bard

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schorchies

Hello darlings
I don't browse /sp/ nor do I watch cricket
But I'm currently training to get a body like a cricketer by Summer (which I think is very achievable)
That is to say, I'm trying to get lean, and that's it, nothing else
Thank you for your time

>>144838893
by 'lean' do you mean 0-0.5% body fat and a total body weight of under 50kg?
have a chat to zachy when he gets here if you want some tips

>>144838925
You should go over to /cric/ their is a guy called zachy their who has a great physique very reminiscent of an afl player he'd be happy to share with you how he achieved his physique

>>144838892
MY scorchies

who's playing on boxing day then

hopefully no one? it's a public holiday

i said playing not working

>>144839034
nzer's have comprehension issues due to poor genetics and education
notice how all nzer's have that curly dark hair phenotype?

>>144839038
no but Steven May

don't recall saying anything about working

he doesn't know what the word holiday means
this is what i'm talking about with their education

Not bouldering later
Been last two days and Ive got a fucked toe

didn't ask

bouldering now
haven't been last two days and ive got to fuck a reddit hoe

Zachy "midwit" bowen

seems Daniel shares my autistic interest in the norn language

Pewee 'gay obsessive' Nonce

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I foresee quite the battle occurring during the indian tour of australia and i'm not talking about the teams.

yeah the battle of me trying resist the urge to head out west and pick up hot indian milfs at local pubs

>>144839186
We're Full, sorry mate.

>>144839193
i'll fill your milfs with my BWC champ

/cric/ would improve beyond measure if only posts in Norn were allowed

getting on the Belgians later

>Norn
meant Old Norse

>>144839215
for me it's sheppeys autumn gold designer cider

oh wait that's henneys
Names far too similar

I literally can’t do it anymore bros
I can’t toil anymore
40 years of this I can’t fucking do it
Ffs

>>144839257
Get back to the hustle boy
Those KPIs are there for govm0pvdod

it'll say "here lies ol toothpick arms, he never made it past v4". grim

it will say ''here lies ol bingo wings, never made it past six pull ups or away from his beloved laptop''..grim

How long will this dire gimmick go on for it's not even remotely interesting at this point

his laptop will be buried next to him

if it wasn't remotely thumbing one's laptop wasn't interesting it wouldn't be called remote work

>>144839325
which one?

>>144839338
/cric/ threads

Zachy Bowel

just woke up
can’t complain about toil when you wfh

reckon you can when you live in a mine retard

don’t live in a mine then

>then let them eat cake
trip on queen victoria

simply do not like the taste of cider

/cric/ a*glo shitters have been thoroughly mentally disintegrated by the Soul Limbo vocaroo they can no longer bring themselves to post dograpingly horrendous out of tune vocs so they blather on about other imaginary hobbies and "work" instead

cider i hardly know her

I'm in cider rn haha

>>144839470
what's his name

would only work with cidim, silly peewee

Hey gals!

I’m Chloe, 23 from Cardiff and have just accepted a job in London starting 1st November I’m looking for a spare room or likeminded girls to buddy up with to find a place together

A bit about me:
I graduated last year from Uni of Birmingham with a degree in Business Management with a Year in Industry
I’m starting a territory manager role in the pharmaceutical / med tech industry
I’ve just come back from 6 months of travelling around Australia and South East Asia and LOVE to travel!! (Will try to squeeze in as many city breaks as possible)
I loooooove music so I’m always up for a concert or festival!!
I have danced most of my life so would love to try open dance classes, Zumba, yoga, Pilates etc. I love to keep fit by going on runs / the gym
I’m a huge foodie and love going for brunch and dinner, having a takeaway in or attempting to make TikTok recipes!
I love a glass of wine, a catchup at the pub and of course the occasional boogie!!

I’d love to live with people that I can go explore London with on the weekends and I’m excited for wholesome movie nights and dinner parties together!! I’m super organised, clean and respectful of peoples space and time

In terms of location, I’m quite flexible. I’m interested in areas such as Finsbury Park, Primrose Hill, Shepherds Bush, Maida Vale, Notting Hill, St Johns Wood, Fulham, Vauxhall, Balham, Clapham, Battersea and Tooting - but I’m also open to any other cool suggestions in surrounding areas such as East London.

I’m looking for a sublet between the months of mid October - end of Jan 2025

My ideal budget would be up to £1100 a month incl bills

Please drop me a message if you think we’d be a good fit! Or send me a DM on insta @chlolloyd8xx as I know sometimes fb messages can get lost in the requests!!

Just got a free entry to Taupo ultra marathon

Hi everyone!

I’m Laura, 28 from Manchester, and I’m moving to London for a new job starting 1st November. I’m looking for a room to rent or hoping to find some easy-going people to buddy up with for a flat share.

A bit about me:

• I studied Marketing at the University of Leeds and have been working in the industry for the past few years. So yes, I’ll probably be the one analysing ads during TV breaks.
• I’ll be starting a role as a Sales Manager in the tech industry, so I’ll be navigating the world of gadgets and software.
• I just came back from spending a few months exploring Europe – think lots of art galleries, history tours, and attempting to speak five different languages.
• I love art, so you’ll usually find me checking out local exhibitions or trying to draw things that don’t quite turn out as expected!
• Big fan of yoga, running, and pilates – though my love of cake usually balances out any fitness achievements.
• Food is life! I’m always looking for new restaurants, street food markets, and I’m not shy about experimenting in the kitchen (with mixed results).
• I’m equally up for a quiet night with Netflix or a catch-up over drinks at a quirky pub, but you can also count me in for a random night out if the mood strikes.

I’d love to live with housemates who enjoy discovering what London has to offer but are also happy to have some low-key evenings in with a movie or some home cooking. I’m clean, tidy, and laid-back when it comes to sharing space.

In terms of location, I’m flexible but have been looking at areas like Hackney, Bethnal Green, Islington, or nearby. My budget’s up to £1100 a month including bills, and I’m looking for something from mid-October to January 2025.

If you think we’d get along, feel free to drop me a message or find me on Instagram @laurajane_mcr. Looking forward to meeting some new faces!

haven't read a single post ITT

Zachy in his stalker phase browsing house share ads?

I've only read my own posts ITT and the replies to them

Penis

My last day in the UK for a while. Au revoir, /cricket/

https://voca.ro/1bxiLvTOzZY2

Scranning a mac cheese and pork belly pie

>going SEA
bye NeekPC

meanwhile zachy's dreaming 24/7 about going thailand to see his sister's husband

Who is this "Zach/y" you all keep babbling about?

studio rep: yeah.. I want that NPC neek from 2006 kind of indie-pop but faux-folkesy generic singing style
bard: I got you senpai

>>144839744
bodied that freak

>auto'd again
hmm seems they're on a bit of a warpath after that person posted the sweaty janny pic

more of a /sa20/ guy myself

>>144839775
>post off-topic garbage and use this thread like an /int/ general
>reeeeeeee why are we getting autosaged

south africa 20?

>>144839792
I'm not one to defend this brit schizo but fuck up with your janny apologist faggotry. Every general has this shit and doesn't saged.

>>144839810
Boo fucking hoo champ, look at this fucking thread and tell me honestly if its at all quality

>>144839785
begone shill

>>144839822
now go check every other thread you tryhard janny poof

Zachy merging his Britjeet persona with himself again

>>144839792
>no auto for months
>someone posts an obese sweaty janny pic
>every thread since getting auto'd

yes no connection here

First time poster here, hi ;))
cric has been registering as a hotbed for boulderan activities....so I thought I'd introduce myself. hi :))
also,
V10 bouldermensch here
ama

>>144839325
>>144839345
Chinese invasion

bard shows up and zachy gets spooked and gets the thread auto'd
basically his same strategy with the poll rigging, the silly phoneposting neek

>>144839691
safe travels fella x

>>144839568
now why would a janny go to the effort of 404ing another thread which was made first when there's dozens of divegrass threads

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three days until sheffield shield, aka the cazzie killer kicks off lads.

Mental how they named their season after a random British city.

Thankfully England will be playing Pakistan at the same time so we wont have to bother with d*mestic cricket

>>144839968
meant to (You) >>144838869

>Pakistan ODI on a sunday
just not cricket, how am I supposed to go to a one dayer and not spend the entire time putting away expensive lukewarm watered down lagers in soggy paper cups?

>>144840004
still better than when it was the pura milk cup, grim times

think it's happened lads
think I've formally stopped caring about cricket
barely check the scores these days. just come here sometimes to read the offtopic blogs, unironically

Gamball

>>144839964
meds Max 6 pull-ups

Business idea: nice houses lower their prices so I can buy them

cheekily just switched onto the good laptop during work lads

you should sneak out and do some exercise instead you fat armed cunt

Got some food stuck in my teeth. Zachy come bring those arms of yours over here mate, you're finally useful for something

LOL

Certain WFM stood before the wall,
Fingers tense, ready to rise or fall,
A V5 route, fierce and steep,
With cruxes hidden, secrets to keep.

The holds were small, sharp as stone,
Each move demanded strength of bone.
His mind a map, his body the key,
Unlocking heights most don’t foresee.

He chalked his hands, gripped tight the edge,
Muscles tensed, then stepped from the ledge.
A dyno leap, a pull, a twist,
Each motion a dance, each hold he kissed.

Feet pressing hard, toes balancing tight,
Upward he soared, toward the height.
The crux appeared, a daunting sight,
But Certain WFM was ready—his heart alight.

With grit and power, he reached anew,
His fingers clutching the final view.
A roar of triumph, a breathless grin,
The V5 conquered, the climb within.

He touched the top, arms raised in the air,
The victory sweet, beyond compare.
Certain WFM, bold, with a heart so free,
Had tamed the wall, claimed victory.

>>144840172
kek done him

>>144840208
I like it but there's a typo in the third line of the last stanza

>>144840161
maybe just stop seething at people with bigger arms and do some bicep curls you freak? lmao

you don't, and i won't

>known as ol french fry arms
>goes to france and orders french fries

there once was a man named Zachy
who's views on sex were quite wacky
He got a girlfriend
so he could sit on the end
of her bed as she's fucked by a paki

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>>144840103
picrel
>>144840208
3 lines or less please

5guys for lunch, can’t beat it

bit gay

the 2+2=4 sum-up:
I have well proportioned lean arms that look muscular to the average normie
you have perpetual laptop usage and five guys fatceps and can only do 5 pull ups unironically

>>144840253
based zoe quinn

you fact you don’t like 5guys makes me happy seeing as you are a tastelet

surprised you can even lift those designer ciders with those pot noodle arms

flavourless soggy mess mmm delicious

going home in an hour

i prefer 5 girls because i'm not a fucking poofter unlike certain man

not zachy but can confirm five guys is disgusting sloppa
bunch of weird freaks in their london chains as well - looks like (I imagine) a reddit meetup

>soggy mess
not talking about your prawn dhansak mate

certain man wakes up, looks in the mirror, sees those 2 twiglets apologetically hanging off his shoulders and decides he's going to get completely drunk friday night

they'd never try 5 gays here, would be just like when starbucks tried it. just get btfo out by every local shop doing what they do cheaper and better.

george st starbucks in 15 minutes champ

hawk pooah
shit on that thang

>>144840374
that's soggy mess that tastes of something tho

>>144840382
>toothpick arms
post revealing pic that shows this or gtfo

buck barrel roll in that ship iykwim haha

embarrassing

where cricket

>>144840406
Germans fetish ?

seeing bingo wings/toothpick arms 100 times per thread is getting a bit annoying now
and no I'm not zachy

>>144839691
based bard, enjoyed that mate, made me feel like i was with the barmy army

>made me feel like i was with the barmy army
deano my son

>>144840459
based zachy, enjoyed that mate, made me feel like i was with the zachy batty

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>malding a*glo shitter cancer of /cric/ posts a(nother) dograpingly shit cover of an ear cancer of modern times
Fitting. Ironic this hack is running away to a place where upon landing in Bangkok he'll be greeted by a depiction of a scene from the great Hindu epic Ramayana, webm very much related

cricket is for neeks

>/afl/ and /cric/ autosaged again
>can't even talk about it because that is complaining about 4chan
?

>bard

spending the next 3 months travelling around SEA with a fun and action-packed itinerary, meeting lots of cool backpackers from around the world, probably shagging lots of hot aussie chicks

>zachy
spending the next 3 months alone in his cold bedsit pretending to be an indian on an online cricket forum and photoshopping pictures of himself so his noodle arms are less noticeable

which country has the most neeks per capita? Finland?

>>144840625
itineraries are for NEEKS

Isn't a bedsit
And meds

bard's South Am trip was objectively better than zachy's but they both get filtered by SEA which is much better

Taking a week off work and drawing up an itinerary of house viewings all over 2 counties

nah mine was way more soul and he was too old when he went anyway
might not be for you but it was for me as they say

Taking a week off work and drawing up a complaint of being robbed of £566 all over 2 continents

he went post 27
I went pre 27
simple as

>I'm too pathologically tight to turn on the heating and must save minimum 2k/month
>goes on a luxurious and decadent holiday on his taxpayer-funded money

mate you spent 80% of your trip in that gay nightclub. even bard's knock off ayahuasca experience puts him ahead

it's too big to be truly gay and I met women there

shitjeet seething at based bard because he exposed those lies about his cousin's salary I see kek. also notice how he's never acknowledged his extended '''''''''break''''''' from /cric/ or ever tried to counter the gov records based bard put up

I want to go to Africa. The land of my
(black) fathers

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so true

women go to gay nightclubs to get away from toothpick arms like you champ

genetically impossible for me to be pro-israel

>>144840747
>implying zionists don't flood anglo lands with arabs
now let's see Tommy Robinson's early life

>>144840718
>"knock off ayahuasca experience"
What appeared later ?

>sidekick a*glo shitter still holding up a tuneless malders balls
Absolutely mentally disintegrated by a little 3-chord blues with a Caribbean twist

still refuses to acknowledge it lmao
might genuinely be the same person as zachy 'the freethinker post doesn't exist' bowen after all

just did 7 pullups so time to retire your sad little meme ol toothpicky

>no proof

more like 3 and a half. Half rep fatty

>>144839964
no doubt at this point that the lad is a spiritual zoomer. phoneposts, is into the crossfit of gen z, I could go on

She looked like me!

thinking about Bavuma's bunda again

>>144840860
CrossFit is a dead dire fad for fat neeks that were too lazy to load a dumbbell
Climbing is as primal as swimming or running except more fun (protip:climbing indoors is still climbing)

h-hhhii ...i-is this the Zachy bashing general? ya? good .get this
boulderan?? moar liek ..BOULDERDASH aaaammmoirite??? ya hahaaaaa hope u queem . tabla x

>>144840718
>everyone is zachy
meds

End of season tennis meal later with the other tarqs
King prawn scransak looms

just done a huge zachy's singles game

I'm at least v6 level at tennis

Sucking a leffe in the maltings
Like being back in jonzac

reminder to keep your dreary bouldering nonsense in /cg/

Quite nice to be able to suck a pint on a Friday afternoon. Normally don't because have BOULDERING later but I have been last two days
Friday is a dire day to go anyway really. Everyone just hanging around for the reset and it gets ridiculously packed down at BOULDERING. For me it's tomorrow morning

love bouldering me

bye forever fat neeks

>a-a dire day to go anyway
lmaooooo he's STILL terrified of bumping into the ex

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Reminder /cric/ is pro-Israel because Zaltz is based

>DISHWASHER PROTECTION - Zaltz Dishwasher Salt softens the water and helps your dishwasher to function properly. Zaltz is compatible with many dishwashers.
so true

priceless post

me? charge £2 for every post of mine that's read

Zachy peddling water softeners now

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You will all be lost without me, for a while
I wish you all way more than luck
Maybe take up a hobby. Bouldering or something. I'm about to leave for good. Any last words you have for me before I finally passover? The party is winding down now. It's nearly over. Will still be here in love laughter and 2+2=5 truth. Check my bouldering channel for a v6 this year. Anyway, it's been fun, but this is unironically it

>>144841011
Shes definitely retired from bumdering. Just isn't mathematically possible for me to not have bumped into her

Hope Sri Lanka make the final
Really have solved left arm spin

absolutely based if true
bard, our actual protag, shall inherit the /cric/

I literally live in certain bumdering centre so she has clearly retired from it
Waiting for the queue to finally leave :3
Feels emotional

>>144841734
ah yes, a turbo neek redditor who doesn't even watch test cricket
have fun ol bingo wings you weird laptop thumbing fat neek

that was it
that felt right

better than you you 'bouldering is tied with test matches' freak
don't let the door hit you on the way out mate, you won't be missed

It's over, the BCCI is taking over the sport.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c80r38yeempo

butter chicken and garlic naan

>>144840637
Itineraries are the test cricket of holiday planning

Winging it is T20 behaviour

*whistles Soul Limbo*

Nothing really good on TV anymore

>>144842149
Why don't you make a good TV show and put it on TV yourself then

oi stick insect you on the beers tonight

*repeats the same line over and over again because my name is Zachy Boring*

>>144842720
it's like my demented father who keeps repeating the same line to me 4 times per conversation

Once Labour finally push that euthanasia bill they're going on about through they'll finally be a treatment option for zachy's condition

>>144842646
Didn't say I have good ideas to fix it did I?

The b in zachy b stands for boner pills (for dogs)8ay8

>>144841683
>Any last words you have for me before I finally passover?
no but Steven May

i miss him already lads
god it didn't have to end like this
what have I done

i dont understand what any of you are talking about most of the time

Zachy self diagnosed with canine erectile dysfunction and we're expected to take him seriously as a person

just had another one of those good arse clearing shits but it feels like there's still shit up there fuck me

>>144843804
Give it the old zachy treatment and shove your fingers up there

>>144843847
would rather not tbqhwy

watching hull kr vs warrington in the super league

Nobody asked

i asked

>>144844830
love u m80
>>144844713
fuck u

>>144844880
y-you too thanks

anyone call for a web-slinger?

no

but steven may

personally my tv has never played anything but cricket
brainlets lacking theology and geometry, the lot of you

>lacking theology
wdym i believe in ricky godting

Popped to the supermarket
Punks flashing lasers at the cars and myself down a main road
In a just world I would have beaten them bloody

But this country punishes the bringer of deliverance, and allows the agitators to agitate unimpugned
Broken Britain

based diverse civil servant hunter

yeah mate some magic poofter in the sky made everything nice one
fucking poof

>personally my tv has never played anything but cricket
what order does it bat in mate?

it bats in factory new order champ

Batty B

excited for this CPL qualifier

the big man Cornwall is opening batting fyi

>>144848381