I had to suck a lot of dicks to get my pack, but they took the taste out and I’ve still got some left to enjoy normally. Totally worth it!

We used to have snacks here as well that helped you shit, I think they were called olestra? Anyway, nice to know my fellow bongs get some movement after nothing but fish and chips and milky tea

I can't tell if that's real or British >humour

>>145755798
>good for your goy
well then

>>145755798
>sorghum

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>in Tesco
>suddenly hear a huge scream and a crash
>an entire section of freezers has collapsed
>fat bloke has his legs crushed under them
>bags of frozen peas covering him up to his nose
>fish finger boxes have fallen 20 yards across the floor
>people running to see what has happened
>fat bloke is moaning in agony and can see blood coming from under the freezers
>in his hand the fat bloke has a single bag of insane Kane snack sticks, he is gripping onto them tight despite the fact his legs are crushed and he is bleeding
>the bloke looks up at the crowd
>"I... I had to get some... someone had put them into the freezer... I was reaching... it fell"
>apparently someone left a bag of insane kanes in the freezer and he climbed in to get them but his weight caused them to fall
>people shocked and looking pale as the grisly scene unfolds
>a woman vomits at the smell of blood, shit from the bloke losing his bowels, and thr smell of rapidly defrosting fish fingers
>a Somalian looking nigger in a barbour jacket appears
>climbs through the collapsed mess over to the crushed man
>snatches the insane kanes from his hand and runs off
>apparently he was later mugged for the insane kanes
>the bloke who got crushed lost both legs

It's madness here in Shropshire

I saw Harry Kane at a Asda store in Peckham yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen packs of Insane Kane's in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bags and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each packet and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

Knobbly

>>145763472
Sticks

>2.50 for 80g
fuck off

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>>145755798
>he had a bag hanging off a giant gold chain