>anon, I require your assistance in rescuing my son Rya'c from a Goa'uld prison planet.
>>200551633GOOLD?
>>200551702Yes General Hammond, a Goa'uld prison planet.
>>200551774Goa'uld?
>>200551852There are many Jaffa loyal to the Goa'uld, but if I can get inside I may be able to convince them to rise up.
>mfw i wake up and still no 4K releasealso atlantis was shit
>>200551633peanuts and caramel
>>200551633I'll bring my largest handgun. It's at a caliber illegal in many countries, and requires this special gauntlet just to fire safety. Lead the way, Teal'c.
>>200551702:(>open thread>"GOOLD?":)
>>200552282I thank you for your assistance anon. With your help, I hope to one day create a country of our own for the Jaffa
>>200552399Joggas you say?
>>200552399I love Jaffa cakes, which is weird because I don't usually like orange flavored chocolate. But Jaffa cakes rock. Rock like the Kasbah of legend.
>>200552452I am not familiar with that human word. Can you explain it?
>>200552520you'd have to be a fool to not like Jaffa cakes
>>200552399Shal Kek nem ron brother
>>200552535They are Earth people who look like you, who travel by foot at a speed between walking and running, on the way to or from committing a crime.
>>200552520Kasbah was originally a God of the Himarilan people of the remotest regions of the Caucuses, who peeled the orange peel of the world back to reveal the flesh surface inside where humans could live. I believe this System Lord on P3X-069 is using the guise of the mythological Kasbah.
>>200551633“Do you have the cell number perchance?
>>200552837P3X-069? Isn't that the planet we got that note about?
>>200552766I have known Joggas among the Jaffa. When I was First Prime of Apophis, I passed harsh judgement on many.
>>200552938You busted caps in Joggas of the Jaffa?
>>200552919Yes and it's been locked out of the dialing computer ever since, but I have an idea. What if we didn't go there directly, but via an anonymous proxy? Like a kind of virtual private network.
>>200551774>>200551633why is he the only nigga with zesty eyebrows and eyeliner, but everyone else is just a normal lookin dude with a gold thing on their forehead?
>>200553132Main characters get more attention to their makeup
>>200553126I'm gonna need you to explain that again Carter, and remember not all of us have advanced degrees in physics
>>200553132Did he just show up on set with the zesty eyebrows and eyeliner?
Thread is legitimately kino
>>200553058I was a foolish Jaffa then, blind to the false godhood of the System Lords, but we must prevent Joggas in the new Jaffa country.
>>200552399Did you guys really get kicked out of 109 stargates before the tauri gave you a world of your own?
>>200552837Well Shar'i may not like it but we're going to rock some Kasbah ass.
>>200552171Atlantis was goodTayla was shit
>>200551633>nigger in jailTop kek
>>200553368Well, think of it like....using a fishing rod to catch fish instead of walking into the water to catch them with your bare hands.
>>200554152Teal'c is wise beyond his years, and understands that though all Joggas on Chulak may be Jaffa, not all Jaffa need be Joggas.
>>200555555WTF!!!!!!! sexts!!dr disrespect get in here
>>200555555CHEVRON SIX ENCODED
>The charges, tau'ri?
>>200555555Sholva! You will not deny your God such a get!
>>200555555
>>200551633A recruiting prime came our wayFrom the gate near town at the close of dayHe said, "My Jaffa, you're a fine young man;Would you like to march along behind a military bandWith dark grey cloak and a fine snake tatAnd a staff at your shoulder?"The Shesh'ta he took and he kissed the bookOh, poor Jaffa, what'll happen to ya?The recruiting prime marched awayFrom the gate near town at the break of dayJaffa came too with half a rodHe was off to be a soldier to go fighting for his godIn a far-off war in a far-off landTo face the foreign Shol'vaBut how will you fare when there's blasts in the air?Oh, poor Jaffa, what'll happen to ya?Well, the sun rose high on a barren landWhere the thin grey line made a military standThere was m4 shot, '90 shot, staff blast tooStaffs and bayonets thrusting throughPoor Jaffa fell but the day was wonAnd your god is grateful to yaBut your soldiering's done and they're sending you homeOh, poor Jaffa, what'll happen to ya?Well, they said he was a hero and not to kreeFor the two ruined legs and the empty sleevesThey took him home and they set him downWith a military pension and a medal from the crownBut you haven't an arm, you haven't a legThe SG teams nearly slew yaYou'll have to go out on the streets and begOh, poor Jaffa, what'll happen to ya?A recruiting colonel came our wayFrom the Gate near town at the close of dayHe said, "My Jaffa, you're a fine young man;Would you like to march along with a free men's bandWith a dark green coat and a kevlar hatAnd your staff at your shoulder?"The dollar he took and he kissed the bookOh, poor Jaffa, what'll happen to ya?
I've been informed that one of your members in SG-1 has come into contact with a parasite that lives in the host's ass and makes them gay. We'd like to take them back with us to study. And before you start with your usual objections Colonel O'Neal, I'll have you know I've got these orders from the president himself.
>>200555833Uh, sorry Maybourne, my ass is not eminent domain. And that's O' Neill. Two Ls.
james spader should have been in these
>>200551938>most respected elder Jaffa>work for decades to forment rebellion>manages to persuade two jobbers to join him
> Marines in space with cheap plastic guns larping in the same fucking clearing every other week.This is such an awful show. Z-grade propaganda slop. No wonder shitmericans love it so much.
BAAH!
>>200559590Come back from that!
>>200555555Nice get.
>>200560280I miss this lil nigga like you wouldn't believe
>>200560294They did them so fucking dirty. Fuck season 10.
>>200552520
Is this show actually worth getting into if you're not motivated by nostalgia? Sometimes /tv/ is right, like with Buffy and the Sopranos, but other times it's wrong, like with Malcolm in the Middle and Star Wars
>>200560343Yes, but season 1 is kind of a slog to get through. Every season after that gets progressively better up to and including season 8. 9 and 10 are dogshit.
>>200560343>but other times it's wrong, like with Malcolm in the MiddleLeave and never come back.
FUCK the zat gunsFUCK AtlantisI just wanted the comfy trips to different samey forest planets of the week, I dropped the show the more it got bogged down in its own lore and factions.
Tealc stopped being an interesting character once he overcame being a fish out of water in regard to Earth culture and phrases and I'm tired of pretending otherwise
Someone post the apu meme of John Shepard and the wraith
>>200561049Good episode
>>200561422I've been looking for this image, thank you anon
>>200551633F'ookn'o
>>200560315That was a bit lol whut? 30k years and *now* it´s time to go?
>>200552668Kek
>>200561514Chudgard didn't have sex, it's their own fault.
Indeed.
Close the iris.
>>200563309
>>200554028indeed
>>200564932
>>200551702>>200551852based goold poster
>>200563309>>200563905open the iris
>>200567253Clench the sphincter
>>200567665relax the sphincter
>>200555389tayla was shit for getting pregnant(same thing for the girl in universe)but she was fine and hot when it aired, only after repeat viewing you see how shit her char wasstill she is nice to look atalways have to mute her singing in that one episode tho
>>200551702fuck yeah based GOOLD? poster. made my day a bit better, ty GOOLD? nigger
>>200560684>FUCK the zat gunsyo what you have against zat guns?
>>200551633>>200551633Your son Rya'c is a NERD
i don't give a fuck about rya'c
>>200574450well too bad because it's a RYA'C episode
>>200554546many Jaffa would prefer exile over slavery to false gods
Anyway I'm sorry but that just happens to be how I feel about it, what do YOU think?
>>200551633>black alien dude has a son in prisonwow I didn't know this show was so racist
>>200577652Ask me tomorrow.
>>200551633I'm busy fishing.
Sholva!
https://youtu.be/dU4lYcN6zEY?
>>200558691>No wonder shitmericans love it so much.>mfw it was notorious for getting significantly more viewers-per-capita across Europe than North Americalollmao even
>You want compromise, how's this? Ten thousand years in the hibernation pod I wanted Ancient, but I compromised. I ate my own crew outta the other pods instead.
>>200574450>>200575381What even happened to that little bitch? Dont remember
>>200552399my wifes dick is bigger than yours jaffa
>>200584114I think Ry -ACK
>>200552303Hey kingYou dropped this
>>200555555Tek'ma'te?More like CHECK'ma'te
I'm giving the show a rematch, it's way better than what I remembered
I'm on s8 and Tealc with hair looks so fucking gay
>>200575479Holy zest
>want to do a full rewatch again>know I'm going to skip the "always skip"s anywayI'm a failure
>>200554586Fucking underrated, Kek>>200555389Teyla was cute and should of cured Michaels incel’dom by giving a little bit of Athosian pussy
>>200555555SUPREME get.
>>200557136I'm posting in their Discord (TM).
>>200551633Was he that ugly before he was an alien?
>>200577652
>>200551633>Page 10Well, with 90 new threads made per hour, I'm not surprised, really.
>>200588233It's OK anon. It's my favorite show and I still skip 1/3 of season one and the majority of the Chulak episodes
>>200577652I'm thinking about how many times you've asked me that, Daniel. Wait, what was the question?
