Rock and a hard place editionNRL>GAME 1Melbourne Storm v Parramatta Eels8:00pm AEDST on Fox, Kayo and Ch9AAMI Park, Melbourne 1.83-2.84>Craig Bellamy looks to extend his Round 1 winning streak to 23 as Jonah Pezet takes on his former club in a new Eels halves pairing with Mitch Moses. The Storm enter the opening round aiming to avenge their 2025 Grand Final heartbreak to the Broncos, having previously boasted the best offensive record in the regular season. The Eels have reached the new season with confidence, rebounding from a frustrating 2025 to claim the Witzer Pre-Season pre-season title. The teams met in Round 26 of the 2025 season, with the Eels stunning the Storm 26-22 in a fiercely contested battle. However, Melbourne possesses an incredible record in season openers, boasting a 92.6% success rate and having not dropped a Round 1 game since 2001.Storm 1-12 2.85Storm 13+ 2.50Eels 1-12 3.75Eels 13+ 8.00Storm -7.5 1.90 Eels +7.5 1.90
stop making threads when you already have one you retarded subhuman faggot
>>153720735>>153720794A promise made is a promise kept
The Zac Lomax memorial trophy
>>153728063nah we need to have fresh up to date betting odds for all matches in the OPthis comment was sponsored by sportsbet
Shant be watching it. I'm seeing LOTR Return of the King tonight
>>153728154Tell that to Lomax
>>153728632Gamble responsibly
Why didn't the NRL just make thisngame a winner gets Lomax game?
I forget this is still Week 1
>>153730754real start of the season tonight
>>153730614Cause the peels don’t want him. They just don’t want anyone else to either, at least not without feeling compensated
don't forget to do your tippies before the footy lads xoxo
>poorm under bellache have never lost a round 1 matchbet accordingly and remember you win some you lose more
>>153730851She's a ten but goes for the Sharks.
>>153729171>Quickly books E8
>>153729171>Books E8
>books D8>t. 7ft tall anon
>books F7 and puts my feet up on your seat
>>153731565>shes an 11
>>153731709>1.1FTFY, decimal places are important
Things I WILL BE POSTING ABOUT while footy is on :jewsrefugeesmass 3rd world migrationlabouralbogreens(((the voice)))(((climate change)))race baiting when a non white fucks upgloating when nrlw players get paid shithow the nrl players union cucked to Vlandyshow based vlandys ishow cucked abdo the abo saffa is
>>153730851Nice but shes no Chapgoddess>>153726007
>0 (zero) NRL showbagshttps://www.eastershow.com.au/showbags?category=Top+10&category=Gaming+%26+Sport&pageSize=9
>>153731873
>shes an 11
>>153731889Seems like Penrith are the only team that has one
>Alex Johnston likely to be ruled out Souths just trying to save his record breaking game for the Good Friday game
Broke my stapler lads
Broke anons stapler lads
Anyone want to buy a stapler?
I wonder if the BroncGODs show bag at the Ekka. I wouldn't know, mum and dad only let us buy lolly and chip show bags because the toys were all junk. Based mum and dad in the end
Official /nrl/ show bag>2* frozen pizza>3* whatever chips were in special>1* pack of Tim tams>2* whatever blocks of chocolate are in special> Nrlw players sticker pack taken from Instagram>Novelty blow up ToeGOD Toe>Broken stapler
Forgot >3* whatever Kirk's soft drink is on special
>flyer for local asian massage parlour
I Remember a while back a few teams had some stalls up at the Easter Show and had their own original showbags that were actually pretty cool. Then they just decided to make whatever the kids membership pack as the showbag. Haven't been to the show in a while so I imagine they're all just generic now
This post feels like an Irish post without the VPN on
It's okay I'm German
>>153731873B A S E D ! ! CHUD KING
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDCMsHoTAxw
iggs
DO I TAKE LISATI OR JOEY 4CHAN? WHAT THE FUCK IS CRAIG DOING?
good evening gentleman.. and Lomax
I'm not a bad person...
>>153734461>I'm not a bad person...
>>153734461Shit like this is why Jess dumped you.
thanks to the nrl anon who posted the commiserations for dennis in alfhope the nrl season is enjoyable for all of youlots of love from your brother genny alf
NEW BASED WHISTLING AD!
Some dweeb started a rumour that Noah Martin is first choice for the Raiders right edge and now all the scrubs are putting him in their peemsThere are also rumours that Chan is ahead of Lisati in the pecking order but I can't trust them
>Some dweeb started a rumour that Noah Martin is first choice for the Raiders right edge and now all the scrubs are putting him in their peems>There are also rumours that Chan is ahead of Lisati in the pecking order but I can't trust them
>tips locked in>sc peem failing alreadyYEAH ITS FOOTY TIME
has anyone seen Ryan papihousezen since he got rekted by Walsh?
SPORTSBET IS DOWN!
>>153731954
someone think of the degenerates!!
PARRACHADS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT ALL THE EELCHADS GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME
NRL? Sorry I'm watching the Tilliies!
>>153734674based napper
SHHHHHH MATT NABLE IS TALKING
Sportsbet wouldn't let me put a SGM on but I did an actual multi
Why does it take years for a new team to come out
I LOVE THE FOOTYI LOVE THE /nrl/ FAMILY AHHHH
damn those jerseys are fugly
>>153734707Same reason it took years for you to come out
based (you) based me based /nrl/ family
I had a life changing same game multi ready to go but couldn't put it on because Sportsbet was down. I'll see them in court
>>153734597Didn’t the literal CEO of the poorm come out and say Chan won Katoa’s old spot?
>>153728154I didn’t 4get Let’s go!!!Eels or Knights or Rabbits Value for premiership winners
tipped poorm but would be fun to see the peels get up and break poorms record and give them the bad juju this season
When did de belin join parra? And didn't parra win a round 1 game against Melbourne a few years back in Golden Point when Ray Stone scored some fluke try?
ANYBODY SEEM LOMAX?
>>153734732Based rememberer
>>153734735nah mate that was like round 3 or 4 from memory
>30k members>like 5-10 Victorian NRL players since their inception Industry plant club
Has anyone asked Reddit about De Delon joining Parra?
>>153734738>>153728034
>>153734756whos that m8
HEEMED
>>153734756De Belin, sorry
>>153734756>Has anyone asked Reddit about De Delon joining Parra?
DRAG TH-oooooo
>Fell for the Hopgood meme
HEAD CLASH
Who here hopgood (c)
just cause he got fucked up doesn't mean there was anything wrong with that tackle don't bin him fuck sake
tipped storm but wish i swapped last minute, was ruminating on it for an hour
how many captains does your team have?
The big chinned cunt dropped in the tackle and got what he deserved ffs why should the defending peem be penalised for an accident
Jake Jewke
>>153734787
Can’t even go 1 set without the bunker ruining the game, clown show
Bellamy WILL get sacked before the end of the season
>letting 12 men score on youSure is Kalyn Ponga in here
RUSSELLGOD RUSSELLGOD RUSSELLGOD
>tipped poorm
Justice for Peels
future Bears immortal Sean Russell
He's got a fa'aLONG way to GO'o if he's gonna play fb full time
>>153734824KEK good one m8
Just got home and missed the try because my remote ran out of batteries
todd smith developed a oral fixation in the off season it would seem
Ah yes let the six agains rain down
He dropped that
>Ah yes let the six agains rain down
got a game on our hands
>6 moar>6 moar>tryDeath to all NRL Referees
refbot3000 has been activated lads
>>153734866Nah pretty obvious storm win
>the Storm honey standing and clapping
>>153734873based Abdo
>Russell try and Meaney goalBears looking alright lads
I've had two kids vomit in my classroom this week. Today's was a hectic projectile one, went a metre on the fly easy. Now feeling sick myself, fuck kids are rank.
Based Munster has made himself look like Pappenhausen so it feels like he is still out there
>>153734870>refbot3000 has been activated lads
>>153734884Into the carpet I hope
So the 18th replacement player rule still applies
yeah I don't like it already how are you meant to bet accordingly when its all secret
>double agent Pezet
Why does it matter when you're just giving your money away either way
whats the matter parramatta haha
GRANTGOD HE CAN SURFHE CAN TRY ITTTTTTTSSS HARRRY GRAANNNT
imagine one of your little angels being taught by some /nrl/ dropkick
oh no no Peels bros…. not like this
>10-4https://youtu.be/Sd5ZLJWQmss
>>153734911based MaGoo
3/3 looms lads. Also friendly reminder to put your tips in lads.
>>153734890Yep but some other stuff got a spray. If it had hit another kid they would've been dropped it came out that fast.>>153734906It could be much worse, believe me.
>4th tackle>6 again
>>153734917For me it was Don Moseley
6 AGAAAAAAAAAAIN fucking criminal nrl cunts
THAT WAS NOT FUCKING FORWARD on rewatch yes it was
>>153734935based me when my peem is playing
business idea: hold the ball
No one posts about coconut things when it is the white boy who fucked up.
20 mins in and that little Diglett fa'alogo has done nothing but miss tackles and stand behind the ruck ffs
poorm customers sound extra whiny this year
David Fa'alogo has been retired for a long time m8
FUCKING BIN THESE REFS
>>153734953don't forget jumping high and accelerating into the waiting arms of a defender
I don't complain about women drivers when it's some dickhead in a ute being an idiot either
That's fucking backwards you absolute fucking mongoloid faggot fucking cunt of a bunker
This shit is completely fixed
this game feels fixed. nrl are getting payback on parra for embarassing them in court.
>>153734958Excuse me they are called the Storm. Do not have such disrespect to professional athletes as to associates them excrement. Thankyou!!
HAHAHA the fix is well and truly in
>I don't complain about women drivers when it's some dickhead in a ute being an idiot either
>>153734979>HAHAHA the fix is well and truly in
biff looms
fuck off the cunts 4’8 ffs
>>153734986Now >>153734876 please
Fa Alongo looks like and old man. I thought he was young.
peels bros...
Howarth looks fucking huge this year
ez try
The undefeated pre-season champions being embarrassed
Could the NRL really use the 6 again rule to concoct whatever outcome they wanted?
>>153735016>The undefeated pre-season championsvs>The undefeated 1st round champions
They did it without the 6 again rule too
Imagine being a >90iq poly
Fuck that was nearly a replay of the Inglis vs yanks webm
greed ruins another one
Turned it off this game is over
embarrassing...
Kwab
>>153735038
ow muh head
DRAG THE CUNT OFF THE FIELD
Polys having sub 90iq is simultaneously their advantage and disadvantage in footy
>Every time a tackle is somewhat close to the neck or head, have everyone on your team overreact in hopes of a penalty Hate this shit
>(((independent))) doctor
We need 3 bunkers
>Mitch Moses arguing against the safety of his team mate.Cleary would never.
I think my IQ has decayed to below 90 due to isolation induced dementia
(((Injewpendant Doctor)))
Who bunkers the bunker
>>153735076please don't question the refs or the bunker thank you
>>153735069How are you isolated, you have your family
this 6 man bench is going to absolute chaos this year when multiple HIAs
HOW is Da Silva a fucking first grade hooker? Tigers dodged a bullet he's absolutely useless
In reckon eals will want to convert these opportunities into at least 14 more points.
"refball" and "get em onside" have been enshrined into law as hate speech punishable with up to 10 years imprisonment
>>153735076Coast Guard?
>>153735085Since I am not a team official I am going to try and not think about it.
>>153735095> team official
BONE ON BONE
penaltysix more try
>>153735088No one with a Portuguese name has ever been good at Rugby League
>penalty>6 again>6 again>dropped balla parra classic
that wasn’t a knock on ffs
Do you think there's racism within the coconut community? Do the caramel ones hate on the chocolate looking ones from Fiji and vanuatu
There is a concerning lack of elite hookers these days. It's why people are convinced Harry Grant is this all time great even though he actually hasn't done anything and how Tallyn Da Silva is a regular first grader. It's not outrageous to say that a slightly washed Damian Cook is still a top 5 hooker in the league
>>153735000Yes
>>153734735Bellamy has never lost a rd 1 game as coach of Melbourne and he’s been there since early 2000’s
>>153735125Thanks scoop
something about the Poorm 9 jumper that just crates evil cunts
Business Idea: sign a starting half that's actually going to be at your club longer than a year
Dylan Brown would’ve got that pass away
>>153728034>Craig Bellamy looks to extend his Round 1 winning streak to 23>Melbourne possesses an incredible record in season openers, boasting a 92.6% success rate and having not dropped a Round 1 game since 200113 hours later >>153735125
>>153735125Funny how the storm seem to benefit from the Mandela effect as well.
>weighed 145kg at schoolfatguts
>>153735132Whiney Knights customer, both Smith and Grant are heroes
Based whistling ad
fell asleep on the ol' chair again yep its footy season
Grant is OK but Smith is a fuckhead
My main take away from that first half is that footy is baxk
>>153735150wrong you’re conversing with a usually conciliatory Rooster customer here
>>153735161smith retired mate
>Peels losingBusiness as usual, I see
Feel like Richard Swain was a decent bloke
>grant on 43 with a line break and tryFucking grim. Have they just not counted a bunch of tackles or something?
Got word from mum today her cancer has spread and she wants to gather everyone to have "the talk"
43 is good for a hooker
>>153735167Sorry, “was”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xKXu_eL3IhE&list=RDxKXu_eL3IhE&start_radio=1&pp=ygUJVGhlIGhlaWxzoAcBHalftime music break
>>153735177thats fucked mate :(
>>153735125What is your opinion of NRL teams at the Royal Easter show?
Parramatta might score the first try of the second half and make it seem close, but Melbourne will sleepwalk to victory
>>153735180That’s about 15 if he didn’t score that try
>>153735125I SAID THAT ALREADY >>153731015
Thank you BSAs for validating our existence
PLEASE NOTICE US BSAS
yeah and I bet Mal Maninga’s brother was a real good bloke too
BSAs in the flesh
Drinking a stone and wood please don't bully me
Why do Victorians love Grill'd so much? It's pretty average especially for the price
>>153735240Is rose worse? I’m drinking that
NRL has its own winviz lads
aaron bellamy? just a nepo baby or is he legit?
Tillies beating Iran 3-0 if you were curious
there isn’t an aaron on the planet who is a capable human being
>>153735260wasn't and its pronounced IR Iran thanks
Gg on the win in baseball btw Ausbros
>>153735283>Chinese Taipei of all countries are number 2 in the world and we beat them >We have a guy who was the number 1 pick in the draft I really should keep an eye on Baseball I used to fucking play the sport
Please watch our sport
>>153735198I like the idea of each club individually coming up with their own showbag. Really there should be an nrl pavilion at the show teaching kids about footy and have some footy themed carnival games and stuff and a sausage sizzle (voucher for it in the showbag)
poopeematta fight for bottom 8
JOE FOUR CHAN
JOEY 4CHAN
>>153735301It's actually good, got into it last year
/our guy/
>>153735301>>Chinese Taipei of all countries are number 2 in the world and we beat themRankings don't always reflect reality though desu
Pezet is getting smoked. Storm offloaded him and then immediately expose him. Brutal.
they can take our freedom but they can never take our Witzer pre season challenge premiership
WE WANT 50
Papali’i >>>> Pezet
Parra showbag could have a discount voucher for Peter wynn’s and a packet of ribbed comdoms (purple grape flavour)
>>153735333So those ones taste good?
Chapman's arse on my cock and Lomax's contract in the bin
>>153735333*scans*real irish, he's talking about flavoured condoms (his fav)
>he doesn’t have /ourguy/ joey 4chan in his peem
>>153735333we should call you Showbags because you’re full or shit
>>153735322How many good games did he actually play before the hypejob? I literally only remember one from last year
Grant the wombat
SIX MORE
JUST GIVE POORM FUCKING 30 TACKLE SETS CAUSE IF YOU DON'T THE FUCKING REF IS GOING TO GET LARYNGITIS FROM ALL THE 6 MORES HE'S GIVING
>peelsthey're no tigGODs
>didn’t fall for the grant memeFUG
>>153735324
>he doesn’t have Grant at hooker K E K
Todd Smith and Vossy having a contest to see who can throat Grant's dick the hardest
Grant's Supercoach score is incommensurate with his on field performance
Eels are going to want to score some tries here
>>153735372>refball exists>thinks SC can't be fudged
Impressive grip
50 looms
TRY ON DAYB-ACK
Need a team full of moses'
>>153735405*Arthur Moses
PEELS GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME
Had high hopes for the Peels based on how they were at the back end of last year. Fool me once!!!
>>153735412Kek
Todd Smith is trending on X
Just remembered Moses Mbye played for the Maroons
>>153735314How'd you get into it?
Would you rather on Thursday night footy see at least one top six side play anyone or two sides that are more evenly matched play each other?
>>153735416Currently playing for the Ipswich Jets
Eels for the spoon again
Uncster is washed and mid
>HE FELL FOR THE GRANT MEME feel bad for him though :(
>garbage time season ending injurythe storm classic
>>153735422Illegal streaming site I use shows baseball games and I started watching
HARRY GRANT HAS TORN HIS ACHILLES AND ACL AT THE SAME TIME
>>153735423>two sides that are more evenly matched play each other?This one
Simply epic. Rip Melbourne's season
grant bros...
>Grant injured Holy fucking kek Storm and Parra both losing this game
Cory Paix YOU are a Queensland Maroon
hell be fine
much like Ponga I think peels play better with 12 men
Hopgood, in spite of his bin, is proving a valuable PPM guy
Kek peels
KEK get fucked Grant
QUEENSLANDER
>>153735464what does parts per million have to do with it
Welp
>>153735423 what would you prefer Showbags?
Jake Duke has done the math and has said 50 IS possible
PEELS COMEBACK STARTS NOW
>>15373539960 looms
Thinking the peels premiership window is SHUT lads
Imagine being a Peels fan right now...
If the Peels keep this to 48 they will go on to win the premierhsip
Please get 50 please get 50 please get 50
Glad Haz has gone off, killing me in sc
Eelsbros what are we thinking of this scoreline
>appointed to the role for a four-year term starting in 2025do you think he'll make it all 4 years lads
>>153735504Used all their VRIL raping Lomax and let with no cum in their nutsack, truly sad
>>153734662soooooo..... are you having a good time eelschad?
Fatrell
They'll NEVER let Melbourne have Lomax now kek
>>153735525y-y-yeah
>>153735514Comeback soon don't worry
I brought my boots if you need me coach
46-4 and they're still getting refball
>>153735506Still in this
>>153735541Kek
The one simple fact of rugby league is that tries win games. If you can't score tries, you won't win games.
does anyone have the parra feels wojak?
>>153735542>46-4 and they're still getting refball
>not wearing peem colours bad juju
Season. Still. Alive.
If storm can't put 50 on, I'm putting a line through them this year lads
>>153735565this, choke of the century
>>153735481The fairest way to do it would be have two sides that’d played on the previous Friday and that’d almost guarantee a top side playing too
OW ME NOSEY WOSEY
>>153735177sux when it spreads.... my step father is dealing with prostate cancer which has spread to his lymph and bones... the docs have given him 2-4 years :(
Stilllllllllll
>50>50>50Put a line through them
LOL... RIP peels 2026 campaign.
well, looks like parramatta's season is over
FUCK YEAH
F I F T YIFTY
Change the rules and make it first try wins
is your season ending in round 1 a good year?
>>153735587And now it's over
And we're down to 16
>>153735611based my SC peem
With the whole ladder
>>153735547Based knower
how does he do it?>ok go out there and win I don't care if I lose half the peem due to injury get the fuck out there and win meanwhile>its only early go out and do your best lads
>>153735622
>>153735583That's basically the same stage my mum is at. She's had lymph nodes removed and just went through treatment for it only to find out in her follow up scans that it's spread to her bones. Hope you get as much quality time as you can with him.
anyone here use starlink ?
Can't believe cancer is a thing
>>153735547t. poo curse tinfoil hat wearer
>>153735649Cheers my brother. Same to you. Hope one day they find a cancer cure... too many families go through this crap.
>>153735686>>153735649Bloody hell fellas, I don't know what to say
>>153735656It makes a little more sense when you realise cancer is basically the genetic equivalent of being a virgin in your 30s like me. Like despite having a good upbringing and doing well in school and having a bunch of good friends, one day the gene for no apparent reason just started being a retard who does everything wrong and all those fuckups just become completely unrecoverable.
>>153735177>>153735583Ah, that's rough man. Cherish whatever time you have left.
>>153735177>>153735583Very sorry to hear
Have a feeling the Broncos will get heemed tomorrow night
BroncGODS will not get heemed
>>153736092This better be a reverse jinx
https://youtu.be/9HuT44SzEugFuture classic
>>153735583>>153735649Is this lymphoma? My dad had that when I was a kid but he got lucky I guess because they gave him a bunch of experimental treatments and a bone marrow transplant and he ended up surviving. Got to watch the broncGODS win a prem with him last year, hope it works out for you guys
They have to redeem themselves after that WCC loss
Gonna be a tough year for the broncos. They simply aren’t very good now. Leeds would put 70 on them and Leeds are terrible
*scans*real irish, he's always seething and gets a lot of things wrong due to autism, Broncos were put down the entire season until they won the entire thing
>>153738523>>153738523>>153738523
