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Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)


Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: https://kiwiirc.com/nextclient/irc.rizon.net/#/lgbt/sig
Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2

50 self flagellations for being 54 seconds too late to bump the thread last night

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As a reminder to all newcomers of /sig/, the thread is slow and sometimes dies. 90% of the time, if your post has not been replied to in the same thread, it will be replied to in the next. Make sure to check cross-references! 4chanx can make it easier to see if it was your post that is being replied to, since it can fetch posts that have 404d.
>>38512947
It's fine anon, things happen.

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>>38466654
>trying to get better emotionally but everytime i try to do something i screw it up bad and feel so stupid or horrible at that..
>i feel terrible again after this week full of fuckups.
>hopefully tomorrow i will become god and then i shall be the best in every endeavour :DDDDD
Can you give concrete examples for what you would deem a failure to do something? I wanna try to get a sense for how big a "screwup" leads to how big an internal reaction. A lot of the time when we are hard on ourselves we end up killing our motivation, which can be a hindrance even if the part that chastises us means well.
>>38466580
The spoon came out absolutely rad, great work Anon!
>Lesson to be learned here that knowing you should love yourself isn't enough, because sometimes, you just can't.
Very true, for example, external affirmation can make a MASSIVE difference. Having people tell us what we ought to rationally know has an immense psychological effect long term, we can't turn that off.
>The self-hating part of my narcissistic personality disorder is gone, probably for good,
I'm glad to hear, and yeah if you struggle with narcissism then I a sure my advice would only backfire.
>I'm still entitled, I still feel like I'm special, I'm still envious, prone to comparison, hungry for attention and validation, and I still compulsively gather information about others as an attempt to gain power so I can feel safe (it's a form of self-soothing)
Yes, all of that makes perfect sense. You want to feel safe and assured in your connections with others. So it is confidence in you and your relationships that needs developing. Do you feel like you have healthy ways to let people assure you?

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let's see if this is a filtered post...
>>38513067
The post hit character limit, so lemme address the other posts bit by bit. Completely forgot to mention I mean to continue this post.
>>38466746
>>38466777
>>38466792
>First off, you can call me Ila.
Alright, I'll try to recall Ila, you might have to kickstart my memory though because I tend to be bad with names.
>Might never come back, I'm not a 4channer. Just felt bored.
Aw, shame. But I want you to prioritize what is best for you, and if that means no 4chan then so be it.
>I was told he said, when I was born, that he finally felt like a father (I was the last of 5)
>"Wait, one person loved me so I'm worthy of love actually, TO HELL WITH MY MOM"
Yeah, neither your father nor you deserved any of this bullshit, and I am sorry to hear his faith kept him shackled to her.
I hope you never have to deal with her shit again in due time. I hope your siblings don't have to either, although I don't know anything about them.
>And that's why now I want to carve chess sets rofl
Honestly, I think that is an all around beautiful reason to. Each chess piece a small monument to the memory of your loving father.
I wish you nothing but the best, Ila, and if you ever read this, know that you are invited to show us your chess sets, or whatever else you wish to share.

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>>38467162
>Well, I am an incel and it would take far, far too long to change all of the factors that make me an incel.
Would it be alright if I asked for details here? It is in my nature to try and help you overcome feelings like this.
>The only method I've had to express my sexuality has been masturbation, which I feel horrible about.
What is it about masturbation that makes you feel bad, is it shame, something else?
>Perhaps I've developed a case of sour grapes over sexuality and attraction in general.
It would be only natural as a coping mechanism. I do think it would get in the way of basic emotional needs to follow through with repressing your sexuality and shaming yourself for your orientation, though.
>>38468440
>>38476469
unfortunately it might make you obsess over it which is why I don't encourage you to. The question is.. what is it you wanna escape? What are your circumstances?
>>38471034
>Hi everyone, my name is Samia.
Hey there, pardon the late reply, this general tends to be a bit slow. I am glad you finally could begin your transition, even if it doesn't fix everything.
>Yeah lately and for a while dealing with addiction and depression. Trying my best everyday to stay strong and happy, but its just so hard.
It is difficult. Especially addiction and depression in the mix don't really help. Do you feel stuck? The most important thing is that you CAN escape these things, and that setbacks are NOT a failure, just a delay of an inevitable success. It won't feel that way for a long while, but it will eventually. The small steps, the beginnings, are the hardest. The rest will fall into place eventually.

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>>38477272
>going to try lean into drawing practice today to distract myself
how did it go, anon?
>>38480161
>I wish they could figure out of it's bipolar or schizoaffective with me.
>I've gotten both diagnoses and when I last ask my therapist, she basically said yes to both in the sense that she doesn't know for sure which one.
Difficult, how is your therapist going to move forward with your treatment in this case? I get that you'd resent the schizo label but at the same time in the end all it ought to be is a tag for professionals to build an effective treatment around, it should never be a reflection of your person or worth any more than a broken bone versus a failing kidney. Nonetheless, I know other people don't think like I do, so even if you did, I get that you might be treated shittily by others and that alone is already something making the label something not great having. I hope what I am trying to convey is still somewhat clear though, that the shittiness of others should not define our worth, even if it is damn hard not to feel like it does.
>>38477457
>I still have them to this day but i don't have that impending feeling anymore that im on a timer and my body is constantly deforming.
That's progress, definitely! I am glad transitioning and proper medication had such am amazing net impact.
>there's still the occasional bad day where I'll feel bad, but I think im setting a good foundation for myself going into the next year.
I'm glad you are making such wonderful progress overall, it's definitely a great foundation. One factor that might remain is circumstance.
As insidious and stupid as it is, anything from minor ailments (vitamin deficiencies, lack of sunlight, lack of sleep..) to higher level stuff like unmet emotional needs can add to depression, even if the root was chemical imbalance.

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>>38479597
>>38480090
>I always thought I was above being an addict but unfortunately these days alcohol is all that seems to help reliably
It won't help long term, it will in fact actively prevent you from resolving emotional baggage so it will pile and drive you further intro drinking.
NOBODY is above addiction. Nobody.
>just feels like there is no way at all to catch up anymore so why bother trying
>how do you get out of these thought death spirals?
The biggest hurdle is to realize that your only way out of it will completely go against your intuition. Because spirals happen thanks to our intuition and inner compass failing us. You will need to do things and trust the process without believing in it.
>another morning spent in existential dread over being almost 30 and no longer young and desirable and also not having friends
I understand that you feel like you lost 10 years of your life essentially. The thing is, you have 50-60 more to go. And plenty of people only get their shit together in their 30s, which is perfectly normal. You can make friends, you can get qualifications, but first of all we need to take a look at your starting point to pick up the pieces from.
Let's start simple: you wanna transition, make friends, and have a career. Would you say those are the "three big ones", or is there something I missed?
What is your starting point (e.g. NEETdom, living with family, etc).
>>38482293
Wonderful advice, by the way.
>>38483944
Oh goodness.. Do you have means of contacting besides physical mail or will the letter be your first and pretty much only possible form of contact? Sorry to hear, being in such a limbo is ass, I know that feeling first hand.

>>38513067
I had a feeling you'd come back to everyone's posts even days later, ahah. That's some dedication.

>The spoon came out absolutely rad, great work Anon!
Thank you, it took uhhh many work hours. Like 20+. But I did well.

>Very true, for example, external affirmation can make a MASSIVE difference
Imo, a massiver difference is WHEN you're taught what you're taught. Things you learn as a toddler are basically nearly impossible to remove. If they're even noticed.

>You want to feel safe and assured in your connections with others
That's right. I've had lots of experiences of people turning on me suddenly, ghosting me, telling me one thing and feeling the opposite, etc. A lot of that I earned, a lot of it I didn't. Was traumatic regardless, anyway. What I subconsciously learned from that is that anyone's feelings about me can change at any time for any reason, and that they are scarily unpredictable. The idea that someone could act loving one day and despise me the next still makes some strange amount of sense to me, it's still an anxiety I have. Other thing I learned is that my status is never set in stone and I can be "demoted" if I don't try hard enough. Well, you know, classic narcissistic worries, etc.

>Do you feel like you have healthy ways to let people assure you?
Uhm. I don't know ? ...years of consistently loving and supportive behavior perhaps ? xD

>I hope your siblings don't have to either, although I don't know anything about them.
They became like her. Or, no, worse, much worse. Don't wanna talk about them further, they don't deserve.

>I wish you nothing but the best, Ila, and if you ever read this, know that you are invited to show us your chess sets, or whatever else you wish to share.
c:
Thank you, you've been very nice to me. When I do, I'll be sure to show them to as many people as I can. What's your name ?

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>>38486940
>Book Suggestion: Both/And Thinking by Wendy E. Smith & Marianne W. Lewis
Thanks anon! Added it to the resources, and will update the pastebins to reflect that soon.
>>38487125
> have been drinking a week straight. i don't want to become my dad. won't drink today though
you around, anon?
>>38488704
>There is a bunch of people with us atm and since I think too much of what people think of me it affects me whether I like to say that I am not.
Ah, family gathering or something like that?
Also, yeah porn is surprisingly difficult a thing online because of constant witch hunts by religious extremists and advertising companies constantly pushing 18+ content off platforms that only became popular because of them.
>>38490482
what are the long term effects of clearpissmoding?
>>38492025
>Wish i wasnt a moid
Are you transitioning, repping?

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Almost caught up... gonna tae a break for an hour or so and then push through I think.
A few big posts remaining which need some thought.
>>38492485
>Receiving patronizing praise for underachieving makes me feel so angry I can't think straight
Understandable. I often hope I don't come off as patronizing myself, but I think it's clear how I mean it because especially when struggling with depression and such accomplishments like brushing your teeth daily can be more important than big long term goals cause that is the crux of getting out of the death spiral.
>>38496695
heya anon. I've tried my best to look after myself the past few days, cooked a couple lovely meals even.
>>38495986
>I've imbibed zero carbonated water beverages today due to a dearth of availability
I have updates regarding my sodastream experiences, if you are interested.
>>38499460
Mold can fuck with you in all sorts of ways, so it is good it's being taken care of, but it still sucks that people intrude in your private space this much. You cry in the shower a lot?

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Alright, back on my bullshit. A few more posts to go before I wrap up for today.
>>38498870
>hobby discussion
>... yeah i hope so, but i am doubtful. local interest, facebook.
>Actually I had just stayed over a relative's and there met two other bird photographing neighbors while birding, strange.
AWESOME! What vibes did they give off? If you like them, try getting a perm contact and stay in touch, they may acquaint you with more people, too. Every person you meet is a potential foot in the door.
>I think the upheaval he is planning to do to his life will make that conflict obsolete.
Oh, that's reassuring.
>Now i'm more worried about the sexuality incompatability.
>thinking of going off hormones and being a woman gives a feeling of terror.
For now, really, I would strongly suggest just giving it an honest chance and time to explore. I understand your fears, but I would first and foremost not even consider going off hormones and instead see whether he's actually okay with you being as masc as you are, this is not something even he could anticipate you know? Staying on HRT is a hard boundary, he wants you to live after all.
>All these precognitive feelings. Have any experience with those?
Hm, a lot of your outlook and concerns can, at least in my experience, only be dealt with through living through certain things. Letting yourself be assured, leaving your comfort zone, and gaining confidence through external things. After all, we always extrapolate from what we have experienced, and the way we do is not exactly conscious. So the only way we can change it effectively is to find a way to condition ourselves by shaping our environment (and this our made experiences)... is this too unspecific? I could try expand upon that.
>Upon further reading the thread is pretty interesting. Don't think I'll butt in quite yet.
Oh, what conversation caught your eye?

>>38513953
>Are you transitioning, repping?
im hrt repping

Hey siganon
Good job on all these replies
Proud of you and more importantly really happy you keep going

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>>38499752
>all of my shit has fallen apart pretty much.
I'm sorry to hear, anon. Have you posted here before?
>i was just so transfixed by how able he and his friends seem to be to make plans and stick with them and Move Forward
>, and he asked me what my life plans were, and he gave me actual advice about what i could do if i finish college and pursue therapy or social work
A proper support network makes a major difference. You are not supposed to go through life all alone. What the stranger did was exactly the kind of thing a supportive env is doing for people. It sounds like you were touched, and.. as much as the freedom of not being tied down is a nice thing you will probably emotionally resonate with picrel?
I think you would find the motivation to patch yourself up if you had a sense of belonging, that is just a guess though, but community can be immensely healing if it is an accepting and kind one. Because.. being with and around people is something immensely invigorating, isn't it? It is not quite the same life, but it would be a life I think you would find not only worth living, but sustainably so for longer.

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>>38504246
>It just makes me feel dirty and I wish I could get rid of it.
Hmm, what about stuff like laser? Even a cis guy can get that, ultimately. If it's not stupidly expensive, but it seems popular!
>I find myself scrutinizing the distribution of fat on my body, wishing it was more akin to that of women.
Hmm.. I get where the gender angle is coming from.
>if my curly hair would eventually hang down like I want it or continue to grow into an unbearable fro.
definitely give it a shot, Anon! I like to wear my hair shoulder length myself, ponytail and such.
>An acquaintance recommended HRT to me. I did some research on it and it sounded appealing, but I don't know how I feel about breasts.
>I'm not really sure what to think, there are obviously many layers to this issue and a lot I couldn't say here. I'd just like some input.
I know that what helped a lot of questioning anons was talking to other tranners personally, hearing about their experiences, and just spending a lot of time exploring just like you already do. If you are not outright dysphoric to the point of it being unbearable you can take your time, just be mindful and not hurt yourself, a lot of people are too focused on "it's bad, but is it bad enough?", which doesn't seem to be your profile but I have to stress it because others will read it too. A lot of questioning anons that later transition repressed almost by accident by being too uncertain if their pain and discomfort was "real enough" and such.. I digress. Honestly, you are already laying out an amazing game plan. Grow out your hair, do your nails, try girlmoding at home, consider laser.. you are doing perfect. You could try and get some pro counseling on top.

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I think I did it! Time to rest
>>38515284
Thank you, anon.. it's not easy but I am doing my best! I deeply appreciate your encouragement, I hope you know.
>>38513691
>I had a feeling you'd come back to everyone's posts even days later, ahah. That's some dedication.
Thank you, I have set it as my personal goal to respond to as many people as I can, and I have committed to that for over two years now. I take great pride in that fact, even if I wish I could go into greater detail and depth for each person individually.
>Well, you know, classic narcissistic worries, etc.
I do think I understand, yes. Sadly I don't know how to account for it in the case of NPD adjacent conditions, though we do have some useful resources for it! I myself am very aware of my own affirmation seeking behaviors but it still often bleeds into my suggestions to some extent, that is to say I often recommend external validation and avoiding mind reading by explicitly communicating and trying to get to the bottom of people's thoughts in the direct way. Not everyone can vibe with that but the people that do become much easier to work with as a consequence. I can't tell if it is a productive approach for you though. But just being able to have "X makes me feel Y" and "I reacted X way for Y reason" with people exercising self reflection was immensely healing to me.
>>38515277
Are your levels and such in check, do you try to girlmode at home, anyone you are out to?

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Man, i got an indirect complaint about my hygiene at another internship again.
I really suck at getting myself to shower, dunno why.

>>38515602
>I do think I understand, yes. Sadly I don't know how to account for it in the case of NPD adjacent conditions, though we do have some useful resources for it
Oh, don't worry about me, I can take care of my own psychiatry. Have a high degree of insight to work on myself with. You don't need to spend energy trying to help me, honestly I just like to chat.

>I often recommend external validation
In my experience external validation feels good, but it will never get to the root of self-esteem problems, if not make it worse. For me the only thing that worked was rendering myself malleable with LSD until I could reshape myself in a way that was healthier. Nothing else ever worked, and god knows I tried very, very hard to fix myself with my own power. But no. Sometimes you just have to surrender your stake in your own power and let the proper tool do the job. That's my opinion.

>avoiding mind reading
I'm big on that, though, yeah. Assuming as little as possible and knowing as much as I can is definitely how I prefer to do things.

>I take great pride in that fact, even if I wish I could go into greater detail and depth for each person individually.
That's sweet. What got you started doing that ?

>>38515782
how often do you shower? I can deal with once a week in winter

>>38516605
NTA but winter stink seems worse than its summer counterpart to me so I have to disagree

>>38515782
have you tried doing basin washing? thats what they used to do back in ye medieval times. sometimes when i find showering daunting, i can still go to a bathroom and strip down a little and just use a sponge or loofah to wipe down my armpits and sensitive areas.

>>38513953
>you around, anon?
yeah, im still cutting down on it, life is really intense and stressful for me atm so it feels harder for me to resist.

Currently Reading: The Sacred Prostitute by Nancy Qualls-Corbett
https://libgen.is/book/index.php?md5=E8AFA6E0A412EA7E5B8BCA307F59AA06
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/907793.The_Sacred_Prostitute

Due to Mom's resistance to changing some of the ways she does meals to help me with my diet, I have started buying and cooking food for myself. I wasn't going to wait until an unknown time in the future when I can finally move out to start doing all of this. At this point, I no longer expect to get support from family. We haven't talked in 3 days now, and I don't particularly care to. If she wasn't family, I wouldn't want to be around her, which means I just don't want to be around her.

Still keeping up with my walk, yoga and some body shaping exercises to work on my body, and using affirmations and feminization hypnosis to get my mind set where it needs to be. Also getting more in touch with my sexuality. Was somewhat right about being asexual, but more on the asexual spectrum (autosexual, possible demisexual/romantic). Been experimenting with touch during my morning mirror ritual. Definitely responding.

Overall, just trying to keep on keeping on. Have some things in R&D that I'm not ready to talk about (not sure how to talk about them and not risk being misunderstood), but it feels good to finally be working towards something rather than away from something.

Good night

>>38513646
I know that, it's not like I drink super regularly but when I really feel terrible it is the one thing I know to turn to and that is a slippery path

I've posted/whined before a fair few times so I'm sure we've been over my life already, but to sum it up: I have legitimately no real friends other than my on-again off-again gf I live with. I was fired recently and haven't found a job since, and I'm in college again because I dropped out the first two times
so basically, no money, no career prospects for the foreseeable future until I finish my degree which will take two years probably, no social circle/support whatsoever, the only thing in my life that gave me some sense of "it wasn't all bad" was my relationship, which has been on very rocky grounds the last couple of months
it just feels like if I lose that I legitimately have nothing at all left in life, and I'm in my very late 20s so that just hurts extra bad because it's not like life is ahead of me and I can't relate to zoomers because they grew up in a different world and I can't relate to millennials because they're mature accomplished adults so idk

and it pains me to realize that by the time I get to have a "life" (with a degree and srs), I'll be 30 and most of my best years will have been wasted on being a depressed zombie
Other than my bad days I'm not depressed anymore thanks to hrt, I try my best, it just often feels like an uphill battle with no point in winning it if that makes sense
and honestly I know it makes me a bad feminist and agp and whatnot but I just want to be desired, and of course the older I get the less desirable I will be and as superficial as that is, it really hurts me knowing that I don't get to be cute and pretty for much longer, and like I said once I have the means to actually something of myself I will just be a run of the mill middle aged woman, which is of course so much better than my starting point pre-transition but I wish I did better
sorry for rambling

Sorry about the last thread

Good morning

Gm

good night

>>38515602
>Are your levels and such in check, do you try to girlmode at home, anyone you are out to?
Dunno what they are rn they were fine last time
I never girlmore or even voice train or do anything but take hrt every week. I am a man in every other way.
I am out to a few online friends, if it counts. No plan to come out to irl people.

>>38525418
I mostly just wanted to complain. I do not feel like I belong here or any where. Its ok
I think its better this way or thats what I say to myself. I think I need to stop complaining and maybe just wait.

>>38514004
>I have updates regarding my sodastream experiences, if you are interested.
You may chalk me up as such...

>>38512882
i really wish i knew why people just instinctively hate me. feels like i should just go back to being a hikki

how do I balance the time I spend studying and working on personal projects with the time I spend watching movies and anime and playing games

>>38528576
It may prove fruitful to visualize and manage your allotment of time via adopting an activity log — and a system of timed notifications, if need be.

>>38528576
are your personal projects/study the kind of thing you can do first during the day