My headphones have a mic in them but it only works when they're connected to my phone via Bluetooth, WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I USE THEM IF THEY'RE CONNECTED TO MY COMPUTER VIA THE CORD????

I want to delete Instagram and Twitter off of my phone but I'm worried I'll be missing out on some great shit if I do that

>>23302190
You will not.

When I get old I want to go back to college and study the humanities.

>>23302177
Reading FuckO's 'Discipline and Punish.' It's pretty interesting. Even moreso because I have been in the military, gone to college, and work in a factory.

Did that shaky little boy watching the neighborhood kids realize that he would never be normal like them? Did the kid who read all night through books about space, who dreamed of one say being an astronaut, ever have a chance? What would he think knowing that the hero on his Gameboy screen was the closest he'd ever touch the world? What would he have thought if he were to know that the pain would never stop, that after he moved away he'd be punished only more-- that nothing would ever change but the background to his misery?
What would he think of the hollowed out man he has become? What would I do if I saw him again? I'd wring his little neck and watch his face turn blue- I'd watch the life leave his teary eyes for ever daring to dream.

>>23302205
used to be a sweet boy, holding very tight to daddy's hand

I purposely pushed away all my friends in high school and I don't feel bad about it. We would normally hang out after school and just fuck around in town until it started to get dark but one day I thought "What if I just stop doing that? I don't need friends." and so I did. Every time that they would ask me if I wanted to hang out, I would say no and go home, they eventually stopped asking. We're still friendly with each other, if I were to text them, they wouldn't be aggressive or stand-off-ish or anything, but they're not my friends anymore.

Rejection never gets easier. That signature look of disgust on womens faces never stops punching me in the gut. The hatred I feel for myself is blistering, almost enjoyably so.

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did you lot see this >>23301915

>>23302254
many such cases

I have to accept the misery if I want to see joy shine through it

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>>23302258
Yup, I cried this morning thinking about how much of a worthless piece of shit I am—all caused by rejection

we anticipate world war 3. we expect trilogies. it will happen.

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>>23302177
Gonna finish reading picrel sooner or later

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Still trying to get an answer to this >>23300822

>>23302361
I'm not encouraging suicide, you stupid fucking faggot..I'm just saying I could use the money.
Also, you're most likely a Jew who was offended by my antisemitism.

>>23302361
Also, he asked if he could gift some books, and I just responded that I'd prefer money. I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't encourage him to commit suicide.

>>23302365
>>23302369
You actually said "Kys in all sincerity you sanctimonious patronizing faggot," not only that, but it is in the context of someone attempting to assist someone in a psychiatric emergency. You did not directly post this to the victim, but you demonstrated that you have no qualms with someone committing suicide, that your comments are not ironic, and that you will follow through with your plans regardless of the damage it may cause.

You may well be charged criminally, even if you are outside the U.S. If you are in Europe, Brazil, and probably Argentina, you will have it even worse.

>>23302365
>>23302369
>>23302375
It is also obvious that the lengths you went through to justify your actions was an attempt to convince the suicidal anon to send you the money and thereby commit suicide. You will have to find out how to argue in court, which you will hopefully be going to (assuming the FBI is not too busy prosecuting minecraft gamers).

>>23302375
Yeah, unlike HIM, you're pissing me off. Ok, don't kys. "Kys" is imageboard lingo and not always meant in full sincerity. I get pissed and said "kys" to YOU, not him. Unlike him, you're not suicidal and a patronizing fag.
>you demonstrated that you have no qualms with someone committing suicide,
Is it illegal to be callous? It's illegal to push people to suicide.
>>23302377
You're a pompous Jew. You don't even know anything about my life, yet you are saying to "clean out the trash".
If I have to go to court and deal with law enforcement, then I would become suicidal.
I am dealing with so much and just could use extra money.

In fact, I hope the guy doesn't commit suicide and just sends me money. It's not like I will use that money for debauchery or anything bad.

>>23302377
>>23302375
Actually, literally, spiritually, metaphysically kill yourself.

>>23302383
>"Kys" is imageboard lingo and not always meant in full sincerity.
Of course not— "context is key"— you said it multiple times while attempting to extract money from someone that was going to commit suicide. In your case, you demonstrated a lack of empathy and disregard for human life. It's not just any context that you said it in. It's not like someone posted a funny mario gif and you said "KYS." That would be believably humorous.

>If I have to go to court and deal with law enforcement, then I would become suicidal.
You better hope you meet someone better than yourself.

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>>23302401
Physically, lyrically, hypothetically, realistically.

>>23302402
>Of course not— "context is key"— you said it multiple times while attempting to extract money from someone that was going to commit suicide
You are a pilpuling Jew. I never told THAT guy to commit suicide..I got angry at YOU because you're a patronizing fag.
> In your case, you demonstrated a lack of empathy and disregard for human life
That's not illegal. Anyways, he offered to send books, and I simply asked for money instead. Whether he commits suicide or not is not my business.
>It's not like someone posted a funny mario gif and you said "KYS."
You are pissing me off. Are you going to report this guy too? >>23302401
>You better hope you meet someone better than yourself
Shut the fuck up. It's obvious you have a grudge towards me.
Btw, Cyrus should have eradicated you vermin during Babylonian times. It's obvious you're after me due to a grudge and are just using this as an excuse.

>>23302410
Your previous post was deleted due to moderation, and you're posting again, most likely on a VPN. It's obvious you have some kind of personal grudge towards me.

You are a slimy Jew.

>>23302412
>You are a pilpuling Jew. I never told THAT guy to commit suicide..I got angry at YOU because you're a patronizing fag.
Asking for money and then trying to dissuade those offering assistance to someone in a possible psychiatric emergency by saying "(Kill yourself)," "(Kill yourself) in all sincerity you sanctimonious faggot," is most certainly a tacit encouragement for someone to commit suicide, and you have a monetary reason to do so— a proper criminal motive.
It's funny that you think you could contribute to art as a psychopath that "feel(s) neither malice nor compassion towards this man," you fundamentally lack the spirit of compassion and humanity integral to the religious figures you evidently didn't understand. Would the Buddha look someone in the eyes on the verge of death and say "Give me your money first— Indeed, I am more attuned to the non-human aspects of my consciousness including the supranatural aspects." You are a materialist, you are not "enlightened," and with an attitude like that, you will never become "enlightened."
I hope you're retarded and edgy and reform.

You should hope that you don't get those "30 pieces of silver."

>>23302190
>great shit
Instagram is only good for looking at bitches

>>23302410
>Suicide's a crime
Idk anon, i'm pro euthanasia for people who want it, and a lot of Europe has that tendency too. The only reason to prevent suicides is either totalitarianism where you maintain nobody has a right to their own body, or because you want to leave people who are in pain suffer.
>But what about the people using it as a cry for help
Why would they matter?

>>23302450
>trying to dissuade those offering assistance
But I never did that. What I did was criticize your sanctimonious attitude.
>is most certainly a tacit encouragement for someone to commit suicide
People post stuff like that all the time. For example, here: >>23302401
Do you report each of these people?

We live in unprecedented times where false compassion and humanism are causing more damage in the long-run. It's best to be a bit elitist.

You love patronize people, huh? However, I think it's mainly you have a grudge against me, but you're too disingenuous to state why. I have some guesses why.

Anyways, go ahead and shit up this thread more.

am i depressed or anemic? am i depressed? feels like it. my thoughts are back to a juvenile toxic cycle. im lethargic, no energy, bad sleep, no motivation. fuck the fucking fucks who tell you motivation doesn't matter. that discipline is what matters. i'm frozen. locked in syndrome got nothing on the inertia im dealing with now. yesterday i sat on the bedside table and couldn't be arsed to get up. flashed in my head that story of the girl who rotted in her couch for 12 years. what horror. too depressed to move and not moving makes me more depressed. what a fucking joke. or maybe im just anemic. or maybe that thought is just wishful thinking. wouldn't be nice if the trouble of my whole being is fixed by downing an iron tablet and a vit D pill. i know for a fact anti-depressants don't work. what happened to me i was functional. can't be bothered to eat. some people get so bad they don't wash their teeth. wonder if it's because it's tiresome. everything is in a way. but im lazy. wonder if i'm just anemic. hope im just anemic. no period in 50 days, used to get relief once i bleed. no relief here. feels like my reproductive organs are holding me hostage. polluting my bloodstream. should i google which induces what? too little or too much progesterone. used to be smart too. now my brain has three repetitive thoughts all centered around how worthless i am. that can be tolerated. but the fog. the fucking fog. no logical processes or complex thoughts. executive dysfunction. not even relief from wanting to die. don't even want to die. too lazy to want anything.

>>23302467
>People post stuff like that all the time.
And almost none demonstrate action and criminal motive. Your post history likely has multiple instances of encouraging suicide, and if you have finally made a profit from it, then it is a sort of closed case that you encouraged suicide, got profit from it, and that YOUR comments specifically are not the typical "banter" found on the internet.

End of story.

>>23302483
I don't have criminal motive. You have a petty grudge against me due to something else, but because you are a deceptive Jew, you won't be open about it.

I have lived for 33 years and have never done a crime. I am presently doing a MS and working hard.

You are trying to directly ruin my life by calling anons to report me to FBI. In fact, this is much worse than writing "kys". You are a massive hypocrite.

>>23302485
>I have lived for 33 years and have never done a crime.
Would that you hadn't done so today.

>>23302489
I did not commit a crime. I wasn't sadistic at all either. I come across plenty of more sadistic people on here.

State your ethnicity and religious background btw.

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>>23302177
Did chinks do the right thing? Is Gedhun Choekyi Nyima happier inside his high-security containment facility compared to getting child molested? Thought provoking.

>>23302480
You're definitely depressed.

>>23302503
why cant i just be normal?
i dont care about the will to live i just want my wits back. i want to read something and comprehend it.

>>23302480
Wow, how much do you weigh?

>>23302480
>taking iron without ferritin test
>not even taking a pregnancy test
Some people shouldn't practice guerilla medicine

>>23302511
You can start by taking vitamin b12 and iron. If that doesn't work, you could get checked out at the hospital, especially if it's starting to cause these serious problems.

>>23302527
>iron without ferritin test
>B12 before blood test
Nope

>>23302521
virgin.

>>23302520
43kilos as of this morning

>>23302537
>no ferritin test
>no gynae history at all
You're even less qualified to practice medicine on yourself. See a doctor, get a blood test and obgyn

>>23302497
>Is Gedhun Choekyi Nyima happier inside his high-security containment facility
If you seriously think that he's still alive then all hope is lost for you. China 100% murdered him as soon as they could after kidnapping him.
>He's safe and happy, he lives a normal life now, he went to school and he has a job.
Sure, China, sure.

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Just finished the book I've been reading, I thought it was really good but the ending was sad.

>>23302190
Never had them installed in my life. can confirm, am not missing the good stuff

>>23302205
why blame the kid? he didnt put those ideas in his head by himself

>>23302254
At least its going well with you in the end

>>23302564
Which book?

>>23302574
It's going well in the sense that I don't feel bad about pushing them away. My life separate from that though is fucking terrible.

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>>23302578
Fairy Tale by Stephen King.
>Oooh, you're reading King in 2024? What a normie loser.
That's just, like, your opinion, man. I like what I like, regardless of whether it's a "normie" book/author or not.

>>23302584
Calm down, anonkun, nobody cares if you're an edgy grill. I'm meant to be reading Strangers but i've fallen in love with the qt drunk grill who is probably dead and now it's been a week since I picked it up because I don't want to confirm my suspicions.

>>23302588
My bad. Also, I wouldn't call someone who reads King, edgy, but each to their own.

>>23302551
The question still stands, better dead or raped?

>>23302592
Idk enough about Stephen King fans to know more than "mostly female" and "sometimes Kubrick fanboys" so yeah

>>23302594
If he wasn't kidnapped by China, I'd say raped.

>>23302584
>pre-emptive defensiveness about the things he enjoys
I am not a King fan but if you enjoy his work that's pretty cool, anon. :)

>>23302601
You pretty much hit the nail on the head. I've been reading him a lot since I got back into reading a couple of years ago though, he's just very accessible and his quality is consistent.

>>23302613
I wouldn't have been so defensive if I was talking about it literally anywhere outside of this board. Motherfuckers here despise the guy for some reason. But then again, I don't think there's a single book that I could post about reading that wouldn't have a motherfucker shitting on it or me.

>>23302614
Yeah airport/train station/find it on the revolving book stand in the corner of the not-a-bookshop authors tend to be competent quick reads which don't require a lot of extra brain power.
>>23302619
>don't think there's a single book that I could post about reading that wouldn't have a motherfucker shitting on it or me.
There isn't, but King doesn't get that much hate because he's a book on how to be a pulp author the writer anons seem to like. Haven't read it or much of any King to judge, but he's definitely not short of sales and that's a pretty good success metric

The challenges are many, the need is urgent, and the ____ is busy following its desires...

Gonna find me some dinner and then watch This is Spinal Tap, how's your night/day going?

I'm from the Midwest. Should I check out the Middle East?

How am I ever meant to have a career if I'm not interested in anything?

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>500 word essay due by midnight
Wtf am I supposed to do?

>>23302177
Luck plays such a magnificently large role in getting a job

I minmax everything in my resume and portfolio and make sure it all exceeds the meta in the job market and go autismo mode for all my interviews shit but I'm still unemployed

My collegegoing brother (cs major) somehow lands an internship at JP Morgan as a finance role. They asked him insane softball questions in the interview. He has no relevant skills or experience but still lands a internship q.

>>23302844
You're kidding, right?

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>>23302844
>50 word sentence due in 5 days
FUUU

I keep thinking
>what am I going to eat tonight
And then 2 seconds later I'm reminded I have left over Chinese from yesterday.
This has happened 5 times already today

>>23302844
Are you in highschool? 1) it doesn't matter 2) just accept the tiny late penalty

>none of my writing got published
>gf of years broke up with me
>job search is shit even tho I have great experience
>all those around me are getting married or buying houses

Fuck man literally none of the goals I set out for myself and worked toward these last two years ago have worked out. this is the most depressed i've felt in years. I wish guns were available in my country so I could eat lead and be put out of my misery

>>23302995
anyone have any fun, escapist, well-written anime I can watch and drink beer to help me forget my pain?

>>23302886
Nah nepotism plays a bigger part. If you’re a sperg like me and can’t socialize properly good luck getting employed.

I’m losing my job in less than a week. I don’t care because I have plenty of experience and qualifications and can get one later, but I found out my unemployment will actually cover my rent and donating blood plasma will cover my car insurance, groceries, and gas. This is about to be a summer of Rocky-montaging literature and writing and hopefully getting published in one way or another.

>>23303004
The first two seasons of Rouroni Kenshin.

My mum is going to a farmers market/food truck thing tomorrow and she asked me if I wanted to come with her, I really want to but I'm way too broke for it, it makes me sad, I wish I had a fucking job.

>>23302177
I have been so wrong about everything

>>23302480
hey, I’ve been like this, and I sympathise. It sounds like you’re really depressed. I’ve still been really struggling with motivation and productivity as well, so I can’t be of much help there, but here’s some other advice.

I know how tempting it is to rot in bed if you’re feeling depressed—I’ve done it too, and have had days where I was too miserable to do anything. But it’s really important to get some sort of physical activity daily, and doing so will help your mental health to some extent. Something that has helped me is getting a smart watch/fitness tracker and setting a goal of 10 000 steps a day, which is about 80 minutes of walking. You can even set a much lower goal to start with, and then try to gradually increase it. It’s better for your mental health to walk outside, but if you don’t feel like going out, walking around your house is better than nothing.

Like other anons have said, you should get a blood test and see a doctor as soon as possible. You could be anemic, but it’s impossible to know for sure until you get your levels tested. However, taking vitamin D and a moderate dose of iron is probably a good first step, and even if you’re not super deficient it won’t do any harm. Your delayed menstrual cycle could be caused by anemia, but since you’ve said that you only weigh 43kg, it’s far more likely to be amenhorrea caused by having an unhealthily low percentage of body fat. Essentially, your reproductive system will shut itself down because you aren’t well-nourished enough to sustain a pregnancy. Unless you’re under 5 feet tall, your BMI is currently well within the “underweight” category. I know it can be hard to feel motivated to cook or eat when you’re feeling really depressed, but try getting some foods that are calorically dense and really easy to access without requiring preparation. Things like granola bars, nuts, and pre-made nutrition drinks like Ensure could be helpful for you. Also consider buying frozen microwaveable meals; they aren’t the healthiest option, but they are an easy thing to prepare that will at least help you get some calories, and it’s better than skipping meals altogether because you aren’t motivated to cook.

>>23303085
>even if you’re not super deficient it won’t do any harm
If they've an inflammatory disease it's going to do a lot of harm. If they've a couple of anemias that aren't iron deficiency, it's going to do the same. I agree it's likely to be unhealthy lifestyle, but you do not give iron supplements for an unhealthy lifestyle for very good reason, because iron can fuck a person up.

>>23303005
Well besides the fact that daddy sets you up with a c-suite role, luck is huge

Let's say you are a sperg and your interview is with a fellow sperg who has a similar niche interest, then you're sorted. It's gravy

>>23303095
You’re overstating the danger of this. My parents are both primary health care providers, and when I had symptoms of anemia they told me to begin taking FeraMax while I was waiting to be able to get a requisition for bloodwork. Of course it’s necessary to have blood tests, which is why I said she should do that as soon as possible, but taking a moderate dose of iron for a week or two while you’re waiting to get in to see a doctor is extremely unlikely to be harmful, and may very well be beneficial seeing as iron deficiency anemia is by far the most common nutritional deficiency, especially among women. Yes, iron can fuck a person up, that generally only occurs when they take inappropriately high doses of iron supplements for a prolonged period of time.

>>23303176
It's also not recommended if you suspect anorexia, bevautse it's not well tolerated at the best of times. Your parents being shitty doctors who apparently thought they were emotionally involved enough to prescribe you iron as a child isn't any kind of bone fide. I really hope you're female, and they're just slightly arrogant, because if they did that to a male child, that's approaching assault. It's like if you told anon your parents both used colloidal silver and they're fully qualified naturopaths rn, but if you're male, they passed so many ethical alarm bells that's either not a real medical degree or they wanted you to suffer.

>>23303176
...do you think MDs are inherited titles? wtf?

Why the heck am I so tired, bros? This is so fucked.

I fucking hate Computer Science and am dropping this degree

>>23303209
Are you me?

I can’t stress this enough, if you didn’t date your high school crush and marry her later on your life is irreparably languished, that fatal lack of intimacy will haunt you until the day of death, and your reputation as a loser in high school will precede you after it. You skipped a critical stage of development. You had the opportunity of a lifetime and missed it. A woman who lost her virginity to you, who took your virginity, who has never came with another man, who has never been penetrated by anyone but you, you will never have that now. That farm of generating positive energy where you are nice to each other, help each other, and love each other, that is a deeply spiritual thing, if you lack that love you lack spiritual development. That undivided attention where no one is thinking about anyone else during sex, the emotional depth of such intimacy is euphoric, wholesome, pure, and does not exist unless all the prerequisites are met. The fidelity, the experience of having grown up together, and known each other’s bodies throughout all of its changes, that cannot be replicated. Everything other than that is faux sex, it’s prostitution. I’m good looking so you want to fuck me, I’m wealthy so you want to fuck me, I bought you a ring so you want to fuck me, I bought dinner so you want to fuck me, what a worthless, shitty, monotonous existence. A sex life devoid of love.
>hurr durr can’t wait to pork the same whore before she bankrupts me I’m better than everyone because of this
Nah nigga. You’re a loser. You’re coping with buyers remorse, but that bitch you pledged your money to is an overpriced hooker, and you dressing her up and shilling thousands on a wedding is you putting lipstick on a pig, you’re the loser here. I would argue more so than a forever alone. They at least have time to themselves(even if that’s all they have), you’re just some retard who argues constantly, gets yelled at, prodded, fucked with, shit on, and you go unappreciated. And god forbid children come from such a union. Isn’t it upsetting to have a whore mom? Like nigga lord knows how many dudes have been in the hole that you’re entire body came out of, imagine a billion dudes rubbing their dicks on you, that’s basically the same thing. It’s repugnant, disgusting, and although I can’t explain why it is satanic. Any attempt at forgiving women for their promiscuity is (for lack of a better word) simping, it is casuistry, and it is peddling overpriced schlock.

I hate the way I look. It actually makes feel like hard work is hopeless, because I don’t have the fundamental features I need to achieve what I want in life and even if I did acquire them somehow, I’ll always have photographic evidence of that history.

>>23302364
None. Now fuck off

>>23302480
How's your diet and exercise

>>23303209
Many such cases

who are your favorite short story writers?

>>23303186
Yes, I’m female, and I was 20 at the time so not a child. When I did get bloodwork shortly after it turned out that I was in fact anemic, and my doctor advised me to continue taking FeraMax, but to increase the dose from the 45mg I was previously taking to 150mg until my levels were back to normal.

If you’re going to make the accusation that suggesting iron supplements is tantamount to assault, then I would hope that you yourself have a medical degree that gives you some sort of unique expertise in this area. If you are an expert, and moderate iron supplementation is as dangerous as you claim, then why do the majority of multivitamins geared towards women of childbearing age contain iron? I’m not asking to be snarky; I’m genuinely curious as to why its use would be so widespread if it is so problematic.

>>23303193
Of course not, and I already advised that the original anon should go see a MD as soon as possible. I’m just recounting my own experience to make the point that two people who have decades of experiences in healthcare would be seriously unlikely to suggest short-term moderate iron supplementation to their own child if is acutely dangerous.

Crazy how knowing the right guy can make all the difference in even the smallest things

I've been trying to get a short story published for months but have struggled to find the right magazine or set of editors for this particular kind of story. Just asked a acquaintance and she said she knew an editor friend who then came back to me with 3 or 4 places that publish stories similar to what my story was going for. The problem I had forgotten months was solved just like that

Connections and knowledge (and a bit of luck and skill) are truly what gets you places

“I see no reasone,” JULIUS starts, “to adopt the vague notation of fate, which is often associated with love. Our culture propagates this prejudicy without any reasone and the crowd, as everytime, just take it as granded for some reason”.
“While I understand your point, I have to point to the fact that your speech doesn't provide us with a reasone to doubt it, either,” JOHN responded, “by trying to reflect my own experice, I note something. I would claim that the first love you have may be an accident, all the following cases of love seem to have some necessity in them. It is as if you are imprinted by the first girl you love and look for the same qualities in girls from then on.
Back in my school days, I got a crush on one of the girls in my class. While I note her shortcomings clearly, maybe I was more aware of them than most other young man, I would have, at this time, take anything just to be with her”.
“Maybe,” JULIUS laught, “you has already developed some preferences. If the assume that this preferences keep being the same at your entire life, there is no reasone to think of them as caused by 'imprinting' from your first crush. It could be that your preferences has been already there and they just show themselfs up for the first time”.
“From a merely rational point of view, you may be right,” JOHN says now, “but I still can't believe it. Because of the nature of my preferences. My first love was a girl who can hardly be described as intelligent. She lacks some of the intellectual qualities that almost all men find attractive. She was ranther slow at thinking, nearly inable to hold a deeper conversations and, I swear, never reflect herself.
Instead, she was known for slutty behavior”.

>>23303343
> then why do the majority of multivitamins geared towards women of childbearing age contain iron?

Women lose iron through the blood during menstruation. Therefor, women can have even a greater demand of iron than men.

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The prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, predicted that Arabia would turn green again.

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Been on this shitty website for almost 18 years and get called election tourist or zoomer lol

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>>23302190
I've dropped instagram for the last 2 years now. I genuinely feel more at peace mentally. Nothing is more isolating than seeing those whom you are acquainted or friends with live their lives but never have to talk to them about it. Yeah I know I sound pretentious when I say this but I'd rather meet people and hear about their lives from them then see a soapy filtered version of their lives.

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Getting back into art again after almost 3 years and damn, its rough. I've gotten so rusty, but now that I have some time to myself, I hope I'll get better at a steady pace. I just need to be more focused.

>>23303419
pbuh

>>23303445
what do you say when girls ask for your insta

>>23303424
Which boards

>>23303458
I just say I don't have any.
Here's a tip for you anon: If they're weirded out by you not having an insta then its best to dip. They will most likely not be worth your time. Or you can go the pretentious route too but that takes effort to pull off.

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>>23303467

>>23303485
What

>>23303488
it's easy for someone else to say 'just don't bother; don't sleep with her'

>>23303499
So what do you want me to say? I tell you to go fucking everything with 2 legs?

>>23303504
just reminded me of this little passage

>>23303485
We all have had this one friend who flies from girl to girl and enjoy his young.
They suffer horrific after hitting the wall...

>>23303424
I miss the good old days when for half of the year they would call me a summerfag. :(

>>23303540
all animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it.

when I think of it, old me was very successful in many ways. I had a smart and beautiful girlfriend, lots of friends, I had places to go. I was a college student with near-infinite future paths. now I am alone with half a job and none of these.

I did it to myself, too. I wonder how old me would react if he glimpsed into the future. I think he'd say "why did you let her go you fucking idiot? she was half of my everything" or maybe he'd look at me in distress and ask why I gave up. maybe he would get mad. I've caused him more harm than anyone else in the world, I wouldn't mind if he tried to kill me or something. I deserve it.

and the worst thing about all of this is that deep down I still think I can fix it. I tell myself this is all a sacrifice for a greater purpose but I don't think I am the man of faith I pretend to be. sometimes, out of the blue when I am alone, I scream "Kill me!" and "I want to turn back time!", which are clear signs that I am unwell. If I continue to lean in that direction I'm afraid I will lose myself even more. I'm tired and scared of everything. it's getting rough

>>23303343
Like the other anon said, women can shed iron. Men cannot. However, women also make up the majority of inflammatory disease patients, and iron can cause a permanently debilitating or fatal crisis in those. Beyond that, they can tell if you're showing signs or symptoms of other anemias where iron is also going to cause a major crisis and maybe death.
Maybe anon has stopped menstruating because she's not eating enough: iron is even more aggressively inflammatory and badly absorbed if you don't have other nutrients which tend to get depleted first. Even people who eat well often stop iron supplements because of the side effects on their digestive comfort, and that's when they're eating enough to absorb it properly.
Saying there's no harm just is not true. There is a reason why all those vitamins have a caveat on it saying to ask your doctor and it cannot replace a varied diet, because if they say it can, they get sued.

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>>23303604
as a younger man, I always thought "why do people become alcoholics? that shit is destroying their lives", now I understand why. they're doing it because their lives are already shit. I should stop whining. it's getting rough

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>>23303614

>>23303613
i don't get iron supplements .. like just eat liver

Fuck man, me taking my writing seriously has fucked me up. I used to read and write for fun for years. Until I accidentally got published and folks said I should write more because I have talent. Now, along with the stresses of work and everyday life, I have writing goals and that now creates and even greater burden in my life.

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>>23302177
How does a hard right leaning person like me engage with sociology? Seems the field is full of critical theorists, feminists, and neocolonial scholars.

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awful book design these days.
i know it's just a fussy little concern... but it's not is it? things looking good is important. it's better for things to look good than to look bad.

>>23303613
>Like the other anon said, women can shed iron
Scientific reason for this? I want to know because I’m male and had an iron deficiency as a kid and had to take iron supplements but was taken off because it made my teeth black back then

>>23303676
their period

>>23303679
Oh ok figured

>>23303649
Also waiting for a response to this

>>23303649
every academic field is full of leftists though

>>23303701
Yeah unfortunately. I’m pretty much a tradcon and it enrages me.

Why should I not get a PhD?

>>23303705
In English? If you aren't interested in working in a college environment don't get one. That is mostly all it's good for. Some PhD graduates will find work in a corporation if their PhD was centered around oratory and public address but those people are the exception rather than the rule.

>>23303663
>KJV
Basically a political document. English readers should be reading the ISV and no others.

>>23303604
Laughed out loud, made my morning. Thanks for this blogpost

>>23303728
seems cringe

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Should I fucking move to another country to do a master's degree in a field I enjoy (ESG shit) given that I don't care at all for my cozy office job?

>>23303629
Drunk on pussy juice

>>23303613
Okay. I’m aware that women can shed iron during menstruation; what I’m curious about is why women’s multivitamins containing iron are so widely used if, as you say, any amount of supplemental iron is highly dangerous. The majority of women take supplements of some kind, yet death and acute health problems caused by the amount of iron in standard multivitamins is not a widespread problem. I shouldn’t have said that there’s “no harm”, because anything can potentially be harmful under certain conditions, but it still seems like you’re overstating the risk. The caveat on vitamin bottles is there as a disclaimer for legal reasons in exceptional cases, but the vast, vast majority of people who take multivitamins without a doctor’s express instruction will not be harmed, and may very well benefit. They don’t replace a healthy, varied diet, but they can still help prevent deficiencies.

Iron deficiency anemia is very common among women; the other conditions and forms of anemia you describe are, to my knowledge, statistically much more rare. The digestive side effects of supplements can be uncomfortable, and I’ve experienced them firsthand, but there are things you can do to mitigate that, like reducing the dose, switching to another form of iron that is better tolerated, or changing the timing of it around your meals. As I said, anon should get bloodwork done and see a doctor as soon as possible to figure out what’s wrong, but I don’t think that suggesting she take a multivitamin containing a moderate amount of iron and Vitamin D as a first step until she can get an appointment is dangerous advice.

>women
>Jews
>blacks
>war
>religion
>economy
>technology
>cats and stuff
That’s pretty much all there is to talk about in this world. Once you’ve exhausted that it’s pretty much repeating yourself over and over. Life is boring.

>>23303949
i talk about frost flowers and inuit's baby names

Should I watch Civil War?

Got the issue I was stressing about yesterday resolved this morning, all is well, good feeling :)

>>23303949
art?

>>23302177

>read any piece of good fiction
>have 5 ideas for own stories by the end of the first para
>can't focus on reading anymore
this has been my life for tree years now

Listening to a choir sing Blake's Jerusalem, the Anthem is the only thing that makes me feel better after a day of living in this nightmare tyranny and being caught in the gears of the terror apparatus

>>23304097
link? never considered listening to a choir sing long-form poetry such as that work, that's a very appealing idea

>>23304107
Yeah I made that mistake in the past as well, It's not Jerusalem the Emanation, it's an excerpt taken from the beginning of Milton
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKRHWT6xdEU
Whilst I'm here, this also cheers me up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hudNoXsUj0o

>>23304010
Alex Garland is a great filmmaker so I'd say yes

>>23304116
thanks, anon

i trade you this Bach Flute Sonata no. 1 i was listening to earlier; Bach and most other composers i love are fantastic for cheering me up, especially any kind of wind instrument sonata:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4q3w1g5MiU

seems like you might prefer choral music however, so just in case here's a Bach cantata, BWV 202:

https://youtu.be/w75Ygnws66Q?si=kqr-FSYkRASHmUJq

hope you enjoy :)

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I’m a fucking chinlet. That’s the brutal truth. Only thing I can do is hide my true goblin nature behind the mask of a beard. Now that I’ve shaved I see my true self, and everyone else can too. A sewage goblin. A sexual pervert madly peeking his animalistic snotty nose out of the gutter’s grate. A dirty, oily, slippery flabby-bodied goblin who can fit through small gaps and whose ass spews diarrhoea as he runs away from society, weeping and jerking off. A weak rugbyball-head bastard. I hate myself.

>>23304186
lmfao

>>23304186
why did you shave? lmao

>>23304194
moment of wild abandon hahaha

>>23304186
post physiognomy

>>23304186
one day I shaved with my date in another room and when I came back to her, her mouth drew a thin line. she said "I don't like it when you look.... like this, you know"

this is what happens to us mangoblins. micro goblin agressions

>>23303604
>college
kek, yea everything you were 'successful' in was simulated. college is now just a hedonic cesspool that suspends your maturity because of how fake and gay it is.

Maybe a silly or redundant thought, but just in reading a bit of this latest self-immolation guy writing, I just thought how funny context is..

Because I could well imagine some parts there being uttered by a character in a "postmodern" novel, and the very same people chiding it now, would be praising it and saying it's deep or stimulating

I’ve never wanted to leave my college town, let alone my state. Is that weird? It seems like everyone is in a rush to get to San Francisco or Austin or Miami or New York, but none of these places appeal to me.

One of the things that’s hard to square with Spengler is the fact that there are many cities in the world which are far more populous than any in the West.

>>23302177
I need my ex back, or at least to kiss her one last time.

>>23304278
yeah me too. but after that, I'd want more

>>23304311
You're probably right. I could live quite contentedly if knew that I would live just long enough to get published, spend one more night with her, and then die (preferably in that order, and before I turn 30).

How do you stop thinking about someone

>>23304337
Don't try to not think about them anyway. Guaranteed failure. Its like trying to get to sleep when you can't. Yknow, 'don't think of a pink elephant'. What you need to do instead is focus your energy/ time on something else. Get stuck into a project you need to work on. Or do some exercise. But don't try to suppress the thoughts of this person if they unexpectedly pop into your head. Instead acknowledge the thoughts, don't ignore them, they'll just pop back even stronger. Take it from someone with OCD.

>>23303903
Nta but vitamins and supplements are almost completely unregulated. That's why people who think they're just taking a protein bulking powder wind up testing positive for steroids they didn't know they were getting. It's also why Scientology uses high dose vitamins and fucks people up in their weird sauna detoxes because you can give people almost anything as vitamins with no medical certification and nobody who handles drugs or poisons has any authority to tell you to not hand out insane doses. They can tell people not to take them, but they can't stop you telling other people to take them or regulate their sale or guarantee their contents because of a pre modern medicine loophole which classes all of them as not drugs. That's why a lot of MLMs and cults use them too

I wonder what the significance of America’s single biggest journalism and news media personality dropping out to live in a cabin in Maine and returning to civilization only to go full Ted K pill with the biggest podcast host in the world on his show is.

It does feel like we are living through a paradigm shift. 10 years ago, these opinions were fringe. They’re common now.

>>23304394
Who are you talking about?

>>23304186
Lovely description of your condition.

>>23304253
It took me a while to realize how much of an awful and pernicious normie mentality that all is. I'll admit I was also a victim of it.

>>23304369
I can’t focus on anything else for more than a couple of hours before the thoughts come back

race. war. NOW!

Sorry, saying that will never stop being amusing and slightly humorous to me.

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I'm bald, 1.8 meter (6 feet) tall, sharp chin and demeanor, aloof and unique deep voice that I rarely use; overall im intimitading to normies. People think that Im some thug who would kill anyone just for looking at me. But in reality im on verge of tears half of the time, clumsy af, an immense nerd and a romantic who's taste in women is opposite of expecations. God I want a just as tall if not taller woman to push me against a wall, imprint her lipstick all over my face and then cuddle me to sleep. Even if I directly told people all of this I bet nobody would ever believe me.

I'm such a chud.
Please forgive me.

Some passion into me force me to test my skill, to take a challenge -- to translate, finally!
I've tried my skill on Nietzsche for now and I have to admitt that I has harmed the beautyfull language in which Nietzsche used to wrote. His German sounds so well, though I'm unable to understand the magic of his style and can't bring it into English.
Maybe, English is more the language for another kind of literatur?

>>23304253
I've lived in several different parts of the country, in big cities, suburbs, and college towns.

Big cities are absolute shitholes to be avoided. A nice college town in a rural area is maximum comfy.

>>23304384
Generally if you're prescribed vitamins you'll be getting lab tested and produced ones with known values if you're one of the rare cases where you need medical grade supplements. But yes, most of it isn't subject to oversight or testing.
>>23303903
>the other conditions and forms of anemia you describe are, to my knowledge, statistically much more rare.
PCOS is just one inflammatory condition. If you overload them with iron because you didn't do a blood test, they're probably going to have a worse time. Is one of the risks you've decided anon can take is not having kids? That's just one common inflammatory condition. These aren't rare conditions which nobody has, and people regularly fuck themselves up with OTC supplements even without preexisting conditions.
There's very little chance what anon needs is iron supplements, and if it's *not* just a case of bad diet, improve diet (still shouldn't be a case of taking iron supplements) then you're looking at a woman who cannot shed iron taking more iron. Even if it doesn't result from a condition which might cause her immediate harm that is going to fuck her test results- if her ferritin comes back high, was that because of the supplement or because she was already in an inflammatory crisis? If her ferritin comes back normal, is that because of the supplement, or was it in normal ranges anyway? There's no way to tell, and if her ferritin is normal and all the other results for malnutrition are fucked, is she going to get an unnecessary investigation? Is she not going to get the investigation she needs? If she has cancer, is it going to get viewed as more aggressive because she's dumping more iron into cells than most people with free iron in their blood? Are you sure she's a white female who has been living with your parents for 20 years and has the same medical history, living conditions and water supply as you, and how much of her liver, ovaries and bone marrow are you willing to bet on it?

>>23304466
>6ft
that's borderline average

>>23304504
Fuck...

>>23304525
Makes It easier to find tall girls though

It's been a week since I started feeling a deep, visceral terror that wont leave at any moment of the day or night. I can only escape it in my dreams sometimes.
I can't talk about it with anyone because it feels like all that comes out of my mouth is poison. I don't wish to inflict this on anyone I love. Perhaps on an untrained, newbie psychologist.
I wake up in a world of horror where evil reigns supreme. All of the good people out there either aren't (merely harmless) or are powerless before the corrupting powers of pleasure.
I see evil on the face of every man, woman and child. I feel it inside of me. It feeds my sexual power fantasies. I am afraid of what I can do when I break away from the entertainment industry. I feel so alone and so scared all the time.
I seeJesus on the cross, politicans talking like big paternal figures, the attempts normal people make to embellish this world even a little bit (something as simple as a welcome door mat), and I just want to cry. I want to cry because I live in a brutal universe full of evil that cannot be stopped. I cry because the only way to escape from desire (my own and others) is through the total annihilation of death.
Like a cold, loveless hug from a cold, loveless universe. I've learnt to take comfort on eternal blackness. Sometimes a new fear creeps into me. The fear that there is indeed something else. Something beyond our reckoning or understanding. An unimaginable new experience as intense as our very lives right now.
But I am here, existing. Typing this out because I feel so alone and destitute. Because I can't take away my eyes from the comforting diversions and lies. If I smash all of my screens I will go fucking insane.
Sometimes I want to go there, beyond this fear, beyond this sinking feeling that sticks to me 24/7. Embrace that bleak cold because I have hope that there's something beyond. Something that hides behind the insanity of a mind free from distractions and lies and certainty.
I don't want to die, but I ain't keen on living either.
What will I do next, I wonder.

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when i'm in bed, i instantly feel better after putting my phone on airplane mode. placebo?
i'm really getting wrapped up in this dangers of EMF radiation stuff. this time next year, tin foil hats

>>23304537
Surely a placebo.
The government doesn't need magical technology to fuck with your brain.
You deal with one risk factor, now deal with the other million.
You will still go insane and die.

>>23304544
no it's not a mind control thing, just that EMF radiation stresses your cells, can cause insomnia. it does make sense to me...
>You will still go insane and die.
true

>>23304537
>i'm really getting wrapped up in this dangers of EMF radiation stuff
This shit is flying around in the air everywhere all the time. Putting your phone on airplane mode wouldn't make a noticeable difference. Perhaps you feel better because you know you can't be bothered by calls or notifications?

>>23304400
Tucker Carlson. He recently appeared on Joe Rogan’s podcast.

>>23304571
it’s bluetooth right next your dome

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>>23304421
Are you still in contact with this person? If not, congratulations, give it time. In time you'll think of them less and less and eventually you will wake up one morning and when you think of them, you'll say to yourself 'God, I remember when I was obsessed with him/her and thought I couldn't live without them, how silly I was back then'. God luck, anon. Give it time desu.

>>23304413
It is normie, but it’s also the sentiment among people who want to make money and make something of themselves financially. There was money to be made in Austin, San Francisco, etc. If you look at elites in America, most of them are people who left their homes to go to elite schools like Harvard and Yale and then came back home to be professionals there or are people who moved to New York and San Francisco and got rich.

>>23304479
I like cities sometimes. Recently, I’ve been thinking of buying a condo in the city. It’s the only place I can really afford to own anyway. Houses are too expensive but condos are affordable.

I wonder what my 100 followers think of my writing considering they NEVER FUCKING LEAVE A COMMENT

I’ve surrounded myself with successful people and play at being like them. It’s not sustainable. I’m a poor white out of my element. At the end of the day the jacket comes off and I’m still in the same position I’ve been in for a decade.

I am an antinatalist because I reject the negative conditions of human embodiment (perpetual biological need, inherent vulnerability and inescapable death). This isn't good enough to instill for another to deal with.

But lately I've been thinking, this rejectionist philosophy is passive, anti-violence, and kind of sissy and cringe. It's to look at this world with all it's miseries and sufferings and say "this isn't good enough", "this offends my moral sensibilities". But maybe the issue here isn't the world but rather my rejection of it, my disgust at how evil and torturous this place is. And instead of trying to or wishing radically alter the world to conform to my standards I should instead adjust my standards.

That is to say, accepting, not rejection creation. And accepting everything - the violence the suffering the torture death and misery, and the happiness and love. Instead of rebelling against and rejecting this world, maybe I should instead revel I and embrace this horrorscape. Instead of thinking we are in hell and something must be done to cure this situation, it is to accept and embrace we are in hell. Maybe this world IS good enough, and I should accept it all. Embrace its suffering and revel in it.

An old friend who ghosted me is posting vaguely about missing me. It makes me want to shout I'M NOT DEAD YOU DUMB BITCH but I won't send a fifth message to someone who ignored four of mine in a row

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>>23302177
>taking a walk
>say hello to neighbor's high school daughter from the bus
>she nods in recognition
>looks like a goth Zooey Deschanel, but in her prime
>reminds me of my high school days again, nearly 15 years ago at this point
>"missed out on teenage love" meme starts to hit hard

Why there's no more /clg/? Haven't seen it in a while and I'm restarting to learn Latin

when the fuck did a simple haircut with clippers start costing 45 fucking dollars? I'm just gonna keep shaving my head.

>>23304657
Baldbros, we can't stop winning..

>>23304656
Forget about it, I'm dumb as a brick

The agitation keeps building to a point that I feel like I can’t not do it but every time that I do it and get ignored I just get so upset that it’s so hard to stop

the real beauty of a vacation is not just enjoying an exotic location, but to have time to reflect outside of your normal life. To think about what has been working well, what doesn't really work, what can change, either by improving it or getting rid if it. It is an outside perspective retreat of yourself, in order to better adjust things accordingly. Go on vacation if it's been a while, it will do you a lot of good

>>23304624
You never know what's going on in someone's life. Unless he ghosted you last month or something what do you really have to lose by reaching out?

At this point I have no choice but to keep doing it until my brain explodes
I’ve been doing it for so long that I’ve forgotten how to care about anything else
And everything that I find makes me upset it’s not even a dopamine hit anymore reading it just hurts but I can’t stop

There have been some days last week and this week that I’ve felt better and more lucid but the bad feeling always comes back and it’s like the lows are getting worse than they’ve ever been and my appointment with the psychiatrist isn’t until June so I don’t know what I’m going to do

I keep getting these notifications from my smartwatch like “your stress level is unusually high. relax with a breathing activity” but nothing is helping me relax right now

>>23304657
I've been going to a really good barber. I'm so happy with how he makes me look. That fucker reeled me in though. The first haircut was cheap. Less than 20 bucks. But he raises the price every single time. I'm up to 35 dollar haircuts now. He's like a dealer who gets someone hooked.

>>23304643
Just because you missed out on teenage love doesn't mean you can't still make love to a teenager

>>23304753
>not just cutting your own hair at home
ngmi

>>23304010
Yeah why not?

Taking effort to remember my despair during frantic days of distraction.

>>23304657
I take the buzz pill now.

Have any of you managed to make literature friends by going to reading or writing clubs or something?

Sometimes I wish I joined the military when I graduated. It’s not even that I believe in military service or that it’s a good job. It’s just that it confers all sorts of lifelong benefits, even less visible ones. Vets often have strong and lasting friendships. Many of them have strong leadership qualities and are just strong men from what I can tell.

>>23304865
yeah, plus I get like 1900 dollars a month for the rest of my life for 'ptsd'

>>23304131
>>23304761
I just watched it. There was a couple boring parts near the beginning-middle, but overall it was a great movie, and the POV of the war photographers was interesting and 100% makes it a worthwhile watch for war movie fans as a different experience from the soldiers. The young war photographer girl was cute, so if you like cute girls then it's also a must watch.

Please don’t just ignore me

>>23302177
Roommate asking where I go out all the time.
In truth I just drive around aimlessly because I have no social life and just want to get out to clear my head.
So I just laughed hesitantly and said I go to the gym occasionally.
Rather they be suspicious of me then know just how big of a loser I am

New to this site, came here to discuss literature mostly. I just have to ask whats with all the racism/homophobia? There seems to be a lot of hateful people on this site which I am not cool with

>>23304946
never understood people who 'drive around.' driving sucks and is expensive. Why not walk around? or sit around?

>>23304952
go back nigger

the internet words 'sexo' and 'booba' make me laugh almost every time.

>>23304941
i gotchu. i hope she replies!

The insidiousness of the pleasant present. The false hope. Today I feel healthy, strong, clear-eyed, sharp, light. I lose the clarity of my past and the trend-line of my future. Today I am productive, industrious, useful. This may last days or weeks, but it doesn’t last.

>>23304962
I do walk around but you can't get far out to nature walking. I like to go out in the middle of nowhere to truly be alone
Sitting around is already what I do most of the time
When I get in my car and drive I feel active like I am actually doing something
Of course the downside is it makes people think you are some kind of suspicious character when you frequently get in your car and drive late at night

>>23304976
life is so much better as a schizo when you live alone. I don't need to hide how I am from roommates or family.

>>23304982
of course, it's only a consolation. My life is still miserable, but I can sit alone for weeks without anyone bothering to ask me why. nothing worse than being questioned about your lonely life.

>>23304916
There are so many wonderful webms of her on /tv/. You might like this
https://youtu.be/ubTUZa51A3w?si=6MDuR7ybXxupche9

Anyway movie itself was alright. It was a breath of fresh air that it was non political. Wouldn't call it anything special though.

>>23304982
I hate it desu. It's so annoying knowing if I want to leave my roommates will all hear me leaving.
If I told the truth that I just drive aimlessly around for hours, he'd probably think I was lying
People are just curious and nosy. Wish I had the money to live alone

>>23304982
Rates of suicide increase among schizophrenics who live alone

>>23304990
my condolences bro, I know how you feel.
>>23304993
I meant schizoid, not schizo.

>>23304962
Different mood. I like walks, but the distance I can walk is realistically limited. Driving allows me to cruise and go far. I like that feeling of the wind with the windows down and the radio loud. I used to mix it up. Make a drive to somewhere new and far away and then walk around that area.

>>23303271
lol, mad

>>23303222
I only read your first sentence and you need to answer me this before I read the rest of your text blob. Did YOU marry your high school crush anon? Or is this you spiraling about missed opportunities and trying to justify giving up on life?

>>23304993
But they never really are

>>23304986
Maybe it's because I'm into photography (even considered war photography at one point). I liked the angle a lot, also it's fun to see modern war in the US like Red Dawn. You can also tell the director was implicitly shooting Cailee Spaeny's beauty, there was so much focus on it in some scenes, and since I like cute girls I appreciated it.
I saw leftists complaining that it wasn't more satirical about Trumpists or whatever, if that's what you mean; thankfully it wasn't because that would be boring, but there was some relevant political commentary (mentioning stuff like the president's 3rd term).

>>23305011
nta but are you retarded? what's the point of asking that question?
>drowning must suck
>did YOU drown anon?
>being poor in Afghanistan and not having access to water must suck
>did YOU live in Afghanistan?

'fucking idiot that you are. I hope you get mad seeing my comment because I hate dumbfucks like you.

>>23304962
I hate driving. I haven’t driven in months. My car just sits in my garage.

>>23305020
I'll take that as a no. lol

I am cringe incarnate.

>>23304965
He won’t even reply he never even replies because he’s mad and he’s always going to be mad he only replies itt when I said the readability looks rlly bad which was actually true but I shouldn’t have used that tone but I was just upset with what he was doing because he was being rlly spiteful and I felt like he was taking the content from last year to mock me and I thought he would know it was me saying that? And he said you’re right how should I fix it what would you suggest and we have the same floor are we neighbours but we aren’t neighbours at all and he knows we aren’t that’s just coincidental that we both have that same style of parquet so after that I couldn’t even reply or tell him what I think because it’s bad to do that if he doesn’t know it’s me and I thought he would know it was me because of what I said and because I always have a lot of the New Yorkers and I always used to tell him about stuff I read in The New Yorker but maybe he doesn’t remember that anyway I have like a whole stack of them because one of my neighbours has a subscription and leaves all the past issues on the communal bookshelf in the laundry room when they’re done reading them and I always take them to read and not all of the articles are interesting but some of the ones about literature are like there was a rlly good one about James Joyce a while ago and sometimes interesting ones about music too like talking about the Animal Collective and I used to cut out interesting images from the magazines and use them to make collages sometimes and also John Ashbery made rlly amazing collages and I like looking at photos of them he didn’t just write poetry he did other kinds of art too but a lot of anons don’t know about that anyway sometimes I would cut out cartoons from The New Yorker that I think are funny or poems that I want to put on my corkboard above my desk and I used to like doing that a lot but I don’t enjoy anything anymore I don’t know why nothing feels good anymore and I only have the bad feeling all the time

>>23305031
Yeah, you are.

>>23305055
holy fuck this bitch is hysterical lol

>>23305055
O_O

>>23305055
That was a somewhat interesting read, ngl. Well, um, I hope whatever the issue is, it all works out.

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hey lit anons quick question. I "write" short stories. Is it based or cringe to make characters in different stories related? It wasn't planned, it just happened as I was working but when I reread it, it feels so:
>look at me I'm world building, aren't I clever?

also anyone else have trouble working without ambient noise or distractions? everytime I try to work in my apartment I can never get started, but when I'm out at a bar or visiting family, everything comes to me.

>>23305075
why did you put write in quotes...
As long as you are writing, you are based.

>>23305075
I would find it appealing. And hmm I should give that a try. You don't feel self-conscious or ridiculous writing in a bar, though? I might try it at a local Starbucks, however I find my best prose comes when I am writing with a computer and I don't have a laptop at the moment.

>>23305075
>Is it based or cringe to make characters in different stories related
Meh, it can go either way. Like most anything it's the execution not the form that matters. I don't think most people do it for world building, though maybe there's genres with a bias to that, because most people who wind up doing it are trying to keep a franchise running and it starts looking more like a cash grab

>>23305066
what does that mean??? I don’t even know what that one means

>>23305110
Anon has found a post rather surprising or perturbing, question mark schizo lady

>>23305083
>qoutes
because my work isnt good enough to be called writing. calling it writing feels terribly pretensious and dishonest. I scribble/jot/log/work, I don't write.

>>23305085
eh not really, I only get self conscious when I eat in public, especially if there's a pretty girl sitting nearby; having crooked teeth is a self esteem crusher. I've only been to starbucks twice and I didn't like the plastic chairs or the bright lighting. If you want to try working in public, I'd find a niche bar. Look up Map Room in Chicago, IL, (it's the best place to work) then compare it to your local bars.


>>23305103
>franchise running
this is all private work. I'm never going to publish and I left instructions for all my work to be destroyed when I die.
most of my work starts as writing down bad dreams I have. Then I expound upon them; like what happened before the dream started and what happened after I left it.

>>23305121
>this is all private work
Then who the fuck is cringing at it besides you? Do whatever you want, man. Give them all pixie wings and favourite Beatles, who's gonna know?

>>23303238
lift weights, eat right, lose weight, get lasik, get braces, get a different haircut, clean up your eyebrows, start a good skin care routine. Buy some decent clothes/shoes. fyi every dude looks good in a pair of chelsea boots, properly tailored slacks and a fitted button up shirt. or continue doom posting

Even in my dreams he's insane, muttering softly so the walls can't hear. "Look, there's your nemesis." He says and gestures towards the back patio. Outside, I can see Jess fighting with another orange cat, except this one was mangy and thin with patches of fur missing. It's fangs and claws were tinged with yellow and they were large and talon-like. I screamed not because of the pain as it dug them into my arm as I tried to separate the two cats, but because I was horrified by what type of bacteria it was putting into my system. Banging desperately against the glass door and yelling weakly for my father, I wake up. It was much too real, and as I lay in bed trying to fall back asleep, I scare myself with the idea that no one is going to remember how my brother was before he flipped, and I force myself to drudge up any sort of memory I have of him before then. I picture him clearly and then worry more that version of him is still in there, screaming for help against this new persona that has taken over.

I just watched a tiktok of a guy buying a bunch of hotdogs from a street cart, giving the guy a big tip, and then giving them to homeless people and I almost started crying.

I have an ugly gummy smile, but I am very quick to laugh and smile.

>>23305152
I'd kill myself if I had gums.

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>>23305011
>Or is this you spiraling about missed opportunities and trying to justify giving up on life?
Yeah it's just a way to justify being an unhappy loser that absolves himself of all blame. A staple for modern men, especially on 4chan. I bet the Jews personally stopped him from marrying his high school crush.
Im sure anon would be happy and satisfied in a relationship and wouldn't have anything else in the world to struggle or worry about.

>>23305146
Good to be homeless that day.

>>23305146
>ill tell you what I'll give you 500 bucks for the busket. put the bottle in the busket. put the rag in the busket- hand it to me. get a hotel, get a room, shower shave, get a suit get off the sauce, if I see you on the streets again I'll fucking shoot you.

>>23305020
Usually people have context to the things that come to their mind, especially the subjects that are sensitive to them. People don't bring things up for no reason.
>>drowning must suck
The anon you're defending is speaking matter-of-fact as if he's an authority on the subject. Not as if he's speculating and leaving room to be wrong. So I'll correct this conversation for you.
>Drowning sucks
>Did you drown anon?
And the first speaker can either reply with
>Yeah I drowned as a kid and they had to resuscitate me
Or
>I knew someone who drowned, it was bad
It's weird that you're comparing what that anon is talking about to something happening in literally where afghanistan when it's a very close and touchy subject to you.

>>23305141
This is a writing board, you can think of something better than I've got a boner can't you?

>The bartender leaned forward, her full breasts threatening to erupt from the low cut shirt and I could not help staring and I could not help what came next. Blood left my heart and spilled into my cock. A sleepy twitch against my thigh and then another before it rose from its slumber, growing inch by inch, a thickening rod forcing my thin briefs away only to be trapped against the thick denim of my jeans.

>>23305204
My boners aren't literary.

>>23305208
it is the only way to become a better writer. Record how you felt during your last shit, explain your morning routine in detail. Describe your first and most recent boner and what presceded it.

brb gonna go do some coke and hope I don't die. wish me luck

>>23305161
its crossed my mind. I just try not to smile.

>>23305115
I don’t have schizophrenia and I’m not the schizo

>>23305208
read Pynchon

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Would you guys describe Bret Easton Ellis's books as stream of consciousness? Primarily Less than Zero and American Psycho. If not, what type of prose (?) Is it?

>inb4 babys first novel etc etc

Accidentally swallowed a little bit of poop.

>>23305235
Im not reading that fag

>>23305229
That's good because smiles are threatening. I read that in an article about chimpanzees.

>>23305243
Why not? You are missing out. His books are pretty funny in an unintentional way and contain sporadic snippets worthy of discussion. The first line of Less than Zero is excellent, and has not been outdone.

>>23305244
but I'm a human being, dammit!

>>23305259
I dont like him as a person. I did read American Psycho. I don't read authors who post on twitter. He's a hack, and a fag.

Why are directors so much more consistent than musicians in terms of quality? I feel like if I enjoy one of a director's movies then the chance of me enjoying another one is pretty high but if I enjoy one of a musician's albums or even one of their songs the chances of me enjoying another one aren't as high.

>>23305322
because music takes less talent and is often a flash in the pan made by kids

>>23305332
I'm not even talking about modern music, I mostly listen to old music despite being young myself. Even a group like The Beatles have albums of varying quality.

>>23305337
the Beatles wrote a lot of there shit at age 20 in like 30 minutes. my point stands.

young couples success reminds me of my failure

>>23303209
How boring is it? I signed up to a community college for it but am nervous.
I feel like it's one of those subjects that sounds like it would be cool, but is actually tedious and frustrating
The certificate I'm taking is only at most a year, like 6 classes
I'm just afraid I'm not smart enough for it

i can feel my brain crystalizing, i am increasingly incapable and disinterested in learning new things, all that's left is to slowly quietly decline

>>23305343
>my point stands.
I guess it does.

I would never move to America right now but I think that if I ever get super rich, that's where I'm retiring, it seems like the perfect playground for rich people.

>>23305389
Use it or lose it, sister.

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Often when I am typing at the computer, whether it be posts on 4chan, messages on discord to friends, personal writings in a Word document, whatever, I do so standing up, and when I find myself stuck at some point, unable to think of the proper word or phrasing or concept or a seamless elucidation of my thoughts, I will essentially do a 360 or full circle turn, with one slight step at the halfway mark (180!), and almost without fail either with that step or sometime between then and my having completed the entire turn to once again face my computer and the stultified text I am typing, voila! bam! yahtzee! I will have found the perfect solution, or rather it will have found me. Try it sometime!

I feel like Jeb Bush

>>23304965
Sexoooooooooooo
Booba

>>23305548
lol

I think Graham Hancock is a retard most of the time but I'm listening to his debate on JRE and he's kinda cooking with the straight-cut stones off the coast of Japan thing.

I went through a period when I was like 19 where I was rlly depressed and basically couldn’t rlly function for like 6 months but it wasn’t as bad as it is now anyway it was so hard to claw my way out of that hole it took me like a year and a half to get better and it was really difficult and I needed a lot of help but then i got better and was finally happy for a bit and i was doing rlly well in school and everything and I got to have two years of being normal and I was mostly happy but the first time I got rlly depressed it wasn’t even for any particular reason like there was no one specific thing that I was depressed about it was just various stressful situational factors that were making me unhappy I guess but they were all fixable with pretty obvious solutions and there was no single acute source of pain that I could pinpoint and even though I was sad and tired back then I never felt anything even approaching the intensity of the bad feeling now and the thing that’s causing me so much pain now is never going to be fixed no matter how hard I try it is unfixable and the bad feeling is never going to go away I’ve had the bad feeling for so long and I can’t live with the bad feeling forever and even though I was sad when I was 19 I never did anything really wrong back then and I was always mostly a good person I think? everyone would always tell me I was a good person because I was caring for my elderly grandparents full time which was like rlly stressful and was part of why I was so depressed but everyone said that I was doing a good job and was rlly patient and people were mostly proud of me I think? but the bad feeling now has like warped me into a bad person like an actually evil and disturbed person and I don’t understand how I became the monster because I never intended to hurt anyone or do anything bad but now I’m dirty forever I can never be clean again and I hate who I’ve become I never used to be like this I never used to hurt anyone ever I always wanted to help people and do the right thing and I usually always told the truth the only time I ever lied was occasionally if I was rlly anxious about someone being mad at me and it was never a lie that would hurt anyone at all back then and I always felt bad about it and even though I was sad I was never crazy or anything?? and now every one is disappointed in me and feels bad for me and he hates me forever and I have to think about that forever I’m incapable of having any feelings other than the bad feeling or caring about anything because nothing matters so I can’t fix things and get better like I did before because it’s too hard and I’m not strong enough and the bad feeling is here forever and I’m so tired of living with it because it hurts all the time and there’s no solution and I can’t keep trying anymore I just don’t even want to live anymore because I can’t live like this

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>>23305607

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When I was a child an Olmec head appeared in my dream, a vivid one I still remember today. He said he's my patron and will grant me great power. Still waiting for that.

Hey, I'm Glen Gubis, I'm majoring in the science of the smegma of small shmeat swangin' animals.

had a pretty horrible date and now I have chest pains and discomfort, weird

>>23305200
>And the first speaker can either reply with
>>Yeah I drowned as a kid and they had to resuscitate me
>Or
>>I knew someone who drowned, it was bad
No? Drowning is pretty matter of fact bad. That's common sense. You can smell shit and know it tastes like shit even though you've never tasted shit, just because you know the smell of it. You don't need to be an authority on the taste of shit or a shit taster to say shit tastes like shit. You don't need firsthand experience or to be an authority on a subject to talk about something. I mean that's pretty obvious that Anon is not an expert on social dynamics, but that doesn't mean that he's gotta be wrong and that his opinion is retarded. Especially since science has already backed up the fact that people are more happy overall marrying their first partner. Learn rhetorics or gtfo

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>>23305702
Yeah, that's called PDDS (Post Date Death Syndrome) The brain recognises that you just had a terrible date and that you're ngmi so it kills you so that you never have to go through that again. Should've gone to the pharmacy to get a box of these beforehand.

>>23305725
is this for real?

>>23305740
Yeah, I had a friend who died from it in high school, miss him all the time.

Just realized that most people are dumb. As a kid I would struggle with understanding math or some other subjects at school but I noticed that other kids seemed to just get everything instantly and they would say they understood it so I felt really dumb. I would strike up conversations with them after class and ask them to explain stuff to me and realized the they had no idea what they were talking about they were literally memorizing a combination of words in a specific sequence and gluing them together to make it sounds like a sensible sentence but once I asked them to actually go deeper and explain what they meant they had no clue. They were satisfied with remembering a very surface level information and they just didn't care about anything else. I realized that most people are just like this, they're just stupid or they're optimizing for survival rather than the truth so obviously their parameters are different and they just don't care about understanding things. You can easily spot this in people who like to talk politics it's like a broken computer program that's regurgitating random words.

I noticed the birds here who recently built a nest and are pecking in my yard are more passive than usual. They refuse to fly but instead walk away when you or a car gets close.

>>23305707
Then why do you suggest that "drowning must suck" implying uncertainty? As opposed to a definitive "drowning sucks"?
Are you an ESL or a low IQ plebian?

Kept an eye on a used book that cost €9. Checked the listing this morning, still €9. An hour later, when I was about to do my purchase, the price was updated to €100.

Damn! I always suspected that these resellers use engagement to hike up prices, so I try to mask my interests, but this one time I give a book a few clicks over the course of a week and the price explodes....

>>23305645
it’s not my fault that you can’t even read and have zero attention span??? what is wrong with you

>>23305885
If you think that no one is gonna buy it for that much then make a fake account and ask to buy it for a low price and then ask to buy it for a slightly higher price with your main account, play them like a fiddle.

>>23305897
It's one of these professional resellers that sells millions of books. The prices are all algorithmically determined and I must have caused the algorithm to sperg out. I'm going to wait a few weeks and hopefully it goes back to €9.

>>23305939
Best of luck. What book is it?

>>23305607
Things can always be salvaged and fixed and improved, anon. Perhaps at absolute worst they can always be reset, as in finding a new community of people and life surroundings.

>>23305799
They just learnt you're not driving that fast or going to hurt them. Birds are really smart and they'll adapt to new traffic patterns in their locality better than most humans. The local crows and rooks used scavenge from a busy street nearby, usually on the footpath, in front of shops where customers might drop food most often, and waited for traffic to clear before picking up anything from the road. But they've recently put in new traffic calming measures and the crows ans rooks now just walk onto the road when traffic is stalled like
>You're not going anywhere for four minutes, car monster, i'm going to pick up these crumbs and cigarette butts i can see under here, and maybe check out what your underbelly looks like

>>23305725
kek

>>23302177
Is it just me, or is it that the criticism a story receives greatly depends on the critic's awareness and familiarity with the author?

I've been in two workshops. For the first one, I started off with a super experimental piece. It got generally negative reviews, with many folks claiming that the "quirks" of the piece were unneeded and that and that, as if they were comparing it to some "ideal" contemporary form of the short story. Only a few folks actually seemed to share advice in good faith, from the perspective of whether piece accomplished what it set out to accomplish.

In the second workshop, which took place years later, with a completely different set of people, I was working on more conventional sorts of stories, and the criticism was mostly fair and they grew to understand my tastes as a writer. For the final submission of the program, as I had a hand injury and couldn't type, I sent in the exact same story I mentioned above. No updates, literally the same exact pdf. I was expecting a similar reaction as the previous workshop, especially given I hadn't done anything to the piece. However, the feedback this time around was very constructive. Sure, some folks didn't like it much, but their feedback all seemed in good faith. A common thing I heard was "Knowing your writing... it made sense it didn't this or this or that". It was as if their familiarity with my tastes and existing work, they were way more willing to deal with this experimental work on its own terms rather than dismiss it.

Isn't that a bit wierd in a sense. Shouldn't feedback solely be based on the piece of fiction itself, on whether it achieved the goals it set out for himself, and not based on one's familiarity with the writer or whatever?

>>23305964
Familiarity with the writer is just another set of contextual clues to determine what those particular 'goals' of the text might be is all. You might think 'why couldn't they just determine that from the text itself' but sometimes that requires a deeper investigation than one might employ in such a situation, y'know?

>>23305964
>Shouldn't feedback solely be based on the piece of fiction itself, on whether it achieved the goals it set out for himself, and not based on one's familiarity with the writer or whatever?
Ideally every piece of art should be judged independently of the artist's status, but this isn't an ideal world where I have infinite time or energy to deal with important works.
There are important questions to be asked before I engage with an experimental work to judge whether or not I'm wasting my time. 1 does the artist have the right to experiment? (have they mastered non-experimental forms of art to justify their own experimentation?) and 2 does this artist love and respect his field or is the 'experimentation' a result of their inability to cohere to any of the rules and inability to compete in their field?
Using Rupi Kaur as an example, they have not mastered poetry and have no right to experiment with poetry in the manner they have done. What they created turned out to be slop.

>>23302275
kek happens to most of us

>>23305973
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

I suppose my only issue is how willing many people, at least those in my first workshop, were willing to carelessly rip apart a story just because they were unfamiliar and/or unwilling to constructively engage with a "different" structure or written register. In the absence of a deeper prior understanding of the author, his works, and his objectives, I'd at the very least expect criticism to be in good faith.

>>23305984
Nta but you shouldn't assume bad faith. There isn't an objective right opinion on any work, and something you would shred is keeping other people awake writing fanfiction sequels. This isn't to say bad writer's workshops don't exist, but all opinions, good and bad, of your work are going to be spun from bias. That one group validates your personal bias and the other can't see the point of it is good feedback in general, because it tells you a substantial amount of people are going to drop you and why, and what concessions other people have to choose to make, or which biases they have to like it.

>>23306005
I see what you're saying and I do agree with it.

I acutely understand that not every reader will enjoy my work. I do understand some of my stories are shit. That's absolutely fine and part of the whole ordeal. But you can tell when some folks are just blindly hating and/or not giving you a fair shot. By "fair shot" I don't mean a positive response. They can give it a fair shake and still say it doesn't work and they don't like it. I just mean they took some effort to look into the work, attempted to understand it's goals, and then share feedback on whether it worked or not and on potential ways it could move towards its objectives.

I suppose my only point is that, in a creative writing workshop of all places, where we are all new writers that are growing and experimenting and developing our own voices, the base expectation should be good-faith criticism. I wouldn't say I greatly enjoyed reading the other folks work, but I tried to see what they were doing and gave them feedback on potential ways they could approach going forward with the story. I don't understand why any developing writer would willingly join a writers workshop to poorly/negatively engage with a other writers and stories. It feels like a waste of everyone's time.

Do I read the goosebumps books from the start or do I read the one I have on my shelf already?

Some of my favourite memories are walking home from the cinema with my brother late at night and talking about the movie that we just watched, wish I could do that more.

What is one hobby or lifestyle you really want but can’t afford?

New thread >>23306229

>>23304466
people dont think youre a thug xd.. what a fucking fantasy man. sounds like a pushover

>>23305380
I couldn't see a certificate being too bad, but once we moved past pure programming into more theoretical shit my eyes started to glaze over. Not horribly difficult but if you don't love it you're not going to have fun