https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=351Aa5q_S98&t=2s

>>201666223
I never understood why Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff cheer when Gryffindor wins? Are they simply aware they can never win so they live vicariously through Gryffindor?

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>DRACO MALFOY, DID YOU EARN A SINGLE POINT FOR SLYTHERIN AFTER THREE WEEKS OF EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITY AND PERFECT SCORES?!
>YOU DARED STAIN THE HOLY CASTLE WITH YOUR DISGUSTING GREEN FILTH?! THEN I WILL WASH IT RED WITH THE CLEANSING BLOOD OF APOSTATE SNAKES

>>201666172
HOWEVER

>>201666342
They just want Slytherin to lose.

>>201666342
Hufflepuff superpower by 2030 saars

>>201666599
>"anyone but slytherin!"

>>201666172
>>201666363
he didnt say that

>>201666904
Clearly his calm tones were too quiet for you to hear him

>>201666172
I'm so fucking tired of this disingenuous meme. harry literally btfo voldemort, that worth a million points.

>>201666812
its unreal how much dumbledore hated the malfoys

dumbeldore did nothing wrong he knew snap was going to thanoose him so he made sure his students suffered until then

>>201667010
That's why the whole house contest thing is stupid:
>"Yes, congratulations Slytherin, you managed to get the most points by... uh, doing your homework?"
>"However, Gryfindor, by which I mean Harry because it's always him, managed to stop yet another scheme of Hitler Sauron Wizard, thereby preventing two thousand years of darkness and suffering for the world."
>"Gryfindor wins!

>>201666342
I don't understand how Ravenclaw keeps losing. Is Slytherin just blackmailing every teacher?

>>201668536
I don't get it either, weren't they supposed to be the autistic geniuses? They should be winning every year since they must have the highest grades and non of them seems to cause trouble

>>201668448
The vast majority of house cups in hogwarts history had nothing to do with Voldemort and it's only fair to give some school boy some points for saving the school multiple times instead of working with the bad guy (malfoy and his dad e.g. giving Ginny tom riddles diary)

>>201668650
>they must have the highest grades
in harry's year the best student was overall hermione followed by draco in some subjects and harry in dada

>>201666223
bad choice of music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fN3xz1_BjSs

>students thrown into factions and passionately compete against each other for arbitrary points pulled out the asses of the people in charge
Allegorical

>>201666342
Gryffindor are the main characters.

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Harry should've been in Slytherin, Ron should've been in Gryffindor, Hermione should've been in Ravenclaw, Neville should've been in Hufflepuff and Draco should've been a girl.

>>201667010
Why do you hate fun?

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>>201669677

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>>201669677
>Draco should've been a girl
cringe. same with the rest of the choices, that literally changes their entire characters since the other three value bravery more than anything

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>>201666342
for the same reason I cheer when Israel loses

>>201668448
Oh Slytherin deserves points alright. 50 hollow points to their skull.p

THAT MICK HAS A WEAPON

>”It appears that Slytherin are in first place with 759 points. Cheers, cheers, Slytherin…” Dumbledore announced calmly, “HOWEVER, before I present the House Cup, last minute adjustments must be made.”
>a cacophony of whispers fills the hall
>”Harry Potter…” the aging headmaster said, stretching his legs from the podium to Harry’s seat. He stood next to the bemused chosen one, “what is one plus one?”
>Harry, completely befuddled by the question, answered tentatively. “Two, sir?”
>”YES! YES! THAT IS INDEED THE ANSWER!” Dumbledore yelled calmly. “TO HARRY MOTHERFUCKING POTTER, FOR YOUR HEADSTRONG APPROACH TO THE FIELD OF MATHEMATICS AND SUCCESSFUL DIVINATION OF A SOLUTION TO AN EQUATION, I AWARD YOU ONE BILLION FUCKING POINTS!”
>The Slytherins groan. Another year gone, another House Cup lost.
>”AAAAAAAND WHAT DO YOU KNOW IT LOOKS LIKE GRYFFINDOR WINS THE HOUSE CUP AGAIN!” the headmaster bellowed. From under his robe, twenty legs stretched out and started to curbstomp every Slytherin fucking shit into the table. Broken teeth clattered on the floor, drops of blood spread over the fine oak. “WHAT’S WRONG, SLYTHERIN? EVERY REACTION HAS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION AFTER ALL! FOR EVERY GRYFFINDOR THAT CAN ADD, ONE HUNDRED OF YOU DEGENERATES MUST BE SUBTRACTED!”
>After one hundred Slytherin students were gruesomely killed, all but two of Dumbledore’s legs retreated into his robe.
>”Would the remaining Slytherins meet me in my bedchambers tonight?” Dumbledore calmly concluded. “I have another leg to tend to.”

>>201669741
I see yakub managed to become one of his greatest creations

>be me
>Slytherin first year student
>the common room is literally a dungeon
>no daylight
>mfw they put a fucking troll next to our common room
>most of us haven't slept in days because of the noise
>a few days later
>dinner in the dining hall
>The fucking troll has escaped
>I look in Dumbledore's direction, he's having that devious glint in his eyes
>"All students are to be escorted to their common rooms, especially Slytherin fucking shits", he said calmly
>I know he knows I know he wants us to be killed by the fucking troll
>HOWEVER (how I began to loathe that word), we had to obey
>Slowly, we made our way to our common room, the weak among us crying while the others accept with stoic resolve that we might all get killed by the creature that has kept us awake these past few days
>We arrive at our common room
>all is quiet
>too quiet
>but there is this godawful stench
>we suddendly realise that someone shat on the straw we use as bedding
>every single straw bed has been shat on, and it wasn't a troll sized shit
>Suddendly, we see Dumbledore stretching his legs past our common room's entrance
>He shoots an obviously amused glance towards our beds and then towards our tired, haggard faces. As soon as he's sure he has our full attention he loudly proclaims "50 points to Gryffindor!" and walks away, laughing to himself as if someone just told him a very funny joke.

>>201670117
A fine addition

>>201666363
He shouted calmly.

>>201668448
>"Yes, congratulations Slytherin, you managed to get the most points by... uh, doing your homework?"
>>"However, Gryfindor, by which I mean Harry because it's always him, managed to stop yet another scheme of Hitler Sauron Wizard, thereby preventing two thousand years of darkness and suffering for the world."
>>"Gryfindor wins!
this but unironically and you also ommit the fact that snape handed out free points for his own house while deducting point from gryfindor for shit like breathing too loud or for answering a question too precisely

>>201670117
lmao good one anon

Snape had been unfairly awarding and removing points for years.

>>201670780
McGonagall was the only impartial and based professor in the entire school

>Dumbledore yelled calmly

kek

>>201670858
i am so confused

>>201666172
Sure, let’s put all the children buzzing with Hitler particles together. All the racial purists can eat and sleep within the same quarters. What could go wrong?

>>201666342
Slytherin are despised more than the black and Irish kid. You know they're real pieces of shit.

>>201670873
Someone’s trying to force a meme

>>201668536
Maybe they're like east asians and just their average intelligence is higher than the others

>>201666342
Tactical voting lad

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>>201668448
>Hitler Sauron Wizard

>>201666172
>Gryffindor alumni
>always biased against other houses

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>>201667010
>It would appear that through hard work, good grades and impressing your teachers, Slytherin have won the most house points and seem to have won the house cup
>HOWEVER
>There are a few last minute points to be awarded
>You see, some of you may remember that we told you never ever to go to the top floor or the forbidden forest because you could die and there were dangerous things hidden. Well I can now reveal that I put all of your lives in danger by hiding the philosopher's stone in this very school, practically inviting Voldemort to come here and try and steal it from me
>I suppose it was a sort of wizard's game of sorts. And you all were the pawns of whose lives with which we played. Well you'll be pleased to know that I just about won
>But, and it pains me to say this, I only won because of the efforts of a few students
>For breaking the super powerful charms and locks we put in place, I award Hermione Griffin 50 points
>For playing a really good game of chess that I promise is related to this, that I didn't actually witness and that put him in the hospital for being an idiot, I award Ronald Weasley 50 points
>And for making it to the final room and inadvertently becoming the only pawn that would have actually allowed Voldemort to win (hence why I put all those rules in place), in the end only stopping Voldemort from winning due to the deus ex machina of the love of his mother - and as an aside, if any family members of yours died recently it's because you didn't love them enough - I award Harry Potter 50 points
>Now you may notice that the scores are tied. Well, for being present, I give the loser kid from Gryffindor a point too.
>Oh?! Look at that, it seems Gryffindor has won? Well, it is what it is

>>201666342
That's how most parties work in the baby countries more than two parties, they're always sycophantic leeches.

>>201671554
based and slytherin deserves justice from this oligarchy

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>>201668650
>I don't get it either, weren't they supposed to be the autistic geniuses?
Ravenclaw is just a holding pen for future school hexers. Hufflepoof is a den of the servile and weak, slave morality distilled and concentrated into the house elf-adjacent. Gryffindor is full of morons who will get themselves killed enforcing the will of some goblin on the wizards. Slytherin is the house of men.

Also Chamber is the best movie. The darkness and muggle clothing and wands-as-guns spoils all movies after it.

>>201671681
the 3rd one also had that shitty marvel tier humour. Cuaron is a total hack

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it's 2024 and i just don't have the energy to make epic photoshop memes anymore so you'll just have to imagine this script instead

>Scene: Hogwarts House Cup awards
>DUMBLEDORE's withered grey head is suddenly blown off by a massive fiery shotgun blast
>STUDENTS staring in shock, then turning to look stage right
>We cut to see RICHARD B RIDDICK, wearing a Slytherin logo on his tattered, battle-worn vest.
>RIDDICK: "You keep what you kill."

>>201666172
You ever think the professors use the point system to one up eachother. Like Snape and McGonagall get into an argument about something academic and are all like
>10 points to Slytherin
>Ya well 20 points to Gryffindor
>Ok whatever 50 points to Slytherin.
>Fuck you a billion points to Gryffindor
>INFINITY POINTS TO SLYTHERIN YOU DUMB CUNT.

>"Harry Potter! Did you burn your name in the Sacred Ancestor Flame? Junior, you are courting death!" Supreme Elder Dumbledore said, his serene voice calm like a jade lake even as his killing intent filled the room.
>"Haha, a third-rate talent like you really thinks he can compete in the Three Sect Grand Tournament? Boy, get down on your knees and slap yourself fifty times so our sect can save some face! Five hundred contribution points are deducted from the Roaring Griffin Clan!" Dumbledore's wrathful essence poured out like a wave, cracking the stone floor beneath his feet and disrupting Harry's meridians. Harry was knocked backwards, spitting blood!
>”typical”, Harry heard Elder Snape sneer, just before the blackness claimed him
>”Potter has eyes but cannot see Ben

Hey I've got this awesome idea. Why don't we take these young, impressionable children, so tender and malleable, on the cusp of becoming responsible young adults whom we are shaping into the human equivalent of weapons of mass destruction and we expect to take over our wizarding school when we're too old to give a fuck, and then like, take a quarter of them, and call them all Nasty Squirmy Slimy Ground Crawlers, and we make sure all the other kids are instructed to point and laugh at them, call them slithery little bastards, bad, sneaky, evil, all liars and cheats, all those things you associate with just, the worst nastiest animal. And then during any official function, you know, games and such, no matter how damn hard these loser kids try, even if they're on their best behavior and get all the best grades in their schoolwork, we just make sure to adjust the point totals so these cunts lose every goddamn time. Oh and if there's any kids with like, really light blonde hair, make sure they go in that group. Trust me those fucking cunts deserve it.

It's gonna be great.

>>201671749
you have horrible taste

Yes yes fuck you Slytherin, fuck you Slytherin

>>201672025
t. children of men enjoyer

>>201669106
>followed by draco
Is this fanon, the books, or something else?

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>>201672025
There was one good thing about Azkaban.

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Yes, I believe I shall name my innocent child "Dragon Evil Villain Traitor". That's a good name. Only you know, find some latin roots for that or something, class it up a bit.

>>201666599
>#NeverTrump

>>201667010
>t. Least gay Gryffindor fan

>>201672147
Fanon. The only indication he’s a decent student is getting into sixth year potions, which requires an outstanding grade, despite being a shameless asskisser.

>>201666342
In the book i think it just says they were really happy to see slytherin lose. Kinda fucked up...

>>201672198
>character acts like he has something stuck up his ass
>name is Latin for "Bad Dragon"
BRAVO ROWLING

>>201666342
>isn't it bad how racist Voldemort is against muggles? The moral of this story is that even if people seem different or unusual, you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, like Hagrid, a giant who looks scary, but is actually kind and loves animals and li--
>WHOA
>WHOA
>A DIRTY FUCKING SLYTHERIN. *SPIT* *SPIT* BECAUSE OF THE HORSE YOU WERE ARBITRARILY BORN INTO, YOU ARE DESTINED TO BE EVIL! *SPIT* *SPIT* LOCK THEM IN THE DUNGEONS! HES A FUCKING WHITE MALE WITH BLONDE HAIR FOR FUCKS SAKE

>>201668685
The thing is, giving an academic award for killing a tyrant is dumb as fuck, it's like if they give me the spelling bee award for killing the leader of isis; one thing doesn't correlate with the other.

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>ALBUS WULFRIC PERCIVAL BRIAN DUMBLEDORE
harry whispered in utmost serenity
>DID YOU RUIN MY CHILDHOOD BY LEAVING ME AT THE DURSLEY'S DOORSTEPS WHEN I WAS A BABY? DID YOU ALLOW A COWARDLY HALF-VOLDEMORT, A KNOWN FRAUD, A WEREWOLF AND A SHELL SHOCKED VETERAN SOLDIER TEACH DEFENSE AGAINST DARK ARTS AT HOGWARTS? DID YOU ALLOW A 13 YEAR OLD KID TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME FOR SOME EXTRA CLASSES? DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH THE WIZARD HITLER? DID YOU KILL YOUR LITTLE SISTER FOR THE WIZARD HITLER? DID YOU FAVOR GRYFFINDOR AND FUCK THE SLYTHERINS OVER WHENEVER YOU HAD THE CHANCE? DID YOU ENCOURAGE 17 YEAR OLD KIDS TO TAKE PART IN A WIZARD TOURNAMENT THAT WAS CANCELLED BECAUSE OF IT'S HIGH MORTALITY RATE?

>>201672273
No, Slughorn's potions only needed Exceeds Expectations, not Outstanding. That's why Harry got into potions that year too.

>>201671752
Kek this is funnier than it should be. Here’s hoping vin gets around to shooting the new one before the end of the year.

>>201666172
Who give a fuck about the good Muggle point, it doesn't bring in any profit.
The day of the wand is near old Boomeur.

>>201672523
Jej

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>>201666172
Dumby rigged everything.

>>201672514
The Spelling Bee trophy is for correctly spelling words, while the House Cup considers all school activities. If a Slytherin student did something heroic to save Hogwarts, the headmaster would give their house a ton of points as well.

>>201666223
>My favorite part about this is that Dumbledore had ample opportunity to award these points before the ceremoney, but he didn't. He chose to wait until the last, most devastating moment to deliver this news.

It's quite literally the 2020 election counts.

>>201666342
Ravenclaw girls like Luna were virtually guaranteed to have hairy pussy

Vote Griff No Matter Whiff

>be able to learn the power to bend reality to your will
>chase a little flying ball around and drink goyslurp at the pub instead
What the fuck is wrong with the Harry Potter universe? Are they all brain damaged?

>>201673759
most of the wizards are awful at magic

>>201673759
What else would they do

>>201673759
Isn't it very heavily regulated by the ministries? And also, what you're pointing out has a pretty close real world equivalent in the real world in smartphones
>have a retardproof supercomputer capable of accessing the entire world's knowledge at your fingertips
>use it to irreversibly rot your brain instead by watching short videos of people acting mentally retarded
I and anyone else could use their smartphone to commit cybercrime to become impossibly rich almost overnight. But we don't, because there's consequences, same as the ministries and wizard gestapo coming down on your ass hard if you fool around with magic.

>>201673820
Devote their lives to learning to harness the power of the gods instead of graduating magic school and going to work in a fucking office? Enhance smuggle technology to rule the world and explore the universe? I mean shit, there's artifacts that allow people to travel through time and everyone's just going about their day like it's no big deal.

>>201673922
Harry Potter world allows the equivalent of building a 100MT nuclear war head in your basement though, the amount of force multiplication a single man can achieve is off the charts, unlike in the real world.

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>>201669677
For me? It's Harry and Ron in Gryffindor, Hermione on Ravenclaw and Draco officially joining the gang in the second book. Actually, I'm convinced the original intention was to have a member of each house among the main kids but Rowling scrapped it when she couldn't figure out a better way to get them together than the Gryffindor common room.

How many cunnys did Snape coom in? He was master of the dark arts in a primary school. Probably killed himself at the end cos his balls had turned to dusk. Poor bastard.

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>>201669677
Prince of Slytherin was so good until that fucking idiot author got brainwashed by his own discord server and turned every other character into a fag or diva minority

>>201673759
>have access to all the knowledge of the entire world, more knowledge than entire civilisations have warred over and died for, in the palm of your hand in an instant
>spend all day shitposting on an Ethiopian comicbook imageboard
What the fuck is wrong with 4chan shitposters? Are they all brain damaged?

>>201673933
genuine question, are you 13?

>>201674097
Yes.

>>201674093
There has never been a good (non-porn) fanfic. Prove me wrong. They are fucking always just some pseud wannabe author huffing their own farts.

>>201674210
The Metropolitan Man is good but it kinda shits the bed at the end + omitted cool, classic Superman powers like heat vision and ice breath while massively increasing the power of his hearing and x-ray vision for the sake of convenience. You take what you can get I guess.

>>201674210
Seventh Horcrux is good, it's basically one big dumbledorepost

>>201673759
muggles hate how little it takes to make wizards happy

>>201672384
>>isn't it bad how racist Voldemort is against muggles?
>MUGGLE
Consonant vowel G G consonant vowel
>NIGGER
Consonant vowel G G vowel consonant
Incredible that it took saying men are men and women are women for that Rowling bitch to get hated.

>Sorting hat puts Draco in Slytherin before it even touches him
Dude RADIATED aura

>>201674479
that smug smile was kino. felton was a good child actor ngl

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>>201670117

I saw Albus Dumbledore at a potions store in Hogsmeade yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a filthy mudblood and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you're Dehing now?"
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going crucio! Crucio! CRUCIO!! and waving his wand towards anything green. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like a thousand house points in his hands without paying.
The witch at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to have been hit with a memory erasing charm and not understand her, but eventually he stretched his legs and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the points and started awarding it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to award them each individually “to prevent any snake fucking slytherin scum infetterence,” and then turned around and hexed a Hufflepuff. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each point and put them in the hourglass and started to say the totals, he kept interrupting her by screaming "YES YES WELL DONE SLYTHERIN WELL DONE SLYTHERIN HOWEVER" calmly

>”Harry Potter” Dumbledore read
>a terrible silence rang through the great hall. It seemed a great wind was blowing through the students, with rippling patterns disturbing the lines of tables. Dumbledore stood stock still, the flames of the Goblet casting his face in an eerie light.
>”Harry.... Potter” he said again, his voice lowering into a deadly hiss
>Dumbledore’s eyes slowly rose to lock on to Harry, and to all those who could bear to meet that terrible gaze, they seemed to be raging with an unholy flame
>”HARRY POTTER!!!!!!” He bellowed, and with that tranquil battle cry, the ancient warlock’s legs stretched, sending him leaping over the high table and landing among the slytherins, his eyes locked on the presumptuous gryffindor the whole while
>screams erupted as his feet crushed several unfortunate first years into unpleasant murals, but the desperate attempts of the students to escape only fed the serene bloodlust that had overcome their headmaster
>dumbledore’s wand flashed and several students barring his way to the gryffindor table were instantly vaporised, but not all were so lucky.
>Malfoy, who had accidentally blundered into the headmaster’s path, had naught but the beatific spittle coming from dumbledore’s mouth to warn him before the aged sorcerer lower jaw unhinged, and he was swallowed whole

>>201675331
>ignoring the dismembered students and the thrashing in his distended throat, Dumbledore stormed up to the gryffindor table. The Lions, contrasting the petrified ravenclaws and terrified slytherins, were stoically accepting their fate. Presumably Hufflepuff was doing something too
>dumbledore’s charge slowed as he approached his target
>blood leaked out of his mouth and down his beard, marring his beautiful robes, grotesquely highlighting his very obvious erection and quite ruining the remaining Bouillabaisse in hermione’s bowl
>his target finally in sight, The Headmaster finally allows himself to speak again
> “DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?!?!” He said calmly
>preparing himself for death, and wiping bits gore and of blonde hair from his face, Harry managed to squeak out a denial
>briefly swallowing to foil Draco’s latest bid for freedom, Dumbledore followed up by calmly demanding “DID YOU ASK AN OLDER STUDENT TO PUT YOUR NAME IN FOR YOU?!”
>”no!” Harry said, determined to end this hell, one way or another
>Dumbledore’s gaze didn’t waver, and for a long minute Harry thought his time was up
>finally, Dumbledore broke his gaze, and, in a tone of disgust, muttered “join the champions, Harry. Fifty points from slytherin”

>>201673505
>and then, for no reason whatsoever, Slytherin helped Voldemort get into power

>>201673759
ofcourse a muggle like yourself wouldnt get it

Why do all of these texts involve him stretching his legs
haven't read the books btw if it's from those

>>201675772
the phrase repeats several times in the books but people memed it as if it's in every chapter

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>>201675772
its from a Harold Bloom article on HP
>What’s happening is part of a phenomenon I wrote about a couple of years ago when I was asked to comment on Rowling. I went to the Yale bookstore and bought and read a copy of “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.” I suffered a great deal in the process. The writing was dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character “stretched his legs.” I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling’s mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing.
that turned into a /lit/ copypasta

>>201675772
The dullest franchise pasta. The first half is Bloom’s infamous passage where, among other things, he outright lies about how many times he read the term stretched his legs used instead of walking.
It got picked up because since it’s used a grand total of once in the book he was talking about, and both sparingly and literally in the rest of the series, it was such a bizarre thing to lie about

>>201675864
>>201675891
>>201675919
Kek, figured it'd be something like that
Odd thing to lie about though

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>>201674210
Educate yourself

>>201675932
that's just how he writes in most of his criticisms. but he is right about jkr being very limited in her writing. she overuses a lot of phrases in the HP novels

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>>201676039
kino

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>>201676039
>"YOU RETARDED MORON!" I yellled as I repeatedly kicked Bagman in the balls with my sex bright steilletos. He started to cry pathetically.
>"I'm sorry, but Bagman will not be hosting like planned," said Dubmledore seriously. "He's been fired and sent to St. Mungo's because it turns out he's retarded."
>AN: I do have consideration for the mentally ill. That's why I made Crystal feel bad for what they did to Bagman. She didn't know he was retarded back then. I made him retarded because it was the only way I could explain why he did something so stupid without making him evil. I got the idea from Crystal calling him a retarded moron. I didn't mean to be offensive. Bagman only went to Ron Raper because he was retarded and NOT because he was sexist.
>AN: I did NOT use the offensive word "retard", I just said Bagman was retarded. How is it offensive to use a medical term to refer to someone who has that problem?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfEaDp0To3E

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>>201674210
You're wrong, My Immortal exists and it is fantastic.

>>201676691
I miss the internet wild west

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>>201676039
>"I had my fingers crossed behind my back"

Fuck that old homo, glad he got killed!

t. Slytherin autist

>>201670846
>only impartial professor in the school contributes absolutely nothing in the end
it's allegorical

What was the Ministry's tax policy?

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>>201666172
so no one is gonna call OP out for being a fag? that's the most uninspired post I've ever witnessed. pure cringe. lurk moar nigger

>>201666342
they are good guy NPCs

>>201670117
the common room has windows to the underwater part of the great lake, actually sounds comfy

>>201669998
rofl

>>201671554
cope nigger

>And lastly, 10 points will be awarded to Gryffindor for every day I held fast to my NoFap Pledge
>…
>SLYTHERIN WINS THE HOUSE CUP!

>>201671681
>wands-as-guns
it worked aways like this in Harry Potter. besides, there are counterspells which makes it more interessting.

>>201666342
In the first book it was because Slytherin had won over and over again. By book 3 it stops making sense because their streak is over and now Gryfyndor is always winning.

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>>201666172
>new HP tv show comes out
>Harry is now a pajeet
>Hermione is now black
>Ron is still irrelevant
>Dumbledore is still gay
>Draco is still straight, white and male

Slytherinchads will keep winning.

>>201672295
Was that site a thing in 1997?

>>201676039
holy kino
read the whold thang

>>201681456
PANSY A CUTE

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>>201681921
10/10 in bongland

>>201674515
he was, I think, the only one who had done acting before the HP movies. but only for advertisements and short stuff

>>201675864
it actually doesn't repeat much in the books

>>201666223
I was laughing at this then I realised that the leftovers is 10 years old this year.. where did the time go bros

>>201672523
>DID YOU ALLOW A 13 YEAR OLD KID TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME FOR SOME EXTRA CLASSES?
Weird that never came up again. You think it would be helpful. I mean for how much people bitch about the LoTR eagles they're at least sentient creatures who can willfully decline and are susceptible to the magical influence and corruption of the ring thus making them an unreliable solution especially given the nature of the quest being unknown to Sauron so flying an army of massive birds into a den of flying fell dragon beasts not being much help either. But yeah no let's ignore the Delorian in the room.

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>>201671681
>snake boys salty over Hufflechad becoming school champion

Keep seething

>>201683827
For all her faults Rowling had the sense to at least made the time travel "deterministic"( as in you might prevent something that could happen but you can't change something thar has already happened) so it doesnt open as many plot holes as one would think
But she got triggered about people complaiing so she wrote all time turners getting destroyed at the end of book 5

>>201669606
>Gryffindor are the main characters.

Everyone realizes that but they really could have made it way less transparent. There's a quip from the rifftrax recording for one of the movies when they're playing quidditch that about sums it up well.
>Does anyone know what we're supposed to be doing out here
>I dunno just fly around and wait for Harry's team to win.

>>201682832
She cleans up nicely when Rowling doesn't have sway over the makeup department.

>>201668536
Ambition is supposed to be one of the traits of Slytherin, so I assume Slytherins are tryhards that actually put effort into academics as well as well as extracurriculars (and also aren't above cheating or using underhanded methods to get ahead).

>>201684404
Yeah, I always liked PoA and the time travel was handled well but even if you forget the questions it raises about it being never used when shit got real giving a child access to it just so she could earn some extra credits is just too dumb. It's not like Hermione was the brightest kid ever in the school

>>201669998
>“TO HARRY MOTHERFUCKING POTTER, FOR YOUR HEADSTRONG APPROACH TO THE FIELD OF MATHEMATICS
top kek

>>201683427
He was in a lot of movies actually, some Borrowers thing based on a book and a King and I style shot on location film in India.
>t. read his biography on a plane once

>>201671554
>and as an aside, if any family members of yours died recently it's because you didn't love them enough
kino

>>201668448
Nah Snape was just a petty seething fag actively sabotaging every other house by taking inordinate amount of points for arbitrary reasons.

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>>201675137
>Oh, like you're Dehing now?

>>201674093
You mean that shitty fanfiction that more than a million words and close to 10 years later still hasn't even caught up with the fucking prologue?

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>>201669998
This is the reason why I keep coming back to this shithole

>>201668650
I think Quidditch scores really tip the balance no matter how many right answers you get in class or whatever

>>201675331
>and he was swallowed whole
kek, wtf

>>201685482
So instead of addressing the staff member that is abusing the system you just decide to abuse it yourself even harder

>>201666172
>Had to compensate becaus of Snapes favoritism toward his house students

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what did they mean by this?

>>201685733
An office is a room or series of rooms that are rented out by people or businesses to conduct business. Normal office hours are 9-5ish, depending on your field. If you graduate from wage slaving, you'll probably work in an open floor office.

>>201668650
Flitwick is an autistic genius too, he's not going to give out points to his students like Snape does

>>201669677
Rowling's original plan was Harry in Gryffindor, Ron in Hufflepuff, Hermione in Rawenclaw, and Malfoy in Slytherin but juggling the characters that way would have gotten too complex, especially for a children's book

>>201686233
I didn't got to British boarding school but is it normal practice to have boys and girls in the same house? I'd surmise there would at least be some set of separate sorority situation.

>>201686334
Labour destroyed boarding, any really any private education*

*private education actually used to be called "Public" education, the schools were public in the sense that anyone from the general public could go there - if they could afford it. Whereas, a non-public school was determined by proximity or catchment.

Harry Potter is set just prior to a Labour (Tony Blair whose contemporary was George W Bush) victory - that's why the books, and the initial films, still look relatively English.

To answer your actual question though, most boarding schools in general were split by sex almost entirely - so the house division was irrelevant. My dad went to a fairly prestigious one and actually accidentally stole their house swimming cup by being awarded it any never giving it back.

>>201675864
>>201683553
In fact it occurs exactly ONCE in the entire series (during the prologue of the first book where Vernon goes to stretch his legs and bumps into some wizards on the street)

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>>201685589
The fuck are you talking about? It's on book 4 now. Granted, the release schedule has slowed to a crawl and I haven't really followed it since he made that one chapter that's entirely just the author seething at the possibility of Rita Skeeter being meant to be an annoying tranny in the original books(thoughts conjured up by the utterly deranged).

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>>201686976
>book 4 now
>story prologue is set at the end of book 4.
grim.

>>201688460
Oh, I completely forgot about this. You're right.

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How did Harry Potter end up not dying again?

>>201671554
underrated kek

What the fuck does winning the house cup even mean? Do you get anything? Did Snape miss out on is annual bonus or some shit?

>>201686505
>My dad went to a fairly prestigious one and actually accidentally stole their house swimming cup by being awarded it any never giving it back.
Nice.
>Wow dad you won the swimming cup!
>I have it, that's what matters.

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>>201685646
Exactly

>>201689234
Presumably it's an annual show of excellence and superiority. Realistically most kids probably went back to their business of playing magic the gathering or whatever and any time someone tried to brag about their cub they got called a retard faggot because seriously we all go to the same school butt much.

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>>201685646
What part of WIZARD are you not getting? The whole school is duplicitous. And these are just the ones you actually see doing stuff. You don't want to know what Mcgonagallis up to.

>>201670117
>stretching his legs
One more mark on the back of the envelope.

>>201668536
Snape is a cunt and abuses his powers to give and take points to favor Slytherin
they also have a good Quidditch team and somehow those points come into play irc

>>201673991
ok whats this 100MT nuclear war head equivalent in the harry potter universe?

>>201674093
it's shit but it somehow gets shilled in all of these threads
one of the only good fanfictions I've ever read and only good Slytherin Harry one was Magical Relations which has Dudley also get a letter to Hogwarts and gets into Gryffindor which makes Harry seethe and pick Slytherin. It's good because all of the characters keep their personalities while being in different circumstances, Harry befriends Filch instead of Hagrid for instance

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>>201683427
radcliffe had done the most I think

>>201675512
fuck I hate how I literally imagined Voldemort as Donald Trump, politics given me so much brainrot lmao

>>201691013
making him a blatant parody of trump would actually be kind of funny
>we've got the best dementors, I'm the told the absolute best, sleepy Dumbledore can't keep up our dementors

>>201680935
Given how much Harry complains about the wind, cold, heat and storms in Gryffindor Tower I'd say that Slytherin has the best common room

>>201688821
when voldy killed harry's mom in front of harry, harry became a recipient for a piece of voldy's soul

then, when voldy casted death on harry, voldy's soul fragment tanked the spell rather than harry himself (for some reason)

>"Welcome all to another year"
>"As you recall before this I first visited each class, last of which was Slytherin"
>Students already eyeing the vacant table
>"Let me assure you they are not asbent and they-"
>Dumbledore pauses as if in pain, yet grimacing rather than wincing
>"They intend to arrive exactly when they mean to"
>A large groan is heard from the front of the room
>The hunched Ganondore helps himself up onto a table
>A visible distension can be surmised from under his robes
>"And that time has come!"
>Dumblr took a birthing position hitching up his robes revealing his saggy centenarian sausage and sack
>Students and faculty erupt in a mass of darting eyes and interjections
>The chaos broke with Ron crying "Look!" who had the misfortune to first spy what had commenced in the headmaster's chamber of secrets
>A snitch-like, golden crowning of hair belonging to the son of Lucius portruded from Merlin's portkey
>"Let this be the first lesson of the year" Alvin bellowed softly
>"Even magic has its limits, like the Capacious Extremis charm!"
>The wizards weathered and wrinkled waistline began warping
>"But it can be extended with a complementary spell, like Reducio"
>Malfoy's head now fully portruding from the coot's cavernous colon his class was captured in
>"How about a practical application of another pair of spells?"
>Dumbledore pointing his wand at his grossly distended belly
>"PROTEGO MAXIMA! BOMBADA!"
>A deafening thwoom silenced all other noise in the rauchous hall
>All eyes were on Draco now souring through the air as the shrinking charm wore off
>"BOMBADA!"
>More bodies escaped the magicians manhole, littering the room, mostly aimed at Huffelpuff
>Some already lifeless from suffocation
>"BOMBADA! BOMBADA MAXIMA!"
>'Peace' returned once all pupils were projected from the poofter's poophole
>His flappy floo network still smoking
>"To mister Draco Malfoy, surviving only with the bubble-head charm and the will to live"
>"I award Slytherin, no points. Bye"

>>201668448
you say that like it's a bad thing
Slytherin's seethe because they want wizard Hitler back but everyone else is fine to take the L in exchange for respite from dark wizards

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>>201671554
just how shit goes man

>>201671778
no teachers are expected to be reasonable and non-partisan. Snape is a bit of a cunt but never pushes it to the point where Dumbledore has to tell him to fuck off and McGonagall has shown she doesn't give a fuck and will rape Gryffindor points if you fuck around

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>In light of recent years it has become ever more apparent that we need a tighter screen process in selecting new senior staff. To that end I and the other faculty would like to introduce our new defense against the dark arts teacher, Professor Thulsa Doom.

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>>201681456
>new HP tv show
>everyone is white except Chang Chong
>Colin Creevey is expelled for being a tranny

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>>201666172
>Ron Weasley huh… your entire personality is being a coward… I should assort you to the house whose whole shtick is about being brave
>Hermione… very smart and studious just like Ravenclaw’s entire shtick… GRYFFINDOR!
What the fuck was his problem?

>>201691835
I think it's more that Voldemort offered to let his mother live and it was a genuine offer because Snape requested it of him. She chose to die to defend her son which triggered some bullshit ancient magic so when Voldemort tried to kill Harry the spell instead backfired on him. Because he had broken his soul so many times it just came out in pieces and a bit went to the nearest living thing which was Harry

>>201674677
dds

>>201692371
truth is you can just ask him and he'll hook up whatever house you want he doesn't give a fuck
they just meme that you have to wait for a decision so Hufflepuff doesn't empty out

>>201692601
That’s probably how Cedric ended up there

>>201666172
>meme is he subtlety screws Slytherin, with an anti-semitic or transphobic wink to the reader
>ESL's try and emulate it
Did you get ChatGPT to write this you dumb fuck?

>>201666172
Why exactly did the wizarding world have an entire quarter of the most prestidgious magic school dedicated to raising and developing complete and utter assholes? Most of whom have ended up in the history books for being stupidly evil?

>>201666223
I only came in to see if this was here
It was
fpbp

>>201666172
in a half an hour I'll be back in home eating the meat
count on it

>>201666223
lmao Potter's shiteating grin in that moment was probably seared into Draco's mind forever, if Dumbledore hadn't been a dick about this maybe he could have avoided that vanishing cabinet stuff.

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>>201693822
If he wasn't a dick he wouldn't be a wizard.

>>201670117
jej
couldn't they just magic the shit away instantly though?

>>201692427
>Use instadeath magic on unguarded infant
>It backfires and you die
>Could've just stomped the little shit

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>>201684252
>dies like a dog, forgotten by all within the year
>draco survives and gets a cute brunette wife

lmao

>>201672514
idk, if you kill the isis leader I'd let you have it

>>201670858
this looks like a trump twitter post

>>201694054
Didn't one of his housemates get incinerated

Why were Harry‘s parents so rich?
Why are Ron‘s parents so poor?
How does Hermione get any wizard money when her parents are muggles?

>>201694907
The parents off muggle borns are initiated into wizard society as it's assumed the have wizard ancestry somewhere. Gringotts has a bureau de change.

Harry's parents have Sleakeasy's Hair Potion money as his Grandad invented it.

Ron's parents aren't poor, they have no disposable income because 7 kids and the fact Arthur is an outcast that has never been promoted.

why would anyone care about winning the cup

I would have given zero fucks about it whatsoever back when I was in school

>>201695234
Hufflepuff behavior

>>201691504
>I'd say that Slytherin has the best common room
its probably the most lavish and comfy one

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>>201681456
The scene where Malfoy calls Hermione a mudblood is going to hit hard as fuck

1000 POINTS TO HARRY POTTER FOR BEING AN EXCEPTIONAL CUM RECEPTICAL

>>201694552
yeah I don't think that was even the only Slytherin that died but i often get the book and movie confused so I'd rather not say for sure.

Draco still got a ridiculously generous ending considering his part in things though

>>201693859
Holy fuck I'd forgotten about this guy until now. I haven't read Dragonlance since I was 9, but he's like the only character I remember for how utterly gloomy he was. I'd mostly read stuff like Narnia, Animorphs or Roald Dahl until then so it was a shock to have someone like him in the main party.

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>>201674047
Snape canonically died a kissless virgin. Which is pretty funny when you think about it.

>>201695506
>yeah I don't think that was even the only Slytherin that died
in the books crabbe is the only named slytherin student who dies

>>201695755
Thats not true Malfoy dies in childbirth after Snape impregnates him.

Or at least I think that's what happens. I've been reading a lot of fan fiction...

>>201695784
malfoy/malfoy >>>> malfoy/potter >>>>> malfoy/snape

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>>201669677
>female Draco
daring

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>>201695864
What's up with those lips, is she a duck animagus?

>>201666342
Beta energy.

>"Twenty centimeters to Slytherin!" Dumbledore bellowed calmly.
>Malfoy raised his hand and shrieked, "But head master, don't you mean twenty points?"
>"NO!" Dumbledore jumped up on the Slytherin table. "I said twenty centimeters, and by god, I mean twenty centimeters!"
>Dumbledore gathered up his robes and exposed his hairy man legs as he squat down atop Slytherin's dining table.
>His face turned red with anguish as he groaned and farted in Malfoy's face.
>"Don't look away, you sniveling little brats!" Dumbledore groaned. "I demand you watch this! Anyone who looks away loses their house 100 points!"
>Wet flatulence erupted from Dumbledore's hairy starfish, and the children groaned in protest.
>"Are you watching, Slytherin?" Dumbledore shouted. "Are you watching closely, you fucking brown nosing nazis?! Well get a good fucking whiff of this!"
>a volcano of diarrhea blasted out of Dumbledore's AIDS ridden faggot anus.
>It was an apocalyptic catastrophe of old man shit: prune juice and half-digested chocolate frogs leapt out from the soupy carnage.
>"Yeeeesssss!" He moaned. "Oh god yeeeeessss! I live for this, children! You should see the looks on your dumb mud-blood faces! And the best part is, if any one of you little dipshits complains I'll play my LGBTQ card and get you expelled! That's right! Expelled! HMMMNNGGGHH!"
>Dumbledore did a merry Irish jig in his feces and kicked it about the children's faces.
>"So do any one of you Slytherin nazi brats want to complain? Hmm? Do you? Do you want to write a letter to your parents saying you want to go home now? Go back to the muggle world and go to a normal British high school full of Muslims? I DIDN'T FUCKING THINK SO!"
>Dumbledore said calmly.

>>201673563
It was Britain in the 90's. What percentage of girls do you think kept it shaved?
Maybe Slytherin girls shaved and that's part of the reason they were reviled

>>201673478
Killing a tyrant is not a "school activity", stoping a school shooter will not grant me the spelling bee award either. Not even honor hall

>>201697053
why would pureblood witches engage in muggle trends

>>201672194
Used to goon a lot with other dudes to her or other girls from the movies and this was always the favorite.

For me, it's Luna

>>201669998
lmao

>>201682832
oooh, monke
monke would

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>>201696865

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>>201669677
>>201695864
Draco's whole character arc makes a lot more sense if you think of it as unrequited love. He wanted to be Harry's friend right from the beginning and got snubbed in favour of a family of ginger morons.
Girl Draco would have easily turned this around in year 4. When Harry was bumbling around looking for someone to go to the ball with she would have swept in at the last minute and just asked him. No angsty betrayals or working for Voldemort - just standard tsundere romance.

>>201680935
It's max comfy in Hogwarts Legacy. Just wish that game had more reason for you to actually be in the dorms.

>>201698069
no she would fall for harry and get pressed into voldemort's service anway, eventually giving the dark lord her precious virginity in a brutal forced impregnation and getting passed around to the other death eaters.

>>201698069
>>201698232
No you retards, she would still be forced into the death eaters because of her parents but this time her main conflict about it would be her forbidden love for Harry and her eventual changing of sides would be because of that.

>>201698377
oh yes of course, it makes sense for her to fall for harry. but I'd still include the rape to spice things up

>>201698215
Man, that game has this really cool castle, but good god there's is so much wasted space. I wish it was like bully, with classes to attend and rules to break, but no, didn't happen

>>201666172
Snape was biased and rigged it for the slytherins, also Harry/Ron/Hermione stopped wizard Hitler which is like a rediculous accomplishment worth more than a few points, really that's probably the most impressive thing a 10 year old has ever done in hogwarts history, also Ron is presented as retarded but he beat wizard stock fish at chess some how.

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>>201695830
>not Crabbe & Goyle Malfoy-polyjuice while real Malfoy watches
plebian

>>201696865
the novels got a lot darker near the end
I remember reading this passage as a kid and realizing I was growing up

>>201697083
killing the resident monster seems worthy of special services to the school

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>>201697450
>Used to goon a lot with other dudes
straightest Hermione fan

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>Voldemort is a half-blood
how did he get away with this?

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>>201698069

>>201690713
>accio poorly-guarded Russian warheads
>magicfieldus faradaycageo
>detonatus charm
These niggers can teleport, conjure, mind control, turn into other people, and all sorts of other insane shit that was never even explored. A trained wizard is a walking demigod compared to muggles, especially if he combined his powers with technology.

>>201698928
Truthfully, hybrid vigor but inbred purebloods aren't ready to hear that...

>>201698928
half blood but also slytherin's actual descendant

>>201698810
I'm a Luna fan though

>>201669677
Draco secretly being a girl and hiding her gender would be peak.

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>>201699125
No.

>>201699047
he literally came from the most inbred family in the world

>>201666172
t. butthurt Slythfag

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>>201699165
I won't apologise for having sophisticated tastes.

>>201699203
Half inbred pureblood and half vigorous wild muggle. Quite the potent synthesis.

>>201666342
Hufflepuffs identify as Gryffindors

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>HARRY POTTER DID YOU STRETCH YOUR LEGS ON THE HOLY BOOK AGAIN?
The Imam asked calmly

>>201694907
>>201695043
Tangentially related to the whole poverty thing, why is the wizarding world so absolutely luddite. Oh you have a spell to make pots and pans scrub themselves. Muggles call that a washing machine. And it works better with taking half a dozen movies to get a damn grease stain out. I mean for a group of people who want to view themselves better than the "muggles" I don't see them lasting two seconds in a fight if anyone with a arms technology level from the late 1800s show up looking for a fight.

>>201699769
Reminds me of that short story where the alien invaders show up on Earth with interstellar ships armed with black powder cannons and muskets and immediately get stomped by , because it turned out FTL was really simple to figure out and only humans couldn't get it so they continued to advance their tech instead of dropping everything early on to go explore the universe in glorified diving bells.

>>201700111
You got a title or author, champ?

>>201699047
hybrid vigor is just for plants.

>>201700195
Harry Turtledove, "The Road Not Taken"

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>>201666223

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>>201700331
>hybrid vigor is just for plants.
Damn you're right. BTW what is this plant called again? Don't cheat by reading the filename

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So explain how the wizarding world of harry potter works to me? Like is it a separate dimension or plane on it's own? If so how big is it? Are there other schools teaching their own kinds of sorcery in different parts of it? Like is there some Not-Asia school teaching some kids how to be onmyoji? What kind of governments and structure does it employ? More importantly what really is it's relationship to our world and what makes them they think they're so much better besides the gift of magic which frankly is, as stated above, remarkably luddite all things being equal? Does the wizarding world have some connection to forgotten old ones or mytholgies forgotten to time? Is the Tuatha de Danann involved? Malfoy Sr seems like he's a big shot I guess. What is the actual threat posed by He Who Shall not be named beyond a half dozen jerks with pointers? Do they play quidditch in more not British parts of the magical lands? Do the Amagicas have a magical hand egg and laugh at how dumb it is?

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>>201700700
How about you finish writing GoT before you start getting critical about other authors.

>>201700700
Read the books. 99% of your schizopost is entirely irrelevant to HP

>>201700111
>>201700360
Does this retarded cumskin not realise that Britishers did this exact thing to India with black powder cannons and muskets?

>>201698742
Kek, that's reaching. The argument still remains, you're not getting into the honor hall by killing the rat or lizard that sneaked into the classroom

>>201700830
>you're not getting into the honor hall by killing the rat or lizard that sneaked into the classroom
what about a bear?

>>201700830
The point was to reward harry for intentionally charging into life threatening situations. Pig for slaughter and all that.

>>201700889
What kind of bear?

>>201666172
I tried a harry potter movie marathon I watched them all back to back. The first dumbledore seemed just right. The next guy was creepily trying to be calm. He's a fucking narc I just don't trust what he's doing. I mean it works in context for what they're doing but it's like the first dumbledore worked a lot better and I'm really fucking sketched out about the other guy trying to not be like I'm a fucking weird wizard guy, but I'm not all fucking weird and shit I'm just calm about it. It kinda works into the later moves. I mean that man rivals fucking hannibale lecter in his job description and I think he did better than anthony hopkins while trying to be a character that is basically the fucking same. Maybe it worked. It's just annoying he did some ride or die stuff while being really unconvincing about it.

>>201700907
A polar bear

>>201700700
the book is for children, not autistic fat sffg incels

>>201700907
Grindelwald

>>201700817
And what was the superior technology the pajeets surprisingly had they could use to BTFO the brits?

>>201700964
A polar bear in the Scottish highlands? Seems unlikely. How did it end up there?

>>201701078
He was on his way to the kitchen for a snack and got lost.

>>201701111
It ended up in a magical castle in the scottish highlands after getting lost on the way to the kitchen?

>>201666172
People act like slythering winning wasn't a result of Snape docking points from everyone else for nothing on consequence.

>>201701111
He went to the kitchen for a nosh and want up in a completely different biome?

>>201701154
>>201701163
He is not a clever bear.

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>>201672194

>>201700955
gambon is like that in most of the films i've seen him in. harris was perfect in the role

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>>201701078
Maybe it migrated on an ice flow.

>>201701201
I don't understand half the words you think I do, but it was like dropping the second dumble door dude into fucking drop dead fred and expecting him to play someone pretending they know what is happening and gas lighting the person on purpose instead of accident and then just being like he's got a secret family with the brady's. It's so fucking odd how he's like you can't have alice expose my secret family with the brady's. Marsha marsha marsha go get george glass. I mean it's the most eeriee depicition. Thanks for cock blocking me I just love being in the star of a film now.

>>201700452
Mules are just a generally useful and cheap compromise between donkeys and horses, they're not better than horses in any particular application. Also, negative heterosis is a thing, let's not forget.

Not that any of this matters, because purebloods are not inbred, they're just not bred from muggles (which doesn't make sense anyway, how would a clueless wizard even make it in the outside world enough to fuck a normal woman?). The wizard population is more than large enough to avoid genuine inbreeding.

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>>201701597
If this is pasta I've never seen it before. Great stuff

>>201701733
I bet you never admit when you're wrong IRL too and it pushes people away.

>>201701054
Do a quick google on how 90% of the British "Industrial Revolution" was just looted from us and come back to me bitch

>>201701793
Holy shit it actually is a butthurt pajeet kek.

>>201701733
>because purebloods are not inbred,
yes they were, eg Gaunts and Blacks

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>>201701793
Bro you guys invented gang rape and honor killings. Even fucking china invented useful shit like gunpowder and paper. There's a reason why you dudes have been historically and culturally shit on for the last 800 years.

>>201701778
>this infertile middle ground is totally better than a horse because otherwise I'll have to accept that my beliefs are pop sci myths peddled to push race mixing
Kek, try to deal with it, little bro.

>>201698810
why would they let him screen when he is facing forward, you can barely recognize him

>>201701850
Anon this is 100% false

They're usually the ones doing the shitting

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>>201701793

>>201666172
If you were some random student Dumbledore must’ve seemed like a narcissistic psychopath

>>201701737
You never seen drop dead fred or seinfield? Drop dead fred I could rant so much about. It's like having to grow up watching that show where you're a step hedded child and nobody will sign your pay check unless jason alexander can complain his nexflixt deal is tanking and it's not funny unless he pretends to be someone that isn't a douche for a change, while going on comedy websites and still being a douche. Why wasn't he in the spawn movie, he's like that fucking db sweany guy like okay you can grow a goatee try a fucking wig. Oh wait, I have millions of dollars and I can't afford it I'm a fucking douche.

>>201701861
>Charles Darwin: "The mule always appears to me a most surprising animal. That a hybrid should possess more reason, memory, obstinacy, social affection, powers of muscular endurance, and length of life, than either of its parents, seems to indicate that art has here outdone nature".

>>201701778
Well ackchyually, no. I learned to contain my spaghetti a long time ago.

You're still wrong tho.

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>>201701793
Good evening saar, have a (you)

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>>201701924
Keep it coming brother this is what I live for.

>>201699769
You could craft some interesting theories that remains canon with the books about how 99% of wizards live in abject fear of muggles and they're basically hillbillies forever stuck in a moribund incestuous culture. You shouldn't bother, but you could.

>>201701942
Darwin's opinion (pulled from the wiki page for "mule", how embarassing) was not empirical evidence, retard.

>>201701998
I just got a thing for drop dead fred, I know it's pathetic like the time I like a yahoo serious movies for years on end. Okay you got me just quote montey python I'm so intellectual I can't do anything else.
I mean regardless of how the movies were for yahoo serious I'm still a fan. coming out I watched a marathon of them and I don't get why I'd bitch about seinfield being point less drop dead fred was the greated movie in existence. Fred might not exist but your ugly stupid face does. It does things nobody wants to describe like snot and other things running down it.

>>201700700
>is it a separate dimension or plane on it's own?
No, it is the same earth as ours. In theory, muggles could reach Hogwarts on foot, and presumably every other magical place.

>how big is it?
The wizard-perceived world is larger than the muggle-perceived world.
Apparently it is possible to delimit mapped areas (like the Hogwarts campus) so that if a muggle sets foot in it, they immediately turn around and go back home thinking they forgot something

It is also possible to remove areas (like houses and islands) from maps, making them impossible to find unless you are told by someone who knows about the palce

>Are there other schools teaching their own kinds of sorcery in different parts of it?
yes, voodoo or black magic or something is taught in africa

>What kind of governments and structure does it employ?
if the uk is any example, the wizarding govt is pretty much the muggle govt, minus email

>what makes them they think they're so much better
they are physically superior. I think the book describes wizards having a better chance of surviving a gunshot than muggles due to the wizards' magic-supported physiology

>Does the wizarding world have some connection to forgotten old ones
there is an extremely old arch that no one knows who built it

>What is the actual threat posed by He Who Shall not be named
historically wizards have self-isolated. Voldemort wants to change that and kill anyone who opposes him.

>>201700955
gambon was just really inconsistent. dunno if it's his fault or because they kept switching directors. probably both, but GoF is so fucking weird obviously it's not just the actors at fault.

>>201702196
The fuck was Gof suppose to mean you fucking weird ugly stupid person?

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>>201702112
Fuck me you're insufferable.
>hybrid vigor is just for plants.
Here's an animal well known for benefiting from hybrid vigor
>nuh uh mules dont actually have hybrid vigor people only bred them for thousands of years because... they're cheap
Here's a quote from an authoritative naturalist and biologist neatly encapsulating the mules hybrid qualities.
>NOOOOOOO THATS NOT EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE WAHHHH!

>>201666342
women don't understand competition

>>201702140
>there is an extremely old arch that no one knows who built it
thing is freaky, it disturbs me
>>>201702258
50 points from dickweedor

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>>201702127

>>201702327
>50 points from dickweedor
I was trying to mimick you fucking dicks. for fuck sakes. I mean I know you understand you're ugly and you can do nothing about it. You don't have to be stupid and gross on top of it.

>>201666342
Fuck Slytherin

>>201701814
>>201701850
>>201701996
Cope, you destroy our industries and looted them to get ahead and even then it was only temprary, we're supassing you as I type.

>>201702506
Do not redeem, saar! Your mother is a bitch prostitute.

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>>201702506
not bad but I think you tried a little too hard with that one. you need to play the national pride up and downplay the butthurt. Like you genuinely believe that India is the lucky country.

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>>201702506
>Cope, you destroy our industries and looted them to get ahead and even then it was only temprary, we're supassing you as I type.

>>201702562
Fake, they wouldn't be caught dead sitting on a toilet

>>201702562
Anyone got the gif of the ones where they are in the server room shitting. The one where they trying to pull a pajeet out of the room while he's still shitting is hilarious

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>>201702612
>SAR! WE INVENT PLANES FOR YOU SAR!

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>>201666172

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>WELL DONE VOLDEMORT, FUCK YOU I'LL SAY HIS NAME, VOLDEMORTVOLDEMORTVOLDEMORTVOLDEMORTVOLDEMORTVOLDEMORT! AHEM, WELL DONE VOLDEMORT! YOU LEARNED TO CAST FIST ON THAT FILTHY HALF-BLOOD MUGGLE HARASSING CHO-CHANG
>100 POINTS TO SYLTHERIN