuse to change for the better. she shouldn’t be your responsibility, and if she can’t take care of herself she probably isn’t in the right place for a relationship. i’m sorry this happened to you, i wish life wasn’t so horrible, i really fucking do.

>>35522538
>>35522485
she told me how helpless she would feel when i’d get down because of the distance, but i think the ff14 thing really just became her escapism outlet because she told me her life is just complete shit now and there’s nothing to even talk about because she can’t work due to harassment from her managers, she’s trans in a country that hates trans people, and she has a gf who lives on the other side of the world.

i tried so hard to help and to integrate ourselves together again but it just never went anywhere. im really hurt and sad over it because of how desperately i wanted to make this work. i’ve just never had anyone who i could spend so much time with and just feel happy with all the time and who i felt safe and confident around and who genuinely loved me. i don’t know what happened.. it hurts so much :(

>>35508677
shoulders are accurate, to me at least

>>35522099
I NEED A BEER AND CIGGY SO BAD WAAAAAAAA
Fuck this I'm getting pizza

>>35522313
The way you talk about it it kinda seemed inevitable desu..
It's gonna suck for awhile but remember you're doing what's best for you in your life rn<3

>>35522793
it certainly did feel inevitable from the second she got placed on leave i got worried but i didn’t think it would hurt this much. im just here crying into my pillow because of this. its so pathetic but it wasn’t going to work. im such a fool for thinking the distance like thsi was realistic ever

>>35522919
Better to rip the bandaid off now right.. but it's never easy no matter what side of it you're on. I hope you feel better soon fren

>>35523281
yeah. i know too well when a relationship is failing sadly. it just hurts that i had to break up with someone i connected with so much. thanks for the kind words

I think my relationship with my cis girlfriend of years is slowly falling apart aaaaa, hell... We have good days and bad days but there's fighting and talk of breaking up and the vibe is just sometimes so off. We're best friends and we love each other but honestly to both of us it's been feeling more like just best friends than partners. I'm really thinking I'm almost exclusively into men and I think she might be less into women than she thought now that I'm starting to look like a girl. I don't knowww I just needed to vent. We've been together a long time and everything is going it be such big changes if we break up, especially if I try dating men instead, I feel like I'm going to be so immature for my age at it since I've never dated a guy

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can FFS fix me or am i meant to look like chudjak forever
unsee cc/album#m2TcAV0qhP3r

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>>35523863
>Relationship struggles in /bmg/ tonight. I’m sorry to hear that anon. I know how hard it is to feel like the person you love so much is starting to feel like the relationship is collapsing.
It especially sucks if it’s because of your transitioning. I get how you feel with being kind of in a stunted adolescent state where you feel you have a lack of experience, i feel that’s kind of common among tranners?

either way, *hugs* to you and i hope you can figure things out. im sorry you’re going thru this

>>35524059
Yeah :/ it's not easy but honestly like I'm not that surprised either, transitioning can fuck relationships up, even without social transition, even if it's in slow motion that it falls apart. It's just so weird how it's playing out because we're actually best friends that love doing everything together and we laugh and have fun and we really love each other and care about each other but that fire of a relationship isn't there, there's not really any attraction or sex anymore or other kinds of intimacy either really so the vibe just feels off and it's frustrating for both of us but we still enjoy each other's company and we're comfortable so we hesitate to end things.

It's almost like I don't want to admit things to myself fully or say them out loud. I'm pretty sure I have not really much attraction to women at all and my mind only goes to men when I get horny. I think I'm basically just a straight girl but it's scary to admit totally and experiment with because it would shatter my comfort and hurt her and it's terrifying.

Yeah, I do think we're pretty stunted in general. I'm learning stuff now in my late 20's that cis girls would have learned like at least 15 years before me. I'm trying hard to catch up though.

>>35524053
You basically look like a pooner in terms of skull shape, I don't think you even need FFS. you need to focus more on like brows and hair and I think weight loss and stuff. You got a way luckier skull than me, I have a super sharp diamond cutting square jawline that men have told me they're jealous of and women have hit on me for :( makes me feel so gross and manly

>>35524201
ik i gotta lose weight but since im entering tanner 3 im afraid itll fuck up breast growth idk

>>35522748
stfu ur.pretty
>>35522313
shit im sorry to hear. ik it was difficult
it.seems yall are gonna remain friends tho?
>>35524221
ugh kinda same but worried itll also fuck up current face lol

Good morning bmg

>>35523863
oh I'm sorry anon. It is scary to abandon something you've spent years building up but there's also no point in holding on to a husk of a relationship just for old times sake
Just remember to look at the big picture, especially on HRT your emotions might be messing with your perception

>>35522313
From what you wrote in recent threads it seems you did everything you could reasonably be expected to do to salvage it and reach out. This isn't on you, don't be so hard on yourself xx

>>35522793
Try a glass of wine and a ciggie so good.
>>35520687
Do I know u kind anon

>>35525302
Shove the ciggie in your eyeball to make it even better

Just failed an exam hell yeah

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>>35508677
shoulders too narrow to be accurate to me sorrgy

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>>35526626

good morning bmg! my bica comes in today :))) no more cypro depression soon tm

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>>35527127
good morning anon!

>>35527288
holy shit hatsune miku said good morning to me!!!

>>35527369
sadly im not hatsune miku, sorry for deceiving you

did you sleep well?

>>35527405
for the first time in weeks yeah

>>35525102
Fuck, yeah, it's just like so hard deciding if it's the right call or whatever but the feeling that something is off and we're not connecting romantically or sexually is mutual even though we get along so well. She pretty much told me that she just feels like my best friend and isn't totally happy in the relationship. I keep thinking about men and I feel all warm and fuzzy when I imagine having a hot strong boyfriend cuddle me and kiss me. I like don't even want to have sex in this relationship, I think I was just forcing myself to be a straight guy. Ugh, yeah, it's mutual, that connection just isn't there. I don't even think we know how to be alone anymore, we've lived together for years. I think the right call that would be best for both of us in the long term would be to just call it quits and be friends instead but it's like impossible for me to go through with that. She talks about breaking up one minute then getting married the next, I feel like she's just hoping that some extra level of commitment will somehow fix everything but I think it will just make things messier.

>>35527127
personally cypro made me unbelievably emotionally numb, not necessarily depressed i don't think. starting weening of about a week ago and i started crying yesterday at the dumbest shit imaginable so hopefully i can experience emotions again

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>>35527610
hell yeah, thats what we like to see

>>35527288
why is she drippy?

>>35528916
shes sweating, maybe its hot or smth

>>35527127
good morning! it’s nice that you’re getting off stuff that makes you feel bad, arguably even better that you slept well. hope bmg has something fun planned for today.
>>35527791
> I think I was just forcing myself to be a straight guy
i think a lot of us have gone through this. it is definitely difficult to solve, especially if you are co dependent on each other now, but separating will almost certainly help in the end and i think both of you know that but are too nervous to fully admit it. you should sit down and have a serious conversation about this, and what should happen moving forward.

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having nice filed and buffed natural nails is the ultimate flex as a boymoder. mine keep getting weirdly bent at the tips though. need to stop getting them soaked in water and shit

>>35529256
Fuck that monitor is amazing, isn’t it one of only a few? I wonder if Carmack still has it.

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>>35525302
Oh i tried EVERYTHING with a ciggie in my 12 years with them..i wonder if they ever think of me....

>>35527127
YES
I have made it my personal mission to get as many people off cypro and onto bica as possible, it literally saved my life<3
Please make sure you get a liver panel after a month or two just to be safe!

>>35529256
I used to have the same problem, get yourself a daily collagen supplement

>>35529341
wont that take like half a year until your nail is grown out and it takes effect?

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>>35524186
i get that. i also struggled for a long long time to figure out that i was attracted to boys, id fantasize about it when i was in high school but never wanted to admit i was attracted them.
and it sucks to feel like you’ve been left behind but you’ll get there and i hope you can get thru it.

>>35524414
we are. she’s my best friend in the whole world, it’s just we can’t work as a relationship and honestly it’s better this way i think. it’s just sad how much i loved her.
>>35525102
thanks <3 i at least get to be at home today since we did a field visit and then get to go home.
>>35529096
i know i’ve had to force myself to be the straight guy. i’ve dated a lot of people and i just kinda never felt right in the straight guy role. a big reason for why i started thinking gender in the first place was i thought i must just be asexual but like no it’s because i can’t fit this male role and i love being treated sweetly and gently in the relationship as a girl. idk

also hi bmg work is done for me today so i get to rest which im happy about

>>35529341
the thought of getting blood work done makes me wanna die but I guess it beats actually dying from liver failure :(

>>35529465
are you scared of needles?

>>35529309
did you make your appt for hrt?

>>35529096
Yeah, I really do think we are codependent, we don't know how to be apart and we both recognize like there's major problems and a disconnect but we can't end it and we keep trying to make it work.
>>35529439
Yeah seriously same here. I was attracted to boys back then, I'd get butterflies around hot guys and fantasize about making your with my guy friends that were cute but I somehow rationalized that I was a straight guy. Mental gymnastics are crazy.
Also fuck I relate to that too with the breakup, I love her to death and she's my best friend but I don't think we're like in a romantic relationship if that makes sense.
And yeah the guy role feels so wrong I hate having to do the "boyfriend" stuff in my relationship I want a guy who will hold me and open doors for me and fix my car and stuff

>>35529481
I have a phobia of both needles and blood yeah. last time I got blood drawn I passed out and when I think about doing it I turn pale and have trouble breathing

>qott
I'm just gonna die, the trailers at ups get to like 130

>>35529405
It shouldn't no, i noticed stronger nails within a few weeks and as soon as i go off it for a week or two my nails start breaking again

>>35529465
It's really nothing, you literally show up at your apt with your requisition, check in on a tablet, they call your name and a super nice nurse takes you back asks how your day is puts a needle in you (they're better at this than anyone I've met bc they do it all day) and then they send you on your way no questions asked
Easiest doctor's appt ever

>>35529583
Just look away while they're doing it, works for me every time. They're usually so good at those places that you barely feel it

>>35529650
>>35529667
I don’t want to explain in more detail what about it makes me feel ill because thinking about it this much is already making me dizzy.

>>35529650
well idk i still have biotin supplements and those are really cheap i think. have you tried those too?
also what do you do with your cuticles, mine grow pretty wide when i dont do anything, and when i do i inevitably end up getting hangnails and peeling etc.

>>35529744
does biotin actually do anything? been thinking about adding that to my supplement regimen but it seems like housewife voodoo to me

>>35529938
i have no idea its just been sitting on my nightstand. i originally got it when i had shorter hair and wanted it to grow.

>>35529938
it made my hair grow really fast, especially my body hair so i stopped cause i was shaving nearly everyday just to maintain even some smoothness on my legs

>>35529696
Awe I'm sorry anon. Like you said it's worth it for your health. You got this <3

>>35529744
I've never really noticed any effects from biotin except my body hair growing more, like not even the hair on my head and my nails still broke and bent so I'm pretty meh on it, whereas collagen is a night and day difference. It's gotten a lot cheaper recently, i get it on Amazon and just use like 2/3 of a scoop daily instead of the full thing and it works just as well
As far as cuticles, I've usually found the more i fw them the worse they get so i try to leave them alone as much as possible. When I'm filing my nails I'll lightly push back any of the really bad ones, and then obv push them all back when I'm putting on fake nails or painting them, but that's it. I used to be so bad with biting them and stuff it was a REALLY hard habit to break

>>35530197
i hope im not thinning them too much with the buffing file. dont think ill ever paint my nails because id go crazy if the edges or the surface arent perfect. i can also feel the presence on my nail like a slight tension which i hate, idk if thats normal. but that was like 3 years ago so idk.

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>>35529579
>was attracted to boys back then, I'd get butterflies around hot guys and fantasize about making your with my guy friends that were cute but I somehow rationalized that I was a straight guy.

God yeah. For me i don’t really remember a lot of boys in school being attractive to me besides a handful but the first guy i had a major crush on i was so obsessed with. at this point im almost exclusively male attracted because i don’t think i could ever find myself dating a cis girl again. i feel it might just be too awkward with the whole expectations and roles and the fact that i’m on hrt and everything. just idk. i think a lot of my attraction to girls when i was younger was jealousy based honestly. i remember not exactly being attracted to them but attracted to something about them like their style or their socialization or their personality and felt like that was what was missing in my life or whatever it was. idk attraction is tough to describe.


hate to be all transbian and stuff too but like i feel like i went from not really being attracted to trans girls to being on hrt and dating one where it’s like i feel super attracted to them, and i don’t know why. but id still rather have a boyfriend who i can snuggle up with and kiss and play with his fluffy hair

>>35529256
ugh! i completely ruined my nails through years of picking at them. do any of you know if a manicure would be able to help fix them?

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>>35530359
yes!! manicures they push the nail bed back file them down and make them look so nice. highly highly recommend it

>>35530409
>they push the nail bed back
winced, ty

>>35530437
sorrrryyy

>>35530473
you know that the nail bed is the part under the nail right

>>35530309
Painting is so not worth it, i just use fake nails now bc they always look better and take way less time. Though I've heard target has a machine now that will paint your nails perfectly in like a minute or two and i really want to check it out bc fake nails kinda suck for my job

>>35530497
id only consider clear polish anyway so i dont have to keep thinning them for the shiny

>>35530486
i am not an intelligent person when it comes to hands. i meant the skin where the nail meets the skin, they push that back to give you a fuller nail

>>35530583
oh that sounds awesome! definitely gonna try and get one this summer.

>>35530583
thats the cuticle which i was talking about earlier. F tier body part desu

>>35530594
they’re great. i get mine painted at the same time bc it’s cute but you could just go clear if you want a more natural look
>>35530654
i see

>>35527127
The final redpill mono injections but personally wouldn't suggest until 2 years hrt bc ppl who start on it seem to get tube boobs for whatever reason.
Needles are scary af at first but you get used to it, also you should never use anything larger than 30g 8mm

>>35530334
Omfg I relate to basically all of this. I think my attraction to girls was WAY different than the boys I knew, they'd be like all horny talking about their body or whatever but I just thought like they were pretty and I liked their personality and style and stuff and basically wanted to be their friend while being jealous of them and I assumed that's attraction? Definitely, it was so different.
Also because of the role thing and being on hormones and stuff it does feel weirder being with cis women because you're going to like get forced into being the boyfriend almost always. I'm not like incapable of attraction to cis women but I'm more attracted to men by a lot and get more excited by them and the idea of the girlfriend role is way better. Same with transbian stuff like it's somehow more tolerable than the idea of being with another cis woman? I don't know. I just feel like next to a cis woman I'll always be a man and be forced into that role and I hate that.

>>35530334
>>35531149
we’re all in the same boat here. when i was younger i mistook envy for attraction. i genuinely thought that every guy wanted to be his girlfriend and every girl wanted to be her boyfriend and everyone just kinda coped with it and never brought it up. i think dating other trans girls is appealing cause in that case we both understand that no one wants to be in the male role, so it works out better than a cis girl.

>>35531228
I'm not really attracted to cis women but I feel like it's maybe a little unfair of people to assume they'll treat a trans gf as a male and that comes across as more of an insecurity thing rather than based in reality...
Personally just prefer to have my own alone time and stuff over anyone man or woman

>>35531029
I plan to go mono eventually close to the one year mark or whenever I notice my boobs get to tanner 3

>>35531282
Great anon best of luck with your transition and congrats on moving away from cypro too :)

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>>35531149
yeah i’d routinely get sickened by the things boys my age would say about girls and i didn’t understand it. the gross sexual hormones in my body still made me hypersexual but the way i viewed girls at the time was incredibly different from my peers.

>>35531228
>>35531149
i don’t know if id necessarily be placed into the male role, but i do think as a tranner its very scary to be in a relationship with a cis woman i don’t want to be seen as her effete boyfriend by others, id want to be her girlfriend and i just don’t know how well it would ultimately work. in my experience every person who is a tranner who is in a relationship with a cis girl was not transitioning when they started dating. oh well. fellow trans girls are nice to date because they get it but there’s also problems and i just kinda only want a boyfriend idk im all messed up from breaking up last night

>>35529696
You can totally get over a phobia to needles! I know, because I (mostly) have. I used to scream and cry whenever I had to get shots as a kid (and still very nervous and nauseous as I got older), but now I can do my own HRT injections. Today was my best one yet, zero pain or pressure, no burning or irritation during and after, and minimal leakage. If you ever end up on DIY, I recommend buying from someone who uses MCT oil since it's thin enough to use the super tiny 31g needles.
>>35531029
>tubes when switching early
I switched at 9 months, and now I have tubes ._.
Still beats having to order pills every 3-6 months and take multiple times a day

>>35532134
noted thank you

>>35532038
Oh yeah. Absolutely I was horny but talking with boys and them like really objectifying girls and saying gross stuff kinda bothered me. I think they picked up on it and teased me about it...

I feel like I'm the effete boyfriend right now, just like this skinny feminine looking fag prettyboy, ugh. I still have to fill the boyfriend role too, shit like holding her bags while she's shopping or whatever, you know what I mean. I just don't get to be a girlfriend. She still calls me a guy usually too, even in private. I really think she just sees me as a pretty boy and is less attracted to me now anyways because I'm gradually looking more like a woman.

I feel like I'll end up in your shoes soon and it scares me, I mean in terms of breaking up and everything. It just feels... Wrong I guess. And I really only want a boyfriend too, not much else really interests me, the idea of a guy a few inches taller than me with big muscles holding me... ugh. I just can't get that right now. I can enjoy cuddling and kissing and stuff but it doesn't feel raw and primal and make my heart skip like the idea of being with a guy does. It doesn't make me feel alive.

>>35532521
anonette i think it would be best if you leave. she doesn’t seem to accept who you are and is actively refusing to treat you with dignity about your identity. additionally, you seem to have discovered that you are predominantly androphilic, you shouldn’t stay in an unhealthy relationship out of obligation. i’m rooting for you

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good evening bmg

i would like to inform you all that i have a headache, and it hurts to swallow

thank you for your time

>>35532637
sounds like strep

>>35508677

QOTT: wear hoodies and what not all summer and suffer, like last year. Duh. :P

>>35532652
its something thats happened before, probably because i keep wearing hoodies in hot weather, including me accidentally using a long sleeved shirt yesterday lol

having slept like 7 hours over the past two days combined, and having woken up at 6 am before going back to sleep today didnt help, im sure

>>35532667
yeah it sucks. i’m already boiling and it’s not even gotten bad yet.
>>35532685
that sounds unfortunate to go through. please take care of yourself, your body is already under a lot of stress

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>>35532521
girl this sounds like a bad situation. if she knows you’re on hrt and trans and she still thinks of you as her pretty boyfriend then she doesn’t respect that you’re trans. im not saying she’s a bad person but like i think that’s a bit of a backbreaker especially if you’re fantasizing about being a girlfriend for guys a lot. i think ultimately it’s probably best for you to leave that relationship. good luck <3

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>>35532667
thats what ive been doing, and will keep doing
>>35532741
it isnt though? maybe stress from personal life stuff.
>>35532777
yeah, that behaviour is similar to my mom when i came out to her, where she like, started pointing out stuff i had in common with men in the family and shit
like, wdym by my body is under a lot of stress

unfortunately, i still have to live with her, and she still thinks i was just confused

>>35532741
>>35533007
Yeahh. At work we're not actually allowed to have hoods so last year I was in a torn up leather jacket most of the summer ;-;

I have a few jackets now that aren't as bad and don't have hoods, so it's a tad more bearable at least

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>>35533570
sorry to hear you had to suffer through that anonette :(

update on my sickness, my headache is making my eyes hurt, so im gonna go sleep for now
until tomorrow bmg

also is it illegal to post here if youre pre hrt

>>35508677
Started a diary/journal yesteray and it's really nice, I hope I make this a habit

>>35534620
cuttee continue pls! ive heard its a v gokd thing in lkng run esp when u write happy things and pavlov urself

>>35534834
>esp when u write happy things and pavlov urself
nta but I used to journal more and I stopped when I realized I was doing the opposite. I only ever wrote when I was upset

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/bmg/, I am concerned, is 5'10 tall?? I have been worrying a lot about it recently.

>>35534947
I don't think it's that tall for a tranner but you are on the upper end of reasonable heights for women. I'm 5'10 too and I feel bad towering over most women but occasionally I meet a cis woman who is my height

>>35534947
not really. people on this board are obsessed with height and unless you’re like 6’7 it’s not really going to be that big of an issue

>>35534977
how tall are you, naoto?

>>35535004
5’9

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>>35534947
depends on where you live ig
im 172 cms tall (5'7/5'8, weird ass height), and i feel like a heighthon compared to cisfems
im a bit shorter than most other guys but uhhhh

>>35534594
rest well. also i’m pretty sure you’re cool to be here, since you’re not actively trying to repress, but i could be wrong.
>>35534947
not too tall. a little tall for women but i’ve still seen taller.

>>35535043
only way im repping is like, coping because i dont have any income lol

>>35534890
yeah! my sister did the same - thus why im saying this

>>35535014
cute!

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>>35535120
wha?? >/////<

>>35535135
yeah naoto, youre pretty adorable from what little ive seen lol

>>35534947
I'm 5'11 and probably the only one here who girlmodes and no, it's not that big of a deal. Like it's pretty tall for a girl yes but there's actually a lot of cis girls that are this tall so like, people notice but it's not necessarily out of the ordinary or sus, if that makes sense? At least in America. It's only once you get into the 6'1+ territory where you're really going to draw attention

>>35535284
Me, forgor name

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>>35535264
awaaaaa

>>35532589
>>35532777
Well maybe I have shit self esteem and I'm making excuses for her but I like still see myself as a man even though I'm starting to pass and I told her she can just call me a man still or whatever I dunno. I also don't know if I get treated like a boyfriend because I'm spineless or if I have a persecution complex and I don't actually get treated that way. She does at least sometimes get me like girl clothes or says that I can present female if I want to or whatever but I dunno. I think I still FEEL like a weird effeminate crossdressing boyfriend and feel like I'm seen as a man.
But yeah, I do think I'm almost entirely androphilic, I feel unsatisfied sexually and with my relationship role really, I daydream about having a boyfriend and being able to just present female full time. That's probably not normal for a healthy relationship.
I think beyond gender stuff and romantic dynamics there's things that upset me if I want to sit around and bitch, like today after doing other stuff for her and working all day I cooked dinner and she like was whining and not wanting to do dishes and getting mad at me and I just ended up doing the dishes instead. I also sometimes just feel on edge like she's going to fucking start screaming at me out of nowhere.
I think we do love each other which makes it complicated but we resent each other because I think we're both not getting what we want in a relationship. It probably is unhealthy but just like codependent at this point so it's so hard to break off. It's lame because I recognize the flaws and recognize what I want but I also think about the good parts and the memories and I start crying when I think about it being over.

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oh man i was wigging out today. girl i know we working on thing when Man I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain came on and i got super embarrassed and probably was red maybe. and then she was like what? feel like a what? *malename*. feel like a what? but think i got out of it and played it cool. am worried people can tell but pretty sure i just look normal man. plus no way random people know anything about transsexuals either

my coworkers recently stopped gendering me. like calling my lastname instead of mr. lastname or my guyname and they go out of there way to avoid using pronouns when talking about me. like not even using they or anything. also using person instead of man or woman. it's super weird desu

>>35534947
I wonder how many people know what this picture is alluding to.

>>35535520
I wish mine would but they just say man/he/him etc. so that makes me think i definitely just look like normal average male

>>35535610
I don't think I look passibly female but I definitely look gnc enough to make people feel weird :\
customers he him me plenty

>>35535472
Ugh, fuck, that's so embarrassing, I'd be so red with such a tight chest I swear. Hopefully you played it cool. I worry that people know too, I definitely get treated differently, I get strangers calling me miss or whatever, and I've had people tell me that I like pass. I feel like people talk about me behind my back.
>>35535520
Yeah I've had similar experiences with people not wanting to gender me or whatever or making people really confused. I've also had some coworkers start acting nicer than before towards me and I've felt almost like a weird hostility from a few of them for seemingly no reason, probably because of how androgynous I look now...
Someone recently introduced me to someone they know as, "(name)'s... brother," with a super long pause before saying brother. It's like awkward as fuck I feel like people know and I'm almost making it weirder by boymoding but ugh. I get gendered both ways still and I don't have all my facial hair removed yet.

>>35535067
aw i’m sorry anonette, i hope you find a way to support yourself soon <3
>>35535284
if it’s coming from her, you should believe it
>>35535421
i understand this a little bit. it’s actually one of the reasons i refuse to come out to those i know, cause i still look like a man. it just doesn’t feel right to be treated and referred to as a woman until i look like one. i hope things get better for you
>>35535520
seems like a good thing, i think it happens when you move into the zone of androgyny and no one feels comfortable explicitly gendering you
>>35535602
…

>>35535520
>get they/themed during work training
yea...

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>>35535520
Positive change, but also a little weird. They likely aren’t sure how to refer to you anymore as you’re in the androgynous range these days. I’d assume?
>>35535421
i am so sorry. i understand exactly what you’re feeling with the worry of losing someone you’ve spent so much time with but from what you’ve said this relationship you’re in just is not healthy. i know it’s hard to accept calling yourself a girl until you look like one but the bare minimum your partner should respect that, no? and if you’re doing all this stuff for her and she’s not appreciative and you’re scared she’s going to yell at you you’re living in a relationship built on tension and fears. i really wish things get better for you soon.
>>35535602
i’ve read the manga and the anime is one of my favorites of all time, am i missing something? is it a reference to the mangas ending?

>>35535664
i was so embarrassed and terrified i thought i was going to have panic attack or something but think i played it off super well. i was just thinking in my mind there is only one way she could know for sure and that way probably did not happen, so at best she is just guessing so best way to play it off would be just be like "what?," back to her. but if she was fishing my face probably was making all kinda of weird expressions so idk. either way think is just most likely she is just trying to be funny because haha its funny for boy to say i feel like woman lol

>>35535843
>you’re in the androgynous range these days. I’d assume?
i honestly don't see it but i had a cashier look visibly shocked when i started talking with my man voice recently

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>>35535972
yeah i’d say that’s andro range territory.

its weird because ive had people do this shit to me like HRT -2years. asking my pronouns and stuff like they can smell im a tranner or something. they’ll make a point to only ask me too and nobody else ;_;

>>35536064
>asking my pronouns and stuff
i hate when people do this because it's like i don't want to out myself by asking for she/her but saying he/him feels bad too. it's like no one thought this whole asking for pronouns thing through

I cannot tell if people look shocked or disgusting or anything because i cant make eye contact and always avoid looking people in the eye and dont talk to people because im scared. idk feel like it would start being that time around now, 20 months, but idk

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>>35536064
>>35536102

>>35536102
thats because the nonbinaries whos whole thing is getting people to call them different name push for it but it is not the same for normal transsexuals.

>>35536152
sad but true ;_;