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Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
(perhaps even try arrange spontaneously meeting up with an IRL contact near you!)
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)


Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: presently defunct afaik.
Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2

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Gonna repost some old replies since the last thread died almost immediately!
No pics for repeats, as usual

>>43412852
A beautiful answer!
>I try to ask how they feel every time I talk to my friends because I do care.
And it sounds like you are doing your best to achieve exactly that already. How do you feel about yourself, Anon?
>>43414330
>I do have anger issues.
Are they a recent development? Can you pin the circumstances where your anger flares up?
>>43418908
>I'm fine now it was just an annoying cycle
Oh, sorry to hear!
>>43419427
Heya, Farmcat! Don't think we've met before.
>So I’m making progress with people.
Wonderful news, Anon! Out of curiosity, did you post your own art?
>I have too much religious trauma to date somebody who is religious
I 100% understand that. Usually, in such cases, the best you can hope for is someone who does not take his faith too seriously. Without a laissez-faire attitude to their faith even I struggle to really open up to a person.
>>43426764
>I'm so afraid of being boring, not interesting, or otherwise not fun to be around.
>In a romantic or sexual situation I'm also afraid of not being physically attractive to the other party in addition to the other issues.
These are very universal issues, and if you want I can try pick your brain on either front there. Frankly, with a bit of care this would even be amazing FAQ material..
That said, the way that you cope with them is extreme and I do think you are in need of help. We do have some rudimentary things on AvPD, and we have a book on adult attachment taking avoidant attachment styles into account as well. We have a couple Youtube channels that might be of interest to you too, see Heidi Piebe in the resources for example.
>what the hell can I do?
>I have zero access to healthcare and therapy is not available.
>Where can I find a friend who will take it easy on me? I live in the sticks.
>I'm tired of looking at computer screens.
Within those parameters the first question that comes to mind is your mobility, because your ability to travel or move could make this a whole lot easier.

>>43427228
Oh? Has it been going on for a while?
>>43428045
>that just makes the initial befriending people step borderline impossible in my head.
One key thing when building a friendship is expressing mutual enjoyment in one another. In other words, if you struggle to talk about yourself, how about letting people tell you about their interests? Then you can use their experiences to compare and contrast, giving them a glimpse into your inner world!
>i have friends but they're all about to move out because they're graduating.
First of all, do get their contacts. This is important. I know screen time is not the best thing but keep in touch, it might save you medium term.
>conversations have a purpose and i don't speak unless i can't add anything to it.
Let me try to flip the script here: would you expect other people to have utility when speaking to you? One very important aspect with these things is to spend time to critically inspect "double standards" of that sort.
>>43428179
>I am so tired of feeling like that
Hm, I understand. You feel like you didn't develop as a person, but especially then it might be important to journal and critically pick apart what it is that is unresolved within you for this long. But to me it seems your big issues are on the outside.
>I will find reason to not do it:
Yes, self deception is a huge issue with it. The issue is: you will not escape this without discomfort. One thing you will find is that, unfortunately, discomfort will in all of this be a compass for you to point to progress. You will have to unlearn some things, and it will take you to do things you do not "want", even though you do want their outcome.
>Along that area, but I really, really, really, can't imagine concrete steps I could do it.
I think I am getting a sense of why now, yeah. You want to have a space of respite, and frankly you need it. I think your sense of progress might be off, yes. Should we try make a checklist?

>>43433419
>in a "it'd be way too humiliating" way
Let me try an analogy: think of a gynecologist. Being a bit cheeky one could say his job is to look at pussy all day. Shrinks are gynecologists of the mind; what is your most personal, intimate experiences is their bread and butter.
>yes but they aren't cringe about it like I am
What makes you cringe about it? Try critically examining it.
>either way i shouldn't compare myself to others
I get it on some level but from what I have seen a lot of research on porn addiction suggests that there seems no correlation between people who self report to have it and those that don't. It's more a matter of that those that self report seem to struggle with guilt over doing it. it's the only reason I prod at all in this direction, but it might be worth investigating an entirely different angle: do you masturbate to cope with things a lot? Stress, perhaps?
>>43435278
>The TL:DR is just "I don't care, I'm learning things anyway"
Probably for the best, Navy. Wishing you all the best, not just with the career aspects but also the surgery stuff. As for stress eating, one thing that is of course worth keeping in mind is whether it is really all that maladaptive or just a sign of there being too many stressors.
>>43437747
>please talk me out of spending money for a phone I will throw away
If your phone has two SIM slots you can forego the need for a second phone entirely, lest I am mistaken.
>>43447020
Wishing you all the best, Anon!
>>43448588
>It's very hard to do that.
It is, it really is. None of this shit is simple, it's painful even.
>Could that be part of the reason for me self-isolating
Chances are that is the case yeah. Look into shame spirals, it FUCKS people.

>>43449115
Congrats, Panty! I recently got myself some kitchen equip I was lacking at my apartment as well, in particular a silicone brush. I also finally got my rice cooker back, I had it in a box that stayed with someone in the town I lived in last year.
>>43450757
>has anyone here dealt with this?
Yes, I did. My body is covered in stretch mark scarring because not only was I overweight I also have weak connective tissue in general it seems. A lot of it has faded by now and I lost a fair amount of weight. I don't think of them anymore, and honestly one of the things that helped me a lot there was external reassurance from lovers.
>>43451487
One in my experience very useful point of view is to remind yourself that you ultimately wanna be feel attractive, and what is and isn't is not your department. Someone can't be wrong finding you attractive, it's their call to make. So if they do, all you gotta do is dwell on it.
>>43452550
>I've finally accepted that I might be a transgirl
Congrats, Anon!
>Where could I get decent clothing inspo/advice for "male" clothing thats kinda feminine?
>Not brave enough to jump straight into skirts in public.
Sadly /sig/ doesn't have many /fa/ resources, though I'd love for some tranners to chime in there, since I'm drawing a blank.
>>43455637
>I had hope for a couple of weeks, but now I'm going back to the person I am.
The familiarity of misery is a trap, Anon. Knowing that does not help, I understand as much.
Tell me what made you retreat though, try help us understand.

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Sadly I don't have much energy tonight but I wanna get some replies from the last thread out. Given it'S midnight I should f off though..
>>43457502
>I feel like he'd call me a whiny retard.
Think of it this way, even if you struggle to believe that they won't judge you (at the same time, would YOU judge other people for the issues you have the same way you judge yourself?), maybe it is more convincing to remember that they would actively punish you for seeking out their help if they did that. Would be very self defeating, right?
>>43457578
>I'll practice it tomorrow. Thank you OP
My pleasure, Anon! I am always happy to provide.
>>43459757
>I need two more SIM slots.
In that case you can always get a cheapo second hand phone which you can gift/resell to others later down the line. Sure you won't make your money back but you also won't create e-waste.
>>43461153
>how well does it fade?
I don't have the best eye sight but nigh perfectly on my arms, and still extremely on my belly area. Of course the texture is different but.. eventually you will age and your skin won't be perfectly even no matter what you do. I am sure it can be further improved with skin care. I understand that you miss it, though.. it's difficult to accept changes for the worse, but what helped me a great deal is finding a partner to whom these things are completely inconsequential. It changed my own outlook, being constantly exposed to that kinda .. affirmation, one could say?
>>43461560
Happy for you, Anon! Sounds like you've made a lot of progress recently. You're not bragposting at all.. we're rooting for you, too!

give it a try
it cant be that
even if you cry
its still childish and true

i think im gonna

Oh SHIT someone else made a thread??

Im subhuman filth

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God damn it, someone else made a thread and I didn't see it. Please ignore this one and go here. Can't delete it anymore.
If any staff sees this, just prune this one.
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