File: IMG_0052.jpg (98 KB, 654x754)

98 KB JPG

Yesterday was a black day, I spent it trying to do therapy for other anons on this board for some reason and it crushed me by the end of it. I don’t think I’m even good at it what’s the point. Things are so bleak for the people I relate to the most.

>>38570450
>I spent it trying to do therapy for other anons on this board for some reason and it crushed me by the end of it
I end up trying to do that sometimes to. I honestly don't know if I actually even care or if I'm just doing it to feel better about myself.

>>38570364
why is the repfuel a loli. do reppers want to transform into lolis???

File: e191cfa5b9cd7085088774d59(...).png (936 KB, 644x644)

936 KB PNG

>>38570692

>>38570692
The repping is a disguised longing for lost youth, and also pedophilia

>>38570692
because she never got to grow up I guess? idk I didn't make the image
>>38570731
it's a sad sickly looking loli not a sexualized loli

>>38570364
I got myself a pretty nice mezcal over the holidays and enjoyed that. unfortunately I just black out whenever I drink alone so normally I just buy some random bottom shelf adjacent shit so can't give any real recommendations
my oral fin/min showed up today. excited to be the kind of person who just immediately loses all of my hair because of it so I can be fully doomed

>>38570364
take your pills, retards

>>38570450
are you the one that was trying to pinkpill a bunch of people yesterday?

>>38570836
I'm 6"2 and 29

>>38570857
No, I make a point out of not doing that.

pleaseeeeeeee give me a job pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>38570833
>the kind of person who just immediately loses all of my hair because of it
wtf is that a thing that can happen??? I've been scared of starting fin/duta because my hair is still good for the moment and I don't wanna become dependent on it just incase I were to ever lose access, but I had no idea that was even a possibility. Scary.

>>38570889
your dysphoria doesn't care

File: repgen.png (40 KB, 160x216)

40 KB PNG

>>38570903

>>38570903
you're fired.

>>38570836
go away chudette, this is my kingdom, you and the "why not be a fem gay?" guy are not allowed

>>38570906
Yeah but I have other mental health issues that being a hon would exasperate, and I would lose close family. I am too unstable

>>38570913
a peasant does not have a kingdom

>>38570904
ya apparently it's possible for the shed period to just not stop and end up more bald. my shit's already fucked and my younger brother's is worse so I have to at least try

>>38570928
it is a kingdom of peasants and i am like the peasant chief, no pills allowed here, only suffering

>>38570938
I've been on fin for 9 months and gone through a few waves of shedding, it was really bad the first time but the regrowth in its place over time was well worth it

Anyone else rep because they're too LAZY to transition?

It just seems like too much of a hassle for what it's worth

>>38570975
yea that's probably what's going to happen, more fun to make myself anxious according to the theme of the thread though
how long was your hair when you started? I'm a bit past shoulder length rn and a bit worried the shed/regrow layers will mean I have to buzz it at some point

>>38570938
well that's terrifying
good luck anon
I've thought about preemptively starting because all the men on my mother's side tend to lose their hair, but I dunno. I haven't had any signs yet and am already a bit older than all of them were when it started, plus on my father's side even my 85yo grandpa has a full head of hair. I just know that I 100% do not want to live anymore if I ever go bald.

File: __haruhara_haruko_flcl_dr(...).jpg (1.24 MB, 1339x1803)

1.24 MB JPG

the one rl friend i have keeps sending me pictures and videos of me and i fucking hate it
how do i stop this

>>38571010
mine was shoulder length and I had to buzz it

>>38570857
that might've been me

>>38571174
kinda figured, that's gonna be unpleasant. will probably wait for the first real shed because it's not 100% guaranteed to be bad, right?
>>38571048
yea idk how the genetics of it are supposed to work although all of the men I remember on either side of my family weren't that bad off but I started losing my hair in college and I'm norwood 3 at 27. maybe you'll just be fine though

>>38571266
>it's not 100% guaranteed to be bad
it's not, very much a YMMV thing

i sometimes wish to have a theyfab or femrepper gf so we could be weird together but i think such relationships are bound to fail

>>38572137
Do femreppers have lower standards than cis foids, that is the question.

being a 5'5 mtf repper on hrt isn’t so bad

/repgen/ you can thank me later but ive made it my goal to save you sorry sons of bitches


>>38570982
Youre totally right

What about just being gay?

>>38573172
gtfo

>>38571054
you’re just that photogenic

>>38570364
i started hormones at 25 and i pass at 26, its never too late

Reply to this post if you have Anime Dysphoria Disorder (You want to be an anime girl, not a real life girl)

>>38575699
no i think he just wants to make me sad and angry because he knows how upsetting seeing myself is

>>38576122
Isn’t he supposed to be your friend? lots of, yes, male friendship is about pushing eachothers boundaries until the other person draws a red line just so you understand what the playing field is. Just tell him to stop.

File: C49843F7.jpg (942 KB, 1920x1080)

942 KB JPG

>>38576090

File: 61896624.jpg (984 KB, 842x1274)

984 KB JPG

>>38576090
I have 3D phobia. I won't even read a book if it has a real person on the front. I want cartoon/anime girls only.

File: phil.png (681 KB, 2340x1080)

681 KB PNG

>>38576181
>>38576216

It's an honor to be joined by real men, AND NOT COCK SUCKING AGP BITTERHON LIKE WHAT TRIED TO PINKPILL ME. THEY SHOULD FUCKIN DIE

File: 6841616841.jpg (868 KB, 1920x960)

868 KB JPG

>>38576244
pinkpillers think they understand us but they never will. They are ignorant of our plight. They can fix their dysphoria with hormones. Our dysphoria cannot be fixed because what we want doesn't exist in this reality. It can only ever exist in our imagination, just out of reach.

you are 30 Mike, anime is for children..

>>38576171
>Just tell him to stop.
can't really risk it though
what if he leaves and i'm left completely alone?

File: 8461534.jpg (752 KB, 1920x2160)

752 KB JPG

>>38576296
36 actually and anime is timeless because I refuse to grow up.

>>38576322
oh, Mike.. good lord heavens..

File: 8iChiiw.jpg (2.47 MB, 4096x3584)

2.47 MB JPG

>>38576356
I'll die before I let anyone shame me out of one of the few things that gives me happiness. If I'm still alive at 80 I'll still be watching anime.

>>38576370
Keyed

>>38576370
based, do whatever makes you happy Michelle, don t let anyone bring you down, i don t really care abt it desu

File: IMG_9289.jpg (25 KB, 349x349)

25 KB JPG

wait your bone structure keeps changing until 30? that’s crazy.

>>38576575
Technically your bone structure continues to change up till your 70s.

File: 82730ac491d03fc55222ad236(...).jpg (163 KB, 722x1201)

163 KB JPG

Hello what is this thread now? I thought the fagboard would not be so gloomy.
But I guess we all have our plights, like how I was and never will be a proper man and I am a khhv neet. It's all so tiresome.
>t. Turned 31 recently, tiny build and 150cm.

>>38576625
>Male reppers post anime girls
>female reppers most anime girls

what up with dat

File: 74bf8ac09e6f9da0fc865d044(...).jpg (61 KB, 735x553)

61 KB JPG

>>38576629
I'm not a reppers of any kind, I am a male with a dick.

File: hug.png (841 KB, 2048x2048)

841 KB PNG

>>38576629
anime girls are attractive and live perfect lives and aren't 3d and never have any problems and have perfect bodies

>>38576629
Anime girls are just peak culture. If we ever reach the AI utopian future we'll all be living as anime girls in virual reality

>>38576625
This is the sad thread, also I saw the thread you made. Why are you posting here instead of /r9k/ or something?

>>38576629
cis men post more anime than trannies.
look at /v/

if i don't get this job I'm giga fucked
and they're taking their sweet fucking time getting back to me

File: 9f589ea47ece33ff6fcf92772(...).jpg (90 KB, 736x981)

90 KB JPG

>>38576693
People were mean to me in my thread on r9k and it made me feel overwhelmed so I wanted to cool off that board for a few days...

>>38576706
>Job

LMAO
I gave up on working completely. I'm 32, NEVER WORKED A FUCKING JOB IN MY LIFE, NO HIGHSCHOOL DIPLOMA, NO LICENSE. I do not give a single nanoscale fuck.

Rot to the day I die.

>>38576708
This board is usually pretty welcoming except for when larry has a breakdown and starts insulting everyone

>>38576706
you’ve been posting about it for like a month, has nothing happened in that time?

god i wish i were a cute girl

File: bocchi seppuku.webm (340 KB, 400x400)

340 KB WEBM

>>38576090
A real life girl would still be a huge upgrade but yeah
>>38576269
3dpdysphoria

>>38576625
>>38576649
I really wish I had your frame, looking at my body is so disgusting that it makes me want to die
>t. hulking 6'2 repperbeast

File: b61f7385080668b1097b361a8(...).jpg (63 KB, 736x1009)

63 KB JPG

>>38577976
I'm so fragile and small nobody would want my body. I'm barely above legal worldwide midget status.
I guess though you would like people mistaking you for a female because of said build.

File: __tsukishima_shijima_s_si(...).jpg (383 KB, 1411x1334)

383 KB JPG

>>38576629
Anime girls are a perceptible manifestation of the divine form, anyone with a soul can appreciate that.

>>38578056
beat it dawg, go away

>>38578056
I understand anon, I'm sure it's not enjoyable for you. It's a shame we can't just swap.

>>38577738
im trying to build up hype for the inevitable "i didn't get the job" post

Gonna be real I can't be happy for other people and I secretly hope they don't get what they want.

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

i fluctuate between ,,iwn be happy" and ,,a guy might find me cute one day if i start hrt now" every other day this is a miserable existence

>no anime boobs
>no anime vagina
>no anime world where i'm the main character
>no anime super powers

i don't know why i even bother coming here
it's like getting fired from a job and hanging around the offices

>STILL not a girl with wings

>>38576706
are you in the interview process
what's so good about this job anyways? location? pay?
t. waiting to see if i even get an interview

>>38576713
working lets me buy things and hypothetically if nanobots that turn people into gigastacy cyborgs exist they're not gonna be cheap

>>38578243
don't we all

File: GeJDJBMWoAAXi4K.jpg (97 KB, 681x1000)

97 KB JPG

>>38578407
>are you in the interview process
no, but if i get offered an interview i'll very likely get the job.

It's an entry level job in a niche industry(in my country at least) that happens to be only marketable skill i have, getting it would help me get my life back on track after 6 years of neetdom.
I probably won't get the interview tho because hiring people hate chronic neets.

File: 1611505903079.png (2.28 MB, 1062x800)

2.28 MB PNG

I told my parents about my thoughts and it went…fine?

>>38578804
why even bother
I put it out all my teen years because I was a coward I can keep it to myself for another 50 years

>>38578925
I’m stunned, why did I hold it in for so long? They support me in seeking psychiatric help and such.Things…can get better?

>>38579113
eh dont get too hyped up psychiatric help doesnt do shit for most reppers

>>38579113
yeah not everyone has your exact situation

>>38579126
Well it’s better than nothing, besides the support means more to me
>>38579128
Yeah I understand, but until an hour ago I thought they’d disown me.

If you told a therapist you were trans they would just tell you to transition. (after gaslighting you)

>>38579564
can't know until you try, you know

>>38570364
What a dreadfully depressing image!
Got any more?

>>38578804
>>38579113
congrats, that's awesome anon

im going to kill myself
i genuinely regret that i wasn't born as someone better who could spread love in this world but it's okay, i've accepted everything

It's been 33 years. Can I stop wanting to be female every day now?

>>38582291
just transition you dumb retard

>>38582338
I don't want to be a creep. I'm barely able to mentally keep myself together now. I don't think I could handle the extra stress of anything else going on in my life.

>>38582480
is your life really that good as is? are you actually content?

>>38582507
No, I'm miserable.

>>38582526
fuck it all then, just transition
if it goes bad you can just rope

AGP and being clinically online have destroyed my life in every way possible. This led me to substance abuse, self-harm, and the destruction of myself, mentally and physically. The only thing I can do is ignore this plague and pretend I never went through what I went through. Currently, I can't even tell if I still have AGP or if my brain is sabotaging me into thinking I do. I don't know what I really am anymore. I've said other times here that my AGP has completely cooled off as my body has matured and become nothing remotely feminine. But I look back and see that boy who was happy dreaming and having orgasms and I'm sad because his dream didn't come true, and I'm sad that I can't dream anymore. Sad because I couldn't show the world who I wanted to be.

>>38582606
agp is just a cope to invalidate your tranny feelings feelings

>>38582706
not him but im unironically just agp, focusing on sex too much has given me a complex where the idea of being a woman seems so much more fun than being a man even though i know that cant really be true it just seems that way

>>38579113
>>38579564
>going to TheRapist

>>38582706
Are you really sure? I thought cis people could have ‘female embodiment fantasies’.

can you give me a job?

>>38585426
You're hired.
You are now the eternal sentinel of repgen, purposed to ever watch over the poor forsaken souls doomed to this place.

I hate how ritalin makes the tranny thoughts so much worse but it's the only way I manage to get work done.
>>38582606
Im kind of the same. Im a lot more goal driven while I'm repping. I'm pretty well off financially, giving into the tranny thoughts seems like it would lead to a life of poverty and bedrotting like so many trannies on this board. But I mourn the loss of being more authentic and happier I guess.
Idk for me, calling it AGP seems kind of cope because there's not really a strong sexual component. If someone were to stick me on a desert island with a bunch of tranny drugs I would just troon out. I don't think I would really hesitate if it weren't for the need to interact with the external world.
>>38582706
That seems true desu. Maybe it's easier to invalidate your internal sense of femininity when you call it agp idk.
>>38579564
Sucks but there's no actual therapy for this aside from gender affirming care. They won't tell you ways to cope because they think having to cope with the external world is stupid.

>>38585514
i already do that.. i am repgod, i will never troon out..

>>38585527
but now you must do that with newfound purpose, this is your task

>>38585520
I wonder if my long term refusal to take Ritalin kinda stemmed from trying to expel the thoughts from my head.

>>38585520
The pinkpill is real anon

>>38585914
yeah like it's easier to cope when your brain is fully adhd'd out

Have you ever dated a gay guy?

>>38586086
No I’m straight, but my sexuality is fucked because you know so I can never act on it.

>>38570364
living in thirdie is glorious . i wish i could kms

>>38587012
time to become an asylum seeker as an oppressed t. ranny

i feel so horrible, pls kill me..

i also feel horrible, encourage me..

>>38587458
Aren’t you trans what brings you to repgen

>>38587540
i am looking for a repper twink to piss on me
or shit on me, that is fine too, i got hard on both of them

I'm a gay guy in the closet. Used to hate it but now I am quite happy with my situation.

>>38587540
repper at heart, looks like a man still
probably going off hrt anyway don't wanna inject anymore
>>38587572
hmm?
you got some kinda issue with me, punk?
i feel that scat thing was too stinky to allow, so fuck you and the mom you rode on in

We’re all chill with each other right? We’re kindred spirits.

thinking of doing the ultimate form of repping... idc anymore

>>38588378
that's how I feel

>>38588430
>ultimate form of repping
what is that

>>38588512
wife and kids

>>38588875
you better be 6 feet tall, hot, good salary, be always stoic strong not emotional or show any weakness and a good size dick or you can t even do that..

>>38589073
half of us reppers are have chad bodies but have been struck down by the tranny mind virus so there’s a good chance.

>>38589073
my dick only ever gets hard thinking about getting handled by a man so thats out of the question for me. i hope my parents are fine with not getting grandkids from me lel

>almost 33
>kissless virgin
>was too late to troon out at 17 when i first found out about tranny shit
>too masculine and ugly to live out agp fantasies where i can crossdress and fuck dudes
>don't even actually even like dudes just like the idea of one treating me like a woman when they fuck me and probably wouldn't be able to dissociate to not just realize what i am doing is gay and disgusting since i'm a fully grown hairy man
>every time i fap to straight porn i just wish i was in the woman's place
>vagina envy getting worse with age
>neo vaginas are horrific nightmares
>my body is a horrific flesh prison and i can never just be a normal female version of myself
>my sexuality will absolutely never be normal and i will always be a confused faggot who wishes he could be a woman and fuck dudes so it wouldn't be gay
>don't even like gay porn
i wish my brain wasn't broken and i was just gay or straight. i wish something in me didn't break when i was a kid that fucked me up permanently and equated all forms of horniness and being turned on with wanting a female body. i am a freak i hate myself my brain will never unfuck itself. i'm so sick and tired of hiding and feeling like a mistake and never even entertaining the idea of doing anything remotely sexual with anyone irl because my sexuality doesn't fit my body at all and never will. i can never talk to anyone about it and just have to be sexually frustrated my entire life because i'm a crazy person.

>>38588512
sui

>>38589523
there's places online, but yeah it does suck

ah fuck why am i getting an urge to impulsively inject E

come over and i'll let you have my vial

>>38589541
not really any point in talking about anything like this when it's impossible for me to have a female body. i'm near totally numb to the idea of ever transitioning because i know it wouldn't do anything for me, it wouldn't have 16 years ago either. it just sucks my entire sexually is focused around perverted impossible fantasies i got hooked on as a kid for whatever reason. none of my sexuality is rooted in reality, i don't know the first thing about being a woman, i can't relate to women, i've never been close to a woman or had a female friend but i'm perverted and disgusting enough to always be obsessed with the idea of having a female body for no reason other than probably some fucked up innate fetish because my brain is wired wrong and i wasn't supposed to be born.

i don't even like men either i just use them as some weird faceless stand in stunt cock in my fantasies because along with my sick sexist fetish regarding wishing i had a female body i also have a penis fetish despite never doing anything with men. nothing about my sexuality is real or legitimate, i went from a confused retarded kid with a perverted agp sexuality to an even more disgusting perverted porn addicted adult man with agp and a penis fetish. i shouldn't exist and my sexuality is never going to change clearly.

>>38589810
okay now quit crying and go do something else

>>38589523
im sorry anon i relate

>>38589821
i do 99% of the time. i just come here to vent like 2-3 times a year because i'm an ugly retarded shut in with no friends. i know i'm not even fit to post on this board because in reality i'm just an ugly straight dude with a gross fetish. i can't relate to any fag or tranny because in real life nothing about me is faggy. i'm just a coward who will never be able to act like i wish i could because i'll always be an ugly masculine dude. too cowardly, neurotic, and ugly for women and not feminine enough to be anything but masc presenting. i just vent about shit that's impossible to change or cope with here because irl i would just sound insane to anyone because i am probably a bit schizophrenic or something.

ngl if it wasn’t for the shoulders I’d make it

>>38589580
duta not doing it for you?

File: hold on its not that bad (...).jpg (24 KB, 500x536)

24 KB JPG

>Jan 14: Just need to start voicetraining
>Jan 15: Just need to start voicetraining
>Jan 16: Just need to start voicetraining
>...


Anyone know this feel?

>>38589523
>>38589810
>>38589884
>was too late to troon out at 17 when i first found out about tranny shit
man am I glad I trooned during my early 20s, in the late 2010s, when I already thought it was too late, but got lucky and it eventually turned out it wasn't too late.
having romantic and sexual relationships with dudes is pretty great, their bodies are weirdly warm and I like it when they cuddle me. Once you like a dude and you kiss and you drain his balls and you spend the night together, you're sorta tied and you like how he smells and he seems even cuter to you.
tried being with women when repping and it never clicked
>inb4 humblebrag
yeah idgaf, if you don't want passing trannies to post in your thread, don't create it on the most famous english speaking tranny board

>>38593478
>turned out it wasn't too late.
Post pic and prove it, hon

>>38593652
>I am a bjtterhon anon who doesn't believe you pass and called you a HON, aren't you TRIGGERED now and wanna doxx yourself for my pleasure?
yeah, no, thanks, tried that before and other bitterhons tried to make my life worse.
I just wanna thank you anons because most of this board is zoomers and the generation after them, and I'm mogged by youngshits like that who weren't disowned by their family and didn't go through trauma caused by repression. So when I'm going through difficult times I check out your thread to remind myself why I made the seemingly irrational decision to troon all those years ago

>>38593807
I'm glad youre happy anon. Your courage and determination to be true to yourself and live authentically are truly inspiring. Coming out of repression and embracing your true identity is a significant and empowering journey. As you embark on this new chapter, remember that you have a community that supports and celebrates you. Your strength and resilience are a testament to your character, and I hope you continue to thrive and find happiness in your true self.

>>38589523
21y and I totally relate. But because I stopped masturbating to porn, it made AGP bearable. Unfortunately I still get sad when I see a woman on social media or in real life.

Furthermore, I'm resigned to knowing that I'm just another guy who will pass through this earth without having fulfilled himself, like so many others. And having the repgen helps me a lot to realize that I'm not alone. Deep down, these sexual desires are just another way to fill the existential void. Some people make it, some don't, but there's still so much more in the world.

>>38570364
i've been on HRT and i'm afraid i might regret this desu.

I'm wondering if maybe i should detransition. I've been on for about two years and I don't pass. I haven't socially transitioned and remained a boymoder.
I don't want to live a life where I don't pass and where hate is so focused on trans ppl especially.

I want to be included in gay male culture specifically but im locked out of it if I stay trans. I can't go to "parties" or fuck my gay male friends.

If you were a gay dude, and you saw a twink with tits and a dick, would you be turned off?

>>38594772
I'm not a gay man, but I would feel a little envious.

In my view there are as many gays as there are fetishists who would be interested in you.

>>38594772
>If you were a gay dude, and you saw a twink with tits and a dick, would you be turned off?
I'm a gay man, and that wouldn't be an automatic dealbreaker.

>>38594772
Is not being able to get aids from random degenerates at an orgy really worth living a life of total misery? If you end up like us you'll probably be disgusted by the idea of having sex in your body anyway.
Also this isn't the thread for you gtfo

I don’t care who posts in this thread.

hello

File: 寝・逃・げでFLASH CASANOVA.png (751 KB, 677x677)

751 KB PNG

>>38578804
Congrats, must feel good. I can't tell my mum because I've been repping so hard I hid my feelings behind 100 layers of irony. Anything I say to her now she can't tell if I'm being serious and she'd just think I was taking the piss. I don't trust myself to not break down crying in the middle of telling her anyway.

>>38595347
I’m gonna be honest anon the near crying helped my case

How would you as a represser handle living in a society where public nudity is the norm/common?

To me it sounds awful, but I also can’t help but wonder if it wouldn’t alleviate our pain in some way.

>>38595981
I dont wanna cry in front of my mum because then she'll cry and I'll feel guilty for making her sad.

>>38595328
hii

>>38595328
what's up dawg

>>38596267
How would that help.

>>38589523
Literally me. Except I'm a couple years older, and I had sex with a couple women when I was younger.

>>38595328
hi hi

>>38597471
I think it might remove a lot of the stigma around our own naked bodies as well as the putting on a pedestal of the opposite sex naked bodies. It would also only work if you were born into that society, I don’t think it would do anything for us now. Idk though, maybe I’m just dumb and we’d be 10x more miserable if people saw our nude bodies all the time.

>>38598031
it wouldnt remove stigma at all, it would be a society where ugly and old people are absolutely vilified and shown disgust openly while attractive people flaunt themselves constantly. it would be an absolute nightmare

>>38598096
This is not how it works at all in reality. We can see various examples of culture where nudity is common, and they don’t behave like that.

>>38598120
what cultures? tribal cultures? western societies are hyper competitive and sex obsessed, the body is already a symbol of status, why make that reality even worse

>>38594772
i'm a gay guy who's been on and off hormones too. basically there are two things that scare the shit out of me
the first is twinkdeath, male aging and the effects of testosterone in general. this pushes me towards hormones
the second is being an unpassing tranny freak. this obviously pushes me towards repressing
i don't know how to avoid both of these fears other than eternal boymode, which has its own drawbacks as you know
shit sucks and i don't have the answers

>>38598167
Yes tribal cultures. I’m not talking about western society. Clearly we have unhealthy views about the human body. I wonder if these unhealthy views are a cause of gender dysphoria in many people who have it.

>>38598177
ive just come to terms with the fact i hate the effects of both hormones, masculinization is obviously disgusting, but so is feminization of a masculinized body. being a tranny is no improvement over being a man, im not the kind of person who is just thrilled about being basically a grown man with tits. for what? to have slightly less body hair and facial hair, be castrated and basically look almost the same?

it just sucks that we are who we are, we have no choice in it. hormones are a trap that make you think you can change it, but you're just going down a path of hitting your head against a wall

>>38598177
Perhaps you're just afraid of aging in general.

being a tranny is just the endgame of neoliberal society. the society of self-exploitation. a group of lonely young men look at themselves and feel worthless and so they do the only thing this society encourages, reinvent yourself. if you fail at being a man, well just stop being a man! if you feel disgusting take any hormone and spend your money on any surgery to make it go away.

perhaps if i lived in any other time i wouldnt feel this way, i would just accept myself, i wouldnt feel like i have to be better than what i was born to be just to have a happy existence. but this is all there is.

>>38598228
i don't think so. it's specifically the masculinization associated with male aging that freaks me out

it's amazing how fucked my life is. even if you subtract the troon madness I still have 100 other problems and no way to fix them. Poor, dumb, old, mental and physical health problems out the ass.

truly over beyond all doubt

>>38598488
this happens to a lot of people, the problems just pile up with time and you have less energy and willpower to fix them and then you're in the middle of your life with nothing, every old person i see looks tired and like they are just going through the motions

>>38598502
yeah pretty much anon. pretty fucking much. I tried to get therapy too. I tried to fix it. But too many things are wrong at once.

The hard part is just accepting it. I feel like there's gotta be a solution right? But nope there isn't. You have to find joy in little things and not worry about tomorrow

File: IMG_20241130_131637.jpg (1.62 MB, 1936x3647)

1.62 MB JPG

It's over

>>38598546
>these are the people who i supposedly share a plight with

have you tried being overworked, stressed and busy all the time

it's pretty funny that even if i took every possible step to transition i would still just look like a weird ugly dude. i fully accept my situation that transitioning is impossible i just wish i could rewire my brain to have a regular sexuality. how am i ever supposed to be honest with anyone about how i am when my sexual awakening was just transformation fantasies about becoming a girl? i never had the correct sexuality form in my most important impressionable years and it genuinely fucked up my brain for life. i don't have a choice other than to go through life without any sort of romance or intimacy because of this and it makes me want to kill myself. i had a boring normal childhood too nothing abnormal happened to me just instead of seeing sexy women as a kid and being attracted to them i was attracted to the idea of becoming them. i don't understand how this is fair and i obsess over the fact that life has fucked me over so hard in this area in particular. i will never get over it. such an essential part of the human experience i am forever going to be denied just because i'm a freak with a defective broken brain.

File: 7a0uvb.png (43 KB, 224x224)

43 KB PNG

>>38598488
I didn't understand how people could just resign themselves to misery until I reached the twilight of my 20's. Now, I finally understand. Life just breaks you and you're too worn down to care. This is where hondidence comes from.

>>38599258
>This is where hondidence comes from.

Honfidence comes from being autistic. I have no energy to transition now. No money either.

after a lifetime of being a completely invisible and lonely moid, suddenly after i trooned out a bunch of people wanted to be friends with me, thought i was cute and gave me lots of affection, then this all evaporated when i got depressed and detransitioned. life as a male is just supposed to be painful, its not even dysphoria. feminine people just get treated better and are naturally seen as lovable.

>>38598488
same, pls kill me

>>38598488
you can unfuck your life, you can gain energy instead of just losing it. I did it. I was doing too well so I had time to think about myself that's why I'm here...

i get flashes of allosexuality, i feel normal
then the agp comes back

>>38598488
My problem is the dysphoria cascades. I'd rather not speak if it's as a male voice. I'm not comfortable being seen, etc. I've only ever been productive when I was trooning out tbhon

>>38599864
the only way i'd feel normal is if i was born female. just impossible otherwise.

how can i get a job if i didn t work in almost two years?
what can i even put on the cv for shitty jobs?
i can t like put my studies or one year experience as a programmer, i just leave it empty or what?

File: IMG_1581.jpg (851 KB, 1614x2048)

851 KB JPG

It’s not quite over but I know I’ll hesitate until it is completely over.

>>38599898
same so much
i have to disassociate hard to ignore my voice for instance and as soon i realize how male it it i just go mute lol

>>38599836
rare britfeel x repgen crossover, quite possibly the 2 most depressing recurring threads online

>haven't been on the board proper in ages
>person in passgen who almost looks exactly like me if i decided to troon out
>doesn't pass for shit and generally looks awful
yeah. seems about right. i don't think i've ever seen someone similar to me face harmony/proportions wise pass. it's just too overwhelmingly masculine in every single aspect. giant forehead with obvious browbone, large midface and philtrum, large nose, tiny ass mouth and lips, tiny eyes. truly over and i've always known it. it's why i rarely come here even if i relate a lot to people here. what is the point when ruminating over this stuff will never change anything. i will never be feminine in any way whatsoever and will always be an obvious man no matter what i do. i can't believe someone like me lookswise was cursed with this brain it is a cosmic joke that i feel like this and nothing will ever make it go away. just ignoring and denying it puts it in the back of my mind but i will never not wish i was a woman. not even out of a sane or proper desire either just because the idea of having a female body makes me horny and feel good because i'm a deranged pervert loser.

>>38600175
Say you were caring for a sick relative, they can't exactly ask for proof

>>38600479
i am like 23, i can t really have that much empty..

going to the conscription center made me dysphoric again
how do i fix this

>>38600608
tell them to address you with miss, that would fix your dysphoria

File: GbhCS59bAAATdhH.jpg (117 KB, 1975x1344)

117 KB JPG

>>38576090
Congrats, you figured me out

>>38599644
That sucks, maybe you came out of your shell more when transitioning?

i don't know how any repper can do anything but rotmaxx if you're able to. i feel like nothing i've done or do will ever matter past, present, or future because i wasn't born a cis female and i can't transition successfully. if i can spend my entire life as an isolated NEET wizard on disability i will do so. i don't care about what happens. i don't care about myself or others. i will just enjoy escapism and ignore the majority of the world and life until i'm not able to for whatever reason.

i don't have any drive or passion in any field and i hate people so i'm incapable of working or finding a career i'd enjoy. if i dated a woman i'd be too jealous of her and if i dated a man i wouldn't want to do anything with him because i'm not a faggot and all my fantasies with men are as a woman. therefore i will stay alone and i will never work. nobody would want to interact with me anyways i am boring and miserable and have absolutely nothing worth saying to anyone about anything. i just exist. unable to go forward in any fashion in any way and i will just be depressed and alone my entire one existence because my brain hates me and malfunctioned at conception or sometime during childhood. nobody will remember me when i die and i'm happy about that because i'm not someone who has ever or will ever do anything worth remembering.

>>38599748
>you can unfuck your life,

no I really can't. stop getting your life perspective from hollywood movies

don't care anymore, i just want to die
hate this ugly rotting world i hate everyone in it i hate myself the most. just die

definitely going on nofap again for another 2+ months. back in the mindset where naked women make me insanely jealous and depressed. i haven't been like this in at least 2 years so i dunno what changed. i don't do anything different and i typically don't ruminate over this stuff it just happens randomly. i feel like i'm going to have another nervous breakdown and major panic attack by myself again and have delusional thoughts about getting on hrt again after like almost 5 fucking years of swearing off doing anything transition wise. i know i won't actually do it but i get so terrified and manic about this always being something that comes back or hangs out in the back of my mind constantly and i have to just push it down forever over and over and over and over. thank god i'll never be stable enough to have a wife or kids because i would just be an awful partner and father with this mental illness. i can never be a proper husband or father because i'm too fucked up about being a man and i would always be on edge about potentially losing my shit and trooning out randomly one day. i'm so disgusting.

i don't have the drive or strength to actually attempt to transition but i'll always have this shitty part of me that i hate that will never go away. even if i did give it my all and i did everything right my reward would be just me without facial/body hair and weird cone tits (even if i have the genetics for anything cause my mom is flat). what is the point of going through all that effort when it's not going to actually make you a woman. it's just stamping a huge
>i am a man with a defective brain
sticker permanently on your face. what's the point. i'm already an ugly weirdo nobody wants why would i make my life worse by trooning out.

I think I'm too obsessed with aesthetics to be trans. Never really had pregnancy envy or anything like that, for me the whole longing has always been very visually driven, moments and snapshots of what my female life could hypothetically look and feel like.

File: [SubsPlease] Love Live! S(...).jpg (844 KB, 1920x1080)

844 KB JPG

anime girls are too cute

>>38602381
what? I just told you I did it.

>>38602222
i guess so but there is this kind of sense that just being trans instantly gives you access to a whole group of people who will give you love for basically nothing just because you're one of them. the puppygirl transbian phenomenon is probably the worst aspect of this.

>>38602381
key word there is 'can'. anyone can technically unfuck their life, a chinese rice farmer starving in the death in the cultural revolution potentially CAN unfuck their life, to say nothing about if thats likely or not

>>38605818
Always with the technicalities. But yeah it's possible but the chances are "Getting struck by lightning twice while walking to the convenience store on a cloudless day" unlikely

>>38605561
its weird i think nijigasaki and superstar are really good shows and probably better than what came before, but i yearn for LL's old distinctive artstyle

>>38570364
Is it even dysphoria if i just want to be a cute dainty boy?

>>38606171
Peter Pan sundrome

>>38605561
But imagine if you had an anime vagina and anime boobs?

>>38606177
possibly

working yourself to death might be a good repression strategy
only an idle brain seeks answers home of the devil and all that
work will set you free repbros

do you ever think about how crazy it is that this is your life now? how did it come to this? was it my fault?
i was such a happy, smart kid and then puberty hit me like a fucking truck. so much potential unfulfilled. it's melancholy to think about
instead of puberty turning me into a masculine guy, it turns me into a submissive bitch who wants to be a woman?
how the fuck is that even a thing? how is spending all my energy repressing this bullshit my life now? it's so unfair
i feel sorry for the kid i used to be. he'd be disgusted by freak i've become

>>38607540
>do you ever think about how crazy it is that this is your life now?

sometimes
but it was in no way my fault.

>>38606877
i work full time and it makes everything so much worse, some days it can be hard not to start self harming while at work lol

File: 1737133319438862.png (716 KB, 945x943)

716 KB PNG

there's only one job i really want

>>38607540
truly, i felt like i lost 20 iq points going through puberty
the young child full of energy, brightness, and intelligence is gone and forsaken now for an immorally ascribed goal from a greedy, punishing society

>>38607679
Yeah don't work. Be a NEET and avoid doing as much labor as possible.

>>38607788
i can't function anyway

>>38607898
me neither. if my parents didnt take care of me i would be homeless.

>>38607788
i can t leech off my parents forever, i cannot function at all and barely brush my teeth but i have to find a way to function..

he plays ranked video games with them now
he plays ranked video games with them now
he plays ranked video games with them now
he plays ranked video games with them now

we used to invite each other to play anything new we started. we used to play ranked games with each other all the time, as soon as we could, every time. we used to talk every day. we used to text each other all day, every day.

for years hes known im trans but he never said anything disrespectful about it. he might have had his opinion changed about us when i told him i was. but now when we do talk, he calls things gay and makes fun of them. he even tells me to shut up (it turns me on) and gets mad at me. i thought when these changes first started he was maybe opening up to having feelings for me and wanting to be a bit of a dom but actually, he started talking to someone else and wanted me to take up less of his time, i can tell now. i am just a faggot retard who thought maybe i can be in love with my best friend and be a tranny at the same time but i was wrong. maybe others can find this happiness but now i feel pain whenever i see his name. all of our friends are going to ask me about him when i see them, and he'll never be around again, and all i'll be able to say is 'we're not close anymore'

i dont even know their gender. their profile is pretty feminine so i assume a girl, that would make sense, but maybe its just another trans/gay person and maybe he was really just gay the whole time and now he cant have feelings for me. i am lost and confused and hurt and i wish i took your alls advice and repped forever.

if i detrans, am i a repper again, or will i just be waiting for suicide?

>>38607953
>if i detrans, am i a repper again, or will i just be waiting for suicide?

Yes
Repper means you are trans but you don't take cross-sex hormones. A detransitioner is a repressor.

>>38607953
very similar thing happened with one of my friends, except he just up and ghosted me one day
feels bad anon :'( hugs

>>38607967
will detransitioning fix it i dont know how i went this long without realizing i was in love with him i just want to go back

>>38607971
i don't think it'll fix it anon
he cannot unknow what he knows now
i wish i could too just say "haha all of that girl stuff was a joke" and talk to my friend again like it used to be, but alas

>>38607988
ok thank u for the comfort

im going to compare every man i ever meet to him and theyll never be the same

>>38607930
or just forget about it
there's nothing worth it in life anyway

>>38608008
anon don't even think about doing something so silly like that
i doubt he was as remarkable as you think, love and nostalgia tends to make things seem much better than they are

>>38608011
oddly based post

>>38608011
ik, there is nothing good in life and everything is rigged anyway and i will always be poor or not rich yea, but i care abt my parents..

>>38608026
i cant help myself... i might hookup with a guy from tinder this weekend but i dont even get excited from his messages because im so disappointed that it wasnt a text from the first guy

File: Leopardi.png (9 KB, 310x163)

9 KB PNG

>>38608104
>ik, there is nothing good in life and everything is rigged anyway

He's right you know

File: 1735951838421889.jpg (82 KB, 640x480)

82 KB JPG

>>38570364
the choice to troon feels like a choice between my literal worst autistic faggy impulses that i've tried hard to suppress and being a functional, socially acceptable man with a decent life.

shit sucks. i don't want to be a troon who can't leave their bedroom and have panic attacks leaving the house unable to do basic shit. and i still find it comforting how being a man often makes me feel more stable. especially when the tranny shit retreats into the background.

>>38608011
>there's nothing worth it in life anyway
based and true

>>38608183
for me, going out and doing things became easier after i started hormones, whether boy or girlmoding. almost everything improved besides the way that others treat me

>>38608163
i want all my illusions, dreams and hopes to die already..

What's the point in being alive if I'll never come close to what I constantly dream about?
Nothing I do in life gives me any real fulfillment if it's like this

>>38608615
there is literally no point, that is your answer

>>38608615
UHHH memes??? and drugs??

>>38606877
it works for me, until I burn out every 2-3 weeks and have a terrible depressing weekend

I do nothing all day. Haven't done anything productive in my life in over a decade. I wake up, browse 4chan and then go to bed.

Feels are back pretty strong atm, first time this year that it's been like this
I try and tie my longing to real world success
Like I won't let myself troon out, but it would only even be an option if I made it in my career and had disposable income and a place of my own first
So surely since I want to be a woman so badly I can funnel at least some of that desperation into wanting to be successful too right?
Spoilers, it doesn't work
Sometimes it's very difficult to just get out of bed

>>38589523
>i can never talk to anyone about it and just have to be sexually frustrated my entire life because i'm a crazy person.
Im 32 and similar situation and this is maybe the worst thing
Theres a lot of mental problems out there but you can talk to people about them and get help and see advice on how to live a better life despite them
With this? Only advice out there is either 100% pray the gay away stuff to turn yourself into a blank shell of a person, or 100% troon out alienate your loved ones and dive head first into a cult of lying to yourself about what you are

>>38608922
stupid take
what about trying to feel as comfortable in your own body without going for some delusional cope?
and unlike the crazy propaganda you can talk about your issues without being pushed to do something...

it's as if i'm cursed with desiring the impossible. wanting to be the opposite sex is a cherry on top of the iceberg. fuck this gay world.

this world isn't gay, it's gray and dull

I should ahve repressed
I should ahve stayed at home and isolated more
I shouldnt hve listened to this board or the people I met here
I shouldnt have met anyone
I simply hurt people and disappoint them
I am not fit to transition
I shouldnt exist even
But punishment of existence osnt enough
Pain eludes me and thus there are no tears or catharsis

I would ask for help
But there is none
Only eternal pain exists
Thats all I deserve anyway
My brain is empty
Good night reppers
Please take hrt at Least

File: image_2025-01-17_160710476.png (257 KB, 553x679)

257 KB PNG

>shaved myself bald hoping it would at least make some of the tranny thoughts go away
>constantly think about about my missing locks that will take years to grow back to the same length

Everything I do is like some joke.

it doesnt matter what you do or dont do, love yourself

love cannot exist in a vacuum
I am not real
This is not a person typing words that you read
Just an other nothing passing by
All things are going by, like film in the photo-projector
The film is about to end

should i inject hrt this week

>want to be a guy since i was like 10
>suck it up and never tell anyone
>starve myself, practice sleep deprivation, study and work to exhaustion
>still dysphoric
>finally decide to join the army because most men in my family served
>can i have this at least?
>medical discovers i have a rare congenital heart defect
>instantly unfit for military service
lmao i knew the palpitations weren't a good sign but come on, CAN'T I BE NORMAL FOR ONCE

>>38609899
I think trannies are more sickly in general.

>>38609854
fuck it; ball

>>38609918
i have the hypermobility thing too

>>38609953
Do you have adhd/autism/any other personality disorder

>>38609854
I will tomorrow

>>38609962
neither of those first are personality disorders tho, they're hardware issues
personality disorders are a joke, even i got a diagnosis lmao fucking scam

Once I abandon all my friends I will detrans. Then I will be free.

>>38570450
not a repper but a really lonely tranny people keep telling me to get therapy for the boyfriend thing cuz apparently its not CUTE or SILLY when i cry and scream and sob for hours over not having a partner god forbid a woman has a mental breakdown my god anyway do you think you could therapize me or however its supposed to work

>>38610065
free to suffer, nice, cool

i am become repper, the baby who cries

>>38610076
why do you fuck pillows?
i mean they can't really consent so that makes you borderline rapist at best

>>38610082
What difference is there?
At least I will be true

>>38609923
idk do i have to keep doing this

>>38609963
i might do it tomorrow i might just back out

>>38610135
Do it
Ruin your life
Transition
Give up
Give in
It’s already over
Just do it

>>38609962
according to others, i am a little weird but it could be the trannyism. never needed a shrink. and what could i tell them anyway?
>doctor, i feel inadequate next to my male relatives because i am not allowed to eat crayons and shoot 40 mm tax dollars
>also i pretend i'm in a different body most of the time which fucks with my concentration
>what? the body switch machine hasn't been invented yet? understandable, have a nice day

>>38610102
i have one pillow that i hump and i dont do it to any others
i do it because my dick is fucking broken and using my hands does not and has never felt good. idk if im just not good at jerking off or what but i have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me. it gets too sticky and then theres too much friction and then it just hurts. so ever since i started masturbating ive only ever been able to get off by humping a pillow

>>38610146
devil passoids in *my* repgen?

i accidentally injected yesterday
checked a bad of stuff and found a syringe... withouth thinking i go to my fridge, take out my vial, ...
lol

>>38610147
Over to the nth degree.

>>38610153
i should mention this isnt specifically an hrt thing, ive literally always been like this and i dunno why.

why are people that don t belong in repgen here??

>>38610161
Do I have to put my vials in a fridge? I just hide them in the closet lol

>>38610153
>>38610170
you really should get some help getting off :/

>>38610183
idk. why are you, faggot?

>>38610184
you don't afaik idk why i do it, probably as i'm used to do it with peptide vials?

>>38610223
no longer want to die?

File: W_Corp._L3_Cleanup_Agent_(...).png (1.47 MB, 1920x1080)

1.47 MB PNG

>>38610223
yeah but what am i gonna do? get a boyfriend? men are all gay and any exceptions are comphet. obviously thats why i dont have a boyfriend already.

>>38610169
yep it's fucking over. wish i knew what to do with my life next.

>>38610153
you might want to get a wand unless you're broke as fuck

>>38610076
I have exactly one move and it's asking questions to encourage introspection.
Do you think people are being flippant to you? Do you come to them for emotional support, or advice?

>>38610268
ive thought about that but then i got anxious about which ones to get and if its too expensive and if id ever really use it anyway and then i got scared and gave up
maybe one day ill try again but the pillow does work for me

>>38610234
idk what you're asking
i still considering death but am numbed from alcohol

>>38610305
ah, that sucks, you seemed to feel better..

>>38610301
just buy a cheap chinese thing and try
they'll work and all and if they break you can buy another, or buy a hitachi or something

>>38610321
how are things going for you?

File: The.Queen.Of.Hatred.600.3(...).jpg (90 KB, 600x888)

90 KB JPG

>>38610298
usually support, not advice. i tend to spiral sometimes like yesterday i joined a random discord server and ranted about men not liking women and only pretending to like women and surely thats why i dont have a bf and i cried like all day but its okay cuz i took a nap and i feel way better now but i still really want a boyfriend and seeing or thinking about men at all makes me involuntarily whimper and sometimes go limp in my chair from the sensation of wanting its weird actually
>>38610324
>just buy a cheap chinese thing and try
that sounds like a bad idea for my overly sensitive dick if its too much...
>or buy a hitachi or something
whats a hitachi?

>>38610335
pretty decent right now, i mean still miserable, just a bit, yesterday was bad though, i had headaches and felt horrible for a few good hours, mood fluctuates like crazy from feeling extremely horrible to just a bit horrible..

>>38610348
cheaper wands are more likely to be weaker and they all can be turned down in intensity, besides the vibration will not chafe or such on your sensitive clit so likely will work well
>hitachi
it's THE mythical wand with a strong motor

started thinking about men for a second and i started fucking panting im good now though im good
>>38610393
i see.,, ill probably ask some friends for recommendations then.

>>38610376
nice
i mean not the miserable part but it's always good when it's not at its worst...

>>38610417
lol you're in heat :D

I’m not even sure what I’m looking for anymore by coming to these threads
There is no probable set of words that will help me. I’m doomed by my own inability to accept reality.
I am fake
A fraud
I waste nb money on therapy that goes no where
Even my therapist is bored of me but still needs my money so there is that.
Worthless. Worthless.
I need to die. I should. But that’s escapism. Idk anymore. It’s all too much.

>>38610427
>I’m not even sure what I’m looking for anymore
was that a depeche mode reference?
https://youtu.be/YxrSS0PT-pY

>>38610425
>lol you're in heat :D
its horrible and its embarassing and its awful and i will literally sniff the spot where my crush was sleeping in my bed hoping theres still some traces of boysmell left (spoiler alert: there are, but theyre pretty sparce and you can only find them when you arent expecting it so youll just be in bed then suddenly youll be panting and whimpering like an animal)

>>38610146
>Ruin your life
i'm trying not to and i'm just hrt manmoding

>>38610348
you need help getting control of your emotions, but lacking control makes it more difficult to get this help because people become avoidant. Is this what is happening? If it is, do you think it is unfair to you?

>>38610466
you shouldn't be embarassed for having a healthy sexuality!
i fucking envy you ngl

And I know she's living there
And she loves me to this day
I still can't remember when
Or how I lost my way

>>38610510
i dunno what it is, but i definitely lack control over my emotions. this is a thing that started after hrt, i wasnt drooling over boys like i do now. and actually early transition i was a lesbian for a while before my androphilia came back with a fucking vengeance.
i think a lot of people dont really understand exactly how much it hurts to be this in love with guys but also be single and i want them to know that but it also just sucks because i feel like the advice i always hear is "you need to learn how to better handle being alone" which is like thats advice i would give to someone if i thought they were unattractive and needed to get ready for the long haul so that makes me really sad when i hear that
idk. its just been really fucking hard lately because my need for a partner has grown so exponentially over the last couple months or so. before then repressing my emotions was a valid option cuz i was fine until i had my weekly mental breakdown but now it just doesnt work and im kind of developing a drinking problem as a way to forget how i feel.
>>38610518
yeah but what does it matter if guys never like me back...? i mean... its kind of fun in a self harm way to cry and closing my eyes and pretending i live in a fantasy world is really nice but i always have to wake up and the disconnect is always really rough

>>38610608
Yeah no I don't see why your case is hopeless, you don't have to repress...but that's what you'd be doing by indulging in alcohol. Finding a boyfriend would require emotional control, but repressing emotion would go against that, wouldn't you agree?

>>38610457
My pain is a joke yes

>>38610853
>but repressing emotion would go against that
but repressing emotion would work against finding one*

>>38610608
Take hrt and start girlmoding

>>38610853
>>38610865
>but repressing emotion would work against finding one
in my experience crying to men about wanting to be held by men is a recipe for making them see you as a sister instead of as a potential romantic partner. at least, thats my guess. either way the reason i have to repress my emotions isnt mainly because its unattractive, although it is, its because its just really hard to live this way. its hard being a normal person when you see a married couple together on the street and you immediately just want to cry. it fucking sucks.
>>38610875
you didnt read my post because it literally mentions me taking hrt in the second sentence ive been on it for almost two years now

>>38611056
Suck my dick whore

>>38611162
learn to read first silly

>>38610065
>>38610130
if you knew what being a real repper was like then you would know that it feels like you're living a lie 24/7 even when completely alone.
now gtfo you're just a tranny with bpd

>>38610427
>expecting TheRapist to cure you

should I go back to repression if I get told ffs won't work for me because large philtrum can't be fixed in my case

>>38611270
?
post philtrum in my dms

>>38611293
It's bad but nobody else sees it except the surgeons who recommend against lip lift bc of my smile but idk how to pass without it probably impossible.

Repression is less shameful maybe?

>>38611270
Why would you ever do that instead of just manmoding? This is a fate worse than death and I would choose any other available option (death incl) if I had the choice. If you tried transitioning in the first place you're clearly not trapped under the same obligations, so I don't understand the point of torturing yourself for no reason

Transitioning fixes nothing. I detransed after finding out that "Mental effects" are a giant placebo.

>>38611344
In 7 years of hrt I've never malefailed, never come out or voice trained or even dared to wear a bra.
My experience is no different to a repressor outside of the fact I take hrt idk.
I feel like I had everything on ffs and to be p much shown I wouldn't pass with whatever could be done for me :( im scared i made a mistake and would be better as a cis man maybe.

>>38611056
Other people's reactions beat you down. They make you want to pent up these feelings, I think that feeds into them. Having desires isn't wrong. Do as much in your day as comes easy to you before it gets too much. You need to build up an emotional baseline.

>>38611450
>My experience is no different to a repressor outside of the fact that I'm medically transitioning
wow

>>38611450
LEAVE

>>38611516
:( Where do I even belong I'm a grown man who regrets everything

>>38611450
there's probably always something, my philtrum is short but I've got linebacker shoulders

>>38611270
ffs doesn t work for hons, it is a cope
>>38611365
same lmao

>>38611365
I think you're lying honestly, the idea that taking cross sex hormones somehow wouldn't have any impact on a brain sounds even more improbable than the idea they'll magically make anyone pass.
Also the only reason I continue being alive is because I still have hope that someday I'll have enough money to completely isolate myself somewhere that I can manmode in peace. If I'm somehow able to make it to that point and they end up really not doing anything at all then becoming a detroon would be retarded, I'll just off myself

>>38611602
don't complain...
you don't have linebacker philtrum like i do ;__;

>>38611365
mental effects are patently placebo i thought this was known
>>38611634
this is wrong however there's literally no proof that hrt changes brain structure at all or even lines of thought

File: 855bfa4b8b26d4ca90114a507(...).png (1.67 MB, 2126x1417)

1.67 MB PNG

>>38611462
holding in my emotions is better for me though. if i just let loose im constantly losing my shit and noone wants to listen to that. my friends all said i was being bitchy and told me to stop complaining about the boyfriend thing so i stopped. at least when youre repressing youre fine 70% of the time and you have a mental breakdown every now and then but its more controlled. idk i mean its not like i can do anything about the way i feel although i wish i could. guys just really dont like me. they always call me pretty and cute and say ill def get a boyfriend soon and the guy i was crushing on said any guy would be lucky to have me but none of those people were actually interested in me which is driving me genuinely insane. its like im noones type except for a hypothetical someone. this made me start thinking about some anime characters where its like noone really wants to fuck or date them but everyone agrees theyre a sweet nice girl that deserves a boyfriend. maybe im like that where im not interesting or loveable enough for a guy to like me but im sweet and pretty and nice enough that guys still agree that id be good for someone else. idk. its just so hard and honestly i dunno how the guy im crushing on could ever imagine me not getting a crush on him cuz like hes handsome and attractive and has boysmell and he buys me things and makes cookies and food for me and buys me popcorn and watches movies with me like oh my god of course im gonna fucking catch feelings you asshole fuck

>>38611594
stop mocking this terrible place with your presence, go wherever all the other ugly bpd troons hang out

>>38611618
True
>>38611602
Having a large philtrum is worse than most other features.
It's constantly on display and near where people look when they speak to you.
It completely throws my face off and ensures that even if I got ffs it'd be a waste bc of it...

>>38611641
How would it not? If you've ever had a close female friend or family member you would know that their mental state can clearly based on estrogen levels. Is the brain of a male somehow magically immune to this? I never said that it would completely change your brain structure to be identical to that of a female's.

>>38611726
oh wow
no it's because of fluctuating levels
i've researched this topic in depth
if women had stable estrogen levels they wouldn't be how they are

i don t want to get a job and work for a society that doesn t give a flying fuck abt me.. life it is all genetics and was deceided before you were even born.. all luck..
if you get lucky you will have an extraordinary easy life.. if not you will live in horrible pain daily for your entire life since birth and never know happiness.. rip bozo..

>>38611735
If it had no impact then why would fluctuations in the amount of it present change anything?

>>38611804
obviously some amount of estrogen is important for mental function... in both men and women
women do not maintain that consistently which is the issue

>>38611646
I don't know, keeping things pent up or depending on alcohol can't be constructive. With a healthier coping strategy you could still work towards your actual goal, no? I feel like otherwise you're accepting things won't get better. I believe things can work out for you.

>>38611811
>it does nothing except when it does but that doesn't count because reasons
If hormones really won't change anything at all then I would appreciate it if someone was smart enough to convince me of that before I suffer through more years of being alive for no reason

>>38611852
anon i just said that everyone needs a baseline amount of estrogen for proper brain function
beyond that, the only thing that can cause instability is fluctuating levels, not the actual amounts itself

>>38611830
maybe. its just been a really long time and im sick of feeling this way for so long. i want to get a boyfriend like ive always dreamed of but every day it feels like that dream is further and further away and it all feels so hopeless.
i want things to be better for me.

>>38611877
Why does your brain need a baseline of a chemical that does nothing? Couldn't you just swap it out with like water or something and get the same result?

>>38611903
anon i don't know if you're trying to intentionally misunderstand me
estrogen is important in the brain up to a certain point
of course past that point it still does "something" but is it measurable? is it significant? is it even tangibly real? no

>>38611889
I don't think you need to despair. There is reason to be optimistic. You have friends, you get along with guys. I think the first thing that can be changed is not your feelings, but your outlook on them. Developing a more positive self image is a big step.

>>38611951
>of course past that point it still does "something" but is it measurable? is it significant? is it even tangibly real? no
Either it does something tangible or it doesn't, it logically cannot be both.
Do you believe that the brain has sexed traits at all? Estrogen/testosterone clearly have an impact on the development/functioning of other organs.

>>38612077
>Do you believe that the brain has sexed traits at all?
i'm sure it does
do i think adding hrt to a mostly-developed brain will change those? no

>>38612043
how do i do that?

>>38611634
hrt did nothing for my anhedonia, depression, or anxiety. Only thing it really did was reduce my libido.

>>38612100
Well, be nice to yourself. Don’t do things to hurt yourself. Don’t give in to hopelessness over your feelings, believing that they are keeping you down. Whatever about yourself that you can think of that makes you like yourself more. I think as soon as you improve in this area, you will see improvement in your feelings. It’s however getting really late for me so I’ll be signing off. Find peace with yourself, you deserve to be seen and understood.

>>38612272
>Don’t give in to hopelessness over your feelings, believing that they are keeping you down.
i have no idea how im supposed to see a near debilitating need for a husband as a good thing though. it seems like an objectively terrible mindset due to the lack of anyone to play out these fantasies with.

>>38612089
So now is it like skeletal structure where it can only be changed by hormones to a significant degree before it's finished developing? That's pretty far from the claim that it doesn't impact brain structure "at all." Also I'm more arguing for the idea that it changes HOW the organ functions, unfortunately I don't think that it's possible to completely reverse how your brain structure developed.
Estrogen won't cause your penis to turn into a vagina, but from my understanding it can absolutely change how it functions, smells, looks, etc
>>38612186
I'm sorry anon, but I've also heard anecdotes claiming the complete inverse.