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>>38548729
hello undercover trannygen
>1
water, but i do like beer with citrus
>2
only my prescribed medication. i had a really bad panic attack last time i took an edible so im done with that. might try the ketamine therapy stuff they have now
>3
warm turtleneck, scarf, wool trousers, chelsea boots
>4
it was ok. im done with work on monday, moving on saturday. i got my eyebrows done yesterday and then had a fight with my friend who has horrendous BPD and decided she thought i was gonna pay for her lunch and dessert. so cool

>>38548729
boymoder general

q1 im sticking to beer rn when i was a teenager i used to drink a lot of vodka with soda/juice and cheap wine but now when i go out with frens im going more for a heineken
q2 no tried weed a few times but didn't really feel anything. not my thing also
q3 tshirt/jersey and a blackcolored jeans lol
q4 boring did nothing only got more hrt on the hospital and did a medical exam

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>>38548729
>qott1
monster n crystal geyser water
>qott2
weed and alc
>qott3
blackhoodie blackjeans
>qott4
was alright i think im starting to have schizophrenic episodes

>>38548729
oh bmg, how you struggle against the inevitability of being forgotten and dragged to the archives, it’s part of why i adore you so much
>qott1
nothing beats water i could drink that stuff all day
>qott2
plenty of other substances, but nothing illicit
>qott3
hoodie (though for uni a wear a classy sweater) + jeans
>qott4
stressful, new semester and the class sizes are much larger than what i’m used to
>ive been drinking non stop for 2 or 3 weeks
are you alright nona? do you need to talk about it?
>>38548829
what made you decide to move?
>>38548911
have you considered going to the doctor about that? i would consider going to the doctor about that

>>38548729
boymoder uniform at the moment is denim shirt over the top of my hoodie

why do so many people keep trying to gaslight me into thinking that i pass and that i’m attractive?, they won’t succeed because they are so obviously wrong

>>38548985
>are you alright nona? do you need to talk about it?
i just can't exist sober. i told the psych person about my dissociation a couple weeks ago and now he wants me to be reassessed by the psych nurse and its just i don't know how crazy to be with them. bcus desu im really not sane
keep on having panic attacks thinking everything is going to collapse. he wanted me to call them if i had a panic attack again but it's so scary making phone calls

>>38548985
>what made you decide to move?
got a new job in another state. ive been with my parents since september, so i was going to take anything i could get. fortunately my offer was really good

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>>38548729
thanks for making a new one, op! i'll blogpost a bit, but i haven't had a whole lot of exciting news lately. i've been trying to be less of a shut-in lately! it's going pretty well, but it's not easy. it's so scary leaving my room but i've been going to stores and going out to get food a bit. it's fun to explore but also i really hate being around that many people. unrelated to that, i feel like i'm slowly ruining my relationships with my online friends, but i can't tell. i just can't get over thinking that they hate me and i don't know what to do. it seems impossible to convince myself that they're not secretly just making fun of me... i really don't want to lose them, though. i don't really have anybody else and it's been nice being able to talk with people ever since i met them. if anybody has some advice please tell me how to fix myself <3

>>38548985
no if it gets to that point ill have much worse problems

>>38549017
i don’t even know what to say. obviously you can’t stay like that but being medicated isn’t always a good solution and getting sent a psych ward is worse. i hope you make it through this
>>38549140
ooh, good for you! a fresh start can do wonders for someone and even better to get away from people directly undermining you. things are looking up

>>38548729
>qott1 what is ur beverage of choice
coca cola zero is my life force
>qott2 do u consume any other substances
i like good ol water lol
>qott3 whats ur boymoder uniform
baggy sweater and sorta baggy jeans lol
>qott4 how was ur week :)
good just tired from school dont want to study

>>38549428
yeah! im excited. its enough for me to live alone, im gonna have someone move with me in june. im going to have a lot of disposable income and be in a really young, artistic kinda city so its going to be a good way to maybe break my boymoder habits.
plus i get insurance that should cover orchi + ffs going forward :')

>1
i like mules or long islands but only because the days i go out those are two dollars (the long islands)
>2
i dont drink very often, i vape but i am trying to go back to being completely sober, smoking weed kinda gave me psychosis and ruined my life so im trying to stay away from substances
>3
black sweatpants and a hoodie
>4
my week was fine nothing reaelly happened, i just staarted playing animal crossing wild world and ive already caught a coelacanth so thats pretty cool, also i bought trunks in fortnite who is my favorite character in dragon ball so im up

>>38548729
>1
alc or any? if any water, if alcohol probably moscow mule or just vodka coke
>2
alcohol socially (so not often) and weed (tho i've been on like a 3 month break)
>3
t shirt that is 3 sizes too big + baggy sweatpants
>4
it was. i've felt pretty hollow lately but i downloaded balatro last night so it's all ok now

i wish i had a bf so bad.. but i think i might be too traumatised rn for a relationship
but just
a guy a on top of me
groaning enjoying himself inside me
telling me he loved me
god

god im jealous of you all living in civilized places that you can wear hoodies and baggy clothes i would die of heat stroke here aaaaaaaaaaa

bump before going to bed :3

>>38548729
>alcoholism edition
Boooooooooo!
>beverage
Water, otherwise any kind of citrusy soft drink
>substances
Other than hrt, no
>boymoder outfit
Hoodie and/or big oversized northface jacket that frankly looks absurd on me. Like when kanye dressed up as a minecraft character lmao. It hides my chest, though!
>week
Good week. Was my first week working after graduating, and it's going well! Slept a lot, too
>>38548847
>tshirt
But... boob?
>>38549140
Naoto's gonna leave us lol
Gl soon-to-be girlmoder.

>>38553335
>>38549161
Forget which one, but this is like textbook mental health disorder. You are probably deluding yourself.
>>38549929
Why Wild World? I only ever played New Leaf
>>38550363
>3 sizes too big
That's like my jacket lol. But wouldn't a tshirt just drape over everything and make it more apparent?

i need to sign up for some embarrassing medical procedures because i made the mistake of going through the system instead of diying from the start. i hate it

>>38549161
your friends don't secretly hate you. that is a common paranoid thought. i can't offer much advice on shaking the feeling, but you ought to be able to at least look at things objectively and realize that you're just being irrational.

>>38553868
the system sucks, im planning on not ever going to a doctor for gender stuff

>>38553346
>why wild world?
idk desu ive just heard that the villagers are better than they are in the newer ones and i wanted to try it out

>>38553335
>But... boob?
haha yeah... boobs...
im flat as a board :(

>>38553868
same lol but for my surprise they give us good hormones here, no 25mg of spiro like you hear in some hondoses stories
but yeah doing ultrasonography with a doctor that knows you're trans and keep asking questions was a bit embarrassing for me lol

>>38548729
I really wish I was an actual boymoder and not a manmoder, maybe then people would like me and let me socially trans :(

>>38548729
Is making moonshine appropriate for a boymoder, or is it in the manmoder territory?
(I don't drink it btw)

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>>38548729
>boybober
KURWA JA PIERDOLE

>qott1 what is ur beverage of choice
chocolate milk
>qott2 do u consume any other substances
no but i occasionally get shitfaced on wine
>qott3 whats ur boymoder uniform
tshirt or baggy sweater + unzipped hoodie + wide leg jeans
last year when i just started hrt i could manage with just a baggy sweater but now my boobs are really showing through a zipped up or pullover hoodie even with another layer underneath. that's the only style of clothes i can wear without a bra atp
>qott4 how was ur week :)
shit. my friday was horrible at work and then an old man with dementia didn't know how to send us an email and told me he was gonna kill himself and hung up and it's still on my mind. fucked up my whole weekend

on to hitting another bump limit i love /bmg/

>>38555432
boymoders can make boyshine. as a treat

>>38553335
:')

>>38554797
nta, yeah but also it's missing a bunch of features like actual holidays which are kinda fundamental to the ac experience in my mind
i think acnl is the sweet spot even though villagers feel more sterile. i would really love to play that english translation of dobutsu no mori e+ one day if it ever comes out

>>38557046
ive also been playing city folk, thats my favorite cause i grew up with it, i just wanted to try out wild world

boymoderbump

gay sex

One time I had someone he/him me in boymode and it kinda boggled my mind. I wonder what it is that made them clock me when nobody else does.

>>38557235
i wanted to buy the new pocket camp while it's still only 10 dollars until the end of january but idk if i'm even gonna play it. could buy a burger instead. i mean i like designing stuff in animal crossing so it sounds like i would enjoy it but also i would much rather prefer if it had some multiplayer functionality like the original. i also play emulated acnl on my phone, so it's just kinda a redundant worse spin off version of that

>>38558971
what a fagel

>>38553346
>But wouldn't a tshirt just drape over everything and make it more apparent?
no i wear 2 sports bras

>>38559052
>he/him me in boymode
Yeah, that's what's supposed to happen in boymode.

>>38559763
Everyone can see your sports bras Q_Q
Even the super thin "invisible" ones show unless you have a thick sweater or hoodie on.

>>38559844
erm no they cant

>>38559842
Yeah but it's not something that happens to me. Maybe in a year of boymoding I might get he/him'd a few times.

>>38559844
>Even the super thin "invisible" ones show unless you have a thick sweater or hoodie on.
nta
thats what i do, hoodie all year

>>38559867
Then you are probably doing something wrong.
I too can wear a 100% male outfit, and look like a woman, but I don't do that because that wouldn't be boymoding.

>>38559852
...everyone knows. They're just being polite x_x

>>38559844
>>38560157
...is this true? fuck my stupid tranny life i'm kms before summer rolls around if this is real

>>38560157
lalala i cant hear u

i am going to say it, okay?
i wish i had a boyfriend. that's it. bye.

>>38559867
getting unreasonably mad at this post. THAT'S NOT BOYMODING!!! GET OUT OF MY THREAD GO MAKE A PASSOID GENERAL OR SOMETHING IDC

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>>38548729
>manmoder
>enjoy mmg but im trying to break free a bit and start to honmode this year
>distancing myself from the repperness of there sounds best
>pop my head in here hoping for more hope even if i don’t fit in
>find out bmg is 10x worse only you bitches pass as women when your mouths are shut
we need hongen back for hon hopefuel

i love my gf she makes me feel so warm inside >_<

>>38561077
sorry... was it because of >>38561000 ? i didn't mean to be mean... i just get jealous sometimes. but i'm glad you're starting to girlmode, nona! i'm very proud of you! do you have any fun stories? what made you decide to stop manmoding?

>>38561191
tell me about her! what do you love about her? how did you two meet?

every day i go to war because i love boymoders. the world hates you all but i fight back because you deserve to be protected and cherished. i will not rest until you all have someone to care for and love you. i will save all of you.

>>38561206
she's too sweet to me and way better than i deserve and way out of my league and gives me love in a way that makes me feel like life was worth it up until this point, we met on here actually

>>38560516
I mean, if you are double layering sports bras, especially thicker ones made of real fabric... yea, everyone probably can tell, maybe not immediately, but it's only a matter of time (like, a week or two max). Whether it be the straps or the fabric that hovers between your shoulder blades/breasts, or simply the shape, it's all pretty visible.
On the bright side, your family/friends probably aren't wildly transphobic. Uhh, congrats! Go girlmode! Get outta here
>>38560547
xd
>>38560972
It's so bad >.<
>>38561077
Bmg is kinda weird. Like, I malefail quite a lot these days (3yrs hrt), but I don't think it's enough to pass for actual interactions beyond a simple greeting or thank you. I think a lot of us started boymoding when we were young-ish (highschool to college-aged) and kept creeping the goalposts forward for what boymoding means. Now, there's some here with over a decade of hrt who pass flawlessly and yet still call themselves boymoders.

>>38561320
>we met on here actually
HOW HOW HOW TELL ME HOW PLEASE

are you guys edating or did you meet in person?

>>38561364
uhh we met in a different thread and yea we met in person after a few months

>>38548729
>qott1 what is ur beverage of choice
black tea with whole milk. earl grey, chai, English breakfast are all good. coffee is also nice. and red wine
>qott2 do u consume any other substances
weed a d shrooms
>qott3 whats ur boymoder uniform
striped long sleeves under a short sleeve nirvana graphic T-shirt
>qott4 how was ur week :)
it was a manmoder week :(

>>38561501
>uhh we met in a different thread
ok, which one and how? please, this is incredibly important. i need to know.

>>38561350
>On the bright side, your family/friends probably aren't wildly transphobic. Uhh, congrats! Go girlmode! Get outta here
i'm nta yes they are i live in eastern europe
guess i'm doing the hoodie in 40 C heat meme unironically from now on

>>38561617
i got too lucky so all i can say is be aware about the ppl in there and if you have a gut feeling about what someones like then just get to know them

>>38561077
true everybody here (but me) is a bdd passoid

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>>38549428
>i don’t even know what to say. obviously you can’t stay like that but being medicated isn’t always a good solution and getting sent a psych ward is worse. i hope you make it through this

>>38562418
well shit

>>38562418
this is coming for me this year unfortunately it's all become too much

>>38562418
is this real? did they get you op? i really hope you get the help you need... i know psych wards are infamously bad but i'm still hoping it works out well for you. love you, nona.

>>38563389
yeah apparently i tried burning my diary in the bathtub lol

>>38563487
...apparently?

>>38562418
can't wait until they take away your phone.

>>38563492
i don't remember doing it
>>38563501
they did last time when i got to the psych emergency ward
kinda hoping they won't make me stay there tho . rn im just in urgent care

>>38548729
Boymoder yuri

Anime about two boymoders in love but they're constantly mistake for a m+f straight couple

>>38564349
GIWTWM

>>38561196
I haven’t started yet but I’m starting sessions with a new therapist later this week and I’m gonna try girlmode im very scared though. Also dw sorry it was more just the whole thread T_T
>what made you decide to stop manmoding?
I just hate being seen as a man lol I’d rather be seen as a visible trans woman but I live in a sorta rough area so I’m nervous. I’ll be 3.5y hrt by the end of this year so I at least want to be partially girlmoding even if I don’t pass at all
>>38561350
I also started uni age (19, but a shit starting point hence manmoding) so I get it but I think with you’s who malefail you get far more comfortable because it’s obviously gonna be a less dysphoric existence than a manmoder or maybe even the average honmoder. Ik a lot of you’s do it for safety or pleasing family the same as me but I think the "it’s not enough to pass" mindset is just a refusal to put in extra effort for some.
>>38562166
no lol

>>38564880
to clarify I’ve only knowingly malefailed once in my life after 2.5 years hrt but I’m still trying to move towards honmoding because doing what’s best for my dysphoria is more important than passing imo. that’s maybe making my replies come off as harsh sorry I know not everyone has the same experience

>>38564349
poor boymoder that gets gendered as male while her gf is gendered as female ;-;

another's day another boymode

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On one of my chest bumps under the outer areola area I guess I feel an odd shaped bump thing that feel a little different than the normal glands.
I can move it with my finger.
About the size of an almond.
Have no idea how long it’s been there.
Anyway, I’m gonna have to go to the clinic to get it checked out. What do I tell them? I haven’t taken estrogen for over a year (personal reasons). Will they believe me if I tell them I have gyno even though I have cone tits?

Anyone else feel annoyed when they male fail?
Coz it's like "yep, you got me. Now I am forced to lie to you.".

>>38566746
I don't think healthcare professionals really care.
As long as they consider you cis they will help as required.

>>38564349
Quantum sexuality

>have first ffs consult
>really disappointed and sad w the experience
:/ How do u guys cope w stuff like that

>>38568164
what was disappointing abt it

>>38568380
I want a lip lift but they told me it wouldn't work for me because I show teeth when I smile so it'd look goofy but they agreed my philtrum is large so idk.
Kinda feels like I got told I'm a hon and I can't do anything about it.

I know I don't pass but I hoped that'd fix me this year I guess.

>>38568410
feels bad :/ i worry about whether they'll botch the lip lift for me maybe ill just try to do it separately with someone that specializes in it

>>38568618
They just wanna do forehead and hair transplants on me but idk I feel so demoralised like I'd look identical with just that done.
If they can't fix my philtrum why even bother right? I'm going to cry it out tonight then try get over it and maybe go to other consults and pray they've something different to say.
I'm just so disappointed idk you don't know me so you wouldn't get it I guess.

i need a rhinoplasty

>>38562418
update they let me back home

>>38569743
are you doing any better?

>>38569806
yeah the psychiatrists were actually super sweet and reassuring abt the derealization they gave me some time off work
the toxicologists thought i was an alcoholic and kept on trying to peer pressure me in to taking benzos lol
apparently i was rly badly dehydrated too

>>38548729
hai bmg, i need something to be quirky so i keep a list of licence plates i find interesting and today i found one that said BMG and thought of you

hi fellow boymoders!

>>38570763
>>38570926
hiiii

>>38558971
>>38568164
are you the girls from the BMG collage?

>>38548729
>qott1
I love mead so much
>qott2
sadly not but I definitely want to try weed, and other substances in a safe environment. the ones I can think on top of my head are mdma, ecstasy, mushrooms, bla bla. but I'm a drug virgin, only ever drank
>qott3
my absolute boymoder classic would be a large black men's hoodie jacket, with light blue women's skinny jeans and my dark pink vans
>qott4
week was bad, I'm feeling really depressed these weeks anyway. and prog is making me sexually frustrated :(

I've been reading highschool boy and oml I wish it was me!!! the prog isn't helping, but the desire for some big strong guy to be there to love me is so big, and I want to love him back. during all of my school time I've been a weird loner no one except my "friends" interacted with. almost nothing of the sort iltak has been going on. why couldn't I've been a cute boymoder femboy boyfailure who guys secretly think is cute?? there was one guy from my school I dated for a few weeks after I graduated, but it didn't work out. apparently when he sometimes called me "cute boy" during class he meant it... don't know if this is a blogpost or a ventpost

>>38571106
what's a bmg collage? is it like that post from ftmg with all the selfies from tripfags?

>>38571075
hi!!!! how has ur day been:)))

>>38571197
yes
>>38571202
same boring day as every other day!!! and u??

>>38571106
>are you the girls from the BMG collage?
i want to see this, can you post it?

>>38571106
It's a pic from 2019 in mine but yeah

>>38568410
prob need like maxilla advancement or double jaw surgery then desu

gm /bmg/

>>38576711
gm boo wyd

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how deep are you into boymoding? have you tried girlmoding before?

>>38576922
Two years in.
No, but actually looking like a guy is getting hard.

>>38576922
just few months since im few months in hrt but no i dont see myself girlmoding my face is not bad but i feel like an ogre bc of my body (specially shoulders)

>>38576922
a few days before one year. haven’t even malefailed. at what point does it become manmoding

>>38576922
2 years, ive never tried girlmoding but i malefail a bunch at my job, i need to voice train but i think its too hard so i never do it

>>38576922
2.5y, only malefail in negligible situations (while wearing a hat, while snowing, while dark, while backs turned) and over the phone so im more a manmoder, I’ve girlmoded a couple times far far away from home but I’m wanting to start partially girlmoding this year.

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Anons, I’m a bit nervous today. I took estrogen for about a year, then stopped for personal reasons I don't want to get into right now.
I’m going to the clinic today because I found an almond shaped hard thing under the skin of one of my chest bumps.
Could I just say I have Gynecomastia?

need laser... save me laser...

>>38576922
1.5 years, never tried girlmoding...

>>38577632
>haven’t even malefailed
i didn't start malefailing until a little after one year, there's still hope! i believe in you!

>>38578488
i mean this in the nicest way possible, grow up. just tell them the truth, they're a doctor. i'm sure they've seen worse than a boymoder before, just be brave! i think it's worth it just in case you have something like breast cancer

>>38578488
no tell them you wanted big tiddies so you could perform autopaizuri

>>38578488
the fact that you had an estrogen dominant system for a year very well might be relevant to their assessment. as a doctor, they probably don’t care, but if you’re in a position where that could be dangerous then it might be better to lie about it
>>38578490
it takes quite a few sessions to really show its magic but the improvement i’ve had has tremendously helped my self image
>>38578553
thank you nona, i hope you’re right. at least it’s damage control and things aren’t getting worse

>>38578553
It’s easy to tell someone to grow up when they may not wear your size shoes.

>>38571106
allegedly
i don't look like that any more though

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>>38578488
you don't need to tell them you were on hrt, cis men get gyno and breast cancer too

wishing hard for you that it's fine, but it's a good idea to check with a nurse

>>38548729
>q1
Vodka cranberry
>q2
I use speed (eurospeed, not meth) close to daily, but am trying to quit bc it's making me wayyy too skinny. Other than that weed, ecstasy and coke on occasion
>q3
Black jeans and a long sleeved shirt
>q4
Meh, roommate walked in on me showering this morning so I'm worried he noticed my tits

>>38578488
uh theyre docs tell them the truth lol

>>38580105
are you stupid

>>38579911
Thank you for the advice anon. I really appreciate you hoping everything is fine. I do too, I’ve been praying.

>>38580117
why would you lie about that?

>>38580638
have you ever spoken to a doctor about tranny shit

>>38548729
Hi bmg i need help
Is it fair that my boymoder gf makes me call her by her chosen name but everyone else calls her by her legal name
And she makes me deadname her when people are around

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>>38548729
>>qott1 what is ur beverage of choice
monster, alcohol, ice tea, soda
>qott2 do u consume any other substances
weed
>qott3 whats ur boymoder uniform
wide leg jeans and band/oversized t-shirt with some kind of longsleeve if im cold
>qott4 how was ur week :)
garbage aside from the time when i got crossfaded

>>38580880
by “fair” if you mean impartial then no, she’s obviously treating you differently. if by “fair” you mean a reasonable thing to ask then absolutely. she thinks of you as a safe space where she can be referred to in the way she wants to be without the fear of social rejection or stigma. if you think it’s too difficult to not slip up then talk to her about it

>>38580686
Real.
Not even my endo knows I've taken hrt.
The first doctor I ever told was a dumb ffs surgeon LOL.
Same with my second and third I bet.

>>38580931
I introduced her to my mom with her tranny name and she alerted me that i spell it wrong IN FRONT of my mom... now i am upset :(

>>38548729
I'm on E sublingual monotherapy. My T is down and E is up, but no progesterone and no needles because I'm poor and this Is the cheapest route. Am I sabotaging myself?

>>38580975
did you two not communicate about what you were going to do when it came to introducing her to your parents? if so then the lack of communication is a substantially bigger problem

>>38580686
uh yeah and i had both good and bad experiences about that
but lol if you took hormones and is now scared about something that showed up in a region that the hormones have/had effects wouldn't be better to tell to the doctor you took a medication that could have done something there?
anyway anon gl hopefully its nothing and you're fine ^^

emo boymoders how many of us

>>38582257
reporting in! what's your daily outfit like?

>>38584168
black zip hoodie black jeans and oldskools

>>38582257
I wear all black, but I don't think I'm actually emo.

im drunk again

>>38585098
giwtwm

no alcohol in my house... it's over

>>38548729
I need my hair to grow back so bad

>>38586864
i got a bit of honfidence this week and schedule a haircut in a salon for tomorrow but im pretty sure i will regret what im gonna do but whatever we just live once

>>38582257
not emo but i usually dress with darker colors

>>38571106
>>38568164
>>38558971
LMAO no way
somebody should post it again

>>38569858
update
time off work and the nurse mentioned maybe antipsychotics next time but desu i wish id just been like give me them now
felt like the psych nurse didnt understand me as well as the psychiatrists but the psychiatrists were only for the emergency ward

bruhmoder

hi boymoders!!! do any of you have album recs for me?for reference i like to listen to depressed indie cowboy music like modest mouse pinback and built to spill but am open to almost anything

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cant drink a lot anymore cuz anti depressants but whatever

q1 water or spezi (german soda, coke and fanta basically), for alcohol i think rum, specifically kraken
q2 used to try everything desu unless it was super hard (heroin etc) but i most liked xans, sober now
q3 vidrel
q4 kinda iffy bcuz of a psychiatrists visit but itz oki

>>38579911
picrel is u if u were a boy

>>38589907
i like the outfit! do you ever malefail while wearing it?

>>38589840
some albums for u
https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_kKZ_ZiMSYfzAe7x4cyjua0LSmTxqqaX0I
https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_nXVuy4mPuHlH_wwOHzo8D4HiyEXHJDUfs
https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_l-vl5dv3-kjlGn0vWgf2hWSZ042ECq-NY
https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1mRkYurgsZyFQl02gqtIeBVUr_3tSgbr
https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_nomrUMrzP-SRfqVaia3RT_iUbRFKlLgdo
https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_n6oKdpEn8UaTvJvGitpY2cCbDRjhEtKB0

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>>38589955
no i have terminally male proportions and chudface

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i think i have expanded facial planes

>>38590123
guuys give me attention pls

>>38590123
ok but like... do you really think that? i don't get why you would post a bunch of pictures on here of yourself like picrel if you really hated your body that much... maybe i'm just too self-conscious or something, but i would rather die than post a picture of myself here. i'm asking this in earnest by the way, i'm not trying to be mean. anyway, if you need someone else to say it then i think you're very pretty and you should just go outside more. good luck!

>>38590123
i hate my shoulders to hips ratio too ;-;

>>38589907
>>38590123
ew get out I don't like you

boysleeping now zzzzzzz

>>38593977
Boywokeup around when you posted this

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>>38589907
>spezi
spezifischer Spezifischfischer fischt spezifische Spezifische

>>38589955
most people just see her as a girl

>>38590123
lol, lmao, rofl even

>>38591332
it's just bdd

>>38594654
wish i could stay in bed foreverrrrrr, it's so cold outside

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>>38548729
>qott1 what is ur beverage of choice
kofola, it's like if socialism, coffee and coca cola had a child
>qott2 do u consume any other substances
alcohol, weed in small amounts
>qott3 whats ur boymoder uniform
high-top converse, super skinny jeans, sports bra, L size male shirt, L size male hoodie i find in the closet, pink hairclips cuz idk how to handle long hair
>qott4 how was ur week :)
finals coming up and i'm barely able to study, otherwise okie

have a final exam today, the prof is so lazy that he just made a quiz and makes us use our own laptops, so it's kinda free i guess

>>38594654
o.o
im waking up now but im probably stay in bed a little bit :3

>>38590178
Me too :(
I've got a skullchan-sized skull with a korean square jaw.
It's ogre lol

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gm boybobers

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>>38548729
>qott 1
water
>qott 2
i love dr pepper and depression
>qott 3
picrel
>qott 4
it was eh, i’m on autopilot for now i wont lie

>>38596651
>Boymoder thread
>Woman in a hoodie
I'm probably guilty of this too, but like c'mon.

>>38586891
its time ... i need to have bangs again

>>38596651
now THIS is a boymoder. this might be the first actual boymoder selfie i've seen this entire thread. good work, i'm very proud of you

i want to go outside more but i don't really have any hobbies so i don't really know what to do. could you all tell me what hobbies you have or like so i can get some ideas?

>>38597132
>passgen says i’m a man and can’t pass
>chasergen anon keeps calling me male
>boymodergen anon calls me a woman

wherever you go on this board you just can’t win

>>38597767
thanks it’s a comfy fit <3

>>38597800
>wherever you go on this board you just can’t win
Yeah...
Coming here isn't a thing people should be doing.

>>38548729
a year to the day since starting and the only thing i have to show for it are longer hair, laser, and some fat distribution. i’m staying a boymoder forever (this is a lie i’ll become a manmoder eventually but won’t confront that reality yet)

>>38597752
im looking like a lesbian lmao

>>38596651
Tattoo on ur arm? That looks really cool.
>>38597772
Do you like music? You could go to a concert or something.
Most of my outdoor hobbies are summer things :<

should i kill myself

>>38599770
you should kiss myself

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boymoding forever
another day of being mr manly sir man male
idk not really i guess
i don't go outside much so idk how people see

i got gendered male by my prof
idk if it was because of my deadname in the system, my looks, my voice or a combination of those

i got stares from some girls today, maybe they saw a tranny and had to take a peek at the walking monstrosity, maybe they just liked my shirt..

a waitress helped me open the door cause it was too heavy for me

theyfab friend (who i never outed myself to and last saw me in post-laser boymode)
looked pretty surprised when she saw me, she looked at my tits, but didn't ask anything

hope hrt will fix whatever is wrong with me and i'll start voicetraining after i'm done with finals

it's all so tiring

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>>38596651
cute <3

>>38597800
opinions of this board don't rly matter in the end, it's too focused on looks and not on actual passing

>>38598784
waow <3

>>38597772
um idk
outside things alone?
running/biking with music is fun
exploring if you live somewhere fun
geocaching
reading in some comfy place outside
look out for events you'd wanna visit
i visited pride, a tranny meetup and queer meetups all of them were really cool and met many friendly people, despite me being a shy bitch

>>38599770
no

i boymode as a gay male who wears makeup and it works well enough

>>38599960
not possible
>>38599990
kill you with a massive fucking rock
>>38600004
idk i think i should

>>38600004
>i visited pride, a tranny meetup and queer meetups all of them were really cool and met many friendly people, despite me being a shy bitch
i have so much internalized transphobia from being on this board, idk how to be able to go to these things normally without mentally labelling everyone else there

>>38600004
>visited pride, a tranny meetup and queer meetups
Just like >>38600271 I think this is kinda hard to do and survive mentally. Like I once saw two twink hons in one day, and spent the rest of the week in a terrible mood.

>>38599990
>this is boymoding

how to make hair grow faster google search

>>38601845
you're also a girl
im the only true boymoder in this general full of cute passoid girls

>>38593977
boysleeping again gn chat

>>38599990
Iron your shirt PLEASE

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>>38605606
>Iron your shirt PLEASE
i don't have a way to iron it, i'll have to wash it and dry it straight

ik it looks awful

>>38601845
>this is boymoding
my shit attempt at girlmode i guess
it's still boymode if i get gendered male tho

>>38604588
>boysleeping again gn chat
goobmight<3

>>38600031
>kill you with a massive fucking rock
please do
so tired of it all

is there anyone here who boymodes even after ffs

>>38605842
>is there anyone here who boymodes even after ffs
me bro

Can apathetic andromoders post here?

>>38605915
what the hell sure

>>38605765
Didn't you used to be real positive what happened shoe :(

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>>38606045
sorry
school is eating me alive
i try so hard yet i'm always behind
i'm delaying my finals
and dropping out seems like a possibility now

the only reason i still have a roof above my head is that my mom legally can't drop her support, while i'm still studying

i just wanna fall asleep
i don't understand how other people manage

>>38606104
>i just wanna fall asleep
>i don't understand how other people manage
mood :/
hope things get better for u <3

>>38606104
Iktf i dropped out and it wasn't easy but I survived.
Survived only to be told my philtrum is permadoomed and no surgeon seems to want to give me a lip lift it's so over...

Hope you get a chance to rest soon

do any oldheads still post here or is it just me and charlotte

>>38606708
Everyone else made it why would they post here

>>38594703
cawwot :3

>>38606737
true

>>38606708
disco grendel and mila posted on the revival thread last week

>>38606708
im old

>>38606788
How's life ocre

>>38606795
comfy but i have noone except my family

>>38606810
Glad it's comfy anyways.
My life is good too except for my face because I have to give up on ffs aka iwnbaw.
Least I have a cool job and get to travel lots.

>>38606906
what are you working as? im still doing the agprogrammer thing

>>38607052
Yeh I work in IT since last year lol...... We might've ended up as parodies.
Pay is good for a dropout and I get to post on discord and 4chan during work

>>38607154
yeah i basically do all my work in short bursts and then fuck around for the rest of the day. the other people gas me up constantly and i'm getting a raise finally.

>>38607264
Yeah same here lol.
I'm getting a 10% raise soon myself LOL weird how that works out.

>>38607346
must be because its january

i tried going to IT but i discovered im too dumb for coding and found it very boring too a pity bc it pays well

>>38604302
meh everyone in my life just sees me as a twink, and everyone on here just says i give theyfab. im kinda ok with that i guess

bmg, is there any way to help my boymoding coworker? She's miserable and brainwormed, and I don't think she's getting better. She's changed her name, but wears a hoodie every single day at work, and a beanie to hide her hair. I hate seeing her wince every time she gets sir'd. I want to give her advice, but, she's been in transition for 3+ years, way longer than I have...

We've talked about few times about voice training, but she's really reserved. Any advice?

what are some good jobs for a dropout boymoder? my old job wont let me work for another 2 months bcuz im part time and im tired of sitting around being a NEET all day

>>38607838
pay for ffs

>>38548729
y was i born to be so ugly? its not fair

>>38555917
How do I get a boymoder with demon horns gf?

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>>38607851
IT jobs are pretty good, but depends if you're in that field i guess

gf started doing work-from-home IT stuff right after high school and is well off right now, saving like 40% of her paychecks for ffs

rn she has like 4 hours a day irl some small local company + 4 hours work-from-home corporate job

getting a job in front-end stuff might be easy, had people in highschool with barely any experience working those jobs

also if you boymode they'll like you more, people in IT are allergic to women

>>38608438
>saving like 40% of her paychecks for ffs
tfw ive been investing almost 80% because i live with my parents

>tranny clinic sent me mail with my tranny name on it to my parents address
its fucking over.
blood runs cold its so fucking over what have i done to myself

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>>38608491
jealous
my parents fucking hate me

>>38608621
how bad is that?? 0-0
where you not out

>>38608327
uhh idk find an anime weeb who'll cosplay for you

>>38608270
we're born to suffer

>>38608688
no ofc im not out. im moving tomorrow and i just fuck fuck fuck, my dad saw and was like wtf is this and then i took it and he went why do u think its yours and my blood is so cold. its literally a bill with a 30 dollar copay why are they mailing me

>>38608078
>Pay for ffs
H-haha what do those too doomed for ffs do? I hope if I get another consult I'm less disappointed

>>38608714
Good luck Naoto :< I've had a few close calls too.
Hope you gtfo if it's not safe for you.

>>38608910
ill be out this weekend thank god. i just never wanted a close call like this. it makes me genuinely feel like all this transition work was actually a mistake because my dysphoria is still as bad as it was when i was 14 but now i have to dance around my parents to keep the boymode hidden even when everyone else tells me i should make progress. i dnt want progress if it mkaes me an anxious wreck and makes me live a double life. i hate that im like this

>>38608688
>uhh idk find an anime weeb who'll cosplay for you
Yeah that makes sense

>>38609107
You're not alone Naoto iktf.
I want to try make some progress but there's always a wall in the way and it feels bad because people try help me too.
Hoping to move out in the summer myself, glad you're getting out even if the last day was shitty.

>>38609232
yeah it completely sucks :( i delayed hrt for 2+ years in my anxious state of soemthing like this happening. i feel i crashed into a wall.
i hope we both can make progress going forward

cried today

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>>38609107
>genuinely feel like all this transition work was actually a mistake
please don't say that, it definitely wasn't :c
the alternative is far worse and it's amazing that you avoided it
ik it can fucking horrible rn, but it's worth it in the long run, an investment into yourself <3

when do i become a girl

>>38610934
idk if its really worth it. i want to girlmode fully but i think its not really in the right now for me. ill just stay an androgyne twink

>>38548729
do you guys actually call yourself trans women or at least relate to the term? idk i started sessions with a very trans friendly therapist the other day and girlmoded and everything yet felt even more like a regular ol man afterwards. not to be overly bitter but i really don’t understand how pre-hrt, pretrans people on twitter identify with being a trans woman while i can’t identify with trans-anything what’s their secret???

>>38611426
I hope you get to girlmode sooner than you think naoto i know the struggle especially with family :/

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>>38611547
i went to a trans therapist and she basically called me out on my boymoding and it helped a lot! but at the same time, i still honestly struggle when it comes to the feel of not just being some weirdo crossdresser on hrt when i girl mode or use my chosen name, its like a mental barrier i didnt get to cross.
>>38611562
thank u. im still hopeful and i do think ultimately hrt/laser/transition has marginally bettered my view of myself, i just guess i need to build up the confidence or strength to continue?
i hope things get better for u too

>>38611598
yeah… mine just used my guy name and they/them because i said i didn’t care but i was dumb and forgot i was girlmoding, only thing she said though was im "a piece of work" and she gave me discounted prices to see her more often lol so hoping it leads somewhere. but yeah i get the crossdresser part… i basically only girlmode or present any sort of androgyny or femininity indoors and alone so it feels so so much more like regular crossdressing. the fact you’re at least using your chosen name on some mail is a good sign though right??? even if it isn’t sorry i hope you cross it soon, do you think the confidence/strength is just boymoding alone though?

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>>38611688
>do you think the confidence/strength is just boymoding alone though?
definitely not. boymoding i think longterm is just harmful, my dysphoria hasnt gone away, all its really done is damage my internal view of myself.
i put my chosen name bc in the summer i had way more honfidence, i was girlmoding a solid 4/7 days a week and was getting used to it. after that though, my use of my birthname felt more normal when i retreated into boymode again after moving home.
>mine just used my guy name and they/them because i said i didn’t care but i was dumb and forgot i was girlmoding
god i feel this so much. i was only with my trans therapist for 5 sessions since im moving but i was able to get a lot out but at the same time i did feel pressured to say i wanted to be a woman and girlmode more often again. i feel like the more affirmative these therapists are the more i feel less confident to say how i really feel, but if yr going long term it might be a good way to feel things out?
idk for me my primary issue will always be physical dysphoria, the social transition stuff can never really fix that and wearing gendered clothes often makes it worse. not sure how im going to correct it myself.

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>>38611426
no pressure to transition socially ofc
ik how horiffic that can be

>>38611408
depends on the point of view i guess
to most others? when you start passing
to yourself? when you accept it
to me? if you are dysphoric
i don't think you rly care about being heckin' valid or whatevs
but imo we're all just girls mutilated by T

>>38611547
i don't like the word and i avoid it when i can

my mom said i'm her reincarnated aborted daughter lol, would make sense...
even if i don't believe my mom, i still don't believe i was ever male, i'm just a girl stuck in some boys body, who i now have to forcefem

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>>38611781
i want to social transition one day but theres a big part of me that thinks im never gonna get there. like im not really certain i want it or strong or confident enough to do it. girlmoding is usually ok, but its like a one off high, doing it fulltime feels like such an intense commitment and id feel so much consistent pressure to always be perfectly womanlike, when i dont even know if thats necessarily me. ive been thinking of myself as an mtf theyfab lately bc it feels liek thats my objective nowadays as opposed to becoming some doll

>>38611761
>boymoding i think longterm is just harmful, my dysphoria hasnt gone away, all its really done is damage my internal view of myself.
yeah… i get that i wish i could stop this instant but it’s not that easy. do you feel it’s simply family maybe family causing it or more like falling back into your old life since moving home? im out to parents (unwillingly) and it feels like living the same day from 3 or 4 years ago over and over when im with them making me guymode.
>i feel like the more affirmative these therapists are the more i feel less confident to say how i really feel
oh yeah so many trans therapists have very set ideas on how a transition should be and can be really pushy and stubborn with it im sorry. this one is a lot more reciprocative to i guess different interpretations of dysphoria (I said I prefer to acknowledge it like a mental illness and i was surprised she was ok with it) so i hope if i see her for a while or progress will be made. not to be pushy sorry but how long on hrt are you? i know it’s different for everyone but the line between physical and social dysphoria just dropped for me after enough time and passing is less of a concern unless it’s regarding safety.

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>>38611843
also
>ive been thinking of myself as an mtf theyfab lately
is painfully relatable

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Hey someone made a thread earlier today about Uruguay boymoders, but it didn't get much traction. If anyone here is from (or planning to move to) Uruguay and would like to chat here's my discord:
hircose
Would be nice to get a server going if there's enough of us, you don't even need to be a boymoder.

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>>38611881
>not to be pushy sorry but how long on hrt are you?
16 months, im hopeful with more time itll reduce but as of now its still pretty high
>interpretations of dysphoria (I said I prefer to acknowledge it like a mental illness and i was surprised she was ok with it) so i hope if i see her for a while or progress will be made
oh thats really good! i was worried when i said i view being trans/dysphoric as an affliction. i was a little worried to get to into depth on my dysphoria bc i didnt want to spill out my worms and accidentally hurt her. idk i was in awe of her ability to just be fully transitioned, it was still nice even if i dont know if social transition is the answer for me.
>do you feel it’s simply family maybe family causing it or more like falling back into your old life since moving home?
definitely. i knew i was trans way back in april 2020, and wanted to start hrt in 2021, but i put it off because i knew if i was livng with them id be deathly afraid to progress or move forward. i still feel like that dysphoric 21 year old when im with them, hiding a big secret. granted i dont tell them much, like i never told them i was gay either. but i still feel like a complete letdown to them and being around them impacts how i see myself and my future
>>38611891
i unironically feel like this is my future even post ffs. i really feel like an innate discomfort when ppl try to affirm me, i know ffs is not a silver bullet but like the affirmation or asking pronouns or all that stuff ends up making me feel like an alien instead of a woman :(

>>38611996
Uruguayan boymoders*

>>38611999
>i really feel like an innate discomfort when ppl try to affirm me
nta but yeah it really sucks, i will never escape this body of mine and things like that just remind me that before anything else i will always be Male

>>38611999
roughly 2 years for me it snapped and treating my social dysphoria became more important than physical dysphoric. tbf i live in an area where being an androgynous twinky guy is probably as dangerous as presenting as a visible tranny so I don’t even get the benefit of the former that often. I do hope just with time the fog clears some more and you can make a decision regarding your social transition.
>granted i dont tell them much, like i never told them i was gay either
yeah… only asked me if I was gay nearly a decade after I told them as a kid and they denied it then found my hrt hiding spot after that. it’s a really awful feeling even if they tolerate the compromise. do you think physical distance might help/helps? idk im starting to accept I likely need to create a whole new life to transition socially as no one I know approves of it, and that includes maybe moving as far away as possible idk :/
>i unironically feel like this is my future even post ffs
is ffs something you have planned and is making you worry more sorry?

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>>38612088
>tbf i live in an area where being an androgynous twinky guy is probably as dangerous as presenting as a visible tranny so I don’t even get the benefit of the former that often
gahh that sucks :(
>only asked me if I was gay nearly a decade after I told them as a kid
i just remember being constantly asked about it bc i never showed any real interest in dating or girls. i was pretty deeply repressed after being fagbashed/harassed/bullied in middle school and being told that i should never tell anyone im gay at age 11...
>do you think physical distance might help/helps
absolutely does. i dont even think i would have gotten the confidence to be outwardly gay if i was still living with them, as i got older i moved past a lot of that and started to make decisions for myself with HRT and laser being the first real decisions i made for me and only me.
but ultimately, moving away and creating a new life where people dont know me as a male or a gay twink or whatever, is probably the best for me.
>is making you worry more sorry
yeah, i plan on consulting for it this summer ideally. i know that its a completely heavy commitment but i also dont know how much longer i can see my male face in the mirror.
>>38612058
its like a knife in my stomach :( im hardly accepting of it for myself, then it becomes a huge thing. i wish id just be left alone and have ppl use they/them when i ask them to but even thats a problem

>>38612164
im v tired and going to bed now sorry but I really hope your ffs planning goes well <3 im not sure when moving out is a possibility for you again but I do hope it’s soon. I’ll hopefully see you around again and ttyl

>>38612188
nighto!
>when moving out is a possibility for you again but I do hope it’s soon
im actually moving tomorrow :p
see you! ill be here so long as bmg is here

>>38611996
i have family there in maldonado or punta del este always mix them up but uruguay seems a very good country wish i could live there even tho ppl says its a bit expensive

>>38612269
Maldonado is a department (state), Maldonado City is the capital city, but Punta Del Este is the city that draws more tourism. In terms of quality of life yeah I guess we're better of that most countries in the region, but it is expensive, and if you don't live in the country's only metropolis you basically might as well live in the middle of nowhere lol.

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late night bump !

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morning bump

started watching squid game s2
apparently we have decent trans representation there?
idk, still too early to judge, but she's is played by a tall cisguy who barely fagvoices :c

>>38612199
oh that’s terrific ! sorry I probably missed you saying that T_T
>>38614830
idk I’ve caught a bit of it while my brothers watching and I think it’s good representation. I really appreciate positive depictions of trans women who don’t exactly have "ideal" transitions (are unpassing or unattractive or can’t afford hrt or surgery) and I think it’s easier and more logical to have a cis man play the part if he takes great care with it rather than forcing a trans actress to basically detrans for the role. it pissed me off so much on twitter seeing trannies complain about it not because a cis guy was cast (which I can respect that complaint) but because she’s clocky or bricky or ugly it’s like I just want to slap them, they don’t get representing trans people on screen means representing everyone including the ones you hate for not passing like you.