Whatcha reading?

>>41713290
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/430327/flurrys-tenti

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There's some weird fetish stuff on the boorus under the FNaF tag. Also except this post to have more typos than usual.
>/FSSBC/
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/555300/pinkies-fun-palace-a-mlp-x-fnaf-story
That was someone's first story, so if anything we should be annoyed at the mods for being so lax nowadays. Anyway. Not a particularly good fic (in fact probably just a bad one) for a variety of reasons, but those reasons are good fuel for this post at least. First, the writing. Decently populated by mistakes, but its main flaws are probably in how it handles dialogue. Not only are the paragraphs consistently shared across different speakers, at one point even three at once, but the punctuation is just wrong. Aside from that, though, descriptions are, especially at the start, annoyingly mundane and pointless. It feels very dry and mechanical in places, just needlessly going through the motions. Oh, and coloured text. Technically faithful to the source material, but really poorly done and overused.
The plot itself doesn't fare much better. There's no real reason for Grape to stick around. One of the best things FNaF ever did was retroactively justify the protagonist doing so, but here it's pure nonsense. As is the way mares are introduced gradually throughout the nights, or how they ramp up in aggression. Ironically, the stuff described here would work well as a FNaF fangame, but as a piece of fiction it just seems incredibly silly. I don't particularly like how OOC Pinkie is, though at least the story acknowledges it. And her body is just left there at the end? What?! Spooky was the only thing I could argue was a highlight, he's at least silly and entertaining when he's around. Real missed opportunity to not have Grape document his findings in any way though, I think the writer just outright forgot about the notebook or even what the character started out as. Also Twilight jobbing like that was so very stupid.
As a FNaF crossover, this has problems too. Mainly, I really don't particularly buy this William. Is the AU tag meant to apply to the FNaF side of the story too? That would be stupid. But why does he make the literal same mistake he originally made, both freeing the ghosts and getting in the suit? It feels like a pointless riff on the movie climax, except there it was a first time at least. And why is he killing in the first place? We get no reason. He's supposed to be either a pedo or a mad scientist depending on when in the franchise you take him but here he kills grown mares and never experiments on remnant and then just does nothing for a year. And the way his dialogue is written is so annoying. I don't think the author has a good grasp on him at all, which is odd with how little there is to grasp in the first place.
Next week we're reading:
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/163482/the-heart-of-an-author
Up to and including chapter 13, "TIPS - Knocks' Decalogue".
You could decide what we'll read after, too:
>https://ponepaste.org/8813

>>41713324
>>41713330
True waifuchafs we're schizos and almost non-existent. Some boomer with a wife and two kids said so. It's over...

I need a good clown name
Like a name for a legendary clown

>>41713345
I'm not a boomer but my back hurts and I have a wife. You're still schizos.

>>41713284
It wasn't untill i started writing that i realized how boring non-antagonists male characters are in mlp.
sure, the villians get cool designs (exclusivly cool tho, you can't be evil, a guy and something besides "dark and evil monster")plus nice and fun personalities(let's pretend im not liying here) but everyone else is kinda there, i know im retarded, but is basically every guy in the show just boring?
How do you write stalions/non evil male characters?

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>>41713345
I don't know why you (You)'d me in addition to him, but I wish you all the best and may your dedication never waver if that's what you want. Hopefully you're still here in ten years so I can call you out on your shit taste.

>>41713351
Find a way to horsepunnify Yorick.

>>41713351
Pagliaccio

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2+2+2+2+2th for best 2uo!
Enjoy this conveniently packaged Tuna: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/348665/tarry-not

>>41713364
Give them socks.

>>41713367
Infinite Jest.

>>41713375
Excellent Fancy. Either or.

>>41713375
Yeah, that works. I was thinking something that sounds like "laugh at that", possibly with Hat being the last name so you could flavour him as an Alice reference too, but yours is better.

>>41713364
>How do you write stalions/non evil male characters?
You largely don't. Or you make your own OCs.
There are some example of pretty good fics taking canon characters and writing them well by extrapolating from canon in a believable way (A Ballad of Eeyup and Nope), but they're extremely rare.

>>41713351
>a legendary clown
Something something Balatro.

>>41713389
>Get the fuck out of here, nigger
No, I'm enjoying myself and I enjoy writing horsewords.

>>41713389
>stop licking his ass
Anon, I literally started with "I would disagree here.", in defense of the waifufags. Whether he does or doesn't belong, you can engage with his opinions. You are right that he's the biggest normalfag this thread has seen for months, but that makes his opinions fresh, too.
>>ponkfag
I'm not. It's just late and JJ did a lot of nice, sleepy poners.

>41713389
What a sad and pathetic individual.

>>41713401
>It's just late
At this point it's almost early. And your waifu is worst pony.

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>>41713413
Saying "no u" here doesn't quite work the way I'd want it to.

>>41713351
Equimorto.

>>41713368
Pagliacci already exists in MLP as Pinkie's idol.

>>41713424
What did I do this time?

>>41713400
You should take care of your family instead. Stop wasting your time, you'll never love this show on the level we do.
>>41713402
What a normal and pleasant individual. Looks like you don't belong here because there's a lot of "sad and pathetic" people like me here, so can you crawl back to your safe dicksword server?

>>41713422
At least she's not used goods.

>>41713437
>the thread I just crawled into must become my personal circlejerk
Post about fics or fuck off.

>>41713437
>you'll never love this show on the level we do.
No, but I'll still enjoy myself.

>>41713440
Sure, post your top 5 HiE fics.
>>41713448
You can do that without posting here.

>>41713323
I have never played a FNaF game. I've never seen gameplays, read fanfics about it, or anything like that. I think I may have watched one (1) Game Theory video about it back in the day, but that's it. All I know about it is that another fanfic had a spoof of it in one chapter where the Sirens have Fluttershy play videogames and one of them was FNaF.
All of that is to say that I know jackshit about the lore of FNaF. To me they were just killer robots. That's the mindset I had when I started reading.
I think I was happier when I didn't know about FNaF lore.
I think the fanfic is fine. But only barely so. There's so much that just plain doesn't work. And I'm not talking about the coloured text, but that too.
As a crossover, I think it does a serviceable job of presenting the ideas in FNaF, but as a story, it's all over the place.
The plot, at least, has more holes than plot. Where did Anton come from? How did he acquire so much power over Pinkie? Did none of the girls notice how unlike herself she was? How were these things built? How did he kill Twilight so easily? How did they dispose of the bodies so efficiently that nopony found anything? How come purp wasn't interested in killing more ponies?
I'm sure I could point out more stuff, but that's just what I remember from having read it some days ago.
I think the main thing that bothers me is that Grape's mission was kind of pointless since we already know someone's controlling Pinkie and killed the other girls. The only real mystery is who this guy was. I was actually thinking Sombra. But no, it's just some guy from the games, I guess.
Eh... Can't say this story is any good. Maybe if you're an underage fan of FNaF and FiM, you could get some enjoyment out of it.
>reading
Ah. Great timing. I just wanted to enter a coma for the rest of the year.
>voting
Pipsqueak's Day Off, for something different.

>>41713457
>spoiler
Heh I see what you're doing there

>>41713457
Pirene
Isekai
BHoE
BoAPW
Arcadia

>>41713433
You thought reading Heart of an Author would be a good idea.

>>41713457
>You can do that without posting here.
I can also do it by posting here and writing horse fanfiction, both of which I am doing right now.

>>41713501
Post what you wrote.

>>41713503
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/568453/something-on-your-back

>>41713510
>Joined 31st Jul, 2024
Are you really that new? I can't fathom how you even found yourself here in 2024, you also have a wife and kids... It doesn't make any sense.

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>>41713533
I didn't say I have kids, just a wife. She's the one that introduced me to it. She's my muse.

>>41713536
Your life is far too wholesome for these threads.

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>>41713544
I choose to be the change I want to see in /fimfiction/.

>>41713536
>I am in a relationship now, so some of my usual free time is being taken up by my boyfriend (not in a bad way whatsoever). He's very sweet and has no problems with my being a brony (he is not one and does not intend on becoming one--valid)
>(he is not one and does not intend on becoming one--valid)
What's with the sudden change of heart?

>>41713550
I'm not the Unseen Unheard's author's husband. I wish her well but wish she would update that god damn fic.

>>41713533
He's not me. I'm the one who has kids. Like I said earlier, there's more than one married anon in this thread.

>>41713457
You do know this thread has written award-winning HiE before, right?

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/566494/the-anoniad

>tfw you just got new cover art
It feels good.

>>41713659
How

>>41713667
I paid for it. Would you like to see it?

>>41713676
Sure

>>41713680
>inb4 you realize who you're talking to

>>41713680
Here's the story, and a lower quality of the cover art in a spoiler:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/525912/almost-alone-on-the-moon

I'll post the image that inspired the story next.

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>>41713680
>>41713704
I took this sad as hell image and thought about how to give it a happier ending. If she didn't give birth to her child, she could keep it alive on the moon, for one thousand years.

>>41713704
>file deleted
kek

Do you respect and keep in mind that ponies are canonically 3 feet tall when writing?

>>41710585
>consensus
There is none. Go wild with your headcanon for your "magic is dead" post-apocalypse fic. Magic origin lore is very rare in fics and almost always in a mythological context anyway so it might not even be true in the fic itself.

>>41710888
Haven't read either, so the other anons will have to verify if they're good.
>a solid Twi focused longfic
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/39849/rites-of-ascension (It has glacial pacing, however, and now the updates are becoming glacial as well due to the author dealing with crippling carpel tunnel.)
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/1886/the-immortal-game (Edgy, but has good action.)
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/190641/withdrawal (Ending stumbles a bit and it's light on the action, but still good.)

>>41711438
Clear and Present Danger. Not as good as Cardinal of the Kremlin so far. I'd much rather have Cold War espionage than drug war glowie ops.

On the pone side, I checked out the ending to that corn maze horror fic and it has the standard ambiguous ending all multichapter horror fics have. Maybe it's my autism, but it's really annoying me how horror fics just can't be fully logical and make sense but have to have a bunch of unexplained supernatural bullshit in them to justify the horror tag. Really sours me to the whole genre.

>>41712164
>what irks you about HIE stuff
The concept. The genre's essentially self insert wish fulfillment. Even most AiE runs into it. People somehow decided putting their OC pony into the fic is cringe, but literally putting themselves in it is perfectly fine.

The only time it works is when there's an actual plot that requires a human for it to happen. Think Pirene or Article 2. The entire first contact subgenre is gold HiE (COPE aside). If you can just swap out the human for a pony and it doesn't fundamentally change the story, there's no reason for it being HiE to begin with.

>>41713704
thought she had a nutsack in the thumbnail, im honestly kinda surprised bra'd crotchtits aren't a problem

>>41714011
Just look at this cover art:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/432795/the-magic-of-number-80085
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/539619/master-obsidians-domination

There are E-rated incest stories on Fimfiction. The key is to avoid being an outlier.

>>41713290
RunicKino
Seethe, trannythread
>>41713205
Yeah this. I'm convinced this general isn't just full of gayfaggots, but newfags too.
If the date January 29th and especially February 16th says nothing to you, for example, you don't belong

>>41713928
No, because it's hard to write with a boner.

>>41714207
No it isn't.

>>41714217
Thanks for outing yourself as having a tiny dick.

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>>41714226
Projection.

>>41714108
>RunicKino
Why? I'm honestly asking, because what I've read of him has consistently been among the worst HiEs I read. Are you not bothered by the garbage writing? The absolute lack of any character depth? The mediocre prose?
>this general
Anon, that applies to all of /mlp/.

>>41714227
>his boner isn't large enough to compromise blood flow to the rest of his body

>>41714108
It's a peculiar kind of retardation to be directly responsible for the death of your history and feel proud of it.

>>41714234
I knew we had futaposters but I didn't know we had futa posters.

every time i end up feeling good about something i wrote i always end up thinking its shit upon rereading it the next day. Is this normal?

>>41714253
Yes. When writing, I tend to go from "I'm a genius!" and "What is this garbage?!" at least twice for any given portion of text.

>>41714319
That is anthro.

>>41714319
This is hot.

>>41714416
>anthro futa extreme abuse
Of fucking course you'd like that.
I think it's just about the most disgusting "pony" pic posted in this thread in months.

>>41714422
I wish Trixie would do that to me.

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>>41714422
It's not "abuse" if it happens to poochie.

>>41714444
>just copy pasted a saw from google images

>>41714448
It's /ironically/ bad. We're a post-cringe society, don'cha know.

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The FSSSSBC crossover episode came early,
>/FSBC/

Not unlike our main hero.
My first thought is that I should've read this yesterday, because speed-writing this post 30 minutes before club time is a disservice to it and will make this post a lot worse. My second thought is that Twianon will surely not like this at all, for several reasons.

I think it's a good story. I'm really not sure if it's a good fic, but the underlying story here is fine. The characters are written in this slightly exaggerated but desperately relatable way, and that works. No doubt partially because of Shining Chad, who's in his most-rehearsed straight guy mode. And yes, the trauma made him a little fucked up, but since we sit in his head all the time, it's very easy to understand and empathize with him, even when he snaps or does things the audience knows will end up poorly. The rest of the cast is... colorful. I am not badmouthing Cadance, because she's in just as bad a state as Shiny; we just don't get to see her perspective. Mrs. Swallow is a professional. I've never been to a shrink of any kind, but I imagine that's how they should sound. I liked the guards ponies and Luna, despite Shining's (or the author's, we'll see) weird fear of her that shows in the writing. But the maids are something else. Like, yeah, firing them was too much, but dear Celestia are they horrible, doubly so knowing that they *know*. Holy shit.
As for the story here, well, it's mostly about following Shining Armor as he tries to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it. I enjoyed reading this fic so far and haven't had a reason to stop or pause it, really. It flows smoothly, and the more I read various stories, the more I realize that if you have good writing to back it up, you can make pretty much any topic entertaining to read. There are some typos—and I mean real typos, like extra spaces, missing letters, or quote marks—but the writing is pretty strong otherwise. Sometimes it tries to go a little too hard, but I prefer that to boring prose.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that the fic is very funny in some spots. It doesn't get to do that often since it's very much a srs bzns, but the humor—when it shows up—is good.

(1/2)

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>>41714466
(2/2)
But the big issue here is that it's not focusing on being a ponyfic at all. I'm not even talking about the rare fails, such as referencing Hiroshima or dropping a random "hand" or "people", but more that the whole topic of the fic is just kind of very mundane. Maybe that's the wrong word, but anyone reading this probably knows what I mean. To the fic's credit, it incorporates the elements of the setting when necessary, be it Luna's dreamwalking or the whole Prince[ss]hood and the Guard business. The Equestria it's set in is not really bad. And yet I can't shake off the feeling that it's not really using the ponyness of the setting. Maybe it's the non-magical plot? I wish I had some time to think it through.
And then there's the fact that this is partially a clopfic. Well, it's not, not really. Or is it? It's weird since at least 90% of it is not meant to be porn, and most of the explicit scenes are interrupted in some way that marks them as not porn, but the fic also goes full-smut with its writing in some of them. It's almost like an on-off switch that turns the fic's prose from regular story to the decorated, slow, very graphic writing of clopfics. The Chrysalis dreams are totally clopfic scenes, and I can't see how you could argue otherwise. I'll leave subjective impressions out of this post. At the same time, there's not enough of them to even entertain the notion that this was written with the porn in mind; it clearly wasn't.
Aaand I went over the allotted time and post space. That's what I get for doing it so last minute. A lot more to say, not enough time for it all.

Next week we're reading—
Actually, what do we do now, FSBC? As I said last week when some criticism against the fic was raised, if no one wants to read it, we can just shelve it and move on. I'll read anything, and while I liked the fic and would like to finish it, I won't cry over skipping it, assuming this is an exception and not a precedent we're setting.

>>41714108
You're too much of a newfag to know this, but last month, the thread tried to read Runic's self-described "best showing." You ought to read the discussion, starting with the anchor post at https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/41643407/#q41645240 and continuing with >>41645394, >>41645400, >>41645494, >>41645702, >>41646067, >>41647007, and the discussion posts in between.

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>>41714444
That is completely the wrong type of saw for this task. Too many teeth per inch, and it's a hand saw so it's going to take forever.

Any fics about being brutally raped and abused by Trixie?

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>>41714466
OH!SCANDAL!OH!SCANDAL!OH!SCANDAL

Gosh, I really don't jell with present tense, outside of first person.
So. There's a lot of little bits at the center of this fic. Shining's various feelings, (out-of-placeness with his new position as prince, emasculation, self-disgust, general feelings of lost control, etc.) Cadance's fear from the caves (and not complete adjustment to being an alicorn), heck, even the maids have something interesting with their belief that Shining very much does not deserve to be with the mare they've been employed by for a long time. In theory it absolutely earns the [Drama] tag. One of my issues though, is that everything feels a little telly. I think this mostly because of how often we get into Shining's internal thoughts, or at least with how his thoughts are handled. As such, it never takes too long to get a read on what his current deal is. Which is alright, but imo [Drama] works best when presented in a way that lets you work out some things on your own and read between the lines. CiAM doesn't really leave you much room to do that, honestly. That isn't my main gripe with the writing, though.
The main thing working against the story, I feel, is the humor/levity. It's really bad. This is a story about Shining struggling with so much shit mentally. These mental struggles stem from his rape. Why, then, would you deem it wise to add so much comedy to this type of story? Hell, why so much sexual comedy? Take the first scene, with the introduction of the maids. I get it. He has to sit through these chicks making light of their sexual activity and Cadance just thinks it's simple ribbing. But you could have done this scene in so many better ways. It wasn't funny and it went on for too damn long. Again, the scene when he has the letter from the clinic delivered. It went on for too long when you could've conveyed the intent in the scene in a briefer and equally effective way. But no, no, gotta make sure we know Shining definitely doesn't wanna have this info slip. Also the name of the clinic, seriously? Really?
The [Drama] aspect of this fic has so much legit serious stuff that I completely understand why a touch of levity here and there would be wise. But this pushes too far into the opposite direction and I just... can't take anything that seriously. I'm just completely neutral. The writing itself isn't especially strong as is, but the way it's written, too, just blocks any wind that could enter its sails. The story is perfectly capable of seriousness, but when I'm forced to read this;
>Little Prince also made a short appearance in the story, but went away when it became clear there would be no gravy on the table.
While Shining recounts, disgusted, his masturbatory fantasies of his little sister, I just can't stand it. You could have conveyed this sentence in a less stupidly eupmhemistic way to equal, or greater effect. Why did you not?

>>41714466
>>41714491
Dumb names aside, I do like Peppy/Sassy for what they are. Completely professional, and it helps a lot. What's up with the chapter titles randomly being included in chapter 6-7 (and presumably beyond) when this had never been done for previous ones? The one smirk that I had while reading was because of the "future ex-wife" joke in chapter 6. Just like their introduction, the dressing down Shining got from the maids after his little flip-out went on for too long. It's honestly very easy-reading but I hate that I just can't feel anything for it. I can appreciate the ideas it presents but currently it just doesn't have the type of writing needed to really draw them out to their full extent.

>>41714486
I see your point. Got any fics featuring hornectomy you hold in high regard?

>>41714466
It's a shame we weren't taking bets on the predictions we made last week. "Cadance feels neglected" (and trashes their living room), "Shining cums on/to everypony except his wife" (including his little sister in a public bathroom), "Shining has awkward moments (frequent boners) during therapy", &c. The fic is at its best when it's not trying to be funny and we're left with Shining's slow-motion train wreck of a life.

This fic reminds me a good deal of "Scratch on Shining Armor" in the way that every problem could be easily solved if the characters would just talk to each other like adults. To be honest, the story does manage to have that nice dramatic quality where some new plot twist happens every chapter, leaving you wanting more. I'm actually looking forward to seeing Cadance rip into Shining about trying to fire her precious little bitches of maids. However, the drama still ends up feeling deliberately forced for the sake of continuing the story.

Taking my cue to launch into a diatribe about the maids: what horrible fucking characters. Horrible in the sense that they're infuriating, not that they're bad for the story. Every day, they come into Shining and Cadance's bedroom uninvited and spend a good 15 minutes belittling and quipping at him in front of his wife. He's in *bed* with his *wife*; that's supposed to be a safe space for a person (stallion). They clearly don't respect him and don't listen to him when he asks them to stop, and his wife consistently takes their side over his. Even the sex jokes by themselves are obnoxious, but they only get worse, like Shining says, when they figure out that he's impotent and become all the more vicious with their jokes. I don't know why Shining didn't (try to) fire them sooner, or at least talk to his wife more seriously about them. Oh wait, I do; it's because Shining refusing to address his problems adds juicy drama to the story. I was glad to see them gone, even if Shining was acting impulsively, because it was ultimately best for him. This "protective junction" shit the author throws in at the end here is very clearly just a shoehorn to keep these characters relevant so they can keep stirring the pot and making things worse.

Sassy Swallow, despite her name, is actually a refreshingly mature character. She and Luna both feel like they're the only ones who can keep their heads straight. I wish I had more to say about her; I really like her since she's a pretty faithful portrayal of the therapist who keeps a stoic mask for the sake of her clients. She's stern with Shining, but it's what he needs and she knows it. Luna, too, is very charming in this fic. It's amusing how she doesn't even bother judging Shining and just probes him analytically. I mean, who's she to judge somepony for being irresponsible, right? I also think the little throwbacks to her episodes in the show are really cute.

>>41714466
I didn't like it. I stopped after the Twilight chapter.

I don't mind the fic's setup. I even think it's an interesting setup. But the way everypony acts seems idiotic. I started to dislike the story when the maids showed up. Can you honestly tell me that the maids didn't realize that Shiny was getting upset? That he wasn't enjoying their teasing? It would take a peculiar kind of insensitivity and cruelty to behave like they do. And Cadance knows that her husband has been failing to perform, and she's laughing at him?

The point of this story seems to be: Humiliate Shining as much as possible. From the maids to Peppy Pickle to Luna to Sassy Swallow to Twilight, every interaction he has seems designed for humiliation. Even the scenes with Chrysalis are humiliating in their way, since after all he's having wet dreams about getting raped. I found myself wondering if that was supposed to be the point; does the author have a humiliation fetish? It feels like it. But I'm not interested enough to find out.

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>>41714491
>Gosh, I really don't jell with present tense
It took me years, but I'm finally fine with it. A combination of /CHAG/ and vidya heavier on the storytelling must have done it.
>everything feels a little telly.
It does, undoubtedly. But I think it tries to be good, and that's important. Sometimes a thing is phrased too bluntly, or a sentence feels out of place, but the author was aware of how he wanted every scene to feel and consciously directed them in the right direction. That's already a step up from your average "describe things as they are" writing, and I think it deserves a start for trying (and not doing too poorly). Yes, everything is laid out very clearly and you don't get to piece things through at all, but it's a decent enough story to just read. Not how I'd write it, but I think it's a valid way of approaching it.
>humor/levity. It's really bad
I would disagree here. Some of it really bad, like that quote or, indeed, the introduction of the maids (although to the fic's credit the latter was meant to set up their scenes in the last chapter we've read). But I smiled at some of the jokes, including the name of the clinic. Well, more at the situation that Shiny found himself in, but I thought it was alright. Does it work against the fic? Yeah, a little, but so far the fic kept those jokes largely to the less serious moments and these were the ones that did alright.
>but when I'm forced to read this
I have a higher garbage tolerance, so I just ignore that sentence and continue reading the scene as it was going previously. It's bad that it's there, but it doesn't kill the scene for me.
>It's honestly very easy-reading but I hate that I just can't feel anything for it
That's unfortunate. I'm not deeply engaged, but I like the fic more than I dislike it and I don't hate it for any reason. It clears the "good enough" bar for me.

>>41714520
>reminds me a good deal of "Scratch on Shining Armor"
I almost made a joke that he should meet up with Vinyl since that worked so well the last time. Other than the structure of the story, I feel like another thing they have in common is Shining's portrayal. I've liked it there and I like it here
>what horrible fucking characters
100%. Yeah.
>Shining refusing to address his problems adds juicy drama to the story
IMO that's too cynical. The real reason is that Shining is/was blocking everything out and trying to run away from his problems, doing the thing that Cadance perceived as "being strong".
>is very clearly just a shoehorn to keep these characters
No, it's because Cadance loves them for some fucking reason. I want to say I don't like this Cadance, but she's a bit broken, so that's unfair.
>Luna, too, is very charming in this fic
I thought I'd hate her here based on the quote some anon posted, but she's actually nice and I've also liked her scenes a good amount.

>>41714520
All said, I'll eat my crow pie and say I want to continue with the fic. Once you become desensitised to the constant sex jokes and Shining's revolting habit of jacking off every time he gets upset, it's kind of interesting. If nothing else, I want to see what happens next. I just had to correct myself from writing "what happens sex" just now; I'm already in too deep.
>>41714466
>Mrs. Swallow is a professional. I've never been to a shrink of any kind, but I imagine that's how they should sound.
She's very admirable, yes. I was surprised, since I usually see psychotherapists portrayed with the whole "diving deep into the recesses of the mind" and "magically telling a client exactly what to do to 'fix' them" cliche, especially in fimfics. Sassy is far more realistic than those tropes and really does therapists justice.
t. Someone who's been to a few shrinks
>she's in just as bad a state as Shiny; we just don't get to see her perspective.
I'm glad the author mentioned her nightmares, because otherwise it was difficult to empathise with her.
>the maids
I think firing them was totally appropriate, really. Shining did it for the wrong reasons in the heat of the moment, but it was still the right decision.
>the humor—when it shows up—is good.
I'll disagree with you here. I think the fic is pretty crass as a whole, and the only thing saving it is when it does try to be serious. The humor just seems to be made in poor taste when it is.
>>41714468
>not focusing on being a ponyfic
What did you expect from a story whose premise is "Shining Armor is impotent"?
>clopfic
The undercurrent of disgust prevented me from getting horny while reading the sex scenes, so I didn't mind too much.

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>>41714533
>That he wasn't enjoying their teasing?
It's worse; they do know about his problem. They hate him and, while it hasn't been explicitly stated yet, they probably want him gone out of Cadance's life in any way they can. Cadance is a dumb lil' shid, but she's more traumatized than she lets on and she actually thinks they don't mean any harm.
>Humiliate Shining as much as possible.
That's not true. He sinks to the bottom, but the scenes with Miss Swallow show that it's just the way for him to confront his issues, since they reach kind of really deep.

>>41714544
>I want to continue with the fic
Alright, that's probably good. Plan B involved dropping it here and then me voting on it in the other bookclub.
>otherwise it was difficult to empathise with her
That's one of the things that made me appreciate the fic. She's portrayed as completely unlikeable at first so you can easily go along with Shining's intrusive thoughts, but then the author drops the reveal that paints her in a different light so when she does it again, you already know why and can see why Shining's overreacting is wrong. I hope the author doesn't mess it up.
>did it for the wrong reasons in the heat of the moment, but it was still the right decision.
Yeah, that I agree with, but he really shouldn't be acting on his impulses like that, and talked it through with Cadance.
>The humor just seems to be made in poor taste when it is.
Some of it is that for sure. But when the fic touches on his etiquette problems and he goes, "I KNEW I should have used the bigger one. But I thought we'd be having ice cream as dessert so I wanted to save the big one for that." was a little funny to me, or even the courier scene. Or the guard buddy being related to F&F. Speaking of, there's no way that night doesn't end up horribly for him, right? Just blogposting his life in a bar.
Looking back at my notes, apparently there's more "you didn't need to go there" than "kek" so maybe I was applying selective memory to the story again. The fic is better in serious scenes.
>What did you expect
You know, that's fair.
>undercurrent of disgust
Says the guy enjoying the game with [BS spoilers] incest loli rape. Weak.
The fic didn't do much for me, either, but that second Chrysalis dream was kind of close. Chrysalis is hot.

>>41714491
>present tense
I just tune it out. It's not great, but like the grammatical errors in 485k, you just learn to ignore it.
>It wasn't funny and it went on for too damn long.
I think you could make the argument that the maid scene going on too long was entirely the point. You, the reader, and Shining both are upset that these maids just will not shut the fuck up and go away. I mean, the maids are very clearly meant to be frustrating. I agree that the letter scene did not benefit from this, though; it was just pretty awkward. But again, maybe that was intentional on the author's part.
>this pushes too far into the opposite direction
Yeah, definitely. The fic needs to make up its mind whether it wants to be a serious depiction of serious issues or a sex comedy. Even the stuff in the doctor's office in chapter one could be written off as ironically facetious, but the entire segment with Twilight was just too much. No, Twilight, it's NOT appropriate to lay your sex toys out on the cafe table, no matter what your hippie mom tells you.
>>41714533
>But the way everypony acts seems idiotic.
(Almost) everypony. Sassy and Luna are each pretty based. Jokes aside, though, this is probably the biggest issue with the fic. I don't know why it feels like some prerequisite for a "drama" story to have the characters be incapable of communicating effectively with each other. And wasn't Cadance supposed to have a session with Sassy? What happened to that?
>the maids
The way I read it was that the maids don't like Shining, or at the very least don't think he deserves Cadance, so they're deliberately trying to upset him with their teasing. Cadance has grown up with these two her whole life and loves them for it, so she assumes the best and thinks they're just being playful when that's not actually the case.
>humiliation
I'll defend Sassy and Luna once again and say that they're both shown to be much more sympathetic to Shining in the last two chapters.

This fic is the best portrayal of Chrysalis. Yes, better than the show.

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I only re-read part of the first couple chapters, so a lot of the fic is still hazy.
>>41714520
You captured a lot of what I like about the maids. It's not that I like them as individuals, but there is a lot of story that orbits around them. I like reading about the way that Cadance is acclimating Shiny to the life of royalty, the give and take with help, I like the dish collecting hobby and the way they're taking sides against him with Cadance, even if what they're doing is horrible. The fic would be a lot less without them.

Their introduction scene was not good, though. I got a strong feeling that the author had a set number of jokes he wanted to put in it that was already too large and couldn't actually think of that number.

>every problem could be easily solved if the characters would just talk to each other like adults
I don't think the story actually has this as a problem. Yes, the whole premise is that Cadance and Shiny won't talk to each other, but in stories where this is a problem, you get the feeling that if you plopped them in a room together and told them to hash it out, it would be solved. In this fic, they are totally suffocated. It's convincing that they would not be able to do it without help.

>>41714468
I don't remember that the fic had an issue with being insufficiently pony, but I do remember, and was reminded that the perspective character sucks. Besides the pony names and the nudity, you already mentioned how well it uses the setting in terms of involving canon characters, places, and events. It's also pretty good about horns and hooves, and this ties in to my next point, how nice the ponies generally are. The maids are an exception. But the fic suffers from Shiny being an exception as well, which is much more impactful, because he's the perspective. He generally has a nasty attitude towards ponies around him, even more so the mares. He's also in that awful state of rapidly burning through good will with everypony around him, and being very careless with his responsibilities. It is to the story's discredit that Shiny is unponylike.

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>>41714544
>it was difficult to empathise with her.
I remember feeling this at many points in the story. Often, it's justified; sometimes it's not.

>>41714533
You were already told it's not humiliation, but I'm clarifying that Shiny's central feeling is shame. The kind of humiliation you're talking about takes two. Here, shame is a feeling that Shiny inflicts on himself.
From what I recall, the maids are the only ones who are the only ones who deliberately humiliate Shiny. For everypony else, they do something which Shiny misinterprets, or which reminds him of his own shame, and he spirals. Now, the extreme degree to which he spirals makes it often read like a Shakespearicles fic, with him constantly focusing on how bad of a pony he is, his infidelity to Cadance, and his lack of impulse control. Except it's not Sparklecest.
More importantly, the maids also provoke Shiny's anger, even rage. That's too far away from a humiliation fetish to link them.

>>41714592
>And wasn't Cadance supposed to have a session with Sassy?
She's having them offscreen, for now.

>>41714583
>maids
I dropped the story before learning that the maids already know that Shining has performance issues, but that makes them seem worse. In effect, they're intentionally torturing him. I suppose one of the things that makes this story more pony and less human is that Shiny doesn't order them to be executed.
>humiliation
At the point where I stopped, it all seemed to be about humiliation to me. While Sassy Swallow is professional and doesn't humiliate Shining herself, and while she does need to get Shining to confront his issues, when he did so, he seemed to make the scene about humiliation all on his own.
>>41714592
True, Sassy herself is based even though I think the scene goes badly for Shining. And Luna herself is based, in fact, she seems to be just about the only mare in the cast who's sympathetic to Shining's situation, but the author still manages to humiliate Shining by having her barge into his wet dream.
>>41714772
>shame versus humiliation
I'm not claiming that the intention of the other characters (excepting the maids) is humiliation. I'm claiming that that's the intention of the author. At least, that's the only reason I can think of to construct the narrative this way.

>>41714683
Having read it, there's a reason at least that Cadence is acting the way she is.

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>>41714795
>that's the only reason I can think of to construct the narrative this way.
Impotence being so tightly linked to shame is not a good enough reason?
Very much unlike that other author, there wasn't anything in this fic that made me think Isseus self-inserts as Shiny and gets off on writing a Shiny that feels this way.

The point of it all, I think, is to show how severely Shiny's perspective on what's going on outside him has been warped around his impotence and rape so strongly that a hint of any size that reminds him of it blows away his fragile internal mental state. And, again, shame isn't the only emotion he feels.

>>41713465
>I think I was happier when I didn't know about FNaF lore
As someone who does know a lot more than you, same. I could rant about it for longer than I did about WoE.
>Where did Anton come from?
The human world. Somehow.
>How did he acquire so much power over Pinkie?
Who knows.
>Did none of the girls notice how unlike herself she was?
Evidently not.
>How were these things built?
By the power of the AU tag.
>How did he kill Twilight so easily?
I'm not sure the writer knows either.
>How did they dispose of the bodies so efficiently that nopony found anything?
Fire, duh. Never mind that the bones were burned nearby and should have been evident, or the smell of flesh, or the amount of ashes even if he'd somehow burned them fully.
>How come purp wasn't interested in killing more ponies?
I think he saw the M6 as a threat? Maybe?
>The only real mystery is who this guy was
Which is not really a mystery when you know FNaF.
>I just wanted to enter a coma for the rest of the year.
Coward.

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>>41714683
>the fic suffers from Shiny being an exception
>It is to the story's discredit that Shiny is unponylike.
I partially agree with your point. Shining may sometimes come off as somewhat unponylike, and it's probably a big part of the reason why I felt that about the fic. I didn't consider it because—aside from me speedrunning the post, which didn't help—I think he's an appropriate character for this kind of story. You basically can't write what the author wanted to write without this Shiny. He needs to be the kind of fucked up that makes him lock himself in a public bathroom to relieve himself to the incestous fantasies of his sister, and the fic decided he also needs to have problems with his Princely status, hence the carelessness he exhibits. During one of the more off-putting scenes, I thought for a second if this is like a good version of SI. It probably has little in common, but just making that comparison says some things about him as the PoV character.

>>41714795
>In effect, they're intentionally torturing him
We've stopped just as Cadance is about to coldly confront Shiny about his attempt to remove the maids from her service. I'm curious to see where it goes, because although he did that in an outburst of rage, they definitely should have them reassigned.
>having her barge into his wet dream
They're all wet dreams, and she does what she can to help ease the situation. As much as she can, anyway.
>that's the only reason I can think of to construct the narrative this way.
I'm usually giving the authors a huge benefit of the doubt, but I didn't see it that way myself. Shining is just constantly overwhelmed by his problems, and the shame of his biggest problem concerning his... lack of bigness is a core part of the character's mental state in the fic. It does not feel fetishy to me.

Ponepaste down?

Well I'm glad to be vindicated in skipping a fic yet again. But reading the posts was still fun. Honestly I can't understand why Lyrafag hasn't come back, the club is fun even when you aren't participating lol

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>>41714466
>I'm really not sure if it's a good fic, but the underlying story here is fine.
This is a very, very good way to describe this, I think. What is there could work and it could work super well, but the actual presentation leaves a lot to be desired.
>>41714468
>the big issue here is that it's not focusing on being a ponyfic at all
I'll disagree a bit here, but I can see where you're coming from. (You're completely right about the Hiroshima reference, however. Caught me majorly off-guard and is another example of the author trying to be too colorful for his own, or in this case the fic's, good.) On a fundamental level it's about a man who is spiraling mentally and becoming more and more estranged from his wife as a result of being sexually assaulted. However I do think it does well in meshing more of his grievances into the setting too.

The emasculation/inadequacy he feels with being stuck in a castle with three mares that surpass him in essentially everyway is what I give most credit to. If nothing else this isn't just "a man feels weak while surrounded by strong women" it's "Shining Armor feels weak because he's surrounded by three alicorn princesses." We get enough of what exactly "alicorn princesses" entails for him. Physical/magical imbalances, and further fuel for his inadequacy as a prince. It isn't super great still, but un-ponyness didn't really strike me until you mentioned it. (Beyond the 'sexualness' of things, I could say?)

>>41714520
>Sassy/Luna
Agree for sure.
>Horrible in the sense that they're infuriating, not that they're bad for the story.
Again, agree. I don't particularly enjoy their little acts but at the baseline two hateful old mares who can't stand Shining and snub him at any opportunity while Cadance just giggles along works for further frustration with royal life/Cadance.

>>41714535
>I would disagree here.
I just think it does a disservice to the [Drama] aspect of the fic. A somewhat interesting premise (and I say this as a non-fan of the notion of Chrys boinking SA seriously) is trying to present itself mostly sincerely while sandwiched in-between drunk, aggressively British guardsponies going on and on about "dat ass." I hate to be such a stickler about it, too, but it just doesn't work for me. The story just doesn't hit the emotional low-points well enough for me to honestly believe any such scenes are really necessary.

Regardless of my current beef with it I don't believe it should be dropped.

>>41714683
>but there is a lot of story that orbits around them
I think that's certainly true. If nothing else, they make Shining's outbursts seem more justified. I also like how the issue shows Cadance's innocence and lack of understanding of Shining's difficulty acclimating to royal life. Not that she doesn't care about him; she's just totally oblivious.
>It's convincing that they would not be able to do it without help.
You know, I actually like your perpsective more than what I said previously. They've clearly got issues, but each of Shining and Cadance hardly understand their own emotions, so it's not like a conversation would be very productive. I think your comment about them "suffocating" each other is insightful: Shining's obviously feeling repressed by Cadance and her expectations, while Cadance feels powerless, like she can't help but depend on Shining Armor. I do actually like how Cadance recognises to some extent the burden she's putting on Shining; she's just trying to remedy it in a bad way.
>He's also in that awful state of rapidly burning through good will with everypony around him
This was also triggering some alarms for me the further we went on. The author's kept teasing it, but I think we cut off at the point where Shining finally gets some pushback from Cadance. Given we're only 1/3 of the way through, I can't imagine the coming confrontation will really do anything to help the situation.
>>41714772
>She's having them offscreen, for now.
Sassy must be in a similar situation to Twilight in "Green Isn't Your Color".
>>41714795
>she seems to be just about the only mare in the cast who's sympathetic to Shining's situation
Sassy too, but she knows that the best way to help him is to keep to strict professionalism. Luna's also the only mare in the cast who's justified in acting superior to Shining, and it's not like she didn't see his dreams, anyway. I get where you're coming from about how, in a "meta" way, the scenes still seem constructed to humiliate Shining, but I don't think there's any way around it. If we take it as a given that Shining acts the way he does, then it's only a natural consequence that ponies would break through his brooding and embarrass him. Why shouldn't Shining be humiliated for jacking off in a public bathroom, or destroying his apartment in a fit of rage? The real thing you should be addressing is why he does these things in the first place.

>>41714583
>the reveal that paints her in a different light
Agreed that this is a strong element of the fic, and certainly one way it surpasses Scratch on Shining Armor. I'm looking forward to seeing more from Cadance in the coming week.
>Or the guard buddy being related to F&F
This was a fun little detail. To be honest, the funniest part of the fic in my opinion was
>"I facking touch every mare ass I facking well wish you pussywhipped faggot."
at the end of chapter 6. Seeing his (and the other guards') accent come out more strongly the more they drank was funny. I'll stand by what I said, though, that most of the humor (and especially the sexual humor) is jarring in context.
>spoiler
Hey, it's not that I dislike this stuff categorically; there's just a time and a place for it. That said, when the humor and indulgence mixes with the serious, distasteful sexual problems (like with the underage-mare-fantasizing in chapter 1), it does have a Black Souls-y feeling. It's just that the fic would have to really commit to that style and not this kind of back-and-forth it's doing. Helps compartmentalise it, you see.
>>41714832
>I'm curious to see where it goes
For sure. Hopefully we don't get fake-outs like before / after the bar scene.
>>41714861
>Well I'm glad to be vindicated in skipping a fic yet again
Yeah, this fic can be pretty heavy / graphic when it wants to be. The dream scenes really DO border on clop, even if they're not meant to be in context.
>>41714901
>trying to present itself mostly sincerely while sandwiched in-between drunk, aggressively British guardsponies
I agree, the tone just varies too wildly towards brash comedy for me to take the dark, emotional parts very seriously. It's difficult to believe that Shining is really tormented by his inability to speak about his insecurities if he's laying them out on the table like that while drunk with his buddies.

>if you don't rock and stone
>it's not a DRG crossover
Gay

Deep Rock Galactic but it's with all the Pie siblings.

>>41715353
All three of them? You're still one shy of a full team.

>>41715371
That includes Pinkie. She is a Pie sibling too.

>>41715371
Are you okay?

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>>41715397
I've only studied mathematics to a programmer's level, but even I can tell you Pinkie, Inkie, and Blinkie make a three.
>>41715401
Quite.

>>41715411
That's not their names.

>>41715411
>Inkie and Blinkie
based

>>41715417
Those were their names in better times.

>>41715417
Correct, you should be using the plural there.

>>41715420
Okay.

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>>41715411
>pic
How DO you write Ponk, anyway? Even the showstaff couldn't figure her out for most of it.

>>41715465
Autism, but the extroverted kind

>>41714535
>vidya heavier on the storytelling
Which?

>>41715538
Clearly he's talking about Ultrakill.

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>>41714901
>another example of the author trying to be too colorful for his own, or in this case the fic's, good
The fic had quite a few of spots where I felt exactly what you're saying there, but I wouldn't dock too many points for this. I prefer it when fics try to do something nice with their writing and fall short, compared to not doing anything interesting.
>It isn't super great still, but un-ponyness didn't really strike me until you mentioned it. (Beyond the 'sexualness' of things, I could say?)
You could be right. It's entirely possible that I was just looking for something because "I was raped by bug queen and now I can't get it up for my wife" doesn't feel like the most pony kind of story. Or maybe Shiny's PoV is to blame. But to give credit where it's due, yeah, the setting is incorporated well.
>The story just doesn't hit the emotional low-points well enough
It could (should) be doing that a lot better. After reading your (and other anons') posts and then coming back to check the fic, I'm definitely a lot less happy about the humor in the fic.

>>41715066
>Hey, it's not that I dislike this stuff categorically; there's just a time and a place for it.
Oh, I know and I agree; I was mostly joking.
>dream scenes really DO border on clop
>border
I do think they are clop, just not meant for sexual gratification, but rather to show Shining's situation. You don't switch into porn descriptions accidentally.

>>41715538
Not to blogpost offtopic too much, but while I haven't had the time for much vidya in the last months, the last big game I played was BG3, and I did it twice to see more of the game. The decision trees are huge. It was the only major game I've played all year. I also did some hours of Sunless Sea/Skies, Cultist Sim, Fallen London, etc. which all feature a lot of present tense reading. There was also that time last year when I binged some RPGMaker games, which are often text-heavy.
And while "game" is a generous description, my VN phase from a year (two?) ago influenced it as well since they're almost all present tense.

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>>41715465
Here are some points I usually keep in mind:
1) The most informal style of speech out of all M6, a little childish here and there, but not full-on babyspeak.
2) Goes off on tangents occasionally, but mostly during lighter moments or specifically to lighten the mood. Whenever her mind drifts in more serious situations, she either catches herself or ends up finding an out-of-the-box solution to the problem at hand.
3) Senses sadness very well and responds to it as quickly as she can, but it may take her a while to figure out exactly how to best cheer a sad character up.
4) Main flaw is being somewhat emotionally unstable, which is related to her fear of not being liked by her friends, as well as occasionally not taking things seriously enough, which may lead to her being a bit insensitive or rushing into a situation without a plan.
5) While energetic, Pinkie does have quiet moments. She may be the most comedic character, but comedy isn't about being obnoxious.
6) Pinkie lives for joy, others' and her own, in this order. Any instance of her deliberately upsetting someone who isn't a threat needs a very good reason.

>>41715619
>spoiler
How much of your time was spent on gay romance?

>>41715619
Play Planescape Torment

>>41715629
I was not strong enough to do Astarion's or Gale's romance no matter how much people praised it. Shart's was really nice and Karlach's was alright.

>>41714817
>Impotence being so tightly linked to shame is not a good enough reason?
No, it's not. There's a dozen or more ways to tell any story. This one decided to focus almost exclusively on the parts where Shiny feels ashamed.
>a hint of any size that reminds him of it
Almost every scene is more than a hint. It would be nice to have more scenes like him in the office overwhelmed by paperwork or like him at the state dinner. Those scenes don't feel designed to humiliate him. But those scenes also don't show him reaching the same depths as when he's in a public bathroom masturbating to thoughts of his sister, and it's the latter kind of scene that (to me) really feels like the focus of the fic.
>>41714832
>It does not feel fetishy to me.
It definitely does to me. It's true that there's more to the story than just that, but that feels like where the emphasis is.
>>41715034
>I don't think there's any way around it.
To some extent, I agree. I don't mind that the fic has some scenes which are humiliating for Shiny. Any good fic with this premise is likely to have some scenes which are humiliating for him. It's the way they're handled that isn't working for me. For example, I'd prefer a scene where he has tea with Twilight and they have an innocent conversation where she doesn't pull out sex toys in public, but he still masturbates in the bathroom afterward. That is, I'd remove the public embarrassment from the situation and create a bigger contrast between him trying to keep everything together in public (and barely succeeding) and his private breakdown. It would feel less like a humiliation fetish that way.

>>41715353
But is Maud gunner or driller...

can I get a qrd on the scene where Twilight puts sex toys on the table of a cafe while she's with shining?

>>41715675
Spoilered just because but:
After a session Shining's therapist says he shouldn't go home immediately and maybe just take a walk. He wanders around Canterlot for a bit and ends up finding a sex-shop. Enters, runs right into Twilight. They go for tea and eventually Twilight nudges him about not asking about what she got at the store. He asks. Twi, weirdly excited, pulls out 'Neighsa Balls', which she says can help 'tighten up' mares down there. Shining's freaking out because she's so casually talking about them in public (and pulling them out), Twi remains oddly nonchalant about the whole ordeal, even calling him a baby for not wanting to keep the discussion going.

>>41715716
>just bumps into twilight there
fucking kek, I imagined it was just her bringing her bad dragon bag out to the cafe though, so at least it makes some more sense (not really) and I think I'd agree with whoever said that part of the non-ponyness is the sexuality itself if he's bumping into twilight in places like that buying particularly that.

>>41715730
>he doesn't take a bagfull of soft silicone with hi. wherever he goes
Enjoy being stranded with no way to relieve your urges.

>>41715730
The story heavily implies that Twilight's an autistic horndog

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>>41715730
>in Twiflag's Equestria, librarians are only allotted two* coupons a month for sex toys, NOT to be exchanged for imported goods.
>* one if they're purple

>>41715923
Who tf out here going through a sex toy a month, what do you fucking eat them

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>>41715926
Fine print: lube.

>>41715929
There's a spell for that

>>41715926
Someone post that "cock can't win against pussy" crushed vegetable hentai meme (or the ponified version).

>>41715929
>the sex toy stipend also applies to lube
That's stupid.

>>41715929
I thought a faggot like you would know lube isn't that expensive.

>>41715923
She was born with the greatest sex toy to ever exist though. And it's even her element.

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>>41715956
The whole thing is stupid; Twilight, a librarian would definitely patronize a sex shop.
Also, it was meant to evoke wartime rationing, but I forgot they weren't called coupons.
So, something like "In Twiflag's Equestria, librarians are only allotted two stamps a year for sex toys, which can only be exchanged on one day of the month, and not for imported goods" was closer to what I thought was funny.

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>>41715926
Someone needs to take gooning lessons from Twilight.

>>41715983
I don't want to do that.

>>41715983
Good thing Shepard stopped being an artist and became a full time findom AIslop producer.

>>41716039
Oh speaking of apparently that Artist person that's banned from everything also uses AI to write her fics.

>>41716041
Disgraceful. AI is for roleplay.

>>41716043
Can confirm.
t. writing another EPR card right now

Atrocious fucking cover on the Wordsworth Classics edition of Alice, but at least it's dirt cheap.

>>41716052
Also, looking at my small collection side to side: You can really fucking tell Dickens got paid by word count. It is actually so funny when you put his stuff next to a lot of other classics.

>>41715973
Autistic people shouldn't be allowed to write.

The fact that we have canon FiW archetypes for the Y6 tempts me every week.

>>41716750
Woops there goes 1/3 of all human innovation.

>>41716807
>"innovation"

>>41716045
EPR?

>>41716863
>his goon sessions don't get intense enough to require Emergency Preservation and Resuscitation
Check out /chag/, and thank me later, assuming your speech center doesn't get fried.

I just want to say I hate all of you so goddamn much. That is all.

>>41716052
Lewis really fumbled three cunnybunnies at once, huh?

>>41717133
Why?

>>41717167
When you read posts like the one just above yours, it's hard not to feel a little ill

>>41717163
Having researched the topic a whole bunch, I really don't think he *did* anything to the girls. He was too much of a decent person. He was almost definitely a pedo and his relationship with the girls (just the two older ones, though; he was not involved with Edith) was likely the reason for his sudden termination and ban from the Liddell estate.
The poem from the second book is quite something with the full context.

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I only remembered a few scenes with Luna in the club fic, it's been really great re-reading the ones I forgot were there. She's great here. The question marks appearing in the dream was a particularly fun visual.

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Is it cringe that i'm rewatching the show, taking notes, reading s1-era fanfics, and gathering references to better aid me in writing, on top of doing these big 'what is my goal, how do i achieve it' planning documents for each story I write? Am I taking autism fanfics too serously? Is it dumb to want to try and write legitimate masterpieces, or at least very high-quality fics because I think that would be cool? I suppose it would only be cringe if i go through all this effort and fuck it up along the way.

Regardless I want to do it because it sounds funny.

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>>41717511
>come into fanfic thread
>"Is trying to make a good fanfic cringe?"

>>41717511
No, but it is dumb to look at early fics for good writing.

>>41717511
No. That's good. Season one is the foundation of pony. It should be the foundation of your writing as well.

>>41717552
Not doing it for good writing. I am very interested in observing the atmosphere of that time, and the creative expression/ fan concepts and wonder exhibited before everything got set in stone by the later seasons.

>>41717526
I guess my worry is taking it far, far too seriously instead of the more freeform or fun thing contributing to the fandom should be. But then again i'm not creating a multi year thesis in a lab i'm just doing some outlining writeups so perhaps i'm overthinking.

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>>41717526
The ones who say it's cringe for taking it too seriously are just expressing their intimidation. Planning a story is right there in Ezn's guide, which is at the top of every thread, and part of the advice package for authors on FiMfiction. It sounds like your main mistake so far is soliciting writing advice from posters who think stories should be garbage.

Planning, including outlining and research, is a fundamental step when taking on a project where every aspect of it doesn't fit in your head at once.

>>41717600
>your main mistake so far is soliciting writing advice from posters who think stories should be garbage
>literally everyone who replied told him he's doing the right thing

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>>41717639
If it's not a bait post, it means he came from an environment where sincerely putting effort into art is regularly attacked as cringe.
Can you think of a place where that might happen? Somewhere where, perhaps, a form of streaming storytelling is practiced, and attempts at planning are discouraged?

>>41717600
>>41717693
>it's another "tunafag battles the enemies in his head" episode

Fellas is good writing cringe or based

>>41717708
Good writing is based on cringe.

>>41717708
Consider, perhaps, evil writing.

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>>41717702
There's an element of sincerity in bait posts like >>40882961
You can see it come to the surface in recent posts like >>41647065, and I believe it's mostly from the impulse to tear down people who the poster perceives to be "stepping beyond their place" or something along those lines.

>>41717693
>a form of streaming storytelling is practiced, and attempts at planning are discouraged?
That's literally not a thing anywhere except shonen jump. I've written greens and ran CYOAs and planning was always an expected factor.

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>>41717808
I've read picrel and some shitty princess quests from the same era, as well as At the Inn of the Prancing Pony, and there's a large proportion of people who try to derail it just for the entertainment of watching the DM scramble to reconstruct plans that fell apart. The only variable is how spiteful they are, and that's still not counting the ones who are are fully committed to letting nobody have nice things.

>>41717845
Skill issue.

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>>41717710
Sincerity*

>>41717871
AB looking like him does put credence to her being an incest child, recessive genes skipping generations and all.

>>41713995
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/39849/rites-of-ascension
>Incomplete
No, thank you.
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/1886/the-immortal-game
Read it about 2 months ago and enjoyed it. I love edgekino.
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/190641/withdrawal
This looks interesting. Thanks for the recommendation.

>>41717878
>Apple Bloom looking like her father gives credence to her being an incest child
????????????????????????????

>>41717883
I can also vouch for Withdrawal. Very solid fic

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>>41717885
It's a family tradition.

>>41717885
Someone skipped middle school biology.

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>>41717955
>not dropping out of elementary school
Enjoy your indoctrination.

>>41717955
Pony biology is different

>>41717963
You're correct, it demonstrably rewards incest.

>>41718032
Shouldn't you be in that shining armor/twilight incest thread.

>>41718080
No.

>>41718080
>straying out of the general's warm embrace
god, no.

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How much do horsewords differ by the nationality of their creator? I know Slavs are very fond of Fallout: Equestria, surely there are more stereotypes than just that.

>>41718419
Can't say I've ever paid any attention to an author's nationality aside from noticing their grammar is bad.

>>41718468
Yeah, those are US authors.

>>41718419
No one can read chink speak to find out what those guys are doing on their own site

>>41718486
You can watch their videos when they get ported to youtube since it's probably the same.
It's 10% cute pony weebshit and 90% edge, but with knives and blood instead of FoE's postapo wastelands. And Pinkamena (lots of Pinkamena) since "pony goes schizo/depressed and kills others/herself" is by far their most common theme in pony content.

>>41718419
British people will always write like Terry Pratchett.

>>41718547
I didn't know Terry wrote futa mind control rape.

>>41718689
What do you think there was in that hard drive he had destroyed after his death?

>>41718689
He was into gilfs and femdom.

>>41718759
A true intellectual.

>>41718784
We'll never see his like again, sadly.

Man reading fallout equestria little pip sure is a horny motherfucker

>>41717883
>I love edgekino.
Here's another, then.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/53/the-empty-room
The romance tag is a result of Celestia going off the deep end and fucking up resurrecting Twilight when she gets killed, resulting in her becoming obsessed with AJ, because Celestia thought Twijack was canon for some reason. If I remember right, they don't actually hook up in the end once everything gets sorted out.

There's also:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/19676/Sunset
And it's sequel:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/24152/for-want-of-a-dawn
They both have a healthy edge to them and Dawn is probably one of the best "Twilight botches a spell and ends up in a fucked up AU" fics that's been written.

>>41718969
>spoiler
How is this not in the secreter club list?

>>41719015
It is now.

>Des Moines has a store called Anthropologie
Should be a required pilgrimage for anyone doing a brony history tour.

>just learned about Blood of Hercules
The next motherfucker who tries to tell me horsefics aren't 'real literature' is getting hit in the mouth with a chair.

>>41719443
They both aren't

>>41719445
>t. Has never read a good ponyfic

>>41719459
Because there aren't

>>41719468
Any braincells in your head? You certainly type the part atleast.

>>41719474
>atleast
I won

>>41719479
He was mockingly comparing you to a parody of the titan.

>just remembered the twist my deadfic of choice stopped on
Pain.

>>41718689
Examples?

DoWaS
>'Don't get yourself killed, Fusion.' Gravity's tone was deadly serious. 'If you do, I'll pull the moon from the sky.'
>initiation point is a facility known as Tartarus
>She could have killed me with a thought. But she set me free.
>Vanca just running off to find her mate before the end of the world
>"The Maker is real and these are the end times."
Kino. Looking forward to the last 15% or so I have left. Is there any other stories or just dowas and the final solution?

>>41719832
There's te sequel to Final Solution. Nothing in between afaik.

Best cunnyfics?

Best hagfics?

We are dead...

>>41720765
Ask Zaid.

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sex with Mothra

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Best midlife crisis fics?

>>41720805
Fics where Celestia hits menopause?

>>41720799
I need to watch the good (Leo) Mothra movies.

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she's getting up there she is.

>>41720901
Hope you can keep the momentum going, Anon.

>>41720916
I did it for the last fic. I'll do it for this fic, and the next one. And the next one. And the next one.

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Fics for this feel?

>>41721059
Uh... MCA?

>>41721059
>>41721071
Seconding.

>>41720851
>Celestia successfully creates her eternal empire
>rules for tens of thousands of years
>ends up naturally running out of eggs before she has children
And that's the story of how the precursor civilization fell.

>>41721229
Not her fault no royal guard ever properly tickled her pickle.

>>41721242
Excuse me?

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>>41721346
The reason behind Celestia's lack of progeny stems not from any action of hers, the princess is blameless. The real fault lies in the fact that none of the stallions in the organization that protects and guards her are sexually attractive enough to entice her into considering performing the act of procreating with them.

>>41721359
>>41721242
You're getting the specifics mixed up with Chrysalis.

>>41721399
Statistically speaking the most likely kind of pony to cum in a princess is a royal guard.

>>41721401
Yes, anon, but Celestia doesn't lay eggs in her guards' asses with her fat cock.

>>41721410
It was a joke you silly billy.

>>41721414
Tell that to the guard.

>>41721416
I don't have to, none of them were attractive enough.

>>41721430
Now they're sad.

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>>41721359
There was one other and she was robbed.
>inb4 >comics

>>41721446
sombra is like a tumblr sexyman without the sexy.

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>>41721483
>Looking at the man and criticizing his sexiness
I almost forgot which thread I was in.

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>>41721410
Oh but I fucking wish she did.

>>41721573
My wife watches.

>>41721446
Anon how would that even have worked if his mirror sperm impregnated her alicornussy? They're in totally different universes

Sunset Shimmer came out of that horse's crotch

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>>41721615
>Implying that wouldn't be the deus ex machina that resolves both universe's problems and brings everyone together into one big, joyous party.
The writers and artists are hacks that ran out of time to include the creampie, simple as.

>>41721700
Please, it's a traditional canterlot courtship, there's no raunchy unprotected babymaking sex until after the wedding.

Wasn't in the comics or whatever it was like that Celestia only started visited mirror Sombra again twenty years ago, or however many years old coincidentally twilight is

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>>41721716
>But Celestia! Lives are on the line and only you can save them by committing fornication right now!
>No, if they believe in the Lord they too will be saved.
Blessed. I must have missed that part in the comic. Fuck those sinful mirror-niggers.

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>>41721720
It has a ton of good art, you can download it and look. I skimmed it, but I did not see it give any timeline for when Celestia started going back there. It runs on a parallel to Equestria prime, so Sombra may not have even been there for her to see until after the Crystal Empire came back. Generally, he would not have needed help from Celestia fighting the evil sisters until after Luna was rainbow'd.

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>>41721895
Looking a bit closer, she says that she went back because "something" was causing the mirror world to encroach on Equestria prime, and then later says the "something" is the evil sisters.

>>41721895
>>41722004
Now I remember, she only starts going back after Luna is saved, because Luna turning good made the mirror Luna turn evil.

>>41721792
What lives are saved by Celestia getting knocked the fuck up?

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>>41722004

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>thread is posting about the comics
Please no. Just go back to talking about runictreetops or rationalists or foe or anything else.

>>41722089
Have you read any fanfic recently, Anon?

>>41722093
Yes, but it was in the format of a comic book for some reason.

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I have returned after several months I think to once again ask if there have been any good fics worth reading posted recently

>>41721792
This is the plot of WoE.

We know you're here, Rat.

>>41722441
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/489485/RunicTreetops/stories

>>41722441
The local pedophile wrote a pedo story if that's your thing.

>>41721615
Due to the chirality of the mirror universe, not only is Celestia incapable of being impregnated by mirror Sombra, she can't even get nourishment from swallowing when she blows him.

>>41723043
Okay, Kojima.

Well Filly, compared to what you said in the past, that fics and pony in general isn't just a passing interest for you, you didn't even spit in our general direction in the last few months.
That, or you just stopped using a flag, but I don't expect that much from an attention whoring tranny.

>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/569333/the-king-with-naught-but-gems-to-eat-and-naught-but-gold-to-drink-the-misfortune-of-king-midas
>E rated
>that cover art

>>41723335
Yeah?

>>41723347
Are you gay?

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>>41723363
Cirrhosis is a bit of a turn-off.

>>41723302
Man, I wish /I/ had people so eager to hear from me. Maybe I should join another collab...

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>>41722944
>>41722963
Damn, guess I’ll ask again in a couple months.

>>41722441
Mine.

>it updated
HIE chads. We won.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/4464/16/over-the-edge-and-through-the-wood/please-sit-down-we-have-a-lot-to-talk-about

>>41717202
>he was not involved with Edith
That does track with the opening poem, where she is (albeit jokingly) defined by her petulance and being annoying. Further extrapolating from that portion you can kind of guess his attraction to Alice was more 'pure' and waifu-like, whereas he seemingly more actively wanted Lorina to lolidom him.

>>41723372
Or maybe you should just put on a flag and troon out

>>41723587
>it updated
Oh right that indiana jones one did as well and didn't fucking notify me, thanks website.

>>41723690
It's an interesting topic, but I wouldn't go that far with the psychoanalysis of a guy who's been dead for over a century and who's had a lot of lies told about him. Forgeries, conflicting statements, etc; it's a mess.
For instance: There was a period of time when, to combat the rumors of his supposed marriage proposal to Alice or Lorina, his family not-so-quietly endorsed a counter-rumor saying that he quit to preserve the family's honor after Lorina proposed to him. It took them years until someone realized that throwing her under the bus is extremely wrong, so the official rumor turned to "well actually it was just one of the servants who made up that rumor, and she meant the older Lorina, the girls' mother".
Or the page from his diary describing the day he was banned, which Lewis's family had removed before they let anyone read it, and that they later happened to find "a summary of" when critics started asking ...contradicting their previous official statement that the page was removed before they got it.
>to Alice was more 'pure'
This is actually something both sides agree on, actually. Lewis's family and people taking their side say that he idealized children because he struggled with adulthood, which could also be used to explain why he was uninterested in adult women all his life.
>lolidom him
Terminal coombrain. Anon, she was 14.

>>41724168
>she was 14
And I've listened to first hand accounts from someone who got involved with the feds at the ripe old age of 13 after a married guy online contacted her and had her play the part of his domme, which ended up with him in jail. She went on to have multiple guys illegally cross state lines for her and developed a brat taming fetish for self inserting as the little girl in hentai. Last I heard she chilled out after an alcohol-related near death experience.

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>>41722050
Obviously her unborn, yet-to-be-conceived children—they need to exist in order to be saved. This is also a good excuse to use when finding women at night.

>>41722052
>I just want to go home, Twilight.

>>41724168
>she was 14
While that is indeed above the age of consent in respectable countries, and not technically 'loli' if you're the kind of faggot who feels the need to justify his attraction to ubderdeveloped teens as 'not technically pedophilia' (even when most hentai sites will still mark early teen characters as loli/shota, see PreCure hentai where the author wasn't a coward going off-model), you are also technically wrong. She was not yet two months older than her 13th birthday when the original boat trip happened, which is what the opening poem refers to.

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>>41724613
Damn, sucks to hear. They did not have the internet back in 19th century, and I imagine such extreme outliers were not something that happened in polite society. Before you bring up the famously degenerate royals, that was the other end of the spectrum, for the people with too much power and too much money, and with different social norms as well.

>>41724682
Funny, but you know I meant it the other way.
>not technically 'loli'
>'not technically pedophilia'
Sounds like a dumb point to draw the line at. It's literally as simple as asking yourself if you're attracted to a character because their body does not look mature enough. If yes, you are a pedophile, full stop. This applies to 14-, 15-, 16-, even 1000-year-old vampires. In some cases it might not be illegal in your country, but you're still a pedo.
And to tie it back to ponies, I have seen people take the cutie mark test seriously by saying stuff like "but the CMCs must be 16+ years old in later seasons" as cope, so it does happen.

>>41724774
>They did not have the internet back in 19th century, and I imagine such extreme outliers were not something that happened in polite society
Irrelevant to the point. If the pedo wanted the little girl to boss him around that's on him. I'm not saying she was complicit, I'm saying it's weird to act scandalised about the notion when we're literally talking about someone potentially attracted to children.

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>>41724774
>It's literally as simple as asking yourself if you're attracted to a character because their body does not look mature enough. If yes, you are a pedophile, full stop.
People who are attracted to Celestia/Cadance/Allie Way/Fleur/etc. are pedophiles because they're just attracted to that type of pony since they're more similar to teenage ponies.

>>41724774
>sucks to hear
Oh she was one of the most interesting people I ever met. Still trying to stalk my way back into contact with her. Hopefully before her illness (unrelated to her being a literal cunnybunny, but partly the cause of her attitude) puts her in a wheelchair permanently.

>>41724774
>you know I meant it the other way
Then why bring it up at all?
>"This guy wanted the loli to step on him"
>she was 14, nonny
Yes? That's the point?

>>41724808
>>41724835
I'm saying that I don't think it's likely that a random person in 19th century would have the environment to develop those kinds of fantasies. Not to mention that by all accounts he was a very timid and polite person, and I can't really imagine him going "ah ah mistress" to a young teenager even if he were a pedo. It's a rumor, but one of the more common theories regarding his sudden work termination and ban from their house is that he proposed to her.
Though I suppose that no one other than him and maybe the girls would be able to tell for sure.

>>41724774
Do you believe everyone who gets off on rape porn would commit rape? That everyone who's attracted to ponies would fuck a horse?
>but ponies are stylised
The average loli is more stylised than the kind of "anatomically correct" porn thousands of bronies get off to.
>but ponies are sapient
And lolis are little brats and perverted minxes.

>>41724856
Séance time?

>>41724680
>they need to exist in order to be saved.
Saved from what?

>>41724856
>by all accounts he was a very timid and polite person
"Always the quiet ones" is a saying for a reason. You would be surprised how much people can differ in and out of the bedroom.

>>41724863
You seemed to misunderstand me. I think it's totally fine if you're a pedo and aware of it. Just don't harm any real world children and you're good. But if it's just you and some pixels, go ahead and do what you want, you have my blessing for it. The same goes for the rapefags etc.
>anatomically correct
I'm biased because I hate the artstyle, but yeah it always looked uncomfortably zoo to me.

>>41724882
Real children are icky and gross and stupid.

>>41724874
Nonexistence.

>>41724890
There is no salvation from fate.

>>41724882
I think you have a wrongful interpretation of sexuality likely born from a lack of exploration of your own.

>>41724891
Filthy causal.

>>41724890
That's not a problem.

>>41724965
It is, because you can't experience pony.

>>41724961
Look, I may outlast all of you several times over, but even I will meet the end eventually.

>>41725018
You could, in the next universe.

>>41725032
That means you stop not existing.

>>41725032
What if no one cums for you there either, Anon? At what stage of non-existence do you consider it to be non-existence?

>>41724823
I wonder if she still lurks /r9k/.

>>41725071
When I'm free.

Gimme good, comfy, family friendly Cadance fics.

>>41725883
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/542471/planned-marenthood

>>41725883
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/72096/how-to-remove-a-unicorn-tooth

>41725883
Chat, do I do it? For the meme?

>>41725891
>Cheating, rape, and fetal necrophilia ensue.
Hey, that's four things I'm into. I should read that.

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>>41725898
Is this "Chat" in the room with us right now?

>>41725925
Yes. Also I know you cropped out the OC infused futa Twilight but that still means you just posted furry porn.

any good crossover comedies? even if they're one-shots

>>41725931
If it's good enough for Twibooru, it's good enough for /mlp/.

>>41725934
RaF is technically part comedy, at least at the start.

>>41725958
Twi doesn't have the mare cropped out, I imagine.