I'll start first. My AGP came from my mom. But she's hardcore christian so the situation at home turns to hell. I don't know if she's the AAP or hsts kind tho.

sometimes i wanna brawl a bunch of guys

>>38451708
>Who's the repper in your family?
my mom because my dad wanted to have a tomboy gf lol

>>38451866
What's your mom like? Accepting?

Have you ever considered being an effeminate gay man instead of trying to become female?

>>38451898
sometimes i feel being an aesthetic guy is an ok compromise but i'm straight

once you start getting off to being insulted is that like the end of 'repression' for a fetish nigger

>>38451879
>What's your mom like?
Bit more malebrained than the average woman, had a kinda bad relationship with her in in my teens but now it's good
>Accepting?
She'll never know that i'm a repper

>>38451708
Me
>>38451898
That wouldn’t make anything better at all. I’m dysphoric about my body not fashion or whatever

>>38453045
Your body determines who is attracted to you.

>>38451708
damn fucking up the thread title in >>38434572 caused a thread split sorry jannies

>>38453066
Okay??? What’s your point? I don’t ever want to have sex or form romantic relationships as a man anyway. I wouldn’t mind staying a virgin for the rest of my life, I just wish it was in a body I could be comfortable in.

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>>38453141
some things can never be forgiven

im 7 years on hrt and wish i kept repressing.
i havent come out to anybody, i never started to pass and i could afford ffs if i liked but know i wont because i love being miserable

>>38454541
>my life sucks
>therefore I wish it was even worse
I don’t understand this mindset at all

>>38454614
how is repression worse than permanent manmoding?
Both have the same outcome aka being a man

>>38451708
I am, came out twice to family when I was younger. i repped enough to detrans and manmode

>>38454614
When no one in your life is supportive then eventually you stop fighting

>>38454620
Do you not experience visceral repulsion to the physical and mental effects of testosterone? Even just waking up every morning with your face covered in disgusting hair and man oil feels hellish for me.
>>38454647
I can completely understand why someone might give up on socially transitioning, but why you need support to hrt manmode?

>>38454748
I was 17 when I started hrt I don't really know what it'd be like to detransition and repress.
But I've never experienced what it's like to be a woman either.

Can you imagine how it feels to live your entire adult life as a weird in between blob constantly trying to avoid discomfort but also being desperate to connect with other people? Surely repressors get that just like me. Surely you understand me better than passoids can.

>>38451708
>>38451798

>I'll start first. My AGP came from my mom. But she's hardcore patriot so the situation at home turns to hell.

That's my situation. Idk maybe i can relate. But it's seems like all of my family members who's alive repers.

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>>38451708

>>38455321
No i'm into women, one more reason to rep

>>38455321
Yes.

>>38455321
Sometimes I imagine dating my friends if that were the case
no homo

>>38455412
Because I’m not interested in getting fucked like a faggot.

>>38455412
nta but because I wouldn't have a meltdown over how gross I look in bed

>>38455321
Maybe

>>38454817
Well for your sake I hope you never know what that’s like, even if it means you’ll take what you have now for granted. I’m very jealous, but I can’t blame for not knowing about something that you never had to experience.
> Can you imagine how it feels to live your entire adult life as a weird in between blob constantly trying to avoid discomfort but also being desperate to connect with other people? Surely repressors get that just like me.
I can imagine, but I can’t entirely relate. I’m far from looking in between unfortunately. I’m just treated like a tall scary looking man with distant eyes, since that’s what I am. I’m kind of lonely I guess, but I actually go out of my way to avoid connections with other people. I hate people communicating with or even acknowledging what’s basically a mask with nothing behind it, it feels uncomfortable and inauthentic. I go days without even having a conversation with another person, and those conversations are usually my parents checking on me out of concern. I don’t think being alone by itself bothers me all that much though, at least in comparison to everything else. It might even be kind of comfy if I was in a body that I didn’t constantly feel revolted by.

>>38455321
Yes, I would be more open to dating women too (though I do lean more towards men).
I’m not open to dating at all if it’s in this body.

>>38455431
(cont.) I don’t really do sexual fantasies but I fantasise about this quite a lot it somewhat frightens me

>>38451708
I don’t think he’s a repper, but my tranny genes are clearly from my dad. Is there a relevant difference between repper and carrier, specifically, do non-repping carriers even exist?

>>38455650
> specifically, do non-repping carriers even exist?
That’s how rare diseases that get passed down genetically typically work

>>38451866
same lmao

>>38455721
Thank you for saying the useless typical rule, which I clearly already know of to be able to use the word carrier, but the question of whether there are truly asymptomatic carriers vs entirely symptomatic individuals who have but do not act on the condition, ie reppers, still stands in this case

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Did rape change your sexuality? First time as a kid it made my a gay bottom. Second time as an adult it made me want to be a cis women and get dicked down by trannies.

>>38455753
You’re welcome!

>>38455650
I thought this condition came from low T brain development in the womb during a critical stage, well, I suppose but no one has a clear answer yet. Maybe it is all just psychosexual shenanigans.

30 next year

for some reason i feel completely calm right now
i even started cutting myself and i didn't feel anything. just kind of blankly staring at the wall

>>38455793
>still can’t answer the question
loser

For 2025 my resolution is to stop being a repper. That's right, I'm just going to be a man and be normal, live a normal life, watch sports and pay attention to car makes and models.

I suspect my dad may have had AGP tendencies, he an hero'd shortly after I was born and apparently was unusually feminine for a straight guy.
>>38455952
Fellow zillenial repper. It's over for us.

God I feel like this is the only place I can vent.
Parents are middle class and I'm in college. But I still feel like my world is crashing down. I don't think I can survive in the real world.
My mom always gives me the talk about how I can never be a woman when I get home.
Being AGP sucks.

>>38455946
This is a new explanation on me but ofc uterine hormone exposure is hard to study and I really don’t think anyone has a clue about this lol

>>38451708
I have suspicions about my dad but I'll never know

>>38457775
I think he has the transgender gene but doesn't express it or something

>>38457534
Why would you tell your parents that you’re a repper? Especially if your mom is such a bitch

pondering my exit strategy. im so exhausted & broken

bumpy

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN!!!!!!!!! YUHHAYAY

>got easytouch needles for injections
>came in pack of 10 instead of individually
should i even inject with these

>>38461970
you’re still at it? At this point the entire board has told you to just do it.

>>38462129
yeah i have everything to inject i just don't know if i do it today tomorrow or sunday
probably tomorrow or tonight idk

i wish i didn't have a crippling fear of death

wish i just wasn't born. a lot easier on everyone

Are there like, other places to talk anonymously about this, this board isn’t really doing it for me. I know it’s kind of stupid to ask here but you know. I want to figure out who I am and how to accept myself.

>>38462633
this is the only repper space i know of
there's a couple of dead(like actually dead, 0 new posts in 2 years level dead) repper subreddits.

you could maybe vent on some tranny subs but they'll just tell you too troon out even more aggressively than the ones here.

>>38462897
Yeah that’s the issue, those reddits self select for people who were unable to cope. I am not quite sure if I fit in that category, because I honestly cannot even make sense of my feelings yet as they’re really complicated.

going to do what's in my power to hold on. not commit suicide. i can't inflict that pain on the family i love so much.

>>38463195
kys bro, your family doesn t care and will move on pretty fast, you are just a pussy that is why, be honest, if yoi werent such a pussy disappointment on your family maybe you would kys actually

>>38463376
shut the fuck up Larissa, get off this board

>>38463383
It's okay. I know why Larry acts this way. I've been there myself. Sometimes trying to project the pain via malice at least externalises it. Doesn't justify it but I get it.

>>38463383
haha no, kys you subhuman, you are already dead fucked anyway, what? are you scared of some rope around ya neck? what a baby, you will do it anyway hahaha

>>38463399
no it is not ok, you are still breathing, kys

>>38463399
they needs to take an internet break and see a psychiatrist, I don’t think they enjoy this at all nor does it help.

>>38457123
>expecting a question that would require PhD level research to have conclusive evidence for answering with, based on a hypothesis that transgender behavior is a carried trait, to be answered on a chinese basket weaving forum

>>38463479
I think it's just very compulsive. Gives a brief distraction to pain. It's a sad thing the suffering that this existence has, what it drives us to do.

>>38463526
for the sake of the other anon I have to point it out so they don’t take it seriously.

>>38463583
I've been similar. You have the power to change your behaviour.

>>38463552
Yeah

>>38457806
I was at the end of my rope.

I would prefer to be born female instead of becoming female later on. How do I cope?

>>38464347
The latter is a way to cope with not being the former

>>38451708
My mom and my dad, the tranny gene has to be present on both sides to be inherited

So how much does autism fuck with this? Could it cause me to ‘trick’ myself into believing I’m trans?

>>38464347
Every tranny wishes they were born female, raised female, socilialised female. The ones who say they don't wish that are lying. Unfortunately it's not possible so we have to cope the best we can. Some of us troon out. Some of us repress. We can never just be happy with what we have. The human brain is flawed technology.

i am in pain

i still cant find the courage to kill myself but i'm starving myself and self harming a lot
if i have to live like this i will make sure i suffer as much as possible

>>38467279
why do you feel the need to hurt yourself and not others? i remember in the past feeling the need to hurt myself also but it was mostly 50/50 with either that or feeling the need to hurt others, nowadays i mostly feel the need to hurt others bc i grew to hate them, don t you also grow to hate them and from self harm slowly but surely progress to wanting to mostly cause harm to others when you suffer?
does the pain not change you?

>>38467396
i really don't want to hurt anyone else, one of the main reasons i want to kill myself is because i've hurt so many people

>>38467461
i really doubt you hurt anyone in a serious manner, you just feel too sorry abt stuff that is not that bad bc you have a lot of empathy, really horrible people that do actual bad stuff don t feel sorry like you, that is why they are able to do bad stuff in the first place

>>38466538
doesn't really matter if its autism or not

>>38467729
it doesn't even matter if it wasn't horrible, ive hurt everyone ive ever been close with and ill keep doing it because there's something fundamentally wrong with me
if I were to die people would be glad even if they didn't admit it because i only cause pain for them

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why is tumblr mocking me

>>38467833
you must be a lesbian, maybe there are other trans women lesbians in that group (probably it is only trannies), you should join uwu #lesbians #girlygirls #nomen #womenlovingwomen

>>38454541
i need to figure out how to keep my mind made up to keep repping instead of doing this. i broke and took hrt for a month and a half several months ago, but i quit because i was starting to see breast growth and realized people were going to notice if i kept doing it. i would never pass. i'm 6'2" 200 lbs with big shoulders and a masculine face. i'm trying to convince myself based on the time i spent on hrt that it won't fix anything that actually matters but the brainworms like to come back. at the very least, at least gay men will like me as i am now, but they all want to focus on my dick when i talk to them and stuff. i hate living like this.

>>38451708
just spent a half hour staring at myself in a mirror with no particular thoughts in my head. would love to know what my brain is up to at some point

i am too depressed to work or function

once again i am longing for death

I need a haircut. I have agpcurls past my shoulders now. It looks like shit but it helps with the dysphoria. I want to enjoy it for the last few years I have left before my hairline situations becomes truly terminal.

>>38469785
Working is overrated why contribute to a society that ignores you at best and despises you at worst. If I ever get fired I'm just gonna live of savings until they run out then kill myself.

>>38470584
based but i ran out of savings and i didn t kms, and i can t kms bc my brain is a faggot..

maybe if i hurt myself really bad i wont have to go to work today

What are some tools and methods to repress sexuality? I've been on nofap for nearly a week now, and while I'm confident that works, I feel as if I need more than just my own personal convictions to prevent me from being bisexual.

i'm too scared to inject

>>38471794
you can do it anon. what is it that you can lose

>>38471814
i could mess up the injection, get an infection, or the vial itself could be contaminated

i don't think i can do this

>>38471825
I believe you, just throw it away it’s over. You’ve been on this for years. This is some phobia you clearly don’t seem able to overcome regardless of how much counsel you receive.

>>38471842
>You’ve been on this for years.
not really i've only had the hrt for a few months
but yeah i've been thinking about it for years
>This is some phobia
is it a phobia to be afraid of injecting random chemicals that reddit and 4chan told me to lol?

idk i have everything in front of me atm. the needles, the vial, the wipes. if i don't do it today i probably will throw everything away
i'm probably not even going to transition lol i'm probably just gonna take it like once or twice then keep repping

>>38471866
If you don’t trust this board why have you consulted everyone on it? That’s not rational, you’re actually looking for assurance and consolation, this means you’re overwhelmed by fear rather than rationally informing yourself.

>>38471898
>this means you’re overwhelmed by fear rather than rationally informing yourself.
there's not much more i can do to rationally inform myself about the risks of diy subq estrogen injections
all i can go by are the self reported tests teahrt sent to the analysis labs, anecdotes from reddit and 4chan, guides on how to inject subq, and hoping that injecting whatever is in this vial is not going to kill me

>>38471931
I stand by what I said.

>>38472006
idk, this is repgen for a reason

>>38472295
Wouldn't bother with hrt if I was you.
I've taken it my entire adult life it does nothing.
At most it reduces any further damage but it can never turn you into a woman unfortunately.

>>38472325
Why continue taking it though

>>38472325
>Wouldn't bother with hrt if I was you.
maybe not long term but i have something to prove to myself tho
i've spent all year whining about how i'm a pathetic loser and coward because i'm afraid of estrogen
what happens if i throw everything away now that it's right in front of me
idk i feel like every single risk i'm afraid of is super low but i'm still trusting internet strangers with chemicals in my body in the end, and that's a very, very fucking weird spot for me to be in

>I've taken it my entire adult life it does nothing.
where did you get it from

HRT does nothing but reduce sex drive and since horniness causes dysphoria via the AGP pathway it makes you think it stops your dysphoria.

>>38472348
I can't stop, it has been 7 years and my testes have atrophied to nothing.
>>38472357
Most of my time on hrt has been bathtub chemicals from the internet, I don't even wipe the vial but i haven't gotten sick yet.
Part of me wishes I would so I could die but I'm too pussy to hurt myself.

>>38472402
maybe youre hondosed

>>38472402
>Part of me wishes I would so I could die but I'm too pussy to hurt myself.
it's very very difficult to successfully an hero in a peaceful way

>>38472423
I inject the right amount of the overdose level Lena juice
>>38472439
I don't plan on doing it, my ultimate goal would to be restoring comfort as a man so I could live that way.

>>38472402
>Most of my time on hrt has been bathtub chemicals from the internet, I don't even wipe the vial but i haven't gotten sick yet.
hm if you're on lenajuice people say that's less sterile than teahrt but again this is all just shit iread on the internet

>Part of me wishes I would so I could die but I'm too pussy to hurt myself.
i used to self harm and do a lot of reckless behavior but i turned into a pussy with age
i'm scared and want to live a good life

>>38472470
Lenajuice is less sterile yes but I am alive.
Injecting is scary the first time, I suppose if you don't plan on long term use you should give it a try.
I don't recommend transition though, I would go back in time to stop this happening to me if I could.

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Here is your TL;DR on gender transition so you can get started as soon as possible.
Stop being a chud.

BILLIONS.
SHALL.

TROON.

What should I expect as a MtF?: https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-estrogen-hormone-therapy
What should I expect as a FtM?: https://transcare.ucsf.edu/article/information-testosterone-hormone-therapy
How do I know I have the mental illness gender dysphoria?: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/
What to know to do it on my own?: https://diyhrt.wiki/
Where to buy bathtub estrogen?: https://astrovials.com/product/estradiol-enanthate/
How do even I know bathtub estrogen is safe?: https://transharmreduction.org/hrt-testing
Where to find other stuff?: https://hrtcafe.net/
Testosterone is more difficult to get a hold of because it is a very controlled substance, unlike estradiol. The difficulty will vary greatly depending on your geographical location. I'd pay a visit to the local gym and ask the gymbros there where they got their testosterone from.
For all else you can ask /hrtgen/ on the catalog, make a thread on /lgbt/ and post on /r/TransDIY on Reddit.
"I'm AGP. Am I valid? Should I troon? Yes, if you have dysphoria. I don't think it's a good idea to transition purely out of a fetish. Seek guidance on /r/askAGP. It is full of dysphoric AGPs such as yourself. Same for AAPs: /r/autoandrophilia.
"I'm a low quality male without dysphoria and AGP. Should I troon out?" Yes, definitely. If you are short, ugly, autistic and unfit for being a man in general, no amount of self improvement will save you. Transition now if you seek a survival level of dignity and quality of life. You aren't fit for male social roles and will likely kill yourself if you don't transition because your life will be miserable as a man.

>>38472567
Post ffs on the right and still has to anglefraud to pass LOL

>>38472587
Shut up you whore

>>38472523
>Lenajuice is less sterile yes but I am alive.
i'm also paranoid about other stuff especially injecting like what if there's fent or something bad in there

>Injecting is scary the first time, I suppose if you don't plan on long term use you should give it a try.
i'd be treating diy injections as a trial run before going for a prescription
better to try on my own before going through the entire medical system

>>38472591
I have been on hrt long enough to know that it is worthless.
Stop trying to ruin these poor people's lives for your fetish.
>>38472603
No point putting shit in it because they make more money by not killing trannies.

>>38472567
Transitioning is a cope to deal with childhood trauma.

i wish i could be the kind of repper that quietly suffers with a "oh well it would have been good" rather than spiralling into a living nightmare

>>38472638
what other cope is there. so what? you people dont propose another solution

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>>38472659
I don't have to propose a solution to be correct. I'm just saying the truth that goes unspoken.

I actually am here because I realize my feelings match up with transgender people but I seem to have incorporated them in a metastable identity and I’m scared of it breaking. I don’t actually feel bad.

>>38472691
How? I am not sure, very used to suppressing any desires I have. Have done so since childhood. It’s my natural state.

>>38472669
fuck you then

>>38472567
nigga looks soft

>>38472669
whats wrong with a pet gnome and having something to eat with coffee

>>38472638
But did childhood trauma cause trannyism or did trannyism cause childhood trauma?

you are just troons, no childhood trauma, no agp, no grooming, no other bs, stfu

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>>38472567
t.

>>38472996
nah I'm AGP as shit lmao

>>38472996
Larry your opinion changes every other post.

can we finally agree that the female sex is the best sex?

>>38473186
welcome to being emotionally unstable and mood swings, my opinion changes based on what emotions i feel

>>38472615
>No point putting shit in it because they make more money by not killing trannies.
well idk what the fuck happens now because i just injected

>>38471445
Bumping this.

>>38473226
Sorry anon.
I remember my first time taking hrt, I had so much hope and it didn't take long for that to be crushed entirely.
I hope you can desist rather than go down this rabbit hole.

>>38470896
can't believe i'm on the same life track as this guy

>>38473238
>I remember my first time taking hrt, I had so much hope and it didn't take long for that to be crushed entirely.
as long as i don't end up dying or in a hospital i'm happy i managed to do it once

i just want to know what it feels like. i'm not sure if i have the mental strength to do it again
i want to keep injecting hrt and manmode but i'm a coward afraid of hurting myself or the social repercussions

>>38473388
you should be afraid, deeply afraid sis

I have 33k USD how do I spend it in a way that will make my repbrain happy so I stop having iwnbaw thoughts

>>38473584
virtual reality setup lol

>>38473584
Likely not possible

>>38473584
pls some money my way, my uncle is a priest and maybe he can pray the tranny thoughts away, he is really gifted and in great connection to god, he only needs a small sum of a few thousands and you are cured!

>>38473619
and mines a nigerian prince

>>38473584
hrt and ffs

>>38473640
does he have a bbc though?!
my priest uncle is kinda into that kind of stuff..

>>38473559
afraid of what

>>38451708
please take your pills, retards

anyone channel their repression into art

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>>38473929
There are pills that help you repress things thougheverbeit.

>>38473957
incorrect

>>38473748
larry what

>>38473929
i literally just injected an hour ago
idk if i'm gonna do it again tho

>>38473937
I create shitty software instead

>>38473963
Correct. I've been using escitalopram to help repress my bisexuality. I'm sure it could help others repress their sexual and gender related issues too. It works for me.

>>38473929
I take my repression pills which allow me to be happy without castrating myself.

>>38473983
post github

>>38473985
that's... not how that works, you're just ablating part of your personality on a temporary basis

>>38473987
what pills? are you happy? if you're happy what are you doing here and what are you repressing?

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>>38473987
>happy
anon....

>>38473997
Escitalopram targets the root cause of my bisexuality, my depression, therefore it helps me repress my bisexuality a lot more effectively than just toughing it out. Combined with nofap, which I just recently started doing, I am essentially asexual, erections have gone back to pure maintenance mode. And it feels good, I feel good, and I wish I'd done this a long, long time ago. Maybe it'd work for people repressing their gender dysphoria? Idk.

>>38474029
you know nobody buys the pimozide bit anymore, right? doesn't matter if you dress it up

>>38474041
>pimozide
Escitalopram is an SSRI, pimozide is an anti-psychotic. If your bouts of gender dysphoria coincide with depression, like my bouts of sexual arousal did, maybe anti-depressants are for you?

what is your repper fantasy? want to a maid to a noble woman who gives sloppy toppy

>>38474056
it was kind of a joke, sorry, but you're parroting the same rhetorical structure (and lack of reasoning) used in anti-trans discourse that leans on a 50 year old case study of a single psych patient whose cross-gender desires were reduced on anti-psychotics

bisexuality is not a symptom of depression, anon, you can't honestly believe that can you?

You can't even study alternative treatments for dysphoria anyway. If you did everyone would call you a transphobe, then you'd lose all your money and become an academic pariah.

>>38473937
i would really like to, but trying to force myself to sit down and focus on something like that is so difficult

>>38474066
I had no pre-pubertal same-sex attraction, and early on in my puberty I was exclusively attracted to females. It was only as I developed depression, itself brought about by my autism spectrum disorder, addiction to pornography, and low social standing as an unattractive male, that I found myself attracted to other males. If bisexuality can't develop from depression, explain my circumstances.

>>38474104
you're advocating conversion therapy, dude, they tried that and it doesn't work

>I want to convert my gender
>WOOOOOO
>I want to convert my sexuality
>BOOOOOOO!!!

>>38474117
Attempts at conversion therapy were both entirely religious and entirely unscientific. If it weren't social suicide in the secular world, I'm sure a method to control or eliminate unwanted sexuality could be developed.

>>38474132
This is consistent? In both cases it’s your mind that is immutable in this.

>>38474318
Your gender and sexuality are both immutable. Not consistent :)

>>38474117
i didnt try it yet, why they had to close it :(

Thinking about detrooning since I just turned out worse than before but since I have tits now I feel like the damage is already done. I can't afford to get them removed and even if I did I would have poon scars

>>38474853
i wonder if being clocked as a pooner despite being the opposite would affirm anyone lol

>>38474350
Nah, sexuality can absolutely be changed, if just six days of nofap after a year of anti-depressants can turn me from a chronic masturbator into what is effectively an anti-sexual asexual, surely there are methods undiscovered that can change sexuality much more effectively, and with differing results.

i thought about it a lot and i realised that im not actually a human being at all, i must be some sort of creature attuned to a world nothing like this one, although i don't remember where
unfortunately i am slowly suffocating to death in this horrible place and there's nothing i can do about it because im not meant to be here

>>38474104
i think youre onto something. most reppers started having dysphoric thoughts at the same age for the same reasons (autism, depression, porn addiction, unpopularity) despite no childhood gender-nonconformity

>>38475311
most AGPs have seeds of AGP in their childhood though. imo the "development of bisexuality" is just the morphing of AGP.

I think a lot of bisexual men are actually AGP. So many of them "top for women, bottom for men" etc.

>>38475353
any expression of male sexuality outside of missionary with the lights off is AGP

>>38475353
My pornsick wanted me to stick my dick in men and women.

>>38475486
what kind of men? big hairy men or slender fem twinks?

>>38475311
i'm also sorta kinda like this by not having any pre-pubertal attraction at all, but i only developed attraction to other males and none to females, but i am similarly an autistic, kinda depressed, porn addicted, and had been unpopular sort of person up until part of the way through high school. i don't actually recall childhood gender nonconformity, but i might not recognize instances of it. i guess i did kiss a boy on the cheek when he wasn't looking when i was like 5, but idk entirely what my motivations were

>>38475493
Are those the only types of men in this world?

that hairless patch on my thigh is starting to get little hairs popping up

>>38475311
>most reppers started having dysphoric thoughts at the same age for the same reasons (autism, depression, porn addiction, unpopularity) despite no childhood gender-nonconformity
I fit this archetype but to this day I'm still not sure if AGP contributed to these things or if I'm AGP because of them.
'Tis the curse of the malebrained repper.

>>38475595
similar situation as an asexual. i could be asexual because of bottom dysphoria (trutrans). or i could dislike my reproductive system because im asexual and think genitals = sex = bad (not real dysphoria, faketrans).

it's basically impossible to figure these kinds of situations out as a repper. by the nature of repressing something, youre not exactly gonna be great at self-reflection

>>38475595
or a mix of both.

i will NOT be using pseudoscience to explain my suffering sorry

>>38475998
Your suffering is a pseudoscience. No accredited institution would put resources into studying it because of the political and social climate. In such a case as yours, only the snake oil sellers and anecdote tellers can provide relief.

there is any case of a repper dating a cis gay guy here, I only know of one that mentioned it many months ago

>>38475998
very agp of you to not want to use pseudoscience

>>38476065
or i could just choose not to defer to outside authority like a coward???

>>38476128
You’re a practicing pseudoscientist then.

Once you accept yourself repressing becomes easy.

>>38476410
But to accept yourself you must understand yourself first no

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About to pop this movie on right now.
I don't consider myself a repper these days, but I had a phase 3 years ago during college years that I was really into trans stuff and wanted to be a girl. I grew out of it though and stopped caring, though I'm still active on lgbt and am a chaser.

What am I in for?
Will this movie turn me trans?

I don't think we're ever getting the magic technology that perfectly makes you transition successfully...

>>38477612
I wish we had technology where we could easily transition back and forth between Chad and Stacy. There are days where I want to be both

>>38477406
I'm interested. how long was that phase? Did you have any similar phases before?

>>38475499
i'm technically on hrt now i guess
idk if i should inject again next week tho

>>38477656
Idk sometime around 18-23, though looking back there were def signs earlier, though I never thought of them that way.
I remember it began when I watched a bunch of AMVs and started feeling funny and melancholic and a feeling I couldn't explain. There's a bunch of other little things I won't get into, but I suddenly became obsessed with the concept of trans. I would stay up late at night shaking and terrified, "I don't wanna be trans I don't wanna be trans make it stop".
When I was in community college, my whole family left me home alone for like a week, and I used that time to cross dress and LARP as a girl. Then when I went away for college, I cross dressed nearly every day since I finally had more privacy. This includes jacking off while imagining myself as a girl and other gay shit (all in private). I also larped as a girl online a lot. I made plans to like move far away and start a new identity as a woman so no one would ever know the old me.

Then idk I just grew out of it or something. I don't really care anymore, though imaging myself as a girl is still hot sometimes (but so is imagining myself as chad).
Idk if I'd still call myself a repper. Im 25 now so it's not that long ago I was still crossdressing.

its over. i dont know why but it's over.

>>38476410
Im 29 and this is easy now lowkey
You can be a tomgirl
The concept exists they call it femboy now trannies will try to cancel y for it
Picking up masculine hobbies/jobs like a bouncer helps if you're built

I'm so lonely bros. Everything feels pointless if I don't have anyone to share it with.

crazy that yesterday I was very suicidal but now I'm just chilling. I gotta look after myself

>>38451708
every other day, I get the itch to privately CD, 3dge or hours, than have clarity. How do i quit this addiction?

>>38479804
i feel too guilty about talking with anyone, i don't want to force myself on them. but yes it's so horribly lonely

>>38480448
you can't get rid of the desire. if you want to reduce libido maybe take dut or something

>>38480558
>desire
If it feels like a giddy blissful endorphins rush anticipating & seeing oneself CD, does that sound like agp, or something else?
>dut
Can I get Dut online?

I get nothing out of CD. Maybe I'm faketrans?

>>38480669
yeah it sounds AGP. What does this change though?

You can get dutasteride online. Eg inhousepharmacy

>>38451708
I have a cousin who is an open theymab with a wife and kids

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Has Troonjak contributed in any way to your decision to repress?

>>38477853
Hopefuel honestly, if someone can get this far gone and recover I might have a chance. Then again my thoughts seem to have existed for my whole life in the background of my mind rather than being an episode or tied to sex.

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>>38480780
troonjak is an honest worker, kind of inspirational

>>38480689
>yeah it sounds AGP. What does this change though?
No one would ever believe me that i am agp. I don't fit AGP Twink femboy brocoli hair stereotype. Imagine if boxer Andrew Golata had AGP. Thats me in a nutshell. Therefore i am forced to cope on my own. I just want this pain to stop.
>inhousepharmacy
Can it clear customs w/o issue or will they seize?

>>38480830
> I don't fit AGP Twink femboy brocoli hair stereotype
Lol AGP can occur in amabs of all shapes and sizes.
Yes it can pass customs, but i'd suggest checking on HRTgen. In my country (UK) it gets through fine

>>38480529
you'll need to practice doing things that are kind to yourself despite how they initially make you feel, else you'll just spiral.

https://youtu.be/Lvs-3446llc

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what's the fucking point man

i need a job

>>38480806
Hecking hero he is I tell you.

>>38480923
No you don't

>repper meme folder is 41 mb now

>>38481071
post some anon

>>38480671
i cd'd yesterday after a month
was feeling kinda pent up now i feel a little relieved

>>38481043
yes i do, i have been unemployed for almost two years

>>38481493
lol rookie numbers

>>38480671
I stopped doing it because it makes me feel gross and just highlights how repulsive my body is.

>>38481548
it feels so bad :(

nearly 33 and I've never been employed

being a man is nearly being a cattle

>>38477406
where can i even watch it for free

i hate my father

>>38482328
Are you on disability? Otherwise get a job lmao

>>38483010
No :)

i need attention

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>>38451708
I don't know if anyone in my family is a repping tranny or even gay. But I do know that we all seem to be varying degrees on the spectrum, and my great-grandfather (my namesake lmao) seems like he was turbo autismo, despite being pretty successful and well-liked

>>38482328
how do you even earn money, live? do anything?

>>38483215
I live with my parents and they pay for everything. I don't do anything and I don't leave the house.

c'est la vie

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just realised why the pinkpillers are so effective. its that honeyed offer of being accepted. when you think at it for more than a minute you realise its bs and that some retard on the internet you've never met maybe doesn't know you or what you need very well, but its so tempting to believe them.

>>38483221
thats a great idea, but what will you do when they die?

instead of being a whiny reptard, buy some oxy, weed and crank to heal your soul.

life is so meaningless and animalistic when you're a man, no wonder the suicide rate is so high

>>38480909
yo whats your favourite Lamb cut. Anaesthetist has one of my fav Hackett guitar lines

>>38483282
>but what will you do when they die?

Take my inheritance and live in a van.

>>38483317
version on the album? back in nyc
live would either be any phil era in the cage or the waiting room from headley grange

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>>38483369
Dont think I've heard that Waiting Room version you refer to but In The Cage is really transformed when Phil, arguably a better singer sings it. But as good as it is there's a really evil feeling in the studio version, that means its my fav version. Peter really excelled at adding that tinge of existentialism and horror onto songs I think, its why I love a lot of his creepy sounding solo stuff.

Also hope you're feeling better : )

i'm not sure if i want to keep taking estrogen
i mean, i do, but i don't know if i should

>>38483822
>that Waiting Room version you refer to
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjc0D-sOEVc
and yeah, i'd say that for songs that both singers did, peter sung them as if he was in the songs themselves, and phil sung them in a more disconnected / cheeky way.
and in the case of in the cage itself, phil turned it into a half hour long medley celebrating prog in all it's bombastic glory (most noticeably during the american leg of the invisible touch tour when they played apocalypse in 9/8)

>>38484658
Listening rn. This is proper nice. did you ever see them on that last tour they did? I had the chance but bottled it as I thought £120 was a bit much to justify. I regret that now, even if they were probably far from the top of their game, it would be worth it to see even a hundredth of the musicianship they used to have and say a proper goodbye to the guys.

The way I see it I wish to have sex with men as a cis woman and women as a cis man. Ultimately I can never be a cis woman and trans is just a bad imitation, and the hrt does negative things to my health and drive, it's simply a fools errand. I will just stick with being a cis man and pursuing women. It's what I truly want and can achieve. Even though I probably could pass more than most trannies here, it's simply not enough and I wouldn't pass enough for myself and I would be throwing away everything in life for something that will probably never make me truly happy. I think if I find someone who loves me I will be truly happy.

>>38484877
>did you ever see them on that last tour they did?
no sadly, i live in the opposite side of europe from any shows they did during the last tour, and the closest date during the turn it on again tour was ~10 hour drive away
i also hadn't become conscious yet in '07 so yeah, i haven't seen any rock concerts in my entire life

need this job

>>38451708
I come as a missionary of the Order of Aphrodite. As a preamble, Sisters, I remind you that the wages of repping is death. When you hear the call of the Mother luring you to her, make haste to follow. There must be no ado.

Please, Sisters, I know you are desperate, I know you are hopeless, but I assure you that the light of the name of Beauty shall illuminate even the darkest of hearts. Please, consult me below in this subthread.

If you need assistance in your journey, please, join us.
https://discord.gg/PpKvrdscCx

Praise be to the Mother Aphrodite, may all Sisters Heed Her call.

>>38485568
Damn, a young Genesis fan. what got you into them? weirdly I always see a lot of prog rock fans in agp circles, wonder where the connection is.

I would recommend visiting smaller venues and seeing some bands that play genres you like. its a good experience.

>>38485729
joining a cult of porn addicts and cutting your balls off, what could go wrong?

>>38480780
He’s just a gross caricature that highlights how nasty masculinized body traits can be. Still looks disgusting with or without the flag shirt. If anything seeing stuff like that makes me want to flee from masculinity even more than I already want to. Trooning wouldn’t work for me though so the only way to really flee is by acking

>>38485757
Why do you anger so, Sister, much less in response to Love.

We are, merely, Sisters united in Faith. United under the name of Love and Beauty, and in a common effort to emulate the Divine Feminine.

I come here to preach not to promote any surgery, no! Many Sisters chose to keep their genitals, and others choose to have them transformed. SRS and Orchi is merely another optional step in transition.

And you and the heretics dare to say that we cut off our parts. This is falsehood. Our genitalia are TRANSFORMED in a sophisticated process with, dare I say it, surgical precision. It is the epitome of thr essence of Gender transition: Transcending Biology Itself.

>>38485820
your server is full of children, fuck off groomer

dysphoria doesn t really bother me anymore, what really bothers me is that i wasted my youth being sad depressed miserable, i am 23 and hs and college is over and i never had a partner or friends and done fun stuff, just alone depressed miserable, i only had a really good friend in hs, and desu with him i really felt the happiest bc he was the only one to like accept me.. it doesn t really matter anymore..

at least i managed to cry, i can t really really cry anymore, there is no sound to it really, just a few tears falling down from my eyes, i must be sad i would imagine

>>38485729
is this a larp for youngshits thing? idgi
>>38485964
you can still do shit
like for instance prove you aren't a larping bot
>>38485988
*hug* :(

>>38486030
No, we are a new Faith for trans women to acknowledge the spiritual nature of gender transition.

To come to a realization about yourself, then go on a journey to transcend Biology and work tirelessly on your appearance in order to feel like your true self is a beautiful thing. To mold yourself into something greater, into something more like the Mother. Is a beautiful, beautiful thing, I assure you, Sister.

…am I actually bi?

I feel like if I was actually social as a teenager I would've escaped the tranny thoughts. Was thinking the other day about how popular I was at my last job and everyone just accepted me for the weirdo I am. I felt like I actually found my people. Just thinking about that made me feel good and made the tranny thoughts go away. I wonder if me wanting to troon is just because I never found a really stable social group in my life. I just seem to float between groups of people, get close to them, and then lose touch. Maybe if I had some true bros I'd be fine with being a guy.

Just spent like 20 minutes putting old pictures of myself through faceapp and realized I'm too ugly to pass. Think I'm genuinely cured now. Thanks god for making me too ugly and manly to troon

>>38488359
for me, the combination of knowing i'm not at all built to pass and that estrogen will not magically change that and make me pass is what gives me the strength to not take estrogen again

>>38451708
How do I tell if I'm a repper?

>>38488674
Do you want to be a woman?

>>38488674
1. do you want to be the opposite sex
2. do you try to bury/ignore the feelings to avoid having to transition

>>38488687
1. Sometimes?
2. Deathly afraid of it being the case

>>38480834
>amabs of all shapes and sizes
Even slavic chuds can have agp? (thats what i am)
>pass customs,
Im in Canada

>>38488708
would you transition if there were no social/financial consequences to doing so?

>>38488757
And there was a way to 100% for sure pass?
....yeah probably

>>38488815
then yeah you sound like a repper to me

>>38488906
T×T
...fuck

Lads I just got out of rehab and finally made the decision to get clean because I can't do it anymore and without alcohol to fall back on I feel my will power crumbling, I'm now realizing it's inevitable for me to hon out

>>38488951
Good on sobering up nonny. Hope you find peace leaving repression.

>>38488951
nice! good luck :)

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>>38485729
Yeah this is it.

what happens when reppers get arranged married

is it strange to kind of want to start trt of all things? i am pretty solid with never trooning out and just crossdressing at home but i could totally still do that and just become a beast, i am 6'2 and currently that "skinnyfat" build that serves as a great starting point for weight training. lately the idea of it seems more attractive then honing out, like if this is the body im stuck with why not attain the best version of it? also then i can be one of those based shredded dudes that wear maid outfits to conventions

>>38489600
>i can be one of those based shredded dudes that wear maid outfits to conventions
embarrasing
*girls laughing*

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You are not important. You should understand that there are certain achievements that are not meant for everyone, being a woman is one of them. You will never know what it's like to be a woman, and a quadriplegic will never know what it's like to walk. And so life goes on. Your need doesn't matter.

(I'm saying this for myself and the irreparable cases, if you have money and good genetics, troon)

copium

>>38489707
?

>>38489734
you are a nigga

>>38489774
I'm just accepting my circumstance.

once again I'm praying Larry (bonobo) gets rangebanned. it's been so nice with no larry recently. just a source of misery and malice

>>38489791
doesn t really work, my emotions got fried and i am still miserable asf, i can t imagine how it would feel with normal emotions..
>>38489799
why can t you love me?

>>38489809
>why can t you love me?
because you're a piece of shit who ruins these spaces for everyone else

>>38489825
i am actually a good person, the others are mean and hurt me so it is fair to hurt them back, i don t see anything wrong, seems reasonable

i hate my life, i hate being so miserable and depressed

i still feel horrible btw

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giwtwm

is that a hentai game

no

that really sucks

>>38490103
Even better, it's a guro game. Beyond Citadel. It's even on steam.

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>>38485729
>>38489506
nowhere near as based as the real thing

>>38485730
>what got you into them?
can't remember in all honesty, but i was a huge gabriel fanboy for years before listening to duke and having my mind blown
>I would recommend visiting smaller venues
sadly don't live anywhere near any music venues right now, and i've been completely detached from the people around here (by choice) so i wouldn't even know if any house shows were happening

is agp contagious

ok repgen maybe you can help me out, chaser here. Why do so many trans girls I know insist that I must be a repper, despite having no interest in being a woman, presenting female or transitioning? Do I just have a naturally feminine aura? What makes you think someone is a repper (outside of the obvious "I wish i were a woman" and such)?

>>38485568
>I hadn't become conscious yet in '07
you're this young and you're repping?
lol you're gonna hate yourself so much later down the line, it's ridiculous
>inb4 yadda yadda unsupportive and don't wanna be a tranny or something
yeah whatever retard, jfc some people are beyond saving

>>38490671
Because chasers often have dysphoria. I was always attracted to trans women, until I discovered that I was actually jealous. Maybe it's not your case, but you have to deal with the stereotype.

>>38490702
I get the stereotype but it goes beyond that where it seems like they're convinced I specifically must be a repper (as opposed to chasers in general often being reppers)

>>38487897
>if I was actually social as a teenager I would've escaped the tranny thoughts
I was a popular straight passing theater kid with a mysterious twink vibe, girls dug me.
still had a personality crisis at 18, broke down, and ended up trooning 5 years later. 5 more years later and I'm doing quite well, I've overcome my repression related arrested development

being a repper blows but tbqh I feel I can cope with it. like while dysphoria isn't ideal, transition would be worse QoL for me

pinkpillers seem to think everyone lives in seattle

>>38490763
>pinkpillers seem to think everyone lives in seattle
nah, they just know life goes on after 25 and dysphoria keeps getting more debilitating, both physical and social
young reppers for some reason think they've stopped masculinizing at 21 and dissociation cope will keep working into their 30s and 40s
>t. ex repper from a famous anti homo shithole (diametrically opposed from seattle) who thought he'd keep it going but realized fighting on was pointless
my advice: avoid gyms, work from home, get a relatively safe substance to abuse long term

>>38489809
>why can t you love me?
come over and i'll love you a long time
>>38489834
sure june
post ass?
>>38489901
same but not really. miserable tho, and kinda depressed if i can't keep occupied

>>38490783
this so much
i mean disassociation worked partially into my 30's but still...

>>38490783
whatever then. honestly it fucking sucks. i don't have a feminine bone in my body, physically or mentally. im a cold pale autistic husk. big male skull. live in terfland too.

im fucked if I troon, im fucked if i don't
fuck this cursed existence

>>38490980
you could consider manmoding?

i feel like complete dogshit

I’m recovering I feel, there’s been ups and downs and relapses but it feels like I’m in the final act of this month long existential crisis.

you are not recovering, the real crisis will just begin, you are fucked lmao

Reppers WON

fuck you're right I forgot to ask the other crabs in this bucket if I could get out

you can t get out, you are here forever

>>38491320
stfu

>>38491559
new thread when??

>>38491776
when we hit page 10

i want to kms

>>38491841
who here doesnt

>>38492066
would you rather this suffering or be a psycho but like maybe hurting others if it benefits you?

I wish I could help femreppers somehow too

>>38492254
simp, think that in that cute girl is a neckbeard moid mentally

>>38492312
It's not about that, they want something I have and I don't want them to suffer

>>38492254
Whiteknight instincts kicking in huh

>>38492254
I feel a disgust towards them that is impossible to reflect

>>38492421
I'm sure they would help malereppers too
>>38492507
Why?

>>38492514
idk, i'm just repulsed of men

new fred when?

do it yourself

>>38492561
im repulsed by everyone