Last time on /hoc/ >>151251466Wednesday Oct 8>Canadiens @ Leafs 5pm>Bruins @ Capitals 5:30pm TNT>Flames @ Oilers 8pm>Kings @ Knights 8pm TNT
knights desu
>>151254709Nice
gary said he was NEVER moving the coyotes not even 3 years ago...
Imagine if the flames were sponsored by blacked and they had ads for bbc between periods!
Adam Foxstein isn't even a top 20 defenseman in NHL.
>>151254750who
>>151254728>flames new jersey sponsor is a fucking oil company
>>151254750I can’t name any good Swedish defencemen
>>151254757Can't name a canadian team that has won the cup in 32 years.
>>151254762kek
>>151254755Adam Foxstein. Are you illiterate?>>151254757Adam LarssonMarcus PetterssonElias Salomonsson
>>151254782who
>>1512547624nations cup
>>151254786you know they live off (you)s right
>>151254786>yeah, butkwacanacuck
>>151254786>le allstar game "win" that actually tied the series
>>151254784Understandable that you don't know who that is. He's not even a top 20 defenseman in the NHL and not even the best defenseman on NY rags
>>151254810grim!
>>151254800We dominated y’all
>>151254816>Wekwacanacuck
>>151254816>tied up a series in overtimekwab
>>151254811Very. Adam Foxstein isn't even going to be on the US Olympic roster.
>usa lost the one and only 4 nations cup
>gary's game still countskwacanacuck!
>my team lost, i never cared btw
Just took a wicked marner
>my>xhe thinks xhe is part of the product
trb's bff copey taking up the mantle of pretending 4 naysh didn't matter only after usa got btfo. cmtsu
>>151254837we don't call those that now here
>it was real to me dammit!kwacanacuck
>>151254852based dylan
>y-yeah but!kwacanacuck
>>151254841Sad to see him ally with trb after the comments on sean higgins
>>151254837My 17 year old cat have taken two Marners on the floor during the night.
>>151254866no your cat has taken two nic roys
>>151254841Let it be known that if Canada ever loses to the USA I wont pretend I never cared.
Keep your eye on this bad boy!
My penguins (:
>>151254866Sounds rough, hope they werent particularly foul marners or anything
>>151254887dipshit dumbasskek, no.
>>151254897We dont introduce ourselves in our posts
>>151254867Lol, tell how can a cat take a hockey player? Fuck off retard.>>151254892First one had almost dried during the night and the second one was very loose. He Marners loose Marners on the floor very often now. He always used to walk to the door so I could let him out to take his Marners but he's been unwell for little more than a year so he usually walks into the shower to take the Marners now, but for the past week he's been taken Marners all around the house, unfortunately.
Diablo is woke tranny game real men play chel
>>151254906you tell me
>>151254906Poor kitty, hope he feels better soon
I’m just a gooner gooning night and day (sing to the tune of dreamer by ozzy)
the darkest hours of the night
>>151254716Its like that Jim Carrey movie Lose and Loser
>chucky might even play more than he did last season>full season of marchand and jones to replace barkov's loss>ekblad chuckling how barkov's gonna be the "fastest recovery ever" using his secret stash of completely legal drugs>DOPS and refs bribed already in the preseasonThe 3peat was never in doubt, was it?
>gays>rags>laffs
That time I fucked up by inserting a hockey puck inside my wifeSo, my wife and I are both massive hockey fans. We’ve got jerseys, season passes, the works. A few weeks ago we were having a few drinks while watching a game, and let’s just say the mood got a little playful.She jokingly said something like, “You love hockey more than me,” and me, being the smartass I am, said, “Not true, I’d even bring hockey into our love life.”Apparently that was all the encouragement needed for my drunk brain to start thinking this was a great opportunity for some “creative foreplay.”Now, for context, there was an old, clean (emphasis on clean) rubber practice puck sitting on the coffee table. It’s smooth, round, and after a few drinks, your common sense starts doing a line change off the ice.Anyway, one thing led to another, and I somehow convinced her that it would be “funny” to… well… yeah.To say things did not go as planned would be an understatement. Turns out, a hockey puck is not ergonomically designed for insertion. Who could have guessed? It got stuck in the worst way possible. Cue immediate panic, tears of laughter turning into actual tears, and me Googling “foreign object removal” like I was defusing a bomb.Long story short, we ended up in the ER, where I had to explain to a nurse with the straightest face I could manage that my wife had “a regulation-size puck in the penalty box.” The doctor couldn’t even look at us without smirking.She’s fine now, thank god. And I’ve been banned from saying the word “power play” in the bedroom ever again.Moral of the story: don’t try to combine your hobbies. Especially when one of them involves solid vulcanized rubber.
>>151255374Fucking lost at the first sentence KEK
So which team is the white mans team nowadays
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING PLANET MARNER
>>151255398how she goin', eh?
>rags
Why name a team after a power source
>>151255469Because that's what runs the province's economy https://albertawellfinder.com/map/#11.87/56.97425/-111.10488
>R A G S
Bro who in Utah decided “Mammoths” was the move? That sounds less like an NHL team and more like a brand of winter boots your dad buys at Costco. Nothing says “speed and aggression” like a 10-ton extinct elephant that froze to death because it couldn’t adapt. Real intimidating mascot choice there, guys.They could’ve gone with something cool like “Utah Peaks” or “Salt Blades” or literally anything that doesn’t scream “prehistoric slowpoke.” But nah, let’s name the team after an animal that got clapped by climate change. Can’t wait for their arena intro video where a mammoth slowly walks across the ice and immediately falls through it.
>>151255622name is fine butt whoever made the logo should be fired
>>151255622stop posting such gay shit
Umm Gary bros... the opinion is turning against us...
>>151255650It's shit because sports is becomiing a stock market with cleats so every nigga can feel like some wolf on wall street faggot by winning $20 betting some ass clapped team won against another clapped team.
>>151254728Why are Edmontonians like this
>>151254728Calgary Snowbunnies
these are really nicehate the helmets thohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKND2HSR5Kc
>still one more day to go
>>151255755Kill yourself.
based schizo sven
>>151255792It's an /int/ newfag who's been shitting up the thread the past few weeks.
>>151255825you can't fool me that easily
>>151255828He posted a picture of a bunch of beer cans lying on the floor yesterday, and changed the filename to make it seem like he just snapped the photo. Meanwhile an image search revealed it's some meme from /int/.
Imagine if the Flames win tonight lol
CE SOIR
>>151255840ok, now what
>>151255845
>>151255650I have a feeling the Pew research center is going to be losing some funding real soon
>>151254709>Wednesday Oct 8>>Canadiens @ Leafs 5pmYou've lost op privileges
>Leafs - Habs tonightneat
Good morning /hoc/>rags
4 years for Ceci and Dumoulin btw
>>151256033>gamescore
>>151256033kek no one understands this you dork
>>151256016the shitposting shall be fun
>>151256083It's widely known that my banter is second to none, but unfortunately I will be laser focused on the game I won't be available to entertain you lot
>>151256097/hoc/ will miss your wit :(
AWOOOOOOOO
>from nova scotia>from nova scotia, played for halifax>from nova scotia, played for halifax>played for cape breton
Wolf is going to be hungry tonight
>>151255925We don't post shit teams here.
>>151256152Marner spotting in Calgary
>>151256296We call them Lannys here.
>>151256152grim
>>151256169they just need a frog. shame Bergeron retired
>>151254709The Mammoth don't share any history with the Jets/Coyotes
It seems Martin "regular season" Necas is in great shape.
>>151256436played for the acadie-bathurst titananother gem from the maritime division
Damn did you guys see wolfies instagram video? What a beast that made me so excited for tonight
>>151254750He lost us the 4 nations
>>151256544Yep but Gary tries shifting all the blame to Matthews to protect his fellow tribeman
I see Cody Ceci is already -2 on the season.Congrats to the kings fans for winning they Kenny holland and Cody Ceci sweepstakes
>>151254875Realistically, the 4nations has already peaked. No other tournament will get close to the hype and intensity that one did.Only natural fans lose interest
For me, it's Zach Werenski
>>151256611GM of the Year Jim Nill thought he was good enough for his contender
>>151254709>petty bisexuals editionyikes no thank you
>>151256646Dylan told me he was going to be dominant in a sheltered role
>>151256628It was the best hockey we’ve gotten in a long time. Milan is going to be so much fun
>>151256679Proof?
The Atlanta Thrashers cost as much as Kyle Connor :(
My penguins were temporarily number 1 in the league (:
>>151256708Unlike my Islanders
>>151256708
>>151256736more like mark jewology lol
>>151256687I should have screencapd his sperg outs this post season but I didnt.I quite enjoyed his fake humble schtick in the first 2 rounds.
Is today an Official Rivalry Day, lads??? or unofficial, even?>Laffs at the Hasb, great start to the day>Caps and Bruiins aren't rivals except in comedic finishes >Oilers and Flames need no introduction to rivalries >Silver and Gold match to end the evening A great time will be had... by all
>>151256842>you vs bud >you vs mitch >you vs burrito they aren't really rivalries since you have never 1 but it's close enough
>>151256736What moving to vegas does to a mf
>>151256033>be 2020>have the best prospect pool in the league>let your aging stars bully the management into trading off your young prospects for One Last Run>rot in mediocrity for a decade and a half at leastLet the kings be a lesson to successful teams. Just because you have players that took you to the promise land doesn't mean you have to ruin your franchise to massage their 39 year old egos.
>>151256869turns you into ovi
>>151256874>ruin their franchisewhat a brat you are
>>151256680How new are you? Olympic hockey is gay as fuck and the energy and physicality will be close to the All Star game than it will be to 4 nations or NHL playoffs.
The back to back Stanley Cup losers debut tonight!
>>151256886The penguins have been an embarassment for 8 years because muh sid muh malkin sentiment. I would have traded Crosby, Malkin, and Letang in 2020 and reaped the unholiest collection of draft picks and young players ever seen.All the kings had to do was tell Doughty and Kopitar to stfu and they'd be emerging from a rebuild right now instead of entering into another one.
>>151256890you seem like a blue haired ghoul who doesn't like hockey, perhaps the 'cord is more your speed?
>>151256909Pens I'll agree with you, but the Kings have always been in the mix, but if you're not happy unless they are runaway frontrunners to win the cup I don't know what to tell you
4 nations sucked ass, whats the point of having only 4 countries playing a tournament? Doesn't really count as a win for Canada since Russia didn't play
>>151256898the score popping up at the end of this clip is kino
Fellow obese, disgusting, sweaty, borderline immobile, pre diabetic yinzer bros i just got my big mac from the successful big mac attack goal last night don’t forget.
>>151256933Russia sucks. No centres, no defencemen
>>151256919if by "in the mix" you mean first round exits every year then yeah that's a success. I'd rather be in a rebuild than be the 10th-14th best team in the league personally.
>>151256875Hes big into Gary thanking
>>151256946You didn't win.
How we feeling Flames Nation?
>>151256951what's a skate test
>>151256973Checking to see if you're in shape. You can tell how greedy the owners were that they gave it up
>>151256949It’s harder to tank now because talent is more spread out. I’d take even a fringe playoff team to potentially spending 20 years in the shitter like buffalo or detoilet. Even edmonton had years of shit picks until they got connor. As a fan rebuilds are hell.
>>151256981Why doesn't /hoc/ have skate tests?
>>151256973Its when you post your skates on /hoc/ to prove youre not a cantskate
>>151256992We'd run out of Americans
Has anyone been caught using promises of cheap future equity in the team as a way to skirt the salary cap ?
>>151257009Americans are in very good shape
>>151256986>It’s harder to tank now if you have a shit GMFTFY, see San Jose/Chicago
>>151256933>>151256946>>151256959I don't know about that, Sven; did he have Fun?
My Axes play soon
>>151256992Used to, it's been years since I've seen one
>>151256986In reality only need two high picks (a 1D and 1C) and a good GM can do the rest only because those type of guys don’t become available or free agents usually unless they go to calgary.
>>151257031The annual award medal given to Le Canada every year since 1993!
>>151257039Based have fun! :)
>>151257025The average American woman weighs as much as a blastoise
>>151257045If a 1C and a 1D are all you need, why does Detroit still suck so much?
>ragsLooks like we’re back
>Craig Berube confirms Easton Cowan will be scratched for tonight's season opener: "He's up here with us, we're happy about that. He's here."retards
>>151257115both true and rude>>151257047this, too>not a warning; mjust a notice
>>151257119Back to what, precisely?
eat rock candy
Got the vodka bottle ready to shitpost my ass off during Habs-Laffs tonight
>>151257151
Where's the puck?
>>151257115What is their base friendship stat?
>>151257161in the back of the >rags net
>>151257170Why did they empty the net twice at home? Is it a fetish?
>>151257117Part of the yzerplan to throw you off the trail
>>151257117Why do the Sabres suck too?
>>151257189They're Just Like My Islanders >>
>we were only pretending to be a shit team ran by retardsheh works every time
>>151257157Picked up a high test THC vape to make sure my critique of Austin Mathews is incoherent
>scoreless draw at Tampere
nobody really got that much better this offseason the threepeat is on I’m afraid.
>>151257249I think the Flames are really good
Blichfeld is too good for Liiga
>>151257249worst offseason maybe ever. no trades no movement my islanders get the first pick. fucking gary ruined this great sport
>scoreless draws
>>151257286>too shit for shl, too good for liigaMany such cases
>>151257168they use max power frustration
finna bang on the glass boys
>>151257249Will Kitties even make the playoffs without Barkov and Tkachuk?
I had a reuben for lunch today
Reuben the benus
Any /RefChads/ in the house?
>>151257385yum
I once met a lad named Ruben
>>151257376probably yeah but only because the metro is so shit that the Atlantic will send five teams
>>151257115Thats why its important to know low kick when traveling in the states
>>151257376Probably but not the finals
>>151257407I think they each send 4 desu
>>151257404How were his sandwiches?
>>151257376Ya but our leafs will hard filter them
Why aren’t you watching CHAMPIONS Hockey League right now?
Steelies play tonight
My laffies winning tonight?
>>151257376They made the playoffs last year without Tkachuk, Jones or Marchand.
>>151256933Everyone knows that
>>151257376Probably a second round exit>start off strong on adrenaline>start to falter by december>get tkachuk back and stabilize>run out of juice by may
>>151257433>seems that way
>>151257432always nice to meet another Elite League fan
very grimbring back fleury
ole ole ole
took a walk outside for the first time in a week and im soaked in sweat, grim
>>151257580vpn off, yank
>>1512576041993
>>151257459I see them as a first round exit. Second round exit if they get it together
>>151257580Get a job you fucking hobo
a healthy scratch JEN
>>151257634no, no i dont think so.
>>151257651We need to buy more jerseys
>>151257651wheres zegras? gary told us he was a star.
>>151257651I have never seen a Mathews jersey in Ontario Only Nylander or Marner
>>151257651is jack hughes the most overrated shitter in the league?
>>151257651Who’s buying bustdard’s jersey?
>>151257651Boomer self insert
>>151257675And I've never seen a Kano transformation >Doesn't mean they don't exist
>>151257675>Ontariothe shitty of petty bisexuals
MARTY MARTY THE ONE-MAN PARTY
MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS
>>151257651Celebrinibros, we are officially niche so we can't be called bandwagoners.
>>151257689It does mean that it's unpopular
Feels like Laffs and Habs always play against each other first game of the season. Is that a thing?
>>151257767Yes , they are the OG NHL teams
Didn't take this retard long to make his presence felt, huh?
>>151257682South side residents and those that look or act like them
>>151257767you have great pattern recognition, sven
>>151257433Yea
>>151257039An old lady at the gym I go to always wears a Tappara shirt.
>>151257663/hoc/ doesn’t have the budget
>>151257651Leo Carlsson will be No. 1 of this list next year. 60 goals, mark my words.
>>151257901No one wants to wear a Sw*des name on their back
>>151257852there’s a guy with an ovi tattoo at mine
Gary should give us this week off of work and have games on all day
>>151257932How extremely rude
>>151256937jej
Who is the best Swedish player right now? Nylander?
Up front, the Flames boast a forward group that’s deep, dynamic, and dangerous. Jonathan Huberdeau is back in top form, ready to orchestrate the offense with his elite playmaking. Nazem Kadri brings playoff pedigree and tenacity, anchoring a middle six that’s as gritty as it is skilled. New additions like Morgan Frost and Joel Farabee inject creativity and speed, while Connor Zary and Matt Coronato are primed for breakout campaigns. Yegor Sharangovich and Martin Pospisil offer versatility and edge, and Mikael Backlund continues to be the heartbeat of Calgary’s two-way game. Blake Coleman and Ryan Lomberg round out a bottom six that’s built for pressure and momentum shifts. Add in exciting youngsters like Matvei Gridin and Sam Honzek for scoring depth.The defense is where Calgary’s transformation truly shines. MacKenzie Weegar and Rasmus Andersson remain the cornerstone pairing—mobile, physical, and capable of logging heavy minutes. But the infusion of talent behind them is what elevates this blue line to contender status. Kevin Bahl adds size and shutdown ability, while Jake Bean and Daniil Miromanov bring puck-moving flair. Joel Hanley and Brayden Pachal provide depth and reliability, and the emergence of top prospect Zayne Parekh could be the wild card that turns Calgary’s defense into a juggernaut. With Hunter Brzustewicz, Yan Kuznetsov, and Etienne Morin waiting in the wings, the Flames’ defensive pipeline is stacked.Between the pipes, the torch has officially passed to Dustin Wolf. The reigning rookie standout is ready to take the NHL by storm, combining lightning reflexes with calm composure. Devin Cooley offers a solid backup option, and with Ivan Prosvetov, Owen Say, and Arsenii Sergeev in the system, Calgary’s goaltending depth is quietly elite
I have a strong aversion against rosters with a lot of French-Canadian names. Whenever I hear player names like Dubois, Dufresene, LaPierre, Lavoliette and similar shit I feel nauseous.
>>151258042I think the Flames should win the cup
pls win tonight i want to see laffs cope and tears
>>151258042>the Flames boast a forward group that’s deep, dynamic, and dangerous>ranked 29th in goals for last year>no major additions>>151258076I think they should try for once
>>151258026Gustavsson will be this season
niggas really thought the kitties finna regress
Could dogs be trained to play hockey? How good would they be?
Hello Kenny Albert here
>>151257939I know a guy that named his newborn “Ovi” a couple months ago.In high school, he got dumped and was so upset he punched a security glass wire window, sliced himself up so bad he almost died LOL
>>151258134Hi Kenny, I'm the intern you tried to molest. Got my money?
>>151258128They tried this in the 70s but the dogs took too many ruffing penalties
>>151256992We have naked skates
>>151258150Lier, I didn't molest nobody
>>151258136KWAB
The Calgary Flames are 110-140 (0.440) all time in playoff games but 18-30 (0.375) all time in playoff series.The Edmonton Oilers are 203-144 (0.585, best in the league) all time in playoff games but 44-22 (0.667, tied for best in the league with Vegas) all time in playoff series.
>>151258207Dios mio...
BREAKING NEWS:Kenny is still a virgin
>>151258042Tldr but still a good post
>>151258227thanks, man
>>151258172Based
>>151258172If you have skates on, are you really naked?
>>151258222he has a son who also does broadcasting retard
>>151258051Quit being a fucking disgusting bigot, Sven, it's a real turn off
>>151258265Too bad they getting sued and gonna have to change their fucking name again lmao
>>151258266Shut the fuck up Jean-Sebastien Gauthier
>wordle took me 5 trieskwab
or brndiskaag-nurburging or whatever the fuck the red wings rookies name is
Swedes are cuck faggots because they take their wife’s last name after marriage
>>151258299connections with 2 fuck ups today was not my day
there is literally nothing wrong with taking your wife's last name after marriage
I feel like I am missing something huge or people are just taking crazy pills but why are people so high on the Ducks this year? The Mammoth were the fringe playoff team in the west and although the Ducks were only 9 points behind, it seemed like a massive difference between them and the Mammoth.
>>151258265>dude, it's black!I will never rate a black jersey above a 1/12
In Calgary rn (right now) why didn’t you fags tell me the air was so thin up here. I thought the “Calgary is a mountain town” was a work
>>151258330People talk themselves into loving shitty teams all the time.
>>151258329Yes there is libtard
>>151258338here's a colourful jersey for ya
>>1512583415.50 for each? That's not a value in the case of both drinks and perhaps the pretzel Why does concessions adhere to total retardation as a pricing strategy??? fucking hell
>>151258376Extremely Swedish
>>151258172probably feels awesome
Zesty Zanye parekh scratched to make way for the “big bean” Jake bean.That’s a KWAB
