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>>37691670
I just lost my dawg
Nigga my brother taught me how to chase the bag
Get right in the field I had to make a bag

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I can’t decide whether to keep shaving or grow a beard again

>>37692196
desu the beard makes me less dysphoric bc it hides the face and makes the midface seem smaller

>>37691670
i want be ebony like thick and have a huge ass

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>>37691670
How do you keep going in life? I wake up be awake for 2 hours then start drinking. Life is hell and alcohol makes it barely tolerable.

sex with larry

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>>37693611
I can't even drink anymore because I ruined my liver. 1 beer is enough to make my vomit now. Mostly I just dissociate and distract myself with escapist media.

>>37693611
I dont, but atleast I dont drink at all, dont ruin your liver anon

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>>37693814
Ive done all that for years all I can do to escape is drink now. I drank a lot when I was 20(many bottles of 151 proof rum honestly not sure how I didnt drink my self to deth) then stopped for a few years now I'm back on it cause its the only damn thing that helps. Am I cooked? Like I dont see a way out at all.
>>37693821
Why not?

>>37693854
I dont know how much it "helps" you but please dont ruin your life further

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>>37693890
Why there is nothing for me in this life. Not a girl so have no reason to do anything productive. All of this is just to waste time until I'm gone. I got no joy from living as a guy so I just drink and dissociate all I can. Live for nothing I have nothing and want nothing to do with being a guy so I will not want for anything.

>>37693963
literally me

>>37693963
i feel that, fair
i feel like im useless as long as im a guy and ill never be a girl so yeah,,

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>>37693963
But there is like a 1% chance that someday we'll be able to upload our consciousness to the AI quantum computing cloud and it will allow us to experience a thousand lifetimes as a girl.

>>37692439
wtf? i mean i totally don't get that

>>37694044
and theres a 99% chance i kms before that happens

>>37694072
Same but 1% isn't completely hopeless. It's something to hold on to.

>>37691670
does anyone know at least one (1) case of someone stopping having dysphoria
i really just want to have a normal life and uhm well you know haha
i am a christian so i think i really cnat transition and even if i wasnt christian i wouldnt but i cant really find anything worthwhile to do in life and i feel pretty useless and demoralized and im not even attracted to women to maybe cope with larping as a father and im not really even sure how to motivate to keep myself from rotting away
is there any hope? i know a christian anon here gave in and transitioned some time ago
im not even really sure what im saying
is taking test blockers a sin? i dont really have any use for my genitals
what do i even do with myself
any help appreciated

>>37694344
I try, but I wont last long

>>37694347
religion cope sometimes work but it's so past due when you browse tttt or lgbt spaces, it wont stop, ever.

What about being gay, but really fruity, instead of being "trans"?

>>37694373
its the only place people can understand :(
ive been praying hoping it goes away but it hasnt and its been a long time and i just want to die and go to heaven but it feels like im cursed by the worst most retarded thing and i dont have any way to stop
it feels like every solution is just digging myself deeper into this and i can only really think of castrating myself to at least not have "anything" anymore but that is just like halfway into transitioning and i dont really think if i did one i could sotp myself from taking hormones or whatever the fuck so im jusr i dont know
i guess if i keep on going its hopefully gonna go away or at least im gonna die quick and go to heaven but it really should be quiecker
but i guess tttt is not the best place ot have christian conversations but this problem is so clown world that i think there isnt any normal christian that could help so maybe theres someone here that knows anything but whatever

>>37694442
it's not that tttt isnt the place for christian conversations, it's just that youre going to get a single advice - transition
+ sorry I didnt mean it in a rude way

>>37694442
Nta but I've been told stuff like "god loves you more so he has placed this challenge in front of you." But like how does that make sense? I mean I think I'm a pretty logical person but how would a god that loves you punish you with this hell? Like dont get me wrong I get hardships and all but this is just not that its a life long curse. Its honestly made me believe less in less in a god, I'm pretty much agnostic at this point. Also same I think if I did anything I would go the full way cause like why not I've already went some of the way.

i tried religion coping as a young child, went to religious indoctrination centers (jk jk) where they combined play with telling stories from the bible and teaching stuff
god never did answer any prayers, and as a good being couldn't create this horrible world making me and others feel so shit i concluded god doesn't exist

>>37694467
its fine.... i already know that i just want to vent somewhere its not completely out of place
if im being honest i think i would transition if it made me a "real" woman (yeah yeah i know trans are real women) but i mean if i could just be normal i think i could just be anormal person if i was a woman, i could be looking to start a family already but instead im just a failure with no real goals in life and while i want to go to heaven (and i have faith it exists) its just that i really really wish it was faster but ughhh
>>37694477
>this is just not that its a life long curse
i kind of agree.... it really feels i didnt quite choose this, i already had gay tendencies before puberty and i started having dysphoria before i watched porn so its not porn addiction like people in like /pol/ would say.... though i was addicted to masturbation i already stopped that and dypshoria gets worse off it (though i am not going back to it because its a sin)
i consider this like maybe being born without legs or something but its still so frustrating that i genuinely dont want this anymore and i understand its bad and a disease but its just taking so long to leave it behind if i can
>>37694505
i actually dont really struggle with "the problem of evil", and i do think that god has answered some prayers for me so far, but from everything i really really wish i didnt have this disease on me, and its not like its a selfish purpose, i just want to sin less and have less roadblocks and its just a bit frustrating.
i know you see saints being martyred and all but i just feel so fucking embarrasing but at the same time this feels so devastating and i feel so deeply mentally ill and it feels that theres no one that quite understands how it is to both want to be a good christian and at the same time have had prayed to be turned into a woman in tears
its fine i think this is gonna be resolved but in the meantime i feel like pure shit
sorry for the rant

>>37694572
dont be sorry im here to hear you, I would transition too if it wasnt so painful and a gamble or if i had a supportive environment
with that said if the only thing stopping you is religion im not sure,, i dont understand much

>>37694584
well if i knew that transitioning was a "thing" when i was like 10-11 i think i wouldve done it, but even if i wasnt a christian right now i think id still try to repress, but... im not sure really, i was going to say that maybe i wouldnt feel as bad over being gay but the only real reason i didnt look into being in that sort of relationship earlier is because i feel like my body is repulsive and that im not even really worthy of being loved or having sex

i really turned to religion for an actual conviction, but these tendencies i have always had feel too ingrained in me and they feel just really bad to have and i have no idea how to get away from them, and i just really want to be normal but i get reminded of how much not-normal i am when i look into a mirror and hate it, or feel bad about my body and hate it, or like get aroused and not even being able to feel attracted to women even though i would prefer to like them... if that makes sense... and it just kind of fucks with my head to think that if i was a woman all of these desires i have would just be normal and i could have a normal life, but thaat just makes me spiral again and i dont know how to stop :(

there are days i dont feel super bad but i am constantly worried ill start feeling bad again so its pretty exhausting, but... well i just have to take it one day at a time and if i do it well one day i'll die and get to heaven, but in the meanwhile im like this i guess

>>37694692
sounds bad :(
I think they if you continue like that you dont have a lot of future or things to look for
if I knew my thoughts in 12 were not normal I too could have been a youngshit

>>37694718
>you dont have a lot of future or things to look for
i dont really, but at least trying to be a good christian is something to keep in mind day to day...
>if I knew my thoughts in 12 were not normal I too could have been a youngshit
i mean i KNEW it wasn't normal, i was looking up on youtube "turn into girl hypnosis" and everytime i went to sleep i expected to wake up as a girl. i mean that i just didnt know that transitioning was a thing you could ask for so i didnt. which i am sort of glad i didnt because well you cant be both a tranny and a christian but its.... i have so many conflicting feelings its hard to keep it straight lol
but i dont really think that i could transition and feel fine even if it was ok in christianity because in the end its more than just looking like a girl, which i wouldnt mind, but i really would want a family but i just cant being a man. i dont feel that i could fulfill that role and i cant feel attracted to women. i dont know

>>37694774
im not pure hsts like you but i still really relate
really you should think about if you want to be a "good christian" more or if you want to actually live, just know it wont save or change you

>>37694826
ur just repressing ur pure androphilia cuz of a conservative society

i am completely unable to fit into society

>>37694839
im agp :( another reason to rep. shameful

>>37694912
agps are repressing hsts

>>37694903
change society
force your way in

>>37694839
>>37694826
>im not pure hsts like you but i still really relate
asldkjkjasdjklfjlk i hate this i hate this i hate you're right oh god i never considered i am literally an hsts holy fucking shit
>really you should think about if you want to be a "good christian" more
i genuinely do, im not religious because i wanted to stop feeling like this, but i want to stop feeling like this because im religious if that makes sense
>or if you want to actually live, just know it wont save or change you
on that point... well since i started praying daily earlier this year life actually has started moving a bit weirdly enough. i dont know if itll make me feel better but its weird. i still ask to not hate myself when i look in the mirror but, you know...
>ur just repressing ur pure androphilia cuz of a conservative society
>pure androphilia
why are you so good at naming what i am in a way i hate so much, calling me an hsts and having pure androphlia feels somehow worse than admitting im almost a tranny and exclusively gay.....
anyway... well im just really convinced on christianity, the more conservative type, but not because of society... i mean there are some churches that accept lgbt but i just dont believe that's what the bible is about... but i understand from an atheist point of view why what you suggest makes sense

>>37694931
the bible has a few verses on gays not being good, 0 on trans
and hundreds on random other things. . . that our society doesnt follow at all
I have to go, but anon I wish you the best

>>37694926
but you.... you dont look hsts.....?

>>37691670
im not even trans dude im not even a woman im not even dysphoric why am I taking hrt and making myself girly?

>>37694976
HSTS is about liking men, there's no specific appearance that conveys liking men, it's a brain-wiring thing

>>37694951
>that our society doesnt follow at all
i dont want to follow society i want to follow god...
but if there's a way to turn into a woman that he's alright with then i probably would do it
but for now ill just be sad i guess.... i dont really think transitioning at this point would be good or do anything anyway and if it did... well i dont think id do it. but there's no reason to think about that i just wanted to vent
i think im doing better now but whoops its morning i forgot to sleep
sorry if i am incoherent or sounded preachy i just need to talk about this sometimes thanks for hearing :)
also yeah if anyone has any success stories of someone stopping to have gender dysphoria id really like to hear it

bump

>>37691670
take your pills, retards

>>37695032
i took a nap and i can say that after waking up im feeling so much worse :)))))) i think im fucked i hope this ends soon

>>37696497
hi! i just came back, im so sorry please dont end anything soon, theres always a way out. and what i meant is that you follow god on trans issues but not on a lot of others. . . you can balance being christian and trans for whatever makes you the happiest

>>37696618
i am not going to end anything but i wish it did
i guess youre right but it just means i have to put more effort into following everything else god wants
and in the end its not about hapoiness in this earth its about getting to heaven... who even is happy here anyway
its fine... im gonna make it i just have to make it through days like this haha i was feeling more suicidal the other day im just feeling bad today its not that bad

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

>>37694477
You're equating love with happiness and giving you everything that would make you happy and disregarding a lot about suffering and pain. Loving someone isn't giving into everything that would make them happy, in fact at its worst showing love that way is enabling. Hurting loved ones, sometimes for your own sake or theirs is inevitable regardless of amount of love, and in fact it doesn't change the fact that you do love them just as much as you did when you were doing the things they liked.

Suffering is a valuable teacher, suffering can be worthwhile, suffering doesn't have to be a needless thing. Not to mention if this is Christianity just look at how being the Son of God worked out for Jesus. Look at the deaths of saints and martyrs, the practice of mortification. Pain and suffering take us places other things can't, they can pull beautiful things to the surface in spite of the destruction.

Things that bring us to our knees in agony bring us closer to divinity because in those moments we've had everything else stripped away. Are you unfamiliar with the concept of divine suffering?

Even if these things were punishment (they're not) is punishment borne from a lack of love or care in many cases? Not at all.

I get feeling that way, but it makes no real sense in terms of belief in God because nowhere does it imply that God allows love to prevent that. God loved Job, look how that went. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>37694505
Suffering has value.

>>37697172
if as you said before you are getting better thats something, but I just want you to know the dysphoria wont just go away.
I think youre doing the wrong move, repping because of religion solely is bad

>>37697339
true
come over and beat me up

>>37697341
>the dysphoria wont just go away.
knowing this is just so demoralizing but i dont really have any other option
>repping because of religion solely is bad
jesus approves of martyrs and we all have to take our crosses if we want to be with him and i do even if it feels like shit for now but he doesnt test us in ways we cant handle.... and i guess i have been able to handle it so far but i always feel on edge but i think ill be fine... i just have to deal with days like these ill be fine

>>37697324
i wish what i suffered wasnt from this i feel so gross and like it barely even counts its not something anyone should deal with it feels so... so humilliating like its a joke why do i have to feel like this

im going in circles im at a family gatherkng and im fucking thinkkng about this fuck my life

>>37697646
Im not christian, sorry i dont understand and i cant help you in that...
im her if you need any other help or someone to talk to, im sorry you have to deal with this

>>37697929
its fine having a place to write it down helps a lot with taking it off my chest... and maybe just be more clear on things, thank you for not being annoyed :)
i think i should just sleep more it should go away soon

>>37697966
why would i be annoyed, i just want to help as much as i can if it's pinkpilling you or helping you rep
but i doubt it will go away anon.. goodluck if you do choose to rep

>>37698271
yes i will rep... but thanks... its just that im annoyed at myself a lot lol
god will give me the strength to overcome this i just need to trust

are you happy repgen?
i am not :'(

>>37698610
:( same

>>37698610
i'm having my daily "holy fuck i'm gonna become john 50" moment

>>37698672
cant become john50 if i kms at 25 :[

>>37698716
based, same

>>37697646
I know it's painful, it isnt necessarily lifelong though. Mine lasted a very long time but I got to a point where I was able to move on. It had been suicide ideation levels of bad too.

Why you? Just how the cards fell.

Some days will be harder than others, thst's ok. What's the family gathering for?
>>37697357
If you want, I'm not strong though, I'm an about 5' tall woman...

>>37698947
wait you got over it? did you do anything in specific? can you explain more??
its for my grandfather's birthday, i just had to go to the bathroom to collect my thoughts a few times but its fine i was sble to function i almost choked on food though i saw myself in the mirror and spiraled but im fine but tell me more about you getting over dysphoria how long did it take?

Killing my sex drive removed 90% of my dysphoria. The time I wanted to transition most is when I was doing drugs that make you horny as fuck.

>>37699030
id really like killing my sex drive as well (im the christian anon here) how did you do it? i do notice it gets so fucking bad when i have a sex drive and i hate myself much more when im like that and id really really like to not have absolutely any libido at all

>>37699046
I take strattera because of my adhd and it had the pleasant side effect of reducing my sex drive by a lot. I can still jerk off If I want but it's not urgent or distracting if I don't.

it's crazy how much of my dysphoria was due to being horny and wanting to live a porn fantasy.

>>37699073
not christian-anon here, what do if i already have almost 0 sex drive.. almost all my dysphoria is from treated as a man socially and my bodily dysphoria is only because it makes me be perceived as a man

>>37699073
Is there any drug specifically made to tank libido? i mean i havent masturbated in months bjt even just getting urges like once a day can sometimes send me spiraling so i would just like to feel nothing at all
i am 100% free of porn fantasies and i still feel horny and it feels like a disease it genuinely feels pretty bad but i cant tell if its because i hate being gay/trans/whatever or what but i kind of resent having these feelings

>>37698947
that'll do fine

>>37699114
estrogen unironically. it's been used to treat sex offenders before, but i think they use some type of antiandrogens now

>>37699342
I DONT WANT TO BE A TRANNY AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
what are those antiandrogens

>>37699362
cyproterone acetate or bicalutamide

>>37699114
Trannies will say estrogen "tanks libido" but then they're all hypergooning and getting fucked by different men every other week. Transwomen have a higher rate of STDs compared to the normal population. Real "low libido"

Anyway the best you'll find are SSRIs.

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ik that you want it , do it faggot

>>37699392
believe what you want
estrogen destroyed my libido, every kind of SSRI didn't do shit

>>37699429
only if we do it together <3

>>37699388
Thanks...
>my mom just told me i would look good with my nails painted red
?????????!?!!!!!???!?!???????!?!!!!!!??????
this is beyond fucked why would she mske that comment today fuck my life

I feel like i'm the only sane repressor here. All troon propaganda just bounces off me because I know it's utter nonsense cooked up by a deranged AGP 6'2 lunatic who thinks he passes because all the other AGP 6'2 lunatics compliment him.

maybe listen to your mom? :P

>>37699503
?

>>37698980
It took years of a lot of meditation and shadow work and grounding etc.

I didn't have a chance at passing or going on hormones and looking like anything other than a tranny on top of just life stuff and religious/spiritual views. I felt like I would've been making myself into a circus freak intentionally and I didn't feel good about that being my life. In fact the idea of it made me feel more dysphoric and uncomfortable. + Neurodivergent and drug addict inability to function like a human adult didn't help.

I really thought it'd last forever, but as I started to unravel childhood trauma and issues I had with myself internally and externally the dysphoria started to fade, and then one day I realized it was gone.

The suffering was horrible and lasted a lot of my life, but now I get to live my life normally without all that.

Learning to focus more on other shit and finding things you care about that exist regardless helps too along with appreciating other things about your body.

Psychedelics helped a lot too. The detachment helped with looking at myself.

That's rough though I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Sounds weird but something that helps me destress at family stuff is actually going into the bathroom and letting water run across my wrists (cold) triggers something soothing in the brain.

It's a lot of effort to push through this shit, but you're alive and here so it's worth it.

>>37699342
Oh good, can use a belt or something if that'd help.

>>37699446
i wish someone would do it with me, it could help me overcome my fear.

>>37699508
she once told me that she thought i was a girl after seeing me in a mirror after i had shaved and i think about that a lot
i dont know if she does this to tease me or what but i fucking hate it

>>37699644
a belt is fine

>>37699665
does she know you're repressing? maybe it's what she really believe.

>>37699644
this is avtually the second time ive heard this "grounding" thing in relation to this issue... do you use /x/?
>I felt like I would've been making myself into a circus freak intentionally and I didn't feel good about that being my life. In fact the idea of it made me feel more dysphoric and uncomfortable
thats really close to what i feel
i dont really think i have any childhood trauma and ive tried looking really hard into something like that. i think i always just had my wires crossed somehow... anons say its fucked up brain chemidtry since before birth but that makes me feel really hopeless about myself but idk whats the truth
>finding things you care about
:( i always think about fahabing a family but i wrote that before here... or was it on another thread idk, but tldr i only feel i could have a family if i was a girl
other than that i find anything other really hard to care, and i have like constant demotivation over most things
>the watee thing
lol i was letting water run through my hands too. they should invent bathrooms without mirrors
>its a lot of effort
it really is. i wish i could just repent once and habe god take it all away but i guess he wants me to work through it... somehow... well maybe i got some clues but i feel like a schizo because theyre all from dreams and idk if anything will come from them
>psychedelics
ive heard people trooning out after doing them than the opposite...

>>37699788
>does she know you're repressing? maybe it's what she really believe
god i hope not the idea of any of my family members knowing that im either gay or dysphoric makes me genuinely want to die, i was thinking yesterday thay if i was found out i would just move out of the country asap and try to live a new life i cant stand the idea of people knowing im like this

>>37699828
If someone irl knew that would push me over the edge

>>37700057
over the edge of what? killing yourself or trooning? slrry my brain is fried today i havent slept in like 30 hours

>>37700125
killing myself, unless it's close family and they are supportive - which they arent

>>37700193
i think id still try to run away even if they were supportive the shame would just be too unbearable... i dont want to fucking explain that yes im almost a troon and yes im fucking gay but that im also self hating and that i think i should die like what the fuck and even if they were supportive it would be much worse like having to argue against them to not let me be a faggot its giving me a headache thinking about it, and of course extended family would akso hate me if my close family didnt (theyd probably do), its just... just a nightmare, literally a nightmare

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can you use this pic of a man falling out of a chair for the next op

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pls become yourself until it is not too late for it

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>>37700328

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>>37700341

>>37700254
where would i run away? homeless? I would kill myself, preferably in front of them

>>37700328
>>37700341
>>37700355
You people are sick. A man is dying AND struggling from delusion and you use that to shill here. Despicable...

>>37700328
>>37700341
>>37700355

Redditors post their entire life story and expect me to read all that shit.

>>37700368
:(
i was thinking just getting a ticket to literally any randlm country and just erase my past identity, but if its all hopeless, well... im christian so killing myself isnt an option

>>37700480
without my family im poor.:(((( i want to cry

>>37700390
>>37700444
you will inevitably troon out losers

>>37700526
with my family im poor
but working for like a month to get tickets is feasible... well not gettkng csught is the no1 priority so as long as you dont have weird shit downloaded on your computer or crossdress in the house you should be fine....
im not really sure how my mom (>>37699665) would know im dysphoric so im not really worrying about it but i have always been paranoid she knows im gay because i once acvidentally fell asleep with gay porn on my phone when i was like 16 and when i woke up she was in my room but she never mentioned anything that makes it seem like she knows but i still wonder.... she has never mentioned anything and i hope it stays like that until i die if she knows

>>37700598
tickets to where

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>>37699362
FYI, I did bica before, and it doesn't tank libido at all, in fact it gave me the best orgasms in my life. But the dick feels like it's under some kind of painkillers.

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this is how the pinkpiller telling you to transition and that is life is so happy and blessed on hrt looks like

>>37700341
>married with 2 kids
Fuck off. Hate that kind of "trans" people. You telling me you nutted several times in a woman and haven't felt dysphoric at all?

>>37700784
Tbhon they do look happy on the photo

>>37700784
I would be happier looking like that and being friends with other trans people and not my dysfunctional state rn

>>37700809
>>37700824
then troon out, we are waiting for you in mmg to have fun together, come on

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>>37700844

>>37700844
i would never look close to that, or be able to transition safely.. i wish

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>>37700871
this is how she looked like before, i bet you look better and younger than this

>>37700916
yeah,, but it's still hopeles. . . i cant get hrt in this house

>>37700784
>>37700809
>>37700844
Hey that's me, and someone linked here so I'm inclined to tell my story. 30 years ago, I knew something was wrong and I asked my mom to take me to the machine that turns boys into girls to fix me. She thought I was being molested. All growing up I was taught being gay was wrong and she was constantly worried I was going to turn out gay. I started cross dressing in high school with clothes and makeup I stole.

In college I started living as a gay man. I had a boyfriend, and even he thought I was just a cool dude that liked crossdressing. I was introduced to the term "transgender" which was new at the time, realized that's what I was, and started trying to live as a woman. I didn't pass, people weren't cool with it, and even my bf didn't accept me. I didn't know anything about medical transition until a few years later.

I crossdressed on and off for another decade+, lots of therapy, support groups, "repping". I know what I look like. I know what people think of trans people.

I eventually couldn't take it anymore and tried to kill myself last year. In the fallout of that, I started medically transitioning and it has helped lot. I still live as a man, but maybe one day I'll try to not, and I'm out in a few circles.

I didn't want to transition. Maybe you view this as a cautionary tale. I used to post in repgen some. It's hard, being this way, but the steps I have taken have helped me and I am in a better place, whatever that's worth.

>>37699788
You sound fun. Could we take turns?

>>37699792
I've used /x/ years ago and mostly to learn how to read charts, had reason to, long story. I've spoken about this on /lgbt/ several times including repgen in the past too. I disappear for long periods of time though.

How do you feel about reincarnation and the idea of energy and the soul etc?

Why would having a family be different to you as a woman?

Lol. Leave the lights off then if you can, I do that sometimes anyway I can find lights annoying. Just stand in the dark, cold water over my wrists, and it helps. You wouldn't really see yourself that way either. You know if you stare in the mirror for a while in very dim light, candlight even, you start to hallucinate. Your face disappears, you see other shit, it's fascinating.

I've actually spent years of my life following dreams lol. I thinks dreams matter a lot, we spend so much of our life experiencing them, they contain and hold a lot of meaning. For over a decade now I've followed dreams and signs etc and have been trying to see where that takes me in life.

Psychedelics helped me see myself the way I would a stranger, which made me more comfortable in my own skin as I'm nicer to strangers than myself. Mileage may vary I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>37701023
you look nice, i wish

>>37691670
I am thicc throughever, but nobody fucks me because I'm a manly man.

>>37700666
anywhere far away
>>37701068
>How do you feel about reincarnation and the idea of energy and the soul etc?
I'm a christian with mostly normie views... Only 1 life then you get to heaven or hell
>Why would having a family be different to you as a woman?
i dont really feel like a man to take on the father's role even if i respect it, i just dont really think i have what it takes nor that i could do well... and i like men sexually and hate being a man so onlh being a mother sounds like whst couldve been a path for me... if i was s woman
>Leave the lights off then if you can
makes sense
>For over a decade now I've followed dreams and signs etc and have been trying to see where that takes me in life.
Did it ever result in anything good?

>>37701327
Ah I figured that might be the case. I've had experiences that lead me to believe in other lives and such, though I always accept the possibility I'm misunderstanding. Shared by other people and historically accurate memories though, learned things I shouldn't have known etc. Those experiences have affected my view a fair bit.

When there's 2 dads one being more motherly is correct feeling to me + being a stereotype is less necessary than just being a positive influence.

I've learned a lot about history and various religions, it's gotten me jobs, I've met people very important to me, it's helped me get through various health issues, heal dysphoria and childhood trauma stuff. Pretty much everything in my life that I value and the reason I'm even still alive is due to this. Suicide shit, depression, addiction issues, lots of abuse etc have all been longterm issues in my life. It's done a lot.

druk and reading erotica, imagining I'm a woman lads

>>37701572
i made up my mind that if i believe in anhthing spiritual it would be through a christian lens, so its all more or less the same to me
>When there's 2 dads one being more motherly is correct feeling to me + being a stereotype is less necessary than just being a positive influence
well, christian and all, there cant be a 2 dads situation, though yeah id be the "motherly" one but if i went for a gay relationship i might as well just transition too... but im not doing that
>heal dysphoria
yeah the dreams ive been having are directly related to that. the thing that fucks with my head is that im a woman in them so its a really weird experience wakingnup from them. but basically what i "learned" from the most vivid one is that i should be looking into cabbalah to try to find an imbalance in a sephira (at least according to an interpretation from an /x/ anon which i agree with), and that i absolutely shouldnt start masturbating again lol

>>37701875
Why a Christian lens specifically? I think the Bible is a pretty comprehensive spiritual text personally, but it has ways it needs to be read and a lot in common with everything else really. I see Christian religions as bible worship rather than God desu.

I'm aware it's sinful based on Romans and Leviticus in particular, but biblically the only unforgivable sin is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. All other sins are forgivable and part of being human. We are sinful by nature, it's in our design, God acknowledges this and accepts it. Two men being together isn't blasphemy of the holy spirit. While it's not quite defined in the text we can safely assume it because the holy spirit is essentially the human link to the divine. To brush this off and diminish it is spiritual suicide because you're denying your connection to God and eternal life that way. Two guys fucking while not ideal in Christian terms is a normal level of "I'm not perfect God" Keep in mind Christianity is a religion that by design wants to spread and procreation helps this and that would come into play with the gay thing.

I wouldn't start with the tree of life personally, but if there is an energetic imbalance meditation and learning to dig into yourself would shed light on that. Tree of life does have body and energy correspondences though. Foundation helps these sorts of pursuits.

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hmmm
>>37702801
>>37702822

>>37703120
It's not even interesting.

>>37702638
>Why a Christian lens specifically?
well because i believe in god... as far the bible worshi, well idk
>Two guys fucking while not ideal in Christian terms is a normal level of "I'm not perfect God"
im sure God would even forgive me transitioning but that doesnt mean you dont have to be looking to sin, and i mean gay marriabe and having a family is more than just one fuck up haha
>I wouldn't start with the tree of life personally, but if there is an energetic imbalance meditation and learning to dig into yourself would shed light on that. Tree of life does have body and energy correspondences though. Foundation helps these sorts of pursuits
do you have specific thkngs to read?
i know thats the direction i wanna go in but idk basically anything about these and im just tying to start out

>>37705246
also sorry i took so long i fell asleep :(

>>37700784
Thanks, I was running out of repfuel.

>>37701023
How can you live with yourself looking so ridiculous?

>>37701068
take turns? of course!
>>37705657
>ridiculous
post yourself boi :)

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Bored at 2am drinking vodka
Should I:
A. elden ring
B. wander around in the woods behind my house
C. anime
D. lie in bed and dream (not to be confused with sleeping)

>>37705818
i would do elden ring, watching anime makes me feel a sad sort of way at least playing videoganes is sort of "active".
go in the woods if youre alright with being abducted by a wendigo

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>>37705852
okay okay
I would be more than alright with that, but realistically I would probably just wack myself on a tree in my drunken stupor and have a slightly more painful day tomorrow

>>37706026
I hope you have fun!

>>37706037
thank you anon
I will once I finish another glass of finlandia lemonade

>>37706061
does being drunk feel good? ive never had any alcohol

>>37706123
kinda, it makes you think about stuff less which can be good I guess
you're better off just drinking occasionally with friends where it can be actually fun instead of doing it alone a lot, unless you really deserve to be in this thread like I do

>>37706191
>it makes you think about stuff less which can be good I guess
honestly why ive been browsing 4chan so much these past few days maybe i should try it out