Halloween II.5 Edition: Back from the dead (director's cut)previous: >>41307921 >>41475843 Goal of the thread: TREAT yourself to something nice, be it a meal, a hot bath, or something else you'd enjoy doing.Daily goals can be repeated. Remember to keep score, it can only go up!>What is this thread for?Getting better is hard, and sucks. A lot. It does not get easier doing it alone.Share resources and experiences with combating depression, anxiety, personal issues, achieving or maintaining a healthy weight, etc.>Why is this thread /lgbt/?Struggles with mental and physical health are an indisputable part of /lgbt/ life, be it from dysphoria, social pressure, heartbreak, or just unfortunate lifestyle choices.>Notes to consider:Please be civil. Shame is your greatest enemy in fighting urges of self abuse (be it sh, drugs, or just self deprecation). Relapsing into bad and unhealthy habits is to be expected, the goal is to increase the average amount of time it takes between relapses. Any improvement is a victory no matter how small. Your worth and right to get better are non-negotiable. And most importantly:WE ARE NOT THERAPISTS, WE DON'T REPLACE MEDICATION>Note on adviceComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
I really want permission to cryKeep calling suicide hotlines, telling them all the shit that happened to me then cryingI can't cry when I'm on my own, I need someone there to give me permission but then I've lost so many friends and got in so many fights and fucked up relationships and family connections from crying so it's just like there's this massive block there. I want to cry so badly right now I'm tyring to cry. I cried down the phone to my mom and she screamed at me again she used to slap me in the head whenever I'd cry as a kid and now I never see her in person she just yells at me and hangs up the phone. I feel like I could cry for 100 years I've got so much I wanna cry about. I used not to be able to cry for 14 years even when my friends would die or when fucked up shit would happen I'd never cry but then I started crying again but now I cry again it just stresses everyone out and it's just shit. I have so much crying I need to do. But what's even the point. It feels pointless. Is there an end point to all of this. I keep waking up feeling so dissociated and depressed and I can't snap out of it and I try so hard to do all the right things that snap you out of it but I only manage like a couple of days out of the week to even get there before I have to sleep again. Even when I'm around people I just have this fucked up dissociative haze up and I want to be present around them but I just have this barrier up and I can't bring it down and it's just there. I have really good methods of stopping myself self harming or feeding into ideation. So I don't feel in danger at the moment from myself. But I'm deeply sad and I feel like the few connections I have could just collapse in any moment. And I can still feel joy. Which is wonderful. But yeah I just want to cry. But I don't feel safe enough to cry right now. And if I do the things that make me feel safe I'm gonna just like. Iron out those emotions. I don't understand how this shit works.
>>41505804Have you ever gone to therapy?I was like this before. I felt fucking miserable all the time, wanted to cry, but couldn't. I wanted to scream harder than my body was capable of screaming.I started going to therapy and I told my therapist, I just need to fucking cry. I need to let this shit out and feel okay somehow.I've been going to therapy for about 16 months, and I've gone through phases of not being able to cry when I wanted to cry, then crying all the time even when it wasn't appropriate, and then... No longer feeling a need to cry. I can still cry, but I just stopped needing to cry.My therapist told me during today's session that she thinks I've improved enough that don't need to come in as often anymore, so my visits will be further apart than they used to be. I've come a long way since my first appointment.I didn't think therapy would work but it helped me fix problems I didn't even realize I had.I'm proud of you from holding back from hurting yourself. Work hard to be compassionate to yourself. You're a human being who has experienced incredible suffering and you deserve compassion; every human deserves compassion. If nobody will be compassionate to you, then you can learn how to be compassionate to yourself. You can always be your own refuge.
>>41505988Thanks for taking the time to read and respond anon. I'm sorry you've been through a lot too and I'm glad you're doing a lot better. I have been doing therapy for about 9 months but I stopped for a few months cause of money and I thought I was doing ok. I had a session last week and cried so fucking hard and now my therapist is on holiday for a month. So I'm just like open up again to more pain and I thought I got it all out and worked through all of it. But apparently not. A couple of weeks back I was going through some shit and trying some self love stuff that was helping a bit and I've not been doing that practice as much so I'm gonna try really hard and do that tonight and tomorrow. I realise that I am the best refuge for myself. I need to make more money so I can get more therapy and cry more at my therapist basically. But I need to journal more and cry more at myself. It feels difficult to be with myself in my flat and journal and stuff cause so much bad stuff happened here. I did so much bad stuff here. There's too many memories in this room. I went to a coffee shop the other day. Full manmode to journal for a bit and had some dude come in and say transphobic shit to me and try and start a fight. I didn't rise to it. That shit hurts still though. I've been kinda off and dissociated ever since. Landlords put my rent up. Mom helping me negotiate with them. Means I have to deal with mom. I'm too messed up emotionally about mom to deal with mom. I'm trying so hard to be on top of the more fucked up symptoms of my psychological issues. I'm doing DBT and stuff. I feel like I am so far from being ok again. My work is difficult. The people there are uncomfortable around me cause I'm emotionally difficult but also very good at my job. My skills are slipping because I'm emotionally disregulated and not putting the work in. I'm tired. I will be ok. I just need to keep going. Even if I lose everyone in my life because I'm too much work. I'll still have me
>>41501177Breathe, Navy. It's all right. It will be all right. You are on HRT. You have normal E levels (right?). You will be fine.I also wish I'd have started before 16 to preserve my voice, but I couldn't. Starting in HS wasn't an option when I started.Also, according to the pics on disc, you do look beautiful. Have you malefailed or have a plan to girlmode/socially transition?>>41505241That's called honfidence and that's very useful.>>41492409So they are hard in mourning.Navy, until you start to girlmode and pass they won't see anything but a man - so they're burying their heads.And why do you think asking them to she/her you or use your real name in stead of your deadname would work? My mom, who's supportive occassionally slips, my sis does that persistently and maliciously, and rubs it in by a fake apology "yeah Anon, but you'll always be {deadname} for me, it's so very hard to get used to that, you know" (transitioned 11 yrs ago).Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
In other news, finally I could share results.> Dropped 8 kg (since late June) and stable to below my last measurement I've taken in unsafe places> My new lab results just dropped. Perfect levels across the board aaaand:> Against the last pill result on 6 mg oral E at 159 nmol/l (dog shit)> I have 1,042.8 nmol/l (~250 pgml) of E in me directly before injection (falling edge)EEn worx!
>look like man when wearing men's clothes>look like woman when wearing women's clothesI think I'd rather just be a hon than this type of gender freak
Women look like men when they wear men's clothes, retard.
Something smells like bisexual sex radar failureakatrannies and chasers
Like congrats you absolutely fucking idiot you've realized it's all performative and have the looks to pull off any performance. What do you want, a fucking medal? Fuck you you David bowie ass bitch>captcha:hrtks
please Having my babys young womans
>>41506999what does it mean if i look like a woman when wearing men clothes and like a man when wearing women clothes
im a furry tranny, my bfs not. however i seem to have corrupted him and now nearly every time he pokes or prods at my bulge (always noticeable bc im a shower) or pulls out my girldick he says “uvu what’s this?”i dont know why im sharing this but i really needed to get it off my chest. its cute but it also baffles me bc has never ever been a furry or even close to the community
/lesgen/ is the lesbian general for all cis women and trans women (MtF) to discuss lesbian relationships and topics.Be kind to each other and report/ignore trolls who attempt to divide trans mtf lesbians and cis lesbians as a community. This includes transphobic bigotry, femmephobia, butchphobia, racism, and anti-c4t/t4t slop. This is nice thread. :)QOTT:>Best place to trespass into? What shenanigans have you gotten up to there?>Are you a fan of street art or graffiti?>Do you enjoy kissing your gf in public and watching people’s reactions when they realize you’re more than friends?tagmap: https://tagmap.io/tag/%2Flesgen%2Fdiscord: https://discord.gg/bAnVMAGPNRold thread: >>41462502
QOTT:>Best place to trespass into? What shenanigans have you gotten up to there?When I was a kid my and my friend trespassed into a city water plant and climbed the water tower. We were like 12. We didn't do anything except sit there.>Are you a fan of street art or graffiti?Yeah especially if its something that just says "be kind" or "don't commit suicide" or w/e>Do you enjoy kissing your gf in public and watching people’s reactions when they realize you’re more than friends?No I dislike doing PDA of any kind. I didn't like the stares or reactions just having her hanging on my arm or holding my hand. I don't even have social anxiety I'm just a private person. One time this tall ass black dude was like "daaaaamn okay" at us when she was hanging on my arm and it was embarrassing. Kissing in public is just out of the question for me but I'll meet you half way and let you hold my hand or something
gonna spend the weekend at her place :)
wish I was sucking on her lips
>>41505247latinas get their white boyfriend while getting woke points for dating a tranny
I dated a T4C trans woman and she said I was her first trans partner. She would say transphobic shit and when I got uncomfortable she would say she isn't talking about me and said I'm cis in her mind.
Misandry is not real.
>>41505240Eh you could say the same thing about dad bods. She is within a normal range for older women. Maybe she isnt fit or healthy as an athlete but this is what peak child-bearing performance looks like
>>41501945if misandry ain't real i'm going to will it into existence. unlimited genocide on ftms and cismen.
>>41501945Tell me who I have to kill to get that figure, and I will
misandry is real
>>41501985My pp says otherwise
>cis guy>no gender dysphoria>feeling incredibly melancholic when i realise im not a girl>feel happy when i disguise myself as a girl and get seen as one
If you feel "incredibly melancholic" that you're not a girl and want to change that medically then you have dysphoria and are trans.If you're fine with just ignoring it your whole life and leaving this board then you're not.The key is to pick one course of actionand commit to it.If tou
>>41506761desu normal cis male t. cis with same feelings
You can't disguise yourself and nobody see you as one. Just don't
>>41506915what?
Prev: >>41356549QOTT: Do you have a nice, organized living space or do you live in filth? something in between?
suicidal again
gen, are you "he/him boyfriend"maxxing? if not what is your excuse?
>>41499976nah you can still become a mommyand live happily ever after
>>41506898What does that mean
what does /femrepgen/ think of mtf troons? I've seen reppers who terfcope but also reppers who cope by saying mtfs are women but pooners are also women.
Post your transition timelines, girlies.
>>41504607curse your naturally narrow shoulder
>>41504607BUILT for rough sex
https://voca.ro/16yyyVD2wqD8
>>41504607Hot twinkhon how old are you?
>>415046076 month looked tough
>be me>24>gay but only for indians and transgender bangladeshis>mom comes on me gooning and notices its an indian transfem>takes away everything from me and calls me a 'jeet lovershould i just kms or actually move to india with my indian bf (edating)
what if there was a group of raving boymoders above your apartment raving 24/7?
>>41506534We're gonna RASSLE these boolies >:3 heheI'm gonna put 'em in the blahaji boyhold!! D:<Ok I gotta sleep, talk to you later!
>>41504977
>>41506634don't take advantage of her! ;~;Give her a good deal!! ;~;
>>41506631hehe =:3gnight
>>41506668>hagglemoder
qott: which binders work best for large chests qott2: does duct tape work as a binder replacement?qott3: for those who have worn binders for a long time, have u noticed ur chest sags more?prev: >>41452741
>>41506540None of them identifying with subculture is retarded
poona hair
All emo ftms deserve to be emasculated for daring to encroach upon natures perfection. It is not only my duty, but my responsibility, to see that these defilers who have perverted the good ftm name will never truly be seen as men and that they will always have a lingering feeling of discomfort with themselves, knowing every inch of their sickly, twig-like bodies are good for nothing excepting slitting and whoring out their tuna flavored poon holes.
this gen really falls apart when i'm not here
>>41506788Now, now Come here, sweet poonNo need for fussTime to get a little bit, dare I say it's lit,so often I am smit, by these female bodiesseems I must correct this hairand getnaughties
>been dating bf for 2 years, he moved in with me like 5 months ago>things have been going fine, we've gotten accustomed to each others habits>out of nowhere he brings up that he’s into erotic asphyxiation while I was watching TV>he wants to pretend hang himself and have me “spot” for him>I look at him not sure if he's serious and he was>get freaked the fucked out>"not only am I not participating in that, you’re not fucking doing that here”>"man it's not a big deal, it'll be safe cause I have you. People do it all the time.">“don’t fucking play with me, if I see you doing that shit I’m calling the cops and you’re not living here anymore”>he says okay and gets all quietThis happened a few days ago. What do you guys think is the most appropriate thing to do here, I was thinking of texting his mom and telling her about it but I'm not sure if that would be overreacting. Would you call that overreacting? Should I wait and see if he brings it up again?
>>41506931>he wants to pretend hang himself and have me “spot” for himblehchchebr idk that can be okay right. maybe not. i get why ur scared
If I fap at least every other day I rarely have gay thoughts. If I go more than 3 days without fapping I start craving bussy immensely.
Heterosexual white twinks are looked down in their own countries but popular in East Asia. Now you have Russian dude like the one below tries, quite successfully, to capture the Asian market. Why do Western/European women treat feminine looking men with contempt?
>>41498984Not even one?
>>41492886>>41492978i think he looks extremely feminine and is probably annoying. i don't find him attractive at all.
>>41505251Asian women for some reason love this type
>>41492886Men are created stronger. They are called upon to hunt, fight and toil. In most of the world men look down on other men who can't pull their own weight because they become a burden. But in east asian countries it was considered a display of influence for a man to not be masculine because that meant he had others toiling for him.>Why do Western/European women treat feminine looking men with contempt?Did I phaseshift to bizarro earth again?
>>41505697> Did I phaseshift to bizarro earth again?Since when have white women been privileging twinks
Before I start I want to preface that this is a genuine post and I'm struggling to find guidanceI repped for many years because of thisI feel strongly about being good to others. I think it is important to make others happy at all costs. It is how I was raised, to think of others and disregard myself. I know this doesn't really match with how others see things, but in my point of view, it's a moral imperative to limit harm and bring joy, and morally bankrupt and self-centered to consider one's self and own feelings as a priority. As a result, since a majority of the population hates transgender people, (and when I was very young I thought the same of gay people but I think most people now live and let live with them) thus it is a moral obligation for my self as a transgender person to commit suicide, after repping until my parents die for their sake. I struggled back and forth for years with this. Among other things, it helped keep me in the closet for a very long time. But it always sticks in the back of my mind as an "ultimate truth" and that what I am doing trying to live my life is completely immoral, arguably cruel. It's starting to become a recurring, major thought sequence again after a few years of transitioning and managing to find some little happiness, and now I want to rep and look into exit bags despite things going relatively well, abusive relationship aside. Is there a way to end this guilt, or go through with the obligation? I need freedom from this torture one way or another.
Go outside
genuine question, what are the differences between you and other people that makes their happiness an obligation but yours not?
>>41506808The flaw in your plan to endlessly suffer to ease the burden on others is that everybody can tell you're suffering and it's making them uncomfortable. You can't live your life like that, and if everyone strove to then the world would be a deeply sad and empty place. Just transition.
