>BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPFFFffffppPff>"Professor please! There must be another way!">"I'm sorry Harry, the 23andme results were conclusive", dumbledore could barely hide his disgust beneath his murderous glee>"But its only 3%, thats nothing!" Harry fought with all his might but the professors spells were strong, the butt plug wasn't moving, but the pressure building inside him was otherworldly>ITS EVERYTHING!!! Roared the professor, I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE HAD THE SORTING HAT CHECK YOUR "EARLY LIFE" FROM THE SECOND I SAW YOUR NET WORTH!>REST ASSURED THE FLUE NETWORK I INSTALLED UNDER THE MUMBAI STORM DRAINS THAT I HAVE NOW EXPERTLY ROUTED INTO YOUR ASSHOLE WILL ADVANCE MY PLANS QUITE SUFFICIENTLY POTTER WHEN YOU DESTROY YOUR OWN PEOPLE!>With a well practiced stretch of his legs the professor in one smooth motion roundhouse kicked harry through a waiting flue portal and removed the charms stopping Harry exploding from the 3 gigatones of Indian grade sewage now building up inside him>As he clattered to the floor and with just a few seconds of agonising life left Harry just had time to notice where he had been sent to die>Tel Aviv>the last thing harry felt was the butt plug apparate into nonexistence under the pressure of the Indian nation's finest diarrhea>the explosion that followed levelled Tel Aviv, and poisoned all of Israel for 1000 generations>redeem that, said dumbledore calmly
kino
My favorite part from the books.
>>201751309They like poop, though.
the audiobook is great during this part.
giwtwm
He didn't say that
we won and now control the ministry. you "purebloods" will die out in another two decades and half/mudbloods will be all that remain, serving all our banking needs.deal with it, wand-carriers
>>201751309>>201752093How did JK Rowling get away with this?
>>201751309>Indian grade sewageIs it really sewage if it never enters a sewer?
>>201751309>”Harry Potter” Dumbledore read>a terrible silence rang through the great hall. It seemed a great wind was blowing through the students, with rippling patterns disturbing the lines of tables. Dumbledore stood stock still, the flames of the Goblet casting his face in an eerie light.>”Harry.... Potter” he said again, his voice lowering into a deadly hiss>Dumbledore’s eyes slowly rose to lock on to Harry, and to all those who could bear to meet that terrible gaze, they seemed to be raging with an unholy flame>”HARRY POTTER!!!!!!” He bellowed, and with that tranquil battle cry, the ancient warlock’s legs stretched, sending him leaping over the high table and landing among the slytherins, his eyes locked on the presumptuous gryffindor the whole while>screams erupted as his feet crushed several unfortunate first years into unpleasant murals, but the desperate attempts of the students to escape only fed the serene bloodlust that had overcome their headmaster>dumbledore’s wand flashed and several students barring his way to the gryffindor table were instantly vaporised, but not all were so lucky.>Malfoy, who had accidentally blundered into the headmaster’s path, had naught but the beatific spittle coming from dumbledore’s mouth to warn him before the aged sorcerer lower jaw unhinged, and he was swallowed whole
>>201752879>ignoring the dismembered students and the thrashing in his distended throat, Dumbledore stormed up to the gryffindor table. The Lions, contrasting the petrified ravenclaws and terrified slytherins, were stoically accepting their fate. Presumably Hufflepuff was doing something too>dumbledore’s charge slowed as he approached his target>blood leaked out of his mouth and down his beard, marring his beautiful robes, grotesquely highlighting his very obvious erection and quite ruining the remaining Bouillabaisse in hermione’s bowl>his target finally in sight, The Headmaster finally allowed himself to speak again> “DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?!?!” He said calmly>preparing himself for death, and wiping bits gore and of blonde hair from his face, Harry managed to squeak out a denial>briefly swallowing to foil Draco’s latest bid for freedom, Dumbledore followed up by softly demanding “DID YOU ASK AN OLDER STUDENT TO PUT YOUR NAME IN FOR YOU?!”>”no!” Harry said, determined to end this hell, one way or another>Dumbledore’s gaze didn’t waver, and for a long minute Harry thought his time was up>finally Dumbledore broke his gaze, and, in a tone of disgust, muttered “join the champions, Harry. Fifty points from slytherin”
>three brooms written off, five thestrals put down, two in intensive care, a troll let loose in Hogsmeade, four supposed death eaters in my cells, a Gringots vault busted and so many Goblins on my ass that I’m thinking of changing my name to Bilbo fucking Baggins. You got anything to add to this report, Potter?>you read it all, Professor>thought not. Well I have no choice. You’re getting a raise
>>201751309>Hari Potna
>>201751309can't believe they cut this from the final version
>>201751309he didn't shit that
