Here’s what I found:It’s too late for me. I turned 36 this year and finally ended up with a prescription I should have chased down long ago, but here we are. Was on 25mg spiro and 2mg estradiol daily. Started on Xmas eve, no reason in particular, just thought it’d be easy to remember. Drop four hits of acid today and come to a realization that I am doing so well for myself as a cis guy that this seems like a road I don’t need to go down. I feel like I have a lot of other things in life I should take care of first. I am not even close to where I should be financially. And I get enough unsolicited attention from women that I feel like I’m attractive. So no “male loneliness cope” here either. Idk, I just kinda realized this isn’t as cute or hot as I imagined it to be. I think about sex a lot less and my chest feels tingly. The same videos jerked off too weeks ago don’t even hit right anymore, so I don’t even get the distraction of “everything goes away once I cum” I feel unfulfilled, and I get why women seem like they are never satisfied. I dabbled for a week but I think it’s not for me. The physical aspects I want are too unobtainable at this point without surgeries. And they don’t even turn me on after it becomes who I am, so what’s the point?
As the night goes on, I realize that four hits should not be this easy to get thru. I think I may have gotten my tolerance too high over the past few years. I think there’s a problem there I should address.
>>42180692My experience differs somewhat; I always envied girls physically at a young age (not being allowed to have long hair, painted nails, pierced ears like they could, etc), considered DIY at 15 but didn't for various reasons (excuses) until a maturing hairline broke me at 22. There is this very common cultural idea now that extreme porn of various kinds will cause somebody to become transgender. Normal guy somehow stumbles upon sissy porn, or enters a rabbit hole into more extreme porn, and boom, now he wants to inject hormones. But, in my experience, it's a cart and horse situation; leaning into extreme fetishism is a coping mechanism for dysphoria, because in the long term dysphoria cooks your brain. 50-60 year old men who rep end up being gross crossdressing sissies because this shit literally cooks their brain. For about 4 years, I was outwardly just an average guy, but online spent close to $9,000 over the course of those years commissioning a couple hundred pieces of art of my fursona. Not the gross fetish art you see all over, but genuinely beautiful portraits of her as a vestal virgin, bathing in a lake, reading, just, existing. She was just this character on my screen but she was the idealized version of me, this normal happy beautiful woman I could never ever be. I had no interest in sex, and 9/10 times masturbated to art of her. But, ultimately, all of this was a maladaptive psychological something or other for me being a tranny closet case. HRT made me lose interest in commissioning more art, and weirdly, has made me find men attractive. Not just what they can do to me, but aspects of their bodies, hairy chests & legs & strong jaws & big rough hands & the way a dick is so inviting to play with....which are things I'd never in a million years considered pre-HRT. It feels so right and satisfying, to have the possibility of a more functional normal sexuality.>>42181437 says it well; a reconstruction of the sex drive and sex life 1/2
>>42183549>>42182417so, you have two choices; spend the next 40 or so odd years gooning to sissy porn, crossdressing, or engaging in whatever niche sexual thing you use to cope with this situation. or; start HRT now while repping, save for a few years to surgerymaxx, and roll the dice at the possibility of spending your late 30s / 40s onwards with a new body, new sexuality, new mind, new lease on life. I don't know your situation, maybe it really is physically hopeless, but you'd be amazed what a half decade of hormones, surgeries, and the other hon science here could do for you. Having an acid trip is nice, but those feelings of "wow this really changed my life" tend to wear off in a matter of months, or over several years. I don't have a crystal ball sitting next to me but I'd wager in five years you would be sitting here in nearly the exact same spot, only going "if only I had done such and such at 35....". So, think about it. One thing you can never say past this point is that you weren't told. Good luck anon <3 2/2
>>42180692>just kinda realized this isn’t as cute or hot as I imagined it to be
>>42183571Thank you for that. I just wanted to let you know I saw it and it gives me something to think about. I think you’re right about how this might come back in even just a few months.
I can feed myself sometimes, but my cats eat better than I do most of the time. I just lay in bed all day and browse 4chan or watch YouTube. Occasionally I'll play a videogame or switch to Law & Order SVU. I take 40 mg Prozac and 450 mg Lithium carbonate daily for depression since my suicide attempt last year. I work maybe 12-16 hours a week at my job on average, because it's deadline based and impending deadlines are the only thing that motivates me to do work. Most of the time I'm just bedrotting and billing 40 hours. I'm considered a high performer somehow.I'm basically friendless in that I have no one I talk to regularly, including family. I have no motivation to make friends or leave my apartment except to buy groceries and pick up my prescriptions. I've been in plenty of relationships though the guy I was dating broke up with me a couple months ago.I hope it doesn't sound like I'm humblebragging since I know this is living the dream unironically for some of you. I just want to hear from anons who aren't suffering because of their material conditions. Because I feel like a pathetic nepo baby who needed a parent to beat the shit out of me a few times to knock some sense into me, and since that never happened, I can't function sustainably as an adult. Is this all there is? An endless series of tasks that I have to force myself to accomplish? I'm almost 28 and I still feel like I'm fighting the same internal battle over whether or not to build an exit bag I've been fighting since 18. Being around people makes me feel worse so I avoided it like the plague, and now people avoid me, because I'm obviously a neurotic anxious mess.Weed helps but only temporarily. I know I'm wallowing in self pity. I just hope someone will read this and say the right words to snap me out of it.>t. a mostly luckshit passoid, FFS and voice trained, a bit twinkhon-y but dysphoria is manageable, well paying career where I can WFH full time. I'm 27, four years HRT.
>>42183210are you op? i'm not smart i just know what's wrong with you>the secret words to say to me so I can start getting betterthe fact that you describe yourself with terms like histrionic and neurotic tells me you've probably read enough about psychopathology in your attempts to diagnose that fundamental defect you've always known you had that you will have seen all these secret words before, you just either didn't realize they applied to you or preferred not to
>>42183284>you will have seen all these secret words beforeFuck it's as I feared
>>42183372the worst part is i bet whatever it is you're talking about is not it at all, like bpd or narcissism or something like that. am i way off?
>>42183437No your first reply was spot on describing my condition. My psychiatrists have never formally diagnosed me with a personality disorder.I badly want to believe that my life can be turned around if I just "knew" how, while automatically rejecting any solutions that require effort on my part. So my asking for "secret words" is just my cheeky way of asking for hope, or some equivalent of being slapped in the face and told to snap out of it.
>>42183550i'd like to believe that too anon. i'm still looking for that hope myself
theres a exploit in the game baldurs gate 3 that the community has called "poly-domming"this felt appropriate for transgender polyamorous domsif you want info about the glitch, if you use polymorph (makes enemy into an animal) and then dominate beast (gives you control of an animal) on the same person, theres a way to make them permanently under your control, instead of normal dominate beast/person where it lasts only a few turns with a chance to end each turn
>>42182380idk what youre blabbering about but what the fuck is thbat reaction image. how did the creator not make it be "hawk trua". millions must die
>>42182380which animal do you want to be before i dominate you nona
New Year's Editionprevious: >>42044782 >>42079478 (died prematurely)Goal of the thread: Consider the things you want to improve or accomplish, whether long- or short-term. What small steps can you make towards those goals?Daily goals can be repeated. Remember to keep score, it can only go up!>What is this thread for?Getting better is hard, and sucks. A lot. It does not get easier doing it alone.Share resources and experiences with combating depression, anxiety, personal issues, achieving or maintaining a healthy weight, etc.>Why is this thread /lgbt/?Struggles with mental and physical health are an indisputable part of /lgbt/ life, be it from dysphoria, social pressure, heartbreak, or just unfortunate lifestyle choices.>Notes to consider:Please be civil. Shame is your greatest enemy in fighting urges of self abuse (be it sh, drugs, or just self deprecation). Relapsing into bad and unhealthy habits is to be expected, the goal is to increase the average amount of time it takes between relapses. Any improvement is a victory no matter how small. Your worth and right to get better are non-negotiable. And most importantly:WE ARE NOT THERAPISTS, WE DON'T REPLACE MEDICATION>Note on adviceComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>42180005>Have you considered it may just be dysphoria-related disassociation,Because i'm disassociated a LOT of the time its hard to say. I think even if its correlated i still failed to develop a real well-rounded personality. I decided to give hrt a chance anyway but i'm not discarding the possibility that dysorphia is not end all be all of my problems yunno?.Like who says youncant have 2 mental disorderd at once. I'm starting therapy and it'll be super uncomfortable but yeah i intend to just speak my mind there a 100% and not mention trannythoughts and we'll see how that goes.
>>42154334>A very merry (belated) Christmas to you, too! I hope the holidays had their highlights for you, on top of being exhaustingThank you for the kind message!The holidays were okay, family drama was still a factor but I'm learning to move past it.Gotta focus on career and financial security above all else.>Yes, definitely report back with whatever insights you garner!I will be sure to do so, I will double my efforts to complete my current studying course and my research into the advice that was given here already.
I feel fucking amazing you guys.
>>42183247Great, tell us more.
>>42163835>Alright! Sounds like you're having a laid back time ahead, that's great to hear. You know, you are always so cheerful, it's clear you are really trying hard to make people feel comfy and welcome. I appreciate that. But I hope you also feel like you can share your troubles and difficult emotions with us, regardless!dw dw i do open up about stuff from time to time. for the most part i don't feel like stuff i have going on is worth sharing or venting about tbhdesu :D
i quite literally cannot possibly imagine a good future for myself because im so fucking tall i hate this shit so fucking much and it enrages me, it sends me into an absolute honrage when i see short trans girls say height isnt a big deal. ill never be seen as anything but a threat
>>42180939>you're wrecking the LGB for us normalThe B was wrecking it for anyone for ages but you probably won't pay attention because you think trannies just popped into existence by themselves
>>42180582Just say yer fugly lololol
>>42180582hi sophhow was your christmas?
>>42180582short trannies seem to be unable to understand that if you're a true heighthon you will never actually pass as a womanheight is basically the most visible feature and also the one which you can't changeyou can get FFS to fix your masculine face or other surgeries for other body parts, but you can't do anything about heightalso, tall trans women will generally be more masculine due to either greater human growth hormone levels (which, apart from making you taller, give you a larger jaw, nose, brow ridge) or low estrogen levels (women tend to me not as tall because estrogen ossifies the growth plates and higher counts do it faster)tall trans women are generally going to be more masculine but no short tranny wants to admit thist. 6'2 bitterhon
>>42180582damn, sophie is still at it?
It's actually kinda funny how fast the guys calling me a man all day lose their minds when I call them a girl.
"You sound like an emotional woman" is one of my favorite insults. It works them into a seethe every time
>>42172894
>>42180361god i wish that were me (either)
>>42180361
>>42173889>left the average male experience>right the average female experienceAnd people wonder why men are trooning in droves
why do bottoms into sports do sports? is it because it makes them popular with the tops?
Would transitioning have saved him?
>>42183485She’s so hot
But /lgbt/ told me that feet was an exclusively male fetish?
>>42182795yup and not looking back anytime soon
>>42180969How many of those women are >women? Conversely, how many of those men are >men?
>>42182848to what feet?
>>42180969>10% Tracks. Though most of my partners have had a foot thing whereas I didn't until I realized I like having my feet worshipped
>>42183464Bara or twink feet, depending on my mood
A while ago I made a thread about pooners having wild ass kinks (myself included). But what about our beautiful ladies? What fucked up (or no so fucked up) stuff gets you going?And since it's in my interests, would you get with a pooner and how?
>>42183474>are u sure your kinks don’t cut it anymore? maybe they’re just too tame.eh idk i was never into anything extreme. i think it's less so because they're tame, and more so that they stopped doing it for me because being close with a guy made me enjoy the wholesome things so much more. wholesome loving sex became my new fixation because i spent most of my life being exclusively into kinky stuff and bdsm before that point, so it was all so new to me. but not being over him means the one thing that still gets me going is currently inaccessiblealso hell yeah fellow yee haw anoni run into a lot of texans on this board funnily enough
>>42183525ah so you actually spent time with him irl, i thought it was all online. thats interesting. if pure passionate intimate sex is what you like, i think you’d really love to spend time with me. ive been told i have quite a way with my hands and mouth, especially with someone i like
>>42183569ah idk anon. i'm still healing from my heart break and i don't feel ready to open up again for a while. i appreciate your offer though ...and also thanks for listening to my emotional blabbering
>>42182556why?>>42182473maybe, but what does saying it's sad do? it's my life. i live a pretty functional one despite everything, but i've never had a mentor or a real community, so the idea of someone taking interest in me for altruistic reasons is highly suspect. i'm not the kind of person people care about
>>42174275I'm generally somewhat tame in the kink department... but i really wish the slimes from fantasy media were real. I want them to capture me and fill all my holes so i can barely breathe. Waiting for VR to become better i guess...
How it feels to be a top transbian with a small dick
i wish i knew how to feel anything
I wish I were sex againand cuddleand love
>>42182125Um as a top transbian with a small dick who's never used it, are bottoms weird about it?
Feels good being a chaser. I dont have to come out as anything because trans women are women :)
>>42181078Hecking valid and based.
>>42181078how tall are you and do you work out
>>42181078Nigga you gay.
>>42183232im fat and 260 lbs
is it easily visible if a guy struggles with his gender?like im cis boy but i sometimes have some non cis thoughts. like nothing serious but like sometimes it makes me feel a bit sad. but i think i have been quit subtle about that irl.however my friend said recently that i would make a pretty girl.like it had barely anything to do with the conversation we were having!!!it basically shut me up completely and i wasnt able to say much to him after that.it was awkward. but the thing that troubles me right now is that could he know something.... like i havent told anything to anyone irl about what i feel about this.
>>42181199I think im in a pretty similar situation as you. Ever since i started questioning my gender i have thought back at my life, trying to see if there were "signs". I complaining about people complimenting my voice (rather deep), i remember wanting to wear feminine clothing. Despite this and more, i dont feel like people see this in me. Maybe i am otherwise too repressed. It dissapoints me
>>42181741Even if you were masc growing up, there might be someone. Both of my partners in high school said it made sense for me to be trans. One of them even clocked me when we dated. But I was otherwise just an autistic, masculine boy who was frustrated with gender roles.
>>42181492yeah you need to do something about thisdo you think it's going to be better in 10 years when you're that much older? you'll just be sadder.but fortunately you can change the future and become a girl by then
>>42181199In my experience it depends who's doing the observing. Most cis folks seem to be pretty dumb when it comes to gender, they just accepted the 3rd grade sex ed lesson of penis = boy, vagina = girl at face value without ever needing to give it any more thought. But there are exceptions, and some are more perceptive than others.>but like sometimes it makes me feel a bit sad.That's gender dysphoria for you. It's right in the name, feeling bad about your gender.>it basically shut me up completely and i wasnt able to say much to him after that.Sounds like it affected you a lot. Why is that?>>42181224First post, best post.Really, OP, you should find a healthier place than here to talk this out. It's important to know who you are.
>>42181199You don't want to grow up as a guy.
id say im pretty cute but i dont go outside too much, how can i meet other cute guys to have sex with? grindr sucks
>>42183143Buy an ad
>>42183143give up and kill yourself
>>42183143What country? I'm in the same shoes
thank god i dont live in THAT timeline jesus christ
>>42183276That looks very much like Nikacado with F1nn's eyes.Hmm.Perhaps >>42183282 is right and we were spared something by the cosmos for once.
