THE ASHES End of Day 1 @ Perth ENGLAND 172.v AUSTRALIA 123/9.
auswinslol
>>152067360I have some for day 4 because I couldn't get any for day 3. Going to have to start making other plans
*be's smug*
CHOCKSTRALIAHOCKSTRALIA
kneeling to the lads that were up all night watching rn (right now) ngl (not gonna lie) to you (ty)
>>152067248>Most wickets on the first day of an Ashes test since 1909 Old Trafford (both sides bowled out)that's because of all the T20 they were playing back then it ruined their test brains
>most obvious saffa accent ever>"england" ermmmat least the saffas on our team sound australian
>>152067387australia coined ngl
>19 (nineteen) wickets on day oneexecute the groundsmen right now (and the t20 format)
>>152067387This, don't Australians ever sleep?
>>152067387tabla x
Stokes CONFIRMED a cheap wicket merchant.
Just turned onDid I miss much
>>152067366>Let Stokes get maybe the worst 5fa in test historyI'm fucking ill
stokes looked like a giga chad heeming >us
>all that early shitposting by the aussies Well well well
Lyon will open tomorrow up with a cheeky 50 then will get 4 wickets
>>152067398I was up at 3:30am this morningprob go to bed around 2am tonight
Now I can sleep
business idea: be better at batting
T20s have ruined cricket
toil looms
Khawaja confirmed back injury
More of a footy nation
Can't help but feel making more use of the 5 days on offer to chock up more runs would be more conducive to winning
gonna go have a wank, cya lads tomorrow
>>152067422That's rugby not footy.
>smacky pumps out 200 with full.body cramps>paki has a sleep for half an hour and sends marnus out
>>152067422Wrong webm mate that's peegue.
it's a /cric/ world, /esspee/ is just fortunate to be living in it
>>152067430Why did he use his foot then
>>152067421Yh back blown out after getting FUCKED
England are shit because they are stupid, Aussies are just shit
/cric/ pre-day 2 disco starts in 8 bongsget some rest ausbros
>>152067436>loses to South Africa
lads we all knew the aus batting was shit because it's full of oldies but we thought there'd be SOME bench strength with the bowling if cummins wasn't there. instead it was just old man starcwe might hold the ashes for over a decade with the current '''''talents''''''' shield are throwing out
>>152067433I made 5 of these :)
The bong bowling selections and rotations were elitewell done bong dogs
did this neek really get an addin to show him when bump limits get hit? lmaoooooo
HOHO HAHA HEEHEE HAHA
>>152067442Like you didn't in the WTC final kek
/cric/ RUNS /sp/
>>152067445Nah they’ll select them again and Stokes, Archer and Wood will die. Hurt a few of the Aussies though
>>152067422wtf is that first tackle? just falls off him. he'd have been put in the stands in real rugby
>>152067443The Australia team is full of oldies because there's no one to replace them. Head was the last one to do well in shield cricket and make it in the test team.Everyone else since has failed. And there's no one on the horizon either.
>>152067436No one cares jeet.
>>152067449>WTCNot a real thing
FLOOPISAMADMAN HELPUS SAVEUS
>channel 7 goes to wbbl>first ball they show is a midfield that goes for 4
>>152067443they should have picked the greek zoomer chadhe's not that good but he has the bazball spirit
>>152067421Old man needs to retire
So Crawley confirmed shit, there was a theory he would do well this series as he’s “good” against pace and has a good record against and in Australia. But after a duck, surely that is it.
>>152067468Should’ve put Renshaw in
too much cricket talk in the last few /cric/s for my liking
>>152067474contJust a shame there’s no other openers to pick instead
>>152067466>midfieldwhat cunt?
>>152067480>>152067439>t. Zachariah “no friends” Bowen
>>152067444Thank you for your service
didn't even realise they weren't all out kek>Boland at 10can't imagine how bad the next batsMAN is
Any plans for today, englishmen?
>>152067483Was going to ask kek, who would replace himThey would probably come up with some absurd meme choice e.g. Brook
i fell asleep after about 5 england wicketsi woke up and the odds for us to win the series have got alot better wtf is going on here
>>152067430Retard thinks League is Rugby
>>152067505toil then beer
>>152067507They’d probably pick Bethell lolBen McKinney is doing ok for the Lions this tour.
>>152067450Kiwis run /cric/ (and England cricket)
waiting up till the Grade Cricketers release their day review
so unironically this is all koalas fault right the collapse started when he didn't go out and open like the cunts got 1 job was he praying or something
How is Boo-urns looking these dayst. never watch county cric
prefer a bowlers day to a batters day ngl
>>152067453Don't disrespect Matt "flat earth" Burton
>>152067530
Craving a custard tart
>>152067521sad but trve. not for the better either.
why not a chocolate tart?
The weirdest thing about Jeet immigration is seeing all the coconut bouncers who are twice my size being replaced by Jeet bouncers that are half my size.
Missed the full day's play, what was the funniest wicket?
>>152067505Should probably go to work. I was meant to be in 78 minutes ago.
>>152067559Probably lab oo shag knee
>>152067529Quite good actually, Surrey were unlucky this year and got beaten by Notts, but he has a good partnership with Sibley. Sibley should have been considered during the summer for a re-call.
it'd be lab oo skagh a kneeaustralian iq can't even get it right in print
>still this myth that the 70s Windies side didn't play with a spinner Someone tell McChuck about Lance Gibbs, the second player to take 300 Test wickets.
what are we gonna do for the 3 nights after tonight. now me sleep pattern's all fucked up.
did root finally get his 100
>>152067587Consider fixing your time zone
pozzies gone awfully quiet
We need flags to let us know which state people are posting from
>>152067433makes me want to watch cricked (dont even know the rules think i played it one or twice in school 20+ years ago)
>>152067597we're where time comes from mate. it's always the right time here.
>>152067609I can always spot Queensland posts as they have poor grammar and low brow humour.
i would be abit scared about flying to australia feels wrong like the plane might just fall out of the air
>>152067618could do that on the way to benidorm mate. if o'leary is cutting corners on customer service imagine what he's doing on maintenance?
https://youtu.be/L_xtimQFMFM?si=LaagSE2uLkWjSEWz
>>152067618they do a half barrel roll at the equator
>>152067436thanks for that, /u/curlyhairedyani
is wallaby good eating. apparently we're gonna start culling them?
>>152067614say that to my face cunt but you wouldn't because you're a poo cum welshbitch WHO WON ORIGIN? WHO WON THE NRL? QUEENSLANDERS ARE SUPERIOR AND YOU KNOW IT
>>152067653Fairly sure you don't need a license to hunt them, at least in NZ
>>152067654for me it's south australia.
LADS,It's convictstralia
>>152067662no here you stupid tard, apparently we're being overrun.
>>152067422>poosters
>>152067664Some call Adelaide, "the city of churches"
>>152067664I'm not surprised, all the nonces settled there
Found out yesterday you need a license to sell marmite in Denmark
>>152067422Such a weird sport, putting the ball on the ground just never looks cool.
i have a job so i cant really watch much of the ashes but the day night test will be epicthats my ashes
>>152067681I'm not surprised, the stuff is disgusting unlike vegemite which is extremely healthy
>>152067676i like adelaide it's comfy. it's a bit sons and daughters though.
>>152067683Yeah I'm not surprised
>India, that is Bharat, removes their muzzies>win the T20 WC>Saffers remove their mizzie and adds a Hindu /strongmind/>win the WTC>engshitters remove their muzzie>start dabbing on convicts for the first time in 15 years>convicts keep their terrorist muzzie >about to get ZUTTED by engshittersReally gets the suicide vest ticking
>>152067683I think this is the only test starting at 0220 which is a bit too much for me as evidenced last night. 0400 is easier just go to bed early and set the alarm
>>152067695she cute
Don't understand why vegemite is considered this weird and wacky aussie icon when brits have marmite which is the exact same thing
>>152067682It’s like saying FUCK YOU to the opposition, that’s what’s good about it
>>152067695if you were an average woman how much would you want to be paid to get taken to the cricket for half a day
>poojeets piss and shit and scam call themselves into 50ft BGT temples and exclusive extended DVD specials for beating these utter shittersstate lmao
>>152067653Kangaroo is very lean and a bit gamey but decent to eat, I imagine wallaby would be tastier as they aren’t as powerful an animal
>>152067703It’s not exactly the same. Both are yeast extracts. The Swiss also have it
>>152067366
Don't understand why afl/nrl is considered this weird and wacky aussie icon when brits have rugby which is the exact same thing
>>152067703It's not the same at all but with you not being a Queenslander I'm not surprised that you don't know that
>>152067710I’ve had too and yes it’s something like venison and beef. Never had wallaby but I agree I’d imagine it’s better because they’re fatter and lazier
>>152067718*roo
>>152067712why do english people do this
rugby league is vegemite rugby union is marmite
>>152067710Really liked the kangaroo burgers i've eaten, as for reasons of respecting gau mata, the animal who's domestication by my /strongmind/ Hindu ancestors gave birth to modern civilisation, i don't eat
>>152067718Wish we could eat them here but you can’t Also want to try emu but it’s rare not widely available like roo
>>152067712Imagine the smell
Australian fans getting outnumbered at their own stadium isn't even limited to games against India now
>>152067736>you can’t Not legally
>>152067736Used to see emu in those discount independent supermarkets in the 90s. Spoke to a kumul about cassowary and he said it’s tough meat unless you get a young one so imagine emu is similar and I’ve heard it’s greasy (which could be good)
australians didn't reproduce so their average age is like 60it's mostly chinese and indians now. basically a bigger singapore
>>152067673>we're being overrun don;t think so, there's a big population on the Isle of Mann but apart from that there's apparently a few up near Loch Lomond way and a few in the Peak District. One got spotted on the Norfolk/Suffolk border and that's it. But to answer your question on "good eating" I think the general consensus is "ok", and you have to stew them.
night fellasgood day of crigget
gonna go out for a drive go shop how many beers do you think i need if the cricket doesnt start for another 15 hours
>>152067718the culling is gonna be on the IOM easy to get to for me an you.
back from the cricket, fuck me what a daystarc's best ever feels cheapened by stokes' five-for but bloody hell >we were just nowhere with the bathave to give it to the barmy army they were sat roasting in the sun all day and still in full song at the end of the day>>152067743not outnumbered today but definitely not nearly as vocal, the one chant of 'aussie aussie aussie' that got going was met with sarcastic applause from the poms
didn't watchwatching highlightslooks like quite dire batting and chucking wickets away desu. hardly any good bowling. are batsmen just shit now?
>>152067712I'd take an Essex flag and Bard would do a Worcestershire one, would any of yous do your county flag?
box of 28 peronis will probably keep me going
>>152067750>Isle of Mannabsolute foren or souf. don't speak to me.
>>152067718forgot link.https://theweek.com/environment/the-uk-wallaby-boom?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-gb
>>152067753Night night sweet dreams
Deer are a much bigger problem and they don't do anything about that. They aren't going to shit themselves enough to do a cull for just a couple of Wallabies. Shit there's probably more Wild Boar in the England
never been Isle of Man. is it good?
>>152067759There’s wallaby on Lambay Island in Dublin too. Some Lord bought them from the zoo ages ago and they’ve been breeding there
>box of 28 peronis will probably keep me going
Rather go to isle of women
>>152067778Butchers sell venison here in Dublin. Not all butchers, but you can find it
>>152067783AI is usually just slop but I can genuinely imagine this being 47 year old zachy
>>152067778>there's probably more Wild Boar in the Englandwild boar are native.
give it
Who would have even brought wallabies all that way? Atleast they seem like they’d fit in well to the ecosystem unlike the introduced animals here
>>152067791does he look like he can do 31 pull-ups?
>>152067489you are obsessed ol' neek of nazeing
>inherit unathletic welsh genes>unironically think 31 is impressive
>>152067799Neither does zachy
Just want to say I fucking love you blokes more than life itself
>>152067810t.can do 4what's impressive then?
>>152067815hey i know you from /alf/
>>152067789yh its common in Britain and in supermarkets as well (but at exorbitant prices) but its not a national organised "cull" despite there being millions of the fuckers. Pretty sure they want to keep the price of venison high, the cost of game rights high and keep out the proles. >>152067794Wild Boar went extinct centuries ago in Britain, the current wild populations are escapees from hobby farms in the last half-century. Only found in Kent and Gloucestershire.
thing with countysperg is he might, perhaps, maybe at some point should just consider uhh getting over that one time chadchy b said a few things that hurt his feelings during a virtual meetup on the internet
>>152067795>Taxpayers will foot the billsounds likely to me now
>>152067816Some Australian woman did 700 the other day
>>152067826Most powerful race!
>>152067826we are talking one set
the blog brothers are inbeing extra 'boar'ing as well I see
I'll do a quick 32 before bed
>>15206781650+ would be at the point I'd justify talking about it31 is hardly notable if you're in decent shape
There is the odd butchers that you can get kangaroo meat in in Britain as well. The one in the "new" covered section at Romford market used to. But haven't been in that bit in years.
>>152067828Maybe you should focus on having one sex
Are the last 10 years of /cric/ lore worth catching up on or nah
>>152067830heard someone from NZ saying he was 'going for a quick 40 winks' the other day
>>152067833why can't you do 8 then
>>152067842Heard somebody from new zealand saying he would take a quick 5 wickets today
50 is more than possible, that's what you can say31 is still loads
>>152067815Love you too lad
could do with a quick 32 between lyon and doggett tomorrow
>>152067841I'll save you the time>poosh got banned and left, same with almost every other pozzie poosonality>UK poosonalities took over. first zachy (big foreheaded, gets bullied for his reddit hobby of bouldering and having very skinny arms), then bard (civil servant addicted to finding meaning through money with freelance work. Does 12 hour work days then goes on 3 week holidays and constantly blogs about them). these 2 have some sort of weird 'frenemies' thing going, might be the same guy idk>sebshit comes out as bindian despite larping as fat white yank for years>britjeet/shitjeet spams /cric/ 24/7 with anglo shitter and convict posts. one day, flies too close to the sun and gets fact checked by bard through the civil service database and partially doxxed. leaves without notice for 2-3 yearsvery little cricket is discussed here outside this series
>>152067846I don't train calisthenics because I'm not some woman into yogaI could do 10-15 if I tried right now and 25-35 if I trained for a couple of weeks
bro wtf happened today
20 to 30 would take you ages you fat memer
>>152067761Often the way with away fans in fixtures like this desu, because the poms who have committed to the expenditure of going will be the most die hard fans, who'll want to be in full voice all day Understandably there'll be more casuals among the home support
>>152067862Sounds grim icl
>>152067826That's all? Even i've fucked more men than that and I basically only fuck women
>>152067862Do 5-6 week holidays desuAnd would question the "fr" aspect of the frenemies situation
>>152067883Sacred blur mon amy snails and goose liver
>>152067887The whole website died after Covid and cric was no exception
>>152067862missing daniel who is unironically more interesting than anybody you listed, and he's dreadfully uninteresting.
>>152067897absolutely done him lol
>>152067901daniel hasn't posted here for a couple years
>>152067862best gone but not forgotten poosonalities were PVO lad and everyone is zachy schizo
>ENGLELvs>CHOKESTRALIAnow that the dust has settled, is this the worst ASHES ever¿ fellas?? ya?
>>152067862medbedev fella
i wonder if they selectors are reconsidering fielding two completely over the hill geriatrics and two rusted on cunts who have NEVER been good.
>>152067841...yh only if you're into gimmicks
Aussies have to chillEngland were always gonna win one test match at least this seriesan Australian 3-1 victory is still on the cards
I feel so bad for weatheraldeven though he only faced two balls, he looked totally out of his depth
>>152067883I was asleep for most of it
soime >>152067950missed chimp-outs from Stokes et.al
toilberg playing Coldplay in the office his taste does my ears in
keKkkk
>>152067947well yeah, get the baggy green and go lbw for naught while falling overcan't imagine he'll sleep well tonight but at least he has another innings to do something
Fawlty Towers is the official sitcom of /cric/
if khawaja is out with back spastics can >we bring in webster providing he doesn't bowl?
>>152067990..yh can go with that nglYes Minister, allo allo and are you being served are all good
>>152067996NopeConussion subs are the only batting and/or bowling subs allowed Reckon if i was the coach id tell Koala to fall on his head while fielding so we can get a concussion sub in
