Ever since I transitioned and my GF started plumping up I've been having more and more sexual thoughts about eating and getting fat and I've starting reading BBW comics and I keep considering doing it, but I've always been thin and am afraid>thinmoder girlmoder
>>43130871i settle for chubby
eating is malebrained desu
if u eat, u poop. pooping is gross. this simple mentality trick has lost me dozens of kilograms
>>43130871>How do you balance wanting to be healthy with developing a massive fat fetish?just become chubby :p not fat
I spent my life focusing on academics and career to distract from dissatisfaction I recognize that, but how do I get a personality now. Is it possible to get feminine if Iam basically a nerd guy with no emotion
>>43133723tfw love computer science but the degree was just programming nowadays so studied something else
>>43133723Lmao bro. I'm a nerd and got into coding at 12. I'm probs a high functioning autist. Fuck the software industry, seriously. Fuck it so damn much. I don't get along with anyone. Nobody has my standards. Middle mgmt just thinks cutting corners & accruing tech debt is being "pragmatic." Everybody knows tech debt lingers forever, nobody's gonna even let you go back & fix it, there's tickets you gotta do, features to add, bugs to squash, cleaning up the steaming pile of shit that is the codebase ain't a ticket so it ain't your job. And upper mgmt is even worse. Istg if I wasn't a remote contractor my boss would've probs tried to fuck me like he fucked all the HR girls.Fuck corporate, fuck software. I'm literally trying to get out of it but all my autistic ass knows is software.
>>43133373normalfags who can only think about fields and interests purely in the context of narrow and immediate financial interests like a bugman public official should be euthanized>>43133723Programs are wonderful little objects that we can build and manipulate in numerous ways to answer questions and explore our universe. It's hard to remember sometimes, but CS is deeply alive, and I'm of the firm belief that it can not only be a form of creativity, but a form of power that those who indulge in the craft can use for good.The tech industry can eat my ass. I was there watching every I/O and WWDC with starry eyes when I was nine, and I was there when every single corp settled on the businesses of addiction, private intelligence, democracy shredding, regulatory capture and weapons development. Which wouldn't be so bad for me if they remembered that the point of a computer is that its behavior is defined and well-understood.I'm sorry that you got DOCTORLAWYERENGINEERed into spending your precious time. You learn to dodge that shit very quickly in immigrant families. Economics is very cool, please consider studying it.
>>43134087>>43134123Thank you for your responses, to be honest I didn't hate learning computer science itself when I was in college and I got good grades. I like the feeling of conjuring spells on the computer, when I learned about big O and stuff my brain was on fire tying the idea to ideas in economics. I think it's a good thing you know, all those hippie programmer free software types seem like genuinely one of the better movers and shakers when it comes to maybe making the world an actual better place.I hope you too can find some outlet for your passion that's good. As for myself idk, it's hard to get into other jobs without experience or a degree. I did get a minor in economics at least.
>>43133350I did the same with focusing on academics, tho as a distraction from like gender shit/to help repping and as a general distraction ig.And idk either lol, im out of academics for good now and gotta find a job. And idk i feel extremely depressed, aimless and like a non person rn (more than usual).I used to enjoy what i studied, now i kinda dont give a shit anymore lol.At the same time i also lost interest in all hobbies i had. Idk its weird, pls do tell if you figure out how to get a personality post academics tho cuz i desperately need one too i think.
i constantly think about how i should've been raped or abused or something. like sure i got emotionally manipulated by my parents but like i feel like i shouldn't be this broken as a by-product of it. maybe if someone physically harmed me or seriously violated me it would fix my discipline, or at least it would make more sense why i'm like thispic unrelated
>>43133811>getting themselves into repeated situations with DV, SA, and rapeliterally the worst thing in the world having a girlfriend like this
>>43133999that's not your gf bro you're just taking your turn
>>43134044yeah I know it’s someone else’s turn right now
>>43133893>should've been>i don't want itpick
>>43133934>>43133952Yes, I feel this too. However I know what it leads to: an endless cycle or spiral into worsening self-worth. The punishment loop ends only when you can’t take more abuse and you’re left as a husk of a person who has been so abused by yourself and others that you don’t know how to get out.Point being, the answer is to slowly and surely work on your life and self worth until you’re proud of who you are. You have to see yourself as someone worth loving, just as you’d love any person or your own child. You have to believe that you have as much capacity for gentleness and openness as you do for darkness.Abuse from partners or others will only leave you damaged and more unsure of your worth. Worth comes from slow, small actions every day that help you feel aligned with your heart and connected with others. I’ve watched my mom spend her entire life outsourcing her self worth to others and she can only put on this false temporary sense of self worth because her father died young and abandoned her. She’s been in lots of abusive relationships. It’s fucked. But if she can’t accept love then no amount of love (or abuse) will fix her. She has so much kindness and gentleness but she doesn’t believe deep down that she’s good or has worth…
i feel like iwnbaw and my voice screams male. ive tried voice training but its Just so deep and gravelly. i don't show my chin here because its so disgusting, and im a horrible person
>>43132849water isnt viscous but it has viscosity.
>>43132885Notice I didn't say genderviscosity.
>>43132468Yeah bro this costume thing is over and when youre old youll be even more suicidal
>>43132468Does this feeling of despair outweigh how you would feel living as a man again. I mesn surely the reason you transitioned in thr first place is because you felt so awful and uncomfortable living as a man. Is that worse than now? Basically pick which hurts least
>>43132468I recommend cleaning your mirror before your next selfie. It makes you look very bad taking a dirty mirror selfie.
what the h*ck is tboy swag anyway
I need to groom a cumboy(girl)
>>43132488i'm gay, also my dick is small
>>43134681I need a bf with a tiny dick
>>43134692psyche dude my dick is huge (i'm still gay tho)
>>431324889/10 its looking like a butch lesbian trying to be a faggot... oh wait
Cis men on hrt are just the more mature version of hrt femboys.
>>43133258I am a lot happier. Obviously still gotta lock in now and live the rest of my life doing whatever I want.
>>43133258Honestly I've thought that taking HRT would unlock milfhood for femboys, nice to know it is the case.
>>43133686its so worth it. Twink death is beaten in the year of our lord twenty twenty six but people don't want you to know it.
>>43133083Can you post examples of how men on hrt are supposed to look?
>>43133742a real cis man on estrogen looks like a regular man in clothes or a slightly feminized one but still obv a man happy with being a man
is it so bad to wanna be dominated and forced into pleasure someone please tell me is it just cuz im too ugly
Show us your b hole
>>43134020I'd love to cuddle with you
>>43134609thats all they ever want… why cant you wanna top me
>>43134616I'm a tranny myself
>>43134635your useless then i know trannies like me i want normal attention
(I've seen a thread about this before so for some of you this may be redundant.)But I am so fascinated that a considerable number (not all) of completely straight men decide to transition, start HRT, and then gradually or quickly become attracted to men as a woman.I've been thinking about this phenomenon for a while and have a few theories:1. They were attracted to men all along, and were repressing their romantic desires to fit the mold of the "normal" cis-het man.2. Societal expectations demand that a woman be with a man. They're going against norms to transition, but benefit most in a world that favors het women.3. It is simply easier to find romance as a woman who is desired by straight men--they're the horniest and most populous demographic of romantic partner.4. I've heard some transwomen say that they became attracted to men after starting estrogen. Does HRT reorient attraction? Or is it simply a placebo effect?I'm sure some of you have recognized this pattern of straight men becoming straight women. What do you guys think is the cause?
>>43134614Being with guys is consequence of adopting femininity, not the primary motivation.
>>43134614Pretty sure lots of AGP would relate to this
There is 100% some kind of HRT effect. Like the smell of guys alone becomes kinda intoxicating. Thats the most clear and obvious thing but there is probably some smaller and subtler effects.I was never attracted to guys but will reluctantly admit now that the thought of laying on a dudes chest sounds comfy af
>>43134630There had to have been some amount of attraction beforehand, like "only being into dick, but not guys"Basically 1. in the OP
>>43134646that makes some sense but i think it's probably an organizational-activational thing and you can't just give estrogen to a man and expect him to be aroused by boy smells
do I pass?
>>431345535ft 8
>>43134607yep
>>43134618Its fine. Especially in Germany. Youre doing good little potato head :)
>>43134674thanks :) Calling me a potato head kinda makes it backhanded but I'll let it slide bc I'm in a good mood also my bf is taller
>>43134683Its a term of endearment
this idiot is going 8 mph
>>43134427you dont pass just yet, but ygmi with some patience
>>43134427this guy is either drunk or on the damn phone
>>43134427Yes but not on a corner. Come on
>>43134427Passing is problematic. Just stay in your lane.
If trannies are not just conformists trying to fit into gender roles by transitioning, then why do they universally shit on men who have facial hair and wear female clothing or makeup simultaneously?
>>43134652um, no facial hair is taboo for women too, women who have intersex stuff going on often pluck it out and it fucks up their follicles from doing it society is very brainwormed by gender roleshair outside the head is sort of seen as barbaric
>>43134657but we were talking about men and amab nonbinary having facial hair. which is normal to have.
>>43134661WHO WEAR MAKEUP OR WEAR FEMALE CLOTHINGthe combination is taboo, esp for amabsbut its also kinda seen as unprofessional and its rare to see CEOs with beardsits sorta seen as a lower class/rural thing
>>43134665Men with makeup and beards might be seen as Indian. Would explain the issue in the west.
>>43134675well no the point is makeup is used to decorate women since women have no functional role in society other than making babies whereas men not wearing makeup is a sign of their conformity, submission, and devotion to work and it would be distracting for someone doing important work to have to fuss over painting their face everyday. There's layers to this. To be fair, I think makeup looks bad and I kinda wish it didn't exist. And god knows what metals are in it.
what type of man does /lgbt/ prefer?
>>43133331Lol same, can’t believe I was briefly a hot young twink
>>43134621N Y CYC
>>43128538ABCDGIJI like 'em masculine, but beyond that I'm more about character
>>43128538A, C, D, E, J, K, L are all hot. I mostly like twinks, twunks and femboys>>43130645its crazy how girls just dont do it for me anymore. i used to be a transbian! feels bizarre. and also it makes me cursed and doomed when it comes to dating, since beautiful women are everywhere, where as attractive skinny hairless men are incredibly rare in europe, or too young. i should move to east asia so i could finally find a boyfriend. no coincidence that the only one ive had was asian
>>43134658Seattle :((
Scream into the void with me, /lgbt/MTF/31/PNWI truly deserve death and forced detransition.Transition has been an attempt at escape from my karmic debt - to live as though the years from 17-27 never happened. It’s been toxic positivity and an attempt to hide. I haven’t ever even fully committed to it. One foot in the coping habits developed in my repping years and one foot in the mindset outside of those years. It’s why I can never let love in, why I bristle at compliments. I am a liar and a fraud playing demure and innocent while I neglect my community. I fetishize care, nurturing, and community because it feels like it offers atonement but then never do the work. Endless cycle. At the end of the day I’m just a lazy, entitled faggot who won the passing lottery and is a silent poison in my community. My life has been falling apart every day since starting HRT 4 years ago. More distant, more shallow, more obsessed with men and stupid pleasure. Yet so disgustingly masculine in my tastes, habits, and karma. Just shit. Detransition has been heavy on the mind. Not out of want for masculinity, but for necessity of honesty and a refusal of something that feels undeserved, the acceptance of a pain, a sacrifice.Maybe it’s time I donate all of my belongings, clothes, HRT and just go be a woodland firefighter and die for my home. It’s all I’m good for. My energy never disappears. I’ve worked a physical job the last year and went from a little femboy to a top-heavy monstrosity with no ass. My body has turned to that of a whole-ass man with the face of a 23 year old girl. I’m so fucking stupid and gross and a complete drag on society. I had a chance when I was 15 to DIY and I wussied out and repped for 12 years. Waste.I do sometimes fantasize about meeting an abusive man who locks me in a cage and forces me to stop eating and be a good maid so at least my stupid biological estrogen urges could finally be put to good use. Fuck this shit.
>>43132391go to therapy now
My child and I are both super happy as things currently are, with me as a single parent. I would like to date again but I feel hesitant. I've had some really horrible relationships in the past, which is part of why I decided to parent on my own. I'm a much different person now, but I still worry about sliding back into old patterns and it negatively affecting my kid.
>>43132778bitch out here having an existential crisis and bros trying to link up
>>43132909Do you think it’s really likely that you’re truly in the wrong here?
>>43132778Eug
Every person I've been with, trans or cis, has said that I'm very attractive and rate me pretty high, anywhere from 8-9.5/10. Where can I meet a pretty trans girl who's also around that rating? I'm not socially awkward or weird or anything of that nature, so its not like im fumbling. i just can't find a cute trans girl irl is basically impossible. but looking online on dating apps is also quite difficult since trans people in general dont seem to use those sorts of apps. I'm guessing most trans girls just stay indoors mostly or stick to hobbies / interests that dont have them interact with a lot of people? which places do i look in online and in person. I dont mind putting myself out there i just dont know what places to put myself in to let a cute trans girl know that i am available and interested in getting to know her better.
>>43133820It also simply has a lot to do with our own self-image. Pretty much all of us, unless exceptionally blessed, sees every slightest flaw that could possibly blow our cover. Only so much you can fight against nature without expensive plastic surgery (and we know where that can lead). Like, I don't have wide hips. I'd assume that alone bars me from ever being perceived as a perfect 10. If I had to rate myself, I'd gimme a 6, maybe a 7 at best, but that could also be the body dysphoria talking.
>>43133820Most of us cheat to pass with clothes. I can't wear everything. I gotta choose clothes that don't emphasize the traits I wanna hide. Like, I'm slender and don't have a masculine V shape, but I still have (imo) somewhat wider shoulders & am slightly taller than cis girls, so I try to find tops that are a bit more baggy. I gotta be slender & wanna lose a few more pounds still cus my fat distribution is rather male. There's a whole femboy routine to exercise & pronounce certain muscles to attain a more feminine body shape that I gotta catch up on. All of that can be hidden with clothes & makeup - the bedroom is where you can't hide anymore.
>>43134342By that definition, would that make some models clocky? I know that there are plenty of female models who are considered very attractive despite having more masculine features, for example, bushier eyebrows or a more defined jaw, yet they're still considered very feminine and attractive.Could you give me an example of what you believe androgynous is? Because I'm not sure I quite understand it.>>43134367Most people tend to overblow their own subtle insecurities, though, or are you saying that trans people do it to a much greater degree than others?As for the part about nature, I'm not sure I entirely agree with it. A great degree of one's physiology can be changed with skin care and exercise and diet. Makeup can also help quite a bit, as well as style like hairstyle and clothing. And all of that is before surgery and things that are well within a person's means. You mention hips, but there’s plenty of pretty girls who don’t have wide hips. I believe it comes down to overall harmony; how well balanced their body and frame looks
>>43134483>or are you saying that trans people do it to a much greater degree than others?Every tranny I know overly fixates on their subtle flaws. I mean. Worst case it can literally mean life or death.>A great degree of one's physiology can be changed with skin care and exercise and diet. Makeup can also help quite a bit, as well as style like hairstyle and clothing.Yeah, but that's not what I mean. :) Those are all well within reasonable limits. HRT already has a lot of effect on skin & fat distribution - but that also varries from person to person. The scariest part is the bedroom. One reason I gotta be skinny is cus my boobs won't grow much more, I'm stuck with barely A cups, even when I weighed 20kg more. And facial or body hair is the worst. Hard/super expensive to get rid of permanently. I literally pluck individual facial hair to avoid the shadow as much as possible. Shaving is not enough. And I'm still afraid people could notice.>You mention hips, but there’s plenty of pretty girls who don’t have wide hips. I believe it comes down to overall harmony; how well balanced their body and frame looksI agree, but beauty is subjective :) Idk if you require wide hips to qualify for a 10.
>>43134450Those are some pretty valid points. I will say that, at least when it comes to modern attractiveness, the face plays quite a large role. I've seen some women who have an insanely attractive body, but because their face isn't up to the modern beauty standard, they aren't considered as beautiful. Whereas other women who have a normal body but a very attractive face are considered the pinnacle of beauty. Unfortunately, that does make it more difficult for feminine boys or trans girls to achieve that standard because they have to fight an uphill battle because of their natural hormones and bone structure. I’d say if you get to the bedroom with someone ideally it means you like them a lot and vice versa. Rose tinted glasses can add a few points to looks, hahaha >>43134602I suppose the bigger picture is made up of the smaller details. but surely there's a point where your focus becomes too granular and the returns on such a fixated investment are minuscule, if anything at all, no?I won't comment on the boobs part because I'm sure you know a lot more about the hormone stuff than I do, but from what I've read, aren't there certain hormones you can take that are more biased towards breast development than other hormones? Or was I just reading some nonsense online? That facial hair part must be very brutal for some trans girls. I know East Asians barely grow facial hair as it is, but someone who's Middle Eastern or Hispanic, it must be very, very difficult for them to maintain that clean look without developing a 5 o'clock shadow.I mentioned it above, but wide hips are not a necessity for a high level of beauty. It's all about harmony. In my mind, a beautiful woman could be someone who's very slim and slender and toned, but a beautiful woman could also be someone who is a bit chubbier and curvaceous. It really just depends on the overall harmony
me and my friend have kinda trouble finding gfs cus we are shorter and less masculine than average guys so to cope we sometimes dress up as girls and kiss each other.is this gay?
>>43134438same lets buy those lockable kigurumi masks and cosplay our favourite anime girls and frot>t.6’1”
>>43134269no this is a natural and STRAIGHT way for you to cope with not getting pussy actually, especially if you'd much prefer a cis girl
>>43134269how did you get started doing this? who first mentioned the idea?
>>43134481fuck how did you know I'm curious about kigurumi but too scared to try... frotting is scary but also I want to
>>43134269my bsf and i do this but he’s taller than me
