Sad time of year, but trying to make the best of it.

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Let's start lightly
I've been taking Taiko practices for about a year now. I love banging the drum but I fucking hate the people there, I spend 4 hours a week there barely sharing a word with anyone, while everyone else share hearty comments to each other. We're supposed to be a group that cooperate with each other on our practices and during live presentations, but I'm the odd one out, the black sheep, the ugly duckling.
Been considering leaving and maybe switching for a more traditional set of drums, but can't convince myself to do it, banging like a caveman feels good, but at the same time I fell if I try to socialize with my class it'll be even weirder. I cornered myself.

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Recently had a nasty split with my fiance whom I moved 900 miles away from home to be with. We have a toddler together and things vary between hating and tolerating each other. Moving out of our shared apartment drained most of my savings and got me into a shitty apartment where my kid spends every other week with me. Shit has been rough, especially when I realized that I had no support around me. My best friend has mentioned moving nearby but has reservations based on where the relationship with her goes. Obviously, as his friend, I want things to work out with her. It's just hard not to fixate on how much having him live nearby would help my well-being. Trying my best not to be selfish.

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>>8031927
got infatuated towards random girl, which i shouldn't, we have a lot in common and we on way to becoming good friends, but i have gf, and have been with her for almost 8 years now. i hate that, this time i hope i won't screw anything up and just let the feeling die

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I finally got a job after months of searching but I hate it so much. I think about doing a no call no show every day but I don't want to fuck over my coworkers because most of them are great, and I want to be able to have a good reference from there in the future. The pay is shit, the hours suck, and I'm completely burnt out after two months.

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I had to break up with my GF I was in a long distance relationship with. I was trying to get a job in NYC where she lives but the job market for my profession is shit right now and it's even worse in NYC since so many people want to live there and I have no idea when things will get better. I decided it was probably better to just cut things off now so both of us will have more time to recover and get back out there. I guess I'm just gonna stay in DC for the forseeable future which I don't really mind but going back to dating apps and trying to meet people is going to suck. She was my first GF bros this hurts.

>>8032200
just try talking to them once, if it doesnt work out, you got ur answer

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This is the first time I've been to /wg/ in ages, and I don't know how to feel. I still see people reposting images with filenames starting with 156 or even 148. Has nothing changed while I was gone?

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I met this chick that has few friends but im attracted to her in a way that isnt what shes looking

In you I put
All my faith and trust
Right before my eyes
My world has turned to dust

>>8033278
what does that mean?

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>>8031927
>What do you guys think?
Dumb. You may as well call it /gioyc/ and be done with it. I thought these threads were for any and all thoughts, but not everything you say is, or needs to be, cathartic.
>>8033508
It means people are posting years old pictures. Nothing to be bothered by, that's just how it is.

>>8033987
I see
thanks for explanation anon!

And when you travel to that
Place you can't come back
When the last pain is gone and
All that's left is black

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it never happened

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I want to stop drinking

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>>8034588
You've already gotten through the hardest part by figuring out that you want to stop. If you think you can, take whatever hard liquor you have and just dump it. That, or give it to someone if it's something fancy or expensive. Try to limit yourself to lower ABV drinks like beers and seltzers, then work down from there.

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>>8033987
Honestly I was the anon who suggested /catharsis/, but /gioyc/ is way better. My idea was that the general vibe of thread 8 was more venting than anything, but you're right in that it doesn't all have to be cathartic.

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I'm pretty humble and always try to pick people up who are down, and i don't have much of an ego, in fact i'm only now coming to terms with myself after years of hating myself, however...I secretly feel like nobody else matches up to me and that just makes me worried about the rest of humanity.

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All my life I have adapted to other people's way of loving, both with partners, friendships and family. I feel so lonely and so rejected that in 2017 I started writing the diary of a parallel life where everyone except a fictional character (I don't want to say who that person is) and I have suddenly disappeared, where food doesn't rot, where time passes but we don't age, a world for us. I feel I had to live with a fake persona to be accepted by someone and I am ashamed to say that this fake life makes me immensely happy. It doesn't stop me from living my real life and even helps me through the bad times. I also didn't intend to fall in love and in the end it happened. I know that person is not real, that person lives only in my heart, so I strive to make my heart a beautiful place to live in. Although, technically, if the universe is infinite, then that person is somewhere dreaming the same lie as me. Thank you for reading me, I needed to share this with someone.

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>>8031927
The declining influence of Christianity due to rationality/science is leading people towards nihilism or rigid, radical political beliefs. As Nietzsche and Dostoevsky foresaw, at a personal level, the lack of a belief structure is intolerable for most people. When abandoning religion, they'll replace it with something else, frequently rigid political beliefs.

Islam, with its extreme intolerance for apostasy, may not be effected by such trends, although movements like the PKK might disprove this assumption.

As Dostoevsky said , 'without God, anything is permitted' , as such you are seeing the left embrace all manner of insanity, e.g. euthanasia, drag shows for children, etc. Meanwhile the right desperately lashes out against these trends, including voting for the orange man.

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>>8034588
>>8034832
Last night/this morning was the very first time experiencing a hangover where I feel like shooting myself; surprisingly enough, this was the first time I drank since becoming 23 years old. It really is not worth the fun and hype drinking yourself to death. I want to ultimately stop.

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>>8033987
I sometimes save images and hammer in random numbers for a filename. Numbers aren't always real.

>>8032830
Talk to your manager about hours and workload. There may be a means to rearrange things a little to hours you are more comfy with.

>>8031927
This year has been nuts. I hugged my personal hero. I actually started seeing some success in my work. I even got what I wanted for my birthday. People around me are happier and I am, too. Five years ago I hoped on New Years that things would only get better from there. And so far, they have.

I hope that everyone here has a better 2024 than 2023. We all need it to get better. Spread hope, not hate. Hang in there, guys.

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>>8035258
>We all need it to get better. Spread hope, not hate. Hang in there, guys.
Thanks dude

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>>8035258
I finally have things in life to look forward to. It is a good feeling to not be dependent on your surroundings to have a reason to live, and to instead have genuine contentedness come from within.
I hope things keep up for you.

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The Mooooooooooooooooooooomins

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I think I like my co-worker and I think she likes me as well. So that's pretty cool.

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>>8031927
considering leaving this jewish country, I don't belong here, no future here, just war and destruction. I just had to be born in a place where Jesus is hated the most and hide the fact I believe in him even from my russian jewish parents (who I still live with). seeing all the Christmas atmosphere and celebrations abroad while here is another regular shitty jewish day and thinking about how devoid of Christmas my childhood and life in general was and how I will never know how is it like to grow up in a country with Christian roots and Christian holidays really makes me sad.

>>8035400
christians are shit as well anon. idealising a belief system is a shortcut to doom and crappy life

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work

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turned 30 earlier this year and feel like a loser - I make decent money, but it's from a lame marketing role at a huge company. Don't have many friends and rarely see the ones I have, tho seems like only when they want something from me. Also I'm skinny fat.

I want to do something creative with my life, but despite playing piano since 8, guitar since 14, I am extremely untalented at both instruments and suck at song writing. I don't want to be famous, just want to put something out that improves people's life

Feels like time is flying by and I'm becoming nostalgic for times when I was miserable

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Christmas is only fun if you have parents or kids.

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>>8031927
I recently acquired my bachelor's degree in information networking/cybersecurity after fucking around for a couple years but now find myself unable to secure even a job interview. I make 40k annually working as basically a high school teacher that is also in charge of I.T. support on campus and cannot claw my way into a better situation.

I have consulted managers and those within the cybersecurity field and realize that my chances are low regardless of how appealing I am. Connections are absolutely everything in any field and I will just have to get lucky some day.

Did you guys have a good Christmas?

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>>8035032
did you read your bible today, anon?

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>>8031927
i think i am beginning to come to terms with the fact that depression will always be a part of my life
it's not about hoping it will be gone
it's about getting stuff done, making memories, helping others, in spite of it

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>>8034588
Hey anon. I was in a similar situation to yours for about a year as well (funny because I was thinking of writing in this thread about it). Coming from personal experience, I'm 26 now and been drinking since 15 which didn't become a huge issue until about 23 where I was literally drinking to the point of blacking out every night. I'd get the shakes whenever I didn't have alcohol in my system, anxious/aggravated whenever the thought of running out of it, and more...So as you'd imagine, quitting took a while until finally being able to get sober October 2023 long-term. There are days that are extremely hard and idea of a drink is tempting but it's certainly been a lot better compared to when I was drinking overall. Life does get more manageable as time goes on and I'm realizing this as the days come experienced with a more sober mind.

I know my input may not have been enough anon. I am still trying to figure out things out myself. I hope you are able to get off the drink and can overcome whatever may be driving you to do so. Going to AA could help out a bit. Best of luck out there.

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I hope we can make it through the next few decades without a nuclear holocaust. It worries me all the time, I think about our future constantly. Little moments make me swell with emotion every day because I'll see something that speaks to the beauty of humanity and then be gripped by intense fear that we will destroy ourselves and all of our lives across millennia will be in vain. I feel like a soul that was *just* lucky enough to incarnate in this time to observe things before the xtreme dark ages 2 happen. We need to just accept multipolarity is going to happen and stop fighting against the tides of history. Western elites are a cancer against the development and prosperity of the human race. I just want us to survive. Nature always will, but humanity isn't as guaranteed.

I also have been thinking a lot about those videos of animals using buttons to communicate with humans. Their intelligence and capacity to understand language fills me with a similar intense feeling. Let's all embrace 3D printed lab meat but also kill the people who want us to eat ze bugs.

I met a magic man
Who had a daughter
She learned her lessons well
But still I taught her
She followed willingly
As lambs to slaughter
We shared forbidden fruit
And things I brought her

Do you guys enjoy your jobs?

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Still can't get her out of my head, but i'm kinda happy with that, it's nice to be aware how much she meant to me.

>>8036938
Yeah, sometimes it is pure frustration, but usually relaxed and engaging.

t. dev

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I never thought about legacy when I was younger. Even now it's a term that sits ill on my tongue, like discussing retirement or superannuation. As I age, though, the concept is dawning on me. I'm over halfway through my life (at least, according to Life Expectancy Rates), and even though I'm employed, empowered, and physically well, I feel like my lasting impact on this world will be as fleeting as a footprint in a sandstorm.
When I die, and I certainly don't fear death, it would be comforting to know that my time here wasn't wasted. I'm largely a selfish creature, and I always felt that my meager contributions to greater society were best served in the form of polite tolerance, mutual respect and dignity, and an open ear to concerns. The men I've looked up in my time have all been stoic and supportive, quiet and confident, the powerful current underneath the still surface. My previous goal was to be as good a man as my father is, but with each passing year I resign myself to less and less lofty ideals. Not that I've given up, just that the more I learn of him, the less I feel I could ever live up to him. The fact that I know he wouldn't hold me accountable for these shortcomings just serves to extend the gulf between my view of he and I.
So, legacy. It's pointless to think about when you believe nothing matters beyond the tombstone, but I think every reasonable person wants to look back at their life and know that their time here was valued and significant.

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>>8036938
I do love detailing cars, it's keeping me focused, fit, active, and feels like I still get to drive a bit while I work through a DUI

I'm feeling so burned out.

>>8037096
Luckily my neighborhood and the parts I usually go to are pretty white. Still haven't been south of the river lol.

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>>8036938
It's always one extreme or another depending on who I'm working with and what mood they are in. Freelancing sucks sometimes.

>>8035400
You can give that life to your children, just try to be understanding when they throw away all they know for the adventure and thrill of whats foreign to them. Eventually, theyll find their way back.

>>8035935
Do your life sad. I like it

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>>8031927
Im coming to a point where I have to decide between the potential adventure of a lifetime that would dignify my life in ways I couldnt imagine, or being present with my family's life and watching my siblings lean into adulthood. Its tremendously difficult because I am terrified that coming home will mean I go back to being that invisible middle child I tried to escape from when I was 18, but I am also weighed down by tungsten guilt for missing their lives. Every time I deploy, they always talk about how much they miss me, but every time I come home, they go back to treating me how they did when I was a child and I'm really trying to work up the nerve to resign my time with them to small little islands of holidays and special events.

>>8038268
>I'm really trying to work up the nerve to resign my time with them to small little islands of holidays and special events.

Here is your permission. If they don't treat you right, move on. They clearly are adults if you're the middle child. They don't need you to live their lives. In fact, you will find things of your own to live for if you don't live for theirs. And waiting around to see their lives is going to just keep you in the middle as you are living for them, not you. Now move on. Take that adventure. They wish they could go on it, I bet, so don't throw it away.

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Today was wonderful. Good food. Good movies. I spent time with someone I love. Tomorrow I go back to spending time around people I hate. I just need to make it through, then I'll be back where I need to be again. Until then, FML.

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>>8031927
My ex fiance, who I'd been clinging on to hope that we'd fix things and get back together and move back in with one another, she finally broke it off via an email. She did it a few days before this previous Thanksgiving. And she did it knowing I was at my absolute lowest point, facing possible homelessness, crippling debt and the possibility of pancreatic cancer (thankfully turned out to not be cancer). She left me because I was not together.. I was still smoking weed compulsively, struggling to save money, struggling to get out of my depression.

Since then, I've been dating people I really don't like, because I can't stand being alone... A lot of people in my life left me without warning. My mother (drugs), my earliest and closest childhood best friend (drugs and unknown reasons), my father (abusive both psychologically and emotionally), my eldest sister (moved half way across the country to escape my mother and father). All of my closest friends are online, and they're settling down and having kids... I'm so utterly alone all the time and I'm terrified it's going to make me kill myself, even though I'm still young. But dating women who I can't stand to be around, just to bide my time until I can hopefully find someone truly special, but even that's a terrifying idea, because then what happens if I ruin it? I ruined the last one...

Even now, I quit smoking and drinking about a week before Christmas... I've been stone sober since then, and every single day I think about ending it... But I don't, because that might hurt the few people I do have left in my life that I care deeply about. Whether they care about me or not (and I'd like to think they do). I literally have to counteract suicidal thoughts with the thoughts of how they'd react when they find out. It's honestly the only thing that keeps me around

I know I'm being weak... But I'm trying my best... I don't know what else to do but fake being less weak than I know I am...

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I really like my job and my colleagues are mostly great. Unfortunately I haven't been able to go to work for a couple of weeks now due to stacking illnesses. There's no real problems at the moment but I do have anxiety about coming back because if I'm sick they have to work harder and I'm a bit worried it'll sour our the relationship I have with my colleagues.

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I want to just give up and let everything go to hell.

>>8038906
I know that feeling, but you have to fight that impulse and keep going. You can do it, pal.

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>>8038702
The elders were right; Health is the most important. I can't say more than that, you're healthy and screw that bitch. Money is always a problem but you can do it/try it only if you are healthy.

>>8038702
I forgot, I wish you find the right path soon. It's not time to go yet.

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>>8037131
Still enough time to jump into a creative field; still the most likely way the average Joe will make any lasting mark, and accessible with modern technology. Personally I've picked up writing again and started working on comics I'd like to publish on webcomic websites; even if they don't take off, I'd like to know that there exists something out there online that people could see in the future, or that I can show to friends/family with pride.

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>>8039071
just saw I doubled up on semicolons lol
im baked right now

Oh, I know I'm being used
That's okay, man, 'cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
That's okay, 'cause I got no self esteem

:/

Tell me the name of the girl you'll never have. The one you want so bad it's like acid in your mouth. The one who got away. You know the one.

>>8038268
I say go for it, pal. If you see an opportunity, grab on and don't let go because it might never come around again. Godspeed! Keep us updated.

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>>8031927
I'm reminded of the unopened boardgames and the card games i keep, hoping that they would someday attract old classmates and friends to dedicate a day or a weekend for a day of peace and recollection.
Problem is, most of those friends and friend groups have long since fractured into the wind, and my inability and fear for the use of social media has left me out of touch from most traces of my past live. The few people that remain in my life are either to busy, too cynical or too absorbed in the digital cope to let a second of boredom come into their lives. Now stranded in a city and country to which i was brought to in my teenage years, now I'm beyond lost, and I feel like all that remains for me, is to see my existence through.

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>>8039862

For you, and all the other Anon's out there, that maybe need a little inspiration and/or motivation to get up and find/make an opportunity for yourself before too much more time passes and it becomes too late, please watch this video, it's only 60 minutes long, but it's very worth watching:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nij7mI4O8A0

I think I am finally over her. 95%.

>>8039353
lyssa

>>8035032
Well, there was no christianity pre-200AD. So how people were doing stuff back then? Christianity and the montheistic religions were a prison for the humanity and so.. after every prison release there is such hyper liberation. Everything will calm back down in near or not so near future.

The age of christianity is called Dark Age and there is reason for that.

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i should get back to writing my masters. if everything goes right, i'll be an archaeologist soon.

>>8040896
Good luck to you Anon.

youtube.com/@TimeTeamOfficial/videos

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Thanksgiving to Valentine's Day, I always feel lonely as fuck despite having friends and family, I just want to cuddle with someone, and I entirely blame advertising for making me think I need a romantic partner to enjoy this time of year.

Looking out of my lonely gloom
Day after day

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If i had stayed with her we'd be having our first anniversary in a couple of days.

I still miss her, not sure about writing her something since we should both be moving on but i want her to know how much she meant to me.

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I'm just here for the wallpapers

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>>8031927
had alot of loss and emotional turmoil in the last 5 years. my life hasent gone to plan of any ive made for short or long term. Honestly though im not depressed, i still have negative thoughts but often times i can ignore them or discard them. there are times i worry about what ill be doing for a career assuming i can get into a decent one that wont destroy my chronic illness body. I think ultimately though, my life has been tough perhaps but good for me, i look back somtimes at how i used to react to things and act out on impulse alot, and admittedly i still struggle with my anger and with personal cowardice and things like being sloth, etc.
i have family that both put up with me and love me which im thankful for and a small but close enough circle of friends and they share interests and hobbies my family does not.

i do wish i could find more battletech wallpapers though, i'm a rotating wallpaper kind of guy and i like to have a little bit of everything. how bout you lot? also fuck these captcha

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>>8034862
This is very common for people who are highly agreeable. You can only put other people's needs before your own before you start feeling resentful that the favor is never returned. The only way to steer against that is to start being more assertive.

Unfortunately your perception that many people are just really stupid is also correct.

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It sucks being lonely and having nobody to talk to.
I wanted to message someone, but I'm already waiting a reply from most people I regularly talk to. Those conversations take many hours, often even days. I don't know how to meet new people, I can't go out too much because I can't get a job. Luckily, university is coming back in a week and seeing people daily will probably be a good thing. But then, I fear it will come back to the same cycle of struggle where none of the connections seem to really develop. Just like any other dude, I guess that the best thing to fill this emptiness would be a cute girl, preferably a tomboy, but I'm talking about friends too - it's not like the 'bros' seem to care about anything and they all fail miserably when we try to meet and do something outside of college.
Anyways, that feeling was what made me remember this general and come here, since I don't lurk /wg/ as much as I once used to. I'll reply to anons' posts with other papes.

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>>8041748
>but i want her to know how much she meant to me.
I don't know how your relationship ended, but I'm not sure writing to her is a good idea. Like you said, you should be moving on. And I guess that she knowing that or not, now it wouldn't make much of a difference.
I don't say do it or don't, but please take that into consideration.
>>8040986
Kek, it's funny that you blame advertising. But that's true, you shouldn't feel that way. You know, this year I went to vacations with my entire family and those were some of the best days I've had in a long time, for sure. Not that my family is anything too special, but I didn't feel lonely at all. When we were together, even when it was quite boring, I did not think of the problems I mentioned in the other post - besides getting a job/internship, since everyone asks how's uni going and if I have already started working. For a few days, I had no worries, because there wasn't really anything productive to do there and therefore the moments I longed to were the simple things: breakfast, coffee, swimming, lunch, playing cards, talking to relatives on the table, dinner, watching a movie, etc.
After that, I realized that's what those holidays and moments are all about, you know. It's about forgetting about everything and just getting to enjoy simple things together, and it's pretty great. Same thing with friends. You'll have a romantic partner if you keep trying, but while you don't, do not miss out on them.

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i'm not sure if i know how to live. or have fun i guess. i look in my closet and i see a keyboard piano that i fizzled out of playing. i have a digital camera hanging from my door, it's been dead for a few months. i have an unfinished model kit on my top shelf and rows of books i havent gotten to yet. i can only get a couple hours in a new game before losing steam. there's an empty aquarium that used to have some plants in it. some of those were doing well but i hollowed it out after winter came. it's like im always surrounded by things that i've almost started doing; i don't know how much of it ever really interested me. i'm not depressed about it exactly, i just wonder if this is going to be a continual trend as i get older. i don't really want to be that kind of person. i can't tell if thinking that most people probably live like this is just cope or not. all i know is that i feel i have no hobbies and this makes me feel inferior or less interesting; i don't want to put too much stock in the whole fractured sense of identity everyone in their early 20s and teens seem to have pretty severely right now. it just bothers me, but it's not like a simple life is the worst thing in the world; you could call me lucky. you could also just call me lazy in simple terms. i miss feeling enraptured by things

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>>8042921
unrelated, here's a cool pic

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>>8042922
actually while im still here
i've been advised by a couple of my doctors that someone like me shouldnt have kids. i dont really have any non e-friends. i think my meds make my head cloudier. it just gets very lonely. i imagine a lot of you are very lonely.
on the bright side, i enjoy my job. more than i had expected to ever enjoy one, at least. im glad im able to work. do you also have a constant anxiety that you're wasting time? i will finish posting now sorry for multi replies

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>>8042905
Thanks for the advice but the funny thing is that she wrote to me and we had a chat/discussion/closure. Feeling better now all in all
>>8042921
Can't say much other than i feel you i also get fairly used to things fairly quickly and that kills my enjoyment of them, sometimes i wonder if i know how to be happy.

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Finally reached my breaking point, and am flying out to talk to the girl I've been obsessing over for the past five years. Just can't live with the regret of how I fucked things up with her, and even though we're friends every time I see her my heart seizes up. I have no clue if she has any feeling left for me beyond friendship, but I'm tired of tearing myself apart over her. I've been stagnating this whole time, thinking the perfect moment would come, but perfect is the enemy of good enough. If she cares, she'll see that. If she doesn't, I'll just have to build myself back up from nothing.

.

>>8042924
i just visited /wg/ and saw this, are you guys good

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Just fucked up my driving exam
>>8043187
Best of luck

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lots of good people in here airing their shit. I respect you all and leave you with a pape.

Thank you for sharing.

>>8043253
What'd you do wrong?

>>8043259
Nice pape, saved.

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>>8039351
neither do I

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I have a shit boss.

He blew up at me for no reason last time we talked. I'm the emotional punching bag whenever he's pissed about other stuff. He knows it, too, and has apologized but keeps doing it. My paycheck is late again. At this rate I'm tempted to ask if he really just wants to pay me once every three months because that's how often the money comes in. I get three months pay in one go, but WTF. He always has an excuse why the check's late. "My kid was sick" "The contractee hasn't paid me" "I had to do electrical work on my house" I get praise in public for the work I do and I know I'm making the company money. Shut up and pay me, motherfucker! I don't even want to finish my current project at this rate. He's lucky I have a work ethic. Did I mention I'm the only one working on this project? What co-workers?

I have dealt with increasing levels of bullshit for about four years now. Currently seeking a new job while working on side-hustles to make ends meet. I am so sick of this.

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I procreated with someone that employs weaponized incompetence and autism to ruin my life because they feel slighted that I just got tired of parenting them as well as our kid. The weed was more important than getting a job, and the refusal to work made us destitute for 3 years on the second chance of making it work. How many chances do you give someone to not split up a family until you realize that this person is sucking the life out of you and setting an awful example for a kid? Now they are the disney parent where they give our child expensive toys and do not have any boundaries, and I am the one who has to do the work while being criticized and controlled constantly with literal autism thought patterns. I'm tired. I have 10 more years of this. I have met someone else and they will have to move here because I will not be allowed to relocate with the child. I am shackled into another decade of dealing with someone who I gave so many chances to and was so tolerant with, and my reward for trying my hardest to make stuff work and not be a split family is to have 10 more years of our kid being weaponized to hurt me in retaliation for "ruining the family". It sucks. I hope our son turns out okay. I am so worried for him. I am worried his other parent will successfully mindfuck him into rejecting me and get him into the deadbeat lifestyle. The family members of my ex are very spiteful, I don't have any family left, and I am genuinely alone with this horror with the exception of my new partner who is fantastic in retaining my sanity. I dunno. This shit sucks. I wish I'd had my parents to beat sense into me when I thought it was a good idea to have a child with someone who failed to launch. I thought if I just loved more and was flexible and never nagged then they would do the right thing like I was doing. A hard lesson to learn. I hope my son forgives me. I was angry as a teenager about my parents until I got older and realized that everyone is fucked up.

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>>8043276
Made a dangerous lane change when i shouldn't even had to plus other minor fuck ups, no big deal but i can't disagree with the examinator.
Fingers crossed for next week.

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>>8043445
you got this.

I failed my first test because I was palming the wheel on left turns. waited a month and then passed easily on my next test.

>>8032783
Slippery slope, bud. Hope you wont/didn't anything stupid.

>>8043390
God bless you sweetheart. I hope it turns out okay. God bless your son as well.

>>8034577
Sauce on the original vid?

>>8036938
I got lucky. I'm young and after getting fired from my last 2 jobs (one for a back injury and another for embezzlement :) I got this one for the USPS as Laborer Custodial. The position is *intended* for disabled vets, but anyone can apply and get trained and hired. By far the easiest job of my life with a few hours of OT every single week too. After the 90 day probationary period where they can fire you for anything, your job protections are out of this world. My training buddy was 55 and was just getting into the postal service too, and only intends to work for 5 years before retiring. I kill multiple hours on my phone every single day, because I get everything I need to do done pretty quickly and I'm the last person my bosses pay attention to. It's an easy life, gives me a lot of time to focus on other things, and I've near total personal freedom. I don't want to stay here forever; I'm young and have ambition to create. But it's truly better than nothing and keeps me in a city I love after the clusterfuck that was my 2023. I've never been so happy to have so few people care about me, but here we are.

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
Practiced all the things I would say
She came over, I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert

I am working too much lately.

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>>8043390
Best of luck to you, anon.

>>8043984
I should look into this. I have a bad leg from an injury that didn't heal right. I'm happy to do OT and overnight. Thanks for the tipoff.

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I feel so lonely and purposeless.
I'm trying my best to change that but getting a job seems almost impossible and building relationships is very hard.
>>8044588
Be careful not to burn out, anon.

>>8045138
Trying not to. It's hard, especially during winter when people tend to get sick. What kind of job are you looking for?

>>8042372
non-LGBTQQ+ rainbow colours.
so nice.

>>8045787
That was mainly a test version for me to try it out. I remade it at a higher res: >>8045749

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>>8043448
I failed the next test... didn't fully stop at a stop, 200 bucks for that silly mistake, otherwise i did pretty well

>>8043187
oh god I'm in a similar situation. Known her for years, she was friends with an ex of mine and I recently learned that she might have had feelings for me. We got back in contact again recently but I'm not sure if there's anything romantic left. Either way it feels like a waste because our lives are taking us in totally different directions (career wise and physically)... but the thought of "what if" still haunts me each time I talk to her.

Best of luck anon, hope your meeting went well

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>>8032783
>>8043671
still here, still haven't done anything stupid. i am now good friends with her, we talk a lot and i think she feels something for me too. my gf is kind for me, but we don't have a lot in common, we mostly just live together. i don't know what i want now, i don't want to hurt anybody, but at the moment im lost

>>8046103
>. my gf is kind for me, but we don't have a lot in common, we mostly just live together

If you don't have anything in common, the relationship is doomed. Having things in common is that makes relationships work over a long time. You're better off trying for the "friend" instead. Breakups hurt, yes, but a little pain means both you and her can move on to someone you both can be really happy with. Staying with her means she misses out on someone better, too.

Under my thumb the girl who
Once had me down
Under my thumb
The girl who once pushed me around
It's down to me
The difference in the clothes she wears
Down to me
The change has come
She's under my thumb

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>>8043253
>>8045887
Well, it's not a dream come true. The second I started to confess she teared up; I think I almost caused her to have another panic attack. We had to go sit on her bed while I consoled her. She managed to tell me she was in a horrible space, that her PhD was all-consuming and that she felt like she would lose a part of herself if she attempted a relationship with anyone. I made her clarify it wasn't a problem with me, and she said it wasn't. She promised she wasn't trying to protect me in some stupid way from herself; then she dropped the bombshell that she loves me, and that she finds me attractive and just doesn't want the life I represent right now. That she doesn't know if she will ever want it, to be married and happy and stable because she's so fucked mentally. She even said she feels asexual sometimes now (which I feel like has to be at least a little bit due to her new SSRI dose). She was such a mess, and so small and scared of me leaving her. She never actually even said "no" through all her tears, it was only "I can't". It was hard to hear, but I reassured her I wasn't leaving and that I was going to wait, even if forever came to pass. I don't think that was what she necessarily wanted to hear but I can't be completely selfless for her anymore. The next day I flew home, and as we drove to the airport I asked her if she would have had a different answer if she had been in a space to want a relationship with someone. She cut me off and said yes, and then told me when she imagines the future, she imagines it with me, with us together. Married, kids, laughing and talking like we do now. We told each other I love you and I flew home. Honestly, what the fuck can you do? I would jerk off in the bathroom alone every day for the rest of my life just for the chance to fall asleep holding her in my arms. I've never felt the kind of hot, sick love she inspires in me with anyone else in my life. She's going to kill me at this rate.

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We are all going to make it, Bros.

Got an audit from the state coming next week for work. Stomach is in knots. The nurse audits once every three years. I'm going to be fucking sick.

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>>8031927
anybody make it through life without ever having a single friend, ever having a woman say I Love You (even in jest or a moment of passion), ever winning anything and just generally living an empty hollow existence?
feels like I've been an observer for the entirety of my 43 years

>>8035032
the orange man isn't that bad
it's what comes after him that will be actually bad
and no one will listen because the media and the Left cried wolf too many times with orange man instead of just be honest that they were disappointed that their designated cunt lost to an ostentatious asshole

>>8035490
>Don't have many friends and rarely see the ones I have, tho seems like only when they want something from me
take it from me, these people were never your friends, they are just selfish parasites
it took me far too long to realize this about people doing me the same way

>>8040874
there were religions before Christianity
you know this I hope
please tell me you don't have that foolish belief that paganism was free thinking and accepting
also
it was called the Dark Ages because it immediately followed the fall of Rome and they weren't really that dark, it was a period of adjustment after an Empire that lasted a thousand years fell
it's always chaotic wen the big dog finally eats it

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I lost my mom to alcohol... She's not dead, but I had to stop talking to her, or letting her try to talk to me. She's the meanest drunk you can imagine, and that trash destroyed her mind over the years. She's a hollow shell of the mom I remember from when I was a kid. She blames everything on everyone else and tries to make me feel like the biggest piece of shit for the smallest things, I've had to walk on eggshells with her since I was a teenager.
The last straw was when I told her ahead of time that I wouldn't be able to make it over to change a headlight bulb in her truck, that I had told her was the easy one to get at, because something came up and I had to help my dad with something much bigger and more important that day. A normal person would ask when we can reschedule. Her response was telling me she hopes me and my dad die.
I'm still fighting with the moral dilemma of cutting her out of my life, but I've tried everything I can to help get her off what I've come to call "the devil in a can", and there's nothing left I can do. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
Took this picture on a walk last month. Might make a good wallpaper.

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This place is a cesspit but I keep coming back

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>>8046949
>Her response was telling me she hopes me and my dad die.
That's unforgivable, no matter how low she is. Can't imagine a parent saying this to their child. I would also cut my mother off if she said this to me - I'd make sure I was as good as dead to her. Nice picture.

>>8046949
>You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
This is the important takeaway here, and a bitter pill to swallow. You've paid your dues, done your penance, been a good son. I will echo what anon said here >>8047098. You can't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Chin up, pal. Take care of yourself.

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>>8047098
>>8047114
This has been going on for so long. Something happened in her pregnancy where I was flipped around and she had to lay on her back for like 5 months to keep me alive. Every time she wants to get at me she uses this as a guilt trip. One time, I got so frustrated I told her I wish she had gotten up and done jumping jacks. I'm amazed our relationship didn't end right then and there. This time she decided to tell me that grandma is rolling over in her grave because I couldn't help her in that specific instance. Since my grandma's death, it gives her more guilt trip ammunition, and I'm done fighting this war.
Thanks for the kind words Anons, it really does help me feel more sure about cutting her out of my life. I can't help but still love her and hope she somehow gets her shit together someday, but she's going to have to do it without me.
Anyway, I helped out at a different store than usual that has a 2nd floor that's been abandoned since the 1970's. I took this picture out a window from up there. It's a simple shot with a default filter, but I like how it turned out and think it's pape worthy.

Pray for me tomorrow. Please.

>>8039351
The more you suffah, the more it shows you really caah! riight? yaahhahh!
You have a really good musical taste, fren.

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I'm afraid i don't know how to be happy, i think i have a brain that too easily gets used to things, so what was exciting becomes mundane and boring too quickly, for example having had a shitty laptop for years, then buying a powerful PC but being apathetic to even play games anymore, also being incel and feeling undesirable for years then dating a beautiful and sweet redhead, quite a catch, but my mind focuses on the little details that keep her from perfection.
I have this project of buying a van and traveling around, that's my goal for the year, even so i wouldn't be surprised if a couple of months in, somewhere far from home I'll realize I'm just bored instead of having the time of my life.

Guess that's just how i am, i can't conform but not in a way that's motivating.

>>8047586
You sound bored. Travel might be just what you need.

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>i don’t know shit
>won’t either to eager know shit
>stranded

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I start my new job next week, which is good but i was apart of layoffs at my last job after only 5 months of being there. Its so frustrating for me because I see people around me who are my age with alot of job security. Me and my ex broke up over a year ago and she was the only woman outside of family who has ever loved me. I accept that its over and cant go back but dammit I hate to say it but I miss her. My sister and cousins are all married except me. I feel like im playing catch up and ill never make it at this point. I dont want therapy, I just want someone to listen to me instead of bottling it up because it takes a huge toll on me. I just want to be happy, i feel like such a failure.

Anyways, im typing this from my phone and I only have mobile wallpaper so here you go.

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Been living off of ASMR for like 3/4 years now, and by ASMR I mean the "worst" kind, GF Roleplays, Friends to Lovers, etc.
Or well at least I think it's the worst, as it basically rotted my brain, cannot even sleep without one playing in the background.
But at least it still works as a 'coping' mechanism of sorts, makes me fall asleep, or just play games and stuff in peace.

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>>8031927
The lack of companionship I've felt in the past couple of weeks has been bogging me down a bit. The dating scene for people in their late 20s is bleak here in the US. I've don the whole dating app thing and I'm over it now. Short term flings where it's just sex and sweet nothings just doesn't do it for me anymore. I don't mind being by myself, but it would be nice to have a girlfriend. However, I need to get myself back on my feet financially and take control of my life. Cocaine really screwed things up.

Here's to capping off my late 20's with prosperity, happiness, and good familiars. Same to all of you guys.

>>8036938
It's alright, I get to be outside and moving around so that's the biggest plus. Just sucks having to drive 120-150 miles a day. Now I know how my dad's felt for so long.

>>8041748
>i want her to know how much she meant to me.

With time, this'll pass. In the meantime just write. I've gotten back into it and man I forgot how good it feels to just jot things down.

My girlfriend was feeling sick so she went to the doctor and has a blood test and they found out she has chlamydia. I haven't had sex with anyone else since 2018 but I never got tested myself afterwards so apparently it's been in my system this whole time and I gave it to her and I feel awful. I have barely talked to her since she told me 2 days ago. I feel like she's going to break up with me and I'm pretty devestated but hopefully we can work through things.

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>>8048934
captcha reset and ate my image, my bad

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>>8048913
What has been the biggest problem? i'm also on a similar situation
>>8048920
It is getting better, plus i just found someone I'm more compatible with, still feel guilty about many things, but it is what it is
>>8048934
Fuck, I just came back from a blood test, just a check up for STDs, hoping i don't have something like ya

>>8042922
this is a horrible picture. you are a black

Tornado sirens going off.

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My phone updated today. Damn thing had to trick me into it. I was half awake and it brought up a notification "Update pending, click to cancel". For an entire YEAR the same damned notification has shown up every month saying "Click to start".

"Your files won't change" my ass. Programs I relied on every single day stopped working. My lock screen went screwy. My settings were reverted to system defaults. I spent four hours getting my programs, wallpapers and settings fixed. Literally only two visible upgrades happened:
> Better night mode with optional extra dim setting
> Visible list of active programs

Fuck Google and Fuck Android.

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>>8049570

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>>8045641
My bad for taking so long, anon. Hope you are doing fine.
>What kind of job are you looking for?
Started searching for an IT internship, but after a while it was any job, really. I didn't apply for, say, McDonald's, but I did for shopkeeper and similar jobs, though they were mostly temporary positions.
Now that a while has passed, I actually got an interview and, a few events later, a proposal/offer. That was last week, I've sent all the documents and am waiting to create a bank account in order to receive my salary - because I need a letter from the company - but the recruiter I'm talking to hasn't written it or given any feedback about the documents.
I had 3 days to send them, and I did so in the last one, because it'd be my first job and it was very confusing to fill them. I felt very bad at the time, but then decided it was just paranoia because I was within the deadline and she told me she'd review them and get back to me, and even wished me a nice weekend. However, I've talked to her twice this week and nothing.
I don't really feel like I can count with it, and today I mostly procrastinated.
>>8049963
That's fucked up. Have you thought about installing another ROM, like LineageOS?
First make sure that there's an official build for your phone, and then that you know what you're doing.

>>8050688
Sounds like progress. Fingers crossed for you, pal. I await your update.

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Just finished college. Also realized how much I hated every single minute of it and lived in misery trying to get through all three years of it. It's over now at least, and I have time to rest and work on my mental health for once. It's hard and feels unnatural kek, but progress is progress.

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Current gf is almost perfect, the woman of my dreams except that she had quite a whore phase and even burned some coal, rather disgusted every time i think about it.

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It makes me seethe so fucking much when my gf forgets or ignores that we had plans for the weekend. I guess I should externalise it and tell her, maybe depending on her reaction I could decide if I continue with this relationship or not... but right now I'm still mad and I kinda want to just ignore her for tomorrow, but that would only create a negative response in her and we'll both be mad and we'll probably end up not talking anything through. Which would make the relationship end in bad terms, which I know will affect me more than her...
God, I hate this feeling

>>8051167
Relationships can be so annoying, it feels like if you have to wonder constantly if it's worth it it probably is not and it's a matter of coming to terms with it.

Another sixty hour week.

>>8051167
>It makes me seethe so fucking much when my gf forgets or ignores that we had plans for the weekend.

Buy one of those actual paper wall calendars with lots of space for writing stuff on and hang that fucker up somewhere obvious where you'll both unavoidably see it on a regular basis, e.g. somewhere in the kitchen like next to the fridge/freezer, or on the larder cupboard door; or wherever, and then when you both agree on plans for something either of you can write it on the calendar in big easy to read writing neither of you can possibly (accidentally) miss

And both of you should put all your appointments and other important events on there too, whether she's going to the hairdressers, or you're taking the car in for a service, or you're both going to a friends birthday, or you're having something delivered by courier, or even your own anniversary & birthdays; whatever it is, put it all on there so you both can see what's coming up and what days are free for making other plans

This as opposed to just talking about doing something and/or maybe you both putting that thing in your phone as a reminder, where it can be easily missed/forgotten by either or both of you

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>>8050688
>installing another ROM, like LineageOS
I want to, but I am having trouble finding an OS that works on my phone. It's a Sony Xperia 10iv. There are OSes for the Xperia 10, but not the much newer and faster Xperia 10iv. Outside of going on Sony's website, downloading the DIY kit version of Android, and learning to roll my own, I'm stuck. I'm glad Sony gives that option at all, but still... whew, lads....

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I quit my job and now I'm fucked.

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I've had a hard struggle for the last 12 months finding employment, and also dealt with a endless list of personal problems from divorce, to my dog dying. After months of working out and getting myself to PT-Pass state, I am in my late 30s and have completed my final interview to be a correctional officer. I've been working at this for 6 months.
I've been waiting all day for the call and my fingers are crossed! Wish me luck!

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>29 years old
>170k a year job
>work 60 to 70 hour weeks
>constantly stressed at work
>own my own home
>getting married in 5 months
>absolutely exhausted all the time and feel like I'm constantly experiencing life on autopilot

All I can't think about is quiting my job, selling my house, buying a condo in a flyover state suburb, and cutting grass / pressure washing / painting houses for a living or some shit...Spend my free time reading, writing, cooking, lifting, and playing video games. Disappear to new country for a month every year. Really would like to pick up HEMA and get back to competitive shape in judo, but I feel so worn down physically.

>>8052643
Best of luck
>>8052879
Do it, remember you work for a living, not live for working

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dated this girl 2 years ago, and she still haunts my thoughts from time to time. i'm already dating someone new and a million times better, and it annoys me that she creeps up in the back of my mind from time to time. trying my best to be kinder to myself and that it's ok if thoughts of her disrupt my day, as long as it doesn't disrupt whatever good is happening in my life.

>>8052643
I got the call that my backgrounds all went well, and my files been moved forward to the boss for his final decision.

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Just turned 26. The same week, I got a promotion and a raise, which was nice.

I feel quite accomplished and unaccomplished at the same time. I've had some successes in my life –moved out early, got a degree from a good school, got a good job, generally have my life together. But I often think that a lot is passing me by. It's difficult to see that certain people have achieved so much by my age –professionally, creatively, academically, what have you – when I really don't think I've done the same. Some of those achievements are so huge and all-encompassing that it seems unrealistic for me to think I'll ever catch up.

I spent the past three years writing a book, which is now being sent along to literary agents. It's nice to have finished a creative project for the first time in my life, but at the same time, it sometimes seems pointless. In the very unlikely event that it does get published, really – who cares? Nobody reads anymore. (Except me, apparently.) It's not even close to making a video game or having a career on YouTube, insipid as those things may seem. At least they make you rich and popular. Have I wasted my time? Have I wasted my youth? Should I have been doing something else? If so, what?

I think I'm at the point where I've "grown up". A lot of the entertainment that I spent my teen years obsessed with – video games, anime, you know the drill –now don't give me the same pleasure they used to. At the same time, I'm discovering a lot of joy in stuff I never noticed before. I really like reading books, and listening to music and podcasts. I manage my home. I cook, I clean, I get groceries. Is that what my 20s is supposed to be?

I dunno. I don't really have any friends, but I'm well-liked at work and with my family. I'm not in a relationship, but that's not really a huge priority for me right now. I've done some stuff, but it all just feels so small and inconsequential.

Is this good or bad? Am I good or bad? I wish I knew.

I like /wg/ a lot.

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Been with a girl for 4 years this month, a year and a half ago she has cheated on me and hid it for 6 months. She has insisted that she won't do it again, though I was home with her 2 kids who I have helped raise as my own. Since I found out its lead to a lot of resentment in me and I know what I need to do, but being alone is one of my biggest fears since I'm also 4 years clean of opioids. The future is scary and hopeful at the same time and I can't pull the trigger. Wish me luck lads

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Been trying to be a more positive happy person lately. Feel like a lot of my self-loathing qualities really hinder my ability to be creative and enjoy life.

Shifting the rhythms of my mind
New melodies in different keys
Chords progressing in time
Only two doors through
Said the mother to her son
You either wait around to die or you be someone
So have a dream to make believe
Don't get caught up in the race
A life decided is a life to never waste

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Im absolutely gonna end up killing myself, this is a life not worth living

>>8053051
Why do you seek validation? There's no right and wrong, if the life you have makes you happy then it's perfect.

Only thing you should probably work on is the no friends and no partner part, but only do it for yourself. Dont change to fit anyone elses expectations.

>>8053047
Congratulations anon! Great news

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I'm getting genuinely afraid AI will make my field obsolete and i will have to do a hard pivot in my career, never been the best to choose a new course though
>>8053051
I get you, but i also think we all sort of feel the same, it's ok to be who you are, take it easy
>>8053072
You're in a relationship with a woman that has 2 kids from previous relationships plus cheated on you and hid it? GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE
Better be alone than with such a person
>>8053080
Keep that up
>>8053125
Why don't you try some crazy stunt first?

>>8053202
>Why don't you try some crazy stunt first?
shot up a black neighborhood??

>>8053051
Any time you've spent enjoying or bettering yourself can never be called wasted time.

>>8053212
I was thinking more among the lines of that ginger that just ran the entire length of Africa, maybe try something crazy like that and find yourself, or die trying

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Nothing, if I can help it.

You've been thinking about the time
You've been dreading it
But now it seems that moment has arrived
She's at the edge of the bed, she gets in
But it's hard to turn the opposite way tonight

>>8053395
>Everything in life has to be about physical activities
come on with this David Goggins shit...

>>8053202
>I'm getting genuinely afraid AI will make my field obsolete and i will have to do a hard pivot in my career, never been the best to choose a new course though

The point of automation is to replace labor. When people invented the textile mill, weavers complained about going out of a job. Then tailors complained clothes factories would put them out of business. When cars were invented, horse-driven carriage drivers complained about being out of a job. New jobs have replaced those old ones. This is the way the world progresses. Your old job may die, but work will still be around. Look for new opportunities spawned by these new technologies.

Also, remember that AI isn't that smart yet. It just hammers together things that look similar from things others have made. Things may not be as over as you think.

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>>8031927
I hope my loved ones will die before me so I can suicide in peace, knowing that they wont have to deadl with it.

>>8054030
get in crushing debt first, free money

>>8053865
No one implied that, go write a book or whatever, if you're gonna kill yourself you already don't give a fuck, try to take that in a better direction
>>8053958
Thanks, but things are getting that bad see "Humans need not apply"
>Also, remember that AI isn't that smart yet. It just hammers together things that look similar from things others have made.
And it was much less smart just a couple of years before, think of the trajectory, people were mocking AI hands a year ago and now it can make hyper realistic videos

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I'm currently facing a very hard time. Balancing a full-time job with two demanding educational programs leaves me with very little time for myself. I'm not getting enough sleep and experiencing more pressure than ever before.

Part of me just wants to ditch everything and crawl into bed for a week straight (wouldn't that be a dream?). But the other part knows how badly I want the money I get from my job and my real desire to complete these programs that I know will positively transform my life.

All this doesn't mean that I'm a hardworking person and all that. I'm 25 years old and I've achieved literally nothing. I'm pushing myself this hard because I feel like I'm too late.

This period started about a month ago and will continue for another 5-6 months, it will only get harder till it ends. Honestly, I'm unsure if I can make it to the end.

>>8055036
Take a deep breath, pal. You sound like you're bettering yourself and for that I commend you. Keep at it. Good things will come. Post back with your progress.

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>>8053072
Godspeed, anon.

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just caught covid for the third time. both times before fucked me up and changed my life. I am not pumped

>>8055126
How...? No offense, I'm just wondering how this happens.

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is my boipussy ready for a real dick

>>8055173
if you have to ask, it is not

>>8054263
shooting up a black neighborhood it is then

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It's all crap, I've wasted most of my life away whether by choice or by necessity and lack of choice. I gambled all my money on crypto so maybe if I'm lucky I can come out with more than I started, since desperate times yada yada...

If I had millions to my name I don't even know if it could make me happy. I know no one's ever done it before in history, but one of the most universal human sentiments is "I just wish I had a 2nd chance, I just wish I could fix those mistakes", and it'd be pretty cool if I could figure out a way to, I don't know, slow or reverse aging, or travel backwards through time. No one's ever done it before, but maybe I could be lucky enough to be the first one to say "No fuck you, I'm gonna fix those mistakes and take my second chance." Delusion, but it keeps me warm thinking of it.

>>8053072
You can do it, anon. Be strong.

>>8055036
>All this doesn't mean that I'm a hardworking person and all that. I'm 25 years old and I've achieved literally nothing. I'm pushing myself this hard because I feel like I'm too late.
I know this feel, but you've got to snap out of that shit, anon. Keep working hard, keep getting better, but please understand that your life isn't going to fall into ruin if you haven't accomplished everything before you turn 30.

>>8035496
This is true. Kids specifically

>>8046103
Excuse me, what is the name of this style of image?

>>8033109
sorry bro - it will get better. promise.

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>>8031927
>I hate people who make you feel small
>I hate having my back against the wall
>you know I hate being talked down to

>>8055183
based
>>8055225
stop wasting time with those delusion and take control of your life right now, make something out of it

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I'm almost 27 and I am at a point in my life where I feel like I've done absolutely nothing. I feel like a complete failure as a person and I feel hollow everyday I wake up, sometime I wish I never wake up. It feels like I am slowly sinking away, and when I try and push myself out its like I'm not even trying to begin with. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed on what to do with my life. I dont even know where to start, like wtf does one even do with anti-social, autistic, depressed, loner fuck like me?

Anyway, maybe I am overthinking it but that hollow feeling has been with me since highschool, its like it haunts me.

>>8055784
What do you want to achieve? think about it even if it is a small thing, come up with a goal or a theme.

>>8053051
I remember seeing this in that one leafy vid lol, also calvin.jpg lmao

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>>8046103
Hello past me, I think I am over it. It's been quite a journey. Told few friends about the situation, got many conflicting advices. I am close friends with the girl, and I think she sees me as just a friend (but I am not certain of that), so I've kept the feelings to myself and haven't spoken to her about it, but I think she knows. I am still with my gf, but we are on edge of breaking up.
I do not feel sad so much anymore.

>>8055327
I don't know the style, I know the artist. Search for Aenami

>>8056141
if you're still with your current gf, whether you're on the verge of breaking up with her or not, that really isn't the best time to be considering chasing after someone else, especially if that someone else is a 'close friend', because the chances are fairly high that you'll not only actually end up losing your current gf as a result of chasing after your friend, but you could also end up losing your friend too if she in any way thinks that you're just trying to score her on the rebound.

at this point better to keep your friend and try to work out and try to fix with your gf exactly why your relationship is apparently breaking down after your time together as a couple - look at the things that brought you together, and what's changed for both of you since