"Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been dead for thirteen years, but he's back, and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now! Has anyone seen Cho? When do I get the prize money?"
>>200734316>THAT'S MY WIFE'S SON! HE'S HER SON!
Why are the first 6 movies so comfy?
harry potter is for faggots
>>200734413>first 6 moviesJust say 'except the last two movies' you fucking alien-sounding jeet
>>200734457What a Negative Nancy
>>200734316nice repost
Damn i used to love harry potter as a kid. I was such a happy child. Nearing 30 now and all i think about is suicide and how much i hate literally everything.Could someone please make a post threatening to violently kill me?
>>200735554It's been reposted tons of times, new guy
>>200734316The fact that the ministry of magic accepted that cedric diggory died but didn't go on a witchhunt after harry accusing him of murder and instead just vehemently denied that voldemort did it highlights the shallowness of the story more than anything else
>>200735554It's called a pasta, fucking newcunt
>>200734316This is my favorite Harry Potter pasta. Yes, that includes "No!" posting
>>200734316They can detect if a wand has used any of the killing curses. Keep seething zoomers, you grew up with no kino and are jealous that we had Harry Potter, you will never experience the hype of lining up for books and waiting for releases. Faggot zoomers kys.
>>200737101*unforgivablekeep seething zoomer faggots, it feels so fucking good knowing that you grew up with no movies and will NEVER experience our lives. Fucking zoomers lolololol.
>>200737101>>200737194Sounds like a contrived plot hole fix that was never used in any meaningful way.
>>200737229Not really, they can check what spells a wand carried out. Simple as that.
>>200737101>>200737194don't act like boomersyou should feel bad for the next generationssome zoomers are sound but gen A is beyond fucked, they were the ipad kids
>>200735610You want to kill your self at 30? Grow up. I was suicidal daily from like 16-19, but at some point you just gotta suck it up and accept that you’re better than everyone else. Society is at fault for depression, because subconsciously children can see how fucked the world is, and it makes them depressed. Time to stand up and fight for yourself, build a life, and you don’t have to be the next fuhrer or Batman, you just gotta show all the normies that they are shit compared to you. Because if they were half as aware or not-retarded, they’d be depressed too.
>>200734316>"Why are his pants around his ankles?">"We don't have time to wonder who bummed who, the fact is he died from causes unknown and I should be declared the winner."
>>200734413>Why are the first 6First two.
>>200734316why do you faggots keep reposting this shit like it wasn't the major plot point both in the movies and books? nobody believed him, the media was slandering him, the government tried to lock him up and he only got away with it because dumbledor covered his back. he literally had to publish an interview in luna's dad's magazine to tell his side of the story
>>200734316>"HARRY POTTER DIDYA PUTCHER FUCKIN' NAME INDA GOBLET A' FIYAH!?">"No sir, I-I didn't!" Harry pleaded.>"LIAR! APOSTATE! BLASPHEMER!" Dumbledore roared in Harry's face.>"This cannot be tolerated, Potter! You have defiled the holy sacrament of the Tri-Wizard Tournament! Now all of Hogwarts is at risk!">The students' faces turned pale as a ghost, and audible whispers and gasps could be heard from the crowd.>"SILENCE!" Dumbledore declared. "Mr. Potter has committed an unforgivable sin. We all know what must be done. The Great Goblet's wrath must be appeased.">"NO HEADMASTER, PLEASE! TAKE ME INSTEAD!" Ron cried as he stretched his legs to Harry and Dumbledore.>"AVADA KEDABRA!" Dumbledore's wand unleashed the killing curse, and Ron's lifeless body crumpled to the floor. The students screamed in horror.>"SILENCE, YOU FOOLISH CHILDREN! SILENCE!" Dumbledore screamed calmly.>Snape seized Harry by the arm and dragged him to the Goblet. Dumbledore carefully took hold of the Goblet, lowering it from its pedestal onto a gold-trimmed square of silk fabric on the floor. Snape forced Harry on both knees, his neck positioned directly over the Goblet. Dumbledore stood over Harry. He and the students began to chant in unison.>"O Great and Mighty Goblet of Fire, grant mercy to us, your unworthy servants. Accept this recompense of blood, in exchange for the sins of Hogwarts. Let the death of this blasphemer satisfy your vengeance.">Snape unsheathed a ritual athame, and seizing Harry by his scalp began to cut his throat open. Blood gushed out into the Goblet as Harry gurgled in pain.>"...this recompense of blood, in exchange for...">The flow of blood trickled off. Harry was dead. The chanting ceased, and Dumbledore turned to address the crowd of students.>"May the death of your classmate, Harry Potter, serve as a reminder of where you stand. We serve the Goblet of Fire. The Goblet is our master.">"The Goblet is our master..." The students chanted, and chanted...
>>200737259I don't feel bad for them when they try and shit on our stuff. It still sucks that there is no good shit being made anymore.
>>200734316>Help! Help! The Goblet is on fire!
>>200737333check'd n kek'd
>>200737348remember that "just get a STEM degree, bro" meme?it created a huge vacuum in humanities that was filled with deranged leftists who are now in chrage of academia and media with no opposition whatsoever
Ever realised how the tournament is complete shit from a spectator's point of view? In 2 out of 3 events you are looking at nothing. In the second event you are just staring at the surface of the lake and in the third you are just waiting for one of them to be transported to the finish line, hell even in the first event Harry fucks off in his broom with the dragon so you don't see what happens
*Dumbledore clears his throat*>My dear Students, dear fellow teachers and dear Hogwarts staff!>Standing here today at the dawn of a new schoolyear, I'd be remiss if I didn't inform you of some new and rather important developments, before we become too befuddled by our excellent feast.>First of all, Gryffindor will start this year with minus seven hundred quintillion house points.*Bewildered students look at each other*>As I'm sure you want to know my reasoning behind this, let me move on to the second point, which, incidentally, will provide an answer for you. To keep it short and simple I... how shall I put this...*Dumbledore points his wand to his neck to amplify his voice*>I AM GOD!!!!!!!! I AM THE MASTER OVER LIFE AND DEATH AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED! HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU! WEASLEY, RON! STAND! AVADA KEDAVRA! MINERVA! STAND! AVADA KEDAVRA! GRANGER! AVADA KEDAVRA! TABLES TWO AND FOUR! AVADA KEDAVRA! ARE YOU CATCHING ON TO WHAT I'M TRYING TO CONVEY HERE? CATCHING MY DRIFT, YEAH? GOOD. MOVING ON! THE DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS CLASS WILL HAVE A NEW TEACHER, HIS NAME IS TOM RIDDLE, YOU PROBABLY KNOW HIM BY HIS MONIKER LORD VOLDEMORT. I HAVE SENT MR. HAGRID TO GET ME AS MUCH AS TEN BASILISKS WHO WILL ROAM THE SCHOOL FREELY! QUIDDITCH RULES HAVE CHANGED THUSLY: THE QUAFFLE IS NOW MADE OF A HIGHLY VOLATILE EXPLOSIVE THAT WILL DETONATE AT THE SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTEST TOUCH, THE BLUDGERS ARE NOW MADE OF TUNGSTEN AND ARE KEPT AT A TEMPERATURE OF PRECISELY 6,152°F (3400°C) AND THE GOLDEN SNITCH IS NOW MADE OUT OF FROZEN VX. SWALLOW THAT, POTTER!*Dumbledore removes the wand from to his neck*>Other than the aforementioned revisions in curricular procedure, things are bound to go their usual way, at their usual pace. And never forget: Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
>>200735554>repost
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zemklghd06g
>>200737546Nobody hates sports more than JK Rowling.
>>200737258>Hermione will never audit your wand Why am I even here? Just to suffer?
>>200737546when will you fags stop posting it in every hp thread
>>200734413You either were the right age to enjoy them up until that point of the franchise (which would make you abuot a '96 zoomer), or you enjoyed the school settings which is one of the best aspect of the movies (set design and music) and was absent from the last two movies
>>200737596and remember that harry is super gifted just because it's in CHAD blood
>>200734316Ackshually, it was Wormtail who killed Cedric
>>200736914literally why would they give a single fuck about diggory?
>>200737766>why would the ministry of magic care that the international cooperation tournament they spent a year setting up involved the death of one of the competitors as well as that of a major ministry figure
Harry, did I ever tell you about that time I used one of Lily's hairs as an ingredient for the polyjuice potion? I knew I could never be with her, but for a moment I could be her, to touch her in ways that would otherwise be forever beyond me. To know her intimately, to experience... well.James was never a gentle lover, Harry. He had all that pent-up energy after a Quiddich game, his body smelling of fresh sweat, his glasses fogged... the real Lily had told him no, not today, it's my period, but I took her place."Changed your mind, you little minx," James said as he grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, forced me to meet his eyes behind those almost opaque glasses."Now where, oh where is my golden snitch," he asked, seeking in my pants. He found it quickly, Harry. 150 points, and not a single one of them to Gryffindor.
'One BILLION points to Gryffindor!" Dumbledore bellowed across the dining hall. "Hahahaha yes you heard me right, one BILLION points!" The students were left speechless as their headmaster cackled maniacally. "And you know what, NEGATIVE one billion points to Slytherin! Yes, hahaha! Yes, that will do!" The jaws of the Slytherin table dropped in unison. They were struck in disbelief by what they just heard. "I'm the headmaster! Hahaha I can do anything! ANYTHING! Even this!" Gandalf raised raised his wand and pointed it at Slytherin table. "Sectumsempra!" Goyle fell to the floor, clutching at the wounds that had suddenly manifested across his bulbous belly. "Crucio!" Ganondorf cried out once more. "What's the matter, Draco? You look a little glum for someone that was supposed to win the House Cup today!" Draco's expression turned from shock to a frown, whether by means of the cruciatus curse or by own his destitution when faced with certain death remain unclear. "Avada kedavra! Avada kedavra!" Dumbledore wailed calmly. Slytherin students fell to the floor en masse. After near every last member of the House of Slytherin laid dead before his outstretched legs, Dumbledore approach the still conscious Draco. "Hell will always be given to those who ask for it, my dear Draco." Dumbledore removed a ritual dagger from his robes and plunged it deep within Draco's heart, ending the Malfoy line once and for all. The prodigal of Slytherin's blood seeped down into the goblet beneath him, which Dumbledore had saved just for this occasion. As the blood finished pouring and the poor boy could stay upright no more, the headmaster cast the child's corpse aside and drank heartily from the chalice. Through blood-soaked teeth, the legendary Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore called for the attention of the remaining Hogwarts houses one last time. "A toast!" He proclaimed. "A toast, to gamers!" The students raised their own mugs in approval. What a magical year at Hogwarts!
>>200736914>but didn't go on a witchhunt dumb fucking disingenuous piece of shit that's exactly what they did. have you seen the order of phoenix?
>>200737931>seenThe movie hardly focused on the ministry gaslighting the world about Harry and Dumbledore because Yates is a piece of shit hack.
>>200737891bruh it was discontinued because competitors kept dying. and the ministry is routinely shown to be incompetent and lazy and never owning up to their mistakes
>The Charges?
>>200737546Women can't write sports.
>>200738623Sports suck.
>>200738583>Harry Potter version of D.C.i can't wait for the 5th season
>>200734457>Why are the except the last two movies so comfy?
>>200735554>mfw Anon reposted a copypasta again
