QOTT: What are you currently struggling with?QOTT2: Is there anything you're hoping for?I am going homeless in a few days and a temporary place fell through my lap BUT another place messaged me yesterday evening asking to message them soon if it may be still available. It would be only for less than four weeks but better than hostels (which may run out of cheap beds and creeps may harass you).
I'm dealing with a stomach ulcer that bled a lotBreathing and eating causes me pain. So much pain. 24/7Blood loss made me anemic and so weakI became vegetarian overnight because I will puke anything else other than small amounts of fruits or vegetables It sucks and this is the worst pain I've felt worse than breaking a boneThe only thing that makes me happy is spending time with my bf and I want to spend my life with him I hope his love can heal me
>>36662154im struggling with this massive erection and no cute transbian gf to suck me off
>>36662307Oh no this sounds awful. I hope doctors find a way to help you soon. :(((>>36662318If you continue being creepy I'll suck you off. t. not trans
>>36662154>qott 1I have been unemployed for awhile. I have been doing my best, but the job market sucks so bad right now that I have to compete with ~200 other applications per position. Obviously most of them not being autistic MtFs.I cannot afford to leave my place. I'm trapped inside and have been for some time. I want to get laser and start saving up for FFS, but that is obviously just not an option. I do not know how much longer I can take this.>qott 2Hopefully I will be able to get a job soon. I pray I do.If it is not soon, then I simply cannot bare this anymore.
>>36662154>What are you currently struggling with?my transition, mentally and physically>one day ill die peacefully or very violently
>>36662380I want laser too and also stuck looking for a job. We will make it, sister. *Hug*>>36662391Peacefully hopefully of old age.
>>36662401>Peacefully hopefully of old age.I dont think soim literally this close to breaking down because ill never be a real trans woman and there is nothing I can do about itWtf xdguess I am coping with a shitty life. i wont go into details.
>>36662154mental troubles. depression, suicidal ideation, maybe anxiety, gender dysphoria. I feel like I'll always be a (boymoder) manfor my HRT dose to increase at my next appointment
>>36662368thats fine too any hole is a goal
>>36662154>QOTT 1 being in increasing amounts of chronic pain for over an year and probably having a chronic illness that would progress very nastily if unmedicated > QOTT 2 I have a specialist doctor appointment soon where I'll probably finally get answers and get medicated so I don't have to lose my mobility in a few years
>>36662742I really hope the doctor helps you. I am in chronic pain and have been taking painkillers for three months or so every day. I imagine my internal organs are fucked. I even got blood toxicity landing me in ER once as it nearly killed my organs and me by extension but idk if it was from painkillers or antibiotics (I also had to take shit load) or else. I hope you not only remain fully mobile but comfy!>>36662424P-please don't hurt me. @__@>>36662420*Hug* I hope the estrogen increase helps you and at least solves your anxiety and lessens your dysphoria.>>36662415Wdym you're not real>No detailsI respect that. Say only what you want.
>>36662777your situation sounds horrible as well, I hope the best for you. I'm glad you survived the ER visit, even though that sounds absolutely terrifying. I have also been using painkillers pretty much daily for several months, last winter I also had to restrict my walking because my hip decided to hurt from only walking around a kilometer, was really annoying but got a bit better with the weather warming up
>>36662805My life has always been fucked but atm I have no income, no housing and health problems so it is definitely the hardest it has been, but I dealt with those before (minus no income) so I have experience. I will make it work or die trying.>scaryIs it really? I guess I am just completely numb from the stress I've been going through for months. I am just mostly inconvenienced by having to travel, pay for travel and then stay in ER when something happens. It always happens at night and I just want to eep. :/>Not able to walkNow that I have primal empathy for because I was born with pain which restricted my walking a lot and it absolutely killed my ability to function within the society as well as just being overall miserable. I thankfully got surgeries which fixed it later in life. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I hope they fix it for you. Maybe we will go hiking together someday if the stars align. Well, more spiritually than irl ofc but still. :3 In flesh we will be separate but in spirit we will march together and enjoy the nature.
>>36662829>I hope they fix it for youYeah I'm currently hoping there's not much damage to my joints, and that at least part of the pain is just my joints being weak from since I was young >In flesh we will be separate but in spirit we will march together and enjoy the natureThis is such a beautiful thing to say :3 thank you!
>>36662847I have shitty tendons which sometimes get stuck (?) and they hurt like a bitch. I don't know how your issue works but I have to have antiinflammatory stuff on me just in case. Maybe it would help you too? Ibuprofen is most easily available.
>>36662855I use both ibuprofen and paracetamol, depending on which one works currently or not, it seems to change daily. The largest of my problems is probably inflammation related, Rheumatoid Arthritis, basically my autoimmune system decided to attack my joints and give me an elderly people's illness in my mid 20s
>qottafter reading this thread nothing big, just recovering from ffs>qott2swellings on my face to go down and being off the meds i’m on now, they make me feel tired and nauseous. but that should be tomorrow or sunday.>>36662154i hope u can stay at that place, but do u have friends or family u can stay with after for a while?>>36662318unlucky>>36662380have u tried looking for temporary other jobs so u can atleast make some money? 1/200 chance sounds like a really small chance. u can still apply when u have another job but then u atleast have something until u get what u want.>>36662391will be fine in time. transition takes some time. it’s okay if u wait a bit til ur a bit closer to passing with doing things.>>36662420endos are retarded, if he hondoses u u should prolly diy hrt>>36662742hope ur doctor can help u
>>36662865I am so sorry to hear. ;__; I had periods years ago when I was bedbound for a month due to back muscle inflammation. It truly is the worst and wait times to see doctors can be daunting. I really hope your upcoming visit goes exceptionally well. Advocate for yourself and make them help you! > w <
>>36662897Happy for you for getting the surgery! I hope your recovery goes well and you love your results once the swelling is fully down.>Meds giving nauseaI had really bad one from antibiotics. You can mention it to a doctor and they can give you pills which helps with that. They're super tiny.
>>36662935thanks i already like what i’ve seen :3>mention it to a doctorit’s fine my mom got me different foods and drinks that i can eat rn and that help. my entire kitchen was full when i came back home. antibiotics even give me soft wet poop but i can quit them after sunday.
>>36662777>Wdym you're not realI dunnoI’ve grown to feel that wanting to be cute and sexy and feminine is somehow not related to dysphoria or femaleness.Like sure I hold myself from breaking down because iwnbaw but does that even matter? What reason do I have to transition? Just vague bs like the above. LikeDo I have dysphoria? How can I know that. Oh rightYou innately know. ErgoI’m just so agp/agap faggot.And idk why that hurts so much.
>>36662962The poops are awful haha ewww haha>>36663005You can want to be feminine and cute AND be a woman. Yes, those aren't inherently the same but they're very much not exclusive and more frequently than not coexist. Ignore self doubt and identities. Make what makes you happy. The labels are irrelevant. You are a flesh and mind - pursue happiness. Labels used to serve to understand, now they confuse. Reject them.
>>36663054I guess I completely forget what makes me happy. I do nothing and then blame myself. Idk I feel very lost. I had rejected labels at some point abd was happier for it. Everything was ok. Fuck what changed damnit
>>36663093Sometimes you've so much going on it is hard to be happy. Take whatever steps you find you're able to to ease your pain. Try to reject labels again. They're worthless. Worse: they actively hurt you. Be yourself and focus on yourself, on your happiness. I really believe in you. I hope I get to see an update on you, on you being happy. If I'm not around to hear of that, I'll be thinking of you and hoping for stuff to be better for you.
>>36662154>QOTT: What are you currently struggling with?recently homeless and sleeping with guys for a bed. current guy is nice, but he has a bf/roommate that idk if he wants me to leave. have a line of guys on grindr at least so have got a while at least. i should have known not to move back in with them. but i got kicked out forbnot giving my roommates enough money(300 was supposed to be my share, i gave 2k the past 2 months). then they took my hormones away cause "i didnt deserve them" fuck them and fuck my life. i will always be a honit feels nice not having the stress of being taken advantage of anymore for money. and idk if i can hope for much more than sexwork for a place to sleep(i think ugly lol, but has been getting better with weight loss)>QOTT2: Is there anything you're hoping for?i hope i can get back on hormones, and stop being a tranny. oh, and leave oklahoma
>>36663107I may have to sleep around for bed but I worry I wont even be able to find takers for that. I am sorry you're going through it. When I was homeless at 18 a guy would take money from me and I'd have to be essentially a housemaid AND he wanted sex (he didnt get any, fuck him so much, I hate people born into wealth). It is such a bad position to be.>Hormones stolenThis is so vile. I hate this so much. May only suffering befall whoever has done this to you. I hope your life turns around very soon. :(
>>36663106Life is so fuvking bizarreI feel so much better rn for w/e reason and then seeing your post is making even betterI’ll go take a nap I think the eternal tiredness won’t go away easily abd it’s my day off I deserve it.Thank you for these kind words. Really.
>>36663193You make me so happy to know you're feeling better. I hope your nap is very cozy. Cuddle your plushie if you have one. Sleep well. ;*
>>36663121>I may have to sleep around for bed but I worry I wont even be able to find takers for that.some cities and areas are better than others. and i felt the same about being ugly, but being honest about being in a desperate brought a lot of ppl saying they were willing to help. and i think they dont really care about our genders tbf, more just that were hot enough to be worth it. so going with a guy that your out of their league is kinda a good strat cause i think theyll let us stay longer.>It is such a bad position to be.i think i really lucked out with the guy im with then. plus this is a better experience than anytim ive been in a shelter or smth. he gives me clothes and it feels safe to sleep here, and he hasent asked me to do anything i was uncomfortable with yet. but yeah, dont want to continue this way of living for long.>This is so vile.im not in th right either though, i didnt know who was lying so accused both other roommates of manipulating me. and i feel bad cause im pretty sure that i was wrong when i told her that she gaslit and manipulated me. butthe guy(her husband) has lied to both of us in the past and probably did about the money situation too. idk, i think both are in wrong, but i stoked the flames>I hope your life turns around very soon. :(thank you, and yours as well
>>36663423I am glad you have a place to be, I just hate the circumstances you're under.Thank you for the kind words.>PicLooks cozy! The place I crashed in as a homeless teenager was super fucking gross. A guy literally had pubes on the wall glued by pee splatter which dried into weird piss glue. Another gross place I crashed in when homeless was in my 20s and it was so mouldy you could smell the mould at all times. I was there shortly thankfully.
>>36663216No plushies I could take to bed, i only have one childhood plushie left, so i tend to hug a blanket.I feel sad again but such is life.I just wanna do this right? So ill keep trying to transitionidkmaybe im stupid and got groomed xd
>>36662900I've luckily gotten into a habit of going to doctors appointments with my gf so she can help me advocate for myself, I'm pretty bad at that by myself haha
>>36662154>What are you currently struggling with?I will never be able to transition and live the life I want. I will forever need to repress and I will die with a name that I have never felt more detached to. It sucks because I have always knew I should be the other gender since I was a child and I had no idea what transgender even means until my late teenage years and still felt dysphoric. I tried once to tell my mom about it, and she threatened to slaughter me.I am stuck in a place where being trans is punishable by death and I have no way of escaping it because my parents hold all my documents and don't let me use my bank account. I can't get a job because to them I am only a future wife and baby maker who needs to prepare. I am naturally masculine and this has caused my mom to try and forcibly take me to laser hair removal and even tried to get me on estrogen. can't leave the house without covering every single part of my hair and body because they are so religious so going outside makes me feel like a living caricature. I just wish I was a man. I wish I could be the man I wanted to be.I have no friends and no life. I am rotting away going to my university and going back home and dealing with getting yelled at every fucking day for not being feminine enough to my parents.The only escape is death. I don't have the tools to do it myself in a way that's certain, so I have nothing but to wait for the day to come where I get into an accident or something.>Is there anything you're hoping for?There is a sweet transgirl I've been talking to online and playing games with who lives far away and she makes me feel loved. She sees me as the man I want to be seen as. I wish she could be happy forever and she will forever be safe. I wish I could be with her. I wish I could hug her and spend my life with her.Sorry for the long vent. I have no one to talk to about this. I rarely express my emotions to anyone.
>>36666540I hope you'll get a plushie soon. It has an added mental benefit making you feel cuter! Continue going on. Stop self doubting and keep rejecting labels. Make your flesh feel comfortable.>>36666667That's very good. I wish I had someone like this to help. :( >>36666795Look into Rainbow Railroad. I hope you end up escaping and can take testosterone. You are a man trapped in a woman's body and you will get out. Never give up. Continue trying. Contact RR today. I believe they will be able to organise a rescue for you.Don't apologise. Keep venting however much you need. We are here for you.If I go missing I'm taking a break I've mentioned here >>36666061I am with you all in spirit, genuinely hoping you find the strength and endurance to push through. Better days await.
>>36662154>q1A neurological disorder making it impossible to work, even a desk job from home. I can't get disability money because I live with my transphobic parents, but if I didn't I'd be homeless while being unable to work and probably unable to fill out the benefits form. I'll probably never be able to afford ffs or srs, and when my parents die I'll be homeless anyway. Also much too ugly to use sex to get somewhere to stay. Even if I were normal and healthy tomorrow, I've never had a real job and am unemployable, in addition to being clocky>q2Mostly that I get hit by a falling airplane and make the news while dying relatively quickly and painlessly
>>36662307Aloe Vera insides + water, in the blender, drink it up daily with a empty stomach (after waking up) This helped me so much with stomach pain, but you should still see a doctor and treat it with medicine
