Darren Styles editionhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAwh1h4iD3s
dogshit zingers sub edition
Just went for a lovely run :)
fuck i didn't realise it was new thread time before i made my postyou're welcome to cross-thread reply to me if you'd like lads
I know exactly the response this will get but it's too early to tell anyone elsethe mrs is unironically pregnant, positive test last night
>>201558226that would deprive you of this (You) that i'm giving you
>>201558216this 1's 4 u babehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HOY-AaRlh4
>>201558234hey man you put the thought of black lads in my head with your neuroticism about what our response would be, that's on you not meanyway congratulations
>>201558234if dubs call it arsewog
I love the smell of napalm in the morning
>>201558226In the interest of maintaining positive Anglo-Australian relations, please accept this songhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsidcB-24JU
>>201558269fuck off i'm not in the moodi have a headache and i'm on my period
>>201558250cheers>>201558255thanks for that, one less thing to worry about
>>201558232Ever heard of proper punctuation? Deary me, this is borderline illegible
>>201558286
>>201558269primary school disco throwback
lalala :3
hiding from a poo
>>201558292you forgetted the full stop lad
>>201558292esl freak
been feeling really paranoid lately
A lot of early 2000s music being banded about here. Think 40 year olds are lurking
>>201558336well leave him alone
now that i'm nearly 30 i consider 40 to be the new 30, i have to, i simply can't carry on in any other manner
>>201558234paternity test
>>201558336look behind you
>>201558199lol used to love this chav and his mates
>>201558359no need, together since 15 and married for 5 years
>>201558247cheers la
>>201558342can't be lurking if they're posting thicko
blocking the posts i don't like by covering them with poo
>>201558336it's the magnetosphere weakeningThis week is particularly bad, but allows us to see the northern lights
Any good blogposts going
Let's get this Blue Light Disco jumpin'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2CIiES_xxk
>>201558377Don't see how that's relevant
>>201557591>>201557605i just follow artists, my algorithm is very well curated so that i basically never see text posts or drama or any gay shit like that but sometimes a dead palestinian sneaks through
>>201558396gave the cat a bit of a pat earlier
>>201558377paternity testit is the logical decision
anyone seen the new alien film where its got the two lads you'd meet down the pub vs the alien
putting a poo smiley face next to all the posts i like :)
>>201558410did you? lets see
Mad how much of the world's cultural memory is Australians uploading their old VHS tapes of Saturday night Rage onto youtube
The average household pays an extra £133 per year to cover the cost of shoplifters
>>201558426morning goodyank
FAO 40+ years olds: your music is shit, play proper music
>>201558451so fucking what
anyone seen the new gimmick where you say racial slurs
>>201558446DON'T CALL ME DUDE
racial slurs
standing up and doing a little pace when someone calls me a goodyank
>>201558418That's Dark Star
>>201558446very good and well-observed post
>>201558481Go on give us a twirl
doing the gimmick where i grab my willy and stroke it until it cums
>implying the aim isn't to make you listen to shit tuneslike anyones gonna share the real gold, get realclueless
had to use soy milk this morning. can already feel my breasts growing and the listeria setting in
>>201558473fuck off and diehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeEs6e0FdwU
>>201558504nuh-nuh-nuh-NIGGERoof excuse me
>>201558481My favourite is raghead. All time classic
>>201558481Skippy says what
>calling posting a link "sharing" and thinking literally anyone clicks themboomer mindset
>>201558517Disgusting stuffHad a cup of tea made with soy milk once and I actually killed and raped the person who prepared it for me, it was THAT bad
>>201558508might do that for a 2nd time this morning
>>201558508go on show us then
my legs are a bit fucked from the gym
Listening to Iron Maiden
Someones complaining ergo someones listening>literallyyou're stupid, lol!
got almond milk in the fridge straight from the almond titties
burger time de lads it lovely
went to grab my willy and grabbed a poo by mistake
>>201558557Good lad, might join youNot listened to them in years
capturing black men and storing them in my facility
something unusual going on neath my foreskin
>>201558527for me it's "chinaman" simply because it isn't offensive in any way but we pretend like it is because non-whites are so insecure that you have to tiptoe around their every little feeling, it basically encapsulates the inherent superiority we have over them that everyone is aware of but they can't stand
>>201558557haha teenage dirtbag innit
https://phys.org/news/2024-08-people-confidently-wrong-opposing-views.htmlwow what a shocker
>ergo
just been on an incel ride
>YouTube Fucking hell, go back to 2015
leftypol decrying xitter and using mastodon and then crying about no engagement and then going back to xitter
>>201558557dun dada dun dada dun dada dun
>>201558584yes a small welsh town apparently
Having a cheeky 3am snap, shrimp in melted butter
on my knees begging my poo for forgiveness
Cheesed to meet you
>>201558590Have you ever taken a punctuation class?
>>201558572what for
>>201558595>"There are clear consequences to this lack of awareness, and we have seen countless real-world examples. The recent UK riots were borne out of a small group of people who were probably very confident in their (mis)understanding of the views and beliefs of Muslims and asylum seekers,bizarre conclusion
>>201558605>go back to 2015chance would be a fine thing
>>201558642experiments
>>201558641none of your fucking business.
>>201558605BUILT ME A CAR THAT CAN TAKE ME THERE
>BUILT MEdrinking already eh
>In 1943 George Orwell told Tribune readers not to use insulting nicknames for people of different races. "The word 'native' is flung about all over the place. 'Negro' is habitually printed with a small n, a thing most Negroes resent. One's information about these matters needs to be kept up to date. I have recently been going through the proofs of a reprinted book of mine, cutting out the word 'Chinaman' wherever it appears and substituting 'Chinese'. Even 'Mohamedan' is now beginning to be resented; one should say 'Muslim'
looking at a poo from the corner of my eyes
>Smoking a cigarette in a pub beer garden? Can't be having that can we.Actually completely hate the people who run this countryThey are genuinely horrific slugs in need of salt
erryting gwaan be alree
remember when mousenonce's tooth fell out?
>>201558199Darren Shan
>>201558715this is quite harsheveryone knows that blacks look like gorillas, whites look like chimpanzees, downs syndromes look like orangan tans and the chinese resemble baboon foetuses (hence their appetite for me)
>>201558735shahar?
>>201558700I GOT ME CHRYSLER IT SEATS ABOUT TWENNY SO HURRY UP AND BRING YOUR JUKEBOX MONEY
>>201558715i look like this and say this
>>201558606saw many people do this some multiple times even but they would be back to posting the next day lol
counting the rings of a poo to discover its age
>>201558763let love into yah heart mi brudda
i looked at poopoo looked at mewe may have lookedbut did we see?
my testarcle hurts
hi cute aussies
im in love with the shape of poo
>>201558797covid
>>201558800O/////O....
Don't see the hubbub over Argentine shrimp desu, tastes like all other shrimpI'm disappointed
>>201558800im quite hideous actually
>>201558797do you know where to buy poppers in australia? i've heard they're legal here but i'm not seeing them in any chemist warehouse catalogues
>>201558819His name is Lionel and he has feelings
poo testicles
>>201558764As if Shahar reads anything
Girlfriendberg's friend is staying overJust took a sly whiff of her trainers whilst she sleeps grotty little goblin I am
fingering my arsehole til I cum poo
Really want a gin and tonic
>>201558837errr what for lad
>another tooth just fell outsick of it lads
took my doorknob out of my bedroom door so i can spray water out to scare off any poo that may be lurking outside
Banning the internet when I come to power
>>201558819Generally the best prawns are fresh and localYou can't even try our prawns (because they have a viral disease that means we can't even sell them to other people in the same state)
When you walk, do your arse cheeks tense alternately with each step?
>>201558853to better relax my sphincter so my boyfriend can better penetrate me, obviously
>>201558797nice and full eh? *slaps them with a wooden ruler*
>>201558857are you from the medieval times
thwack
>>201558853One presumes bum fun>>201558837Mate just go to an adult shop. They're not legal by any long shot but that won't stop the bored middle aged lady from selling deadly chemicals from the locked drawer beneath the counter
can hear my neighbour talking loudly on his phone, his voice is muffled by the walls but i could swear i heard him say my name a few times, getting paranoid lads, really fucking paranoid
>>201558891Think I saw this porno too
hyperventilating at the thought of poo
was just accosted by a poo
why do brits call bottle shops "off licences"
>>201558944trying a bit too hard now
>>201558933u going through withdrawals or something
Right, I'm off for a... Well.. Y'know.
>>201558956because if you dont have a license for that jar of piss you can fuck off
Imagine going to a pub beer garden on a baking hot friday night in the peak of summer after toil and you can't even enjoy a ciggy with your pint
>>201558933Stop entertaining the thoughts in your head
>>201558959needed that x
rorke licking the lid of his yoghurt container
GASPING for a shit
absolute state of the boot licking runts who voted labour thinking that they were going to be in any way better than the tories
>>201558977Maybe you shouldn't have rioted Rorke
>>201558903medieval people had better teeth than we do (no sugar)
only a matter of time before the thought crime police break my door downnot been attending the mosque for my goat fucking lessons, on top of that I might have said something islamophobic online
there was a yank in here the other day asking if australians have drive thru bottleshops or "liquor stores" as his sort call themwe invented them, of course we did, who else huh? who else?
>>201558956It's short for "off-premises licence" i.e. you can't consume the booze on-site
there anyone out there still clapping and banging pots for the nhs you reckon?must be at least one
>>201558972a filthy olive oil slathered external hardrive deadman's switch wank?
>>201559035yeh me. do it every midnight
>>201558903well just part of it really but stillI brush 2x a day and still every now and then a bit of tooth just falls offI want some dentures, I'm sick of it
>loving the nhs? it is all so tiresome
>>201559035Everyones gaslighting each other that they never barked on command now
might go throw poo grenades at migrants and migrant hotels
>rollout update yday>Lead engineer and designer both in leave for the rest of the weekLiterally why would they do this
>>201559085specky bam
putting sunscreen in the chemtrails over australia to save them from skin cancer
How often do you listen to Swedish songs?https://youtu.be/VjZwz3yxS9I
>>201559084I wish you luck jeet
my wife's boyfriend has covid, it has affected the whole community
the british empire seemed to just love making up tons of wacky bullshit notions about etiquette and such and then codifying them into law
Did the rest of the anglosphere have an alcohol prohibition phase or was that just us?
>>201559085They've got places to be, things to do, LIVES TO LIVE, RORKE
anyone else howl at how behind the times diego ishe's only just posting country songslol bro country peaked last year it's basically on the decline nowlol bro he's posting charli xcxyeah bro brat "SUMMER" it's over now you freakhowling at lil diego in his timeshifted house
>No your honour it was just a joke
>>201559085Kek I work in construction and project managers do this all the fucking timeThey're so confident that it's all in order and so done with it all that they'll take their three weeks overdue leave on the handover day
>>201559122Hopefully soon, allah wills it
is that one insurance company still using that creepy russian-accented meerkat as their mascot?
>>201559113What makes you say this?
>>201558977I wouldnt go to a pub beer garden if its no smoking.
Higher taxesFewer freedomsA bright future ahead
>>201559162they have a bumbling australian wombat friend now
>>201559167the fact that the term "off licence" and people seem to be perfectly happy to follow suit without ever questioning the whos, whats, whens, or whys
lathering my hands up with diarrhoea and clapping them together over my willy and rubbing them back and forth like i'm making play doh snakes
>>201559162Dunno mate, I don't watch adverts
>>201559162dont think its an insurance companybut yes and theyve got an australian wombat everybody hates now too
>>201559180You've just described the Johnson administration
imagine how delusional you must be as a man in the year of our lord 2024 to not immediately get a paternity test no matter what
>>201559172policy's working then
how do i heal my broken mind
drinking drain cleaner and pooing out my intestines
>>201559222what policy? i always smoke at the pub
>>201559162They're not actually an insurance company they're an insurance marketing company whose whole business model is you being ignorant of the fact that there are government-run comparison websites out there that are 300% better than their payola bullshit at allowing you to genuinely compare insurance policies
>>201559196Why is she dancing like a child?
>>201559218internet's not real life mate
>>201559196why is she doing that
>>201559194you mean the quokka? i thought that was a different company>>201559203not to be rude or anything but if you don't know then why reply to me? to tell me you don't watch advertisements? well then i believe congratulations are in order>>201559209yanks seem to like quokkas, i enjoy mystifying yanks with our display of bizarre wildlife
>>201559198Don't see what's whacky about that, quite a straightforward name that's passed into colloquialism
>>201559227once you actually want to, you will know what to do. despite what you think you don't actually want to be normal, you don't what a gf, you don't what a stable life. you have subconsciously made the decision that continuing your incellish life is preferable to the difficulty change will require. Fix that first, and the rest will come naturally.
>>201559200>>201559229corrrrr
>>201559255>you mean the quokka?
>>201559270can't believe I made the same typo twice fml. anyways you get the point
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEf1lOtqxwAOH GET FUCKED
waiting to be diagnosed with cancer to turn my life around
>>201559284never seen this before
Punctuation has greatly improved in this thread. I'm glad my threats and warnings have been heeded
desu I can't imagine they will actually manage to get through a total blanket ban on being able to smoke in a pub beer garden or similarAt the very least it will be you have to have a designated smoking area or people will just have to stand out the front of the pub to light upIf it did actually become something as draconian as no smoking allowed at all on or around the premises if you have been served a drink that would be such an awful, awful ideaAgain the only people I see who like this policy tend to be the same freaks who like pretending Welsh is an actual language, cycling, the EU and ULEZ
>>201559284that's a quokka shit mate!!
>>201559286you buzzing on opioids too lad?
>>201559322Sorry mate can't stomach such boring posts before noon
>>201559322welsh is a real language that they speak in northern wales
can any aussies confirm if neetbux from cenno are better than job centre? asking for a mate
IIRC the wombat makes them a chili con carne and he misreads a "pinch of chili powder" as a "pint of chili powder" and hilarity ensues
Smoking ban outside nightclubs seems utterly ridiculous
sucking a quokka
drank beer and now i'm hiccuping up bubbles
vomiting down the stairs
>>201559122We had a temperance movement because we have and have always had weird Protestant evangelical types who are prudish in a way not normally found in Christianity outside the US.
slamming some heroin up my arse because i cant cope with my gay incel life
>>201559284We have a health insurance company that campaigns that they aren't a "quokka sh..."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59hHHvF9BNECringe but not as cringe as that fucking wombat
perky braless tits in TK Maxx
formatting of that post is an affront to the sense
>nightclubs>suffering starmer plan:>make it even harder get em to ban smoking outsidecan't make it upin starmer's britain you will do nothing but worship immigrants
just done a rotting broccoli compost fart, nearly poo time methinks
>>201559357Won't happen because there aren't enough cops to enforce it
>>201559355i get 450 a fortnight
quokking a sucka
>>201559371lolquokka shitanyway thats a kangaroo
Might get on the bevvies
>>201559399Bet you It'll be those third party goon hires who dispense on the spot fines for littering or whatever
>>201559399You are fucking retarded and have no FUCKING clue how the world works you stupid STUPID CUNT
>>201559423Quokka is a type of wallaby you bigot
>>201559046kek
>>201559455wallaby fucked
>>201559400Fortnite lol
cant be bothered with learning how to buy drugs off the dark net id probably become some sort of incel junkie anyway so its for the better
The fruits of Brexit have borne forth
>>201559455QUOOKK OFF
>>201559464https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mantled_Howler_Monkey_(Alouatta_palliata)_(W_ALOUATTA_PALLIATA_R1_C2).ogg
>>201559470ahaha
wallaby or wallanottoby
>>201559490I know how to improve the satisfaction of those 15 year olds
>>201559430MaybeBut you can just ignore them anyway
>>201559526You can be thrown out of a club you fucking stupid FUCKING TWATT
Hope they do ban smoking simply because it would be funny
>>201559544>go out to smoke>get thrown out?thrown out of the outside?
business idea: open world wallace and gromit game a la gta/simpsons hit and run
In captchas here, you can replace 2 with z, you replace 0 with o, you can replace 5 with s, you can replace 8 with b. So why can't you replace 4 with a?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzbgGpidsh0
*gets thrown out of the outside**goes back inside*
>>201559357as recently as 2019 i've been to places where people were lighting up darbs indoors and no one gave a shit
>>201559571:3
>>201559571uhm cute aussie post
>>201559578they're such off-putting little freaks honestly don't know why people think they're so cute
>>201559578lol is the camerawoman one of those thai brides
>>201559571Got a Shawn the Sheep puzzle game for the Switch from one of the niblings last birthday and it was actually pretty fun
>*lights up*>*lifetime banned*
As an Englishmen of Irish descent who is not a fan of the blacks or immigrants and is very happy to be an Englishmen, I am genuinely saddened by the Irish diaspora meme and look forward to when it's consigned to the meme rubbish bin.I've said my piece.
Why cant businesses decide if they want to allow smoking?Pubs, nightclubs, restaurants etc for smokers. They would all be 18+ anyway.Then the businesses that want no smoking can have it.
biz idea: hairy cocksheaths for men who are insecure about having no hair on the shaft
>>201559629nibling? nigger sibling?
>>201559610That's my Mum you cunt
Why are there so many aussies here today? Is it anpac day or something
>>201559645Um they can already do that mate
>>201559645cos government want sto control everything
>>201559638>As an Englishmen of Irish descent>As an Englishmen>an Englishmen>Englishmen>The weighted mean IQ for data collected in Ireland was 94.3>The average IQ in the UK is 99.1
>An incident which saw two women lock a crying toddler in an aeroplane toilet has sparked an online debate in China on how to manage children in public spaces.
biz idea: rental tits
business idea: just stop wanting to paint your lungs black and give yourself cancer
collecting the gfs vaginal discharge in a ziplock bag to spread on toast later
business idea: australian bf
>>201559689My IQ is 137, so it's fine.
>>201559689a lot of irish iq studies are rubbishboth nations have eseentially the same iq
mad how the thread is good before 'those' people wake up.
>>201559649Funny you should say that..
>>201559670Not really. I know nightclubs that don't enforce smoking bans and pubs that bring out the ashtrays after a lock in. But why not allow it to happen legally? >>201559681Sick of it. We live in tyranny. Tory and Labour there is no fucking difference.
>>201559689The average IQ is always 100 no matter what. Why do normie mongs always get this wrong
>>201559196need her out of that masculine office wear and into a sundress.
>>201559737Wagies? Agreed, not surprised they cuckpost the most when they are literally cucks for their boss.
>>201559761are these cuckposts in the thread right now or do you just see them wherever you go?
>The average IQ is always 100 no matter what.
>>201559778 name on sn
Ban carsNoone needs to go faster than 30MPH
I have a date with an Asian woman in a few weeksyou all hated me, doubted me, called me an incel, and yet here I am at the cusp of total victory Thanks for nothing suck my coco
>>201559795this post brought to you by Big Horse
dum dee dee dum dee dee dee dee doo doo
>>201559802good lad, gratz on making it. hope you hit it off.
How did the land of Anglo-Saxon liberty turn into a nation of such spineless banhappy spastic gay bender mongs?
>>201559802Hope she tries to convince you to buy shares in her foreign real estate scheme
When you watch Lawrence of Arabia at the cinema, is there a break in between? It’s four bloody hours
I'm 6 foot 2 and broad shouldered, if I impregnated an East Asian would I create a super Hapa or just a normal Hapa?
>>201559802not into the diagonal vaginas myself personally
>>201559758You are very fucking stupid
glad starmer is taking a stand against anti-British behaviour like hooliganism and smoking down the pub so that we promote our real values like multiculturalism, celebrating Eid, and arresting people who take the piss
>>201559831youre supposed to have a break at the scene where the man feeds his camel for 5 minutes at the 2 hour mark
Ban carsBan smokingBan meatBan binge drinking (2 drink max enforced by NHS app)Ban dissenting opinionsBan going abroad on holiday
Next they’ll ban drinking at pubs
Down with that sort of thing
>>201559831id expect a 10 minute intermission.
>>201559839Normal hapa, retardA weak little ugly chink
>>201559831you spend 4 hours posting on /brit/ it's not that bad.
>>201559867Nah
>>201559839The Super Supreme GentlemanOtherwise known as the Chanklet
seeing a lot of 'they should ban smoking in beer gardens because I get upset when I smell a whiff of cigarette smoke when i'm trying to enjoy my meal' commentary
Mental how normies can sit down and watch 8 hours of a netflix series, but a 4 hour film is too much for them.
>>201559831Yes, intermissions at cinemas were the norm back thenShould bring them back I reckon
>>201559815cheers x
If they actually banned cigarettes I would probably successfully quit desu as I can't see myself becoming some black market mong
>>201559903Definitely been to a fillum relatively recently where they had an intermission but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was
Nicotine keeps you sharp and alert, Cannabis makes you calm and docile. Put two and two together my leds, you know it makes sense.
>>201559839depends which country you go for.
>>201559938Napoleon?
>>201559938it's like a little break where the pause the film for you to go to the loo
>>201558251>>201558251
>>201559958>>201559958>>201559958
been drinking the h2o like my life depends on it tonight
Mad how all the lebs here are burning down each other's tobacconists because the vape ban broke their brains
>>201559758howling good troll
