"Shrimp Jesus" editionPrevious: >>23769091/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQRESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvCPlease limit excerpts to one post.Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.Simple guides on writing:>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFkThread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eX7_a2KcqKE
>>23782887AI slop faggot
Amen
>>23782887delete this
>>23782913You're missing the subtext here anon. Instead of wine and bread Jesus' flesh and blood could have been made out of shrimps. The symbolic halo also implies that God's grace manifests in the form of shrimps and that he himself could have been a shrimp; Jesus could himself be a shrimp in God's own image. There could be entire gospels revising Christian canon towards a furtherance of our understand of God and his shrimple plans. Why can't you see the endlessly delicious possibilities, dismissively phrased as "AI slop", that Shrimp God has in store for us in his eternal "all you can eat" sea food buffet?
>>23782913>>23782924at least OP has a subject
So I'm learning how to draw to make a VN, would it be feasible to learn how to compose as well or should I just commission a musician for that? I've got writing and programming down, but I'm not sure about composing. But if I do compose I'll get to pull a Hideo Kojime and have the credits credit me exclusively for everything
>>23783115You can start with a MIDI editor. I had to learn basic music theory in order to understand my MIDI editor. The "Music Theory for Dummies" book was enough for me.
>>23783115Learn to write first
>>23782887Is realistic dialogue ever worth it? I like to write dialogue as realistically as possible and include all the "like"s "um" "just" "gonna" "tryna" that people use when they talk. However, I feel like this is annoying for a reader. In verbal conversation it is easy to get the message from people no matter how they speak, but in writing it is more difficult.Any thoughts on realistic dialogue? Use it? Avoid it? Good ways to do it? Bad ways to do it? Authors who do it well (post excerpt or direct me to it pls)
>>23783266Never ever
Reading through a story right now to pass time. I see many works have the central characters learn whatever moral the author is trying to teach over the course of the story. This is rarely ever engaging. It just means you'll have an annoying main character doing stupid things for the first two thirds of the story, only to have something obvious beaten into him by circumstance, often resulting in someone else dying, and then he turns into Neo for the rest of the story because he accepted some singular lesson on humility or something equally vapid. In cases where it's not something so simple, it has the feel of someone trying to win an argument he had a month ago using dolls as stand-ins for the people he disagreed with, throwing them about whenever they assert themselves.>>23783266Not worth. Adds nothing, and will often annoy readers.
>>23783266I've seen it work a few times, but only works for setting pieces like Tobacco Road
>>23783283>>23783325>>23783352Thank you all. And what about action verbs attached to introduce dialogue? Is it always necessary for every exchange? I find the "said," 'whispered' 'answered' to make dialogue so staccato.i've seen authors go with and without
>>23783266>I feel like this is annoying for a reader. yes. dialogue is not a transcript. every word should count. it's okay though occasionally to throw something in if it serve some purpose, like a required pause or something. trust your gut. if you read back, and it's annoying, then it's annoying. in general dialogue is not supposed to be "realistic" so if you are trying to go that route, you are going the wrong way.
I'm starting to think ChatGPT doesn't know how to give good writing advice...
>>23783357Use such tags only when necessary. The best dialogue doesn't require it. It's clear who's speaking and the words speak for themselves.
>>23783325>Reading through a story right now to pass time.this anecdote fucking sucks. WHERE are you reading these?
>>23783367>>23783325niggers, this isn't the wwoym thread (i had to double check). context, please
>>23783357If you can communicate who's saying what without using them, drop them. >"Lovely weather we're having today," Michael shouted to Sarah>"Oh, I wouldn't say so.">"And why not?">"Were you awake before 9? It was awful out."
>>23783266Avoid it at all costs. It's annoying af and a hassle to read. Slows the whole thing down. The most I do is start sentences with "Well," but that's the limit.
>Character A walks in to find Character B dead>end chapter>next chapter starts with Character C reading at home when A shows up, distraughtI want to have a gap between the chapters to hook the reader and make them curious about what happened before revealing it immediately through C and A's dialogue. Only problem is I have no other characters I can switch POV to for a decent amount of time in order to stall. Not sure wat do.
>>23783392i don't understand your comment.is it just me? i mean i could decipher it in a reread, but i out of principal, i won't.
principle, FUCK
Seems like A.I. is going to write a story better than anything I can generate.
>>23783463It has the upper hand of having infinite wisdom. Humans cannot hope to compete.
>>23783266Catcher in the Rye basically does this doesn’t it?
>>23783463if you are the one carefully steering it around, chatgpt is essentially editing, not writing. if you're just talking prose? sure, maybe.i only make the distinction because it is very clearly worse at writing if i'm not giving it very specific instructions.
its over.
>>23783392Maybe extend Character C's scene so that it's a while before A shows up.
>Have to write a thousand more words to meet my daily quota>Already burnt out after five hundredIt looks like so little on the page but it feels like so much when you're writing it.
Helieus was the son of Arcturun, a great hunter. He had met Helieus' mother, Tasria, as a young man after having won a hunting contest, a common event amongst the Falkrein. Most popular men at that age would not have settled down with one woman immediately, but Arcturun was a man with a big heart, and he could see something special in Tasria's eyes. They would spend long hours in the woods together. Arcturun would try to find rare flowers to give to her as a gift and in turn, she would introduce him to the most abundant wild crops that only she knew about, for she had a great passion for plants. The other women would get jealous of her and could never understand why a man of such power and status would devote himself purely to the first woman that he had ever known. Their love blossomed and they eventually got married in the tradition of the Falkrein; wading hip-deep in the river, beneath a great Willow, in full sight of their tribe and the very Creator himself.
>>23783508Who is that? And if you're not him, how did you get access to his KDP page?
>>23783602you tube man that teaches how to sell books on kdp. lots of coloring books and hand writing books. Taking advantage of the "home schooling" meme
>>23783246Pfft I know how to write decently enough. VN level, at any rate.
>>23783587Your prose is very straightforward and it achieves its goal. Since it is simple, I would focus more on your adjective choice to avoid insipidity, but that's just me. >son of Arcturun, a great hunterI think "the great hunter" or even "The Great Hunter." The latter would add lore. >first woman that he had ever known.whom, or at least who
>>23783266write in verse faggot
Thoughts on cryptic dreams as a plot tool?
>>23783771overdone. but like most things, it's all in the execution.
>>23782887My linktree is BornUnderaBlackSunYes, I may only have one short story as of now. Howeverbeit, big things are coming.
>stop writing for a year>prose, structure, ideas, flow, tone, characters are all off>Practice>still can't get it rightWhat do?
What are some desperate things a teenage boy whose girlfriend broke up with him over him not being mature enough might do to try and prove his maturity?
>>23783883Give up writing, no one reads books anymore because smartphones are more engaging and require less brain activity.Zoomers don't want to read because it's too complicated and their fried brain can't stand doing something for more than 30 seconds, literature is dead.
>>23783357I hate it personally. Sometimes it's needed, but if you can go without it you really should.
>>23783266There's a big difference between informal ways of saying things like "gonna" and "tryna", and filler words such as "like" "um" "just". One is showing a character with a different way of speaking(if most of your characters talk like that, then the one saying "going to" "trying to" is the outlier), while the other can be used sparingly to imply hesitation or nervousness. It's common to varying degrees in many books and can make dialogue more natural. Just don't overdo it.
>>23783895Drugs
>>23783735Thank you, friend. I will take your advice into consideration and post more excerpts later on. I try to keep my prose as simple as possible because I tend to ramble endlessly when I don't reign myself in. I'll allow myself to get more creative with the adjectives, though. >The Great HunterThere are many great hunters in Falkrein society so I think "the great hunter" would work better, since it indicates a more localized fame as opposed to being an immortal legend. That right is reserved for Helieus.>whom, or at least whoThanks, I'll try to improve my grammar in the future. There is still a long way to go.
>>23784000>he writes to be read by othersngmi
How do i cope with wanting to write while being a genuine honest to God midwit whose only creative sparks are "a thing i've read but slightly different and also about me"?
>>23784499Write from your heart and your brain will follow.
