Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual supportvery stormy, but i like the rain :>Hey o/>Any plans for today?>When was the last time you hurt yourself?>Why did you hurt yourself?>Is there anything bothering you right now?
>>78180083UsefuI Iinks for anyone who might need them:> Iong list of self harm aIternatives (thank you muddy):https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7> first aid post cuting:https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/>a wound care guide:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic>a bbpd workbook:https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read> the illustrated self harm care guide (thank you Sisyphus!)https://styro.sh
>>78180083>no>5 days ago>stressed out>nothing worth mentioning
>>78180083>Any plans for today?Got work tomorrow morning, and I'm getting back into learning piano>When was the last time you hurt yourself?A couple of hours ago>Why did you hurt yourself?Im about to rant about it>Is there anything bothering you right now?About a year and a half ago, I found out some random tranny OF creator was making somewhere around $1-2 million dollars per year. This sent me into a really depressive spiral since I can't find a job for shit, and on top of that, I have a pretty feminine body, I have thick thighs, a fat ass, and a slim waist, and these thoughts kept creeping into my head to just troon out for money, that I could make so much money. It got to a point every time I'd see this trannies face, my day would just be ruined. I hated my self so much for not indulging in what I hate and despise the most (porn). Now that same guy is going around /r9k/ posting himself since hist tiktok was banned and most likely lost alot of his audience.This place used to be my safe place away from what pisses me off and discourages me, but seeing his face on this board, and the emotional turmoil that I just now felt like I got out off, all of that came back to me like a truck. I know this is ridiculous, obviously this guy isn't out to get me or anything, this my own personal struggle, and I dont know why this person is the manifestation of these disgusting thoughts of a universe not too far, I suppose it just because my curiosity for the amount they make started this whole situation. But fuck man, I hate this world so much. Why do people spend money of this shit, its so disgusting. BTW: I really don't car about transpeople, is what it is not my issue, but people who make money via whoring themselves out induce ire and distain from me so much. Such a disgusting world.
>>781803071/2Sup anon, I'm probably going to head to bed soon but I can't lie to you, I kinda went to the same thing. I have a feminine body, and before i built muscles had a twinkish body, and those thoughts for sure went through my head, I never took them seriously though. >some random tranny OF creator was making somewhere around $1-2 million dollars per yearThat shit absolutely fucking sucks, I don't want to bash on anyone but I think the whole industry is completely disgusting and evil. Whoever you are typing about is very likely riddled with mental illnesses and deep psychological trauma. I personally believe no one enters this industry unless they lack money, attention or validation from their peers. But the specific issue, I believe, with onlyfans creators, is that they exasperate the issue and further lead to more and more societal damage. I've heard of stories of young girls who enter and go from posting bikini pictures to being a full on proustite within months.I understand you might either be envious of this person in an unhealthy way, or just frustrated at the reality of their income, but behind the makeup and cameras is a person who will never to buy the one thing that they will forever and inexplicably never receive. Being genuine connections with healthy people, friends family, parents etc. My parents can be a nightmare, and I might not have the best relationship with them, but I know that if I lived a life where they wanted nothing to do with me and I couldn't do anything about it, and on top of that, no one can love me for who I am, and not as a sex object, there is no universe where I can be happy, in anyway conceivable.
>>781803072/2I'm sorry for ranting, but I had the exact same ideas of you over the general dissatisfaction of how these people accrue so much money, but you have things that can never be bought, as I mentioned before, and these are things that you lived your entire life with. It's unimaginable living without them. I really could rant for hours over this stuff, but I'm going to leave off with this before I head to bed. Imagine a life where the only people who look at you favorable have to jerk off to you for them to even consider having you on their screens or to occupy any square inch of their mind. Such a dehumanizing way to live, that those are the only people who even look upon you favorable, and when they eventually stop posting content, your entire presence in their mind is dumped in exchange for someone else to jerk off to. Really try imagine living that life. It cant be a life worth living. That line of thinking got me out of the mental trap that I use to live in, whats the point in working or doing anything if someone else makes money doing disgusting acts? I don't know what the point is for you, but it is certainly far better than the dirty money that they surround themselves with.
>>78180417>>78180365Thanks Irkador... im just glad that i dont feel insane saying this shit, its such a dumb thing to have annoying me. and see what you mean when you say that their lives are really arnt worth living. It does make me feel better about mine.
Quick bump before I go to bed. It's currently 5 30 am so my sleep schedule is absolute garbage >>78180083Hey irkador
Hey everyone, hi Irkador ^^How are you doing?I was gone for the last thread.>>78180282Hi anon, good to hear you're almost a week clean. Keep it up :>>>78180307Hi anon.I believe you are right. I am appalled by the amount of money they make, but work is work if you ask me, it only gets bad when they spill it over into people's spaces like you said. Society is fucked sadly and its tragic that you feel like you have to go against your principles for money. Im really sorry. I believe most people are upset about the financial injustice of it and it bleeding over into everything else.I want to calm you down by telling you that there is nothing impure or wrong about these thoughts which trouble you so much. Can I ask if you are asexual or abstinent? >>78181141Hey gatorbro, thanks for the bump and have a good sleep friend :>
I love cutters femboy general :3
bushnwns0
>>78180498>its such a dumb thing to have annoying meIt really isn't. As long as it bothers you its a valid problem, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Emotion is a complex thing
mornings everyone. howre you all?
i havent cut since april but i keep stabbing myself in the arm with pens and i honestly think itd be less dangerous if i just went back to cutting. i hate my life i hope i die
>>78183397thats no good anon, i hope things get better for you. you wanna talk about whats making you feel this way?
>>78180083>Any plans for today?Go to bed, wake up in a few hours, get a long sleeve shirt for working in 40C weather outside and work another 13-15hr shift lol. >When was the last time you hurt yourself?Literally 20 minutes ago, and yesterday, a few months ago before that>Why did you hurt yourself?My coworkers send my brain into a spiral. I vibe, I get into it, I think I'm cringe and hate myself once I'm back at the hotel and yeah it's calming and brings me back. My coworkers seem to like me, but I can't bring myself to actually believe that they're just humouring me. Idk, mobile posting sucks>Is there anything bothering you right now?The fact that I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere on what should have been a 4 day job, but it kinda turned into a few weeks by accident oops. Rip my gf igBut hey! Night premiums + LOA premiums + per diems + daily OT + 14hr Sundays entirely at double time so fuck it we grinding>>78180307Selling your labour or your body to others is the same thing at the end of the day. Be a whore and make bank anon. Also like, if you want to munch some estrogen fucking send it!But if you look into OF content, I think it's like 95% of creators make less then 100$ a month. The sad reality is for every literal millionaire hung tranny top with a T-gel juiced up cock, there are hundreds of girls trying to market themselves and failing. You only see the winners y'know?>>78183397Honestly probably. At least fresh blades are sterileish and you're not getting all sorts of pen gunk up in an open wound. If it would curb it, chalk it up to harm reduction
Anyone here found any good means for attention issues?Discovered yerba mate to work somewhat well but not sure if that's just placebo
>>78183841>get a long sleeve shirt for working in 40C weather outside and work another 13-15hr shiftThat is utter fucking hellfire holy shit. At that point I'd just not hide the cuts honestly, screw what others think, unless it gets you into trouble. Or at least get a bandage and say you had an accident. Also make sure to drink water like an ox anon.Please make sure to care for the wound properly and disinfect, it's not the end of the world and if it helps you when nothing else does, then its ok.>I can't bring myself to actually believe that they're just humouring meThat's rough, I think it goes without saying that these thoughts are irrational. You seem like a really fun guy, I doubt they would harbour some hidden resentment for you. You'll be back home in no time, your gf appreciates the work you put in, im sure of it ^^Also, if you work construction or something similiar, doesn't 40 degree weather mean you should only work at night?
Hey folks.For some reason I passed differential equations. With a fucking 5. But passed none the less.I guess my differential equations professor truly is a great dude who wanted me to pass, since a anything below 5 would mean I'd fail.Still, shit grade. And she still hates me and I still failed probability.
>>78183841> Be a whore and make bank anon.> But if you look into OF content, I think it's like 95% of >>78183841> Be a whore and make bank anon.>>78183841> Be a whore and make bank anon.> But if you look into OF content, I think it's like 95% of creators make less then 100$ a month. Why even post to begin with, porn is a disgusting vice, on top of that, why would I give into something I hate? Doesn't really make sense_ seems you have some weird tranny fetish if anything
I finally bought New Vegas. Am I a tgirl now?
>>78185163>I finally bought New Vegas. Am I a tgirl now?You need to play TF2 ontop of that
Hi all o/How are you doin?>>78180083>very stormy, but i like the rain :>nice :Dhere it's been warm and dry now >>78183854sorry anon, nope>not sure if that's just placebowell, who cares as long as it works >>78184535Hi saka >passed differential equations. With a fucking 5.yay :D Good job frenit's not all bad >>78185163Helloenjoy the game c:
>>78184535Hey Saka, good job ^^It's not all that bad>>78185500Hi catt!!I'm doing ok, just chilling, But its so hot in here and i'm kinda tipsy and caked in sweatGonna draw all evening. How about you? Anything cool happen today?
>>78185835Heyo DM!I'm happy to hear you're doing okay >its so hot in here and i'm kinda tipsy and caked in sweatmaybe you could take a cold shower, it'll even sober u up a little >Gonna draw all evening. fun !! :D are you gonna show us your doodles?>How about you? Anything cool happen today?I'm goodI was on a little bike ride and now I'm planning a special mode in Cry of Fear
Sup guys, how we doing?My sleep schedule is so fucked, but I'm gonna finish one of my art pieces today and I can't wait to share it with yall!>>78184535>For some reason I passed differential equationsNicee, atleast you passed! Classes are though, but I;m glad you're getting through them like a champ.>>78185500Hey cat! Doing pretty good! My new job is doing really well! Things really do get better, its crazy how hopeless I used to feel just a couple months ago and a decent income coming in gives me alot of peace!>here it's been warm and dry nowWhat region do you live in? I'm near the southern parts of the US and its been nothing but a moist hell.>>78185835>Gonna draw all eveningHey DM! I'm probably going to do the same. Are you gonna share what you draw?
Hey y'all. I love being cozy.>>78181373>Hey gatorbroHello dm :)>have a good sleep friend :>Thanks it was nice.>>78183378Morning. I'm doing pretty good. How about you?>>78184535Hey Saka. >But passed none the less.Your very smart, I knew you would pass.>>78185163New Vegas is a very good game. I tried it a couple months ago it was really fun, I never beat it though. I hope you have fun.>>78185500Hello cat.>How are you doin?I'm good but also a little mad.
>>78186487>are you gonna show us your doodles?Here's some random sketching I did just now :P>I'm goodAwesome :>> planning a special mode in Cry of FearOoh I love CoF, never actually beat it tho. What's the special mode? Is it like the weird community maps tab or are you doing the main campaign?>>78186544Here it is, now your turn >:)>>78186556<3
I just found out people in my hometown are spreading rumors about my previous hospitalization and alleged insanity. I come from a backwater shithole so our understanding of mental illness boils down to the village looney who screams at carsUnpleasant, but fuck them, it's all moms and grandmas. There's nothing to do except drink, gossip, beat their kids and hang themselves every now and then
>>78187027>Here it isI love your style! Kind of looks like it could fit into a dystopian sort of world!>, now your turn >:)Give me a minute lol, I'll probably be done in a couple of hours>ur understanding of mental illness boils down to the village looney who screams at carsYeah the really sucks, I can tell this is some small town in the middle of nowhere, it sucks just how ignorant they can be about mental health and all. Just don't let it get to you, their rumors are just plain ignorance
>>78186544>one of my art piecesshow show >pretty good! My new job is doing really wellI'm very glad to hear that jobs are ready scary >What region do you live in?polandmy area usually is pretty dry and storms with thunder are rare though this summer they've happened pretty often >>78186556Hi Ali :D>I'm good but also a little mad.that's okay why mad??>>78187027>some random sketchingThey look sick!!can I download?if I make a city map is something like that I'll edit it to look like graffiti and place it somwhere in the map>Awesome :>thanks for caring>never actually beat it tho.whyy? too scary? >:3 >special mode?I'm tried beating the doctor's story You get only one life, no saves no healing and little ammoI failed, I'll try again tomorrow >>78187118>in my hometown are spreading rumors aboutthey're stupid >:c>all moms and grandmaslol classic
>can't think of a place here that wouldn't be boring. went to fantasialand was ok ig, when the caffeine worn off it was just another task. draining. i dont know man, i dont know why i cant have fun like everyone elsesaw a dude geeking really fucking hard when he was sitting down on one of the rides>^ you can get those vapes without nicotine, by the way.yeah but then whats the point. damaging my lungs for nothing?>hadn't have a bath in a long time, either. i always enjoyed it, but the shower/tub-combo got replaced by a bigger shower at some point. :/same here> always good to see you, dude. :>same, feels kinda like a lame response. back home, tired. i do like to talk here with you guys even if a lot of it is me complaining>>>78176738>whatch out with that crapman im a lowlife bottomfeeder druggie that cuts himself, nicotine is the least of my worries>sorry to hear thatits typical night, had have will have a lotta more of those and im still around> you've been here for a long timeyeah, i guess i got nowhere else to be. hope my bs isnt too exaustingfeel kinda empty rightnow, liltle wiff of sorrow and regret. usual. gonna sleep now, ..again. dont like just dropping this shit and leaving, idk. sometimes i get this scared or nervous feeling when i go and look on responses on my posts here. i dont wanna be negative all the time. i dont know, negatives kinda all i have now. again, i appreciate everyone putting up with my deppresing bullshit
bumpzjsvs8
>>78187696>show showaa dude i love to, but im almost done!! Give me like 1 hour!! In the mean time, ill shouw you one of my favorite layers!
>>78186556im alright. a little tired but yeah.
Goin to slleepgoodnight all >>78187814>nicotine is the least of my worriesyou say that but it can and get worseit's a bottomless pit >hope my bs isnt too exaustingnopeit's not you're here ^^ >>78188481it looks super cool even if it's just a layer >>78188510Hi galnta but it's nice to know you're okay tomorrow's friday and then weekend:D
>>78188622not for me its still wednesday. but my doc appointment went well. she said that the lump shouldnt be serious but theyll do some testing.
>>78188696oh nvm I mixed up the days I'm to sleepy it seems D;I'm sorry
>>78188719Aww man :<Gn cat
it was my moms birthday today, so i drank a little too much. love you guys. hope you're having a good day. and happy birthday napanon! hope you enjoyed your day!
>>78181373I'm am religious, so I am abstinent. I really don't care about sex, like yheah its cool but I don't obsess over it like everyone else on this board. Additionally, I don't care if non-religious people sin ,but when they spread degeneracy, and on top of that profit exuberant amounts, it just strikes me the wrong way. Also, I don't think it's work, it provided nothing except for temporary useless and hallow pleasure, and feelings of regret and inadequacies for a much, MUCH longer time. Its like saying a meth dealer is just "working" providing a life and family destroying substance to willing adults, its not work, its exploitation on whose who receive AND provide in my opinion.
>>78184998What I was saying is they should give sw a try and see how easy it is lmao. Grindr + p2p is right there and there's more then enough desperate chuds willing to pay>>78184408>not wear oneYeah that's the usual play, I don't have fresh stuff on my arms but scars aplenty that have healed over. The usual fit is a long black tank + safety vest with pockets + leggings and all that, but my legs aren't cutting it compared to my arms. Usually the arms are a fall/spring/winter affair :/>hydrationOh don't worry I'm cranking electrolytes into my system and chugging water like a mfer. An easy way to watch hydration is how often you piss, if it's not happening every hour or two you're not drinking enough! Heat management also helps and sunscreen is fucking amazing ngl>resentmentYeah that's what I keep telling myself. And desu, everyone on the crew is going through it rn so I logically know it's irrational. But that doesn't help my brain from doing a good ol spiral y'know?>Buddy's gf got into an accident and doesn't remember him>girl was so tired she crashed her car today> bipolar cowboy is barely holding on and almost gets thrown off site>I'm busy hurting myself and trying to pretend I'm okCrazy ex is calling the cops on butch mcgee > literally getting surgery for ovarian cancer next week but is pretending she's tough shit>literally a refugee while his country is being invaded by Russians > freaking out that she can't have kids and is sobbing in the truckWe're all kinda fucked>night workWe are lol, the issue is when we meet and do setup it starts at 40 but slowly goes down from there. Meet at 430, setup for 530, lights killed and on the road for 6, off at 6, cleaned up by 7 :P But thankfully I'm not out all day in this shit, that would suuuuuck>>78187118This is why I'm glad I moved away, yeah they'll run their mouths but like at least it's not directly impact you. Miss the town, do not miss the game of fucking telephone Try and get out :(
Idk I'm feeling a bit less miserable today.>>78185500>>78185835>>78186544>>78186556Thanks folks
helo yet againhope you guys are doing okmy mood is really shitty so i dont much want to even look at the threadgood news im going to my village in 2 days to get away from this hellhole(i will go insane after having to look after a bunch of 14 year oldd girls but it will be fine)right now im ddead set on going to a psychiatrist to gget checked out but i will have to wait to get thebudget, i hgope i will still want to once i hve the budgetalso in 10 ddays i will know what university i got intoeither the national and kapodistrian univeristy (i will have to fuck it we ball for 4 years to finish it) or the university of peireus (idk if it will be worse or better)anyway enough about me i just want to know you guys that i appreciate you being herealso sakamoto want it or not you WILL get better >>78188905happy birthday!may she live longalso for you napanon too may you also live longdidnt know it was now>>78189054AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WOMANworst jumpscare of my life
bumpothrhopr
bumslkenwbshs2
POV ur working on a lil mountain road off a highway>>78189712Oooh exciting, but word of warning from someone that dropped out due to unmanaged bullshit and stress: try and get to that psych sooner rather then later. :(Also have fun with the girls, sounds like babysitting is going to be a mess lolol>>78189712Had to spoiler because I'm ugly as fuck and yeahhhhhhh
>>78190364Blumpblippitybumpjshsbshsbs
>>78188622>>78187027I forgot to share it.. sorry!!Hope you see it in the morning!FULL RES VERSION (It might take a minute to load)>https://files.catbox.moe/92sz4f.png>
>>78191428Oh shit cool, we got some wizard battle shit going down in the thread. Is there any backstory to the characters or smth?
>>78191659There is alot of lore, I've jus been daydreaming about it for almost 3 and a half years, and I'm really motivated to make it into some form of media (Most likely a video game.) Guy in the middle is one of the villains, while the purple guy is a farmer who the villain used to open a portal. Its really complex and desu Idk where I'd begin with it.
hey fellas its me the sick guy hanging around the other day, just wanted to share that im finally on the upswing and i can breathe through one of my nostrils again. (it whistles a little but still counts imo)oh yeah and i did a total retard move yesterday (tuesday) in which i think i overdosed on pseudoephedrine. (ingredient in the mucinex flavor i was taking)just pulled up this page https://www.healthline.com/health/allergies/sudafed#warnings and its like yea thats what i was feeling>fast heart rate>dizziness>anxiety or restlessness>increased blood pressure (likely without symptoms)>seizuresnow thankfully it wasnt rough enough that i had any seizures but due to pre-existing high blood pressure due to being a fat fuck, the blood pressure very much had an effect on me, which involved a constant feeling of strong nausea, feeling like im melting/on fire, and sinking into the floorflagged down someone which made a call and got me wheeled over to the campus nerds, i was asked if i needed to go there or the hospital, but its like man i only feel like im dying ill probably survivefor some reason when i got there i was just asked a bunch of questions, pissed in a cup, and fed a vampire (im convinced blood letting is a legit treatment for high blood pressure now)i felt mostly the same after the fact, and spent the rest of the day sufferingbut in the evening whats kinda cool is that the suffering receded and made way for an entertaining form of being highdid not sleep until 4 am, making for a solid 22 hours of being awakeoh cool its 3 am now that means that my sleep schedule may be a little fuckedgood night fellas ive got to get to my dreams of potatoes, beans, eggs, and milk
I'm drunk. Its's 5am. Well, since she hates me, I might as well go for a drunkard female hot friend of mine. She's as miserable as me.'morning folks
bimbbobmbmpbpbmpbpmbpmbpb
>>78187530Thank you ^^>Kind of looks like it could fit into a dystopian sort of world!I actually want to do a graphic novel about a post-apocalypse where the world has been twisted into a bunch of surrealist intrusive thoughts hellscapes, with these militaristic characters surviving day-to-day. That's the elevator pitch haha>Just don't let it get to you, their rumors are just plain ignoranceTrue, I find it sad for actual "crazies" that the public view it with disdain rather than sympathy or at least pity, like even if I was textbook crazy how would that make me a bad person??>>78187696Thank you so much cat:>Ofcourse, I would be so stoked to see them used somewhere!! Please let me see it when you use them ^^
I haven't slept.I'm so fucking miserable that for the night this friend of mine became my imaginary friend.I was pausing the game (playing Yakuza LAD) all the time to talk to her. She's in my head.I mean, she's real. She does exist. But I'm still drunk and by the time I'm writing this I haven't sleep, and I'm imagining her by my side and I'm constantly talking with her.wtf is wrong with me.Fuck me.Well, I'm amazed at my ability to write properly when I'm dead drunk.Roughly 6am rn
>>78191428That's awesome, I love the colours
>>78189054Wow you're pretty anon>An easy way to watch hydration is how often you piss, True, that's a good rule of thumb >We're all kinda fuckedThat does sound terrible but it also sounds like a dark sitcom premise lolGive the refugee fella my regards :(>Try and get out :(I did, eleven years ago luckily. And yes, im really glad it doesn't impact me anymore x_x
good morning to everyone, and happy birthday to both yuanon's mom and napanon! ( feliz cumple , amigo. te aprecio. )>>78183854hi! i'm Argentinian and if you're talking about the Yerba Mate i'm thinking about, i can surely say it's a slightly watered down version of coffee. you won't sleep if you drink too much, so it might help with attention since it's waking you up ever so slightly. it's not a hard rush like it is w coffee. :)
>>78190364seems like a beautiful place you are atthe vieww must be great>try and get to that psych sooner rather then latersoonest i can go is by october lolso we will seehopefully shits fine though>babysitting is going to be a mess since im oldder than them every time i go there i have to look after them xdthankfully as they get older they become more managable and thankfully im not too old to be able to have fun with themwill sill be a mess though5 annnoying girls and 2 sttray puppies tthey took in which i will most likely have tto look after xd>spoiler because I'm ugly nah youre finepersonally i dontt much like unnartual hair colours but its still fine>>78192096may you get better anontry to be more careful with dosages next time>>78192424way youre going things will only get worse saka :(
I feel so lonely right now. I really want a femboy girlfriend (male).
>>78192104Hell yeah, might as well make some mistakes they're fun and sounds like she can match your freak>>78192424:(>>78192510Oh my god shitty construction drama sitcom would be kinda fucking funny ngl. Todays episode: the last roller we were using blew a hydraulic line and was pissing fluid all over the asphalt, nobody noticed for about 800m and now that it's _pounded into_ the asphalt we're probably going to have to tear up all the work we spent the last few days doing and it's a somewhere between 500-700k fuckup lol. That and half the boys are back on the blowcaine and the other half are trying to stay sober and safe. God I fucking love this industry>getting outDo you still kinda miss it? As weird as it sounds I miss the small town still life where everybody kinda knows each others stories thing I had growing up. It was cozy in the way the anonymity of a larger city doesn't afford. Or maybe it was just because I was embedded there idk.It was a shithole that treated me like shit, but still I'm fond of it. Maybe the rose tints are on strong>prettyNah, I'm mid on a good day. Currently choked that I couldn't get my hair cut/coloured because of this fucking job and more importantly Butch McGee is rocking the cut I want and now people will laugh at me copying her hair FUCJ
>has simped for you guys for nearly a year now>still no femboy girlfriend (male)/cut/ has fallen, Billions of femboys have to headpated.
>>78194042>>78193878Literally just go install Grindr and don't be a weird chaser. Call him she/her or whatever and get that bussy king. Unless you mean chronically online r9k browsing losergf then you'll have a much harder time (because you both need to leave the house)>>78193276>beautifulThis is one of my more fav photos, was one of my first jobs and made me realize maybe standing around smoking on the side of a mountain beats a office (We don't talk about the mini cones, LCT was a bit of a goober)>hairI drive a ridiculous car so it kind of works even though it's mostly stuffed under a toque. This works a HELL of a lot better then purple on me, but isn't the best blue I've had.Also that weekend sounds adorable, would kill to wrangle a bunch of teens and strays ;-;
Hard to work on CBT skills when psychosis symptoms are intense. Things get more intense when it gets hot outside. I am in a heatwave. I feel like a dog going insane inside a hot car. Everything is so loud.
hey alltoday's a little busy and I don't get much sleep last night so I'm feeling sleepy already How are you all doing?
>>78194726Oh why didn't you sleep well my precious?
>>78193955>somewhere between 500-700k fuckup lolJesus what a nightmare lmao>It was cozy in the way the anonymity of a larger city doesn't afforDefinitely. After that I never really felt at home anywhere else, and because my parents left our hometown specifically without telling anyone, they didn't even let me say goodbye to my friends because of my parents shitty spineless paranoia which fucking ruined my life and left a huge imprint on me which in conjunction with them letting the guy who raped me live with us for a week because they didn't fucking believe me singlehandedly made me the way I am. I'm so pissed at them, they were such fucking useless cowards who were never there ror me. Instead of listening to me and helping my mom would smash plates and my dad would pout like a fucking child and scream at me for disturbing our idillyc shitty life. Anyway Im not welcome there anymore because they view us as pieces of shit who left for money>Do you still kinda miss itI do, although I only miss the idealized childlike version of it that's in my head. A version where crime doesn't exist, the world is safe and nice and everything is new and interesting. I doubt I'd like it that much had I not been moved out after first grade.Sorry for ranting
Blehhhhhhhh shitty morning at work, souring my mood. Fuck both my coworkers, starting from now on died helpful Nappy: as long as no one says "Nap can you help?" I'm just gonna be doing *my* job.My job which doesn't include getting both of them out of shitty situations they corner themselves into, oh also, if they can't understand, much less speak english that also sounds like a them issue. I'll probably feel less angry once I cool down but my point still stands, not under my name = not my problem.Had a wonderful birthday yesterday with wifey, she cooked one of my favorites and made a sweet treat for me, and today mom and sister will be taking me for dinner at a fancy fancy place, little sister made the reservations and everything. I'm feeling pretty good on this soft patch I found myself in
bumzpsjbs6
>>78194310>smoking on the side of a mountain beats a officeprobably does lolmuch harder but the vews will have to be worth it>but isn't the best blue I've hadwhy not have the bes blue youve had?>Also that weekend sounds adorable, would kill to wrangle a bunch of teens and strays ;-;fortunately for me it wont be a weekend, it wiill be 29 dayseven though i know that all the responsibilities will fall magiically on my hands yet againim sure it will be funonce im there i will try to take photos of the doggies and post here, if you are here by then you will seee it most likelyi see myself doing nothing late at night so i will probably be posting here at that time (just a guess)>>78194726hello catii hope everythings been larightim doing just fine, moods kinda icky but objectively doing goodhbu?>>78194940heyaa napanonenjoy your time with them :>soundss like you will have a really good time>picrel is a bird that was BEGGING me to take a photo of itnear the harbour at parikia, paros. and surprisingly in clour
bumpfsdgher
>>78194940Calm down femboy. Anger can prematurely age you.
>>78192433>That's awesomeThanks DM!>That's awesomeI've been noticing that alot of people have been creating new worlds and stories recently, I made mine because of how lonely I used to be, and maybe nowadays, with people being more lonely than ever, more stories are betting made.>>78194726Hi cat! Sorry you're feeling tired :< I'm doing good, just remember I have to go to some random museum for a random art history class I'm taking. Art is for losers anyways, anyone who draws is probably a massive idiot, and I DONT WANT TO SEE IT!!!! >:(((>>78194940>not under my name = not my problem.I don't know why most jobs expect you to do everything under the sun, either by coworkers or managers. It so annoying, especially for meager pay.>Had a wonderful birthday yesterday with wifey,Thats sweet! I'm happy for you!
>>78194726Hey cat, sorry to hear that :/Too hot out? I usually can't sleep well during summer at allThat gif is so adorable ;_;
>>78194923Hi anonI had wake up early and so I went to sleep earlier and I usually to to sleep pretty late and I couldn't fall asleep >>78194940Hey napanon :3HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY!!!!!! (a little late sry but you weren't here yesterday)>>78194940>Fuck both my coworkersgrrrr >:3 peaky coworkers>not under my name = not my problem.understandable they should bother someone else>wonderful birthday yesterdayyayyhave a nice fancy dinner!>>78196024Hello >hope everythings been larightyes it's okay just sleepy I'll sleep early today I think >moods kinda icky but objectively doing goodoh manat least it's objectively good >>78196899Hi Irkadordon't worry I'm okayI'll make sure to get lost of sleep tonight >have to go to some random museum for a random art history classsounds like an inconveniencebut maybe it won't be that bad >>78197057Hello DM>Too hot out?nopejust had to wake up early and I usually sleep late >can't sleep well during summerthe best trick for that is to not try to sleep put on a movie and sip some water and you'll get sleepy eventually >That gif is so adorable ;_;yesvery cute :3 How are you today dm?
>>78194348Hey anon, get yourself a fan if you can, and try to keep a draft going through your room, it really helps. What kind of psychosis symptoms are you experiencing?>>78194940Happy birthday Nap ^^ I'm really glad to hear you're doing well>>78196024Hey sis, cute birdie. Very photogenic indeed.>>78196899>maybe nowadays, with people being more lonely than ever, more stories are betting madeTrue, I think lockdown really spawned a lot of passion projects. I've been daydreaming a really elaborate world for years now and recently, just as I start to really work on it I see a bunch of others doing the same lol>>78197617>put on a movie and sip some water and you'll get sleepy eventually Thanks for the tip, that's helpful>How are you today dm?I'm doing pretty ok, called in sick, slept pretty well, got my meds from a pharmacy. Currently playing through Madness Project Nexus on the highest difficulty. How was your Cry of Fear run btw?
>>78189712>>78192800thanks, guys. :> hey everyone! how's it going? i just spend today with some friends and did a little hobbying this evening. very quiet day.
bumpzjsvsb
>>78197857>helpfulwell, we don't know yet if it'll help you hopefully it will >I'm doing pretty ok, called in sickthat's goodqt least you could relax today >How was your Cry of Fear run btw?I beat it today but got a D I'll try to do better maybe tomorrow >>78197999Hii yuanon nice trips and happy birthday to joe :D >spend today with some friends and did a little hobbyingsounds like a nice day ^^
>>78197999That's nice, happy birthday to your mom :)
I'm going to sleep, I need to fix my sleep schedule. Last night I fell asleep mid captchaGoodnight everyone <3
>>78198872Goodnight DM ^^
>>78197617>but maybe it won't be that badIt was actually pretty nice, I ate at some asain restuarnt within walking distance and it was peaceful. Then I got home, cleanout my pool, went inside and got asked about alot of questions that stressed me out from my mom, and my dad threw all my dirty laundry all over my pc. So the entire day went to waste, I was so happy and peaceful until I got home. I dont know why they expect me to be so respectful and shit when they treat me like a damn maid in this house, I don't even remember the last time they said anything positive, like a good night, or a thank you, or anything. :( Can't wait to move out and never have to speak with them again...>>78197857>I've been daydreaming a really elaborate world for years now and recently, just as I start to really work on it I see a bunch of others doing the same lolThat's awesome, I've been seeing quite a few people making their stories into reality. Do you get really attached to you characters, I do, I even had this one scene where one of my characters dies and it almost made me tear up.>>78198872Goodnight bro!
I'm sleepy my final message, goodnight >>78199162>was actually pretty nice,yay>Can't wait to move out and never have to speak with them again...hopefully it happens soon
>>78199248Good night cat!!
>>78197617>at least it's objectively goodthings will go better no mattter how shitty my mood gets which is annoying but relivingtrying to figure thiiings out in a way>>78197999heya yuanonwent out wiith my dad today and drank a guinessthen realised forgot to get food at like 2 am lolguiness my favourte supper
fuck i need to learn how to hide my emotions better2 of my friends realised something was wrong(and im grateful) but this time i didnt even attempt to do anything to hide them next time ii will to see if they will be able to tellgn now
>>78201164Why the fuck would you hide them, friends are for support you dumbass.
I don't wanna go to the psychiatrist and I don't wanna take my medications, damn it.And my parents keep telling me I'm making a mistake. Well guess what, THEY made a mistake and the mistake is me.Fucking hell, my day is ruined. >>78193276It's not as if things would get better otherwise.>>78193955This probably isn't gonna work.I'll never have a girlfriend, it's time for me to accept that.
>>78196024Thank you so much sissss I love hearing from you my Greek brother~ much love, had lots of fun and laughs, they gifted me some very nice perfumes and a very VERY nice 2000 piece puzzle c: I hope you sleep well buddyAlso that's such a nice pic you took!! and such an interesting bird too, absolutely lovely >>78196486[LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]hatred keeps me alive, yummy yummy aggression taking out my anger on poor idiots c:>>78196899Hiiii Irkky~Thinks improved throughout the day at the office at least but yeah nah fuck them, not my problem not at all!>>78197617Catto!!!! thanks a bunch!! really means a lot and. it worry about it being belated, I understand so don't worry >grrrr >:3grrrrr indeed :< scratch them catto, hiss and scratch at them!!!Fancy dinner was super nice! never had truffles before and the taste was super interesting. Will probably never order it again but it was a nice experience lololol>>78197857>Happy birthday Nap ^^ I'm really glad to hear you're doing wellThank you so much DM, much love to you too, even if we don't speak much I want to let you know I love the pics you post! really obsessed with them!!!
POV: Everything's fucked but your crews setting cones and left you behind while they set up the zone. I love feeling kinda useless ngl, I know how to do my job I stg. But if a barrel truck is full, a barrel truck is full.I'm good at my job, if I wasn't I wouldn't be with this crew rn. We actually are kicking off two flaggers and replacing them this week, that's more on dispatch sending us useless inexperienced twats that can't hack it with a paving crew this abusive Tbh, watching my super getting constantly thrown back to being a 5yo with her dad screaming at her when some coked out paver is yelling at her is wild. I fucking hate this paving crew, at least the flaggers got each other idk>>78194923You're ok, it's weird to realize the town you idealize a bit doesn't exist anywhere except in your head tho. I'm glad you got out anon>>78196024I've just had better dye jobs and the sun abstdestroys the colour. That photo was from a few weeks ago and the roots/UV bleaching is real and grungy. I guess it fits though, everything about working with pavers is fucking grungy>>78197999Health and Safety from the mainland showed up today, which is fucking weird they didn't send the interior H+S. LCS was giving her the run down on the site and poor woman looks like she's about to freak.Past that, found a reserve out near Creston and got a bunch of smokes because it was a later start for our crew today, now it's time for the night shift baybeeeeee>>78201373I love that they get salty when you try to remove yourself from the equation too. Like my sister in Christ, YOURE the two mentally ill fuckasses that decided to bring life into this world with>never have a gfWhy not, women are easy and you just gotta find someone broken in the right ways to match your freak. She's out there anon
>>78201482Wait wrong fucking image. Chillin in the work truck at the timmy hoooooooooes
>>78201482>Why not, women are easy and you just gotta find someone broken in the right ways to match your freak. She's out there anonMaybe someday I'll find her. I mean, there's this friend of mine, she's as miserable and as fucked up as I am.But I don't see this going anywhere. Maybe this is relevant info, but she had a crush on me back in high school.And btw, if you don't mind me asking, are you a woman?
bumpbpmbpmbpmb
>>78202310The bumpanon is always around 'ere, but we never talk to him.How are you doing lad? I guess we're alone here, everyone's gone to sleep already.Yeah, I'm half drunk.
Dude, this boss fight is hard. I'm getting my ass beaten hard.Whatever, I'm still a cigarette stinking piece of crap. She hates me.
Why do this to yourselfWhy don't you hurt yourself doing something cool instead of this dumb shit
>>78202422Hello anon.Fuck you.
It's kind of refreshing to see a place where people are so vulnerable with each other. Everyone is so nice here, but it still doesn't really feel fake or anything. I just wish that we could all be happy someday...
>>78202497>I just wish that we could all be happy someday...Maybe you and the folks here will.I won't.
>>78202503It's not a competion. You're not being reasonable with yourself. Would you speak that way about someone you loved? I really wish I could hug you right now
>>78202535>I really wish I could hug you right nowAnon, thank you.I stink, I'm ugly, she hates me, my grades are terrible, I failed a subject... But reading this does make my night a bit better.I'm sure if you saw me irl you wouldn't wanna hug me, but thank you.I'm just tired of being a miserable cunt.
>>78202567>But reading this does make my night a bit better.Aww. Thank youI've been regularly stuck in your terrible hole of self loathing and self deprecation for years, so I know from experience that there's not much I could do to make you feel good about yourself. Your post particularly hurts because it really sounds like something I could've written myself, just by the phrasing alone. I don't care if you're a miserable cunt or whatever, you deserve love just like everyone else does. I just can't believe your words, sorry
>>78202162Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. All you can really do is explore it and see where it goes y'know? Beats never knowing what would happen and being stuck with what-ifs imo>are you a womanIf you ask my girlfriend, yeah. I've got my issue with the label but I'm definitely a dyke.>>78202422Maybe because it breaks up the numbness of it all? It calms you down? Idk>>78202497I think about this a lot weirdly. My generation/environment growing up absolutely stifled actually sharing your experiences and being vulnerable to a fault. And because of it there's a generation of emotionally stunted men. From what I can tell the kids have their own issues, but are doing much better in that regard.It takes strength to actually be vulnerable, being guarded and shutting that shit down is the real pussy shit.>>78202567Nah fuck off, everyone needs a hug :P
Okay, alcohol, and I'm almost crying. Really. Idk what's wrong with me, but I wish I had a girl who loved me. Unfortunately, that lass from uni hates me, whatever.I need more alcohol>>78202627I've been like this since around 2020. Since then, it's been always deeper into the hole of self loath and mental illness.I won't get better, and by now I'm giving up. But it's nice seeing people like you. Reading your replies to my posts, I'm a bit happier.By now I'm sinking myself in alcohol. I can see you are a good person. Please, don't ever stop being like this.Thank you for the kind words. I truly appreciate it.People often don't like me and no woman will ever want me around, but I feel better after reading what you write. Thank you.>>78202654If I am to find a woman for me, she needs to be as fucked up as me or even more.Because that girl from uni, well she'll never want me around her. She is as pure as it gets. And I'm a fucked up cunt. She's beautiful and smart, but I'm so fucked up that I don't stand a chance.But whatever, if I am to be single throughout all my life so be it. As long as I have alcohol, cigarettes and video games, I'll be okay I guess.>If you ask my girlfriend, yeah. I've got my issue with the label but I'm definitely a dyke.Well, femanon, I appreciate your responses to my posts. Having a girl telling me that I'll find a girl for me does give some hope. Thanks>Nah fuck off, everyone needs a hug :PIdk who'd want to hung this cigarette stinking piece of crap, but I appreciate the hugs :)
>>78202772Thank you! I really enjoyed reading your posts, too. You're kinder than most people I know, you're not a monster. Bad people aren't as considerate as you are. Most monsters aren't as self aware as you are. You really do have a good heart, anon
Work was weird, we never actually hit the road there was a huge safety meeting between the ministry, crew supers, H+S and a bunch of shit was addressed that we aren't privy to rn. Just spent 7h hanging with the other flaggers and the work crew while the bosses hacked it out across the lot lol. Weird day, but we're back at it tomorrow and I can use some extra sleep. Idk why but I feel a spiral coming on>>78202772If it makes you feel better, and as someone that's had a pile of girlfriends, friends and everything in between: good friends are almost as good as a gf, hell they're better then a shitty one. >girl from uniThen maybe not her, but someone else. Are you putting yourself out there? Making friends and going to house parties and shit? Seeing what the field in your area looks like? If not, get out there! Worst that happens is you meet some people, drink a bunch and hang in the smokers corner :P >oh no girls going to love the guy reeking of darts who cuts himself and listens to whingy musicHave you even seen women? They eat that shit up lol. Lean into it if anything, and if you're down, find a bi girl to strap you into next Tuesday.Man, you're young. You got a lot of years between here and there. Fuck around and make some mistakes, you'll learn yourself better because of it!And now I'm missing uni, it seems so fucking long ago. It's weird to be on the other side of the milfy train, older women were my poison (they still are) but now I'm up to my ankles in 20somethings with mommy issues and most of the older ones are paired off. :( An old butch told me a long time ago after rearranging my guts two nuggets of wisdom>Treat your girlfriends friends well, when your girlfriend is your ex, those will be your girlfriends >Strike when the irons hot, women don't stay single for longAnd honestly, she was right
In spite of drinking fewer drinks a day, I see a disturbing lack of appeal to moderation. Same Sakamoto? I get so very frustrated with the stuff, complacency fuel, can't manifest my dreams because lol get sober and clean, all I do is pass out and burn cigs accrue the hatred of my flames. God I wish I were not a dolt deep down that needs it. I hate substance abuse disorder. That's the problem, I garner all types of unwanted feelings with my abuse of marijuana and alcohol. It's sad seeing people beg for rehab. It's sad I lost my wife to reefer. I want to die over it with no fluoxetine, which helps me not feel suicidal.Something about the stalling of my relationship makes me wish that I wish I were more competent to never drink again. That way I could be loved by the one. But again, trauma science dictates that I game and eat that I'm an unlovable ugly bearded man with a foxy little limerent object that doesn't want me. Which I struggle with. What an unpleasant feel. I'm stupid and a handful of weird affairs are conducted out of pity, and I am granted my comfort, but I am further from what I dreamed of growing up than ever. I repress the facts that get me to cut because they are evidence of dream denial. I need therapy again over how all this feels pointless and stupid when I get back in the loop to learn that I'm being nixed, tricked and trolled. I only wish she hadn't given me something in the way. Hell, I feel like had I not been given surgery, I could be okay for her. But it's like she says, I'm a trick not a husband. A gay trick. Stupid little dreams that they throw away so easily at cost they say. The terror... I will also grin and bear my burden without it, drunk, knowing full on that she's wanting me to clean up my act or never. Ugh. I wish it were high on my priorities to get clean but I'm just an addict. I can't even be a monkey wrench she said. I'll chin up and smoke out but I will never be happy with the outcome of an alcoholic, which is me and I am. Wah.
recently realized that i dont actually need any professional help, simply because im tired of taking care of myself and only want things to get worse.i stopped talking with a lot of people online, including ones i've known for a very long time, and my social circle online is very small right now. because of my actions, i only make things worse for people around me. recently found out i ruined a day of a person that i really care about because of my shitty behavior and constant urges to start talking about things such as wanting to hurt myself and etc.at the current moment, im really afraid to talk about myself and my problems, and constantly try to laugh it off whenever someone asks me how i feel these days.recently had a dream that my mom started texting me because of the scars she noticed, i was really embarrassed and i just started crying very hard, not wanting to see her at all. i feel like this might happen to me in real life if she ever finds out what i do to myself.im really sorry for this ramble, but i've had these thoughts for quite a long time, and i wanted to scream into the void about them
Sorry folks, I'll attend to your posts after sleep. I'm dead drunk.You're all precious people. May you all have a blessed and prosperous life. rn I just wish I had a female company.>>78203062>Same Sakamoto?I'm drunk
Saeko-san, I know you aren't real, I know you're just pixels in my monitor screen, but please keep me company for the night.No woman will ever want to be near me.You are the only woman who'd have no problem in keeping me company.So, Saeko-san, please keep me company for the night. I appreciate it, Saeko-san
bunperinooosnabava
>play with my cat>about ehhh 5 months ago>i dont even remember why, just some sense of normalcy ig. I was cutting for like 4 years and finally stopped but broke a year long streak>not being able to talk to my ex cuz im retarded
bathed my dogwill come back later i hope>>78201335to see how good i can get at it really>>78201376>very nice perfumesii remembered a friend gifted me a perfume when i was in like 6th gradei have yet to use itlolenjoy your puzzle :>>>78201482>and the sun abstdestroys the colourwell you could get around that by just not dying your hair yeah?how come you work as a paver? i never expected a woman to do any job like that>women are easy you say that cause you know how you work lolmy friend's gf hates other women lol>>78201493wish i could just go for walk at those woods>AW00nice cpatch lolawooooooooooo
>>78203062Hey, I know there's a lot going on in here but how did you lose your wife to reefer? Like did she just become a pancake or was it an accident? You speak of dreams and facts, what dreams what facts? I have so many questions lol especially about the gay trick part.Either way anon, I hope you find a way to work through it and accept those truths, and move past them to the next things. However hard that is :>>>78203078Fucking felt, it's wild how used to dealing with these thoughts we get that it's easy to forget just how much it affects everyone around us. I'm floating around shedtwt and my brains spinning circles about calories, BMR, self hatred, my body and it just kinda comes out. Like my ex was talking about their hemoglobin levels changing after they transitioned on me and I brought up some other weird shit I picked up from trans guys over there before they hit me with this a few messages in. It's not the first time, and it won't be the last and I fucking hate that we've gotten to the point where it's a hard boundary :(Your mother doesn't know? :( That's sad anon, you should be able to lean on your mother and get support from her. As embarrassing as it is, she probably doesn't want to see her kid hurting you know? (Unless she's a pos but that's another story)>>78203720Why can't you talk to you ex? Brain just being a fuck?
>>78204281Yeah I could, but I really don't like my natural hair colour. Besides the bright colours are kinda fun and if you're having a rough night bleaching/dying your hair instead of sh'ing or whatever else is a whole vibe. Reds are pretty meh on me, Purple is absolutely ridiculous unless it's very muted, but this blue seems to be the play for the last few months. Give me another breakdown and we'll see how a teal/blue works>paverI do traffic control, I couldn't deal with paving crews all day and most flaggers hate dealing with pavers lol. But it's LOA season and dispatch asked me if I wanted to go fuck around near Castlegar for a few days so I went out. Really wish they would have given me a heads up that I could be staying for a few weeks, but eh. Moneys good and not like I have much free time to kill anyway.Got into it as a stopgap while trying to figure out my next move after this girl I was seeing suggested it, turns out I actually enjoy it, even if it's pissing rain, snow or I'm halfway up a mountain. There's a ton of variety to the jobs we do, the crews we keep safe and no two days are the same. It's kinda nice like thatAlso there are a ridiculous number of gay women in the trades, and I'm always working with different crews, and the fresh meat around site so you bet your ass I'm bagging numbers and it's a hell of a job perk. That's why I stay ^^;>how they workNah, it's not even that. Maybe it's the gay blinders but women just have so much more depth to them compared to most men I've seen, I don't know how else to describe it? But your gfs right, these women are viscous and will absolutely tear your heart apart if you let them (and thank fucking god for that).Also mountains are cool but FUCK driving them in the winter worst bullshit ever jfc
morning everyone! Mr. Galaxy here to ask how are you all doing today? do you need to talk about anything? if so, im here for you. love you all :3
HeyoI'm having a good day today idk if anyone cares but some used pedals bought came today I'm in a garage opening them up and cleaning them and greasing themFrom what I can see the last owner tried to service them himself and he's done a horrible jobI really can't believe how wrongly they were assembled, luckily nothing is broken or really worn out
>>78204469>it's wild how used to dealing with these thoughts we get that it's easy to forget just how much it affects everyone around us.yeah, i really hate this too. it looks really selfish, but i always try to think about the consequences of my words before i eventually tell something to someone.>I'm floating around shedtwt and my brains spinning circles about calories, BMR, self hatred, my body and it just kinda comes out. please, get out of this side of twitter. nobody in places like these really wants to self improve, and all they do is glorify self harm and starvation, so it's best to not appear there at all.>before they hit me with this a few messages in.damn, i feel you there. sometimes it's really hard to know when its best to shut up >->>Your mother doesn't know? :( That's sad anon, you should be able to lean on your mother and get support from her.no. she's currently physically suffering, and im trying to help her as much as i can. i wont be able to talk about my problems with her because im afraid she will get disappointed in me or maybe something even worse
>>78204874glad you're having a good day! always a nice feeling having something you enjoy and look forward to working on
>>78188622>you say that but it can and get worseit's a bottomless piti know i know, but if i really cared about my health i wouldnt do drugs in the first place___i almost OD last night, did odsmt i was nodding HARD, if i had took one more hit that would have been it man, thats what i get for doing opiates without a scale igi can still feel the odsmt the only reason i wasnt nodding out at dinner is because of the 600mg of caffeine, drinking that also made me throw up and burp at the same timei also forgot odsmt has the paradoxical effect of being stimulating and sedating at the same time, so i havent slept. ive experienced a lotta lows but physically this morning was a new one, felt really like a junk fuck sitting there on the floori took 15mg of 4fmph a rilatin analog 30 minutes ago, feeling somewhat betteri have work soon, i hate myself
>>78205344things sound different, im hearing and seeing things that arent there my hands are shaking
>>78204979My issue is I'm a certified yapper, and that usually bites me in the ass. But re: Twitter, you're not wrong it's a toxic cesspool of get worse and certified cringe, but it's a community where you can talk about shit openly which is nice. That being said if I see another mfer going off about aesthetic Japanese eyebrow razors I'm gonna shit.>momI mean probably, but her kid hurting isn't something that can be easily hid y'know? She raised you for enough years, I'd like to think she can read you like a book.Take care of her as best you can anon :(>>78205344>cares about my healthHomeboy, nothing about a fucking opioid addiction (assuming here) is a choice and kicking that shit isn't easy and requires tons of time. But 30min to work? You're made of stronger shit then I am gd. >felt like a junk fuckTrying not to nod and failing in public situations was what always hit that feel for me. Like at least if I'm functional I could gaslight myself that it's not that big of a problem even though I'm railing hydro in the bathroom, y'know? >>78205458You're mixing uppers and downers bro, any chance of taking a sick day and trying to sleep it off? :(
Bummperrrs
>>78206655double dubs bump :D
>>78204642>don't like my natural hair colourfair then>I do traffic controlah!sounds like an interesting enough job to haveas long as you enjoy it ig>women just have so much more depth to them compared to most men press [X] to doubti personally have yet to meet a girl thats anything other than the "any woman born after 1990 cant do shit" memeguess this is also highly regional and depends on the age group though>will absolutely tear your heart apart if you let them (and thank fucking god for that).anon (trafficanon?) the fuck are you talking about>FUCK driving them in the winter if you have a suitable car to drive onb them its fine in my experience (as a passanger)>>78204874heya catgood to hear youre doing good today>picrel is naousa, paros. also a bit overexposed xd
i got an odd scratch on the left side of my right legi dont even know how i got it xdalso bump ig
bummposheve4
Hi all>>78202772Hi saka >alcoholnot good :c>uni hates medid she tell you that?>need more alcoholnoo>>78202974Hiello anonI like your traffic cones >meetingughmeetings..hopefully it wasn't boring >Just spent 7h hanging with the other flaggersdesu sounds kinda nice >why but I feel a spiral coming onmaybe it'll a false flag >>78203062Hey Hunter>I see a disturbing lack of appeal to moderatiodang it, another one I think maybe it's because weather you drink or not nothing really changes and it helps the time fly by >>78203078Hi chroma>tired of taking care of myself and only want things to get worse.sounds scary but maybe professional help could help with that?>feel like this might happen to me in real life if she ever finds outwell I suppose this dream should motivate you in some way to make do it less or hide it well >really sorry for this ramble,ok don't you be sorry ! it's okay :>>>78204803Heyo gal :3you can read abt my day here >>78204874>>78205058Thank you anon >always a nice feelingyuppthat's why I don't mind buying cheap crap because at least then I can take my time to fix it :D >>78205344Hi sludge >but if i really cared about my healthhmm I guess you're right :/>almost OD last nightgood thing you didn't >>78206959hello>good to hear youre doing good todaythank you and how are you?
bumpzksbsb4
>>78208673i see, thats rough.im glad youre not hurt
>>78198780thanks, dude. (^-^)>>78200323hi sis! hope you were able to secure some food today. ^^ had a dark irish beer in a bar when i visited my brother in france last year. i forgot which one it was, but it was nice. hi everyone! how are you guys doing? any plans for the weekend? i've been extremely bored the last couple of days without being able to do anything about it. feeling very lethargic at the moment. >>78208673hi catbro! >>78209541hey gal!
>>78206012>Homeboy, nothing about a fucking opioid addiction (assuming herei think of myself more just like a person who consumes drugs, but i guess i am a polyaddict>But 30min to work? You're made of stronger shit then I am gd.idk what you mean by thati took odsmt a tramadol analog last night, took a lot didnt measure, if id had taken one more hit im certain i wouldve been dead. then in the morning i took 600mg of caffeine so that i wasnt nodding out which made me throw upthen i took 15mg of 4fmph (rilatin analog) and after 2 hours took another 15mg and im glad i did because if i didnt i would have collapsed, 4fmph is like 3 or 4 times stronger then rilatin and i didnt even really feel it, i had that much shit in my system>You're mixing uppers and downers bro, any chance of taking a sick day and trying to sleep it off? :(only had to close was a real task but i did itheard like cars and people saying my name and shadows in the corners of my eyeskeep in mind i hadnt slept or ate for atleast 12 hours >>78208673>good thing you didn'teh, would be a fitting end if anything, me and my brother laughed about itmanaged to eat something, heart feels weird, so does brain and body. sleeping soon
>>78209541oh no worries I wasn't close to getting hurt ^^I serviced them before putting them on a bike >>78209751Hii yuanon how are you doing today??>i've been extremely bored the last couple of daysdamnbut I'm sure there is something you could do, like at least make think if some good movies and put them on>feeling very lethargic at the moment.hmmwhen that happens I like to go on a short bike ride maybe there's some bike sharing stuff somwhere near you?>>78209819>would be a fittingdunno if it's fitting but not super unexpected I suppose >sleeping soongoodnight
>>78210480Can we kiss and hug?
>>78209819sleep well, sludge. >>78210480>how are you doing today??i'm ok. just a little tired and bothered by the heat. what about you? >I'm sure there is something you could do, like at least make think if some good movies and put them oni tried to think of something, but to no avail. nothing came to mind. no anime, no stream, no movie or series. didn't even read the manga i bought last week. just don't feel like anything right now. at least it's a reasonable time to just go and lie in bed now. ^^ >I like to go on a short bike ridemaybe there's some bike sharing stuff somwhere near you?maybe, but i i'll be going for a walk with my friends tomorrow, so that should qualify as something similar. honestly, i wouldn't even know where to go when i had access to a bike. i'm just not as adventurous as you are.
>>78210532no kissing! but a hug is maybe okay >>78210624>bothered by the heat. oh that suckshere the weather was actually pretty nice today >what about you?I did this today >>78204874and now I'm chilling in bed >>78210624>tried to think of something, but to no avail.maybe download a bunch of movies ready to go when you need them>time to just go and lie in bed now. ^^that's good >going for a walk with my friendsthat sounds very fun :D>wouldn't even know where to gowell there's always forward >i'm just not as adventurous as you are.oh I see I see
>>78209751hallos yuan. hows yous?>>78210480well thats good
>>78204874>idk if anyone caresI care >:((At least you saved some money on them right? Buying stuff pre owned saves a ton of cash, but also needs fixing sometimes sadly. Hope you got it sorted out >>78209819Good night sludge, take it easy now>>78210624>at least it's a reasonable time to just go and lie in bed nowTrue, might steal this idea haha>>78210729You remind me very much of a friend of mine cat. They're always busy and active despite all odds, and they always assume the role of a parent or older sibling for friends in need. Am I mistaken, what do you think? You're a great person, just wanted to tell you
>>78204803Hey galaxy, doing fine. How about you? ^^Love you too btw
Fuck man i Gotta get sober, I keep hurting myself and others for no reason. Almost fucking died right there and i feel nothing. I keep doing bad things for no reason. Cant stop. All because i was bored in my teens and decided to use pshycs. Fuck man i hate myself, ive never been happy one moment of my fucking life. Started using at 15, look at where i ended up, fucking nowhere. I have destroyed the little i had because i was bored. Now i either suffer or dont feel a thing.My existence is a net negative, shouldve never existed. Should have never chose to be me, never should have chose the things that made me, me. Should have been someone else. Can only fall deeper now. Maybe its what i deserve.I regret everythingI should have died Yesterday
>>78210729>here the weather was actually pretty nice today that's good news. here it just swings between heatwave and thunderstorms. >I did this todaymost people are unable to fold the packages we sell correctly. no wonder they can't assemble a pedal... >download a bunch of movies ready to go when you need themcan't say i'm into movies atm and i don't really rewatch stuff. i always try but usually lose interest rather quickly. what's worth watching rn? >that's good it is. hope you enjoy your bed as much as i do mine. ^^ >that sounds very fun :Djust the usual round. seems they liked weighted walking idea. >oh I see I seeyeah. i'm a guy who needs a destination or a reason to even go outside. that's why i go on jogs or walks with an exercise twist. wouldn't be able to convince myself to get out otherwise. (-_-;)>>78210839>hows yous?could be better, could be worse, so i just went to bed and now i'm waiting to fall asleep. what about you? any plans for the weekend? >>78210904hey dm! you doing ok?>might steal this idea hahai usually steal it from catbro, so you know it's tried and true. enjoy. :> >>78210965you can always start over and we're here to support you as much as we can.
>>78210839yuppHow are you today galaxy?>>78210904>care >:((thanks >but also needs fixing sometimes sadly. Hope you got it sorted outyes but I like fixing stuff :DI rapaired them and now they're good >They're always busy andthey sound like a good friend, I'm glad I reminded you of them>I mistaken, what do you think?hm idk I'm just trying to be a good friend :>>You're a great person, just wanted to tell youthank you a lot ^^ >>78210965>should have died Yesterdaynobut I get why ir seems hopeless if nothing was good and seems like it won't get better any time soon
trying to sleep now. good night!
>>78211386goodnighty sleep tighty
bumpsjsbs s6
ah fuck found myself on a little speed bump today, holding back tears. breathe easy, don't wanna ruin my mood and ruin everyone else's won't let it sink me, it would sink me usually. not this once, not today I don't wanna sing anymore
>>78211862Heyo o/sorry to hear that frenbut times like that happen sometimes You're gonna get through this and everthing is going to be fine and dandy ^^Here a big hug
>>78211886thanks catto, for taking the timeeverything will be fine in the end you're rightmuch love going you way as well ^^must be pretty late for you, so make sure you have a restful night frend!
>>78211949yes yes it is 2:30 here I will sleep soon dw^^>everything will be fine in the endyuppmaybe you should take a little nap to reset yourself?after all you're nap anon>much love going you way as well ^^yay :D
man I wish I could afford to have fake problkems like being a cuttercant afford it, I got real life issues
>>78206959>womenMaybe it's a social thing, I try to treat the boys similar to women when it's safe to do so, but that safety is rare. I know tons of straight women are stupid guarded around men in a way that I don't have to be/worry about, so maybe that plays a role, idk. Ugh gender divides are a weird time>tear your heart apartI tried dating a few men for a short period before I figured myself out, maybe I just chose shitty men or didn't resonate with them. But they never really resonated with me or were nearly emotionally vulnerable. One was a bit better but constantly bullied by his friends over it, ironically she came out as trans lol.Women love deeply, hate deeply and it's fucking amazing. It's like the amplitude of any emotions are cranked up to 11, but maybe I just have a thing for BPD mfers>carsNot wrong, problem is I drive a tiny lil car so winter is a bit of countersteering action and knowing your limits. Being lowered doesn't help either>>78209819>timingOh my bad, thought you were taking opioids before work and was fucking shocked lmao>>78212044You can have both anon
>>78210729I'll gladly take a hug. Why no kissing?
i miss being in discord servers w/ mentally ill trannies that would compliment my cuts desu
>>78212333>tfw no mentally ill tranny gf to cut with and be generally mentally unwell withWhy live
Blomperinoooooo
Somebody remind me here, what's the best OTC blood thinner
bumperinabavalch
really feeling the lack of people's enjoyment of my presence lately and it's led to me isolating myself even more, but it seems like everyone's doing fine if not better without me dragging them down so that's a net positive i think
>>78214695I'm sure that not true anon, :< would you like to go more indepth?
>>78180083bombpbpmbmpbpmbbmpbm
>>78214742i always feel like i say the wrong thing or like nobody actually cares what i say, i feel like i'm annoying and burdensome and i do my best to be nice and spread kindness and be good to people but i usually just end up getting shit onmy opinions are disregarded, my attempts at conversation somehow always go sour, and i just end up with the vibe that nobody wants me aroundi'm sure there's a lot of my anxiety and low self esteem wrapped up in there but i've been feeling so worthless i feel like i don't even deserve the food i would need to sustain mei know i have people who love me, but i constantly feel like i don't have people who like me
bumpzishs2
bumpsjava2
>>78180083>Any plans for today?taking it easy>When was the last time you hurt yourself?some months ago>Why did you hurt yourself?stressed from exams>Is there anything bothering you right now?sometimes I think about how I will never be close to my crush and they like other people more than me and it makes me feel very desperate out of nowhere and I know how dumb it is to obsess and be sad over something like that and I wish I would stop but I also keep having dreams about them again lately
bumpih6
Hi allI'm having a good day and ir I'm making maps :3 I may to on a little bike ride later
>>78216818what kind of maps? routes for your rides?
>>78216924oh no nogame maps, like game levels :>I'm recreating my aunt's house
>>78216818>>78217024Hell yeah! I'd love to see em when its done. Source or Goldsource?
>>78217024oh neat! very cute cat
I think I'll go on a bike ride now C ya :D >>78217114>love to see em when its done. she has a pretty big house so it might take a bit but I'll make sure to show you guys >Source or Goldsource?in source I kinda think I might do some more stuff in gold source because I really like the lighting there but I already know a lot about source so I don't wanna switch and learn different stuff yet >>78217204Thank you anon :3
haven't been here in forever lol, relapsed. hi!
(Don't read any of this I'm 3/4s asleep)>>78213968For the record: it was aspirin, thankfully the sevvy had a bunch of it, I have a six pack of white claws now, a hot date with a plate of gnocchi in the morning and a hot bath to run. I am fucking DONE with this fucking week and it's another before I'll be able to see my fucking gf again. I need an everything crash dayI never want to roll with this paving crew again. The money is good but fuck these hours and being away for this long>>78215086This is a whole mood. I tried something a while ago, I stopped reaching out to my friends to see what would happen and next to none of them initiated shit with me. Like am I that fucking shit that you don't want to get some plans/hangs going and just forget about me? Or am I just expected to do the legwork and that's the cornerstone of how this relationship works wtf.>foodEveryone deserves food and friends to enjoy a meal with, it's one of the best social activities we have! :(I was listening to a podcast forever ago while trying to get a wrangle on my own disordered eating shit, when the hosts started going off about how pwEDs will tend to forgo the social outings where food/drink is a major component because they can't tightly control it without it being awkward as fuck. So they accidentally self-isolate to protect themselves from getting hurt, and their social group falls apart :(>>78218069Oh yo welcome back! What triggered you to fuckin relapse lol
>>78218331i read anyways because i'm also mostly asleep butyeah that's kind of where i'm at, i'm sick of always reaching out and feeling like people only interact with me out of obligation, it truly feels like nobody wants to be bothered by me, so i'll give them that peace, and it seems like it really has been giving them peace>foodeh, i don't know, i'm sure a lot of it is the ED but i've really been doubting the merit of feeding myself most days, i just don't feel like i deserve it, not even in like a calories way like it used to be, just in a "do i have enough value as a person to be worth the effort and resources of feeding myself" way i'm definitely past accidental self isolation though desu, this is knowingly and with intent, partially to not deal with questions regarding food but for all of the reasons i listed above. i don't want to subject anyone to that, but it's not like it's much of an issue because it doesn't seem like anyone wants to spend time with me where they don't have to anywaysthere's some comfort to be had in returning to giving up honestly
husnsnbump
bumzpskbevsgs8
hey everyone! how's the weekend going? my brain is pretty fried...
>>78210965Psychs give you schizophrenia. Just go get on a proper med and your life will come back around to good. You gotta ease off the half gal bs t. Former half gal a day alcoholic
Hey everyoneI'm such a terrible friend, I'm so mean and always rude. I hate myself so much. All I want, is to be dead. There's no reason for me to be alive anyways, no one would care if I died. I feel terrible right now, I may have lost my closet friend because I was so mean to him, and he's a very nice guy.
>>78220696hi gator! what happened? :<
>>78218069Heyo :Dhow's it going?>>78220262Hey yuanonwhat happened???>>78220696Hi ali :3you're not a bad friend >so mean and always rudeI doubt ityou've already been very sweet and nice here >one would careuntrue!we would >lost my closet friendwhat happened?
>>78220753hey catbro! :D>what happened???just a very hot and exhausting day. what about you? did you go on your bikeride?
>>78220748>hi gatorHey yuanon :)>what happened? :<I felt really bad last night, so I was mean to my friend. I'm such a bad person.>>78220753>Hi ali :3Hey cat :D>you've already been very sweet and nice hereWell thanks. But sometimes when I feel really bad I get mean and rude.>we wouldThat's very nice of you. You've always been so kind to me. It means a lot to me.>what happened?Basically he said if I keep doing what I did he would be forced to stop talking to me. And I was asleep we he messaged me that I responded we I woke up but he still hasn't replied, so I don't know what's happening now.
>>78220753You are adorable and I love the way you post.
>>78220807>just a very hot and exhausting day. what about you? did u yo on that walk?>did you go on your bikeride?yupp and it was nice I saw a cat :3 >>78221086>sometimes when I feel really bad I get mean and rude.ohmaybe it'll better to not talk to people when you feel like that >You've always been so kind to me. It means a lot to me. you're welcome ^^>so I don't know what's happening now.well he wouldn't forst send a message like that an then leave he probably just needs some timedon't worry z just try to lern from your mistakes
>>78221212My precious :)
>>78221086i see. stuff like that happens. give him some time. maybe try to vent here instead of letting it out on people closer to you. we understand. >>78221212>did u yo on that walk?we did, but after that we weren't able to do much else. my friends planned to play a bigger game, but thar was completely out of the question, so we just got some food, watched some vids and worked on some smaller stuff.>yupp and it was nice I saw a cat :3good times. :>
>>78221212>maybe it'll better to not talk to people when you feel like thatYeah I won't anymore, I'll feel more lonely but it's much better then being mean to a really nice person.>well he wouldn't forst send a message like that an then leaveI hope that's true but I replied to him hours after he said everything, so I think he may have decided that he would rather stop talking to me before I replied.>don't worry z just try to lern from your mistakesYeah I'll try to. I really hate myself for what I did.>>78221399>give him some time.I will, I hope he doesn't hate me now.>maybe try to vent here instead of letting it out on people closer to you.Yeah I really shouldn't vent or something to my friends it's selfish and mean of me to. I wish I wasn't so stupid sometimes.
>>78221446>I hope he doesn't hate me now.i'm sure he'll come around. >Yeah I really shouldn't vent or something to my friends it's selfish and mean of me to.they are your friends. it's natural to wanna talk to them about stuff, but sometimes we get a bit too emotional. we have to understand what gets to us and try to avoid certain topics with them. so when you feel something like that creep up on you, just come here or let's talk on discord about it, ok? (^-^)>I wish I wasn't so stupid sometimes.you're not stupid, just under a lot of pressure.
gona sleep a little earlier tonight godnight ^^ >>78221399>but after that we weren't able to do much else. my friends planned tostill sounds like a nice day :>>>78221446just try to relax friend, did you apologize? if you have there's nothing you can do now, just wait and see what happens I hope everything ends well for u >>78221172thank you anon
>>78221674>gona sleep a little earlier tonightgodnight ^^ same. i have a hard time staying awake at this point. sleep tight!>still sounds like a nice day :>it was. ^^ good night, everyone! see you soon!
>>78220485im 90% sure its bait but your actually retardedly underinformed, sphycs are and never have been a direct cause of schizophreniaalso i wont be taking any anti deppresants, ask most who take them, its not a permanent salutionyour saying //oh man just stop taking drugs, take drugs from the doctors and everything will be fixed// also i dont even drink that much, controlled pshyc use is also less damaging then any form of recreational use of alcohol long term. i dont do pshycs anymore because of abuse i get trapped in torture realm number 22234 everytime when i do. your words are inacurate and untrue and hold little to nothing of any value. in the end the problem is me. sober or not. >you can always start over and we're here to support you as much as we can.starting over implies that i had anything to begin with, i dont even know what i want, let alone how to get it. and its a lot of work, i wake up everyday and the first thing i feel is pain, body then mind. im tired, when i have off work i sleep until noon, its hard to do anything when the only thing you want is to not do anything. i dont want to be awake, everything hurts everythings a slow boring mess idk what to do, i dont want to do anything so then i do nothing but i cant just do nothing so i just roti dont know how, i dont know what, i dont know where, when, sticking to the things i already do is what i do. and thats doing drugs, because if i dont do drugs then i just do nothing, and you cant do nothingi am always in a state of confusion unknowing unwilling unaction, a misguidance to anything it interacts with, not for malicious reasons, but because itself does not know anything other then doing wrong.sry, its tagged under you but its more me speaking to myself arranging mty thoughts, rambling. no obligation to respond or read>>78211108>nobut I get why ir seems hopeless if nothing was good and seems like it won't get better any time soonif human life has inherant value ive wasted mine
>>78221609>i'm sure he'll come around.He is thankfully, but he still may hate me.>it's natural to wanna talk to them about stuff,Yeah that's true. But I'll completely stop talking to them about sad stuff and when I'm feeling really bad.>what gets to us and try to avoid certain topics with them.True.>just come here or let's talk on discord about it, ok? (^-^)Okay, I still don't want to be mean to you though, I'd really hate myself if I did that.>you're not stupid, just under a lot of pressure.I'm always under a lot of pressure I should get used to it, I shouldn't be mean to my friends.>>78221674Good night cat.>just try to relax friend,I just feel like I can't I feel terrible.>did you apologize?I did. And he is talking to me now.>I hope everything ends well for uThanks. I wish I wasn't so mean last night but he forgave me thankfully.>>78221773Good night yuanon.
>>78218472just been knees deep in a depressive episode lol, falling into all my dogshit old behaviors. promised i wouldn't come back to 4chan yet here we are lmao.
>>78222018>>>78218331replied to the wrong post. ment to reply to >>78218331, my bad
nyujf3bump
Morning fuckers. I'll get caught up on this all after I get some coffee and Italian in me. Also have a Rika, I miss her and my gf so much :(>>78222041It's fucked how that works with your old patterns. Every now and again I fire up a new Tumblr acc only to realize the 2011-tier cringe community doesn't exist anymore because they ban you for that shit now :(I don't want to change I just wanna a vibe ffs
I FORGOT MY FUCKING BOOTS AGAINive been meaning ot take them with me to my fucking village for literally years AND I FORGOT TO GET THEM AGAINon the positive side its the only thing i forgoti will prolly get old soviet jackboots to use and leave the regular gardening ones hereuh yeah im finally at my village and a lot of fucking work around the house awaits me tomorrow probablyi was really happy to see my friends, what made me even happier was to see them get so excited to see mereally want to read the thread but unfortunately i dont have time for that :(>>78212253>when it's safe to do so, but that safety is raresafety as in what? they wont want to date you or wont attack you or??a lot of people believe there cant be friendship between the sexesi think whats stopping that from happening is us thinking with our dicks lol>I just chose shitty men or didn't resonate with themprobably bad choice imhoi see men and women complaing about "where have all the good men/women gone" not realising why that is and actively participating in the reason they are rareway i will try to avoid going through this trouble is finding the one early on(wont work lmao)>One was a bit better but constantly bullied by his friends over itsounds like the average guy groupwas it like friendly mocking or straight up bullying?im constantly mocked by my friends for various hsit (which are usually true) but i dont take it to heart because i know they dont mean ill intend behind itor at the very least hope for it>love deeply, hate deeply goes both ways imowe constantly poke fun at how silly fights between women are at least on the surface and how easily their friend groups break upwhich i relaise now is probably bias as none of us are in any women friend groups [for obvious reasons]>knowing your limitsmost important thing there is probably lol>>78222041uhhhhhhhhhare you alright anon?also by any chance you are the traffic control anon?>picrel goes hard and will be me
Pasta'd up and getting into the claws now. Bruschetta and cannelloni for breakfast is a HEAVY way to start the day>>78223281You better get us some cute town photos while you're down, it sounds like you're about to have a good time :)>safetyLike backlash/reaction from them mostly, shit's not exactly taken well most of the time especially in this line of work (because there are like zero men in my life lol) so you kinda need to sus it out. Are they receptive? Is the timing right? Could they even get into it if they wanted to? But sexual shit always complicates things and it's weird to watch two straight women interact in a way I will never, almost like they code switch idk.>resonateMan I can't do this rn, I need a fucking coffee and a cuddle. I'll be back later :<
I neeed her :(
uphyahj2
im not a cutter but circumstances dictate i must draw blood. what is the least painful way to draw the most minimum amount of blood? ive been trying to cut but cant bring myself to put force behind it, so far ive just scratched a small bit of my skin bare
btw i dont have needles and i have to finish this tonight
>>78225775a cut on your scalp is fairly easy and will have the blood flowing like crazyor so I've heard that's how professional wrestlers draw blood mid fight
We drunk af rn>>7822577518g needle right to a vein, look up phlebotomy videos on how to do it with a syringe without the plunger >>78225989Don't forget that forehead vein! A ton of bloodletting practices use it
>>78226096prepackaged shots? poshhhhh lolnever seen anything like it lmao, do you get to keep the shot glass at least?>Don't forget that forehead vein! A ton of bloodletting practices use itah yes, totally forgot about it but didn't knew it was used in bloodletting, you really do learn something new every day
>>78225989>>78226096i dont want to bleed out or make a mess!i just needed the smallest amount for spiritual purposes, i ended up achieving it by just keeping at it with the scratching but it was painful and took a while (im squamish) but ill probably do it again so any further info is appreciated
>>78226126it just a flashy way to bleed! barely hurts anyways, would've been way faster than your method for collecting blood although the other anon got the right idea with the needle, invest in some
goshhhh 3am bump I wish I could extract my feelings and put them in a little bottle god damnnnnn
good morning :]>>78223108Have a nice day abonCute Rika ^^>miss her and my gf so much :(:< >>78223281Hello>FORGOT TO GET THEM AGAINnooo D:>on the positive side its the only thing i forgotyay :>>of fucking work around the house awaitsdang itno rest>happy to see my friendshope you have a lot of time there >unfortunately i dont have time for that :(that's okay >>78225775Hi anonI think you shouldn't hurt yourself but if you need to draw blood type can cut the tip of your fingers I suppose z they bleed a lot though a cut there is pretty inconvenient >circumstances dictate i must draw bloowhy??>>78226217:chope you manage to get some nice sleep friend
I hate My parents so much. They did something so bad today that really made me want to cut, and it really made me feel hopeless and terrible, somehow I didn't cut myself mainly because I played a game. I'll explain what my parents did when I wake up. But for now I'm gonna go to sleep.>>78226357>good morning :]Good morning.
Hi Ali Have a good night ^^
bumpsisheb0
>>78221819>and you cant do nothingsays who? if you really look at the world, it needs a whole lot more people that are nothing, do nothing and don't have any plans. people who just try to get by without fucking it up for everybody else. >>78221986>but he still may hate me.those things need time. >I'll completely stop talking to them about sad stuff and when I'm feeling really bad.might be the best. at least for now. >I still don't want to be mean to you though, I'd really hate myself if I did that.you can just say how you feel about stuff and leave it at that. sometimes it helps to know someone listens to your rambles. >I should get used to it, I shouldn't be mean to my friends.maybe, but you never really get used to that crap.hey everyone. hope you're having a nice day so far.
Hi /cut/ got out the hospital early this morning after discovering some various health issues. Got testing done there for 4 days, but they don't know what's wrong with me. It is pretty frustrating but oh well. What can you do. I hope all anons here are having a great morning/day. Just went to get coffee with my friend and sit in the car at the beach. Was comfy. Gna do some work then visit my sister for dinner.
Fuck you 4chan for eating my post wthAlso fuck, I took a shitload of blood thinners last night, got ready to fuck myself up and then ended up talking to my ex for two hours and telling them I still love them so that's fucking great fuck >>78226123Posh, nah these guys are pretty fuckin ratchet. They come in packs of 4 and the lil cups are like made of plastic. Wasn't about to try carting around a open bottle of vodka or something when I'm going home :P>>78226126Medical lancets work when you just need a few drops, you can even get a lil holder that will stab you painlessly. I used to use them for magick shit before I said fuck it and just went full razors. There's something to be said for the psychodrama of working a circle in the woods at 2AM under a new moon, cuts bleeding off your outer wrist/forearm and dropping off your pinky into a lamp to be burned away with the other components. Idk, it's a bit messier, but soooooo decent.>>78226130This can get sketchy quick if you're looking for large quantities because like anemia and shit. Generally speaking, just don't yank out more then your blood bank recommends in a given period and you'll be fineAlways fucks with me that people used to use stuff like this as a way to bloodlet, been half debating building one or something like it. Once loaded the spring makes the cuts quick, and all those lil guys are razors. There's some videos of scarificators working on the internet>>78227608That sounds like a comfy morning, medical fuckery aside anon. Good luck on getting the health shit figured out!>>78226126>I'm SquamishOk fine I'm Lilooeet then
>>78227608hi puppycat! (^-^)>got out the hospital early this morningsucks they couldn't find out what's bothering you. :/>Just went to get coffee with my friend and sit in the car at the beach. Was comfy.does sound like it. hope the rest of the day follows suit. :>
bumpsjsbsvs5
bumpppzihsvs2
>>78228529>>78229284thanks for the bumps. it's a slow thread today. (^-^)
Hi allIt's my grandpa's birthday so I'm a bit busy now :<>>78227320Hi yuanon :>>>78227608Hi puppycat o/>>78227769Hi anon c:
>>78230071happy birthday catbro's grandpa! hope you're having a chill day with lots of cake. ^^
>>78226130a vein sounds like too much, i was thinking subdermal blood, just breaking a few capillaries, but a needle is a good idea. theyre easy to find too>>78226357>I think you shouldn't hurt yourselfdont worry, im not trying to>why??its just a little vow, only need a drop. the tip of a finger might be very sensitive>>78227769>Medical lancetsi had to search up what they were, that looks ideal. do pharmacies sell that? hows the risk of infection like if i were to reuse one? i know needles start chipping off at a microscopic scale pretty quickly, do these have the same issue? and also whats the least sensitive part of the body for this? i know the back isnt very sensitive but it might be awkward to reach>>I'm Squamishand youre a bit of a prankster mr lil' loojeet, but thanks for the tips
this general feels like an in group that i will never truly be part of
>>78230825why? everyone who posts here started at different times. it helps if you use a name or have some other gimmick that helps to remember you, but you don't have to.
bumpzosjvs8
Hey everyone. Yesterday was terrible. Basically my parents confronted me for hours about hiding my arm so they don't see any cuts. And they searched my room and found a bloody shirt, and they showed it to my sister. I really hate my parents.And Biden just dropped out of the race today. So now trump is probably gonna win.>>78226564>Hi AliHey cat.>Have a good night ^^ Thanks it was alright.>>78227320>might be the best. at least for now.Yeah it will only hurt our friendship if I do.>you can just say how you feel about stuff and leave it at that.That's what I did to my friend but I was still very mean and very rude.>sometimes it helps to know someone listens to your rambles.It does but I'm a bad rambler.>but you never really get used to that crap.I should though.>>78227608Hey puppycat.Going to the hospital is always smart if you see Heath issues.Sitting on a car next to the beach sounds really nice.>>78230071>It's my grandpa's birthday Happy birthday to him!
>>78231708hey gator! >Yesterday was terrible.sounds like it. :/ not sure why they got your sister involved at all. >And Biden just dropped out of the race today. So now trump is probably gonna win.honestly, chances are high he would have won against biden anyway and i've been thinking that literally anybody else would be a better choice for quite some time now, but i have to admit that i don't know enough about american politics to name a suitable candidate. >Yeah it will only hurt our friendship if I do.better not to, then. >I was still very mean and very rude.i see. still, we know it's not your intention to hurt anyone, so it's ok to let of some steam here. >I'm a bad rambler.everyone has their quirks. ^^ >I should though.best of luck, friend.
>>78231898>hey gator!Hello yuanon!>not sure why they got your sister involved at all.Because they hate me.>chances are high he would have won against biden anywayMaybe but I think it would have been much closer then now I don't think kamala harris will beat him.>i've been thinking that literally anybody else would be a better choice for quite some time nowBiden was a great president. He was so much better then trump. He's just old, which sucks but I don't think it's worse then having Trump. >name a suitable candidate.I couldn't either, I think Biden just did he's vice President Kamala Harris. Which is not a strong person against trump.>we know it's not your intention to hurt anyoneOkay that's nice, but I still don't want to hurt anyone, I'd rather hurt myself then hurt others.>so it's ok to let of some steam here.Okay, I'll still probably not vent or do anything major.>everyone has their quirks. ^^That's true.>best of luck, friend.Thanks.
>>78232308>Because they hate me.i don't think they hate you, but probably think they know better, which can come across like that. they definitely should consider your feelings a lot more. >I don't think kamala harris will beat him.probably not. she seems to be cut from the same cloth as hillary clinton and we know how that ended... >Biden was a great president. He was so much better then trump. He's just old, which sucks but I don't think it's worse then having Trump. sure he was better, but his age definitely caught up with him over the the last couple of month. i think him dropping out of the race is the right decision, but the democrats never build up a suitable replacement and whoever they decide on will have to rely on "not being trump" for a lot of the votes, which is not a good position to be in. >Which is not a strong person against trump.word. :/>I still don't want to hurt anyone, I'd rather hurt myself then hurt others.that's very commendable, but please be careful. nobody here want you to get hurt. >I'll still probably not vent or do anything major.alright. ^^ just remember we're here for you.
>>78232554>i don't think they hate youMaybe they don't hate me, but they definitely don't care about me.>they definitely should consider your feelings a lot more.They never considered my feelings, they always did what they wanted to do.>she seems to be cut from the same cloth as hillary clintonI don't know enough about Kamala but if she is that's no good.>we know how that ended...Yeah but a big reason Hillary Clinton lost is because of the email thing, but I don't really know I didn't follow politics at all back then.>but his age definitely caught up with him over the the last couple of month.Yeah it really did, which really hurt his image. A lot of people do really think that he is unfit to be president. Which I disagree with it.>i think him dropping out of the race is the right decisionIt's hard to say but if probably is a lot of people wouldn't if voted for him because of his age, but most people no nothing about Kamala so it's hard to say.>the democrats never build up a suitable replacementYeah Biden probably should have dropped out earlier just so they could find a good replacement.>have to rely on "not being trumpYeah that's true, and I would vote anyone else over trump but most people aren't like that most people don't understand how bad trump is.>nobody here want you to get hurt.That's very nice. But if it's me being hurt or other people it's better if it's me.>just remember we're here for you.Thanks your very kind :)
>>78180083The deeper the cutThe cutter the slut
>Any plans for today?Noo i just rot!!>When was the last time you hurt yourself?a month ago!!>Why did you hurt yourself?Self hatred>Is there anything bothering you right now?loneliness and extreme lack of human interaction
I'm bacc bum tiredd so I will sleep now, goodnight friends see you soon
>>78233057>they definitely don't care about me.we do. >they always did what they wanted to do.sorry. you deserve better. >I don't know enough about Kamalawhich is a big part of the problem. nobody really does. she was just... there. i got no information about her besides the fact she exists. >big reason Hillary Clinton lost is because of the email thingi need to look that up and refresh my memory, but i think for a lot of people it was much simpler. they didn't like and didn't trust her. >A lot of people do really think that he is unfit to be president. Which I disagree with it.maybe, but the problem with mental health is that it can deteriorate rapidly over a short period of time. he might be fit for his current office, but you really can't say if he'll be in a year or two. >is a lot of people wouldn't if voted for him because of his age, but most people no nothing about Kamala so it's hard to say.guess they need to refocus their efforts on her, then. at least for now. >Biden probably should have dropped out earlier just so they could find a good replacement.he might have been in a better condition when he made the decision to get re-elected. hard to tell. i think he's a good guy, just not the one the world needs as president of the u.s. going forward. >I would vote anyone else over trump but most people aren't like that most people don't understand how bad trump is.that's fair and a lot of people will do the same. >it's better if it's me.i see your point, even if i don't share it. take care. >>78233090hi anon! >Noo i just rot!!not much else to do, i guess. what about watching something or playing some game? i just killed time by reading some manga i bought some time ago.>a month ago!!that's a long time! good job! :D >Self hatredi feel you. sometimes it feels like it's the only motivation i have to do anything. :/>loneliness and extreme lack of human interactionit's not the same, but we're here.
>>78233608welcome back and good night! see you tomorrow! :>i'll try to stay awake a little longer, but i'm not sure if i'll manage. ^^
>>78233090>a month ago!That's a long time very impressive.>loneliness and extreme lack of human interactionLoneliness sucks.>>78233638>you deserve betterI don't but thanks.>i got no information about her besides the fact she exists.Yeah and it's a shame, because now she's the presidential nominee. For some reason the vice president never gets any coverage which in this case really sucks.>think for a lot of people it was much simpler. they didn't like and didn't trust her.It definitely may have been simpler I have no idea this is kinda the first year were I actually cared about politics. >deteriorate rapidly over a short period of time. he might be fit for his current office, but you really can't say if he'll be in a year or two.Yeah that's true, so it probably is best if someone else wins. He was a good president but yeah in 2 years he may be to old to do important things.>guess they need to refocus their efforts on herYup that's the most important thing right now for Democrats, it would have been perfect if she was the nominee before the first debate, that really would have allowed her to be known.>he might have been in a better condition when he made the decision to get re-elected.Maybe but even back in March he seemed pretty old, he's not gotten much worse.>the world needs as president of the u.s. going forward.Yeah, he would still be better then trump but right now the world needs a young more understandable president. >i see your point, even if i don't share it.I'm just really bad at accidently hurting people and I don't ever want to do that again.
>nothing today. im just gunna relax until work tomorrow>yesterday>im not even really sure. i had a strong urge and i bought a pack of double edge razors the day before to cut myself with>currently nothe bottom of the image was my deepest cut ive ever done. since i was a kid, all i had to work with were shitty knives. but the razors i got were really sharp. it wasnt actually very deep, just the deepest ive personally gone. i had a whole anxiety attack over whether or not itd get infected, but now i dont think it will. i want to just cover every inch of my left arm with cuts, but i have to wear a short sleeve shirt for work so thats not an option. i just cut my thigh instead. ive got some shallow scars that are a couple years old, but i dont think anyones noticed. as sick as it sounds i want to get used to cutting deeper cuz i feel like my cuts dont matter. that rule only applies to me thoi get really jealous when i hear about how other people spent their childhoods. i spent my childhood cutting myself with dull knives and in mental hospitals. i still cant drive but getting a job at a grocery store i guess is a win. i spent 21 days in a hospital in london when i was 15 and 17 days in a psych ward on an army base in virginia when i was 16. i remember i cried both times a few nights each because i felt like i did something bar and i was a prisoner in a jail. i made sure no one heard or saw me crying because i had to keep my visage up. the kids in london couldnt figure out what was wrong with me or why i was there.i dont understand how some other people can be so open about their mental health. i feel like if im not always pretending to be super goofy and outgoing ill just sit there and think about killing myself. ive never told any of my friends about my experiences. im not sure if anyone would even care.when im asked where ill be in 5 years or what i plan on doing, i play it cool by saying im just going with the flow. but i just wanna be dead.
>>78184535I TOLD YOU YOU COULD DO IT , im so proud of you man, you just gotta keep pushing and weather the storm , im so happy , as for the girl, im sure you will find someone one day
>>78233858>I have no idea this is kinda the first year were I actually cared about politics. it's been a while for me as well. that's just how she came across and i had that weird feeling that she might lose because of that.>it would have been perfect if she was the nominee before the first debate, that really would have allowed her to be known. that would have been best, but now they need to get her out there as soon as possible. >I'm just really bad at accidently hurting people and I don't ever want to do that again.it's good that you see how your behavior affects the people around you and try to avoid it, but sometimes that still happens despite our best intentions. still, never give up on being better. :> >>78233911hey glenn! (hope it's ok if i shorten your name like that.)>im just gunna relax until work tomorrowenjoy your chill day, friend. >yesterdaymake sure to patch yourself up, ok? >currently noglad to hear that. (^-^)>as sick as it sounds i want to get used to cutting deeper cuz i feel like my cuts dont matter. that rule only applies to me thohm. a lot of people who come by feel like that. i think that if you have to do it at all, it would be best if you kept it superficial, but that's just me. you're more than welcome here either way. >i get really jealous when i hear about how other people spent their childhoods.some people have awesome childhoods, some people don't, but i've got the feeling that it doesn't matter that much. we've all been thrown into the grinder all the same.>getting a job at a grocery store i guess is a win.congrats, dude. well done! :D >i dont understand how some other people can be so open about their mental health.i think a lot of people are just tired of hiding it. if someone ask me about my problems i'll answer truthfully, but most of the time i just keep it to myself. talking about stuff in this thread helps a lot, though.
>>78233911>ive never told any of my friends about my experiences. im not sure if anyone would even care.i tried to be more open with the people around me, but the positive effect of that didn't last long. just don't feel like they really get me, but your mileage may vary. >when im asked where ill be in 5 years or what i plan on doing, i play it cool by saying im just going with the flow.i hardly can say what tomorrow will bring. no point in thinking ahead much more. ^^ >>78234264hey dan! it's getting really late. i'm off to bed. good night.
Bumping with pussy ass cuts :(
People. Just dont understand man, my brother and his gf that indentifies as he/him my boss and hiss gf my pa and ma People around me nobody Just understands how it feels, you know. Im fucked up but dont got work tmr. Getting into machine girl lately, nobody Just understands
>>78235752Sludge Sludge metal i wade in Sludge i am Sludge purest reflecttion of self you are my only outlet in this machineplated mettalic cold world i creep lowlifescum i am ultra hyper bad person for everyone please go away i dont want to sucks you in and destroyer you like i always do i always do cant help it
does anyone know if box cutters are dangerous, i usually use razor blades and i'm a pussy so i don't actually want to kms that way i'd rather die by carbon monoxide poisoning
>>78235923I used a box cutter for the longest time but I also had my tetanus shot up to date so I wouldn't recommend it at all
>>78236932>>78235923That and like box cutters/utility blades are usually pretty dull compared to DEs anyway. Better than nothing, but you also gotta worry about sterility. Surprisingly they feel close to scalpels which surprised me. DEs are actually sharper then them and like what??
I fucking hate the full moon, everyone is fucking pissy at work, we got forest fires going off and I swear I'm going to throttle someone tonight. But weirdly I have scalpel handles and a pile of sterile sealed blades for them ^^;
Bumpsjsbsbsosbwvaj
I fucking hate my coworker's tone of voice it unironically makes me wanna cut out of frustration
I'm going to bed now. I did cut myself earlier. Goodnight everyone.>>78234271>but now they need to get her out there as soon as possible.Yup that's true.>your behavior affects the people around you and try to avoid itYeah, I just know if I accidently hurt someone I'll feel terrible about it so I just find it best to not hurt them ever.>still, never give up on being better. :>Yeah I won't.>>78235752I really hope your okay.
Man fuck today. It's a full moon, I'm on edge, everyone's on edge and pissy, the crews were arguing with us over the radios and blowing by our control points/pilot trucks, fuck we even had two crew semis come nose to nose because people were being fuckasses. And the cherry on the shit cake is someone decided to bitch about the way I was flagging, which would be fine if I hadn't been doing it that way for the last four days and nobody said a fucking thing? Who the fuck on site has an axe to grind with me.The tone kept getting to me, my blood pressure was high all fucking day and anxiety through the roof over my job. I know I'm doing things properly and well, but the tension kept throwing me back to being 7 and shit about to explode in my parents house. I'm a fucking nervous wreck rn.I talked to my TCS today after and she was asking what was wrong and reassuring me that everything I was doing was fine. How the fuck do I tell her it's not the job it's unresolved fucking childhood trauma FUCK WHY IS IT ALWAYS COME BACK TO THAT>picrel literally meMy sister is happy though, she's getting a manual ND Miata tomorrow. I'm pissy because I need to get an alignment because the camber on my rear passenger is getting ridiculous and I'm really hoping there's no underlying suspension damage fuck. Upside: I got to bring out the disappointed mom voice on drivers today and watch 40yo assholes melt into small children instantly lmao>>78238331Me asf when special ed gets on the radio. I can almost feel the spit on my face whenever he talks
jumphbumpbumvg
Good meowrning everybody Hopefully you are are doing okay ^^Today's very hot and it'll be a busy day but I'll be nice
>>78239764Reminder to hydrate and get a fuckload of salts into you if you're outside and sweating. If you're not pissing, you need more fluids!
>>78239764Good meowrning catto! Hope you have a nice day too! Any plans to beat the weather?
I've never been one to believe in self diagnosis, reading symptoms lists online was always like "yeah I suppose I fall onto some of those" and never gave it much thought but I read on Schizotypal BPD and... oh...I really really wouldn't wanna go to a mental health professional right now out of fear of being diagnosed with that
midday bump, keeping the ball rolling
>>78241224Why does being diagnosed make you afraid? I'm diagnosed with schizophrenia and it doesn't affect anything in my life other than my mental health team's medical treatment. I hear a lot about people saying they'll get denied a job or place of living, but unless you live in a shithole country, medical privacy laws prevent anyone but your current active medical providers from knowing your medical information.
>>78242037It's more of a me thing, I don't want to be told there is something fundamentally wrong with me. I'm afraid therapy/medication will also change me fundamentally as a person. To answer the simple question "are we flesh or are we blood?" am I a sum of different mental issues? were there still be a human being under all of them?scary prospect due to my weird beliefs basically
I'd like to add, everyone is always venting about people with BPD and how horrible they are and the pain they cause on others. What would that make me if I actually had it? Just the thought of it makes me dread it oh so very very much I don't want it I don't want it at all
Hey foks.I'm gonna ditch that song I was planning on composing.I'm thinking about composing a song about FF7's Cid. He's such a cool character.Anyway, how you folks doing today?
>>78242507And, of course, I forgot to include the name
>>78242085Ah. I guess as far as I see it, whether or not you're diagnosed, you still have whatever condition you have. A diagnosis doesn't change anything, just clears things up a bit. One of my close online friends is a guy with BPD, he's been seeming to feel a lot better since starting his first official course for BPD a few months ago. He definitely has his ranting venting meltdowns much less. I think the class is called DBT but I'm unsure what it stands for.I dunno, when I was undiagnosed I was desperate for an answer to what treatment or option might alleviate my suffering.
>>78242680Huh, you actually make a lot of sense now, I guess at least I could put a name on whatever I have if I get it diagnosed. The story about your friend getting better is actually pretty motivating, that only leaves my fear of medication but I mean, if I put an effort in therapy maybe I can skip those >I dunno, when I was undiagnosed I was desperate for an answer to what treatment or option might alleviate my suffering.I'm glad you could find an answer to your ails, and nowadays that you know what you suffer from does that help? sincerely curiosityI've been trying to get an appointment with a therapist since February but there are no open spaces, will have to look for another one
>>78242848>nowadays that you know what you suffer from, does that help?Absolutely. The medicine prevents me from ever experiencing psychosis the way I did before, but also doesn't just "switch off" symptoms like I'm magically a normie now. Some people seem to believe they do, they just control the symptoms somewhat and clear your cognitive difficulties so you can process and think clearly.>fears of medicationYeah, my buddy doesn't take any psych meds, I think DBT can work without meds. I don't think BPD has any medications that work, it's not that type of illness.
is there anyone here that's not lgbt?
>>78238332hope you slept well. >if I accidently hurt someone I'll feel terrible we all do, but it's hard to avoid.>Yeah I won't.(^-^)>>78239764hey catbro! :D how's it going? >>78239852good advice. >>78240304hey napanon! you doing well? >>78241224>reading symptoms lists online was always like "yeah I suppose I fall onto some of those"these list are always so broad and universal it'd be easier to list what you don't have...>>78242507hey sakamoto! >I'm thinking about composing a song about FF7's Cid. He's such a cool character.i've never been a final fantasy guy, so i don't know anything about him. guess i have to look him up now. have fun working on that song, though. :> >Anyway, how you folks doing today?little better than last week, that's for sure. it's not as hot anymore. hope it stays that way. other than that, i'm ok. not much going on. you?>>78242919does it matter?
>>78243112>does it matter?i am curious to knowof course you do not have to say but if you don't say i will assume you are
>>78242905Well shit anon, you are really selling me a tough bargain. Were I to keep postponing going to a professional now that would entirely be on me.Thank you, I wholeheartedly mean it. Will definitely look into getting professional help, thank you again, for real.>>78243112>hey napanon! you doing well?Yua! Yua!!! I've been wanting to talk to you for a while now :DFinally caught up to date with Kuroshitsuji (the anime, haven't touched the manga), Book of Circus was literally unironically 100% peak fiction. Little sister told me Season 2 was non-canon dogshit (her words) so I didn't even bother after giving a chance after watching the first episode and confirming it was indeed pure assThe Book of Murder OVAs were super fun and the Book of the Atlantic Movie was SOOOO FREAKING GOOOOOOODand then Public School Arc completely dropped the bag, literally in shambles at how ass it was. like it's not offensively bad but it seriously killed my buzz after having such a good run since Book of Circus ahhhhhhh finally, I had to let it out. You should really really really totally give Book of Circus a watch c:Besides that, how have you been?
>>78243129assume all you want.>>78243218>I've been wanting to talk to you for a while now :Dalways a good day when we have the opportunity. :> i have to say that i wasn't capable of actually holding a conversation the last couple of days. it was just too hot... (^_^;)>Book of Circus was literally unironically 100% peak fiction.nice :D >Little sister told me Season 2 was non-canon dogshit (her words) so I didn't even bother after giving a chance after watching the first episode and confirming it was indeed pure assi see she knows what she's talking about. ^^ honestly, i remember really liking the first season but not caring much for the second. it's been a while, though. >Public School Arc completely dropped the bag, literally in shambles at how ass it was.honestly, i always tune out mentally when it's "back to school" in anime. it might fit in this particular one, but they manage even when the shows have the most outlandish of plots and settings. how completely mindbroken can you be when decades after leaving that shit behind all your thoughts revolve around schools and tests? anyway, thanks for coming to my pet-peeve-talk. sucks the arc wasn't good. :/>it seriously killed my buzz after having such a good run since Book of Circus i know how that feels. i wanted to get back into the show, but the streaming service has just the new season and nothing else, so that was a bummer right out of the gate... (-_-;) amazon might have tbe rest hidden behind one of their channels. i have to look it up. >ahhhhhhh finally, I had to let it out. You should really really really totally give Book of Circus a watch c:will do. at some point. please keep reminding me. i'm easily deterred when i can't comfortably consume something these days. :/by the way, have you and your sister read hikaru ga shinda natsu? it's been one of my favorite ongoings thus far.
>>78243218>how have you been?reasonably well. still coughing a bit here and there, but other than that i've been alright. not much going on the last couple of days. got myself enough motivation to go out for some exercise, though. so that's nice. what about you, friend?
>>78243591Ah don't worry Yua, I was also super dejected so I wasn't able to hold conversations so I tried not to engage much as not to make anyone feel bad or like I was ignoring them>"back to school"don't get me started, Public School Arc also has an all powerful school council that the government can't touch and I swear I groaned sooooo loudly after they introduced them :/Kuroshitsuji is a great mystery anime and after the previous arcs having such intriguing and serious plots having a school arc was such a draaaaaag, it never picked up and the revelations towards the main plot were soooo lame. trust me, it doesn't fit at allllllhonestly it's not that I'm done with highschool settings, but stories about highschool power dynamics are soooooo overplayed, get that shit off my murder mystery child trafficking borderline horror manga please I'm begging >streaming servicesIs your country strict on torrenting?? I could share some high quality torrent with you if you want c: the canon ovas were specially challenging to get>please keep reminding me. i'm easily deterred when i can't comfortably consume something these days. :/Will do! I'll even keep count to be that much of a pest lololol>by the way, have you and your sister read hikaru ga shinda natsu? it's been one of my favorite ongoings thus far.it looks very good from the premise alone :0 my sister doesn't read much manga but maybe wifey would like to read it with me, thanks for the recommendation Yua :D
>>78240304Hi hi hii :D>Hope you have a nice day too! thank yuo!!>Any plans to beat the weather?hm not really I just drink lots of water How was your today?>>78242173>would that make me if I actually had it?well you're not horrible andd you don't cause any pain :>>everyone is always venting about people with BPDmaybe they're just saying the other person has bpd even if they don't have it just because of the stereotype >>78242507Hii sakaheloo :>>how you folks doing today?it was okay and I did some nice progress on my map and figured some stuff out >>78243112Helo helloo yuanon :Dhow r u ??>how's it going?goodI worked on my map and figured out some tricky geometry
Hey everyone, I hope everyone is doing well. I wasn't gonna post but tomorrow I'm gonna be very busy so I won't be able to post them.>>78243112>hope you slept well.I did thanks.
>>78244237Hello Ali :3 How's it going???It's nice to see you today ^^what are you going to be busy with
>>78244053>I was also super dejected so I wasn't able to hold conversationglad you feel better now. threads definitely better when you're around. ^^ >I groaned sooooo loudly after they introduced them :/i feel your pain. >it's not that I'm done with highschool settings, but stories about highschool power dynamics are soooooo overplayed, get that shit off my murder mystery child trafficking borderline horror manga please I'm beggingthat's what i mean. i've had an absolute blast with kieta hatsukoi. haven't laughed so much in a long time, but it's just a super weenie hut jr's romance manga with minimal drama and stupid faces on top. just a fun read. i can't stand it when the whole plot of a series comes to a grinding halt because now we have the school arc editorial demanded, because this is a manga/anime and we have those. (-_-)>Is your country strict on torrenting?? I could share some high quality torrent with you if you wantnot more than other places, but i don't care much for pirating these days. i just feel if it's not worth paying for it's also not worth my time, but in this case it might be different because i just don't have access to it. still, i'd rather watch it on my tv than on my phone if i can. maybe i can get hold of the german blu rays somehow. the show was quite popular here. >Will do! I'll even keep count to be that much of a pest lolololthanks. i appreciate it. i bothered people with hikaru a lot, so i try to keep it down a bit. ^^>it looks very good from the premise alone :0 my sister doesn't read much manga but maybe wifey would like to read it with me, thanks for the recommendation Yua :Dhope you like it. :> there might be an anime at some point, but there's only been for volumes thus far, so it might take while. there's some pv's with different voice actors, so maybe they're testing the waters. fingers crossed.
>>78244060>how r u ??i'm good. :> little tired, work was stressful, customers unreasonable. same old, same old, but nothing major. just watching some stream. just glad i got my trusty fan to help me through the night.>I worked on my map and figured out some tricky geometryis there any other form of geometry? good you showed that geometry who's boss, though. what was the problem? >>78244237hi gator! :D >I wasn't gonna post but tomorrow I'm gonna be very busy so I won't be able to post them.thanks for stopping by, then! always a good day when you do. as catbro already asked: what's going to keep you busy?
>>78244263>Hello Ali :3Hey cat :D>How's it going???Pretty bad, I've been thinking to much.>It's nice to see you today ^^That makes me happy to hear that :)>what are you going to be busy withI'm going to the dentist I think for a root canal but I don't know.How are you doing?>>78244529>hi gator! :DHello yuanon :p>always a good day when you do.That's very kind of you. Makes me happy.>what's going to keep you busy?I'm going to the dentist, probably for a rood canal
>>78244556>That's very kind of you. Makes me happy.just telling you how it is.>I'm going to the dentist, probably for a rood canali'll be rooting for you. ;D
>>78244529>little tired, work was stressful,oh man well at least you're used to it I suppose z right?>glad i got my trusty fanyupI do to but it's hot still>there any other form of geometry?geometry in a level is like the layout or things and I'm recreating my aunt's place and I built a staircase and there's a room above it and it very kinda tricks to make it look right and make navigable without changing the room layout How's your evening? btw have u finished the elden ring thing?>>78244556>Pretty bad, I've been thinking to much.oh my goodness :< wish I could help >makes me happy to hear that :)yay :]>think for a root canal but I don't know.ohI had a second too canal recently z it doesn't hurt, they might stick a needle in your guns for a sec but it's surprising painless and you can't even feel it, besides the whole procedure takes a bit if time so make sure your seat is comfortable, if it's not tell the dentist btw the seat in my dentist's is super comfy and last time I almost fell asleep, >>78244723I like this yua picsillyy XP
>>78227320>says who? if you really look at the world, it needs a whole lot more people that are nothing,Fair point let me correct myself, I cant Just do nothing, I cant be ok with rotting. I mean that when you take doing drugs away my daily life is Just boring rotting and i cant be ok with that. So if i dont do drugs then i rot. Cant Just rot so i do drugsI know that the solution is to find meaning and beauty in the small pleasures but i am unable to, even at a themepark, a place specifically desginened to have fun at, I am Just unable to have fun and live in the moment. With my glasses on everythings boring everythings frustrating everything is hard with little to no reward. Daily life is a endurance test for me>>78238332>really hope your okay.Was Just fucked up, prolly not a good idea to mix unmeasured amounts of Dissos and opoids but whatever.First time in my life snorting something suprisingly, was MXP a rc disso and the most bland and boring disso ive ever tried.Dmxe opce 2fdck are like fruit Juice or ice cold soda and MXP was Just plan tap water. Just bare dissociatation, bit of body numbness very clear headspace. Probably because i was snorting it instead of orally which everyone suggests is better but its easier to eyeball it that way, also the act of doing lines is fun.Combined with a little odsmt and nicotine and it felt allright, soft floaty melechonic comfy, better then being sober. on its own though worst rc disso ive tried. Gonna repeat it again friday, maybe take some orally this time. Too bad even a little odsmt makes me unable to fall asleep at all. But i felt rested enough. Again beats being sober in my bed alone.Stached away all my pills, those im keeping my hands of for a while, powders (odsmt, mxp) are free game until they are empty, wil use that to quench the thirst, the need for nowGodamn im a lowlife
>>78244887To clarify>With my glassesLike when People say rose collored glassesI have Sludge collored glasses
>>78244723>just telling you how it is.Aww thanks, it's always nice talking to you.>i'll be rooting for you. ;DThat made me laugh, thanks. Your a funny guy.>>78244885>wish I could helpThat's very kind of you, it would be awesome if you could help. I just need to stop thinking.>had a second too canal recently z it doesn't hurtOkay it's nice to know it doesn't hurt, I'm still a little scared.>might stick a needle in your guns for a sec but it's surprising painless and you can't even feel itThat's good that it's painless but it sounds like it would feel weird, anything going into the gums sounds like it would feel very weird.>takes a bit if time so make sure your seat is comfortableOkay I'll try to, I'm usually pretty good at dealing with uncomfortable chairs as stuff.>if it's not tell the dentistOkay. I'm a very anxious person but I'll try to.>super comfy and last time I almost fell asleep,That's really good then. >>78244887>prolly not a good idea to mix unmeasured amounts of Dissos and opoidsI don't know anything about medicine or drugs so I'm really glad to know your alright. i like talking to you, your a cool person.
My gf ran off to drink again, she made me cry last night for being a neet loser leeching off her disability money. I'm about to inherit money soon but she wants me to step up and get a job. Whenever she runs off all stressed out and drunk, she gets blacked out and cheats on me. But she says she got taken advantage ofShe makes me want to cut my fucking artery and bleed everywhere i front of her. Wat do?I'm not gonna hurt myself today but I really want to stop considering it.
>>78244885>well at least you're used to it I suppose z right?sure. can't say i care much at this point. if that's how my boss wants to run his business into the ground, that's his decision. >I do to but it's hot stillit had to get hot at some point, i suppose. i prefer it this way over the constant rain. it was a bit much over the last few month. ^^ >there's a room above it and it very kinda tricks to make it look right and make navigable without changing the room layout you'd think it'd be easy since the place actually exists and you're recreating it in 3d, but i guess it's not that straight forward when you have to consider gameplay and such. >btw have u finished the elden ring thing?no. it's just the endboss of the dlc, but i can't be bothered. story annoyed me so much i don't even want to finish it at this point. don't know if i want to play fromsoft games going forward. we'll see when they announce the next one. >I like this yua picsillyy XPit's one of my favorites as well. :> >>78244887>Just boring rotting and i cant be ok with that.honestly, that's just what i usually do between job and workouts. not much else to care about, so i don't. >So if i dont do drugs then i rot. Cant Just rot so i do drugsyou can justify it that way. >the solution is to find meaning and beauty in the small pleasures but i am unable toi can't blame you. took me well into my 30s until anything of that made any sense. hope you'll see it earlier than i did. >With my glasses on everythings boring everythings frustrating everything is hard with little to no reward. Daily life is a endurance test for meword. still, hope you pass that test. :>>>78244987>it's always nice talking to you.<3>That made me laugh, thanks. Your a funny guy.i've got my moments. (^-^)
>>78244993seems like quite the volatile mix you got there. always hard to give good advice for situations like that. you could try to hold out until you got your inheritance and see if it improves, but, honestly, stuff like cheating isn't something i could deal with. getting a job would be a good idea, even if it is a small one and even if you might not need it later on. just helps a lot mentally. in the end it might be best if you'd consider breaking up with her. she might not have the best influence on yiu. up to you, though. you know your relationship with her better than i do. glad to hear you won't hurt yourself, though. i'm proud of you. guess it's time for bed now. good night, everyone!
I'm gonna sleep I'm sleepy already which is nice because falling asleep at 4am gets boring Goodnight!>>78244987>still a little scared.that's okay but you're going to be okay fren ^^>>78245367>exists and you're recreating it in 3d,I thought so too but ig the way 3d space in game looks kinda different because of fov it's very wide but not tall and it's ok a 2d screen, I kinda wish I had VR to look at my maps and to get propper scale>>78244993sounds sadhonestly to me it sounds like being with her is not a good idea >>78239852I forget to respond to uThank you anon ^^ >saltsthay help?I like salty food so good fpr me ig
>>78244993I've never been in a relationship so I can't really give Any advice, but I'm happy to know your not gonna hurt yourself.>>78245367>i've got my moments. (^-^)You really do.>>78245434>good night, everyone!Good night yuanon>>78245614>I'm gonna sleepI hope you sleep well >but you're going to be okay fren ^^I hope so, I'm also scared of them seeing my scars :/
>>78242919Reminder anababbabavaavxo
>>78244993"She says she got taken advantage of". Bullshit. Sorry to bring it to you, but you are better off without her and she is toxic and manipulative.If she really loves you, she would never even consider cheating on you. If I'd love a guy, there wouldn't even be a THOUGHT of doing that, and I know every decent girl wouldn't either, unless she has some deep rooted issues that is just going to bring toxicity to you and will make your life miserable. Get out while you still can.My honest opinion, ditch her. Might be hard, but the sooner the better. Get a job if you can manage to do that. Whatever job it is, it will help you. It helps you mentally and will help you getting social skills (and of course getting out helps a lot too).
Numbering g rjwjs
>>78233911went to work today. i was really slow and was making a ton of mistakes, probably to my supervisors' dismay. i was going to cut myself tonight as punishment but decided not to. im not sure why. hopefully tomorrow goes better.
I'm like halfway to getting shitfaced, slashing these wrists and calling 911 to see what happens. I can't with this shit anymore
Stay in up late bumping dead threads
Do we fw this? Origamishwve
>>78249227what does fw mean
goodmorning and helo everyone :3How are you today?>>78248083Hi anonThat's a bad idea, it's not difficult to predict what's going to happen and it's just make your lifen much worse>can't with this shit anymorewhat do you mean anon?>>78249227what? a tattoo?yeah tattoos are okay
>>78180083>Cutters General #378you guys aren't very good at this, are you?
>>78249383Fuck with, do we fuck with this lol>>78249655More specifically the funky hello kitty shit, you see it all over Twitter and it's kinda goofy like this Cinnamaroll Miata >>78249665There's a reason the medical term is Non-Suicidal Self Injury, it's not really a way to kill yourself but a way to get your broken brain to shut the fuck up
>>78249740>funky hello kitty shit,I don't have anything against is if someone likes it it's okay in my opinion >Cinnamaroll MiataI like it I like funky car paint jobs and mods I just got an idea, buying toy replicas of those cars and giving them your own funky panit job or maybe replicating one from the internet sounds fun
Well folks, it's roughly 7:00am. I didn't sleep, and I'm dead drunk.Gonna give my usual announcement: I'll die without ever feeling the love of a woman, I'm a miserable cigarette-stinking-alcohol-breath fucker who is going to hell. I'm not in the state of grace,Edit: It's past 9:00am. But nothing's changed besides the fact that I'm a maindenless bastard who'll never be loved by a woman. Now I'm smoking me Marlboro reds to the sound of some good space folk songs. I'll never feel the love of a woman. If you'll excuse me, i'll take a piss a go to sleep
>>78249655You are breedable and submissive.
i feel like every time i make a mistake i should cut myself but most times its out of my control. i dont want to die any less though..
Where is feminine Chroma?
>>78185163No you will always be a femboy.
>>78250586I hope you sleep well. I usually sleep like shit when I drink.>>78250872Why do you feel this way? Is it a "punishment" that you feel you deserve for making mistakes? This sounds like continuing on abuse that someone heaped upon you, like you believe you deserve to be abused for mistakes.
>>78251048i really do believe that. I feel like i should be punished somehow even things i cant control i want to hurt myself because it must be my fault
>>78251579This generally comes from being abused at a young age, anon. You've been brainwashed into now continuing that abuse on yourself. Why would hurting someone when they made a mistake help them learn? Wouldn't kindly pointing out the mistake and helping them find ways to avoid making it in the future be the best thing to do? Would you cut another person who made a mistake? Would you take a razor to slice a friend's skin open until they bled, with the intention of punishment?
>>78250478Actually painting up cars is kinda fun, my sister does it with weird lil hot wheels all the time. Here's some goofy thing she made me for Christmas one year of my car :3imgur com a/WtjF0To>>78250586You'll find her, but next time you're drinking you should blast some Great Big Sea and channel your inner Newfie. Idk it's amazing mood lifers for when shit gets heavy and pairs great with dark liquors.>>78250872The limiting factor for me is usually who's around. I can't pull blades out at work or anything. I know it's a cope but I should kill myself or I should cut my body up is not the best first plan of action >.>
>>78251621i dont think others should be punished that way. i think its just me i should do that to. im not sure what the right thing is though>>78252133i try not to cut anymore but there are few days i dont think that i should..
>>78252331Maybe examine where this comes from. Who taught you that you have less inherent value/rights than someone else? Because you obviously think so if you believe others shouldn't be punished the way you punish yourself, you believe they have a right to not be harmed for their mistakes, but that same right doesn't extend to you.
>>78252331No you don't deserve to be punished you cutesely little twink :3
>>78252331Guilt based raising is really a bitch, idk if you can relate to this but I've resorted to self harm because even if an issue is fixed I still think "I haven't suffered enough" Good morning btw Mr. Galax
>>78252712Counterpoint: all twinks deserve to be punished
>>78252396the only thing i could think is my parents. but i dont think im worth as much as others>>78252712-_->>78252877this is true for me as well. i still think i havent suffered enough for past guilts even years later..
>>78253237I would assume your parents could easily do that sort of damage, yes. It's usually parents in the case of this sort of decreased self-worth.Have you ever heard of this book? It helped me a lot.
>>78253237I relate so hard with that, somehow I think that if I stop punishing myself I'll be a bad person. as that anon said it's probably a byproduct of abuse during early childhood. regardless I try to hold myself at the same standard I hold other people to: every time I tell someone they shouldn't be so hard of themselves I say it to myself in a wayit doesn't work most of the time but I appreciate it when it does. you should try it too
>>78253259i havent seen it no..>>78253293i have that feeling too. like if i stop hurting myself like this i will be a bad person. like i dont get what i deserve. i cant stand myself to feel happy for long..
>>78253518It's available for free online: https://archive.org/details/isbn_9780553381405 I recommend it to anyone with parents that harmed them emotionally, physically, or sexually. It was part of my journey to overcoming my pain.
>>78253559>https://archive.org/details/isbn_9780553381405My bad friend, I had pasted an earlier ctrl+c, I meant this one: https://www.anima-noira.cz/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/TOXIC-PARENTS.pdf it's on some weird foreign site, but it's the book.
>>78253237I want to snuggle with you :)
>>78253559okay ill take a look>>78253838i like snuggles
>>78253976And I like you baby girl. I'd love to spoon with you :)
>>78254085im not a girl.. plus im taken
hey everyone! how's it going? i'm tired. :D
>>78254190>I'm not a girl. I knew that.>plus I'm takenYour boyfriend must love you so much.
A brand new day and people still hate me.I'll never have a gf
>>78254913hey saka! we don't and never say never! (^-^)
>>78242919the results are ineveryone here is a queer, especially the namefags
oh noo D;imange limit reached!>>78250586Hi sakahope you get better :c >>78250659no and no>>78250872Heyo galaxy >its out of my control. i dont want to die any less though..sounds pretty bad :< >>78252133omg that's so cutee!!tell your sis she's talented :D>>78254370Hiya yuanon what's up??>tired. :Dwhy so happy?get lost of sleep tonight :>
>>78254942Hey yuanon. I'm not talking nonsense. People do hate me, specially woman.>>78255014I'm bisexual, unfortunately. But my attraction to men is not significant and it's of a very low order of magnitude.Having said that, I hope you choke on someone's diarrhea you fucker.>>78255032I won't.
>>78255032hey catbro! >what's up??not much. day's over and i'm pretty much done with it. how was your day?>why so happy?just glad to be home and posting. :> >get lost of sleep tonight :>will do. or at least i'll try. it's tough with the moon shining so bright. >>78255098not saying you are, but here is your safe space where you don't need to think about that crap.
>>78254913You can be femboy instead.
>>78255032it can be honestly. i hate myself a lot and i deserve the hurt and pain..
Hey everyone. First Root canal done.It was cool I didn't even think I was gonna do it, but when we got there the doctor wasn't busy so he just did it.The place I went to was uk(university of Kentucky) it was my first time there and it was really cool. It was way nicer then I thought a dentist place would be. I hate seeing kids, it makes me sad because I never was carefree or anything.And it was also my first time in Lexington which is a city. And I loved it, it was Soo nice! We only walked like 5 minutes to the car to the uk, but it was so nice. It makes me hate America a little less
>>78255687hey gal. don't listen to yourself when you're in a mood like that. :<>>78255744hey gator! glad you had a good time. (^-^)>>78255803what are you up to? working on that song?
>>78255251>day's over and i'm pretty much done with it. nice :Dhave a nice rest >how was your day?it went welllots of mapping and I'm doing good progress :3 >glad to be home and posting. :>ohI'm happy you're home too :D >it's tough with the moon shining so bright.maybe you could hang a towel or something on your window to block it?>>78255687>deserve the hurt and pain..untrue you deserve love and hugs :3>>78255744Hey Ali :D>First Root canal doneyou got anymore coming?>It was coolyay>was my first time there and it was really coolsounds nice >first time in Lexington which is a city. And I loved it, itawww maybe you could go on trips an visit cities one day
>>78256077>have a nice rest thanks. i just went to bed, so don't be surprised when i don't respond anymore. ^^ >lots of mapping and I'm doing good progress :3 nice. what did you achieve today? >I'm happy you're home too :D you and me both, buddy. :> >maybe you could hang a towel or something on your window to block it?i have the shutters down, but not completely so i notice when the sun is up. i'd never wake up otherwise... moon was a bit annoying the last couple of days, but tonight it's back to normal.
>>78256023>hey gatorHey yuanon :)>glad you had a good time. (^-^)It was nice. My face is still very numb though.>>78256077>Hey Ali :DHey cat!>you got anymore coming?Yeah :/ on August 8th.>sounds niceYeah it was really clean. It will probably be my only ever time in a university.>awww maybe you could go on trips an visit cities one dayMaybe one day but my parents never travel, so I'll have to travel alone, and when I can do that it will probably be in like 10 years.
>>78256292>It was nice. My face is still very numb though.my mother had some stuff done as well recently and she had the same problem. a small procedure, but they didn't skimp on anestetics. ^^ i'm lucky i don't really have any dental issues... hope it stays that way. fingers crossed.
>accidentally cut myself>anxiety and stress through the roof seeing my blood leaking out from the cut>awful painwhy would you do this to yourself willingly
>>78256289>don't be surprised when i don't respond anymore. ^^okay :>>what did you achieve today?working on the first floor hmm btw do you have a pc or a laptop ir something??>never wake upI seedo alarms not work on you?>>78256292>on August 8th.well at least you know it's not that bad and you'll visit a new place again :D>can do that it will probably be in like 10 years.well who knows maybe it'll happen sooner >>78256483because it's a good distraction, you don't think about things that sucks about you life when all you can focus on is the wound
>>78256382>a small procedure, but they didn't skimp on anestetics.It's always good when they give a lot of anesthesia so you feel no pain at all, and even for hours after.>i'm lucky i don't really have any dental issues.That's really good. I really neglected my teeth when I was younger. >hope it stays that way. fingers crossed.Yeah hopefully, just make sure you take care of your teeth.>>78256483I do it because I hate myself.>>78256558>well at least you know it's not that badYeah I thought it would be way more scary but it was pretty relaxing.>maybe it'll happen soonerI'm not a very optimistic person. I just feel like I'll probably have to get GED then I'll have to get a job, just feels like everything will take forever in my life. And even if I do, do it with my parents I'll never feel free to do what I want.
How do some of you manage to be so positive and kind all the time? Well, I know it's not "all the time", obviously, but I'm so used to hatred, negativity and bad thoughts that just the fact alone of seeing people being so nice to each other on a place like this warms my heart in a really weird way. I don't think I explained myself very well, but I'm just glad to know that even people that suffer as much as I do can have a bit of hope and compassion in them. I just hope we can all get better someday
>>78255803You can obviously not get the girlfriend, So you need to become the girlfriend.
things are going suspiciously wellwrestling in the water is kinda fun, especially knowing they have no chance of taking me down loli suspect im going to get bitten tomorrow but its nothingunrelated but i have to find a way to be less of a fucking issue to my friends, one tried to make it clear to me that im doing osmething wrong but i genuenly have no idea what it is even after he explained it to meso now i have to troubleshoot and see what the fuck is wrongbasically bend myself in odd shapes to fit inwhich i absoloutely hate but without them im fucking lost so whatever igsorry for not replying but ive been kinda busyand have lost track of threads and stuff>>78256647>How do some of you manage to be so positive and kind all the time?i know how easy it is to have my mood drop below the fucking floor by the smallest inconvinience so i try to make sure when i can i dont accidentally do it to othersof course sometimes when in a shitty mood its differentb ut oh wellalso as kindness breeds kindness so can happiness
>>78256558>hmm btw do you have a pc or a laptop ir something??i do have access to a laptop, but i don't own one or a pc myself. the little gaming i do doesn't really justify the cost of getting one. :/ why? >do alarms not work on you?they do. atm, i have the later shifts, so i don't really nees one right now. >>78256641>It's always good when they give a lot of anesthesia so you feel no pain at all, and even for hours after.true, but it can be a bit annyoing if you have a hard time eating or talking. >I really neglected my teeth when I was younger. honestly, dental issues are rooted in malnutrition most of the time. if your body gets the right stuff your teeth can manage. i'd also advise against toothpaste with fluoride in them. doesn't seem to do them any good. >Yeah hopefully, just make sure you take care of your teeth.haven't had an appointment to get them checked in a long time. i really should get one. >>78256647hey anon! don't worry. we get you. there's times when it's easier and there's times when i barely hold it together. >I'm so used to hatred, negativity and bad thoughtsi can only speak for myself, but i realized how pointless and optional to existence this stuff really is. it usually revolves around completely made up nonsense anyway. don't get me wrong, i can rant about stuff all day, but it doesn't really lead anywhere, does it?you might find people here you disagree with on some level, but as long as you understand that that's just how we try to cope with it all, it kinda loses it's importance. some simple human decency in the way we treat each other goes a long way. i think what i'm trying to say is: glad you found your way here, friend. >>78256892hey sis! good to see you're having a good time, but what's that issue you're talking about? can you share what your friend told you? maybe we can figure it out together. maybe not tonight, though. i'm really tired and i'll call it a day here. good night everyone! see you soon!
>>78256023Just chillin' and watching Star Trek. Gonna work on the song later. What about you yuanon?>>78256857Quite a piece of wisdom you got there.But I'm too ugly and masculine. And I'm brown.
Going to sleep I'm vrery slepy Goodnight friendsI cant use pics wo have rhis :3 `/\__/\`(=~.~=) ...zzzZZZZZZ``('') ('')__/``>>78256647Helo anon :>>people being so nice to each other on a place like this warms my heart that's very sweet I hope you have a nice day anon ^^ Watcha struggling with?>>78256892Heyo>>78256954>why?I thought I could send you some maps when I finish themand to play them you don't even need to buy hl2 you can download the hl2 demo on steam I think I'll test it tomorrow
>>78256954>what's that issue you're talking about?i have no fuckign cluei didnt understand what he was talking about that muchin summary he told me to "pull your own weight" as they have really helped me (which is true but i have no idea what the fuck happened, they just spawned and all was better suddenly) and have gotten tired of my attitude (for something ???)told me to stop being weird and to put my shit on a fucking line but the "weird" shit is stuff that i just cant understand how they are affecting them but hwatever i will just keep my mouth shut ighe keeps insisting i have bpd, and brought it up, so i tell him "fucking sorry its not like i fucking do it on purpose or control it" and he otld me "ik you dont do it on purpose but you can fucking control it"which fuck you no i literally dont know whats wrong how do i even control ittold me in a scolding tone, i felt, that they got too involved with my shit and its tiringour convo in a really short summary but i understoud literally fucking nothing except "be less weird" and "fix your shit"which i take as "keep your mouth shut" and "guess whats wrong and go fix it"first i can do whatever i iwll just troubleshoot what the fuck it is that they find weird (make a social filter) and keep at it but i have literally no idea where to even begin with the second one as i dont know where the issue is like searching for the way cockroaches got into your house when literally all of it is covered in them, you will never find it until you kill all of themanyway good night yuanon, i hope you have a restful nightalso that i wont miss any replies if at all again>>78257080>But I'm too ugly and masculinesame>And I'm browndo brown women not exist?>>78257155heya catgood night my freni hope stuff is going on for you
>>78256892>things are going suspiciously wellI'm happy things are well for you :)>wrestling in the water is kinda funOoo that's cool.>especially knowing they have no chance of taking me down lolYeah it's even more fun when your the best >>78256954>but it can be a bit annyoing if you have a hard time eating or talking.Yeah that's true, eating becomes very annoying even hours after. I don't talk much so it's not a problem for me.>dental issues are rooted in malnutrition most of the time.Oh I did not know that. I do live a pretty unhealthy lifestyle.>i'd also advise against toothpaste with fluoride in them.Okay thanks, I'll definitely avoid those then.>i really should get one.Yeah you probably should it will be good for you.>>78257155Good night cat.
>>78257278hru gatorsry there is os many replies in the thread its kinda hard ot check them again to see what youve said>Yeah it's even more fun when your the besti mean it gets kinda boringas i have literally all the advantages >3-4 years older than all of them>tallest>strongest(although a fren who does kickboxing is probably the samelevel as me)(still doesnt matterb ecause the point isnt to hit the other one hard its to take them down)>heaviest (more stable and sturdy base hard to take down, im not fat)its kinda unfair for them lolbut its all fun and games so why does it matterin a few years once they have grown fully if we still play this game then it will be fair game for everyone but there is still lots of time until thati wonder how things will go tomorrow or generally the rest of my time here
>>78256892>so i try to make sure when i can i dont accidentally do it to othersThat's very nice of you, anon. I hope all goes well with you and your friends!>>78256954>i can only speak for myself, but i realized how pointless and optional to existence this stuff really isI get what you mean, but, at the same time, I can't help but dwell on bad things, and I really wish I could care less about them. I hate knowing about all the injustices around me and all the symptoms of our societal decline. I feel like the world, as well as my country, are going to shit by every metric imaginable, and it's hard to ignore that, not to mention all my own problems I already have and will have>glad you found your way here, friendThank you! I didn't expect this place to be this friendly>>78257155>I hope you have a nice dayThanks! I appreciate that. I hope you have a nice day as well>Watcha struggling with?I just feel like everything in my life is terrible. I feel useless and stupid, I'm sad all the time, and I'm also extremely lonely. It's the usual stuff, I guess
>>78255098>woman hate meoh sakamoto please don't start taking that incel koolaid I beg you, I IMPLORE you.
>>78255098>nothing to say but an insultmaybe you should work on accepting yourself
>>78257433>hru gatorI'm alright.>sry there is os many replies in the thread its kinda hard ot check them again to see what youve saidThat's okay. I basically just got a root canal and went to a city for the first time. It was fun.>tallestOkay being tall is pretty cool, I'm also pretty tall.>although a fren who does kickboxing is probably the samelevel as meKickboxing sounds so hard to me.>but its all fun and games so why does it matterYeah your only playing for fun, there your friends not your opponents, so having fun is the most important thing.>then it will be fair game for everyone but there is still lots of time until thatOkay, you'll still probably have more experience with then them. But it will be cool when there is a challenge.>wonder how things will go tomorrow or generally the rest of my time hereThat's life I guess, you never know what's gonna happen tomorrow. But I hope tomorrow is good for you :)
tired, annoyed at war thunder, internet sucksgoing to sleep gn everyone :3>>78257680>root canalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai absoloutely hate any medical operations on teethwas terrified of having to remove my wisdom teeth (thankfully i wont have to)how was the city though?did you enjoy looking around? the architecture ig? the feeling of it?>Kickboxing sounds so hard to me.it is, i should start something ismilar too but im a lazy cunt>so having fun is the most important thinghaving fun is rule #1safety is #2>That's life I guess, you never know what's gonna happen tomorrow. But I hope tomorrow is good for you :)i guess youre rightkinda worries me but excites me at the same time loli hope your day will be good too :D
>>78257802>going to sleep gn everyone :3Goodnight Sisyphus.>i absoloutely hate any medical operations on teethThey are very scary, but if you have proper numbing it's okay.>was terrified of having to remove my wisdom teeth (thankfully i wont have to)It does seem like a scary thing to have done. Good thing you won't have to do it.>how was the city though?It was really nice, I loved it. But I was only there for like 5 minutes and that's only walking from the car to the dentist. i wish I could have explored it more.>did you enjoy looking around?I wish I could have looked around. And the city actually looks walkable which is awesome.>the architecture ig? the feeling of it?The architecture was pretty nice I guess, nothing to special but much better then out of the city. Being there did feel very nice.>i should start something ismilar too but im a lazy cuntIf you want to. I'm also very lazy but you can always just try something.>having fun is rule #1>safety is #2Safety is very important.>kinda worries me but excites me at the same time lolIt's normal to be worried about that. But don't be to worried it's gonna be okay, and being excited about the unknown is cool.>i hope your day will be good too :DThanks.
>>78256023i cant help it.. >>78256077i dont think i deserve that..
Man, it really dawned on me how crushingly boring of a person I've become. I don't do what used to be "my thing" anymore and all I've become is my jobam I going thru a midlife crisis in my mid 20s? lol