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qott: did your life peak before puberty mutilated you?
last thread:>>39395709
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peaked before my penis was mutilated after birth
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>>39440114
take your pills, retards
>>
>>39440114
My life peaked at 16, so not exactly. Puberty was more like 13 for me. Although I didn't get much facial hair when I was 16. I'd like it if I didn't grow facial hair but I'm not willing to get laser hair removal unless it's an at home device, and all the at home devices suck.
>>
Thinking about if I should transition or not has been consuming my entire life
>>
>>39440114
>qott
Yes my life peaked HARD at 9 or so, then at 12-14 I was uglier with less opportunities but had a truly amazing friendship with some classmates.
puberty hit me at 14 and it’s been a solid nosedive ever since
>>
>>39440114
i think i was happy as a very young kid (i dont remember) but as soon as i got into school i was pretty unhappy and traumatised and have stayed that way ever since :))
>>
>>39440114
I peaked at like 17 when my few friend groups in high school merged together and I had lots of friends and didnt worry about life and was a skinny young twink
Life quality dropped hard from there and hasnt recovered
I'm 32 now
>>
>>39440114
For me before puberty, I had a very tiny desire to have some female attributes. Such as, the want to do gymnastics and have one of those girly leotards, or long hair and wearing girls clothes. I very rarely wore a skirt or dress privately but I very much enjoyed it. I was still happy to be a boy and didn’t think much of it though. At this point in my life, I wouldn’t look at other girls and my first thought is, I love their hair or the way they look, I wish I could be like that. Then I realise that’s not going to happen. (I didn’t have that feeling at all before puberty)

For me, puberty really did make these feelings go to a level that has caused me to contemplate transitioning. I’d say my changing voice has made me insecure. I have always been quiet, but I do think I have gotten more quiet and shy. Growing facial hair also sucks but it’s generally okay if I shave it. Same with body hair but it’s kinda awkward to shave it as a boy when it’s summer time.

I do miss the time when dysphoria didn’t affect me and I know this will always be the case until I transition (although, more realistically if I transition).

But for me, I am grateful that I have got a lot of things to live for and aim for still in my life that I care about. The desire to be a woman will always be there but I hope my having other goals in life and hopefully achieving them will satisfy me enough to not commit suicide.

So really has life got worse after puberty?

Yes, my life did peak before puberty, because before puberty I felt like myself.

But now, how I present myself is more of like an act.
>>
>me
>34
>tall, hair everywhere, had a relationship with a trans girl years ago, repress all thoughts since hrt could never save me
>my irl friends
>3 trans girls ages ranging from 30 to 24, all on hrt
>two in exclusive relationship with each other, other part of some zoomer polycule
i'll never not be jealous, I'll never not hate myself for my gorilla genes
>>
>FTM repper pulls a gun on me
>I stick my finger in the barrel
>he fires and the barrel explodes giving him a face full of soot

Lmao
>>
>>39441422
Did any of these trans girls ever know you were repressing? I would of thought it would be obvious to them if you were repressing?
>>
>>39441454
why are ftm reppers loony toon maxxing?
>>
>>39441472
my current friends all know(because I told them), my ex gf didn't but that's mostly because it was years ago and I didn't fully understand what I was feeling at the time.
>>
imagine having friends LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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>>39441558
Makes sense.
>>
shoutout to my shoulders for being too wide and repfuel despite my ribcage being decently small
>>
I am simply too powerful. The universe had to give me a negative trait to prevent me from causing the apocalypse.
>>
I'm a loser I want to kill myself.
>>
>>39440114
My life probably peaked in happiness when I was like 3
>captcha:N8GAY
>>
>>39441836
shoutout to my shoulders for being decently small despite my ribcage being too large
>>
HRT won't bring back my youth. I don't even know how to live authentically.
>>
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im never going to wake up as a different human itll always be me and that makes me wanna die
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have you tried having a female friend group
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>>39443885
yeah but they excommunicated me for being a guy when I was 12 and then I had no friends until the last two years of high school
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>>39443885
I've never had female friends, so I'm not sure why I think I can someday pretend to a woman
>>
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His (hers) and hers (his) matching skinsuits with my psychosismatched femrepper wife
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>>39444238
>I think I can someday pretend to a woman
lol imagine actually thinking that instead of just acting on your agp coomers impulses
>>
>>39443495
same
I'm still holding out hope that one of the CYOAs I filled out will come true though
>>
1pm. late enough to start drinking i guess
>>
who up beating they meat to sissy captions
>>
sodium nitrite or estradiol valerate, gotta pick one
>>
>>39445611
isn't sn a pretty bad way to go?
>>
>>39445611
I pick a third option, the sacrament.
>>
>>39445619
how so
>>39445620
cope
>>
>>39445633
>how so
just painful and unpleasant
>>
>>39445633
>cope

i mean being an atheist is a much bigger cope.
>>
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i'm 6'2, masculine as hell and have a bad case of agp curls
should i get bangs the next time i go out of town?
>>
>>39440127
reminder pinkpillers do this to make hons to laugh at >>39444651
>>
>>39445694
Any alternatives
>>
>>39440114
Life is peaking as we speak. Terrified every moment it's all gonna fall apart and evaporate and leave me with nothing
>>
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>>39445936
this is how that specific pinkpiller looks like
>>
why are pinkpillers always hons? I've noticed this
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>>39446188
misery loves company
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>>39446220
what makes tkmiz stuff so repper coded?the vibes are so strong but i can never put my finger on why
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>>39446250
she's one of us, or at least used to be
her twitter hasn't been active in over a month now, so she's either transitioned and moved away from her tkmiz persona or she's exploring the heaven with her flattie gf
>>
>>39446140
you don't know
>>
>>39446308
ik, that is literally the autistic guy from mmg that keeps spamming "take your pills, retards" in every repgen
>>
>>39446328
we love out chudette dont we folx? hes a beautiful ‘moder, maybe the only true ‘moder. some are calling him the last ‘moder, i dont know. the generals they showed me rooms full of ‘moders. im talking very big rooms, full of ‘moders. and they said to me, they said to me “mr. president they wont let us release these ‘moders. mr. president they want to keep your beautiful ‘moders away from you”
>>
I WISH I WAS A WOMAN
>>
>>39446188
what do you think happens to reppers?
>>
>yfw they mean anti psychotics when they say take your pills
>>
pls mercy
>>
>>39446250
their old tweets were extremely reppercoded. they tweeted about always wanting to be a girl, how their characters represent the ideal human form and about wearing skirts and womens clothes as a teen and starting again as an adult. sadly they also tweeted a lot about lolicon so they deleted every tweet pre-2020
>>
>>39446761
what the fuck do you get out of posting the same old crap?
get religious or something, nothing earthly can fix you up anyway
>>
>>39447412
ocd
>>
>>39446593
those don't work
>>
>>39446292
I just hope tkmiz gets to be happy
>>
>>39445521
lucky, I'm making myself wait until Friday
>>
>>39446969
they also tweeted about wanting to be raped and passed around by men but settling down with a woman as a woman. literally the most agp mangaka on earth. you literally see posts like theirs by bisexual agps on this board
>>
>>39448379
> be raped and passed around by men but settling down with a woman as a woman
very based tbhon
>>
>>39445620
spoiler alert it doesn't work, living a lie as a fake person ultimately means you can't really connect with God
at least that's how I feel
>t. raised Catholic rephusk
>>
>>39448379
>raped and passed around by men but settling down with a woman as a woman
literally me minus the the woman bit
>>
>>39448405
>living a lie as a fake person ultimately means you can't really connect with God

God doesn't care if you're a "Real" person or a "Fake" person.
>>
>>39448440
Does this mean AI can get into heaven? Do souls need qualia to get into heaven?
>>
>>39448405
> raised Catholic
the only way to sort trad retvrn larpers from actual catholics who went to mass for more than a year
>>
hopefully this newest waste of money permanently distracts me from my dysphoria
>>
Hi, I wish I was female.
>>
>>39448490
What did you buy before the tariffs hit anon?
>>
biggest repfuel is the cost of being feminine
>>
>>39448536
panasonic fz-150, got it for less than 100 bones
>>
>>39448714
Nice. What got you into photography anon?
>>
>>39448534
hi, same
>>
>>39448725
don't think i could give one specific event in all honesty, i just live in a pretty area and haven't been able to adequately capture it with just my phone
>>
>>39448379
I liked the roller skate xeet more it was cute
>>
>>39448831
Enjoy the scenery then.
>>
about to fail another exam in like 2 hours wish me luck
>>
>>39448966
lock in, i believe in you
>>
>>39448714
>>39448490
kek i want a camera so i can take good quality cd pics
>>
>>39448973
thanks
I'm trying to make myself study a little bit but my autism denial disorder combined with the constant dysphoria disassociation haze that I'm in 24/7 is so bad that when I try to do literally anything my mind just goes fuzzy and I stare at the wall while retreating into my imagination
>>
>>39440114
>QOTT
I don't think it was peak but there was a very happy time in my life when puberty had given me a ton of height, but before my breasts and hips came in. I was slender and much more androgynous, my shoulders are naturally broad, I could pass as a boy without any problem.
>>
>>39449024
>I'm trying to make myself study a little bit but my autism denial disorder combined with the constant dysphoria disassociation haze that I'm in 24/7 is so bad that when I try to do literally anything my mind just goes fuzzy and I stare at the wall while retreating into my imagination
yeah this was pretty much my entire school experience too. I used to skip class in the bathroom and cut myself too.
>>
amabs, how many of you have grown a beard? before i wanted to be trans I always wanted to grow facial hair but I could only grow a light moustache and now that i've given up being trans, I'm having fun growing a beard.
>>
i grew a very shitty beard because i didnt want to look at myself in the mirror. i figured it was everyone else's problem since they had to look at it and not me
>>
>>39449779
i've been plucking my face hair since they started growing out and only last year did i decide to stop doing it because i wanted to grow it out and see if i could look more respectable anyway its making me uncomfy again and i want to start plucking
t. 30+
>>
>>39449838
i fucking hate having to shave like every 2 days or whatever, staring at myself in the mirror for 10+ is actual torture
>>
>>39449877
what you don't love dragging a razor across your chiseled masculine face paying close attention to every contour only to have to do it all again the next day?
>>
>>39449779
i still have a beard from trying to see if just becoming more masculine will fix my problems. worst mistake ever
>>
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>shave face after long time
>omg i'm just like a girl
>>
>>39449902
it honestly is the worst thing for me, if im fully shaved and have been doing my skincare routine properly i can somewhat handle talking to others cause i just seem like a faggy twink but getting the energy to do all that is hard so most of the time im in a horrible depressed dissociated state and look like a weird freak, i hate it
>>
>>39449779
Having to spend time ripping out facial hair every morning is probably what causes me the most intense disgust over my own body on a day to day basis, it's the only time where I really have to make myself look into a mirror at how hideously masculine my face is.
when I was like 15 and it first started appearing I tried to force myself to let it grow, but after a couple days it started driving me insane and I ended up scraping my face with a pocket knife until it was all gone. I kept doing that until my mom noticed how my face was constantly all scratched up and she bought me a razor. I never wanted to ask for one or buy it myself until then because it felt like admitting something was going horrifically wrong and I would rather pretend like it wasn't happening as best as I could
>>
>>39449960
am i more fembrained for having my go to being a tweezer rather than knife or razor at 15
>>
>>39450010
yeah probably
in the end we both ended up here anyways though
>>
>friends joked about wanting to be women
>wanted to join in on the joke
>>
Does your trans partner know you're a repper?
>>
>>39450156
no then shed break up with me
>>
>>39450156
>>39450174
>>
>>39450156
I'm an ethical repper I don't have a partner. I would only ever be open to dating another repper in an asexual mutual suicide-pact with cuddling sort of way.
>>
>>39450156
I'm an ethical repper I only bottom for random dads on grindr to feel a simulacrum of love.
>>
>>39450193
that would be so nice.
>>
are reppers comfy like osaka syndrome
>>
I have decided I'm going to try HRT only after my parents die. This is okay because I want them to live forever.
>>
sitting behind people on the bus has made me notice women tend to have rounder heads, not just facially, but also from the back
just my luck my huge male head is particularly big in the back and on top, like some hydrocephalus in training. it'd be nice if life was a cartoon and big heads meant you were smarter, but i don't even have that going for me
>>
>>39450193
>dating another repper in an asexual mutual suicide-pact with cuddling sort of way
i want this so bad... it's so crushingly lonely being like this
>>
i know i'm trans it's just too late to change anything about my life
>>
>>39450595
>are reppers comfy
no
>>
>>39448379
i couldn't be trans i'm not misogynist and masochist enough i'm just gaslighting myself
>>
>>39448460
>>39448405
reminder that theres no such thing as an ex-catholic, only a bad catholic
>>
>>39451109
the idea that you can't connect with God as a repressor is so absurd im pretty sure that "ex-catholic" thing was a total lie. people constantly make shit up on 4chan so not surprising
>>
>>39449876
does plucking it mean it grows in less or not as dark? I fucking hate having stubble and just shave a lot
>>
>>39451130
yep only baby hair even after a month
i guess a shadow is still there but it's smooth af
>>
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>>39451053
i am
am i not a repper
>>
I feel angry that I'm just never into the right things. There's no one like me I'm just nothing.
>>
>>39451109
I didn't say ex
>>39451120
it's not absurd, but sorry it upset you so much.
I just don't think it's possible to genuinely connect and stuff when the person is essentially an empty mask. Maybe if you do a really good job at keeping your internal and external self seperate, but having them mixed up or living more as the latter seems like it severs any connection to divinity.
>>
>>39448966
63 lets gooo
I'm glad the hard work I'm putting into not killing myself is really paying off. I was gonna hold off on drinking this week but I think this calls for some celebration
>>
I've been on HRT for 2 years now and it clearly isn't working out for me so I've been considering stopping and repping forever. Is it worth the humiliation of un-coming out and all the consequences? I don't want to be a living stereotype.
>>
>>39451559
go away this thread is for trureppers only
wouldn't it make more sense to just hrt manmode if you've already gone through the worst part socially though? I genuinely don't understand why you would want to make yourself even more miserable with the effects of testosterone if you're already irreversibly past the point of completely hiding things
>>
I'm currently on few months hrt but honestly I'm not sure there's any point. Most people I've seen online just see trans people as mentally deranged confused lost people who they can just brush off as consequence of modern society with a grain of pity towards them. I just really feel like I don't want to be seen that way so maybe I should just repress somehow, at least I could try. How I wish I didn't have to worry about any of this and could just be satisfied with living as my agab
>>
Is it true that most girls want to be boys at some point, and vice versa?
>>
>FTM repper chasing after me
>Paint a tunnel on the side a mountain
>she runs right into it

kek
>>
>>39452237
I love your posts
>>
>>39452318
<3
>>
I'm so tired of repping. I thought this would shit would go away by now. I wish i had opened up when i was 12 so i could actually pass and of lived my life
how i wanted to
>>
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HAHAHAHAHAHAGAJFAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAYAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
>>
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MIGRATE TO /x/

THE SECRETS OF AUTHENTIC TRANNYDOM LIES IN THE MASTERY OVER PHYSICALITY BY MEANS OF ALCHEMICAL TRANSMUTATION, MANIFESTATION AND TRANSCENDENTAL MEDITATION. USE YOUR IMAGINATION

HAVE FUUUUUUUUUUNNNN
>>
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is it easier to rep looking like this
>>
>>39448379
>raped and passed around
hot
>literally the most agp mangaka on earth. you literally see posts like theirs by bisexual agps on this board
god forbid a woman have good taste, anon
>>
>>39450206
i've never related to a post on repgen more than this one
>>
>>39444362
I wonder if this would actually be helpful as an outlet or if it would just make things exponentially worse
>>
>>39453866
you'd feel great in the moment but the instant you take the mask off, you're experiencing lows that humans shouldn't be able to reach
>>
>>39453904
kill all pinkpillers
>>
>>39453215
disgustingly ugly and fake snake oil salesman
>>39454934
take your pills sweetie :3
>>
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>>39440114
Just started taking out garbage this morning. fml
>>
It's easier to rep on estrogen guys. Sure, there are still days I break down and can barely function, but instead of it being every day it's only like every 3 days. We'll get through life without falling victim the the psyop that dysphoria is real. We gotta believe it.
>>
>>39455113
Doing this atm. Not sure if it's considered repping anymore, although i only go out as a man.
>>
>>39455113
>>39455148
happy for you but git out
ywnbar
>>
>>39453215
Nordic Alien
>>
i wish i had the money to properly bryan johnson max
instead i'm here with dying kidneys and an ugly old scary brutish man body with boobs :/
>>
>Wake up
>Still female
Day ruined
>>
>wake up
>still not female
>life ruined
>>
>>39450193
I'm the opposite of ethical repper. 35 married with 3 kids. My wife knows I'm a repper tho.
>>
>>39455960
What does your wife think?
>>
>>39440114
Well gals, I finally shaved off the lip rug I grew in college. Honestly never felt better, and never looked better! Gonna go see a doc this morning and try to get a psych consult. With this face and already waifish figure, I might have a chance of escaping this thread!
>>
>>39455960
guess it is gonna be a long ride for you buddy
>>39456002
"fuck"
>>
>>39452686
Same. The longer I waited, the more impossible coming out felt, so I just never did it. The problem is that I'm pretty sure my parents would have tried really hard to suppress it.
>>
>>39456038
>"fuck"
The husband trannying out really is the equivalent of divorce rape...
>>
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>FTM repper offers me a quest to bring a cheese wheel to the Flying Tuna Pub
>I'm in the flying tuna pub
>Quest auto-succeeds
>She gives me a cheese wheel as a reward
>as I'm walking away I hear her start dialogue with a patron
>"Oh my I hope the shipment of cheese arrives soon".
>>
why are ftm reppers so cartoonish while mtf reppers live in the 10th circle of hell?
>>
>>39456539
The stunted afab brain can't actually feel pain like a man can, similarly to how less evolved animals have weaker pain receptors. Men and women might as well not be the same species.
>>
>>39456539
It's entirely possible that mtf dysphoria is stronger, or that it's easier for femreppers to alleviate the worst of it by dressing and acting masculine, while androgyny in amabs is frowned upon. It could also be the difference in reactions: anecdotally, many femreppers I've observed, myself included, tend to take out all the negative emotions on the outside world, getting angry instead of suicidal.

>>39456620
If only that were true.
>>
>>39456168
Yeah and now it feels impossible to supress anymore. im on the fence of saving everyone the embrassment and roping or just accepting my fate as a disgusting hon
>>
>>39456673
>it's easier for femreppers to alleviate the worst of it by dressing and acting masculine, while androgyny in amabs is frowned upon
Can confirm
>t.masc coping butch dykoid
>>
>>39456731
I'm personally a fence-sitting, indecisive retard who is taking estrogen while attempting to do everything in my power to stay entirely stealth as a man. Like, I'm taking prog early to try to stunt breast development to stay entirely hidden. I guess people here would just call it manmoding, but it seems different to me when there is no plan to ever come out to a single person. All it is is a way to push back the suicidal feelings I kept having while repping. I won't accept my fate as a hon because all I am is just a man on estrogen, not a woman. I guess my levels of cope are through the roof.
>>39455960
You know, I also thought for a long time about just getting married to a woman and having kids just to fulfill my parents' expectations and continue my lineage, but the problem would be managing to put up a charade for that long. I imagine being disingenuous in everything would lead to her figuring it out too early. I guess it would technically only have to last until the first kid, but I doubt I couldbr convincing enough to get to that point.
>>
things really are like this, huh
>>
i just wish i had something to look forward to.
>>
AT LEAST YOU ARE NOT UGLY LIKE ME ALSO ON TOP OF HAVING DYSPHORIA
>>
GET REAL MAN I*M SO MUCH UGLIER THAN YOU
>>
that is not true and doesn t make me feel any better fuck off, you are old you are going to die soon but i have much more to endure
>>
not planning to die soon you stupid fuck
>>
then we are both stuck but i am for much longer fuck you
>>
only if you wear a condom
>>
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i hope i get to be a girl in heaven
>>
Do you ever get obsessive over your speech style online and panic over it?
>>
Attracting women as a man doesn't feel natural. I need to put on an act and some can be off put by it.
>>
>>39456539
Ah yes. Because a man crying about wanting literal fat bags on his chest to the point of giving him back pain is completely reasonable and normal.
>>
>>39459040
I'm not ready to go to heaven yet, I want one more shot.
>>
where my wet reppers at
>>
>Wake up
>Still female
Day ruined
>>
>>39463768
wet repper?
the alcoholics or what?
>>
>>39464367
she's on hrt
>>
https://youtu.be/oOIztBXox60

I WANT TO DIE
>>
>>39463768
probably somewhere else because this is the thread for reppers not people who aren'trepping
>>
>>39464370
relapsed you mean?
>>
>>39463768
hey o/
we'll have the last laugh when all the dry reppers breakdown and become john50moders
>>
Any tips on speeding up the perception of time so that I can die sooner? Unironically
>>
>>39465116
stick to a routine. times flies when you do the same old things over and over
new experiences slow down your perception of time passing
>>
>>39463768
Does anavarmaxxing count ?
>t.gymcopping repooner
>>
Can gay repressors post here?
>>
>>39465208
do you mean a gay person repping being trans or a cis person repping being gay?
>>
>>39465208
Yes, most here seem to be straight/bi amabs but this is the gen for all reppers, I myself am a lesbo. Unless you mean repressing being gay.
>>
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I'm not even 25 yet what is this bullshit?
>>
>>39440152
IPL devices work great actually
>>
>>39463768
I'm here but wish I had the strength to stop and just be normal. Perhaps I could if I wasn't exclusively androphilic
>>
>>39465851
being gynephilic doesn't actually help all that much
> t.he wettest repper
>>
>See woman with FAT ass and titties
>Insane envy

Guys...im dying
>>
>>39465497
You know a good one? I know it works but most of them are shit to use.
>>
>>39441487
ifk but it's based and hot
>>
>>39465377
started at 14 for me
i hope you do the big three?
>>
>>39464310
hello opposite me
>>
Anyone is repping while voice training?
>>
Anyone is repping while gooning or taking drugs?
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>>39468519
is there any repper not doing those things?
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when will my pain end
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when you start doing drugs together with hot twinks
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>>39468747
oh but IM NOT FUCKING ALLOWED TO WANT TO BE FUCKED BY HOT TWINKS
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i hereby give you permission to be fucked by unlimited amounts of hot twinks
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i am ugly, fuck you
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yes you are ugly as sin but you can still do drugs
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>>39469054
i dont do drugs because i wont have the money anyways. i should just kill myself it cant get better
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i am not a pussy like you to do drugs and fuck you i am not that ugly
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>>39469082
it's larry that's ugly i bet you're cute
>>39469095
yes you are especially your soul
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>>39469116
no im so ugly my body is horrible and unfixable and im faketrans i need to killmyself
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>>39469116
you only think that my soul is ugly bc i look ugly
looks = personality/soul, if i were hot you would have thought that i have a beautiful soul kys shallow bitch, i am kind and i don t look that bad anyway
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>>39469219
telling everyone to kill themselves, calling them ugly and so on is your idea of kind?
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>>39469227
humans deserve far worse than that, they are horrible and cruel
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>>39469301
every faketrans person like me should just be killed i add nothing to the world
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>>39469328
don t be hard on yourself, none of this is your fault, it just happened, you did nothing wrong, i am sorry that you are suffering so much, just stop self hating, there are horrible people out there that deserve to die, but that is not you, you just got born unlucky and suffer
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>>39469404
it doesnt matter none if this isnt my fault ive been cursed with this and i cant make friends talk to others or live a normal life. im wrong just for living
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>>39467874
Mino is one I assume, what are the other two?
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>>39469461
im not a real human i cant understand anything except that im sad and i want to kill myself why why why
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Every time I'm attracted to a guy, my stupid brain thinks I'm supposed to rail him instead of the other way around, and so I prefer fuckable twinks and they are always gay bottoms. It's not like I would actually pursue a man even if I stood a chance.
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>>39469328
fuck the world
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>>39463768
>taking hrt
>repping
off my thread fag
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>FTM repping, gently repping at my chamber door
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maybe i should throw away all of my hrt and equipment, i'm so fucking stupid why did i do this living with my parents
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Hey, I did some soulsearching recently, which reminded me of my thought process which led me to repping in high school and wonder if any of you can relate.
It went somewhat like this:
>I want to be a woman. Can I become one?
No
>Can I be stealth passing trans woman?
No
>Can I become passing after FFS?
Maybe, only one way to find out
>Can I afford FFS now?
No
>Will I be able to afort FFS in the upcoming years?
Not for a long time
>Will I be comfortable and safe with being visibly transgender?
No.
>Will I be comfortable and safe with boymoding?
No.
>Can I stand being a man in a long term?
Maybe but it's better than being non passing transwoman, less socially akward and personally more comfortable, at least for now.

My mistake was assuming that my GD will stay on the same level in the upcoming years instead of getting worse and worse.
But anyway, that was my reasoning behind my own repressiong back in a day. and it's still to some extend reasoning behind my manmode.
Whenever I start getting regrets about wasting time on not medically transitioning I need to remind myself that my reason were... well, reasonable. It wasn't stupid to assume that I might face ostracism stemming form transphobia, and that finally I would not be happy with my results.
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I think I'm gonna try to stay drunk starting now until sunday night
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>>39470504
I have sort of similar feelings, but I always want to be the one being fucked.
I just kind of have a crisis of feeling like I'm not into the type of guys I'm supposed to be in the way I'm supposed to be.
Even with porn it doesn't click. I'm not into the things guys are supposed to be into, and I'm not into the things girls are supposed to be into.
I'm so fake and I don't even feel like a person.
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>>39472006
do you ever dabble in other drugs
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>>39473417
nope.
I know for a fact that I would get dependent on hard drugs way too fast if I started using them for escapism. I would try weed/psychedelics if my older relatives didn't tend to get kind of schizo as they age without even doing any drugs.
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>>39473449
that's fair, i use a lot of drugs and i can tell you it's so easy to get addicted
my experiences:
-weed: great for escapism, really fun listening to music or watching movies, food is so nice on it too, however some strains give me really bad thoughts about being a tranny
-speed: makes me stay up all night programming, jacking off, or just browsing the web, i love it so much but it's also awful for your body
-psychedelics: ive seen some crazy shit and it's been really eye opening for me in a good way, but it also opened my pandoras box of being trans, also yeah like u said some people it can just mess up
-nicotine: don't do it im fucking hooked and it gets expensive
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>>39472730
same desu
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>>39471411
This is extremely relatable. I started becoming cognizant of the fact that my feelings around sexuality were abnormal around 12 or so. There was stuff before that, but it didn't sink in until then. I wasn't aware of trans back then and just considered whatever I felt a generic "gay," and I just tried to ignore and grow out of it.
>My mistake was assuming that my GD will stay on the same level in the upcoming years instead of getting worse and worse.
I'm not even sure I assumed it wouldn't get worse, but I basically just took the approach of making it future me's problem.
>my reason were... well, reasonable.
I have to keep reminding myself that even if I was back where I was then with what I know right now, I probably wouldn't be able to do anything differently. The only thing I could have done was to come out, but I still definitely wouldn't have been able to transition or anything and would have been known as a total freak instead of just being your average weird guy.
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>>39471249
Same, but I feel like I might have totally broken mentally if I didn't. I'm still too self-destructive, staying up so that I have to wake up to go to work in less than 4 hours, typing on this board. In a way, hrt was kind of a suicide. I basically threw away planning for the future for it, but I also might have not had any future at all without it.
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I'm literally the best poster on repgen
all of you are basically my slaves
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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it's kinda crazy how I literally don't even have the energy to play video games anymore
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>Wake up
>Still female
Day ruined
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I'm actually blasted rn this is crazy
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>>39445611
Does sodium nitrite really work?
I keep hearing about it but I havent really found
what im looking for
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i'm getting gender envy
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give me happiness
also if you are a woman or not ugly gtfo of my gen
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>>39476437
>gtfo
No :^)
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>>39469977
finasteride or dutasteride, and microneedling
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>>39476446
GTFO
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>>39474360
i'm just stupid and now have needles i have to hide from my parents

>In a way, hrt was kind of a suicide
was the opposite for me. it was an expression of how i want to live
but i'm just a disgusting old man with boobs
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Imagine transitioning just to be a man with gyno. What's the point
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>>39476952
You'll never be a perfect cocksleeve for Black alphas if you don't at least TRY, anonette. You owe it to yourself and to them.
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i would have transitioned already if i soulpassed but i dont. it seems every trans person i meet is more fembrained and im doomed to be in this hell forever
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Im 5'5, Ive been on hrt since 16 (19 rn) but I socially still say Im male
Can I still talk here because my life sucks anyway
>Qott
Ive been suicidal since 9yrs old so I never had a peak in life
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>>39476985
how can you even be here. how.
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>>39476993
Ive been on 4chan since I was 13 and never had a social life outside of the internet
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>>39477007
same but you must pass / look okay. im in the same place but with no hrt and terrible malebrain
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>>39476985
B U I L T
U
I
L
T
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>>39476985
So all that stands between you and normal life is your own retardation. Incredible.
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As if a tranny could ever have a "normal life" lol
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>>39477016
I look ugly and I dont want to post pics
Hrt doesnt help its just what I take as a cope
https://files.catbox.moe/l4u1u5.jpg
>>39477038
I never had a normal life
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>>39477064
brainworms
you should work out your issues with therapy instead of ruining your life
imo of course
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>>39477077
https://files.catbox.moe/kfavnm.jpg
Look at this face again and tell me its brainworms I dare you
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>>39477086
>https://files.catbox.moe/kfavnm.jpg
Okay, now I'm convinced you are a cis woman trolling the fuck out of this gen.
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>>39477086
i want to kill you. fuck you. youre so bpd you look so okay i wish i looked anything like you or was on hrt
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>>39477116
if this is your plan to get reppers to kill themselves it might just work
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>>39477116
>>39477142
I have a penis unfortunately
>>39477122
https://files.catbox.moe/73z7ag.jpg
Youre mistaken tbdesu I look autistic af and mid
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>>39477203
i hate you so much i cant take it stop taunting me
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>>39477220
Im not taunting anyone Im just sharing my woes with fellow reppers
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>>39477248
repping what ?! what are you repressing. youre on hrt and you pass. i repress my thoughts and not on hrt and look nothing like you
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I just can't stand looking in the mirror and seeing a hon. To me that is worse than seeing a man.
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tourists gtfo here
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>>39477264
Im repping because I dont call myself female
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>>39477357
why not? you pass. from your 5 posts you also soulpass.
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>>39477086
i guess you're baiting then
gtfo
>>39477357
so go to /mmg or something
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>>39477373
>>39477374
>>39477391
I still dont see how I pass u guys are lying
https://files.catbox.moe/4w3qbe.jpg
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*roll eyes*
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Wanting to be a woman but in like a self-aware, critical, intelectual, sober way, knowing it's a desire caused by the bio-psycho-social conditions of my being at this particular moment in time; and not in a creepy, superficial, materialistic, fetishistic way like a sheltered self-entilted socially inept privileged kid who has no awareness.
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GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY THREAD YOU FUCKING PASSOID WHORE
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>>39441027
You shouldn't by the way. No, this isn’t reverse psychology, you really shouldn't.
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>>39477540
>https://files.catbox.moe/4w3qbe.jpg
ya. you don t pass, you are a hon, now stop coming here to feel better abt your honnery
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>>39441027
You should by the way. No, this isn’t reverse psychology, you really should.
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trying to decide if i continue hrt and i'm literally crying from the stress
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>>39477086
>>39477203
>>39477540
you unironically deserve the bianca devins treatment gtfo evil whore
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wow i really don't want to do this i just want to wake up tomorrow as a woman fuck this shit i don't want to troon i don't want to man up

is this what its gonna feel like for the rest of my life
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i'm gonna throw up soon and there's no fren that will hold my hair up*
why even live?

(*my hair is short so there's no actual need but still...)
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>>39480626
don't drink so much
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>>39480626
i wish i could be with another repper like you just since nobody else could understand anything. aa feel better durian



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