last tiem:>>37052400qott:what's the worst thing you did and what made you do it?
>>37057898>never, id like for it to not happen againNah trust. I can fix you. They call me the therapist in these streets
>>37057923fisrt
>>37057929it's you're
>>37057929>>37057923jesus fcking christ
>>37057929No.>>37057931Yes.>>37057940Thank you
I told a trans woman I liked her because I am gay and like feminine men.>what made you do itI am gay and like feminine men.
>>37057941don't trust those two by the waythey lie
>>37057913if you still feel joy then your not ready to become involved with me>>37057923go ahead and try stupid girl youll give up or die like the rest
https://voca.ro/171IosOkJwMcreposting for the anon who asked for a voca just because it took a long time to record
>>37057954and why should i trust you?what gives you credibility?
>>37057964you shouldn't
>>37057897>qottI hid my hrt usage from my wife for the first 11 weeksWhy? Fear
>>37057897I posted a cis woman in chasergen once, man those trannies and glug chasers were ready to lynch me
>>37057954I truth. Only.>>37057957I already did endgame fixing tasks on a earlygame build I'm absolutely the one that could do it. Yep. Or fuck you over heavier but you know its all about the intention
>>37057953that's not even bad tho>>37057952welcome
>>37057897>what's the worst thing you didFell in love with someone who didn't love me back>what made you do it?Years and years of self-inflicted mistakes that ruined my life a shining beacon of hope came to me. Charming, funny, brilliant, talented, and absolutely gorgeous beyond comprehension. I had never met anyone so relatable in my life. Someone who shared a story so similar to mine. Similar passions, similar desires, similar energy.What made it all fall down, considering I had met the love of my life? Many things. Although, I made the mistake of falling in love with someone who only cared about my looks. She pretty much told me that she only dated me because I was hot, and resembled her favorite youtuber. That was a real shock to my system. I had never fallen in love with someone who didn't love me back. A few key events later and she ended it. I had never felt such heart break in my entire life.Time moves on, however. I can't wait for eternity for someone who forgot about me an eternity ago.
>>37057994i kinda want to pee in public
>>37057994>Fell in love with someone who didn't love me backAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>37058016hey at least it's not in someone's bathroom floor after a really drunk party
>>37058029ughh couldnt be me . number one rule for me is never like anyone unless they like you. and so far no ones liked me so im ok >>37058046:3
>>37057994thats awful im really sorry :(
I have become cow
>>37058075(shrug) Thank you, but I really can only blame myself. I obviously left out a lot of detail. There's many reasons it didn't work, many reasons why she didn't feel the same way about me. Oh well, at least she seems to have forgiven me for my behavior in the past. I was very emotional, borderline unstable, before I got the help I needed as well as years of self-reflection to build upon that.I'm actually gonna see her next month. Likely just for a brief moment (or at worst, just being used for a ride to a show). It's not the best form of redemption, but it's something. I'm always happy to help (although I'm definitely asking for gas money this time if I really am just giving her a ride)
>>37057985you need to beg for me, i dont enjoy deception or corruption i enjoy opening the door for you to become ruined by suffering and walking through it holding hands>>37057990no a fucking clue what that means sorry i only know knives and lies and violence
>>37058094how long has it been? that sounds quite painful. im going through a similar situation and really cant imagine wanting to ever see her again
Moo>>37058102You need to read between the lines anon. You truly don't get it. I bet I'd 3 star you with time to spare
>>37058085>cow>not even fat-_-
>>37058139egokys
>>37058135what>>37058139i genuinely dont know what that means it sounds like gamer speak and im not a nerd
>>37058141You can't see the belly but it is there. Feels bad. I think I fucked up the fasting at some point or ruined my metabolism w poor sleep. I will have to do something about this asap>>37058153:D>>37058161Gamers like me are so discriminated.. truly this society ruins one to the core>>37058165You have enough on your plate missus.
>>37058085>has healthy levels of fat for a woman>self-describes as cowI'm sorry for the harm society has done for profitHave an adequately looped GIF from today
there's a lot of this going around
Should I start out with pills and Spiro? Or just get cypro and injections?
>>37058186lol what are you doing there?
>>37058127By the time I see her again, it'll be exactly 2 years since she checked out (which was 2 months before she ended it). I was a lot different back then. I'm sure she's a lot different too.>cant imagine wanting to ever see her againI used to be desperate to see her again, but after a while the mourning ended and I was left with an empty space that no one has been able to fill since. I'm hoping seeing her will provide some kind of closure, at least. It ended pretty badly. It affected me a lot more than she probably realizes. I still don't blame her, I basically chose to not take the breakup well. Something I'd never do nowadays with this new.... outlook on life, I guess.Although, I do miss her as someone in my life. At the time, she was my favorite person in the world. Being friends with her would be a stellar outcome. Although I highly doubt I'll ever bring her butterflies ever again.I recently started using tinder for the first time since early HRT, something I thought I'd never do. Guess who I matched with? Her. Obviously, I didn't get my hopes up. I haven't even messaged her. Although matching with her? It at least shows she doesn't physically recoil when she sees me.If she can forgive me, maybe others from my past can forgive me. There's a lot of people who left me behind when I was in my darkest era. It hurts, everyone I loved left after I transitioned. This girl was the one who put hope in my heart, made me realize that life is worth living. Even post-breakup, I still credit her to essentially saving my life. If I never met her, I probably would have committed suicide back then. Obviously, I don't "need" anyone in that way anymore, I found my own reasons to live. I just wish it didn't cost me everything to find myselfI had a really good life before. Took it for granted. I'm never taking anything for granted ever again, which is why I'm going to cherish the moment I see her in person again even if it's for a short moment. It may be the last.
>>37058202Slam ballA cathartic mix of light shoulder and core, with HIIT
>>37058185Seems we're gonna have to put you on a diet then.>>37058186I'm at 24 bmi rn which feels horrid. I used to weigh 100kg at 5'1 which gives me severe image issues over weight and my brain panics if I see myself not being at a low weight (22~ bmi)
>>37058165thats what they all say. tell me what it feels like to open your flesh with a razor, tell me who youll kill for me>>37058176good, video games are a worthless distraction from the pleasures of earthly suffering with your fellow woman
one cock wasn't enough to glug, make it 2 babe
>>37058209I feel like doing that to my cat sometimes
>>37058214I kinda wanna smash your head against concrete for a solid 10 to 20 minutes what are we thinking>>37058227Chill
>>37058228the blood is absolutely heaven.... cute. and who might that be>>37058233with what? your scrawny little gamer arms?
>>37058213Honestly? Understandable. It took me a really long time to dismantle my fear of food and gaining weight when I went from 170kg down to 78kg at 5'9"Shit sucks, and decades of marketing, media, and asshole doctors don't help, nor do some of our local bullies, lolFWIW it seems like a fairly standard effect of hrt is a small accumulation fat near the region a uterus would be
>>37058253I'm strongOr at least was.
>>37058227...are you puppy drowning and mouse dislocation anon and forgot to drop trip?
>>37058260It helps me keep my weight decently healthy so it's not that bad. Though I'm unsure if the stress makes it harder to go lower in terms of weight too>>37058265Gonna have to start puppygirlmaxing then
>>37058258good me neither thats immoral and only the worthy deserve to have a sublime suffering end>>37058262was? lol
>>37058286I'm going to bite your flesh off anon
>>37058308Are you illiterate by any chance.
>>37058301another reason im not sure your ready for me you have a lot of work to do and a lot of begging>>37058303hot can i sharpen your teeth with a file first?
>>37058265nooooo. I love my animals but sometimes I feel like crushing or smashing them but it's an intrusive thought so I ignore it ofc.
>>37058339Why not
So rereading this confirms it for me, I think this is the best run of any story DC has told in my lifetime.Story is great, the voice is spectacular, and the art is gorgeous
>>37058208at least two years is a decent bit of time, i hope it doesnt hurt as bad as it used to. thats confusing she would match you though is that not somewhat giving you a false sense hope?
so BOREDthis gen sucks for real
>>37058352>>37058353well goodbye im going to cut a lot and get a lot more wasted nice talking with you
pain
>>37058405At least share a pic or something
>>37058407erm no
>>37058355
i have white russians and a bottle of mudslides and I am drinking them and it is 4pm
>>37058376>at least two years is a decent bit of time, i hope it doesnt hurt as bad as it used to.It doesn't hurt the same way, it was likely going to end eventually. I just wish I didn't manifest the worst outcome. I easily ruined that relationship>thats confusing she would match you though is that not somewhat giving you a false sense hope?She made it pretty clear that she doesn't like me romantically so she probably matched me because we know each other. This upcoming event isn't the first time she's reached out to me, the last time she did she *wasn't* asking for a ride, but basically said "It's okay if you show up" which to me is a sign of forgiveness. I haven't gotten my hopes up at all, I'm just glad I'm possibly no longer viewed as that thing I was back then, whoever that was.
Y'all can't compete with this giga nigga supertranny
>>37058414dont get your hopes up>>37058415
>>37058475La criatura
god i miss ex bff so so muchwhat if he stopped talking to me bc he was into me but insecure in his sexuality so he just cut me off so he wouldn't have to confront not being straight
>>37058517just knock on his door its not hard
anyone wanna kill meu got consentit's free real estate
>>37058516This is zhem now. Beware the hsts shape shifter, you have no chance of survival..
>>37058464if she didnt make it clear that she only wanted you for your looks and let you fall that hard for her, i wouldnt say that you ruined it, it sounds more like just miscommunication and if anything her sort of using you? idk im sorry i hope it goes well
>>37058517gwahaha
>>37058560>i wouldnt say that you ruined it, it sounds more like just miscommunication and if anything her sort of using you?There's a lot of layers to it. Trust me when I say "I was a complete mess back then" but I get what you mean. I didn't see it as using me.>idk im sorry i hope it goes wellThank you!
>>37058546no that would be a bad idea>>37058569therapist suggested it and i highly highly doubt it but it's a pleasing cope to think about
>>37058531i dont care much for posting it doesnt hurt like real life does>>37058550yes
>>37058508Never said drawn ones
>>37058558I might be salivating a little but I won't confirm
>>37058583why?
>>37058607bc it would be stalking for one thingplus he isn't actually interested in me so it wouldn't go anywhereit would cause both of us emotional pain presumablyit could only go poorlyhe's not going to marry me
>>37058645giwtwm ugh
>>37058583hard to say isn't it? i mean he was from a tough background where being gay wasn't accepted, and made you a target, that it?
>>37058645Disgusting
>>37058640yeah but u could be friends just ask if he wants to hang out
>>37058594its better if you just imagine me, our flesh will never come in contact >>37058645god fuck thats so hot
>>37058654>i mean he was from a tough background where being gay wasn't acceptedidk his family probably would've been ok with it i thinki mean im a boomer and being gay was something you got bullied for as a kid, but he never got bullied for it so idk if that even would've been a deterranthe's probably just straight>>37058666i could never tolerate being just friends, i am deeply in love with him beyond anything i've ever felt for anyone else
>>37058645ginger detected EW
>>37058667Nvm too much mental illness for me to handle after seeing what I wasnt imagining I'm good
>>37058645Don't do that
This is why u never go for crazy bitches. Never. Mistakes are the only thing possible with them. It's like a good looking sandwich with an "extreme radiation" sticker put on it's box. Just don't do it
>>37058678Straight as a maiq arrow babe
Anyone here got experience with Mosser for BA? The before/after photos don't seem horrible for results but experiences would be helpful.
>>37058683>>37058722lol if your not even down with cutting we wouldnt last a second, dont pretend to be a bad bitch if you just a pussy>>37058706very inspirational :3
>>37058722and its rotten to its core
>>37058735You mentally ill freaks think you're special or better than others for disgusting them with your actions, ridiculing how they "can't handle it" and you can, but all you are is a bum with mental illnesses that make you harm anyone that's bothered to ever be in your life and you, somehow, convinced yourself that self harming is a good and super hot thing actually that everyone should do and if you don't you're a lame normieYou'll never go anywhere in live, continue to harm anyone and everyone near you and ruin yourself to an irreparable point, though your brain might start working one day and make you realize how much of a retard you're beingYou're not special for being the worst there is
I might've gotten a little miffed but I had to say it.
>>37058735I told you
>>37058788https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ttz09151sQ
>>37058807Ur good, cutting is gross AND notice how none of them ever cut in secret, the point is to show us what they've done to themselves
>>37058645yes, also booba time
does your hometown do smth like thishttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/Ms8sQEQNDhY
>>37058788BASEDcut fetish freaks are NASTY (kat, anya, so called "bloodgang", etc.)
>>37058760omg reallyyy me too ill post in a minute :)>>37058788genuinely lmaoing at you rn you just spent like two hours flirting with the fact that ive pushed people to die>>37058815told me what? whats that?>>37058819its not for you little baby its for each other
>>37058815I swear if you don't shut your mouth I'm going to do a full refund on the small amount of peace I've allowed you>>37058819Yeah. But ridiculing the unaware mentally ill won't do anything, it's kicking someone while they're down but holy hell is it annoying when they try to punch higher than they are>>37058831Now that's more my style>>37058839Sure. I bothered to entertain one once and I've enough with that to know it's not worthwhile, not the people nor the "kink'
>>37058850Then do it on discord and not here
>>37058896Yeah I'm just gonna cut you off before you do more mental damage to me
>>37058858>Small amount of peaceHardly
>>37058831MOOMY
>>37058589>yesplease hurry then
Patience trust and forgiveness are purely harmful values from what I'm seeingNeed to up my self respect a bit more instead
>>37058831can I join in
>>37058967I told you not to cut nigger
>>37058969Those who snap chats
>>37058995Bdp duh
>>37058969tit fraud
>>37059008Yes, its mentally ill unhealthy behavior to tell someone not to cut and that you'll stop talking to them, have them do it, forgive them, have them do it again, forgive them and then give up by the third time. I am oh so sorry. I should've called it quits before the first attempt at caring
>>37059016You two seem to get along very well, you're both awfulBut not awful enough together apparently
>>37059029Never again
let me flow...
>>37058969yes please, we're not boring are we?
>>37058831ease that zipper down about 4 inches and upload another pic pls
Shame I hate you both but you did seem good together
>>37058967>>37058995>>37059016No, I think your behavior here is fucked up and gaslighting someone to try and make them think they're mentally ill for being against self-harm is the kind of shit your diaper is supposed to keep in so get a better brand your current one stinks
im getting hard in mtfgen :7
>>37059050Shut the fuck up diaper baby
>>37059072You are the worst poster
Like I said I'll try to start respecting myself more. I've found people that aren't complete asses now both irl and online so it's kinda retarded to even entertain these kinds of people now. Throwing myself under the bridge for others never goes anywhere but to harm me
>>37059080i see attractive boobs i get horny, sorry
>>37059094Oppai piggu go homu
>>37059087No idea who you are
you wanna control what i do with MY BODY? ok chud
>an*a so but hurt she filtered d**p*r
>>37059071i just thought anon would appreciate seeing some bloodbut have a meltdown over it if you feel like it im used to this by now
>>37059102Ok but I'm taking bread with me and impregnating her with babbies
>>37059108No you wanted attention and to stir up shit because you're incapable of letting things around you be pleasant because you are unpleasant so everyone else must beFuck right off and take your self-harm shit back to your discord
>>37059111Bread if I was your man, i would breed you 18 hours a day
>>37059117none of this is true and you should calm down
groomercord pedocord bloodcord diapcord manyacord
Actually ridiculous I get emotional over a friend harming themselves and they put the blame on me. Genuinely absurd. Someone cares about you enough to mind if you're physically harmed and the moment you see they're disliking it you do more and then ridicule them by saying "it's my choice" about hurting yourself? No shit it is. It's anyone's choice about what they do to their body. But it wasn't mine to care about you and have to cry because of your words. I rarely do it and I feel like a worthless shit for bothering with someone like this. It's always "never again" but holy hell the cycle just keeps going
>>37059060
>>37059129>drops trip and resumes gaslightingDid your trip get clapped rightfully by janny again?
>>37059063unsee cc/album#6qsfnWMSdCJG
>>37059113I wish you many fat babies
>>37059137im sorry i didn't mean for it to hurt you it is not like a bad thing to me its just a vice its like smokingbut im sorry for hurting you i didn't mean to
>>37059142*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
>>37059154Fuck off
>>37059146im not fat and bread isn't either, our babies will be so powerful
buy drugs online and get caught, and honestly it kinda fucked my life plans, no jail but I doubt I'll be able to move with my American girlfriend :(. I hate myself.
>>37059167what kind of drugs?
>>37058896woaaahg very hot but yeah i get it have fun :) heres something in return i didnt go to big im going to the pool tomorrow dont like my cuts getting infected>>37058944wonderful image come over and ill doll you up like that
>>37059171dewd WEEd ;)
more drawing dodlenot great but it's better than nothing right>>37058831hows your husband
>>37059196why ask that?
>>37059196ur getting a lot better at clothes/eyes but yeah in general faces are still off
>>37059161im sorry i really didn't mean to hurt you>>37059178cute tbdesu
>>37059201idk if i had a husband i would feel guilty about posting such pics online>>37059214thanks desuone step at a timei'll just blame it on the autism/face blindness :^)
>>37059196master allows it
>>37059222>masternice digitsalso nice to have a husband to refer to as masterughyou're living the dreem
>>37059247I'm just drunk. post your rifle pic, represent
>>37059302ugh let me find it
>>37059347Kat, BA when?
>>37059347who else would kill you if not a weird bitch.. i get it have a nice life
>>37059380larry>>37059384holy cringe
>>37059418giga cringe
>>37059347nice : )>>37059418see that's cool
>>37059347>>37059384>>37059418who is this woman?
>>37059374soon >>37059380don't trust sus anons for obvious reasons
>>37059380i like weird bitches
>>37059455those are different people
>>37059473oooh
>>37059456yesh obv dont be reckless>>37059470no you dont, no one who has ever told me that wasnt lying
>>37059482why would i lie to you
unsee cc/album#MwKcSSq739tF>>37059456u will be unstoppable
>>37059491why not? its what everyone else does because they know im gullible ashit
why i gotta come in on boob talk
>>37059494so this is the power of 10 years of hrt...
>>37059513isn't it better to believe in me though
>>3705952410 years of spotty hrt + anorexiait is over for ALL trannies everywhere
>>37059535skill issue
>>37059501It's gone :(
>>37059166fat babies are healthy, the get less fat later on as long as you dont feed them too much
>>37059582bro kill yourself
>>37059592But Bread has large bazonga
>>37059582begone rapeman
>>37059418Wow that's sad, paige
>>37059582fuck off ur creepier than nomi sometimes holy shit>>37059603lasagna tier sex pest
>>37059582fixed?
>>37059607wait why is that sad
>>37059617Nice
imagine getting angry at people looking at other peoples boobs with their consent lol
>>37059627why are you even here
>>37059645idk I never lurk anymore just felt like it today and fortunately there were boobs
>>37059622Why is that a gender bent g'raha tia dressed as a postmoogle, being cuddled by the wol?
https://unsee cc/album#HcNhXPpnapqeI have no tits
>>37059638Shut the fuck up drippy britches
>>37059622it's not. the one with your legs is better tho
>>37059638ikrreal "i consent, i consent, i dont" meme energy
>>37059671>cutterEw, damaged goods
>>37059531i couldnt believe even if i wanted to im so beyond ruined... she promised me everything in the universe everything i never even thought was possible for myself but she was lying the whole fucking time
>>37059661he's not genderbent, they are gay and it's cute>>37059678yeh but i don't want jannies banning me rn>>37059689cope
>>37059673'pamper' me Daddygive me 'huggies'>>37059680even im not that much of an incel
>>37059689I fell down and burned myself on my hair straightener and loose razorblade collection when trying to take off my daipy
>>37057897Going to Sam's Club, anyone want anything?
>>37059704I got image banned kek
>>37059748one of them robot pizzas pls
>>37059777Robot pizzas?
https://ovarit.com/o/Radfemmery/597268/this-is-who-s-calling-you-a-terf-most-of-the-timelmfao
>>37059701im sorry anon i can't promise any of those things but i can say im not a liar
>>37059785stop invading women's spaces creep
>>37059800but I am a woman
>>37059804prove it DNA test NOW
>>37059704I agreeI love wol x raha
>>37059797its ok im sure your not but it will all be over soon and i wont have to think about any of them ever again
>>37059784yea, robot pizza
it's like a sofa with a few extra inches
>>37059826everybody is saying what is a woman but what they should be saying is what is a human
>>37059845way too much sauce
trans women are women
>>37059835what if God thinks you haven't suffered enough
>>37059880god hereidc
>>37059883your not god
>>37059865RECALIBRATE
>>37059880ive been praying a lot and i think it seems clear that i have, but if not then it will have to become clear quite soon because i dont know what else could happen. everything has already gone up in flames
>>37059748my dad to actually love me and not just pretendto not be mentally illno more c/ptsd symptomsmy ex best friend to love me and want to be with methe ability to experience joy or happinessthe ability to form lasting relationshipsa place to live by myselfa way to support myself financially without being a burden on my familyto work as a game developer/writerto not want to kill myself regularlymy parents and sibling to be happyour dog to be happy and die painlesslyto not have to worry about financesa reason to live other than sheer survival instinct>>37059829i don't know much about ff14 i just got that from a /cm/ thread but they look so so happy together and it makes me happy
>>37059893no but you should try to patch things up with goona, I dont think its ok that she was ready to drop you like that but you're both better than thisor not idc I hate you both desu
did something happen to miaq?
>>37059921>reason to live other than sheer survival instinctthat's at the base of everything. when things get raw, no matter how many boxes you've ticked that's all that remains.
>>37059939sometimes I wonder if its the same mike I met on discord>>37059946living that way long termm sucks tho
>>37059921watch out if you don't have a sams club membership card all of thats gonna cost a lot probably
>>37059939same thing that happened to pain
>>37059994i hope the next to mysteriously vanish is me
>>37059921Raha loves the wol so much he waited 200 years for them to be back in the same timeline and tried to sacrifice his life for them only to end up having them both saved
>finally get meds>get too anxious to do the injectionbruhi'll give it an hour and come back to it>>37060034ugh cute cute cute
BA is basedSRS is based Become bimbo
>>37059921>my dad to actually love me and not just pretendDon't hold out for that one, they become more recalcitrant as they age
>>37060050this desu
For fucks sake... SHEEN! You can just eat, I don't know... A fucking apple? A glass of water? WEIRD idea! And I know already, now you're going to sad post "boo hoo, nobody likes me because I've had" - no, nobody likes you because you FUCKING DON'T IMPROVE ONE. FUCKING. BIT.Ever since I've been here in 8 fucking years when my life went to shit, and I crawled out of the gutter over and over again, you have been here eating shit all the time, putting your fucking money towards a fucking graphics card. Because you know, that's exactly what you need right now. A fucking graphics card to sit more on your fucking ass and play fucking video all day. While shoving fucking burgers down your fucking hole. Right? Fuck.I'm trying to like you, quit making it impossible. Please. Like a fucking clockwork. Sheen, nobody is fucking angry at you for posting about fucking foods. People are angry at you for wasting money on graphics cards, video games. Fast food. A car, as I've been recently told. Instead of you selling the car, getting some fucking vegetables. Eating your fucking veggies, drinking some fucking water for once in your life (without added sugar I might add) And I don't know sell your fucking car get a fucking bike.Like, yes, you are depressed. Wow. 90% of us are fucking depressed. 90% of us have some fucking mental issue we deal with. Yes, we are here to support you. But you don't want support. You just want a fucking pity party. About poor old fat sheen. Who will never be liked. Nigga You look like a fucking middle aged woman. And you do fuck all with it. It's infuriating, it is sadOh, and I'm not done yet. Sheen. We've been over this for like, how many years? Like fuck? I've been fucking pre op. I had a fucking dick when you started posting here. And what changed? What did you do in all those years? Fucking nothing.You did nothing. Despite people constantly offering you help, offering you advice, constantly offering you to do shit for you and WITH you.
evens do injectionodds do it tomorrowdubs :((((
He's not banned. He actually talked about paying the site staff to get other people banned, he's the biggest pussy on this site.
>>37060114
how do i drink more when my tummy doesnt want to :( i usually can stomach a lot of alcohol but lately i barf before getting anywhere near drunk enough to forget
>>37060152Stop drinking please, you're damaging your stomach
>>37060196i know im trying to kill myself over here duhhh
I have been doing like shit since I got out of the ward I don't wanna get into it but they did not treat me great in there, and life has continued to treat me badly so I got a big duck to make it better. 30 fuckin dollars but he is massive
>>37060135i have decided i will wait until tomorrowim too stressed out bc my mum has a friend spending the night and hearing them talking in the room over is spooking me outshe's leaving tomorrow anyway so it's not waiting longi just don't want to try, be too anxious, fuck it up, and then make it harder to do next time
>>37060206Why? Drink some water please, i have family members who've drunk themselves to death and it's no way to go, worse than you think.
>>37060235is that duck a pumpkin?>>37060237ah fair enough then, probably best to do it when you're relaxed so you dont hurt yourself or something
>>37060250Yes he is a pumpkin
>>37060256based
AAAAAAAA I HEAR THEM TALKING ABOUT ME
>>37060225:/ theres nothing left to lie to myself about, no one left to lie to me about caring for me>>37060241me too and i also have some who shot themselfs and the ones that drowned in liquor made less of a hurtful impact on the family sooo thats the plan i do drink lots of water to avoid hangover and whatnot but yeah just cant ever forget the guilt and the screaming and the lying and the promises breaking
>>37059501ugh premium hopeful ughhh >>37059582unlucky :^)
>>37060271I have trouble with guilt too, it eats away at me and has forever, but as someone who just survived an overdose attempt you rly don't wanna kill yourself. Especially not the way you're doing it, you'll be like me down on the ground slowly dying and regretting it. I got lucky n was found b4 I died but u might not be so lucky
>>37060296>survived an overdose attemptwas it an overdose or an attempt lmaohow are the scars doing btw
>>37060271Please stop, it doesn't matter how you kys the pain your family and friends will feel is the same. >just cant ever forget the guilt and the screaming and the lying and the promises breakingEveryone deserves a 2nd chance, and so do you
>>37060312It was an overdose I got through two and a half bottles of pills and thought "I feel fine" n then I hit the ground and started spazzing out and puking up foamFine ig healing well
>>37060329what kind of pills
>>37060296>>37060324ive ODd before too been in the ward before it all just made me worse made me more sure theres no other path for me ive known it would end like this wheni was like 10 or 12 i been giving myself second chances my whole life and every single time it ends with somone elses blood on my hands it needs to stop
>>37060340Two bottles of ziprasidone and the third was trazadone which won't kill u but will get u rly high n that's what I wanted when I didn't feel the Ziprasidones effects and then it all hit at once and made the first three days of surviving incredibly awkward because I was incredibly high and tired and scared out of my mind, I couldn't form coherent sentences
just abuse your discord janny powers and "opps ya I'm a gangstaaaaa I got opps" zoomer nigga speech and you feel better in no time :))))
>>37060366how did you down two and a half bottlesthat's a lot
>>37060357You're friend didn't kts because of you, they were troubled as well and didn't get the help they needed.
>>37060404Idk lmao I didn't feel the ziprasidone for like an hour and thought fuck it I'll get high insteadAnd then it all just came crashing into me at once. Ngl I shit myself, I was a fuckin mess
>>37060420what if for some people such help doesn't exist
>>37060420no they did i lied a lot and knew it would happen and did it anyway
>>37060431no i mean like that many pillslike did you have to drink a ton of water too?
>>37060437idk, i don't want to think like that because if I do, eventually it'll be me trying to kms. so even though i don't know you or you're circumstances, i feel like i should care about you as a person, as other people have done for me when i was down and wanted to sui. I'm not as good at giving advice to help someone, and I'm pretty fucked up too but I'd hope you can find peace with the events that have led you to where you are right now, and cling to any sliver of hope i could possibly give you.
so excited to attempt suicide after ffs when i dont have to worry about anything being pulled for being a suicidal bitchhopefully ill actually get the job done and rid myself of this dogshit planet
>>37060472holy shit lmao
>>37060470>>37060486This was meant for you, sry.
>>37060477I was just popping them into my mouth by the handfuls no water, I come from a not so proud line of overdosers so I'm built for it it's what killed my dad
>>37060486>>37060507thanx i apreciate it ill be around for a while tying up loose ends if nothing else
only way out this bitch is suicide
>>37060535Don't fucking kill yourself
>>37060535also sorry i know ipost hurtful things and i dontthink other people deserve it so yeah im sorry
The overdose and failed suicide suicide and everything that followed after in the ward is probably the most traumatic moment of my life don't try to kill yourself, there's a chance you could survive and be fucked up for life like me it's not worth it
>>37060545real shitcant waitgenuinely
>>37060556its not me its the alcohol it the way i was raised its the unforgiveable things ive done its the way she looked at me i can never ever stop seeing it
>>37060579what happened in the ward? make any friends?
>>37060623Abuse that's what happened, 8 days of physical and mental hell. But yeh I did make a few friends
i bet this is hell and its just a repeat of this life over and over again for eternity
i ate too much againneed to hire a bodyguard for my kitchen
>>37060660i like totell myself if i confess ill go to heaven but yeah your probably right
well would you just look at the time its alcohol and cigarettes o clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(1/3)>>37057897>qottStart a relationship with someone I knew was already in a dedicated relationship. I did this twice (and attempted but failed once). The failed one created an air of distrust that still exists today and irreparably damaged my friendship. The second severely hurt the dude who was cheated on, and the girl in turn hurt me pretty bad later. The third drove the guy cheated on to become suicidal (he lived, ultimately). My relationship with that person survived and we're still very close.Why? Severe loneliness to the point that it overpowered my morals and logic. I felt like absolute crap each time, but for some reason it seemed like the only way I could get the kind of attention I needed was by pulling on people in ailing relationships. All 3 of these incidents happened over a decade ago, but the mental scar of being a homewrecker lives on in my mind. Which is subtly ironic considering the thing I want to air out in this anonymous space.I've been together with my husband for about 10 years and have been transitioning for about a year. We're raising kids together and he's pretty financially dependent on me (in spite of my best efforts to set him up for success). He's verifiably bi (I know one of his exes), so naturally gender shouldn't be an issue. But since I've started transitioning, his interest in me has flatlined. When I came out it started to taper hard (multiple times a week to maybe once a week then once a month) and once I started hormones it dipped to 0. I noticed this, but as E did what E does, it became more of a non-issue. When I queried him about it, he said he thinks he might be ace - but that he can put out if I really need. (But the idea of someone doing that because they're obliged and not because they want to is a HUGE turn off to me).
>>37060738(2/3)Fast-forward about a year, my libido hits rock bottom around a 9 months, no erections, no horny, nothing. Not too bad, though physical touch in general has also become not a thing and I desperately need to cuddle. I make do, and the relationship is otherwise fine. After talking to my endo, we decide to start me on P. Pretty good stuff, it fixes my sleep (after decades of struggling with chronic insomnia that didn't seem to respond to anything). My mood brightens even more and I feel a serious NEED to make friends for the first time in my life. I start branching out, both IRL and in online spaces and meeting people. He becomes noticeably jealous over this. I reassure him he's not at risk - I don't think either of us could survive without the other. Then P plays its first trick on me: predictably it brings the horny back. And it is unceasing and ravenous. I'm crawling out of my skin, I NEED to be touched in very intimate ways. I tell him this DIRECTLY and he just... stares at me, like I've said something dumb. What the fuck ever, dude. I figure out how to push my own buttons over a couple of months - it soothes but I'm missing something, I need it to be someone ELSE'S hands. I put this aside, it can't be if it won't be him.Not too long ago I met a really awesome trans lady as part of my whole branching out schtick. Maybe it's all in my head (I'm the anxious type who has trouble believing someone would like to talk to me...), but we connected really fast. Lots of shared interests, plenty to talk about, varied conversations, talking about the ups and downs of life. I'm genuinely EXCITED to see their messages in the mornings, times I would normally sleep in. I want to do more things with her - it starts eating up the time I normally spend with my husband. He knows I'm talking to one person in particular now - it annoys him. I... kinda care less than I normally would.
>>37060596That's very heavy stuff to sort through, and I don't know the particulars of your relationship. You should talk to a professional about this. How did your friend khs?
>>37060749(3/3)When she doesn't respond for a while, it starts to eat at me, I worry if I said something wrong or if I've started to bore her. I try not to let my anxiety show.I should reiterate that I've known this person for an exceedingly short time - less than a month. It's right around now that P plays its second, third, and maybe fourth cruel jokes on me in pretty short succession. First, I start finding my idle time overcome with fantasies of this new person in my life. Like, of all the people for my touch-starved brain to latch onto, it couldn't be any of my long standing good friends - it had to dump all the horny thoughts on this stranger... so now I'm trying to hold regular conversation while mentally grappling with the fact that I have been actively fantasizing about this person. I REALLY don't want to creep em out. At one point I try to fight this by thinking of my husband... only to find that I can't... and not just him, dudes at all. Did... did I turn les?? To my great frustration I have only been able to get over the edge when thinking about women. Fuck. The fourth trick is that my idle mind starts turning to romantic fantasies... about this near stranger. In times of idleness I find myself spaced out, lost in them. When I snap back, I feel wrong. This person's nearby. Could be closer with the way my life was already going (may be moving soon). I, irrationally, want to see them in person. Not even for horny reasons, I just do. This person could be an axe murderer and my stupid lizard brain is like "yea that's the risk to take". Just to chill and talk about games and music and life and stuff without there being a screen in the way.I feel like I'm going all the way out of my mind. I LOVE my husband and our little family means everything to me. But I feel like I've become so touch starved that it's making me irrational. I've never felt like this, I don't even know what to do with myself.I don't expect a rational response here. Just screaming
>>37060660samsara is great
>>37059903why not have a bit more fun before you go>>37059938its entirely up to her whether or not she wants to interact with me
>>37060660das why u cant kys because then ur doomed to repeat
>>37060782maybe you can both learn a bit of empathy from this experiencedoubt
>>37060756lolllllll bitch if i said one word if this to a professional they throw me back to the ward immediately and pobably criminal charges>>37060782i dont remember how,, the only thing left in my mind is blood and tears and rotting dreams
survival instinct is a bitch when u truly think about innitlike i genuinely cant think of a reason to actually not want to kill myselfim 31 and a fucking faulure. i cant even attribute it to being raised a failure anymore. i had all of my 20s to get my shit togethermy immediate family doesnt support literally anything i do, inside or outside tranny related shitwe live with three people in a 2br where my mom sleeps on the coucheverybody else in our family abandoned uswe barely make rent each monthim ~3 years away from finishing college and i cant even have the comfort of knowing ill be in this general area in 3 years from now so i have to worry about transferring colleges on a yearly basismy only actual attachment to this life is the fear of the unknown and what is not existingwhat a cursed existence, truly
Wow talking about the od and the ward really fucks me up haha my hearts racing I'm shaking and I feel so afraid lol. Maybe too soon, oh well, point is don't try to kill yourself seriously that whole thing was rly awful and fucked me up bad
>>37060814mood>>37060823message dakota if you can or take a break maybe
>>37060823sorry im sorry to be upsetting i never want to hurt ppl in that way and im glad you made it out and thx for talking with me im goingto stop posting now and goto bed
>>37060836I've talked all about it to her, she knows everything except for the details of how I felt during the od because she reasonably didn't wanna hear about that. Granite Hills Hospital is a rly awful place and I hope none of you ever get sent there
>>37060862You're all good it's just hard to talk about, I know shit seems dire and hopeless but ppl will miss u when ur gone. You know how heartbroken I was when I got my phone back after the ward visit and saw all the texts from ppl who thought I was dead? It hurt a lot
>>37060814It gets better. https://youtu.be/iTFrCbQGyvM?si=kqEbLMbw9NS-1c4D
>>37060863but still talking to her might help you relax, preferably not abt the ward if it makes you feel this waysorry if im not being helpful, if so then just say and ill stop
>>37060880omg T___T
>>37060885She's offline rn>>37060893Yeh the texts from my gf hurt the most, was just sitting outside the ward crying and feeling like a massive fuck up
>>37060910T_T im really sorry thats horriblei feel like such a fuckup too i get it
>>37060965>rest in peace my princessWill be a phrase forever burned into my memory and it will bring me to tears every time. Really was the worst moment of my life, don't make the same mistake I did
>>37060437I wanna die.
>>37060994i really am trying not to... im so sorry thats so fucked up
>>37060823stop lying
ya'll need to get laid fr
>>37061130Fuckin tell me about it
>>37061130shit dont even matter nomore
>>37061065Yeh, it can rly fuck you up snd leave you scarred for life both mentally and physically >>37061087I'm not fucking lying it was literally the worst 8 days of my life genuinely fuck off
I'm a month away from hitting 2yrs on hrt. Did anyone here have any significant changes from year 2-to-3, or is it pretty slow progress from here?
>>37061262lol thats primetime change time
>>37061276Oh for real??I've been incredibly lucky up to now so I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much.
>>37061300if you already had lots of shit change then maybe not, but for me it was yeah. spiro and oral e for a couple years then got on prog and gained a few pounds which helped a lot. and i think my face was the main thing that changed after 2 ish years
>>37061300>>37061328but also keep in mind its like minimum 8 years or somesuch until things really stop changing, its a long game
>go to therapy today>She tells me I have classic big sister syndrome and keeps going on and on about how women tend to take up certain labor and they get so good at handling the female labor that it becomes automaticShe doesn't understand that's impossible as I was male socialzied
>>37061255you lie about everythingyou exaggerate everythingwhy would anyone trust you
>>37061415she's just yasslighting you
>>37061415Trans brains etc
>>37061130Uhh yeah help me
>more diap tripsA third discord hit the wtc?
>>37061130I didPlug and strap with partnerA good time was had
>>37061480wait how do you now that was a diapershitter>>37061487>partnertrans?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=_hf2D7X4AJE
>>37061328Okay gotcha. Idk I don't see the changes that much but (not a brag, just for an idea) I started male-failing occasionally around 4mths. Then it seemed like things might've slowed down or even reversed slightly for another 4mthsI definitely confuse people now or if my hair's sitting right, I male-fail until I speak to anyone that didn't know me previously. No one that doesn't know about my transition has mentioned anything eitherSo ig so far it's heavy subtle changes of that makes sense?I definitely wouldn't mind my face rounding out more.Some decent hair regrowth and I'm a 32COkay fat distribution. I'm thinking about staring pio on the 2yr mark for a few monthsAlso I do understand it takes many years. I'm just having one of those night y'know? Thanks so much for responding <3
we hole postan? https://youtu.be/ZdJlkxMnvyo?si=Lhtbx3Sx9E0XlVF9
>>37061715>violetone of my favorites
im bored
>>37062095trip on pring
*glug glug glug glug glug glug glug*
>>37062045lmao
what happened to kate
>>37062203greener pastures I hope
>>37062318No need to srs, there is no shame in having a little princess wand
im over here stroking my little princess wand
>>37062375i got lotion on my gock im over here strokin my shenis
>>37062318https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDoch-IcN6k
Shoot I be jerkin my queen peen spraying spherm at the walls
>>37062431im bout to splooge my girlgoo out from this clitty my doll dong bout to burst
>>37062446for real pham ive been gooning gum from my gock for the past 7 hours
i want to move to japan
my phone died and wont rechargethis is like 9/11 all over again
new>>37062842>>37062842>>37062842
missed my chance because am unlikable schizo with a death wish
