The /Ashes/ 3rd TestEnd of Day 2AUSTRALIA 371.v ENGLAND 213/8.ffs
YFO
>england 213/8
>>152547093what is trav doing?
saarball
Almost summer holidays lads
>>152547105laughing at England
Evening
>>152547112last day of work tomorrow :)
>engLLLLLLLLDLLLLDLLL+L
bit worried about the seaguls here ngl
englads are the media there starting to get the pitchforks out? feels like the team has been taking the piss a bit and the sentiment surrounding it is shifting, at least amongst the poms on comms I've heard
>>152547128Just throw em a chip bro. They're probably just hungry and have no beef with you personally.If you have no chips just rush at them maniacally whilst flailing your arms and yelling and they'll scatter.
>>152547136doing it after today of all days would be very ironic considering that, aside from Smith and Pope, they just faced an extremely good bowling performance and didn't do too much wrong with the bat
>>152547136they are taking it well so far
>>152547128the bbl gods require the sacrifice of one gull per season
>>152547147i mean the ones at the bbl
Hanging on in meek surrender is the englel way
>>152547123I did tomorrow's work today so I'm finished now, though I'm fucked as a result.
>>152547153Why are they going after Stokes? He's the only one actually putting something in
Archer doesn't even want to be out their his body language is terrible.
>>152547156My point still stands.
>Starc is tied 5th for most runs this series in 3 innings so farwhat does this say about both teams batting and/or bowling capabilities?
>>152547169saw a clip earlier that looked like stokes was laying into him
>>152547160>though I'm fucked as a result.half assed it all?ive got more than a day's work to get done tomorrow and a few fucking meetings that are going to chew up 3 hrs
>>152547153Maybe if you lot didnt talk yourselves up prior to the Ashes starting saying you would 5-0 Australia and all that other shit, it wouldn't be as dispiriting for you lot
>>152547179>half assed it all?No, i'm tired I meant. I was going to have a beer or two but bed is more attractive, sad.
timmy d's seething
>>152547164thats probably the only one i've seen, others are a bit less dramatic
>>152547164>didnt take over bowling when cArse shat the bed again>just batting to see out balls when he should be scoring way more, not even about bazzing it>as a strict dictatorship out in the field, he wont let bowlers set a field or try something newBazball would be better under a different captain like Crawley unironically or even Brook
>>152547175>Batting across the boardPoor>Bowling across the boardNot bad>StarcGenuine All-rounderHere's a good question though. If Hazelwood wasn't made of literal fucking glass would he regarded as one of the all time great Aussie Quicks?
>>152547178
>>152547175Shit English bowling and undisciplined batting from both sides.
>>152547190Hazlewood is up there but he wouldn't make even the 3rd 3-man pace attack of all time Aussie bowlers
>>152547186I feel like only pope and baz need to goeveryone else couldnt be replaced by someone betterI just think the team hasn't been executing - bowling has consistently been too short and the batting has been too loose, though will say the batting looked better today (just ausgods are too good)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cdj87vd0xwpo>England should not make wholesale changes to their playing group even if their expected Ashes defeat is confirmed, according to former captain Michael Vaughan.what
>>152547190Depends on whether passing the eye test is an essential pre-requisite
>>152547186Stokes needs to go as captain thoughhe has a way too big of an ego and has hero syndrome
>>152547200I was gonna say Pope could go keeper but he must be really shit given how they are happy with Jamie Smith being there.
>>152547188Fair enough. This current squad is pretty new to me. Alot of unknowns, apart from Stokes/Root/Archer. Stokes does seem to give it his all, especially today.
>>152547186Probably the coach and selectors need to be replaced and Stokes stripped of captaincy (classic ECB move)
>>152547193thats the one
>>152547204I think he means just for the 4th and 5th testsand I agree with himid bring in bethell, and maybe give potts a game for whatever bowler needs a break but otherwise keep playing the same spine
>>152547216>Stokes does seem to give it his allhe really doesn'the just likes to play hero and has a massive ego hence why he overbowls himselfhe is full of theatrics
>>152547221>I think he means just for the 4th and 5th testsHe doesn't.>"English cricket often works in four-year cycles, home and away Ashes series," Vaughan told the Ashes Debrief on BBC iPlayer. "One or two players need to go because they aren't good enough at this level, but a number of them have enough talent. If they are coached and managed correctly, and given the right kind of preparation, they are going to be fine in four years. It's the only way I can see that English cricket can possibly be competitive in Australia, if they stick with some of the players that have the experience. Bad experience is better than no experience."
>>152547208the problem is nobody to replace him. The bigger problem is McCullum, and Key needs to totally fuck off as he is intent on destroying English cricket totally.
1.5 shifts of toil left
>>152547193without knowing what's actually being said, Archer comes across looking like a massive bellend here
inb4 they lose this test and bring in bashir and he tears through the australian batsmen
>>152547224Meh, you could say the same about Cummins. I know who I'd prefer to sit down and have a beer and a chat with.
carse has taken a lot of wickets (?!)
>>152547193>Archer not even looking at Stokes and waving his hand in Stokes' face when being spoken toSays it all to be honest. Duckett should have stayed out of the way as well. Too pally, no accountability, no responsibility.
>>152547250this lolcummins also refuses to give up his batting spot to the muscular starc
>>152547250i hate cunts with hero syndromei wouldnt sit down either desu
>>152547229Agreed. When England play actual Test Cricket, they do well.
the saviour of english cricket
seen some of you on reddit ngl
wade with the bants
>>152547264yer a batsman arry
Have a beer with rankings:>wood>head>weatherald>carse (he'd wanna go on the pokies)>brook>inglis>stokes>hazlewood>(the rest)>cummins>usman
>>152547193yep, that's the one
>>152547266what are you doing on /r/sissyboysluts and how do you know what i look like?
i actually just gave it a thoughti reckon we have been having so many issues with snicko this series because i guarantee they are using AI in some part of it
>>152547214He just isn't a keeper full stop. There's this fucking retarded meme that he is somehow good enough for a stopgap, but he isn't, as far as I'm aware he's never kept in a FC match. It just goes to show in how little regard keeping and fielding is held in the England system, the commentariat and a lot of the supporters (the bazball slurpers) that they think picking the Surrey second choice wk is the path to success, let alone that Pope is an acceptable substitute because he once kept in the Surrey 2nds The problem is they didn't pick a back up keeper, they threw all their eggs in one basket with Smith "backing" him to the retarded point of not even taking Foakes as a second choice in case of injury. Other than that the only choice is James Rew who was with the Lions and is Somsersets main keeper, but with the Lions he wasn't keeping, they were giving the gloves to his younger brother who has barely made any FC appearances. And that's assuming he still in oz and hasn't already gone home.
>>152547266I do my best to not duplicate comments on both so I stay separate
>>152547275x
>>152547257I reckon Stokes would be an actual lad if he didn't think you were some kind of 4chan Autist.Cummins would try to sell Gillette/Harvey Norman/Westpac products and services with a shit-eating grin of his corportised fucking face. Disappointing really cause I really used to admire the guy.
>>152547273>Head>WeatherladWouldn't go for a beer with any others
>>152547279queem QUEEM
>>152547273Wood is a teetotal
vaxxed?
>>152547291based BASEDim teetotal too so this list was purely hypothetical and that just backs up my incredible skills of good cunt deduction
>>152547296*sniff*
I really think Stokes needs to listen to his bowlers sometimes as i think he is struggling being the overlord for how the field sets and how the bowlers have to bowl>>152547255Whose ego do you think is bigger, Stokes or Archer?
>>152547296based God
>>152547299>Whose ego do you think is bigger, Stokes or Archer?which one wears the massive "bling" chain?
>>152547303...wait no, not that one
>>152547304that was his grandfather's retirement gift
>>152547296excellent news
>>152547278>as far as I'm aware he's never kept in a FC match.He's done it six times in Tests, 4 in NZ (including the whole series last December) and 2 in Pak: https://stats.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/player/887207.html?class=1;keeper=1;template=results;type=fielding;view=innings
>>152547304thisI'm sure Stokes is a twat but Archer seems very self involved and disinterested outside of making himself looks good
>>152547204he's a spazball slurper always has been, and then acts shocked when it turns to shit. Pretty much most of the problems have are their own creation is stupid selections and stupid tactics, they've known this since the last home ashes but a lot of commentariat don't like to be "too negative" especially the BBC and Sky, and Vaughan works for both. He has talked about these continual problems at points but then just turns round and says "Ben and the boys: great bunch of lads, I think they'll win". Most are already thinking >we have lost this test, so why shouldn't they make wholesale changes. >Rew for Smith >Potts for cArse>Stokes at three over Pope for starters.
CAUGHT IN THE CROWD
bacon, scramby eggs and hash browns for midnight tea
>>152547314carse is their top wicket takerstatistically a bad idea to replace him
Sibley Duckett HainRootBrookStokesRew (wk)Ahmed Archer CookAnderson (This team beats Australia 5-0 btw)
based guls
seagull interruption, play has been suspended
Genuine question, was England's over rate slow as shit yesterday? Just seen Aussies finished at 91.2 overs this morning. Surely thats docked points?
>>152547312must have memory holed all of these, although had a thought he might have kept in NZ, because they were abroad. I thought they had Foakes in the paki 2022 series. Now I'd like to know his keeping record at Surrey.
>>152547296Dictator Dan deserves everything that's coming to himOut of all of the deranged COVID era politicians, he was the worst
one of ems dead. the seasonal gull sacrifice has been satisfied
>>152547323I just had two air fryer fish hotdogs
gul ded F
>>152547326>This team beats Australia 5-0 btw)In Australia or England?
I dont like seeing injured seagulls either :(
>>152547296Continue to focus your prayers against evil.
umar gul is dead?
>>152547336Umar Gul?
>>152547337In his fucken dreams
>>152547340>>152547342based /cric/ brothers
>>152547334how did it even happen? the ball went for six and was further square than where the gull was
>>152547337Both (maybe 4-0 in England due to rain)
>feels bad for seagulls>happily eats kfc on the regular without second thought?
made me Google you dumb cazzie hate t20 watchers
>>152547351not kfs is it, simple as
>>152547325and he's been rubbish, the fact he's the top wicket taker is pretty damning. I don't think its his fault entirely, but surely he must know the short ball tactic is bloody stupid. I think if he concentrated more on swing rather than out and out pace he would do better. >>152547326Hain isn't a no 3, he bats at 4 mostly. Should think of having him a five and telling Brook to grow a brain.
>>152547351yeah but they dont injure the chickens with cricket balls before they make my kfc
>>152547349vaxxed
>>152547354if you watched BBL with us you'd understand the context dickhead
>>152547357agreed, he obviously got told he'd be the short ball guy before the series startedshort ball barrages are something you do for 6-8 overs when a partnership is becoming unbreakable, but you guys seem to be going to it far too soon and for far too long
one of these pricks better get out soon. we're losing smacky runway
>>152547357Yeah I was struggling to think who could be at 3, that and the opener are the big problem spots, but at least you've got a couple of options for in-form openers (Sibley, Hameed). Not really sure there's anyone who's been that impressive at 3 in recent years. Wondered about that likes of Abell or Bohannon, but don't think they're used to 3 either. Maybe J Cox would be the best alternative.
>>152547334Smacky is now at full strength
what do the women crickettes do for the rest of summer now the WBBL is done?
>>152547383Lesbian activity
i think i'll get drunk today
>>152547331>I thought they had Foakes in the paki 2022 series.Only for the last Test where Pope got moved to 3
>>152547383smash clams mostly
>>152547330yep, it is unironically a part of the bazball tacticwhen you have the opposition getting through their overs you have more opportunity to scoreso bazball noticed that and deliberately slow the game down so their opposition don't have as many potential overs to score fromgranted it has been hot as fuck this test but you can go back to the previous two and see how slow they bowl through oversthey bowled 83 overs day 1 taking 8 wickets but needed an extra 30 minutes to do sotook them 40 minutes today to get to 91.2 overs with 2 wickets takenso kinda dog shit desulast test they didnt even get the new ball when australia batted in their first innings even though Australia started batting a little bit into day 2 session 1
>>152547393australia bowled 74 overs on day 1 at the gabba
>>152547181you have failed to take into consideration that were it not for Snicko we would have been energised by a considerably lower Australian score and not felt the heavier burden of knowing we were not just up against the players but the host broadcaster as well. This whole series is null and void and any kind of resistance at this point cements our status as the true moral victors
pimple inside my nosekill me
So what are ausfags going to do when albaneasy makes it illegal to say the n word on 4chinz?
>>152547402yeah m8, but they got England out before 80 overs so it doesn't matter :^)
is there even a point in playing the last two tests? just all feels so anticlimactic
SIX SEVEN!!! ha ha
Beyers Swanepoel is probably the most elite talent in world cricket at this moment in time
>>152547406you been pluckin' mate?
kek that girl had no interest in pressing the surge button
>>152547424thanks mate you just sent my nephew into a laughing fit and now he's asphyxiating
turn the last two tests into charity matches to raise funds for english cricket (RIP)
>>152547200the ECB fucked development off for the hundred franchise they hoped would pull in all the asians for the domestic cricket. We have 3 months of summer and now one of those is entirely dedicated to a tournament that is only attended by the same people that attended the t20 games because they were unable to get any Indians to sign for franchises. We don't even play first class games in that month and cram all the tests into June/JulyWhen McCullum came in, England were the top team in limited overs with a big supply of players waiting to come in so he figured we could just smash it to all corners in the tests as well.
>>152547428nah i havent quite got the long nose hairs of a 30 something year old yetbut I did find an 8 inch pube a month ago
>>152547405Carey only put on like what, 30 odd extra runs because of that?Those 30 runs would have been made by Starc most likelyi really dont care about third umps or technology getting it wrong when they gave the bump ball catch by Root out all those years agoyou win some and you lose some calls, i am not gonna dwell on it
no smacky
>>152547360won't be doing that you t20 watching neek
based sleeper agent Baz
instead of 3 reviews per innings, each team should get 10 innings for the entire game
my big brained opinion senses are tingling
fuck meant 10 reviews
>>152547448Been saying this for a bit but nobody will listen
if im a seagul and i see one of my mates literally die in the place we're all hanging out in, i'm getting the hell out of there these little fellas have balls of steal
no maxy, not a real win
my stars :)
goodnight ausbros
night fella
>>152547376Bohannon has had some good seasons, the was top run scorer back in 22(?) but he isn't a consistent scorer, like he only averaged low 30s in D2 last season. Abell usually bats lower than 3, Lammonby I think is Somsersets regular 3 now. Jordan Cox also tends to be 4 or 5 in FC cricket.Bethell, the one they shill, barely plays any FC cricket so is hard to judge. Westley is past it as Essex. Think they fancied Ollie Price at Gloucester a little as he went with the Lions once, but I think he's a bit too young and needs time to improve: which means they will take him in and ruin him lol. Ahmed was playing a three quite a bit for Leicester last season and had a lot of success. Charlie Allison looked good for Essex, played a bit as opener without much success but looked good in the middle order. Number 3 is always a problem, but now seemingly more than ever. They could try Hameed at three I guess. A big part of the problem seems to be the staff at the England set up.
>>152547476*kisses your pudgy tummy*goodnight love
>>152547296There is a God and He is vengeful. See Jerusalem 70AD
You're next MaoGowan
>>152547482What about the Sussex lads? Coles and Haines? They're highly rated, can't remember where they bat thoughAhmed could be a good shout if he manages to adapt fully to number 3, could open up a spot for another all rounder in the lower middle orderSmith could also be tried at 3, but suspect he'd look fairly brainless there too. Or, like you suggest, they could try an opener like Hameed there, I think he sometimes comes in at 3 for Notts. That'd probably be the best shout in the post-Bazball era desu
>find the image that is not like the others
God is real and he abandoned this god forsaken world and his creation. we are in hell
George Dobell, one of the few English cricket commentators worth listening to: https://youtu.be/XyoFHCu3dP0?si
how you turkbrohow cat
this world is shit fuck this world fuck the people that inhabit it fucking demons we are the fallen angels
>>152547528Didn't rate his conduct much in the Azeem Rafiq affair, seemed determined to drag Yorkshire and English cricket as a whole into a racism scandal, when Rafiq was clearly an unreliable witness and a grifter Have agreed with him on purely cricketing matters thoughever
>>152547519Crisp Alexander Pearce
got a serious case of yank fatigue, fuck i'm sick of them
>>152547533not half bad. how are youyou guys havin a peaceful christmas
>>152547519>took the brown posts ages to figure out the new captcha KEKEK
>>152547577yeah alri' thanks turkbro off toil chilling with cat at peace now
time for the darts see you later knobheads!
>>152547190 >>152547175Here, see my post from over 10 years ago >>57570702
>>152547193All Stokes was saying was 'if you bowled at the fucking stumps to begin with, you would have got him out 3 overs ago (which is correct, to be fair)
>>152547273I reckon Carey would be mad on the piss.
playing chess in the bog on the taxpayer because what has the t*xpayer ever done for me
>>152547691crisp "sir" keir starmer
>getting convictwashed by these convict shittersengshitter tears taste so sweet
This is the last of the true #3 batsmen. Subhuman coward engshitters who hide down the order even though their coach asked them to bat up at #3 for the betterment of the team *cough cough joe the fraud poot* could never
No one's interested Zachy mate the cricket ended a few hours ago
>>152547695>Ranjesh talking about washingWhat would you know about it?
>>152547718Here you go convicthttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_cricket_team_in_India_in_2012–13
i feel an illness coming on, hopefully i'm too ill to do all the christmas stuff
>>152547728I asked about your knowledge of soap and water Pranjeet, why are you posting about some test series on doctored pitches?>Fucking Ed Cowan, Jackson Bird and Moses Henriques in the test squadGrim times
I'm not britjeet I have a functioning forehand
>>152547762You tell me convict
>kicked out fo a bar for shitting my hand an dthrowing it at the urnalWhy is this county so fucking uptight and dull?
would you guys mind if i gaypost here or should i keep it in /afl/?
>>152547412do what i always do when i have no internet: throw rocks at long grassers from my balcony
my mate shit himself at a club when we were younger, called his mum to pick him up went home got changed then his mum dropped him back out
>Australia’s median house price set to surpass historic $1m barrier in 2026"This is fine"
>wait two minutes>spot three odd images>verify email to attach image>recite the torah>pledge allegiance to the flag of the state of israel>pay for netflix>get the vaccinejust to blogpost that I'm downloading the aviator
I shart me undies once but they were my fav pair so I washed them quickly and still use them
>>152548010that's hatespeech. in the gulag
walking to bouldering
1 shift left
1 shit left
>one day you will take a shit for the last time
love doing poos, me
Is anyone here going tomorrow? It should be far cooler than today
>>152548545no but steven may
bought ice cream. I'm going to watch a film.
hit the forehand that saved Europe match point yesterday I reckon
Going into London tomorrow night for Christmas drinks
Gonna drink half a bottle of whisky on the train and hopefully save money on drinks that way
>>152548010ummits called capitalism bro
>>152547812wbat is he doingwiping someone elses arse?
>>152547164dont defend his mediocrity
>>152547577corr good kittingtonshire
>>152549225can i come
shan't be going Donedon
>>152549386Ok sure
/cric/ Christmas Donedon meetup 2025
>>152548545need a better solution to sightscreens. the hill's a bit shit when they rope off 1/3 of it
>>152549203ol bingo wings not a happy bunny after this one
bit worried about nasser hussain lads hes shaking a lot in interviews
>>152549406where we meeting?
his mask slipped off at Perth steamworks I heard
>>152549512london
all I want for Christmas is to be able to go back in time and kill the guy who invented the boundary rope
its actually kinda amazing that cricket is still a sport in englandlike do domestic clubs even make money?how does ecb even make moneyits a dying / dead sport financiallylike athletics
we should create a /cric/ battalion when russia invades us, at least we'll be together when we die.
sounds good and all but I will be fighting alongside the Russians
>>152549512Porterhouse
backpacklad still waiting for us to turn up at porterhouse
mediaberg keeps bumming York my bags are so pumped
call it inherited investment intuition
0.8 of a shift leftfeel like I haven't had time off in years even though its probably only been a few months tis the nature of toil. essentially incessant
can i come and live you with zachy
depends
>>152549203if you look like this yeah
i'd be a great roommate ngl decent wage work from home clean up after myself drinking buddy
but do you look like the pic?would only work out if you didbearing in my flat is 1 bedroom and around 50 square metres and I have no interest in ever being bed buddies with a bloke
>roommate needs to be blackbit racist
is what it is
Why are Pozzies so ruthless?
a one fucking bed flat forget it i'll go elsewhere
how was your film turkbro
/npl/ season over. Did not compare to the first season though. Hopefully next year is better and we get a couple of new venues. Pokhara would be a good one, but unlikely.
best 1 bedroom flat in the world good luck on your search
don't care what anyone says the sugababes were elite https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ7iZ-cxyA0
based Welsh bro wish I didn't have toil tomorrow
>sugababes turned 40 this yearfucking hell
>>152550279they're shit desu
they don't even have their 'whole again' ( atomic kitten)just dire. no discernible melodies
sugababes were the Dua lipa of girl bands
if you don't like sugababes your opinions means NOTHING to me
not known for his music taste curiously the Welsh are known for being a very musical species
My favourite Welsh musician was Ian Watkins
Bong bands are shit. Muh strawberry fields forever fucking gay and unc music muh oasis le angry we sound a bit like the pootles generic garbage muh pseud le scene bands fucking shithousecold chisel and acdc mog the entire bong music industry
up there with Rolf Harris
ah yeah that famous australian band musician uhhhh
Rolf did nothing wrong
If everything was styrofoam, love would cost a dime
>>152550706try rideNowhereSeagullKaleidoscopePolar BearSennenIn a Different PlaceVapour TrailParalysedDreams Burn DownToday
>>152549203>>152549203meant dating iykswim haha>>152548484>>152548561
can't wait to go south (home) tomorrow
my physical home is in Yorkshire of course
Don't have my piss jug on me and the roommate is taking forever in the john
watching the darts
punching darts for me
>>152551037not a sport (though closer to a sport than the BBL)
>unathletic Welsh genes
You have to be pissed to enjoy pro-darts
Bong Bashing League? It's a real sport
I have an extremely close family member called gerwyn
Nonce
piss off sebbo
*enters the thread*
They've got cars big as bars, they've got rivers of goldBut the wind goes right through you, it's no place for the oldWhen you first took my hand on a cold Christmas EveYou promised me Broadway was waiting for meYou were handsome, you were pretty, queen of New York CityWhen the band finished playing, they howled out for moreSinatra was swinging, all the drunks, they were singingWe kissed on a corner, then danced through the nightThe boys of the NYPD choir were singing "Galway Bay"And the bells were ringing out for Christmas Day
morning
>>152551316looks a bit like zachy and daniel from afar
>>152551123Have you had him over to your bedsit yet?
>>152551316is this a.i?
>>152551442nah mate
Crawley has played 10 more games than Don Bradman
>Britzoloid blogposting hours
Henry Edward Bird (14 July 1829[1] – 11 April 1908) was an English chess player, author and accountant. He wrote the books Chess History and Reminiscences and An Analysis of Railways in the United Kingdom
>>152551425isn't a bedsit it's a bougie one bedroom within the city walls
but to answer your question, yes
sinking a ghost ship
Question for boomers ITTis this ashes series what the 90s/early 2000s were like?
no one here will remember and ashes before 2005
No one here remembers anything because they're mentally ill
t. cha bling bla man
albert dryden was pretty fucking based
>>152551863GOTTEM
>>152548545Yes mate getting ready to head in now, 3rd day in a row. While it was hot yesterday there was a strong breeze at least in the riverbank stand. Unbelievably it felt cooler yesterday than day 1 thanks to the breeze.
>>152551810can remember way back until I was 18 months old actually have very good long term memory generally lucky I never got the insulin shock therapy they used to use on poor souls 50 years ago. Townes Van Zandt never got over that shit
can remember being in nursery me
I unironically think England and Wales will win this test match
>>152552028basedI have heard some l cases at work of people not being able to remember before the age of like 8. proper horrifying NPC shit
I dont remember things well
memory and IQ massively correlatedlong-term memory especially
reading isnt a hobby its consumption, just like watching a marvel movie
bed looms
bouldering is the hobbiest of hobbies
I remember being in the womb
Bowling attack of Tom Taylor, Beyers Swanepoel, Ben Allisson, Matthew Waite, and Ethan Brookes? Yeah, we're going to make the County Championship Division 2 look like an absolute JOKE next year
Consumed The Golden Road: How Ancient India Transformed the World (2024) earlier
>bowling attack
looks like the neek brainlet is in
Cant wait for anoter big snicko momemt, especially if it goes in favour of AustraliaLove seeing the poms seethe
>>152549339this is so britsebbo coded
sugarbabes were fucking shite Welsh bro think he's trolling at this point
con his way to laras record
had 8 cans of Guinness but going to bed completely sober doesn't even touch the sides
Pie mash and beans
surprise surprise drinky b gets pissed all evening (on a worknight), blogposts off topic on cric, and then collapses into bed before the cricket starts
spending my summer break sobershall be working on my projects from the sanctity of the family beach housegolf every day of course
>>152552867What's your handicap?
>>15255291513 right now, but prob be back at 11 by the end of summer - will report back
>>152552832based>>152552867>golf kys
>>152552931No I meant how fucking disabled do you have to be to enjoy golf?
Leave zachy alone
>>152552964gottem
>>152552964thats not what a handicap is retard
/cric/ - Zacharald discussion
Unironically think we are under attack lads can hear explosions
>>152553061Part and parcel innit
>>152553061just fireworks lads, go back to sleep
garn for a surf then cric later maggots
>>152553118beat up a new surfer for me lad x
Me? Appreciate golf
Cricket is a sport where a dozen or so men walk into a paddock and have sex with each for half the day, then they go eat crumpets or something, then they come out and have sex in the paddock again. Ten thousand people watch this fo a fee
>>152553126Have you seen The Surfer (2024)? Good film
>>152553170nah havent watched a film or tv show in around 8 years
>>152553178You should watch The Surfer (2024). Good film
>>152553191I dont own a tv :(
>>152553160turned into the giant from Jack & the beanstalk at the end there lad
where can i stream the cricket from im not giving sky sports any money
>>152553226It's on TNT not Sky.
>>152553226streamed dot pk but its not the kino aus coverage
>>152553193Watch The Surfer (2024) (good film) on your mobile phone, electronic tablet, laptop, or desktop personal computer instead
Back at Adelaide oval
>>152553246kinoanything interesting happen in the crowd near you over the first 2 days?
Unrelated but I've seen a fair chunk of speculation online that Steve Smith, and maybe Marnus, are both autistic? Anyone know anything about this?On an unrelated note, my mate plays grade cricket and knows a bunch of people who know Sam Konstas, and he says he's pretty much slaying pussy everytime he leaves NSW to play . Apparently slept with the Vic coaches daughter kek
>>152553226Also, if you use a VPN and set it to Australia I think you can watch it on Channel 7 for free.
>>152551473Both frauds
On court sesh tonight just a gentle one but everyone had fun. Unrequited had her name in but didn't come thank fuck. Might go to one tomorrow night or might go to my new footy club's holiday bash but think that'll be too deano for me tbqhTwiglet legs still hasn't found his balls but if he does i'm there on sat morning if he wants his beatdown
all tests should be day nighters
>>152553191>The Surfer (2024)is it just some shallow examination of toxic masculinity and xenophobia (i.e. white men defending their local beach from tourists)? >julian mcmahons dad was william mcmahon, the 20th prime minister of australia
>still hungover from 2 days ago
>>152553258wonder if he's ramped one up grace hayden's fat arse
>>152553341Touches those themes but also more and in a good way. Not some preachy nonsense
>>152553331unironically playing the tennis of my life right now and I have been playing on and off for twenty years you're a chubby doubles specialist and if I turned up to thrash you, you wouldn't anyway
>FORMER West Indies fast bowler Tino Best boasts he has slept with “between 500 and 650 girls” around the world — and his greatest conquests have been in Australia.>Claiming his fame turned him into a “man whore”, Best says he did not play a Test on a long tour of Australia in 2005 — but he bowled over at least 40 girls off the field.>The West Indian with a particular love of Australian women says: “The most beautiful girls are the Australians. I think they are amazing. They are into their fitness and have amazing bodies.>“We used to have competitions of who could shag the most girls on tour. I think my record, on an 11-week tour to Australia in 2005, was more than 40.>“I was 24 and I didn’t play a Test on that tour. I’d go out, pick up a couple of girls and take them back to our hotel.>“ A plush hotel with a professional sportsman — the girls loved it.>“Sometimes I’d take back four girls on one night. If that happened I’d have to call one of the other lads for back up to help me out.”
Kane Williamson has a low taper fade
>>152553363cheers, i'll give it a go
>>152553402Good man yourself
hot sweaty man sex
>>152553417but enough about zachy's time in bogota
had sex with 4 people in Colombia and they were all women (female)
>>152553448meet them at famous gay club teatron, yeah?
the amateur middle aged mixed doubles specialist sad at least he doesn't play p*del I guess
>>152553386>literally gave you time and place AGAIN>still pussying outTaxi for twiglet legs. But it's good you're playing sport better than the rest of /cric/ eng shitters
>>1525534551 theatron isn't that gay too big to be truly gay
>England have won 4 Tests in Australia in 33 attemptslmao
>aging non-white manlet brags about supposed sexual conquestsMany such cases
>>152553494>import millions of pakis>become pakis of cricketHowling
wonder if i have a time for a j arthur before the crig
>>152547296May he suffer greatly
Zachy and Shitjeet up at the same time again I notice
Imagine how close it would be if Brook hadn’t dropped the paki and snicko wasn’t rigged
they should rename it from the ashes to the asterisks haha
Cricket is the only sport australia can beat england at. Aussie rules is not a sport
>>152553518tino best was 5'8" and inseminated all our women in 2005
will we get a fourth day or nah?
LETS FUCKING GO
England will be good sports about it though of course. As they know they have no right to complain about losing anything due umpire user error.
mornin angle
>peewees still seething Have to shoehorn yourselves into a ashes thread somehow
>the poetry of mccullum losing his job on the same day conway breaks his highest nz innings record
any and every slut at a club is a walking petri dish
>>152553715conway will not make it to 250 and baz will keep his job
>>152553657umm sweaty? t20 rugby? the sport of winning olympic golds?
do people actually go to clubs? is it still a thing? i heard that young people don't go out anymore
need to pee
WHAT A FUCKEN SHOT3-2 BACK ON
Got a rough take of Jimi's LARS that i'm happy enough with. Too tired to have another crack tonight might habe to send this up to the vocaroo gods
Fucks sake need a piss up don’t want to get up.
train comes don't know its destinationit's a one way ticket to a madman's situation
>>152553657lol
ALYSSA HEALY is in commentary/
Women are so dumb and such whores that sleeping with a lot of them is nothing to brag about. It's like bragging about scoring a century off Will Jacks bowling.
>>152553780Fuck that slut (not in that way)
morning everyone evening too
women don't sleep with conservatives any more
If Mitch Starc retires does that mean Alyssa Healy never commentates again?
God I think if I was batting I would just go and smash lasagnaface in the face with the bat.
women sleep with rich men
>>152553774now do per capita
has Stokes forgotten how to bazball? honestly his complete abandonment of it is probably the greatest death knell for bazball as a strategy
Archer should be promoted a spot
>>152553803i'm surprised they ever did tb h
Lmao Barbados' brave Joffy A is engsjitters best bat as well
If we want boys to grow up to be brave men perhaps we should stop telling them they are terrible human beings simply because they were born boys.
>England are going to end up with a first innings leadBASED. Draw incoming.
Personally think England should pick me as I’m a better spinner than either Bashit or Jacks
this partnership saves England.
surprised archer had a batting average under 10 before this innings
>>152553815>Getting out going for fast runs batting with the #10 and #11lol, fuck that. Stick around for the not-out to give the average a boost.t. Bazball captain.
Wicket next over
>>152553839He’s a nicker
>>152553843>>Getting out going for fast runs batting with the #10 and #11Um sweetie that's what bazball is
The cashier at the servo was too pretty, now I'm embarrassed.
Hope Devvy C matches Lara on 400* to show up that cunt Darren Sammy for dropping Hindu /strongmind/ Taggy C
kino shot that. best of the test
Great stop
PATHETIC KANE
>>152553839Hasn’t played that many tests tbf
Don't worry guys, I'm the snicko operator. I'm just running a bit late.
>Bay Oval, Mount MaunganuiIs that the tiny ground where the boundaries are 30m away?
Oh KaneOh dearAnyway it's Rachin time
I think Kane is only 2 or 3 tests away from retiring honestlyhe knows he doesn't have it anymore, and will walk away in the interest of putting the team first as he always has
>>152550227corrrSAGARMATAPENGARSE
>>152553839Normally plays on pitches with life in them, not an Adelaide road.
>>152553876hurry up cunt they're closing the gap
>>152553843i see his strategy nowmake everybody play bazball so your stats outshine theirs and people in the future will say you carried an ordinary team and were just unfortunate to not be part of a good side
>>152553877>Mt Maunganui More like: Mount ManungaPOOEY KEK GOTTEM
>>152553877Still bigger than your cock lmao
>>152551810>>152551863>>152551924chabin' bla x
Kane the coward
Archer's highest ever score in Test cricket nowA little bit embarrassing for Australia?
>>152553884Gujarat Titans legend
I thought Green's organs were fucked or something?
>>152553905Wasn't ragging on your ground, just curious where they were playing to get 0/320 odd and people walking about 400* scores (although they seem to be collapsing now).
CARN GAZZA SCORE SOME FACKIN POLES
>all those empty seatsKek nice b-tier series you got there
CUM ON GAZZA THE WORKS BURGER WITH BEETROOT AND ONION
>>152553921>Smith and Ponting 'CHAMP' Archer>He gets 5fer the next time bowling>About to get a 50 with the batUnironically STRONG MIND and unironically a CHAMPION player.
bat well when there's a bit going on champion
>>152553954Work day still (imagine scheduling days 4 and 5 to be a weekend based on the previous match results, they'd have been shitting themselves) and a 50,000 seat stadium.Easy to have a full looking stadium when they only hold 15,000 max.
>>152553921more embarrassing for the rest of englands batsmen
>3/4 century partnershipConvicts are cooked
>>152553957wouldn't mind a works burger actually
get ready for a broken fucking watch
>>152554002Based greggo
NATHAN
This is unironically embarassing that they let Archer get to 50
archer is consistently batting better this series than half the batsmen before him in the order
I have crippling anxiety
Remember when Lyon used to be good?
If England wants to win they need to just get 11 black guys from the Windies
>>152554002What the fuck is a “works” burger?
>>152554018plus the inbound century partnership. shameful
Can't stand this TNT stream
>>152553389kek wtf
>>152554027remember it like it was yesterday
>>152554033i don't know how to describe it in curry terms, sorry rajesh
>>152554033Fish 'n' Chips burger with the lot.Pineapple, bacon, egg, beetroot, cheese, meat, sauce.Think that's everything.
Carry the bowling "attack"Carry the battingAs always eng shitters hanging off the coattails of the hard work of us browns and bleks
>>152554021yupim on his side vs stokesstokescan fuck himself
>>152554049forgot lettuce and tomato
I want to get comfortable to listen to this on the radio in bed. But if I get too comfortable I’ll fall asleep.
>have to leave for work in 30 mins fuaaarkkk
>>152554066corrcute kittingtonshire diss wun
>Net overseas migration has fallen to its lowest level since the Albanese government took power but is still powering Australia’s population growth with the country now home to more than 27.6 million people.BBL in tatters
GONE GOTTEM
>>152554066comfy cat
Some spin and bounce on that one. Jacks will be licking his lips.
>>152554075I have to leave to sleep for work in 30 mins>fuaaarkkk
Squeaky bum time
>>152553389>Height: 1.73 m[x]
>archer is the 2nd highest run scorer for engshitters this seriesHowling
Please help me.. i need help
>>152554116What he didn't tell you is that they were all fat and ugly.
Good evening. How is the cricket? Looks like England is putting up a fight.
For some reason my farts are smelling a bit rich tonight
>Letting Archer score a 50Pozzie bros? i thought your bowlers were supposed to be elite
How come Inglis keeps in one dayers but Carey keeps in tests
>>152554138they have a black man who is doing quite well
>>152554138In short convicts were 200 runs short of par but still made 100 too many
i blame captain cuck not bowling himself
Worlds worst bouncer >152554138Go away.
>>152554145We are trying to solve racism.
Smudge would've bowled this subsaharan himself.
>>152554145Forced to bowl fast on a 40°c day. Cooked themselves.>>152554147Carey was in the international team first so he became the keeper. Has done well enough in the tests to never be dropped.Inglis replaced Carey in the one dayers, so became the keeper there. When Carey got back into the one day side as a batsman they weren't going to suddenly uproot Inglis' fielding position so Carey is there purely as a batsman.Carey is the better keeper regardless.
Alright guys
Here comes Starc. Time to finish this innings.
I’m an anxious wreck
>>152554217hello
>>152554153Waiting for the new ball. Will ball next over after Starc.
>>152554148Must be what is effecting Root's batting.
Jofra's wife
>>152554232who do cticketsman marry these dogs?
>>152554217ACK!
>>152554232Mumza, no?
>72*>48*Moral victory status?
>>152554152In english, doc! We aint scientists
>>152554238Cricket is a pussy drying sport.
A peewee and barbadian mercenaries saving engshitters>>152554217Don't look at what James May has reduced himself to doing now it's tragic
>abandoning bazball when it's actually all on the lineCowardly aren't we, lost the narrative.
>>152554227Bit of Stokes about this.
>>152554238Because they play cricket. Its not like they are soccerfolx or something.
>>152554261the gin channel vids are comfy
>>152554232rancidated
>>152554253In short, englel are shit
the female viewing audience for cricket must be one of the lowest of any sport
>Smith captain first 2 tests>Aussies utterly dominant>have no trouble bowling England out>fastforward to this test>Cummins is captain>can't ask even Smith for advice as he's out of the side>suddenly Australia can't bowl the tail outI'm noticing
>>152554261Farmer, youtuber and ?
>>152554283But also the highest class of girl.>tfw no lily allen gf
>>152539683>>152539683>>152539683TOOHEY'S NEW
>>152554284bit in this
>popped collar reminds me of siddle hat trick
>>152554293>lily allen >high class
>>152554279That makes sense.
>>152554293>
>>152554294Cheeky bugger
my girlfriend watches cricket with me not because she loves cricket but because she loves me and my passions
>>152554284Cummins leaking runs so all pressure is removed, removing Starc's effectiveness.
>>152554273>watching a boomer make zoomer reaction videos about eating is funny to convictsIt's just sad mate TG was such kino
>>152554294You rascal!
stokes needs to clean his spikes
>>152554321>GirlfriendHaha what a loser
>century partnershipConvicts getting Eden Gardens PTSD
>>152554326May (and Hammond) have always done a lot of shit though. Their new stuff is probably worse, but not by that much.
Stokes is an alpha male and Cummins is a beta cuck
>>152554321>girl at work that liked me asked me to explain the details of test cricket to her because she wanted to get to know me better >had sex with her at the chrissy then told her i wasnt interested one day after work and she sat in her car and cried afterfeel kinda bad about that one
Put Marnus in.
I’m just so anxious all the time
>>152554346May is literally making reaction videos of eating sandwiches. Easily the biggest downfall of the 3. Jezza and Hamster are doing their things
>>152554361Why would you sex her if you weren't interested?
>>152554376He's a degenerate obviously
>>152554376dunno
>>152554369>See boys having fun>Women have to make it about themselves againHello I hate women
seething at this tail wagging lads
>>152554398Getting a real incel vibe from this post
>>152554412terrible action from the bowler there
This is turning into another Headingly situation for the aussies
Do you blokes enjoy getting arsefucked?
>>152554398Here I was thinking she looked cute in the cricket gear.
>>152554428Don't know, but I'd sure like to try.
>>152554428yes i do vote
Someone bake.
England have avoided the follow-on
>>152554428only by dominant women wearing a strap-on, i'm not gay
>>152554452>strap-on
>>152554453You now qualify to be prime minister.
>>152554428Don' think it's for me mate
Yea we're losing this aren't we
yes yes well done archer well done archerHOWEVER
I’m baking now nobody else do it
>new cherry>need wickets>deep point for a #10 Howling
Stokes will spaz out at 97.
GOTTEM GONE
STOKESMORE LIKE CHOKES
poor cunt been tortured all series
GOTTEM
MORAL VICTORY STAUS?
>>152554506too generous mate
lol
>Face 200 balls to try and get a not out>Letting Archer get the not out insteadHe's fuming.
I feel bad for Stokes :(
Joffy A should give Chokes a sendoff
STOKES MELTY
uh oh someone's having a melty
Angry little man isn't he. Kek
GONE GOTTEMIM AN ALCOHOLIC
Tongue in
>Stokes playing theatrics yet againWhat a poof
>>152554529credit where its due hes shown an incredible amount of heart. just needs to get rid of the coach
>>152554523It felt like Starc would be the one to send Stoksie walking. Lovely delivery, that one. Delicious movement.
stokes you're shit mate
Alyssa Healy fuck up you ugly pig bitch
Steve smith in the snicko booth is going to do it again!!!!
>take off headphones for ONE MINUTE so I can write out a racist /pol/ post without the commentators talking in my ear>tab back to stream>stokes is walking off>put headphones back on>ad plays
im baking
Worcestershire's brave Josh Tongue will probably get a 50 or maybe a ton
New>>152554560>>152554560
umpire pls baka
>ball going through nearly the entire stump >umpires call
How does an umpire not give that out?
same old pommies, always cheating
>>152554570Will be posting in this one rather than the shitty zachy / shitjeet one
>trading green for stokes
>>152554592>>152554592>>152554592NEW
non jeet trhead>>152554592>>152554592>>152554592
>>152551695No in the 2000's you just expected us to win every test and since we couldn't watch the tours of India we just assumed Australia was unbeatable. This bled over into other sports like rugby as well. Good time to be alive.
